well hello All You Beautiful
[Music]
People you know what time it
is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and
everyone in
between gather around get you something
real nice to sip on and comfy to slip
on cuz it's time for smut Club here's
your hosts Chelsey and
[Applause]
Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut
club I'm Hannah and I am Chelsea and
this is the show where we are two
licensed mental health therapists who
like to daydrink and sometimes not
daydrink today we're definitely day
drinking and uh reviewing romance novels
of varying caliber nailed it yes yeah
yeah feel like that's our
that's like our elevator pitch for the
it is actually yeah yeah yeah we want to
let the people know what they're in for
although this is I don't even know what
number episode we're on at this point if
you've made it this far you probably get
it
sorry you're like our listeners are very
capable competent people they probably
do they understand although I will say
the book we're reviewing
today um is one that
um some people who maybe don't listen to
our podcast regularly will choose to
check out because it um has a little bit
of a cult following not unlike unhinged
that we did previously what book is this
it's squeak by Vera Valentine same
author as unhinged correct same
author yeah okay but I'm also going to
reframe that because some people might
be like what the [ __ ] is this book and
then I think other people will be like
this is what we've been waiting for
right this is why we're here thank you
squeak um it's not about a clown nose is
it no no I'm like trying to think of
things that that squeak uh probably not
what this well guaranteed not what this
book is at all but Vance and I were
recently um travel
and we're with some friends and we're
all walking through the airport and one
of the dudes was wearing Crocs that
squeed squeaked with every step and I
was like looking at his wife and I was
like I was like man I really hear his
shoes over there she airport as we
landed in the and this is a two-e trip
and she goes get used to it she goes he
has another pair at home we call his tap
shoes every time he wears them cuz they
squeak so
much I am so no and I'm like
I would just throw the shoes out in the
dead of night oh 100% the shoes would
never be found my issues with sound are
so intense I'd lose my [ __ ] though yeah
I think it's also clear that my issues
with sound are a bit intense because
bless your heart you were trying to tell
me a story earlier and my son was just
groaning in the back just like just
standing completely fine and then he'd
lay down and keep doing it just no and I
was like hey Hannah I really want to
hear your story and I cannot I can't
focus focus because my son who I love
more than anything in the world wouldn't
shut the [ __ ] up he was making a lot of
sound this morning most of them were
very cute sounds lots of Giggles I think
that's the thing it's it's cute until
you're like can we stop and he's like
best I can do is keep making sound just
need 30 seconds of Silence yes I'm like
and then the the problem is when I get
30 seconds and then it starts up I'm
like no no no 30 more like please please
don't take this from
me I was like your mother gets very over
stimulated when there's too many noises
at once I
apologize which I which I do feel like
since having a kid there is some level
that I just like block out now right but
I'm not fully immune to it and I think
as he gets older and
louder it's going to be an adventure
yeah it will an adventure I should maybe
talk to a psychiatrist
about is there a pill for misophonia I
don't think so I don't know but I'm not
a psychiatrist no I was more just
thinking about the level of
disregulation it brings she said I meant
a Valium
Hannah come on now or I could just teach
my son how to use his indoor voice and
save a lot of
money
so previously I've worked I work have
worked in substance use and we had a
female patient bring in some benzo
diazines in God's purse her prison purse
her prison purse yeah and some people
were trying to come up with a name for
what what are those right
and I was like y y'all it's out of
vagina and that was what we landed on
and we continue to call it that because
benzo vagina like didn't it just never
nothing really like ever clicked but
yeah and then I was like if we start
looking at other anatomical words that
we can use I don't know if it'll get
better I don't think any of it's good
but it definitely itely will get worse
did she have them in a container you
know I don't know I didn't investigate
further cuz I I do
feel like your body's absorption if
they're not in the
container you got to double check that
when you're using the old prison purse
you do yeah uh I knew I heard a story
one time of
someone my go
they were trying to pass a UDS so they
were trying to pass a drug test oh no oh
no and they had like a glove or a
balloon or something with the the clean
urine in it that they then wrapped in
foil so it would stay
warmer and then inserted it in their
prison
purse and
then they had a Band-Aid on their their
thumb that they had a safety pin under
that is
