Zoe: Welcome to the Autism and Theology podcast, brought to you by the Center for Autism and Theology at the University of Aberdeen.

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Autism and Theology podcast. I'm Zoe and it's great that you've joined us this week. This podcast is a space where we engage with the latest conversations in the field of autism and theology, share relevant resources, and promote ways of helping faith and non faith communities enable autistic flourishing.

The podcast is run by the Centre for Autism and Theology at the University of Aberdeen, which we've shortened to CAT. Today I'm joined by Madeline Schofield, who we've invited to come and share about her experiences of sharing about autism on social media. 

Maddy, it's so great to have you on the podcast. Could you introduce yourself to our listeners, share a little bit about yourself and what you do? 

Maddy: Yeah, hi, um, thank you so much for having me.

I'm really excited to to be on. Um, I am, as you can probably tell from my accent, I'm from Australia. I live, I've just moved to Newcastle, uh, in New South Wales, uh, with my husband, living in a little caravan out the back of my parents house. Um, I work for a Christian ministry called Our Daily Bread Ministries, and I'm, I'm just a writer and editor for a mental health, podcast and blog, that we do.

And yeah, when I'm not working, I love running and fishing and sewing things and just making stuff basically. So yeah, um, I, yeah, that's me. 

Zoe: It's so nice to have different guests from all around the world and yeah, very nice. Yeah, it's fun. Like I feel we have quite a good mix of accents on the podcast, which I do quite like.

But yeah, and Maddy, you run a social media account that you share on a little bit. It's not specifically about autism, but you do share a little bit about autism on it. Can you chat a little bit more about that? 

Maddy: Yeah, definitely. So it, I mean, it's been my, just my personal Instagram account since I was, I think, 14, I suppose, um, so it's definitely just morphed and become different things over the years, uh, but I was only diagnosed a couple of years ago, um, when I was 22.

So it's only been, yeah, in, in the last, uh, three, four years that I've been sharing about autism on that platform. Um, for me, it just made the most sense cause that's where I already was online. Uh, and, but yeah, as you said, it's not, I didn't set it up as an autism account. Like it's always been just as my account sharing about my life.

Um, and before autism, it was very much, um, yeah, just like mental health and things I was going through. Um, I'm a big believer in, in, well, at least I personally feel called to being vulnerable online in a way that might encourage other people who face similar things. So yeah, it just kind of felt natural that when I got diagnosed, I went, great, I want to start talking about it.

Um, yeah. 

Zoe: Yeah, amazing. And how did that kind of, like, how did you start doing that? Like, was it just kind of sharing little bits and pieces? 

Maddy: Yeah, it, it actually took me, um, so like, in my natural state, you know, I don't have as much of a filter. I'm a very open person. There's not a lot that's, like, Secret or private just for me personally.

Um, so when I got diagnosed, I was, you know, ready to just Share with the world and I got some very wise advice from uh, my my boyfriend at the time He's now my husband. Um, and my parents and just people who said, uh, hey, why don't you just give it give it a year? Um, because this is so new and you don't really know how you're going to end up Feeling about it.

You haven't really learned everything. Um, not that I have now, but you know, the language, uh, to use, all the intricacies of like what that looked like in my life, how, how the diagnosis was going to shape things. Um, they were like, just give yourself space to, to figure that out for yourself before you start going public, because it's very hard to take things back.

Um, And I'm really glad I listened to them. Like it was hard because it did feel like, Oh, I'm keeping this big secret for a whole year. Um, and I, of course I told like my closest friends, but, um, yeah, having always been so open online, it was a little weird. And then that first time that I, that I shared, it was exactly a year to the day from my diagnosis because I was like, I don't know, very literal about that.

Um, and I just, I put up a video, basically, it was, I think, six minutes long, which is fine. Way too long for social media and it was more addressed to like friends and family and people who, who know me just saying, Hey, I, I've been diagnosed, um, and here's a little snapshot of what, what that kind of looks like for me.

Cause I was aware that it was going to be a big surprise to, you know, to most people. So yeah. 

Zoe: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's like, it's just such an amazing story of how like, It isn't like bad to share obviously and it's good to share but just like giving yourself time to understand and process and yeah oh that's a really lovely story of it um and what was the kind of response when you shared that?

