WEBVTT 00:00:02.580 --> 00:00:07.720 - Welcome to the Willow Ridge Sermons Podcast. 00:00:07.720 --> 00:00:09.240 This is where you can find audio 00:00:09.240 --> 00:00:11.480 from Sunday morning messages and more. 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:12.760 Make sure you're subscribed 00:00:12.760 --> 00:00:14.680 so that you don't miss future episodes 00:00:14.680 --> 00:00:15.920 and thanks for listening. 00:00:18.500 --> 00:00:25.080 - I invite you to join us in Genesis chapter 30. 00:00:25.080 --> 00:00:29.080 We're gonna start here in verse 25 in just a moment. 00:00:29.080 --> 00:00:32.480 Today, it is our goal, we are gonna cover all the way 00:00:32.480 --> 00:00:35.680 through the end of Genesis chapter 31. 00:00:35.680 --> 00:00:38.600 We've been working through Genesis now 00:00:38.600 --> 00:00:40.320 for quite some time together 00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:42.040 and we're working through it in a way 00:00:42.040 --> 00:00:45.720 where we are going word by word, verse by verse. 00:00:45.720 --> 00:00:47.320 And I'm glad that we're doing that. 00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:49.960 I feel like it is stretching us, 00:00:49.960 --> 00:00:52.900 but it causes us in committing to do that, 00:00:52.900 --> 00:00:54.680 to maybe work through some passages, 00:00:54.680 --> 00:00:57.560 work through some verses that would maybe be natural for us 00:00:57.560 --> 00:01:01.160 just to breeze through or to skim by because of the topic 00:01:01.160 --> 00:01:03.320 or because of what they're dealing with. 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:06.480 This morning's passage, I want to quite frankly with you, 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:09.240 may have been one of those passages you're reading through. 00:01:09.240 --> 00:01:11.240 It's one of those that we oftentimes find 00:01:11.240 --> 00:01:13.600 that we may be a little bit less familiar with 00:01:13.600 --> 00:01:16.540 and so we wanna make sure that we take some time with that. 00:01:16.540 --> 00:01:20.040 This morning, as we look at Genesis 30, 25 through 31, 00:01:20.040 --> 00:01:23.400 we're gonna look at it and talk about the difference 00:01:23.400 --> 00:01:27.960 between toxic people and godly people. 00:01:27.960 --> 00:01:31.120 My goal is to finish today. 00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:34.480 Those that have been kind of working with me this week 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:36.440 kind of maybe chuckle at that. 00:01:36.440 --> 00:01:38.280 My goal is for this to be a part one 00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:40.880 and we're gonna move to part two or not have a part two, 00:01:40.880 --> 00:01:42.560 but I don't know that we're gonna be able to do that. 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:44.840 So this week's message may be divided 00:01:44.840 --> 00:01:48.040 between this week and next week. 00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:50.200 To kind of give you, if you're a note taker, all right? 00:01:50.200 --> 00:01:51.360 I know some of you are, 00:01:51.360 --> 00:01:53.240 you bring your journal in here with you. 00:01:53.240 --> 00:01:55.920 My daughter is definitely one of those. 00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:58.240 Normally, it's like a three to five points 00:01:58.240 --> 00:01:59.640 and we kind of work through. 00:01:59.640 --> 00:02:04.640 Today's message, this is my record, I believe, 37 points 00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:07.640 as we're gonna work through this passage of scripture 00:02:07.640 --> 00:02:09.680 with most of them, not most of them, 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:12.180 with all of them kind of happening on the back third, 00:02:12.180 --> 00:02:13.020 all right? 00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:15.760 So different for me, I appreciate your prayers 00:02:15.760 --> 00:02:20.760 as we do this, as we look at toxic people and godly people. 00:02:22.920 --> 00:02:27.920 We're gonna take our time and work through this passage. 00:02:27.920 --> 00:02:31.640 And we need to understand that it's gonna take us 00:02:31.640 --> 00:02:35.080 a large majority of the message to work through 00:02:35.080 --> 00:02:36.860 what is exactly happening, 00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:41.860 because it is a relational tangled mess. 00:02:41.860 --> 00:02:46.000 One of the things, as a pastor, you do a lot of counseling 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.840 and people will call and say, 00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:49.760 I would like to sit down and talk with you 00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:52.720 and there's a laundry list of items 00:02:52.720 --> 00:02:54.440 that you need to talk through, 00:02:54.440 --> 00:02:56.240 that I need to have people in my life 00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:58.640 to be able to talk through issues that I'm facing, 00:02:58.640 --> 00:03:00.640 that I'm going through as well. 00:03:00.640 --> 00:03:05.640 And one of the most topics that take the most time to unpack 00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:08.160 are family dynamics. 00:03:08.160 --> 00:03:11.280 Family dynamics get really, really complicated 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:12.800 really, really quickly. 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:14.920 And we see all throughout scripture, 00:03:14.920 --> 00:03:18.040 we see the difference in these family dynamics 00:03:18.040 --> 00:03:21.440 and we're going to find that here. 00:03:21.440 --> 00:03:24.040 Here's kind of a precursor before we get into this 00:03:24.040 --> 00:03:27.440 that I want us to understand when dealing with a topic 00:03:27.440 --> 00:03:31.520 like toxic people or toxic relationships. 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:33.960 I don't know that 20 years ago, 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:37.120 you would have heard that phrase used 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:41.160 with toxic people or toxic relationships, 00:03:41.160 --> 00:03:44.200 but it is definitely a term or terms 00:03:44.200 --> 00:03:48.000 that we find used in this day and age. 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:51.200 And so I want to set some ground rules for all of us 00:03:51.200 --> 00:03:54.120 because you, when the moment I said toxic people, 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:56.960 if you were like me, like you've already got your list, 00:03:56.960 --> 00:04:01.880 right, like Bo's gonna help me deal with them. 00:04:01.880 --> 00:04:03.640 So I want to set some ground rules. 00:04:03.640 --> 00:04:05.960 I want to set some ground rules so that you and I 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:08.720 are trusting and depending on the Holy Spirit 00:04:08.720 --> 00:04:10.220 to lead us through this conversation 00:04:10.220 --> 00:04:11.560 that we are having today. 00:04:11.560 --> 00:04:13.360 First is this, here's what we know, 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:14.520 here's what we're gonna agree to, 00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:16.800 that this is a matter of the heart. 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:17.920 When we deal with toxic people, 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:20.080 this is going to be a matter of the heart. 00:04:20.080 --> 00:04:21.280 I see some of you writing this down. 00:04:21.280 --> 00:04:23.120 This isn't even one of the 37, all right? 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:26.240 This is a matter of the heart, 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:29.040 not just a matter of behavior. 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:33.060 Number two that we get into this, again, not one of the 37. 00:04:33.060 --> 00:04:39.280 Not all or even most lost people would I say are toxic. 00:04:39.280 --> 00:04:43.660 So this isn't blaming lost people 00:04:43.660 --> 00:04:48.260 for the toxic nature of all relationships. 00:04:48.260 --> 00:04:51.060 And I especially want you to hear that if you're here today 00:04:51.060 --> 00:04:53.780 and you're not a follower of Jesus Christ 00:04:53.780 --> 00:04:55.200 and you're trying to learn what it means 00:04:55.200 --> 00:04:56.380 to follow Jesus Christ 00:04:56.380 --> 00:04:58.620 and what a relationship with him looks like. 00:04:58.620 --> 00:05:01.220 Like this message, even though Laban, 00:05:01.220 --> 00:05:02.260 the character we're gonna look at, 00:05:02.260 --> 00:05:04.120 he is not a follower of God, 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:06.340 is not going to be to blame you 00:05:06.340 --> 00:05:08.660 or people who do not follow Christ 00:05:08.660 --> 00:05:12.300 as the reason for all aspects of toxic relationships. 00:05:12.300 --> 00:05:15.860 In fact, what we are going to see in just a moment 00:05:15.860 --> 00:05:17.940 is that some, this is the third thing, 00:05:17.940 --> 00:05:21.660 is that even some people who claim faith in Christ 00:05:21.660 --> 00:05:26.660 and can honestly have a real legitimate saving faith 00:05:26.660 --> 00:05:32.100 in Christ can be toxic 00:05:32.100 --> 00:05:37.060 and they can have toxic traits as well. 00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:41.500 So this isn't like a lost people versus saved people. 00:05:41.500 --> 00:05:44.260 And all of us saved people got it figured out 00:05:44.260 --> 00:05:45.780 and none of you lost people. 00:05:45.780 --> 00:05:47.100 You're all just part of the problem. 00:05:47.100 --> 00:05:49.700 That's not it at all. 00:05:49.700 --> 00:05:51.540 What we'll find, and this is what I hope, 00:05:51.540 --> 00:05:53.200 and this is the beautiful journey, 00:05:53.200 --> 00:05:55.420 the beautifully difficult journey that God took me on, 00:05:55.420 --> 00:06:00.260 is this week was an examination of my heart as well 00:06:00.260 --> 00:06:03.700 and examining some toxic traits within myself 00:06:03.700 --> 00:06:05.180 that I need to deal with, 00:06:05.180 --> 00:06:06.220 which brings us to the fourth thing 00:06:06.220 --> 00:06:07.940 that I want us to get to, right? 00:06:07.940 --> 00:06:11.060 Even for toxic people, there's God's grace. 00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:14.500 Even for toxic people, there's God's grace, all right? 