elaborate yeah and then you go to hold
the cup and you got to pop the balloon
it takes a lot of coordination as well
yeah but the person who was with them
like had to be in the room to and they
like I just heard a popping sound like
it was a large enough hole for the flow
so it was just like the slow trickle
sound of the littlest p
bre and she was like I think we're going
to have to have to do this test again I
think this one may be
compromised oh
no God bless so it's funny you should
bring up
balloons what a pivot I was going to say
I will take my segue of the Year award
anytime um because because we're not
here to talk about that Chelsea we're
here to talk about squeak squeak the
balloon animal uh-huh yeah you're right
Vance just learned I can make balloon
animals like in the last two weeks well
yeah because you were a clown in
Guatemala or wherever you it Panama but
I'm so impressed that you even remember
that but that also means you remember
the part where they stri me of my clown
duties cuz I kept scaring the children
do remember that um I filled the balloon
with less air this time oh and we were
successful relatively they were the
person had bought the balloons from
Sheen or oh right right right and it
they were the quality of balloons I was
like why does this balloon seem like a
lot smaller than it should for
being a balloon it like like I was
trying to make a dog and I was like it
looks like I'm making like a Teacup
Poodle like I'm like why is this balloon
so small
So based on where this book is going
everything you just said is so much okay
I'm just gonna shut up because
I okay okay so this is this is squeak by
Vera Valentine squeak by Vera Valentine
um
so we open with
poppy okay they named her poppy for the
balloons
because my son loves the trolls
franchise I was like yeah like Queen
Poppy and then I was like that's not
what Hannah was getting aty for the
balloons incredible so she's an art
student and she is sketching people at
the zoo it's one of her favorite places
to go to people watch so she's there and
it is Wicked hot outside and she forgot
her water and she's trying to figure out
like is it okay if I leave all my stuff
and like go over to the water fountain I
don't know
um cuz there were a lot of people around
all her art supplies whatever yeah so
she's like is this a safe place right
she's like I don't know if I just want
to leave all my [ __ ] you know that's
fair and so as she is having this
internal debate a super hot guy with a
bunch of balloons comes up and he offers
to watch her things cuz he saw her like
looking towards the bathrooms where the
water fountains were and he was like I
can watch your stuff if you need to run
to the bathroom or whatever um he works
at the zoo selling
balloons and um she declines that offer
um and he says oh well the the water
fountain is actually broken anyway like
a kid was jumping on it or something um
I can take you to the concession stand
and get you a water on me though if
you'd like to and he's like flirting
with her and she's like she's like I
feel like a drowned mole rat sweating in
this heat I just want some water this is
not the moment where I feel like sexiest
to be flirting with a hot balloon guy
but she's leaning into it she's like if
this is where my day is
going she's like you know I wouldn't hit
on me right now but if you want to
exactly okay you get it so I forgot to
mention this is dual point of
view um well just two so there's a third
but it's only the final chapter okay
yeah so Kean is extremely agitated he is
trying trying to do research he's
sitting in the concession stand trying
to do research because he and Sebastian
are
topas and their magic is wearing out t u
l p a okay that was TOA TOA TOA TOA okay
yeah what's a
TOA
so it is never explained in the book
so everything I'm about to share with
you comes from an episode of
Supernatural just to be very very
clear okay go on okay so aopa is
essentially um a supernatural being that
is formed from intention and belief so
it doesn't technically like fully exist
it exists because people believe in
it like Santa yes okay yeah yes mhm like
um yeah never mind I I will go on a
whole we'll just leave it there so their
magic is wearing out and so he's trying
to find a spell um to fix it and he
question is the magic running out
because people no longer believe no okay
because again if it's never really
explained like Chelsea you're asking for
a lot of details for a 54 I was going to
say in all of the 54 Pages we never get
it I will do my best to fill in some
blanks as we move along but I don't know
how successful I'm going to be um and I
apologize because you know me and I'm
going to be like I have some questions
and you're just probably going to have
to keep
going please see my previous answer at
some point I would be like Chelsea I
want to tell you but I can't I'm not
keeping secrets from you like I want you
to have this info
too so anyway okay so they're topas
whose magic is running out and he is
trying to find a new spell yes to
stabilize them I guess okay so um he is
in the concession stand at the zoo and
he gets very agitated when Sebastian