Maddy: I was pleasantly surprised um I had prepared myself thinking I mean this is going to be a bit of a shock to to some people um I was aware that even some friends who like people can kind of see it as a a little bit of a dig at them that they didn't notice sooner. Um, I don't know. Yeah, if that makes sense.

But, um, I'd had a few people who were quite adamant, you know, no, you can't be autistic. That's. Like, they always took it as a personal insult that, you know, you're saying that I don't know the real you. Um, and so I was careful to explain it in a way where I was like, hey, this is completely new for me too.

This is a surprise. Um, this is what masking means and that's why it has taken this long to discover this. But it doesn't change who I am. Like, 

Literally nothing. It just helps me understand myself better. 

Zoe: Yeah. 

Maddy: So. I think in doing that and in like had, had I shared straight away right at the beginning, I don't think it would have been as positive of a response from people, but because I, I just feel like I had had time to sit with it and, um, to just learn how to talk about it.

That by the time I shared, Yeah, most people were very accepting, very encouraging, um, what did surprise me was how many people then started messaging me like straight away going, Oh, maybe I am like, because I think they saw, well, if I'm like you, you know, and you're autistic, then maybe it's not just for boys or for kids.

Um, yeah, so I think very quickly I realised this is something people want to talk about. They're really curious. They, they have a lot of questions and not always a lot of avenues where they feel safe asking them. You know, you can join an online forum, but I've seen some of those groups and you can get torn apart for, you know, phrasing something wrong and it's just sad.

So I really want it to be a space where friends and family and, and strangers who found it could just, Ask, you know, really blunt questions. 

Zoe: Yeah, and that's like amazing what you've said about kind of having that time to learn how to talk about it as well and um, that is so important isn't it? Like get things across in a way that's helpful to people and yeah, it's yeah, well and Yeah, obviously you've said that the account isn't purely about autism awareness, it's your life and part of that is being autistic.

Um, but I wonder what the highlights you would say have been of running your account and sharing a little bit about autism on it. 

Maddy: Um, I think mainly it's been, there have been several people who've been diagnosed, uh, basically seeing something I've posted and, and that's really cool, like, I, I never would have known if they hadn't taken the time to actually message and, um, a couple of them are people I know, but the vast majority are complete strangers who, yeah, I'll just get a message in my inbox.

Um, every couple of weeks and it'll be like, Hey, we don't know each other, but you know, I saw this video or this post or something you said triggered like, Hey, this could be something worth exploring. And I've actually just gotten diagnosed and I felt like I wanted to share that with you and say, thank you.

And that is just like, the coolest thing and, and such a privilege because when, when I was unsure and like before I got diagnosed, part of the process of getting there was just finding other accounts and other people that were talking about like, Hey, I have sensory differences or I get sensitive to this and starting to put the pieces together.

And if it hadn't been for other people sharing, I wouldn't have got diagnosed. So it's just like, yeah, it gets me really excited to get That I've been like this tiny part in, in different people's journey. Um, even unintentionally. So that's, that's probably my highlight. 

Zoe: Yeah, I think that's something like, I know I find this so often when you're like sharing content and you can be like, you end up sort of looking at the engagement or like how it kind of seems that you think people are receiving it and then you get one of those messages and it's like, Even if that post that did not perform so well, if one person saw that and like in your case like found out that they wanted to pursue looking into an autism diagnosis, like that's so incredible and just like the impact you can have is, is amazing.

Yeah, incredible and yeah, 

Maddy: and it's just so, um, I'm so grateful that like those people have told me that because you're right, like it can be discouraging sometimes I can put hours into, you know, drafting and scripting something and editing and I put it out there and maybe you get like, oh, yeah. One comment from like, you know, my Nana saying, good job and, and I can be a bit like, Oh, is there a point in this?

That's, that's awkward. Um, and, and God has really like worked in my heart with that in terms of not seeking the big numbers, but just like. Being okay that if it's just one person, um, and I might not know that. And that is kind of freeing in a way, because then it means I can tell myself like, Oh, that might've tanked, but like, Hey, maybe that one view that meant something to someone.

Um, but it's, it's. Yeah, definitely humbling when that happens because God has to be like, Hey, remember I told you just like, be obedient and just put it out there and I'll handle the rest. 