00:06:14.500 --> 00:06:18.380 You may think God's grace is so good and so wonderful. 00:06:18.380 --> 00:06:21.260 And the hope of this for all of us, 00:06:21.260 --> 00:06:23.080 of what we're working toward, 00:06:23.080 --> 00:06:26.780 is the forgiveness that comes in Christ alone, right? 00:06:26.780 --> 00:06:28.300 So if you're here this morning 00:06:28.300 --> 00:06:30.540 and you feel like maybe you're struggling 00:06:30.540 --> 00:06:34.180 with some toxic issues in your own life, in your own walk, 00:06:34.180 --> 00:06:37.220 maybe you will see that even for toxic people 00:06:37.220 --> 00:06:40.060 or with toxic traits, there is God's grace. 00:06:40.060 --> 00:06:44.860 So what do I mean when I use the word toxic 00:06:44.860 --> 00:06:46.740 to describe a person? 00:06:46.740 --> 00:06:48.460 It's one of those dangerous journeys 00:06:48.460 --> 00:06:50.940 that Google can take you down, right? 00:06:50.940 --> 00:06:53.460 What is toxic? 00:06:53.460 --> 00:06:56.060 And everybody that can create a website 00:06:56.060 --> 00:06:57.940 or anyone that can write an article 00:06:57.940 --> 00:07:00.260 can come up with their own definition. 00:07:00.260 --> 00:07:01.700 Here's what I do believe. 00:07:01.700 --> 00:07:05.160 I do believe we can't just label people as toxic 00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:06.620 because we don't like them 00:07:06.620 --> 00:07:09.060 or because we disagree with them, right? 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:12.980 Like we, there's some people in your life 00:07:12.980 --> 00:07:16.180 that relationally, you clash. 00:07:16.180 --> 00:07:18.660 They see things differently than you see them. 00:07:18.660 --> 00:07:22.260 You have a tendency to butt heads. 00:07:22.260 --> 00:07:24.860 You and I can't just say, 00:07:24.860 --> 00:07:27.100 because relationally I don't like you 00:07:27.100 --> 00:07:30.380 or because we disagree with you that they're toxic. 00:07:30.380 --> 00:07:32.960 There has to be more than that. 00:07:32.960 --> 00:07:36.780 So if anyone can create a definition, I created my own. 00:07:36.780 --> 00:07:37.800 Here we go. 00:07:37.800 --> 00:07:40.300 Toxic people, what we're gonna look at with scripture 00:07:40.300 --> 00:07:43.980 is this, toxic people seek to either directly, 00:07:43.980 --> 00:07:48.180 so aggressively, or indirectly, so passively, 00:07:48.180 --> 00:07:51.260 control the dynamic of a relationship 00:07:51.260 --> 00:07:54.820 so that their agenda can be met. 00:07:54.820 --> 00:07:59.020 Even if that means deterring others 00:07:59.020 --> 00:08:02.580 from following God's will. 00:08:02.580 --> 00:08:07.580 Oftentimes, a non-toxic person in a relationship 00:08:07.840 --> 00:08:12.240 with a toxic person will feel exhausted, 00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:16.880 frustrated, and can even feel depressed 00:08:16.880 --> 00:08:20.280 as what is being attacked in that relationship 00:08:20.280 --> 00:08:23.120 is their own peace. 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:27.520 Both their peace with God and their peace with others. 00:08:27.520 --> 00:08:32.520 So a toxic person, someone looking to control the dynamic, 00:08:32.520 --> 00:08:35.320 and this is what we're gonna see with Laban this morning. 00:08:35.320 --> 00:08:37.940 Someone who is working their agenda. 00:08:37.940 --> 00:08:42.100 Someone who says, I have control. 00:08:42.100 --> 00:08:47.100 Someone who sees people as a means to an end. 00:08:47.100 --> 00:08:52.820 So this, in Genesis 30, starting in verse 25, 00:08:52.820 --> 00:08:56.060 this is our case study of toxic people 00:08:56.060 --> 00:08:59.620 by looking at the actions in the heart of Laban. 00:08:59.620 --> 00:09:01.060 So let's jump in right there. 00:09:01.060 --> 00:09:04.260 Genesis chapter 30, starting in verse 25. 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:10.240 "As soon as Rachel had born Joseph, Jacob said to Laban," 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:13.200 so son-in-law says to father-in-law, 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:18.200 "Send me away that I may go to my own home and country. 00:09:18.200 --> 00:09:20.800 Give me my wives and my children 00:09:20.800 --> 00:09:23.060 for whom I have served you, 00:09:23.060 --> 00:09:26.120 that I may go for you know the service 00:09:26.120 --> 00:09:27.800 that I have given you. 00:09:27.800 --> 00:09:29.440 But Laban said to him, 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:32.160 'If I have found favor in your sight, 00:09:32.160 --> 00:09:34.080 I have learned by divine nation.'" 00:09:34.080 --> 00:09:37.860 Now this is the revelation of spirits to Laban, 00:09:37.860 --> 00:09:39.860 but not the revelation of God, okay? 00:09:39.860 --> 00:09:41.660 Laban is not a follower of God. 00:09:41.660 --> 00:09:47.100 And he will use some God terms and phrases through this. 00:09:47.100 --> 00:09:47.940 All right? 00:09:47.940 --> 00:09:52.540 "That the Lord has blessed me because of you. 00:09:52.540 --> 00:09:55.460 Name your wages and I will give it to you. 00:09:55.460 --> 00:09:56.940 And Jacob said to him, 00:09:56.940 --> 00:09:59.620 'You yourself know how I have served you 00:09:59.620 --> 00:10:02.220 and how your livestock has fared with me, 00:10:02.220 --> 00:10:05.000 for you had little before I came 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:07.840 and it has increased abundantly 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:11.380 and the Lord has blessed you wherever I turn. 00:10:11.380 --> 00:10:16.380 But now when shall I provide for my own household also?'" 00:10:16.380 --> 00:10:20.320 So Jacob comes to his father-in-law, 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:22.320 who we'll understand as we read through this, 00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:27.240 has lied to Jacob for at least the last 20 years. 00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:28.300 If you go back and look, 00:10:28.300 --> 00:10:30.460 you see that in the deceit of his wedding, 00:10:30.460 --> 00:10:31.860 of what happened. 00:10:31.860 --> 00:10:34.340 He's lied to him, he's tricked him. 00:10:34.340 --> 00:10:36.440 There's been deceit from everything, 00:10:36.440 --> 00:10:39.660 from his marriages to his wages. 00:10:39.660 --> 00:10:42.020 And Jacob says to his father-in-law, 00:10:42.020 --> 00:10:45.700 "It's time for me to return to my home, 00:10:45.700 --> 00:10:49.220 to return to my people, to return to my country." 00:10:49.220 --> 00:10:51.060 Now here's where the tension's gonna come. 00:10:51.060 --> 00:10:53.180 Laban, not a follower of God. 00:10:53.180 --> 00:10:55.020 Jacob is a follower of God. 00:10:55.020 --> 00:10:58.140 Jacob is gonna seek to do what God calls him to do. 00:10:58.140 --> 00:11:01.500 Laban is gonna seek to do what Laban wants to do. 00:11:01.500 --> 00:11:03.380 And Laban's gonna seek to get Jacob 00:11:03.380 --> 00:11:05.280 to do what Laban wants to do. 00:11:05.280 --> 00:11:11.820 So Laban will not want Jacob to follow God. 00:11:11.820 --> 00:11:13.220 Now here's the deal with Jacob, 00:11:13.220 --> 00:11:14.260 and if you've been journeying through this, 00:11:14.260 --> 00:11:15.080 here's what we know, man. 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:17.100 He may not always have the right behavior, 00:11:17.100 --> 00:11:18.880 the right decision-making ability, 00:11:18.880 --> 00:11:21.060 but the truth in this is he has a heart for God 00:11:21.060 --> 00:11:24.000 and he desires to seek to follow him. 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.260 Now here's the problem for Laban. 00:11:26.260 --> 00:11:27.900 This is why Laban isn't excited 00:11:27.900 --> 00:11:30.580 to get the son-in-law out of the house. 00:11:30.580 --> 00:11:34.660 Jacob has been a huge benefit for him, 00:11:34.660 --> 00:11:36.640 especially financially. 00:11:36.640 --> 00:11:40.380 So he tells Jacob, this is why he says, 00:11:40.380 --> 00:11:42.780 "The Lord has blessed me." 00:11:42.780 --> 00:11:46.140 So he tells Jacob, "Name your wage 00:11:46.140 --> 00:11:48.380 "and I will give it to you," 00:11:48.380 --> 00:11:50.840 in hopes that Jacob will stay. 00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:51.940 But here's the deal. 00:11:51.940 --> 00:11:55.740 Imagine, imagine working for your in-laws, 00:11:55.740 --> 00:11:58.980 the conflict, the issues, the stress that's there. 00:11:58.980 --> 00:12:02.980 But on top of that, Jacob's never been paid a dime. 00:12:02.980 --> 00:12:09.100 20 years, working for your father-in-law, no money. 00:12:09.100 --> 00:12:12.240 A little stressful, right? 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:13.580 Jacob says, "Look, when I got here, 00:12:13.580 --> 00:12:18.060 "you had little, now you have much. 00:12:18.060 --> 00:12:20.780 "I need to be thinking about my own family." 00:12:20.780 --> 00:12:22.380 Right, this is commendable from Jacob. 00:12:22.380 --> 00:12:23.220 Verse 31. 00:12:23.220 --> 00:12:28.780 And he said, this is Laban, "What shall I give you?" 00:12:28.780 --> 00:12:31.480 Jacob said, "You shall not give me anything. 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:32.700 "If you will do this for me, 00:12:32.700 --> 00:12:35.980 "I will again pastor your flock and keep it. 00:12:35.980 --> 00:12:37.720 "Let me pastor your flock today, 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:40.380 "removing every speckled and spotted sheep 00:12:40.380 --> 00:12:41.860 "and every black lamb, 00:12:41.860 --> 00:12:44.480 "and the spotted and speckled among the goats, 00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:46.560 "and they shall be my wages. 00:12:46.560 --> 00:12:48.700 "So my honesty will answer for me later, 00:12:48.700 --> 00:12:52.920 "when you come, look into my wage with you, 00:12:52.920 --> 00:12:55.320 "everyone that is not speckled and spotted 00:12:55.320 --> 00:12:57.780 "among the goats and the black among the lambs, 00:12:57.780 --> 00:13:01.620 "if found with me shall be counted stolen." 00:13:01.620 --> 00:13:03.620 Laban said, "Good, let it be as you have said." 00:13:03.620 --> 00:13:06.300 But that day, Laban removed the male goats 00:13:06.300 --> 00:13:07.580 that were striped and spotted, 00:13:07.580 --> 00:13:11.100 and on the female goats that were speckled and spotted, 00:13:11.100 --> 00:13:12.620 everyone that had white on it, 00:13:12.620 --> 00:13:13.980 and every lamb that was black, 00:13:13.980 --> 00:13:17.100 and put them in the charge of his sons. 00:13:17.100 --> 00:13:19.980 And he set the distance of three days journey 00:13:19.980 --> 00:13:22.420 between himself and Jacob. 