shows up with this girl so Sebastian's
the hot guy with the balloons
okay um and shows up with poppy um and
um my notes say keen and Sebastian are
lovers in the
nighttime and Kean does not enjoy the
way poppy is checking out Sebastian like
it's like pissing him off a little
Sebastian started it
exactly so but Keen doesn't know all
that and he's feeling very Territorial
and anxious about the whole situation he
he's disregulated right now I can give
him that he is he is and he is extremely
rude to her like unnecessarily so um
until she finally leaves and Sebastian
is really upset and he so we get a
little bit of backstory they were um
created by someone named Zena and not a
warrior princess she was really terribly
abusive to them she made them out of
balloon animals and then gave them like
humanoid form because she is a topam
answerer I don't
know whatever question you had I don't
know you can see it on my face I can't
see it I'm
like keep your mouth shut
Chelsea a a toam
answer
yep okay that was not in the episode of
Supernatural so I don't have any
background on it also how many seasons
into
Supernatural I have no idea maybe like
the six season like aula doesn't feel
like day one no no that feels like they
they went through the list of obvious
yeah paranormal mhm Creations yeah they
dug deep for
aula listen Jared padaki whatever his
name is
just yeah will always be Dean in my
heart 100% yep who wasn't my
favorite is that why I never watch
supernal it's a ridiculous show but
especially in the later Seasons like
they know they're ridiculous and so it's
very funny yeah just leaning into it for
sure which does make it
enjoyable yeah I also feel like that's
one of those shows that like has a cult
following but if you try and pick it up
now it's like just dated enough that
you're like I don't get it what are we
doing here and so I think that has been
my more recent hesitation to it it's
it's been a show that like I've always
thought I would enjoy yeah I've just
never prioritized it on my list it's
like a good random CW Show that's low
stakes and ridiculous and whatever but I
I always like I'll try to rewatch
it I never make it past like the ninth
season though and I give up wait there's
like 13 or 14
Seasons I never make it past season
nine yeah and you know what Hannah I
think if you've made it through nine
Seasons I can still consider myself a
fan right yeah you've uh you've still
earned that that rewatch thank
you um so
anyway Zena was terrible she was really
abusive to them and awful and um
so they can't inflate for any woman but
her but they can
inflate for each other so the words in
the book I I think my favorite part
about that whole description was the
deep
sigh end capping it like on both sides
we just went
okay this is what it is yep yep okay yep
so they if if they want to Bone a
woman they can only inflate for zena
correct but if they want to Bone each
other live your best life y so they
figure out one day that they're able to
give each other pleasure um and they
make a an Escape Plan um they know
nothing about the world they're just
like we're out and so they ran like
hundreds of miles until they found the
Zoo they'd been working in a carnival
makes sense right for however long
they've existed cuz they just were fully
grown men when they were
created so are they good at making
balloon animals yes okay yeah um and so
that's how they got the job at the zoo
was they were trying to find like what
what do you do with Carney skills well
work at the zoo and and I was like I
feel like I need to clarify if they're
just like I identify as a balloon animal
so you should hire me versus I'm really
good at making balloon animals so you
should hire me no I don't think anybody
knows that they are balloon
animals um oh okay so they they shift
into men and into animal balloon animals
when they want
to so when they're boning are they
they're balloon animals
almost it's a little of column a and a
little of column B if I'm
honest
what the look on your face
is just this like begrudging acceptance
of being like why did I outline this
book yep you know okay let so is a
little unnecessarily rude to her and
then we also learned the history about
Zena yes so Sebastian is saying that
Poppy really could have helped them
because they need sigils for the spell
that have to be really exact and she's
an artist and she could have done that
for them um but Keen is like listen I
don't really give a [ __ ] we'll find
somebody else she's not the one and
decides to distract him with a [ __ ]
again my notes
say nope I
can't he literally inflates his dick
okay and then when he finally comes it's
funnel cake icing and I'm so
sorry I'm so
sorry because here is and I you know
that this is a thing that I do I get
stuck on something in a book and I'm
like I don't understand it this this is
the thing for me of all of it
because I have never had a funnel cake
that has icing on it it's always
powdered sugar so what is it is it like
the grease from a fresh funnel cake
mixed with powdered
sugar I'm just going to go with wet
powdered sugar that's worse no it's
not the the fresh funnel cake grease
mixed with powdered sugar none of it is