Zoe: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And it's just, I guess like an encouragement to other people as well, like if there's been content that's particularly resonated with like you as our listeners, um, from people's online accounts or whatever else, let them know and yeah, you don't know, like, yeah, people want to hear the impact that things have had.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And. You've obviously, like, spoken about, um, what you've been particularly proud of, but is there any content that you've been particularly proud of that you've produced? 

Maddy: Um, uh, I think, like, there have been a couple of little reels I've done that were basically to answer some common questions I get or, like, sort of debunking some of the myths, um, you know, for example, like, why, why do we use, uh, Identity first language instead of person first.

Like, you know, we, I say I'm autistic. I don't say I have autism. Um, things like that that I, I just sort of went, Ah, lots of people in my life, like they want to say the right things and they, they want to get it right, but like they haven't been taught how to or haven't had it explained why. Um, so I've seen, I guess, benefits from like those more just very basic things like, Informational, hey, it's something you might not know, um, but probably the one that, yeah, I guess that I'm most proud of is maybe that very first video I ever did, just because that one, I felt like it had the most at stake, um, and yeah, I'll never, I'll never get that back that very first, like, showing that out there, um, and that is a little weird when, when I'm meeting people now.

I mean, often they've looked me up online first or something, or, you know, and so they're coming into it, like, like you and stuff like, like people who just know that about me, um, But yeah, that first time sharing was probably the biggest deal. 

Zoe: Yeah, and yeah, it's just like I admire so much your boldness of that just to like take that step for the first time and yeah, definitely something to be proud of.

And you've talked a little bit about like the response to that and how people respond to other content you have, people messaging you, people asking questions. And so often people describe like a community around social media accounts, which kind of feels strange when it's like. on a phone but it's so true like you get to know people who you follow or who follow you and yeah I just would love to hear a little bit more about the sort of community around your account.

Maddy: Yeah that is an interesting question because I totally like there are accounts that do seem like communities and people get to know each other um I don't know if I feel like I mean I'd like to think my account could become that space but it kind of just feels like a lot of just different one on one.

thread with people. Um, I'm like, I'm not quite sure if my followers, you know, have much to do with each other. Uh, but I do find, you know, if I'm posting on stories or polls and quizzes and people want to share their thoughts and like, I guess, see each other's responses that way, that's kind of nice. Um, I, yeah, it's sharing vulnerably about anything kind of invites people to do the same, which is beautiful, but it can also create this.

But a sense of closeness, but 

that isn't 

actually there, you know, people can kind of get that like, Oh, but she shared something really, really deep with me. And so, therefore, you know, we're close or I can then do the same. Um, and I consider it a privilege when people want to connect and share their own journeys with me.

But that is also one of. Yeah, one of the challenges of being public like that. Yeah, 

Zoe: yeah, absolutely. And can you share a little bit more about those challenges of people kind of messaging 

Maddy: yeah, yeah, I guess. Like I was saying, it's holding space for a lot of different people's journeys, and they're all at different points along there.

And they're all thinking, hey, I'm going to message this person because, you know, maybe they look like, like they're at least diagnosed, or like there's something there, and I want help, or I want advice. Um, and, yeah, and I don't have to take that lightly, but, but it's, Is definitely, it can be really draining and and um, To, yeah to have to kind of individually speak into each of those people's lives and I guess because I'm not, I'm not a big account, um, I don't feel like I have that like anonymity of being large where people are like, Oh, she's, you know, the massive account.

Of course they won't reply because I'm so small. It does feel like I've got that burden. She's just a person with a couple of followers, you know, she should, she should respond to me. Um, and I, and I always try to, it does, it'll take me a long time, but I, yeah, I'm not, I'm not an extrovert. It's not, I doesn't energize me having these conversations.

I do it because. I think about if I was in their shoes, um, what, what would I want? Uh, but I'm, I'm still learning and juggling how to have boundaries as well, because, uh, yeah, there'll be people who message you who just want to reply straight away. And they'll, you know, they'll have a question about like a job interview tomorrow or something random, you know, that kind of ties in with autism, but I have to go.

I'm one person and, and they can't see, you know, everything else on my plate, that's fine. Um, so, yeah, I do kind of wrestle with that, like, constantly feeling like I'm letting people down. Like it's, 

you 

know, I wish I had more time and more energy. Um, yeah. 