00:13:22.420 --> 00:13:25.640 And Jacob pastored the rest of Laban's flock. 00:13:25.640 --> 00:13:29.100 So Laban says, "What can I do to get you to stay?" 00:13:29.100 --> 00:13:32.240 And Jacob wisely says, "You can't give me anything." 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:35.300 So Jacob says, "Release me, and if you wanna do this, 00:13:35.300 --> 00:13:37.320 "let me work for you for a time, 00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:39.140 "and during this time that I'm looking 00:13:39.140 --> 00:13:40.280 "to get everything together, 00:13:40.280 --> 00:13:42.160 "I'm gonna work the flocks, right? 00:13:42.160 --> 00:13:44.340 "I'm gonna leave you all of the best. 00:13:44.340 --> 00:13:45.220 "I'm gonna leave you all, 00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:47.920 "you say that it's because of me that you've been blessed, 00:13:47.920 --> 00:13:49.640 "man, I'm gonna leave you all the blessed, 00:13:49.640 --> 00:13:51.660 "all the top-selling members of the flock, 00:13:51.660 --> 00:13:53.800 "and I'm gonna take for myself, right, 00:13:53.800 --> 00:13:56.020 "as what I need to get established with my family 00:13:56.020 --> 00:13:58.180 "of what I'm doing, I'm gonna take my share 00:13:58.180 --> 00:13:59.540 "for all of this work, right, 00:13:59.540 --> 00:14:02.240 "those members of the flock that are not valuable. 00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:05.640 "So give me the ones that you're not gonna want anyways, 00:14:05.640 --> 00:14:09.620 "and then I'm gonna take those, trust in God, 00:14:09.620 --> 00:14:11.940 "God's gonna work, God's gonna move." 00:14:11.940 --> 00:14:15.240 And Laban says, "Okay, all right, 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:16.080 "you want what's worthless, 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:18.420 "I'll let you have what's worthless, cool." 00:14:18.420 --> 00:14:20.500 And then he cheats the system. 00:14:20.500 --> 00:14:23.180 And he takes those and he gives those to his sons. 00:14:23.180 --> 00:14:25.180 Now get this, get this in Laban, 00:14:25.180 --> 00:14:26.820 and understand this with toxic people, 00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:28.940 we're gonna see this, Laban cheating Jacob, right, 00:14:28.940 --> 00:14:31.300 this is not just that he and his son-in-law 00:14:31.300 --> 00:14:34.420 do not get along, right, Laban is cheating his daughters. 00:14:34.420 --> 00:14:37.100 He's cheating his grandchildren. 00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:40.740 He's cheating those that should be precious, 00:14:40.740 --> 00:14:42.100 that should be special to him. 00:14:42.100 --> 00:14:45.100 You see, this is not just involving a son-in-law 00:14:45.100 --> 00:14:48.220 and a father-in-law who don't get along. 00:14:48.220 --> 00:14:51.260 We see the depravity that this is. 00:14:51.260 --> 00:14:52.260 Look at verse 37. 00:14:53.260 --> 00:14:56.580 "Then Jacob took fresh sticks of poplar and almond 00:14:56.580 --> 00:14:58.860 "and plain trees and peeled white streaks in them, 00:14:58.860 --> 00:15:01.400 "exposing the white of the sticks. 00:15:01.400 --> 00:15:02.700 "He set the sticks that he had peeled 00:15:02.700 --> 00:15:04.660 "in front of the flocks and the troughs," 00:15:04.660 --> 00:15:08.120 that is the watering place where the flocks came to drink. 00:15:08.120 --> 00:15:10.680 "And since they bred when they came to drink, 00:15:10.680 --> 00:15:12.840 "the flocks bred in front of the sticks, 00:15:12.840 --> 00:15:14.800 "and so the flocks brought forth stripe, 00:15:14.800 --> 00:15:16.680 "speckled, and spotted. 00:15:16.680 --> 00:15:18.520 "And Jacob separated the lambs 00:15:18.520 --> 00:15:20.840 "and set the faces of the flock toward the stripe 00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:23.120 "and all the black in the flock of Laban. 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:24.680 "He put his own droves apart 00:15:24.680 --> 00:15:27.360 "and did not put them with Laban's flock. 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:29.100 "Whenever the stronger of the flock were breeding, 00:15:29.100 --> 00:15:30.860 "Jacob would lay the sticks in the troughs 00:15:30.860 --> 00:15:32.800 "before the eyes of the flock 00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:34.860 "that they might breed among the sticks. 00:15:34.860 --> 00:15:36.060 "But for the feebler of the flock, 00:15:36.060 --> 00:15:37.120 "he would not lay them there." 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:41.180 So the feebler would be Laban's and the stronger, Jacob's. 00:15:41.180 --> 00:15:44.300 "Thus the man increased greatly and had large flocks, 00:15:44.300 --> 00:15:48.200 "female servants and male servants, and camels and donkeys." 00:15:48.200 --> 00:15:50.320 So I'm not a shepherd. 00:15:50.920 --> 00:15:52.100 Right? 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:55.140 Not fully sure what's going on with all this. 00:15:55.140 --> 00:15:56.840 But here's what we can say. 00:15:56.840 --> 00:15:58.200 Laban's like, "I'm gonna get you." 00:15:58.200 --> 00:15:59.400 Jacob's wiser than that. 00:15:59.400 --> 00:16:00.460 Jacob sees it, like, "No, no, no, no. 00:16:00.460 --> 00:16:01.600 "Watch what I'm gonna do." 00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:02.440 Right? 00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:03.680 And he tricked him. 00:16:03.680 --> 00:16:04.520 He tricked him. 00:16:04.520 --> 00:16:06.320 Laban thought he would win, 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:09.880 yet Jacob ends up being the one in this that wins. 00:16:09.880 --> 00:16:11.000 Jacob had said, "Let me have the weak. 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:12.120 "You have the strong." 00:16:12.120 --> 00:16:13.320 Laban said, "Okay." 00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:15.920 Then Jacob said, then Laban said, "No, no, no, no. 00:16:15.920 --> 00:16:18.200 "I'm gonna take the strong and I'm gonna take the weak." 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:19.460 So Jacob ends up with the strong. 00:16:19.460 --> 00:16:21.160 Laban ends up with the weak. 00:16:21.160 --> 00:16:23.000 Jacob ends up increasing his assets. 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:24.240 Laban does not. 00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:25.840 How do you think that's gonna go over? 00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:27.920 Verse, chapter 31, verse one. 00:16:27.920 --> 00:16:33.080 Now Jacob heard that the sons of Laban were saying, 00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:35.600 "Jacob has taken all that was our father's, 00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:37.480 "and from what was our own father's, 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:39.840 "he has gained all this wealth." 00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:42.600 And Jacob saw that Laban did not regard him 00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:44.240 with favor as before. 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:46.240 Then the Lord said to Jacob, this is important, 00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:48.000 this is, in my notes, this is bold, 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.040 underlined italics right here. 00:16:50.040 --> 00:16:53.460 The Lord said to Jacob, "Return to the land of your fathers 00:16:53.460 --> 00:16:56.800 "and to your kindred, and I will be with you." 00:16:56.800 --> 00:17:00.680 Right, so Laban communicates to his sons 00:17:00.680 --> 00:17:02.900 not what he did, but what Jacob had stolen. 00:17:02.900 --> 00:17:04.900 That was Laban's and his perspective, 00:17:04.900 --> 00:17:07.740 and now it's time for Laban to rally the family. 00:17:07.740 --> 00:17:09.700 Right, they're in the text message group. 00:17:09.700 --> 00:17:12.380 You're not gonna believe what he did. 00:17:12.380 --> 00:17:14.220 He's taking advantage of your dad. 00:17:14.220 --> 00:17:17.380 Jacob gets word, he sees the writing on the wall, 00:17:17.380 --> 00:17:18.580 but this is important too. 00:17:18.580 --> 00:17:20.740 Jacob heard from God. 00:17:22.900 --> 00:17:25.300 It's not just about listening to you 00:17:25.300 --> 00:17:28.660 in the matter of these relationships. 00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:30.900 It's about listening to God. 00:17:30.900 --> 00:17:33.500 God did speak. 00:17:33.500 --> 00:17:37.980 Yes, equally important, Jacob was listening. 00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:40.100 When you and I, when we face these circumstances 00:17:40.100 --> 00:17:42.820 in your life, the question is not to turn inward 00:17:42.820 --> 00:17:45.460 and to look at myself, and how does this make me feel, 00:17:45.460 --> 00:17:48.300 and what do I need to do, and how do I need to respond, 00:17:48.300 --> 00:17:49.540 and what needs to happen. 00:17:49.540 --> 00:17:51.060 Our response in these matters, 00:17:51.060 --> 00:17:53.700 we gotta take ourself out of the situation 00:17:53.700 --> 00:17:56.420 and look and say, "God, what do you have for me?" 00:17:56.420 --> 00:17:58.540 And God is very clear. 00:17:58.540 --> 00:18:01.420 Return to the land of your fathers, to your kindred. 00:18:01.420 --> 00:18:03.340 I will be with you. 00:18:03.340 --> 00:18:04.940 That's the confidence in the journey 00:18:04.940 --> 00:18:06.980 that we're about to see. 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:10.600 Not in his own ability, not in what he can do, 00:18:10.600 --> 00:18:14.340 but what God can do, and trusting what God is going to do. 00:18:14.340 --> 00:18:18.460 Verse four, "So Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah." 00:18:18.460 --> 00:18:21.740 If you haven't been with us, these are two of his wives. 00:18:21.740 --> 00:18:24.020 They're sisters, it's complicated, all right? 00:18:24.020 --> 00:18:27.060 "So Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah into the field 00:18:27.060 --> 00:18:29.140 "where his flock was and said to them, 00:18:29.140 --> 00:18:32.100 "I see that your father does not regard me with favor 00:18:32.100 --> 00:18:35.120 "as he did before, but the God of my father 00:18:35.120 --> 00:18:36.120 "has been with me. 00:18:36.120 --> 00:18:38.080 "You know that I have served your father 00:18:38.080 --> 00:18:41.580 "with all my strength, yet your father has cheated me 00:18:41.580 --> 00:18:44.160 "and changed my wages 10 times. 