MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Boise', the only podcast that realizes this city's primary exports are actually construction orange and high blood pressure. It's Tuesday, July 14, 2026, and I'm Mark, your guide through the wreckage of local civility. I'm joined by Joleen, who somehow still finds a reason to be upbeat while our infrastructure slowly melts into the asphalt. How's the heat treating your fragile sense of hope today, Joleen?

JOLEEN: Oh, it's just fucking fantastic, Mark. I love that I can fry an egg on my forehead by ten in the morning. It's that special kind of Boise summer where the air feels like a giant hair dryer set to 'abandon all hope.' But hey, at least we're not under water, right? We're just collectively roasting in a valley that's increasingly becoming a literal oven. Welcome to the show, everyone. If you're listening from your car, I hope your A.C. hasn't given up on life like most of our local politicians have. We've got a lot of shit to cover today, so grab a lukewarm water and let's get into the mess.

MARK: Before we start the descent into madness, remember you can reach us at boise@thehappeningnetwork.com if you want to complain about our tone or suggest a better brand of sunscreen. And for the love of everything holy, like, subscribe, and comment. It helps the algorithm realize we exist even if our real estate market is trying to make sure we don't. Seriously, hit that button or we're going to keep talking about property taxes until you do.

JOLEEN: Nobody wants that, Mark. That's a threat, not a promise. Alright, let's start with the top headlines because the Boise Foothills are currently trying to kill us in a very creative way. Firefighters are back on the line for the Claremont Fire, but they had a bit of a spicy surprise yesterday. They were told to stand down on Monday because of unexploded munitions in the area. Apparently, our beautiful hiking trails were once a place where people liked to blow shit up, and now the fire is finding the leftovers.

MARK: It's the classic Boise experience. You go for a scenic stroll to clear your head and you might accidentally step on a piece of World War Two history that wants to take your legs off. Crews re-engaged yesterday after the munitions threat forced a pause. It's fifty-eight percent contained now, which is better than nothing, but the investigators have confirmed it was human-caused. Because of course it was. Some dickhead probably thought it was a great time for a bonfire or a gender reveal that involves pyrotechnics in a tinderbox. We're looking at over sixty-five hundred acres scorched because someone couldn't follow basic logic.

JOLEEN: I'm shocked, Mark. Truly. Humans being the problem in the Boise Foothills? It's almost like putting a massive population center right next to a highly flammable desert environment was a bold choice. The authorities are asking for the public's help with the investigation. So, if you saw some asshole acting suspicious near Claremont last week, maybe give them a call. Or just tell us and we'll shame them on the next episode. The timeline for containment has been extended, which I'm sure the people living nearby are just thrilled about. Nothing says 'summer vibes' like the constant smell of burning sagebrush and the fear of your house becoming a charcoal briquette.

MARK: The munition thing really gets me, though. Firefighters are literally dodging bombs to save homes. Imagine your job description including 'fight fire' and 'avoid stray artillery.' That's a level of stress I'm not prepared for. While we're on the subject of things being unsafe, let's talk about the Greenbelt. It's been a rough week for the city's favorite place to pretend we're outdoorsy. We've had a murder and an attempted kidnapping, and people are rightfully losing their goddamn minds.

JOLEEN: It's incredibly grim. Javier Ortiz, a twenty-six-year-old from Ontario, was arrested for an aggravated assault and attempted kidnapping that happened Saturday night. He's being held on a million-dollar bond, which is a nice, round number for 'don't let this guy back on the streets.' He allegedly tried to snatch a woman off the path. And this comes right after the stabbing death of Jordan Harbst. The guy accused in that case, Ross Wardlaw, has a criminal record that goes back decades. It's the kind of story that makes you want to carry a bear mace-filled Super Soaker every time you go for a bike ride.

MARK: The political finger-pointing has already started, too. A couple of Idaho lawmakers sent a letter expressing 'outrage' and blaming the city. They're saying the stabbing could've been prevented. It's the classic move where people who don't live in Boise suddenly have very strong opinions on how to run it. The police held a press conference yesterday trying to reassure everyone that the Greenbelt is still safe, but you can feel the tension. When people can't even walk by the river without looking over their shoulder, the 'best place to live' marketing starts to feel a bit like a lie.

JOLEEN: The city is increasing the police presence, which I'm sure will make everyone feel much better until they see the bill for the overtime. But seriously, it's a mess. People are actually questioning if they should even go out there anymore. It's that cynical reality hitting our little bubble. We like to think we're insulated from the 'big city problems,' but here we are, dealing with million-dollar bonds and murder charges on a Tuesday. It's fucking depressing, Mark.

MARK: Speaking of depressing, let's check in on the Boise School District. They're currently caught in a fun little power struggle with the Statehouse. There's been a lot of tension over new reporting requirements for staff misconduct and whistleblower protections. The district is facing some unique problems because the legislature apparently loves to use Boise as a focal point for every new piece of oversight they can dream up. It's like the Statehouse treats the city schools like a rebellious teenager they need to ground every six months.