Zoe: Yeah, and it's so hard when it's like such a personal thing and you want to help everyone but also you're one person with your own needs and yeah that must be hard to sort of balance and I guess like how, how would you kind of think a boundary would look like to support people but also protect yourself a little bit in that situation, like as your account grows?

Maddy: Yeah, that is a great question. I have, I've known for a long time that I need to change things around that because at the moment I'll just, I will reply to everyone, um, you know, even if it takes me a while. I think, I think I have to give that to God and know that, um, I'm not the answer to these people.

Problems or questions you know that there are. Plenty of other people who can do an incredible job of, of answering who have, have the time and space or who wants to do that. Um, I think, yeah, perhaps I can get better at sort of referring on, but I think that that's one of the struggles I have is when people, especially people of faith message, and they're, you know, they're linking their autistic experiences with their faith.

I don't actually know many other. People personally, but that is seeking. openly about that. I mean, you guys now with the podcast, I'm going to be like, great, go listen to that. Um, so I think, yeah, just having more people doing their little bit in their little corner of the internet would be cool because yeah, then it wouldn't be so unusual to hear someone talking about it.

Zoe: Yeah. I love that. It's like, sometimes the answer is just like, more people raising awareness and doing what you're doing, like sharing little things and being willing to be vulnerable if they're comfortable doing that. And, um, yeah, it's really amazing seeing what you're doing. Um, another bit of content that you put out recently was the masking video.

And I think I've said to you before we spoke, and I just loved the like, honestness and openness about that. Um, I think you kind of described it so well that you're on a journey, like you don't have all the answers to unmasking. And yeah, I'd love, um, yeah, to hear a bit more about That little bit of content, um, maybe share a little bit with our listeners more about what you did with that and what the response has been.

Maddy: Yeah, yeah, sure. Um, yeah, I totally don't have all the answers. And honestly, I let that hold me back from sharing things, um, far too often. I've got, um, So many notes on my phone of like half written things and drafts and things I would love to chat about, but I keep going, Oh, but I, I don't have all the answers or it's just so hard to account for all the nuance.

Um, so masking was one of those topics for me and I'm like, it's, it's such a huge thing, but I don't even know how I feel about it. I. I've masked all my life, um, unknowingly at times, uh, having, having been diagnosed more recently, but, um, I'm not one of those. I feel like there are different ends of the spectrum, not, not the autism spectrum, but just, um, in terms of people who either are like masking is, is terrible and we should just completely unmask, um, and not follow the social rules and break free from that.

And then there are the people who. Who are more like, well, actually masking is survival and it's important and everybody, whether it is or not, so for me, looking at that, I was like, I'm going to upset a lot of people if I'm just, you know, one side or the other, and I really don't know. I genuinely feel like I sit in the middle.

I'm, I'm grateful that I was taught how to mask because it's God and me, opportunities and things I might not otherwise have had, but it also has come at a cost. Um, yeah, the sort of grieving process that comes with realizing you might not have been your authentic self for a long time. Uh, but anyway, that, yeah, the video you're talking about, I I just kind of went, okay, I, I don't have an answer, but maybe I'll just like, opt out the conversation.

So, 

um, I was putting on makeup. I thought that was kind of ironic, like busy putting on a mask. Um, and I don't wear makeup often. So for me, that was, it was far harder than I thought to like multitask and talk to camera. Um, but yeah, I, I had a lot of messages after that one, especially, um, just people who, uh, some of them were exploring whether they might be autistic and that was helping them go, ah, okay, so it is possible to like see someone who makes eye contact and who, you know, can, can appear like neurotypical, uh, but still be autistic.

And then there are the other people who, who aren't. But who were like, thank you for explaining it a little, um, giving, you know, an illustration to how that feels. Um, so yeah, I'm, I'm glad. Yeah, I'm glad I could start the conversation. I, I don't know if it'll ever end. 

Zoe: Yeah, and I think as well, it's like, everyone masks, right?

Like, it's not, like, for autistic women in particular, it can be a particularly . big thing but I think that's where like so many of these conversations like as well as having such a big impact on the autistic community it also just helps other people understand themselves a bit more and understand for like cultural and social norms have maybe like impacted their personality a little bit and um.