good
okay that is also fair but I wouldn't
say it's worse I'd say there's just no
it's a lateral move there's no
good so question about how they inflate
are they using a balloon pump no okay
they breathe into each other's mouths
and direct the air to the
dick I'm so glad I asked
and these
balloons have the little tie off on the
tip of
it of course they do and they also have
an area at the base that inflates more
than the rest of it like a
knot from an Omega verse I was lit so
this is also an Omega verse
yep we packed a lot into these 54 Pages
wow kudos to you ver Valentine yeah she
it's full sand it really is yeah yeah so
now that Sebastian is sufficiently
distracted and relaxed they sleep
Tangled Up In balloon form so they like
hold each other and then shift back and
then gently drift to the floor in the
concession stand what happens if one
steps on them in balloon form I had a
lot of questions like what if some what
if you pop like do you die but that's
never addressed so it remains unanswered
I don't know if you've watched this
movie uh but like the cartoon on Netflix
Leo I have not watched it very fun um
but also you are really not their Target
demographic considering it's like a
kid's musical uh but one of the girls is
having a birthday party and they have a
uh
bubble balloon
artist so he'll like blow the bubble and
turn it into a dog and as soon as he
hands it to the kid a little pop and he
keeps like you're not holding it right
that's so
[Music]
mean it's one of my favorite parts of
that movie cuz it's just this like small
side thing that happens at this birthday
party hold it more gently yeah yeah yeah
got to protect the bubble balloon
art I also have questions about that I
think this episode is going to leave us
with far more questions than answers
yeah yeah it's going to be a challenge
for all of
us so so Sebastian's feeling way calmer
since he was inflated into a [ __ ]
correct um
so poppy is is sketching Keen for an
assignment um again she's an art student
and the assignment is Stern and his
expression because he was so frustrated
with her she decided that was like the
perfect thing so does she go back or is
this the same day so she does go back so
she tried to draw most of it from memory
but then like couldn't quite get some of
it so she knew she had to go um so she
shows up and he is not pleased to see
her surprisingly enough
and she's just finishing up her sketch
when Sebastian comes up to her um and
they continue to flirt and all this and
that but then she's
like the way that Keen was acting before
like are you guys together like what I I
don't want to
be yeah feels like there's a a tension
in y'all's Dynamic here and
I I literally just showed up at the
concession stand for some water yeah
what is this right she's like I don't
want to be causing issues in any
relationships or like get involved in
anything like that um and uh he says
that he doesn't know what they are um
they've never really talked about it but
then he's like we've done lots of stuff
that that we saw on and he names like
some like dark pornographic website and
she's like
[Music]
um oh she's like Okie doie I was just
wondering if you guys were together I
didn't need the explicit details of what
you do in that time together right it's
like is this it still is that a yes or a
no like what is happening um so Poppy's
like maybe you should go talk to Keen
about about that right about what label
y'all have um and then as he's walking
away he's like hey could we hire you
um to do a piece for us it's very
personal it's very private
um and she is pretty sure that he's like
asking her to sketch them nude or like
whatever and so um she's like I I maybe
maybe I could do that and he's like we
might have to demonstrate a few things
and Keen will need to show you what he
wants so you just have to be sure and
she's like God damn she's like okay like
these dudes are wicked hot like all
right um so she promises to go back and
everything Keen is really pissed that
Sebastian and Poppy are like flirting in
front of him because he's watching from
the concession stand um and Sebastian
explains that Poppy is going to help
them and um so Kean decides that he's
going to follow her um to the art school
just to make sure she's actually an art
student like she claims well no to find
a different
artist he's like Sebastian I will take
care of it like I will take care of it
we're not using her and so he's trying
to find a different artist and Sebastian
is deeply upset about this whole thing
that he that Kean is trying to like
control him and it's he's like why are
you being like this I really don't get
it um
and he's because I love you basically
which is a different issue so he gets to
the art school and gets mistaken for a
nude
model and um the professor is just like
oh my God thank God you're finally here
come on in like strip down whatever and
he comes out and like the room Falls
silent and everybody's like oh my God
cuz I guess he's packing and they're
like holy [ __ ] and the professor's like
everyone be grateful that we get to have
such a wide range of of artists or of of
models to draw this is our our pleasure