JOLEEN: The debate over student safety has become a total circus. Lawmakers are pushing for tighter reporting, and while that sounds good on paper, the district is basically saying 'hey, we're already doing a lot of this and you're just making it harder for us to actually function.' It's that classic Idaho government special where 'local control' is a beautiful concept until it's Boise's turn to have it. Then the legislature decides they need to micromanage every single classroom interaction. I feel for the teachers who just want to do their jobs without becoming a political football for some representative from Eagle who thinks he's the king of education.

MARK: It's a bureaucratic nightmare. They're arguing over how to handle staff misconduct, which you'd think would be a pretty straightforward 'don't be a creep' policy, but no. We have to have hearings and budget committee flare-ups. Meanwhile, the district is still trying to manage summer learning programs and deal with the fallout of that e-bike crash that killed a teen earlier this month. The community is still mourning Sterling 'Wolf' Thomas. There's a memorial at Phillippi and Morris Hill. It's a heavy time for the schools, and having the Statehouse breathe down their necks about reporting paperwork feels particularly shitty right now.

JOLEEN: And let's not forget the Galloway Law issues. The cooling centers are having a hard time because of the new camping laws. Corpus Commons, which is a literal lifesaver during this hundred-degree heatwave, is dealing with the fallout of how these laws affect people without air conditioning. So, we have a heatwave, a wildfire, and a legal system that makes it harder for the most vulnerable people to stay cool. It's a perfect storm of 'everything is awful.' I'm upbeat today, aren't I? I really brought the sunshine.

MARK: You're a ray of cynical light, Joleen. Let's pivot to something that might actually taste good to distract us. We checked out Bluebird Social recently. They've been hosting these massive World Cup watch parties. It's a 'social club' vibe, which is just a fancy way of saying they want you to pay for the privilege of being around people who also have money. But I have to admit, their outdoor screen is impressive. It's one of the few places where you can watch soccer and pretend you're in a sophisticated European city instead of a dusty valley in Idaho.

JOLEEN: The vibe is definitely 'sophisticated-adjacent.' It's the kind of place where you order a cocktail that has a sprig of something you've never heard of and costs as much as a small car payment. But honestly, the atmosphere for the games was pretty electric. If you're into soccer, it's the spot. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm 'social' enough for a 'social club,' or if I'm just a bitch who wants a beer and a good view of the screen. They're wrapping up the World Cup parties this weekend with the finals, so if you haven't been, it's worth a look before it goes back to being a place for people to network and talk about their startups.

MARK: I prefer my social interactions to involve as little 'networking' as possible, but for a big match, it works. Speaking of sports, AC Boise is actually killing it. They got their third shutout in the last four games this past Saturday night. They beat Sacramento Republic FC, which is a solid USL Championship team. For an expansion side, they're playing with a level of defensive discipline that makes me think they're actually paying attention to their coach, Nate Miller. They're sitting at seven-six-and-three right now. It's nice to have a team in town that doesn't just lose and make us feel worse about our lives.

JOLEEN: Jake Crull has been a beast in the backfield. He's an Austrian guy who ended up in Boise, and he says he's 'living the dream.' I love that 'the dream' involves moving from Europe to Idaho to play soccer in ninety-eight-degree weather. That's some serious commitment. But hey, they're winning. They've locked in three straight wins against USL Championship teams, which is a massive statement. If you're looking for a reason to feel proud of Boise, this is probably your best bet right now. Just don't look at the traffic on the way to the stadium.

MARK: And we can't talk about sports without mentioning the Boise Hawks. It's a big week at Memorial Stadium because Blitz the Bat Dog is retiring. His big celebration is this Saturday, July 18th. He's been the fan favorite for years, and they're doing a whole thing--fireworks, figurines, the works. It's a bit ridiculous that a dog has a better retirement plan and a more dedicated fanbase than most of us, but I can't even be mad at him. He's a good boy. He's done his time, and he's going out on top.

JOLEEN: He really is the MVP. If you don't like Blitz, you're an asshole. Plain and simple. I'm definitely going to that game just to see him take his final lap around the bases. It's at 7:05 PM, so hopefully it's cooled down to a manageable ninety-five degrees by then. They're also playing the Idaho Falls Chukars for the Highway Series, which is always a good time if you like watching people from different parts of Idaho try to prove who's less mediocre at baseball. But seriously, go for the dog. Stay for the fireworks. Forget about the fire in the foothills for five minutes.

MARK: The Chukars rivalry is real, mostly because there's nothing else to do in Idaho Falls besides argue about whose potatoes are better. But let's look at the roads, because you're going to have a hell of a time getting to that game. State Street is still a disaster area. It's like the construction crews are playing a game of 'how many cones can we fit in a square mile before someone has a nervous breakdown.' Between the State Street expansion and the ongoing mess on Shoreline Drive, driving in this city has become a test of religious faith. You just have to believe you'll eventually reach your destination.