Yeah have hidden parts of them and it's, yeah, these conversations aren't just important for autistic people, it's everyone, everyone benefits. 

Maddy: Yeah, there shouldn't be so much like gatekeeping around these topics and ideas, um, because you're so right, everybody, everybody masks, um, or has, yeah, to varying levels, but at different points, um, whether they know it or not.

So, yeah. Yeah, 

Zoe: I guess like another example of that is your, um, there was one recently I loved when you were on the plane Sorry, I feel like I sound like an absolute stalker like

When you were like, um, you were on the plane and someone asked you to swap seats and You just described your experience and put up a poll and it it was so simple just like chatting about what you'd experienced And putting up a poll. It's not like I mean, maybe it took a while to do that, but it's not like hours now.

It's just like a simple story and inviting people to respond. But even just that, like, encourages people to reflect on their own actions and their own ways of doing things and how they respond to things. And yeah. 

Maddy: Yeah, yeah. And I've found, um, Funny people, people love being asked their opinion, like they love clicking on 

Zoe: a poll.

Maddy: It's quite funny, like, I'll, yeah, people I don't know, or like my, my boss, um, like the CEO of our company, he follows and he's, he's always like reacting and answering the polls. So anyway, um, I, yeah, I love seeing different people I know pop up there, but it. Yeah, it's those little, like, just everyday moments that, 

that, 

oh, sometimes the most impactful, the ones that I, they're not even a post, as you said, they're just film stories, um, you know, like, showing up to an Airbnb that hadn't, hadn't been cleaned yet, and I was like, you know, describing, hey, I really struggled with confrontation, and like, I didn't say anything, what would you have done, um, so, yeah, I get, and I think that's where, you know, Going back to earlier, like, a lot of people will then feel like, Oh, I want to message you to tell you about what I would have done.

Um, and if 50 people all do that for the same story, then it's like, oh man, that's a lot of conversations I just started in separate little tribs and drabs about something that's Is, you know, seemingly innocuous. Um, yeah. But yeah, it, it's cool that people wanna share. It makes them reflect, as you said.

Zoe: Yeah. And I think as well, just kind of going back to like what you were saying about the masking video and putting on make, putting on makeup and that being kind of like an interesting way of presenting what masking looks like. Talking about masking, while. Putting on makeup. Yeah, yeah. And then sharing ppolls

like, this is what I love about social media as well, you can share things in such a creative way that, you know, you can't in other methods, like. like a podcast or writing, like it allows you to use some of those slightly more creative things that people maybe don't engage with every day or don't notice, but it just helps make your point.

And 

Maddy: yeah, yeah, it's definitely an angle. Cause like my background, I'm a writer and I love words. And so I've had a blog for a long time before I had this account. Uh, Yeah, a blog, I guess, is a bit limiting. It's, you know, not everyone wants to read or has the time to read. So it's been an interesting shift of like, I'm not, I would consider myself a creative person, but I'm not a photographer.

I'm not a video editor. It does sort of take me a long time if I want to make a reel, which I wish I had more time. I keep saying like, one day when I'm on maternity leave or something, the baby will be sleeping and, you know.

Zoe: Yeah, it's like always finding the time to do these things and 

Maddy: yeah, yeah, 

Zoe: yeah. And I know we've kind of touched on this quite a bit, but I guess just to ask it, why do you feel that it's important to share about autism online? 

Maddy: I think, I mean, I'd say firstly for yourself, because if you're not sharing about it at all, then that, if you're autistic, that's a part of you that, that the world isn't getting to see.

Um, so yeah, even just, even just for yourself, but I guess the huge one is just, um, visibility and, and for both the autistic and non autistic people out there, um, seeing themselves represented get in, in all forms. Um, I think. A lot of people are getting diagnosed now because the conversation is shifting and they're seeing that you don't have to be Yeah, a little boy who is obsessed with traits to be autistic and and that came about because you know More and more adults and women and people were putting their hands up and saying well I, I grew up, I'm an adult, but I'm still autistic, and actually trains aren't my thing, but, you know, but this is.

Um, I have, like, all sorts of random special interests. But, um, yeah, I think it's important for people to know that it's also not something to be ashamed of. Um, you know, when So, my parents sort of suspected that I was autistic most of my life, but didn't get the label because they were like, well, that's going to be damaging in her life, you know, maybe people won't want to hire her, all these things, um, which is, I totally see why, but it, it is sad that people feel like they need to hide it.