as artists to be able to to capture the
beauty of all human
form and more than most amen and so then
poppy winds up that she's in that class
she's late and so she runs in she's like
oh [ __ ] and she's very very flustered um
and after class she Corners
him um and she is like what are like you
could be [ __ ] all this up for me um
and he's like listen Sebastian is mine
and I don't appreciate you flirting and
she was like well okay he approached me
twice but okay like sure
understood like okay I'll stay away from
him
was like I literally was just sketching
at the zoo and a dude walked up to me
and offered to get me a water on him
yeah and then he he did it a second time
I was just sketching again and he walked
up so um she said like she's really glad
that they cleared the air um before she
sketches them since Sebastian had hired
her right and oh no Poppy realizes she
misunderstood and is highly embarrassed
she's like oh no and Keen seems to be
like deeply enjoying how embarrassed and
like off-kilter she is um and all of a
sudden like it seems like maybe he's
suddenly like oh she's not yeah a huge
threat look at this cute girl yeah so
then he makes out with her he's like I
get it
now I see what Sebastian sees in you put
your lips on my lips
um what a pivot yeah and then he tells
her to share breath with him and she's
like that's a really weird Kink but okay
and so she breathes into his mouth um
and he eats her out and
then she like they're in a closet at the
Art School by the way like they're in a
closet thank you for that very important
clarifying detail there's like old drop
cloths on the floor
like that's where we are now and to
catch the funnel cake
grease you don't say grease like that
yes grease is the primary problem
here you're right I'll walk that back no
the primary problem is that she finally
feels his dick and she's like when did
he put a condom on that was really
thoughtful
it was like so long ago and I honestly
don't even remember who told me the
story but it was a story about like this
like high
schooler the one who was like going to
have sex for the first time and he work
on him all day put it on that morning
and wore it to school and had it on all
day
yeah it's going to fall off I think if
you do that I'm was like did you not
have to use the bathroom at any point
during the
day did did you put it back
on you just took it off and put it on a
couple times throughout the day at
school I just have so many questions
that I don't want answers
to and this is why we need comprehensive
sex education in schools but no well to
be fair kudos to the kid for knowing he
needed protection right we're halfway
there
yeah I I
how much detail do they need to give it
kind of feels like condoms are
relatively should be
self-explanatory clearly
not okay but is that just one of those
where like yeah coffee's
hot
like like don't eat Tide Pods yeah like
this feels like I'm like is this
actually a larger issue or is this just
user error because you're you have like
a 15-year-old brain how often would we
find out though because I feel like if
there's anybody that's going to hide
their shame it's a 15-year-old boy about
not knowing how to use a condom
properly yeah I was talking to someone
about like I was mind you as a child I
did a lot of chores and like doing
family laundry was one of those chores
when I was talking to them like as soon
as I wash my son first crusty sock I no
longer did his laundry he now did his
laundry nope I was like I think that is
a great boundary what a milestone to
reach I I stopped cleaning your [ __ ]
when it started getting
crusty oh so
anyway H girl out here like Keen is so
thoughtful that he already put a condom
on yeah when did he do that he's really
Swift
also maybe I'm overthinking this I'm
looking into it too much but it does
feel like a bit of a hypocritical double
standard that
like Sebastian smiled at her and Keen is
like he's mine back the [ __ ] off uhhuh
and then as soon as he's like maybe I'm
also into her he bangs her yeah and we
like didn't have a conversation with our
partner that n we've been claiming and
demanding exclusivity from yep okay just
wanted to make sure I was processing
that correctly you
are so she's like how thoughtful of him
to put a condom on yep she's like wow so
sweet and he she goes oh one of those
open-ended ones that he had to tie
off she didn't see any of it which is
why she's so confused about when he did
it she put a condom on and it was just
open and both oh that defeats the whole
point like yeah I just have to tie a
quick loop on the other
end no for her pleasure it feels like a
flaw in the design for her pleasure oh
my
God no they do quite a bit for her
pleasure um so they have the most
amazing sex ever and she feels like a
weird bulge at his base um that when it
hits her and like goes in sends her into
outer space and she like doesn't even
know like she leaves her body the orgasm
is so incredible and astral projection
from an orgasm basically and she bites
him and then he bites
her and um she's like coming down from
like the high of everything and then
realizes like oh my God like I drew