JOLEEN: I'm convinced the orange cones are actually a sentient species that's slowly taking over the valley. They don't represent progress; they represent our collective punishment for wanting to move from point A to point B. And with the heat, the road rage is at an all-time high. I saw a guy yesterday screaming at a flagger like it was the flagger's personal mission to make him late for his meeting at Zions Bank. We're all on edge, and the construction is the cherry on top of this shit-sundae.

MARK: It's not helping the real estate market, either. People are still talking about the 'mathematical trap' for workers. Housing costs are still outpacing wages, and even though inventory is technically up because nobody wants to move in this heat, prices aren't dropping fast enough to matter. It's a great time to be a landlord and a terrible time to be a human being with a standard salary. I saw a 'fixer-upper' the other day that was basically a shed with a fancy mailbox, and they wanted half a million for it. It's insulting.

JOLEEN: It really is. The only people buying right now are the ones who just sold a closet in San Francisco for two million and think Boise is a 'steal.' Meanwhile, the locals are looking at their bank accounts and wondering if they can live in a tent on the Greenbelt--oh wait, they can't because of the new camping laws. It's a closed loop of misery. But hey, Alaska Airlines just announced a new direct flight to Honolulu starting in December. So, if you can survive the next five months of heat and construction, you can fly away to an island where the housing is somehow even more expensive than here. Progress!

MARK: I'm already booking my seat. I'll live on the beach and tell people I'm from a mythical land where the grass is yellow and the hills are filled with unexploded bombs. They'll love it. But let's check the weather for this week, because 'waiting for December' isn't a viable strategy for today. According to the National Weather Service, we're looking at a high of ninety-two this afternoon. That's the 'cool' day, by the way. It gets much worse from here.

JOLEEN: Oh, it's a real treat, Mark. Tomorrow, Wednesday, we hit ninety-eight. Then Thursday, we're staring down a high of one-hundred-and-three. That's not just hot; that's 'your skin is a medium-rare steak' hot. Friday and Saturday are both sitting at an even hundred. Sunday is another hundred. Monday is one-hundred-and-one. It's a straight week of triple digits. If you were planning on doing anything outdoors, maybe don't. Or do it at 4 AM when it's a brisk sixty-seven degrees. Otherwise, you're just asking for heatstroke and a very expensive ambulance ride.

MARK: I love how we report 'one hundred' like it's a normal thing now. It's like we've collectively accepted that we live on the surface of the sun. The only silver lining is that it's 'sunny' every day. No rain, no clouds, just the relentless, unforgiving glare of the star that's trying to evaporate our groundwater. There's a slight chance of rain showers next Monday night, but by then we'll all be piles of salt anyway, so it won't really matter. Stay hydrated, people. And if you see a cooling center, just walk in and stay there until October.

JOLEEN: Seriously, check on your neighbors, especially the older ones who think they can 'tough it out.' This isn't the year to be a hero. It's the year to sit in front of a fan with a bag of frozen peas on your neck. Now, if you're looking for things to do this weekend despite the impending heat death of the universe, the Weekend Guide has some gems. We already mentioned Blitz the Bat Dog's retirement on Saturday. That's the big one. There's also the World Cup watch parties at Bluebird Social--the final is this Sunday, so that's going to be a massive crowd.

MARK: If you're feeling particularly athletic or masochistic, the IRONMAN 70.3 is coming up on the twenty-fifth, so you'll probably see people training downtown this weekend. They'll be the ones looking much fitter and more determined than the rest of us. Personally, I'll be supporting them from the comfort of a darkened room with a very large iced coffee. There's also the 'Floating Sound Bath' at Idaho River Sports on the twenty-fifth if you want to plan ahead. Nothing says 'Boise' like paying thirty-five dollars to lay on a paddleboard while someone hits a gong. I'm sure it's very relaxing if you don't fall in and get a face full of E. coli from the ponds.

JOLEEN: Speaking of the ponds, watch out for the warning signs at Esther Simplot Park. Pond One has high E. coli levels again. It's like a summer tradition at this point. 'Come for the sun, stay for the gastrointestinal distress.' It's really the full Boise experience. So, maybe skip the swimming and just stick to the soccer and the bat dog. It's safer for everyone involved. And don't forget the Boise Hawks figurines they're giving away on Saturday. Nothing immortalizes a bat dog like a small piece of plastic you'll eventually lose behind your dresser.

MARK: I'll take three. One for me, and two for my inevitable breakdown when I see my next electricity bill from running the A.C. twenty-four-seven. That's about all we have for this week's update of the 'City of Trees and Troubles.' We'll be back next Tuesday to see if the city has finally melted into a puddle or if we've found more bombs in the foothills. It's a fifty-fifty shot at this point.

JOLEEN: Can't wait. Remember to send your hate mail and restaurant recommendations to boise@thehappeningnetwork.com. We actually read them, mostly so we can laugh at your typos. Like, subscribe, and tell your friends. Or don't, if you want to keep us a secret so the Californians don't find out we're actually this miserable. See you next week, Boise. Try not to die in the heat.

MARK: Seriously, don't die. It's bad for our listener metrics. Goodbye, everyone.