Um, And I think it just takes enough people saying, Hey, this is how my brain is wired. And I'm not ashamed about it. Um, I'm here and I can still, you know, do the job or I 

can, 

I'll still be your friend. Like, don't discount me. Uh, I think if enough of us do that, yeah, within a generation or two, it'll just be, Oh yeah, they're just wired differently.

Zoe: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I guess that's another thing with your account. Like it's, As we mentioned before, like, although there's so many accounts that are like focused on autism, which is amazing, it is also cool to have that type of account that isn't centered on, completely on autism. It's your life.

And again, it just shows that like, this is a normal human experience. It's just slightly different to other people. 

Maddy: Yeah, and I feel like there's totally space for both, but if you've got, you know, an autism only account, then I mean, the average person who's not autistic is probably not going to be following along or feeling like that's a space for them.

Like, I'm not out there following I don't know, OCD accounts, but I have plenty of friends who have OCD and share about that. And that's how I learn and hear about it. So if I didn't have people, just normal people sharing about it, I probably wouldn't, you know, learn about it. 

Zoe: Yeah. That's not something I would have ever kind of thought of before, but it's so obvious.

Like it is just like, you follow along someone and then you find out something about them. I know this is like so cliche, but I don't know if like, is Mrs. Hinch such a big thing Non UK spaces. 

Maddy: What is that? 

Zoe: So she's this like, um, famous cleaning account based in the UK and she recently shared that she was autistic and I think kind of similar.

So what you're saying now just resonates so much. It's like, well, that must have had such a big impact for people following who would have never engaged with autism accounts before, but just having someone that they follow and being like, Oh, that's a normal thing. 

Maddy: Yeah. Yeah. Because they do say like, I think it's, is it one in 20 or I'm not sure the stats of how many people are autistic.

It's obviously always changing and growing, but, um, yeah, everybody probably knows someone, even if they can't think. Um, same thing with like Morgan Hoppe. Morgan Nicole, Morgan Harper. She's like the Instagram, um, she does like, she's a Christian. She does, um, verses and like pretty illustrations. She came out as autistic and, um, yeah, again, I think just people in the public space are like, oh, wow, cool.

Like, yeah, I know someone there. 

Zoe: Yeah, and like, as you said, there's space for both. There's space for those like purely autistic accounts and that is the focus, but there's also space for life and yeah, it's really amazing to see what you're doing with that. Um, and kind of coming through like Thinking more about that for our listeners, um, is there any advice that you would give to people who are listening and maybe really want to share about their autumn online or thinking about it, um, whether that's like to just their small following or wanting to grow an account?

What advice would you give to those people?

Maddy: Um, I think if, yeah, if it's very new and fresh, um, I did really appreciate, like, taking a year to, to not be public about it, um, just, just personally, um, but if it's, yeah, I, I think I would have those conversations with the people you're closest to first, be, before you're going public, because I, um, yeah, you never want people to think that you're not.

Yeah, you're just more comfortable with strangers online than, than being able to tell them, uh, and yeah, but, but then, yeah, once people know, um, Yeah, I think just start and start small and like it doesn't need to be some big hurrah I'm autistic or like perfectly curated thing or even you know You don't need to have like you don't need to be educational or or anything that's not natural to you You know, there are accounts that are that and that's great for them.

But like if for you, it's just sharing Hey, this is how I stim, or, you know, here with me getting anxious in this situation. Um, yeah, do, do what, just what's natural to you, and then don't feel like you have to pigeonhole yourself. Um, because I've definitely felt like, you know, the more traction I get from the autism related things, I'm like, well, should I just, should I Should I just morph everything into that?

Should I stop sharing the rest of my life? And then I think, well, no, because I'm still, I'm a whole, complete person. And I think that's good for people to see that, that, you know, I have my fishing and creative stuff and like, you know, you're going to get it all with me. Um, it doesn't have to be so segregated, but, uh, yeah, just, just, just, Do it for the love of it, and then probably put down boundaries um, because that's something that's sticking to me.

I, I, I'm still learning that. 

Zoe: Yeah. Yeah. 