blood and then she's like oh my God he
drew blood and she's like start starting
to worry she's like I know you wore a
condom but like this is really bad I
promise I'm clean like are you clean
she's like concerned about bloodborne
pathogens at this point rightly so
uhhuh and he stops her finally he's like
poppy poppy you're safe everything's
fine everything's fine but I have to
tell you something and he turns the
light on to
reveal that his dick and ball are royal
purple and translucent because they are
balloons but he has blood but he has
blood I wondered that too I was like if
your [ __ ] tastes like funnel cake like
what does your blood taste like like and
your blood wasn't inflating your penis
mm- the physiology of this one like
usually it's like the logistics right
this is the physiology is like I'm
missing something on
TOA
Anatomy Fair me too yeah okay so he
shows her his
translucent balloon animal dick uh-huh
and she screams her head
off understandably so then did you touch
up your purple hair just for
this
no to be fair for those who are newer
here Hannah has had purple hair for
years I have had purple hair for a long
time not new for the
show she had a situation where she had
to find a new hair stylist did it was
it's been a journey and so it's been a
shockingly dark journey to find somebody
to do my stupid hair there have been
legal ISS
along this journey that I'm not going to
go into cuz they're not the bot is
involved in multiple counties
like so Hannah finally found someone and
like your hair is now like when you
watch my house I was like oh Hannah
looks like Hannah again like she has
like the purple's back the purple's back
yeah yes so no for the record I want to
be abundantly here I did not color
coordinate for the for the review today
oh my God what a level of commitment
though I know I don't have it but I
applaud those who might so this is our
last bit and it is all from Sebastian's
point of view because he is panicking
like freaking out wait so when you said
the last chapter we're already oh we're
already there yeah okay yeah for some
reason that's harder for me to wrap my
head around than the balloon animal dick
yeah yeah okay yeah what what does
Sebastian need is he okay so he is back
at the concession stand running it
because keen's getting his balloon dick
wet right and it's closed now and kean's
been gone for hours and he was supposed
to just be running out to the library
cuz he lied about where he was going so
Keen said he's going to the
library and he's not back and he's like
starting to freak out but Kean finally
shows up with po and they're both like
clearly shell shocked and have blood all
over them all over them it says it's
like down their fronts like down the
front of them I was like how hard did
you guys yeah did you get an artery or
something I'm like the number of like
books we've read that have vampires that
will break skin suck your blood and then
they're like and then I just like licked
the wound and closed yeah and she just
pulled her bra strap back up and we
moved on with our day right that was not
the case it looks like they were in a
car accident level of of blood that's
the way it seems okay um and Sebastian
realizes what's going on because he had
read some of Zena's books before they
escaped and he realizes that Keen and
Poppy are mates
she is
a true tulpamancer
Omega Keen is an a TOA
Alpha your
face is Sebastian a beta is he also an
alpha he's also an alpha okay um so he
is trying to calm them down and like
explain to them what's going on while
also mate they did they didn't like
neither one of them knew um because Keen
had never read the book and they never
talked about it um Sebastian and Kean
never talked about it because they were
running for their lives and stuff so let
me guess once you're
mated that's it for life your your penis
will inflate for them too yeah so that's
nice I mean I guess she already inflated
it because we had that that whole sex
scene but it makes like
make sense on the why she was able to
when historically they've only been able
to find pleasure in each other
right and that's the end almost oh okay
so Sebastian is also trying to process
through and make peace with the fact
that like now that Kean and Poppy are
together like there's no place for him
in that Dynamic so he's like goes into
problem solving mode to get her a nest
cuz he realizes like she's going into
heat because like her Omega just woke up
or whatever and so they need to get her
somewhere safe and everything um but
then he realizes like Kean brought her
to him to help him take care of her and
it's all confirmed that like of course
Sebastian is going to be a part of this
Bond um and uh they get her off in the
car in the parking lot before they go
back to her apartment so that she can
nest and like ride out the heat poppy
agrees to bond with him too um with
fashion as well and they [ __ ] a whole
lot at one point
she ties little knots into keen's dick
to make anal beads
[Laughter]
yeah it it does say that she was really
worried that it was going to be hurting
him and so they had to continuously
convince her that like it was not