00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:46.440 "But God did not permit him to harm me. 00:18:46.440 --> 00:18:49.200 "If he said the spotted shall be your wages, 00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:51.060 "then all the flock bore spotted. 00:18:51.060 --> 00:18:53.140 "And if he said the stripe shall be your wages, 00:18:53.140 --> 00:18:55.000 "then all the flock bore stripe. 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:58.140 "Thus God has taken away the livestock of your father 00:18:58.140 --> 00:18:59.760 "and given them to me. 00:18:59.760 --> 00:19:01.400 "In the breeding season of the flock, 00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:03.520 "I lifted up my eyes and saw in a dream 00:19:03.520 --> 00:19:04.960 "that the goats that mated with the flock 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:07.320 "for stripes spotted, molted. 00:19:07.320 --> 00:19:09.600 "Then the angel of God said to me in a dream, 00:19:09.600 --> 00:19:11.320 "Jacob, I said, here I am. 00:19:11.320 --> 00:19:13.340 "And he said, lift up your eyes and see 00:19:13.340 --> 00:19:15.320 "that all the goats that mate with the flock 00:19:15.320 --> 00:19:16.840 "for stripes spotted are molted, 00:19:16.840 --> 00:19:20.000 "for I have seen all that Laban is doing to you." 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:23.040 Verse 13, "I am the God of Bethel 00:19:23.040 --> 00:19:26.920 "where you anointed a pillar and made a vow to me." 00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:30.080 And this is another bold, underline, italics right here. 00:19:30.080 --> 00:19:32.480 "Now arise, go from this land 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:34.580 "and return to the land of your kindred. 00:19:34.580 --> 00:19:37.060 "Then Rachel and Leah answered and said to him, 00:19:37.060 --> 00:19:40.480 "is there any portion or inheritance left to us 00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:42.060 "in our father's house? 00:19:42.060 --> 00:19:45.020 "Are we not regarded by him as foreigners? 00:19:45.020 --> 00:19:50.020 "For he has sold us and he has indeed devoured our money. 00:19:50.020 --> 00:19:54.880 "All the wealth that God has taken away from our father 00:19:54.880 --> 00:19:57.420 "belongs to us and to our children. 00:19:57.420 --> 00:20:01.860 "Now then, whatever God has said to you, do." 00:20:01.860 --> 00:20:07.080 This has to be a moment in the dynamic of their family. 00:20:07.080 --> 00:20:11.660 This man comes to his wives and says, 00:20:11.660 --> 00:20:14.140 "This is what we need to do. 00:20:14.140 --> 00:20:16.700 "This is what I've heard from the Lord. 00:20:16.700 --> 00:20:18.580 "Here's who God is." 00:20:18.580 --> 00:20:22.020 And he says it with the confidence 00:20:22.020 --> 00:20:24.820 that God has never left us. 00:20:24.820 --> 00:20:26.220 This is important. 00:20:26.220 --> 00:20:29.020 This is important as we lead our family. 00:20:29.020 --> 00:20:33.040 Jacob's faith for his family is not found in Jacob, 00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:34.740 but it's found in God. 00:20:34.740 --> 00:20:38.200 It's not the confidence in his worldly ways, 00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:41.020 but it's in the confidence of God. 00:20:41.020 --> 00:20:43.180 He says, "Your father has cheated us, 00:20:43.180 --> 00:20:47.300 "but God has protected us and will continue to do so. 00:20:47.300 --> 00:20:50.980 "God has taken back for us what was taken from me 00:20:50.980 --> 00:20:53.900 "and given it to us, but now God is telling us to leave 00:20:53.900 --> 00:20:54.860 "and will do that." 00:20:54.860 --> 00:20:58.740 He said, "Listen, ladies, God has fought the fight for us. 00:20:58.740 --> 00:21:02.340 "You're not trusting me, you're trusting God." 00:21:02.340 --> 00:21:03.460 This is leadership. 00:21:03.460 --> 00:21:06.140 This is leadership. 00:21:06.140 --> 00:21:08.780 Jacob has not been a leader. 00:21:08.780 --> 00:21:10.840 Here, Jacob becomes a leader. 00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:13.840 Here, Jacob says to his wife, "Don't follow me. 00:21:13.840 --> 00:21:15.160 "Don't follow me. 00:21:15.160 --> 00:21:17.600 "Instead, follow me as I follow God. 00:21:17.600 --> 00:21:22.000 "Follow me as I follow God." 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:24.600 Jacob becomes a leader not because of the plan he has, 00:21:24.600 --> 00:21:26.280 but because of the plan that God has, 00:21:26.280 --> 00:21:27.540 and he listens to God. 00:21:27.540 --> 00:21:34.360 And he trusts that God of what God will do. 00:21:34.360 --> 00:21:38.360 And God reveals to Leah and Rachel all that's going on. 00:21:38.360 --> 00:21:40.040 They agree to follow. 00:21:40.040 --> 00:21:41.160 Here's this. 00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:43.360 We've seen, I mean, you read back, 00:21:43.360 --> 00:21:45.840 it was a beautiful love picture 00:21:45.840 --> 00:21:47.920 when Jacob made this journey, 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:51.440 and then what we begin to see is this dysfunction of life, 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:52.400 of what's there. 00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:53.560 And I don't know about you, 00:21:53.560 --> 00:21:57.000 but maybe you came in here today kind of living a little bit 00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:59.300 like maybe your ankle deep in dysfunction, 00:21:59.300 --> 00:22:01.420 maybe your knee deep in dysfunction, 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:03.640 maybe your chest deep in dysfunction, 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:05.760 or maybe you feel like the dysfunction in your life 00:22:05.760 --> 00:22:06.960 is over your head. 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:08.160 I have to feel like for Jacob, 00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:09.840 like he woke up numerous times, 00:22:09.840 --> 00:22:12.920 multiple lives, multiple dynamics of what's going on, 00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:14.560 all of the fighting, all of the issue, 00:22:14.560 --> 00:22:16.240 everything that's going on, 00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:18.440 and he felt like he was swimming, 00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:20.760 he was drowning in his dysfunction. 00:22:20.760 --> 00:22:21.760 So here's what I want you to get. 00:22:21.760 --> 00:22:24.120 Maybe you feel like that's where you are. 00:22:24.120 --> 00:22:26.120 Your dysfunction is never too great 00:22:26.120 --> 00:22:27.660 to start to follow God today. 00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:32.840 Today, right now, right now in this moment, 00:22:32.840 --> 00:22:35.520 it's not go and get the dysfunction cleaned up, 00:22:35.520 --> 00:22:37.960 it's not go and get it all worked out. 00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:39.800 It's not get buttoned up more. 00:22:39.800 --> 00:22:41.780 It's not any of those things. 00:22:41.780 --> 00:22:44.440 It's come to God now. 00:22:44.440 --> 00:22:45.560 Trust God now. 00:22:45.560 --> 00:22:47.560 Trust God with the dysfunction that you know. 00:22:47.560 --> 00:22:49.400 Trust God with the dysfunction that you don't know. 00:22:49.400 --> 00:22:50.880 Trust God with the sin that you have. 00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:52.640 Trust God with the sin that you don't know that you have. 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:54.200 Trust God with the sin that you committed. 00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:55.680 Trust God with the sin that you're committing. 00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:57.400 Trust God with the sin that you're going to commit. 00:22:57.400 --> 00:22:58.280 Trust God with it all. 00:22:58.280 --> 00:23:00.080 And God says, guess what, I got it. 00:23:00.080 --> 00:23:02.440 I got it. 00:23:02.440 --> 00:23:05.600 So many people are like, but tomorrow, 00:23:05.600 --> 00:23:07.960 but tomorrow, but tomorrow. 00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:10.600 And God says, no, no, no, no, no, right now. 00:23:10.600 --> 00:23:12.800 Right now. 00:23:12.800 --> 00:23:14.720 And if we look at this with Jacob, 00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:19.720 Jacob says, you know what, ladies, we're following God. 00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:23.760 And he loads up all of the mess, all of the dysfunction, 00:23:23.760 --> 00:23:28.760 everything that's there, and they start to follow God. 00:23:28.760 --> 00:23:30.700 Verse 17. 00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:37.480 So Jacob arose and set his sons and his wives on camels. 00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:42.960 He drove away all of his livestock 00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:46.080 and all of his property that he had gained, 00:23:46.080 --> 00:23:50.080 the livestock in his possession that he had acquired 00:23:50.080 --> 00:23:52.960 and paddened him a ram to go to the land of Canaan 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:54.920 to his father Isaac. 00:23:54.920 --> 00:23:57.360 And Laban had gone to shear his sheep. 00:23:57.360 --> 00:24:00.880 This seems to be insignificant, 00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:02.440 but I want you to notice this. 00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:08.400 And Rachel stole her father's household gods. 00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:10.440 That's important. 00:24:10.440 --> 00:24:15.760 And Jacob tricked Laban, the Aramean, 00:24:15.760 --> 00:24:18.980 by not telling him that he intended to flee. 00:24:18.980 --> 00:24:21.600 He fled with all that he had, 00:24:21.600 --> 00:24:25.880 and arose and crossed the Euphrates, 00:24:25.880 --> 00:24:28.840 and set his face toward the hill of Gilead. 00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:31.780 So they leave. 