And before you spoke about that taking a year's break as well and kind of learning how to talk about it yourself and I would really like to know as well your advice for people seeking to learn how to the right language and the right ways of speaking about their experiences and what they can do during that time that they're sort of learning about it.

Maddy: Yeah, great. Um, I think just other accounts, basically, I, I felt like a massive lurker, you know, I wasn't public yet. So I was just like, I did join a bunch of Facebook groups, um, which, which were helpful at the time. Uh, and yeah, I wish I could, you know, rattle off all the accounts off the top tip of my tongue, but I, I can't, but, um, Just, I mean, even searching by hashtags, you can search, like, uh, actually autistic was like a big one that I found, I, um, just finding other adults who, especially like there's a whole group of people who've been late diagnosed, um, cause that's a, that's quite a different, I guess, experience than the people who've grown up knowing, um, often.

There are, there are different things to process, so yeah, I would just take that time to like Yeah, other people's stories, comment, like, ask questions, uh, listen to things, there are, yeah, there are so many things out there, uh, and then I guess just taking a bit of a distilling time of, like, 

you don't 

have to just absorb everyone's opinions, you know, I very quickly came Uh, realized that there are some pretty polarizing opinions in the autistic community, um, on on most things.

You know, some people would say, you can, you can never use person first language and others are like, no, it's up to the individual and, um, you know, whether Asperger's is like an okay term to use anymore, all these things that I would have had zero clue about before being 

diagnosed. 

And that's why I'm glad I picked that year because I might have just come out the gate sharing, you know, and I'm this level autistic and this and that, which might have offended a whole bunch of people.

Um, so, but I would tread lightly because, um, unfortunately not all spaces have a lot of grace for people who just genuinely don't know and for ignorance. So, um, yeah, don't be surprised if, yeah, people have very strong feelings about these things. Um, I think that just comes from having been hurt in the past, that's not, you know, it's okay to not know and to ask questions.

Zoe: Yeah. Yeah. And I guess it's also like being prepared for that slightly darker side of social media that is just not nice. Like, yeah.

A few comments about um, why women shouldn't be in academia and like these, like, I think like you need to like, it's awful, but like, I think it's that I remember being quite shocked at like, Oh, I didn't know people would actually like troll tiny accounts, but like people do and it's, I guess.

Being aware of that happens and are you okay just to delete those and block people and move on or yeah 

Maddy: Yeah And if and if you don't think you would be you know Telling the right people or like having like my husband's great. I can I just read to him about like I got this message You know, it's got me down a bit or like you need those other outlets that aren't online real people 

Zoe: Yeah, absolutely.

And it's just like, yeah, like, as you said, like making sure that you put those boundaries in place and, um, knowing yourself and knowing what you're comfortable sharing and yeah. Oh, it's been so amazing to hear about your account and the different things that you do. Is there anything else that you would like to share about your account or different things that you're doing?

Maddy: Um,

different things that I'm doing. I mean, I have, I do have a blog, so occasionally I, you know, if, if you're in for longer form content, um, I mean, the link to that is on my Instagram page anyway, but that's just like maddygracehope. com. For writing whenever I have the time. Um, yeah, that's Maddy, like double D Y.

Um, yeah, and I mean, I, I've been in some other podcast episodes and things. There are, there are some great people out there doing awesome work in this space. And like, like yourself, and yeah, it's just really a privilege to have been asked. So, thank you. Yeah, thanks, for having me. 

Zoe: Oh, thank you so much Maddy for joining and thank you to everyone who's listened along to this episode.

Um, if you want to find out more, Maddy's mentioned a few of her things, um, that like her blog, but you can find her Instagram handle in the show notes, or you can just search Maddy Grace Hope on Instagram. Um, if you have any questions for us or for, um, For us to ask Maddie on your behalf, you can send us a message at autismtheology on X or Instagram or an email at cat@abdn.ac.uk, even if it's just to say hi or, um, yeah, to pass on a note to Maddie about this episode, we'd love to hear from you. Um, thank you so much for joining us and we look forward to sharing our next Cat Chat episode with you on the 16th of October. 

Thank you for listening to the Autism and Theology podcast. If you have any questions for us, or just want to say hi. Please email us at cat at abdn. ac. uk or find us on Twitter at AutismTheology.