causing him any pain and he was into
it he just said kiss me and then take a
deep inhale and take some of the air
back out and then there will be enough
room just deflate me slightly so you
have more room for the
knots we didn't get that deep into it it
was literally just like she's she tied
some
knots um and then this is the really
good bit this is like oh this is the
reason this a really good bit this is
like the final two paragraphs okay Zena
shows
up to take back her
toppas and Poppy is still in heat and
goes all crazy territorial grabs her
seems like she's going to kiss her but
winds up blowing helium into her mouth
and Zena floats away they live happily
ever
after I told
you and you said there's a sequel there
is a sequel it is called
squeal squeak and
squeal but I did not read the second one
Squeakquel The Squeakquel yeah yeah yeah
which is what ver Valentine named it
which I can't appreciate respect all
around for ver out
here wow
yeah
yeah ver really packed so much in those
54 Pages she really
did it only took me like less than an
hour to read
it no shame to those of you that don't
read as quickly as Hannah but but if 54
Pages took you longer than an hour I'd
probably be checking in to make sure you
were okay I appreciate that yeah yeah I
move with a
swiftness you do yeah which and I even
had to reread parts of this to be like
wait a
minute yeah this feels like there was
probably a lot of like am I missing
something let me go back I must have
missed that and then you're like oh no I
didn't like hang on a second what m okay
okay yeah so this was one that
um it had more plot than I was expecting
I would say so packed into those 54
pages and I feel that based on the book
description it delivered on on what it
promised in that book description I got
more than I anticipated out of these 54
pages and I didn't even read it mhm yeah
mhm so balloon animals are the rating
right there's obvious there's no other
option here
mm funnel
cakes no balloons balloons balloons I'm
sorry listen I'm here for for the funnel
cakes I think uh your question of what's
the consistency made of is really I did
ruin it and I'm just like yeah it's just
icing if I just go it is like powdered
sugar icing over a funnel like
I I think when we included
grease it really turned it you know what
I mean though I do but all I can think
of is the grease
traps oh no I get it yeah and I think
that's where I'm like yeah no I get it
but
also
yeah what
I'm really curious about the squeak wol
cuz I'll also say I feel like there are
books that we've read where we're like
there's one sex scene that's 54 Pages
yeah yeah yeah and so I'm like wouldn't
that be incredible if this the squeel
was just a fully sent one
scene that would be pretty awesome I did
read the description though and it
sounds like they introduce
another partner oh from the description
I couldn't really
tell I'm glad that they all found each
other yeah because I imagine that's
a that's a difficult conversation on a
first
date is that is that a first dat
conversation
though I feel like you're really just
making balloon animal snakes like you're
not I was like trying to make an octopus
last week
that doesn't feel like something for
this book no no right just I think just
snakes which is just a a long balloon
just a long balloon just a long balloon
but his J wasn't a balloon when he was
posing for the art class right so it was
only when he was
inflated was my understanding that was
not explicitly purle and engorged yeah
okay yeah so how many balloons is this
out
of
eight
54 oh yeah out of 54 we can do that
um 20 I was going to say I think like 20
yeah like 18 or 20 I'll defer to you
since you're the one who read
it 18 to
20 yeah 19 out of 54 19 out of 54 final
offer there was a 20th balloon but it
slightly deflated
so it floated away like Zena at the end
yeah that was one I read like three
times I was like I'm sorry this is the
big fight scene and she
like kissed her so she floated away what
yeah okay but when she kisses the guys
is it helium that like are they
inflating each other with helium or just
air I don't know are there are there
dicks floating up I don't
know okay so 19 and a partially deflated
20th out of
54 balloons um let us know how many
balloons you would rate this um and
don't forget to like subscribe review we
would love to hear all of y'all's
thoughts cuz
this this was a journey I'm still
processing I will be processing this one
for a while I think that's also part of
why I didn't read this second one
because I was like I need time like I'm
still just processing the first yeah I
need time all right 19 out of 54 don't
forget to like subscribe comment review
we would truly love to hear all of your
thoughts and we will see you next time
bye smut [ __ ]
bye well that's it for this week's muts
[ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it
sure was great for us if you're digging
what we're doing it would mean a lot if
you'd take a minute to rate and review
the show wherever you're listening right
now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend
us an ear we love you we appreciate you
and we'll see you next week stay Spidey
[Music]