00:24:31.780 --> 00:24:36.200 They leave and they start their journey back. 00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:38.920 And Jacob took all that was his, 00:24:38.920 --> 00:24:40.880 all of what he worked for, all of what God had given him, 00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:42.240 all he'd been blessed with, 00:24:42.240 --> 00:24:47.680 and in a strange move, Rachel stole her father's gods. 00:24:47.680 --> 00:24:55.460 If your God is a God that can be stolen, 00:24:55.460 --> 00:24:58.240 your God is insufficient. 00:24:58.920 --> 00:25:03.920 If your God, in the moment of crisis, 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:06.880 is a God that can be taken, 00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:09.340 your God is insufficient. 00:25:09.340 --> 00:25:15.240 Jacob says, "We're gonna go follow God." 00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:19.080 And again, I don't know why, 00:25:19.080 --> 00:25:21.160 and they're clearing things out, 00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:23.120 and I don't know if it was a shelf in the kitchen, 00:25:23.120 --> 00:25:25.480 like I don't know how this worked, right? 00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:27.620 She was like, "Oh, watch this." 00:25:28.500 --> 00:25:29.660 Right? 00:25:29.660 --> 00:25:31.620 Right there, right there in her pocket. 00:25:31.620 --> 00:25:37.460 Verse 22, "When it was told Laban on the third day 00:25:37.460 --> 00:25:39.940 "that Jacob had fled," remember Laban is three days away, 00:25:39.940 --> 00:25:42.460 "he took his kinsmen with him 00:25:42.460 --> 00:25:45.140 "and pursued him for seven days, 00:25:45.140 --> 00:25:50.140 "and followed close after him into the country of Gilead. 00:25:50.140 --> 00:25:55.060 "But God came to Laban, the Aramean, 00:25:55.060 --> 00:25:57.840 "in a dream by night and said to him, 00:25:57.840 --> 00:26:01.120 "Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, 00:26:01.120 --> 00:26:03.220 "either good or bad." 00:26:03.220 --> 00:26:04.260 This is it. 00:26:04.260 --> 00:26:06.060 This is how big God is. 00:26:06.060 --> 00:26:11.300 Laban's God could be taken, and God shows up and speaks. 00:26:11.300 --> 00:26:14.740 Laban finds out what had happened, 00:26:14.740 --> 00:26:17.020 and from the language that we see, 00:26:17.020 --> 00:26:19.540 this is not a journey of like, 00:26:19.540 --> 00:26:22.620 hey, sons, let's get together. 00:26:22.620 --> 00:26:23.960 Dad messed up again. 00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:27.720 And we gotta work this out. 00:26:27.720 --> 00:26:32.720 What he does is he's not pursuing Jacob and his daughters 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:37.720 in an attempt to fix a misunderstanding. 00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:41.560 Instead, he gets the family together 00:26:41.560 --> 00:26:43.740 to go and kill his family. 00:26:43.740 --> 00:26:46.860 Right? 00:26:46.860 --> 00:26:49.120 But Laban, the idol worshiper, 00:26:49.120 --> 00:26:52.800 in a dream, God comes to him and says, 00:26:52.800 --> 00:26:57.800 "You do not even as much say evil to him." 00:26:57.800 --> 00:26:59.440 Right? 00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:02.560 Of what God is doing. 00:27:02.560 --> 00:27:06.840 And the power of God is so real. 00:27:06.840 --> 00:27:10.820 The evidence of God is so known, 00:27:10.820 --> 00:27:15.820 even someone who does not follow him takes heed. 00:27:15.820 --> 00:27:18.360 Verse 25. 00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:25.120 Seven days journey, and Laban overtook Jacob. 00:27:25.120 --> 00:27:30.720 Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country, 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.880 and Laban with his kinsmen pitched tents 00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:36.440 in the hill country of Gilead. 00:27:36.440 --> 00:27:40.840 And Laban said to Jacob, "What have you done 00:27:40.840 --> 00:27:45.560 "that you have tricked me and driven away my daughters 00:27:45.560 --> 00:27:48.700 "like captives of the sword? 00:27:48.700 --> 00:27:52.260 "Why did you flee secretly and trick me 00:27:52.260 --> 00:27:56.420 "and did not tell me so that I may have sent you away 00:27:56.420 --> 00:27:59.780 "with mirth and songs, with tambourine and lyre? 00:27:59.780 --> 00:28:03.820 "And why did you not permit me to kiss my sons 00:28:03.820 --> 00:28:06.280 "and my daughters farewell? 00:28:06.280 --> 00:28:08.680 "Now you have done foolishly. 00:28:08.680 --> 00:28:11.900 "It is in my power to do you harm. 00:28:11.900 --> 00:28:15.340 "But the God of your father spoke to me last night, 00:28:15.340 --> 00:28:18.560 "saying, 'Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, 00:28:18.560 --> 00:28:19.820 "'either good or bad. 00:28:19.820 --> 00:28:23.220 "'And now you have gone away because you long greatly 00:28:23.220 --> 00:28:24.780 "'for your father's house. 00:28:24.780 --> 00:28:27.180 "'But why did you steal my gods?' 00:28:27.180 --> 00:28:30.500 "And Jacob answered and said to Laban, 00:28:30.500 --> 00:28:33.360 "'Because I was afraid, for I thought that you would take 00:28:33.360 --> 00:28:36.080 "'your daughters from me by force. 00:28:36.080 --> 00:28:40.440 "'Anyone with whom you find your gods shall not live. 00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:43.740 "'In the presence of our kinsmen, point out what I have 00:28:43.740 --> 00:28:45.600 "'that is yours and take it.' 00:28:45.700 --> 00:28:49.260 "Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen them." 00:28:49.260 --> 00:28:50.100 Right? 00:28:50.100 --> 00:28:51.740 He was unsure. 00:28:51.740 --> 00:28:54.920 So Laban gets to Jacob, he overtakes Jacob. 00:28:54.920 --> 00:28:57.040 Here's the big confrontation. 00:28:57.040 --> 00:29:01.400 And the man who has lied, cheated, stolen, 00:29:01.400 --> 00:29:04.540 manipulated for more than 20 years, 00:29:04.540 --> 00:29:07.320 like you can feel this, 00:29:07.320 --> 00:29:11.000 that the man who has taken advantage, 00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:15.060 the man who is victimized, looks at him and says, 00:29:15.060 --> 00:29:18.840 "How could you do this to me? 00:29:18.840 --> 00:29:22.960 "Look at your guilt, Jacob. 00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:27.460 "And look how you've taken this out on innocent me." 00:29:27.460 --> 00:29:32.460 Laban says, "You've abusively taken my daughters from me. 00:29:32.460 --> 00:29:36.000 "You've snuck away and did not allow for me 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.320 "to celebrate you and your leaving. 00:29:38.320 --> 00:29:40.320 "We would have thrown you a party. 00:29:40.320 --> 00:29:43.240 "You didn't allow me to bless my daughters 00:29:43.240 --> 00:29:47.280 "and my grandchildren, and I should do you harm 00:29:47.280 --> 00:29:50.680 "because this is what you deserve." 00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:53.760 Laban makes himself the victim. 00:29:53.760 --> 00:29:58.100 But as oftentimes do, 00:29:58.100 --> 00:30:02.940 the toxic person tries to justify themselves 00:30:02.940 --> 00:30:04.140 through spiritual means. 00:30:04.140 --> 00:30:09.500 But your God, you say you're a Christian. 00:30:09.500 --> 00:30:10.700 You ever heard that one? 00:30:11.760 --> 00:30:13.520 But your God told me to stop. 00:30:13.520 --> 00:30:17.680 So I'm afraid, so I will. 00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:21.800 But also, you stole my gods. 00:30:21.800 --> 00:30:26.440 I think it's interesting that in the God 00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:30.660 that he doesn't follow, Laban hears from, 00:30:30.660 --> 00:30:35.880 but in the gods that he worships, 00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:39.320 that are worthless, and he can't find them. 00:30:40.360 --> 00:30:41.760 And there's a whole 'nother different lesson 00:30:41.760 --> 00:30:42.760 there for us, right? 00:30:42.760 --> 00:30:47.580 The God that speaks to us clearly from his word. 00:30:47.580 --> 00:30:51.960 The God that we know will never leave us or forsake us. 00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:55.760 The God we've trusted for our hope of eternity. 00:30:55.760 --> 00:30:57.880 The God that forgives us and gives us truth 00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:00.260 and speaks life into being. 00:31:00.260 --> 00:31:03.840 The God who died for your sins and mine. 00:31:03.840 --> 00:31:07.040 The God that we hear from, but how often 00:31:08.340 --> 00:31:10.780 do we settle and worry about the little idols 00:31:10.780 --> 00:31:11.980 that our hearts pursue? 00:31:11.980 --> 00:31:17.180 James says, look, I don't know. 00:31:17.180 --> 00:31:20.860 I don't know about your gods, but here's what I do know. 00:31:20.860 --> 00:31:23.820 Man, I'm following God as I lead my family. 00:31:23.820 --> 00:31:24.860 Verse 33. 00:31:24.860 --> 00:31:31.100 So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent, 00:31:31.100 --> 00:31:33.600 and into the tent of the two female servants, 00:31:33.600 --> 00:31:35.540 but he did not find them. 00:31:35.540 --> 00:31:38.500 And he went out of Leah's tent and into Rachel's. 00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:40.380 Now Rachel had taken the household gods 00:31:40.380 --> 00:31:44.500 and put them in her camel's saddle and sat on them. 00:31:44.500 --> 00:31:48.100 And Laban felt about the tent, but did not find them. 00:31:48.100 --> 00:31:53.100 And she said to her father, let not my Lord be angry 00:31:53.100 --> 00:31:55.060 that I cannot rise before you, 00:31:55.060 --> 00:31:57.820 for the way of women is upon me. 00:31:57.820 --> 00:32:02.820 So he searched, but did not find the household gods. 00:32:02.820 --> 00:32:04.420 Again, the irony. 00:32:04.420 --> 00:32:05.980 He goes and searches, he goes and searches, 00:32:05.980 --> 00:32:07.840 he goes and searches, cannot be found. 00:32:07.840 --> 00:32:10.420 If your God is so small that they cannot be found, 00:32:10.420 --> 00:32:11.900 your God is insufficient. 00:32:11.900 --> 00:32:12.840 Verse 36. 00:32:12.840 --> 00:32:18.060 Then Jacob became angry and berated Laban. 00:32:18.060 --> 00:32:22.420 Jacob said to Laban, what is my offense? 00:32:22.420 --> 00:32:27.420 What is my sin that you have hotly pursued me? 00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:32.420 For you have felt through all of my goods. 00:32:32.420 --> 00:32:36.740 What have you found in all of your household goods? 00:32:36.740 --> 00:32:40.420 Set it here before my kinsmen and your kinsmen 00:32:40.420 --> 00:32:43.260 that they may decide between us two. 00:32:43.260 --> 00:32:45.420 These 20 years I have been with you. 00:32:45.420 --> 00:32:48.620 Your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried, 00:32:48.620 --> 00:32:51.280 and I have not eaten the rams of your flock. 00:32:51.280 --> 00:32:54.460 What was torn by wild beasts, I did not bring to you. 00:32:54.460 --> 00:32:56.340 I bore the loss of it myself. 00:32:56.340 --> 00:32:58.100 For my hand, you required it, 00:32:58.100 --> 00:33:01.360 whether stolen by day or stolen by night. 00:33:01.360 --> 00:33:04.660 There I was by day, the heat consumed me, 00:33:04.660 --> 00:33:09.660 and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. 00:33:09.660 --> 00:33:12.780 These 20 years I have been in your house. 00:33:12.780 --> 00:33:17.780 I have served you 14 years for two of your daughters 00:33:17.780 --> 00:33:20.020 and six for your flock, 00:33:20.020 --> 00:33:22.820 and you have changed my wages 10 times. 00:33:22.820 --> 00:33:26.420 If the God of my father, the God of Abraham, 00:33:26.420 --> 00:33:29.420 the fear of Isaac had not been on my side, 00:33:29.420 --> 00:33:33.660 surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed, 00:33:33.660 --> 00:33:37.620 but God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands 00:33:37.620 --> 00:33:39.540 and rebuked you last night. 00:33:39.540 --> 00:33:42.500 Jacob unloads. 00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:45.940 He unloads. 00:33:45.940 --> 00:33:49.020 He stands up for himself. 00:33:49.020 --> 00:33:51.100 He stands up for his wives. 00:33:51.100 --> 00:33:53.380 He stands up for his family. 00:33:53.380 --> 00:33:56.980 He stands up to his father-in-law and says, 00:33:56.980 --> 00:33:59.140 this is what I've done for you, 00:33:59.140 --> 00:34:02.300 and this is what you've done to me. 00:34:02.300 --> 00:34:04.380 I have submitted to you. 00:34:04.380 --> 00:34:06.900 I'm no longer submitting to you. 00:34:06.900 --> 00:34:10.140 I'm submitting to God, because through it all, 00:34:10.140 --> 00:34:12.420 it was not you who was protecting me. 00:34:12.420 --> 00:34:14.540 It was not you who was keeping me. 00:34:14.540 --> 00:34:15.580 It was God. 00:34:15.580 --> 00:34:17.060 I am his. 00:34:17.060 --> 00:34:21.660 And this is what we will do. 00:34:21.660 --> 00:34:25.480 And then Laban answered and said to Jacob, 00:34:27.380 --> 00:34:30.200 the daughters are my daughters, 00:34:30.200 --> 00:34:33.100 the children are my children, 00:34:33.100 --> 00:34:36.180 the flocks are my flocks, 00:34:36.180 --> 00:34:38.480 and all that you see is mine. 00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:44.340 But what can I do this day for these my daughters, 00:34:44.340 --> 00:34:47.500 for their children whom they have born? 00:34:47.500 --> 00:34:51.940 Come now, let us make a covenant, you and I, 00:34:51.940 --> 00:34:54.780 and let it be a witness between you and me. 00:34:55.820 --> 00:34:59.380 So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. 00:34:59.380 --> 00:35:02.660 And Jacob said to his kinsmen, gather stones. 00:35:02.660 --> 00:35:05.540 And they took stones and made a heap, 00:35:05.540 --> 00:35:07.740 and they ate there by the heap. 00:35:07.740 --> 00:35:11.340 And Laban called it Jar-saddufa, 00:35:11.340 --> 00:35:13.980 but Jacob called it Galid. 00:35:13.980 --> 00:35:18.140 Jacob said, this heap is a witness between you and me today, 00:35:18.140 --> 00:35:21.700 therefore it is named Galid and Nisba. 00:35:21.700 --> 00:35:25.540 For he said, the Lord watch between you and me 00:35:25.540 --> 00:35:27.940 when we are out of one another's sight. 00:35:27.940 --> 00:35:29.300 If you oppress my daughters, 00:35:29.300 --> 00:35:32.500 or if you take wives besides my daughters, 00:35:32.500 --> 00:35:34.740 although no one is with us, 00:35:34.740 --> 00:35:37.860 see God is witness between you and me. 00:35:37.860 --> 00:35:43.040 Laban can't own it, man. 00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:46.140 He can't own his mistakes. 00:35:46.140 --> 00:35:49.560 He can't own his issues. 00:35:49.560 --> 00:35:54.560 So once again, he tries to victimize himself. 00:35:54.900 --> 00:35:59.220 He tries to say, fine, let's just walk away. 00:35:59.220 --> 00:36:00.940 But what does he do at the end? 00:36:00.940 --> 00:36:05.340 The man who deceived, the man who misled, 00:36:05.340 --> 00:36:09.140 the man who sold off his own daughters 00:36:09.140 --> 00:36:14.280 to live in the dysfunction that that is, 00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:19.780 says, whoa, whoa, whoa, but you don't take any more. 00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:22.100 You don't take any more. 00:36:24.180 --> 00:36:25.020 Verse 51. 00:36:25.020 --> 00:36:29.120 Then Laban said to Jacob, 00:36:29.120 --> 00:36:33.080 see this heap and pillar which I have set 00:36:33.080 --> 00:36:34.140 between you and me? 00:36:34.140 --> 00:36:38.580 This heap is a witness and the pillar is a witness 00:36:38.580 --> 00:36:41.360 that I will not pass over this heap to you, 00:36:41.360 --> 00:36:43.640 and you will not pass over this heap and this pillar 00:36:43.640 --> 00:36:45.380 to me to do harm. 00:36:45.380 --> 00:36:47.500 The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor 00:36:47.500 --> 00:36:50.840 and the God of their father judge between us. 00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:54.200 So Jacob swore by the fear of his father Isaac, 00:36:54.200 --> 00:36:56.880 and Jacob offered a sacrifice in the hill country 00:36:56.880 --> 00:36:59.400 and called his kinsmen to eat bread. 00:36:59.400 --> 00:37:02.040 They ate bread and spent the night in the hill country. 00:37:02.040 --> 00:37:05.040 Early in the morning, Laban arose, 00:37:05.040 --> 00:37:08.360 kissed his grandchildren and his daughters, 00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:12.160 and blessed them, and then Laban departed 00:37:12.160 --> 00:37:14.320 and returned to his home. 00:37:16.320 --> 00:37:17.520 Laban doesn't know God, 00:37:17.520 --> 00:37:22.980 but he knows the power of the God of Jacob. 00:37:22.980 --> 00:37:27.900 And so they agree, they draw a boundary, 00:37:27.900 --> 00:37:30.480 they go their separate ways. 00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:36.280 And this is a complicated, complicated, complicated story. 00:37:36.280 --> 00:37:41.080 It's a case study in those that want to be, 00:37:41.080 --> 00:37:43.920 those that choose to be toxic, 00:37:43.920 --> 00:37:46.880 and that those that desire to follow God. 00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:51.520 Here, Laban is toxic, he's a user, he's an abuser. 00:37:51.520 --> 00:37:54.480 No one, nothing is sacred to him. 00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:57.800 There is no one he will not cross. 00:37:57.800 --> 00:38:01.200 And Jacob, while influenced, 00:38:01.200 --> 00:38:03.520 often makes the wrong decisions. 00:38:03.520 --> 00:38:06.800 He creates sinful situations for himself, 00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:11.800 but still, through it all, desires God and the ways of God. 00:38:12.080 --> 00:38:13.520 And so this morning, just, 00:38:13.520 --> 00:38:15.520 we're not gonna get through all of 'em. 00:38:15.520 --> 00:38:21.160 But this morning, there's some questions I want us to ask. 00:38:21.160 --> 00:38:26.320 And I want us to look to examine our own hearts within this. 00:38:26.320 --> 00:38:27.400 Answer this question, 00:38:27.400 --> 00:38:30.640 what do toxic people do in a relationship? 00:38:30.640 --> 00:38:34.860 What have we seen from Laban in this? 00:38:34.860 --> 00:38:37.520 But then in the counter of that, 00:38:37.520 --> 00:38:40.520 what do godly people do in a relationship? 00:38:40.520 --> 00:38:44.240 What do godly people do when they choose the way of God? 00:38:44.240 --> 00:38:51.080 But then question three, and I think this is important. 00:38:51.080 --> 00:38:54.080 I think this is so monumental for us understanding 00:38:54.080 --> 00:38:56.440 and desiring what God has for us. 00:38:56.440 --> 00:39:01.440 Why do godly people respond differently than toxic people? 00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:05.840 Why do godly people respond differently than toxic people? 00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:07.160 Well, let's run through a couple of these 00:39:07.160 --> 00:39:09.040 this morning before we close. 00:39:09.040 --> 00:39:11.600 Number one, toxic people. 00:39:11.600 --> 00:39:14.360 Toxic people, as you're working through your list, 00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:18.320 as you're evaluating the people in your life, 00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:20.260 as you're depending on the Holy Spirit 00:39:20.260 --> 00:39:24.760 to reveal things about you that maybe you don't wanna deny, 00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:30.160 toxic people devalue your worth. 00:39:30.160 --> 00:39:34.520 Toxic people devalue your worth. 00:39:34.520 --> 00:39:39.520 Laban sees Jacob as a means to get Laban what Laban wants. 00:39:39.520 --> 00:39:44.980 So Jacob has worth, 00:39:44.980 --> 00:39:49.700 but only in how he can bring worth to Laban. 00:39:49.700 --> 00:39:50.540 You get that? 00:39:50.540 --> 00:39:56.120 Laban just wants Jacob for what Jacob can do for him. 00:39:56.120 --> 00:40:00.480 Beyond that, he's disposable. 00:40:01.320 --> 00:40:05.240 Toxic people devalue your worth. 00:40:05.240 --> 00:40:07.320 They use you for what you need, 00:40:07.320 --> 00:40:08.640 for what they need, I'm sorry, 00:40:08.640 --> 00:40:11.040 for what they need, and then they move on. 00:40:11.040 --> 00:40:13.800 So what do godly people do? 00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:15.200 What do godly people do? 00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:18.760 Godly people, they celebrate your worth. 00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:20.800 They celebrate your worth. 00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:22.400 Because here's what godly people, 00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:23.680 here's what we understand, 00:40:23.680 --> 00:40:25.080 and if this isn't where your mind is, 00:40:25.080 --> 00:40:27.320 then maybe through the power of the Holy Spirit, 00:40:27.320 --> 00:40:29.160 maybe this is where your mind and your heart 00:40:29.160 --> 00:40:30.040 begin to settle. 00:40:30.040 --> 00:40:31.520 Godly people celebrate your worth 00:40:31.520 --> 00:40:33.240 because here's what we believe about worth. 00:40:33.240 --> 00:40:35.120 Your worth is found in your creator. 00:40:35.120 --> 00:40:38.520 The God who created you, the imago dei, 00:40:38.520 --> 00:40:42.300 the image of God is what you were created in. 00:40:42.300 --> 00:40:46.680 Whether you're saved or whether you're lost, 00:40:46.680 --> 00:40:49.520 whether you're old or whether you're young, 00:40:49.520 --> 00:40:52.480 whether you're male or whether you're female, 00:40:52.480 --> 00:40:55.000 it does not matter. 00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:58.640 Your worth is found in your creator. 00:40:59.700 --> 00:41:02.560 And then when we begin to see more and more, 00:41:02.560 --> 00:41:04.760 your worth is found in your savior. 00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:09.940 Your worth is found in your savior. 00:41:09.940 --> 00:41:16.480 Jesus Christ loved you to die on the cross. 00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:21.400 And so in all of our confrontations, 00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:24.340 all of our issues, all of our struggle, 00:41:24.340 --> 00:41:27.800 your worth is not found in what you can give me. 00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:31.280 Your worth is not found in what you can do for me, 00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:36.280 but your worth is found in who God is. 00:41:36.280 --> 00:41:39.000 And so godly people respond differently 00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:41.160 because here's what godly people know. 00:41:41.160 --> 00:41:43.200 They know that God gives you worth. 00:41:43.200 --> 00:41:44.300 And that God gives you worth. 00:41:44.300 --> 00:41:46.200 Your worth is not found in your 401k, 00:41:46.200 --> 00:41:48.060 in your bank account, in your degrees, 00:41:48.060 --> 00:41:50.280 in your personalities, in your abilities. 00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:55.080 Your worth is found in God and God alone. 00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:55.920 A couple more. 00:41:56.760 --> 00:41:58.260 Second thing I want us to see. 00:41:58.260 --> 00:42:03.000 Toxic people manipulate the situation. 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:06.840 Manipulate the situation, right? 00:42:06.840 --> 00:42:12.120 My Gamecocks didn't win yesterday. 00:42:12.120 --> 00:42:14.620 They didn't. 00:42:14.620 --> 00:42:20.280 Tim, we'll talk later. 00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:23.620 They didn't. 00:42:23.620 --> 00:42:25.380 I was watching it. 00:42:25.380 --> 00:42:26.840 Whole time I'm watching, I'm thinking, 00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:29.040 man, this is how, this is what we can do. 00:42:29.040 --> 00:42:32.280 This is what needs to happen so that we can win. 00:42:32.280 --> 00:42:34.440 And that's a football game. 00:42:34.440 --> 00:42:37.480 That's okay, that's okay. 00:42:37.480 --> 00:42:39.920 Here's what toxic people do. 00:42:39.920 --> 00:42:42.640 They find conflict, they find issues, 00:42:42.640 --> 00:42:45.520 they find struggles, they find all of the issues 00:42:45.520 --> 00:42:48.200 that we see, a complicated mess that we find 00:42:48.200 --> 00:42:49.760 in this passage of Scripture. 00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:52.540 And this complicated mess is just different 00:42:52.540 --> 00:42:53.920 than your complicated mess, 00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:55.980 and it's different than my complicated mess. 00:42:55.980 --> 00:42:58.660 But trust me, we've all got complicated messes. 00:42:58.660 --> 00:43:01.180 But toxic people look at the situation 00:43:01.180 --> 00:43:04.600 and they say, how can I manipulate this 00:43:04.600 --> 00:43:06.340 so that I win? 00:43:06.340 --> 00:43:08.760 So that I win. 00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:12.840 Haven doesn't go, you know, you're right. 00:43:12.840 --> 00:43:14.360 You're right. 00:43:14.360 --> 00:43:15.640 Here's what he says. 00:43:15.640 --> 00:43:17.780 Let me agree to this with you, 00:43:17.780 --> 00:43:19.360 but because I think I'm smarter than you, 00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:20.500 here's what I'm gonna do. 00:43:20.500 --> 00:43:24.280 I'm gonna send all that's there to my sons 00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:28.560 that you're supposed to take so that I can drift away 00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:31.600 and go where I need to go and do what I need to do 00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:34.360 so that at the end of this, it's not my sons who win, 00:43:34.360 --> 00:43:35.680 it's not my daughters who win, 00:43:35.680 --> 00:43:39.160 it's definitely not my son-in-law that wins. 00:43:39.160 --> 00:43:41.180 Haven says, I win. 00:43:41.180 --> 00:43:42.280 I win. 00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:44.360 Even at the end of this. 00:43:44.360 --> 00:43:45.180 Even at the end of this. 00:43:45.180 --> 00:43:46.600 What is his last thing he does? 00:43:46.600 --> 00:43:47.680 He makes a threat. 00:43:48.860 --> 00:43:49.700 He makes a threat. 00:43:49.700 --> 00:43:54.400 Toxic people manipulate the situation 00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:57.560 so that they feel like they can win. 00:43:57.560 --> 00:43:59.760 So what do godly people do? 00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:03.520 Now, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, 00:44:03.520 --> 00:44:05.180 this is where it hits. 00:44:05.180 --> 00:44:06.880 This is where it hits. 00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:08.720 Because so many godly people 00:44:08.720 --> 00:44:13.720 feel that their motivation is sincere, 00:44:13.720 --> 00:44:16.560 but their means is manipulation. 00:44:17.500 --> 00:44:20.300 So what do godly people do? 00:44:20.300 --> 00:44:23.140 What do godly people do? 00:44:23.140 --> 00:44:28.000 In that moment, when you're there, 00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:30.980 and it's going to affect you, 00:44:30.980 --> 00:44:33.040 and you don't want it to affect you, 00:44:33.040 --> 00:44:36.300 you want it to do what you need in this situation. 00:44:36.300 --> 00:44:39.760 Toxic people manipulate. 00:44:39.760 --> 00:44:41.060 Godly people trust God. 00:44:41.060 --> 00:44:44.620 Godly people trust God. 00:44:44.620 --> 00:44:47.040 They have great confidence 00:44:47.040 --> 00:44:52.080 in the truth that in this moment, 00:44:52.080 --> 00:44:56.700 God is in control. 00:44:56.700 --> 00:45:04.300 God is in control. 00:45:04.300 --> 00:45:11.580 We'll do the rest of the points next week. 00:45:14.140 --> 00:45:17.000 Here's what I want us to get. 00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:39.100 A few weeks ago, 00:45:39.100 --> 00:45:42.140 I don't know if it was a few weeks, 00:45:42.140 --> 00:45:43.460 days that run together, 00:45:44.300 --> 00:45:46.320 I got on Facebook. 00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:49.740 A friend of mine, 00:45:49.740 --> 00:45:56.120 from my childhood, 00:45:56.120 --> 00:45:59.980 posted, 00:45:59.980 --> 00:46:02.720 not sure what's going on. 00:46:02.720 --> 00:46:05.020 Pray for my child. 00:46:12.340 --> 00:46:13.380 Couple hours later, 00:46:13.380 --> 00:46:20.540 apologized for the confusion of the message. 00:46:20.540 --> 00:46:22.740 And he said, 00:46:22.740 --> 00:46:25.380 pray for my child's school. 00:46:25.380 --> 00:46:28.620 There was a school shooter. 00:46:28.620 --> 00:46:34.740 I'd forgotten that they had moved 00:46:34.740 --> 00:46:36.600 north of Athens and north of Atlanta. 00:46:36.600 --> 00:46:41.260 His daughter praised the Lord. 00:46:41.260 --> 00:46:42.260 Praised the Lord. 00:46:42.260 --> 00:46:44.000 Safe. 00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:54.980 It's easy. 00:46:54.980 --> 00:46:58.580 That's one of a million instances 00:46:58.580 --> 00:47:02.180 that we can look at 00:47:02.180 --> 00:47:06.800 and begin to question, 00:47:06.800 --> 00:47:09.420 where's God? 00:47:10.780 --> 00:47:11.620 Where's God? 00:47:11.620 --> 00:47:18.040 And in a moment of complete transparency, 00:47:18.040 --> 00:47:20.460 in a moment, 00:47:20.460 --> 00:47:22.700 I hope all honesty 00:47:22.700 --> 00:47:24.980 from everything that I've said, 00:47:24.980 --> 00:47:27.360 but in this moment, 00:47:27.360 --> 00:47:33.800 I don't know the why. 00:47:33.800 --> 00:47:37.380 In the chaos, 00:47:37.380 --> 00:47:40.700 in the death and destruction, 00:47:40.700 --> 00:47:42.240 I know why it's sin. 00:47:42.240 --> 00:47:46.240 But here's what I trust. 00:47:46.240 --> 00:47:51.820 I trust that that day, 00:47:51.820 --> 00:47:52.660 that day, 00:47:52.660 --> 00:47:56.420 just like the day before 00:47:56.420 --> 00:47:59.500 and just like the day after, 00:47:59.500 --> 00:48:03.400 God's in control. 00:48:03.400 --> 00:48:06.300 God's in control. 00:48:06.300 --> 00:48:08.940 I see right now 00:48:10.140 --> 00:48:12.140 what the world, 00:48:12.140 --> 00:48:12.980 what the labens, 00:48:12.980 --> 00:48:17.780 what the toxic want to create 00:48:17.780 --> 00:48:21.940 in you and in me 00:48:21.940 --> 00:48:25.300 is not just conflict with one another. 00:48:25.300 --> 00:48:30.260 What they wanna create within us 00:48:30.260 --> 00:48:32.780 is the misbelief 00:48:32.780 --> 00:48:37.940 that God is not in control. 00:48:37.940 --> 00:48:41.100 But what you and I must cling to, 00:48:41.100 --> 00:48:44.180 what you and I must hold to, 00:48:44.180 --> 00:48:48.240 what you and I must hold dear to us 00:48:48.240 --> 00:48:50.580 is that in every situation, 00:48:50.580 --> 00:48:51.940 in good and bad, 00:48:51.940 --> 00:48:53.780 in gain and loss, 00:48:53.780 --> 00:48:55.780 in difficulty and ease, 00:48:55.780 --> 00:48:56.980 in all of those, 00:48:56.980 --> 00:48:59.940 to trust God in the situation 00:48:59.940 --> 00:49:01.740 that God is in control 00:49:01.740 --> 00:49:03.100 and our confidence 00:49:03.100 --> 00:49:06.980 is not found in ourselves, 00:49:06.980 --> 00:49:10.500 but our confidence is found in Him. 00:49:10.500 --> 00:49:13.220 And we can do that 00:49:13.220 --> 00:49:15.620 because here is what we know. 00:49:15.620 --> 00:49:20.620 Godly people know that God is working in the situation. 00:49:20.620 --> 00:49:24.440 I've had a long weekend. 00:49:24.440 --> 00:49:27.020 I've had a long week. 00:49:27.020 --> 00:49:30.420 But tell you what I'm gonna do this afternoon. 00:49:30.420 --> 00:49:33.220 I'm gonna take a nap. 00:49:33.220 --> 00:49:36.900 I'm gonna take a nap. 00:49:36.900 --> 00:49:37.860 I'm tired. 00:49:37.860 --> 00:49:41.140 I don't know that I can think anymore. 00:49:41.140 --> 00:49:43.940 I've got 31 more points to cover next Sunday. 00:49:43.940 --> 00:49:47.340 [congregation laughing] 00:49:47.340 --> 00:49:49.260 God doesn't nap. 00:49:49.260 --> 00:49:51.600 God's not tired. 00:49:51.600 --> 00:49:54.200 God doesn't need a break. 00:49:54.200 --> 00:49:55.920 God doesn't clock out. 00:49:55.920 --> 00:49:58.340 God doesn't hand stuff off. 00:49:58.340 --> 00:50:03.240 In the midst of all of the chaos, 00:50:03.240 --> 00:50:05.180 God is in control 00:50:05.180 --> 00:50:06.860 and He's working in it. 00:50:06.860 --> 00:50:08.380 And He's working in it. 00:50:08.380 --> 00:50:10.020 And He's working in it. 00:50:10.020 --> 00:50:12.740 In ways even on this side of eternity 00:50:12.740 --> 00:50:15.500 that we could never understand. 00:50:15.500 --> 00:50:17.460 God is working in it. 00:50:17.460 --> 00:50:19.700 So I'll close with this. 00:50:19.700 --> 00:50:23.460 We're gonna have a bunch of 'em more next Sunday. 00:50:23.460 --> 00:50:25.400 Come back. 00:50:25.400 --> 00:50:29.220 We're gonna talk about next Sunday 00:50:29.220 --> 00:50:31.940 some more traits of people who are toxic. 00:50:31.940 --> 00:50:35.040 We're gonna address 00:50:35.040 --> 00:50:37.920 how you need to address them. 00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:40.900 We see what Jacob did. 00:50:40.900 --> 00:50:42.500 What should you do with them? 00:50:42.500 --> 00:50:44.860 We're gonna talk about that next week. 00:50:44.860 --> 00:50:46.820 This week I do wanna close with this. 00:50:46.820 --> 00:50:50.460 What if you have found this morning 00:50:50.460 --> 00:50:52.980 that you're toxic? 00:50:52.980 --> 00:50:57.540 What if you have hit this point 00:50:57.540 --> 00:51:00.480 where you're like, man, 00:51:03.180 --> 00:51:06.640 I'd like to think that I'm like Jacob. 00:51:06.640 --> 00:51:09.680 But man, I see some laban. 00:51:09.680 --> 00:51:14.000 Man, I realize that every time I point my finger 00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:15.680 at someone else, I got a bunch of 'em 00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:17.780 pointing right back at me. 00:51:17.780 --> 00:51:21.160 What do you do? 00:51:21.160 --> 00:51:25.000 I'm gonna tell you what I do this week. 00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:27.520 Number one, 00:51:27.520 --> 00:51:30.320 confess. 00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:32.620 Confess. 00:51:33.520 --> 00:51:35.440 Come to God. 00:51:35.440 --> 00:51:36.720 Confess your sin. 00:51:36.720 --> 00:51:39.160 Name it specifically. 00:51:39.160 --> 00:51:43.200 Tell him what it is he already knows. 00:51:43.200 --> 00:51:47.140 And the beauty as you align with his will 00:51:47.140 --> 00:51:48.280 of what you've done. 00:51:48.280 --> 00:51:50.340 Confess to him. 00:51:50.340 --> 00:51:54.460 And the person that you're toxic with, 00:51:54.460 --> 00:51:56.760 confess to them. 00:51:56.760 --> 00:51:59.040 Confess to them. 00:51:59.040 --> 00:52:02.560 Come to them and say, listen, 00:52:02.560 --> 00:52:03.580 I'm sorry. 00:52:03.580 --> 00:52:06.500 I'm not blaming you. 00:52:06.500 --> 00:52:09.800 I'm not passing the buck off. 00:52:09.800 --> 00:52:13.160 I'm not gonna name the 10 reasons 00:52:13.160 --> 00:52:15.360 why you made me do this. 00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:18.760 I just need to confess 00:52:18.760 --> 00:52:21.400 that there's some behaviors that I have 00:52:21.400 --> 00:52:23.440 that I believe are toxic 00:52:23.440 --> 00:52:25.680 and they've been directed toward you. 00:52:25.680 --> 00:52:27.720 And whether you forgive me or not, 00:52:27.720 --> 00:52:29.280 let me just say that I'm sorry. 00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:31.460 Confess. 00:52:32.420 --> 00:52:35.340 The second is repent. 00:52:35.340 --> 00:52:37.140 Repent. 00:52:37.140 --> 00:52:40.580 Not only do we confess to God, 00:52:40.580 --> 00:52:43.060 not only do we confess to one another, 00:52:43.060 --> 00:52:44.740 but we repent. 00:52:44.740 --> 00:52:47.260 We acknowledge that if this path of behavior 00:52:47.260 --> 00:52:48.340 is destructive, 00:52:48.340 --> 00:52:52.060 that this path of behavior leads us away from God 00:52:52.060 --> 00:52:53.060 and not to God, 00:52:53.060 --> 00:52:56.500 then the part of repentance is that I turn. 00:52:56.500 --> 00:52:58.580 That I adjust. 00:52:58.580 --> 00:53:01.100 That within myself, I decide 00:53:01.100 --> 00:53:03.280 that today, 00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:06.380 I choose differently than I've chosen. 00:53:06.380 --> 00:53:10.760 Today, I choose to not be 00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:13.400 that manipulative person anymore. 00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:23.780 That God brings across my path. 00:53:23.780 --> 00:53:27.420 Today, I choose to be different. 00:53:27.420 --> 00:53:30.420 Today, I choose to be godly. 00:53:31.260 --> 00:53:33.580 So we confess. 00:53:33.580 --> 00:53:34.420 We repent. 00:53:34.420 --> 00:53:38.140 And then the third that I wanna employ with you today 00:53:38.140 --> 00:53:40.400 is to depend. 00:53:40.400 --> 00:53:42.200 To depend. 00:53:42.200 --> 00:53:48.300 To acknowledge that in your own capacity, 00:53:48.300 --> 00:53:49.860 you're incapable of doing that. 00:53:49.860 --> 00:53:54.620 But only through the power of the spirit of God 00:53:54.620 --> 00:53:57.980 that lives in you as a follower of Jesus Christ. 00:53:57.980 --> 00:53:59.140 Can you grow? 00:53:59.140 --> 00:54:00.260 Can you learn? 00:54:00.260 --> 00:54:01.540 Can you mature? 00:54:01.540 --> 00:54:06.800 As we seek to follow him with all that he has. 00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:12.120 And we choose to not be toxic, 00:54:12.120 --> 00:54:14.660 but we choose to be godly. 00:54:14.660 --> 00:54:18.740 There's a lot more heart checks that we're gonna look at. 00:54:18.740 --> 00:54:20.600 I challenge you this week, 00:54:20.600 --> 00:54:23.380 dive into this passage with me. 00:54:23.380 --> 00:54:26.760 Begin to journal about it a little bit more. 00:54:26.760 --> 00:54:28.620 Begin to write the names down 00:54:28.620 --> 00:54:31.500 of the individuals in your life who you believe are toxic 00:54:31.500 --> 00:54:33.020 and then do this. 00:54:33.020 --> 00:54:34.180 Start praying for 'em. 00:54:34.180 --> 00:54:38.080 Start desiring for God's best for them. 00:54:38.080 --> 00:54:41.140 Start asking God to speak to them 00:54:41.140 --> 00:54:44.020 and that God, when he speaks, that they'll listen. 00:54:44.020 --> 00:54:47.000 And then as they listen, they'll obey. 00:54:47.000 --> 00:54:51.620 The beauty of this is what God is doing. 00:54:51.620 --> 00:54:57.060 Because the grace that he offers us. 00:54:57.060 --> 00:54:58.220 Would you pray with me? 00:55:00.300 --> 00:55:04.100 God, I come to you this morning, 00:55:04.100 --> 00:55:06.100 I thank you for the beauty of your word. 00:55:06.100 --> 00:55:09.660 I thank you that even in a mess 00:55:09.660 --> 00:55:12.420 that we see here in Genesis, 00:55:12.420 --> 00:55:15.120 or the evidence in the movement of your hand. 00:55:15.120 --> 00:55:20.020 God, I thank you that you, God, 00:55:20.020 --> 00:55:22.780 are a beautiful God of grace 00:55:22.780 --> 00:55:26.520 who loves us unconditionally. 00:55:27.740 --> 00:55:30.660 That sent your son to die on a cross for us. 00:55:30.660 --> 00:55:35.980 Gives us your Holy Spirit to empower us 00:55:35.980 --> 00:55:37.220 that we can obey you. 00:55:37.220 --> 00:55:42.580 And God, I pray that we would go into this world 00:55:42.580 --> 00:55:46.580 to live our lives in a way that brings glory 00:55:46.580 --> 00:55:48.660 and honor to your name. 00:55:48.660 --> 00:55:52.020 Not because of what we muster up within ourselves, 00:55:52.020 --> 00:55:54.100 but because who you have saved 00:55:54.100 --> 00:55:57.300 and who, Lord, you have called us to be. 00:55:58.140 --> 00:56:00.580 God, may we confess, 00:56:00.580 --> 00:56:03.980 may we confess our sins and our shortcomings. 00:56:03.980 --> 00:56:05.720 May we confess them to you. 00:56:05.720 --> 00:56:09.580 May we confess them to those 00:56:09.580 --> 00:56:13.140 whom we've brought pain and death and destruction 00:56:13.140 --> 00:56:14.540 to in their own life. 00:56:14.540 --> 00:56:17.020 God, may we repent. 00:56:17.020 --> 00:56:20.900 May we choose another way. 00:56:20.900 --> 00:56:23.640 May we choose the way of you, 00:56:23.640 --> 00:56:25.260 the way of peace, the way of hope, 00:56:25.260 --> 00:56:27.180 the way of love, the way of truth. 00:56:27.180 --> 00:56:32.020 May we choose the path of righteousness. 00:56:32.020 --> 00:56:35.540 And God, may we do this, 00:56:35.540 --> 00:56:39.900 not in our own religious abilities, 00:56:39.900 --> 00:56:42.020 not in our own strength, 00:56:42.020 --> 00:56:43.700 not by our own power, 00:56:43.700 --> 00:56:45.780 not by our own force, 00:56:45.780 --> 00:56:50.340 but may, Lord, we do this in the fullness of your spirit 00:56:50.340 --> 00:56:53.860 to walk in the power, 00:56:53.860 --> 00:56:58.700 to live in the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 00:56:58.700 --> 00:57:02.180 to be a person of hope, of life, of peace, 00:57:02.180 --> 00:57:03.640 of reconciliation. 00:57:03.640 --> 00:57:08.460 God, may we celebrate you for it. 00:57:08.460 --> 00:57:13.780 God, I pray for the labans of our life. 00:57:13.780 --> 00:57:23.020 God, may we be an example 00:57:24.020 --> 00:57:27.440 of you to them. 00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:32.140 It's in Jesus name we pray, amen. 00:57:34.720 --> 00:57:37.540 - Thanks again for listening, 00:57:37.540 --> 00:57:40.640 and be sure to check back next week for another episode. 00:57:40.640 --> 00:57:44.380 In the meantime, you can visit us at willowridgechurch.org 00:57:44.380 --> 00:57:46.300 or by searching for Willow Ridge Church 00:57:46.300 --> 00:57:47.900 on Facebook, Instagram.