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What is the difference between lust and your sexual desires? Should you feel guilty when you notice that someone's attractive? Often people who are stuck in porn for a long time will start praying for God to remove their sexual desires from them, but we have to understand what is lust and what is a godly sexual desire in order to live free of guilt regarding something God gave us!
Show Notes
Welcome to episode #74!
This week, Matt and Braden relieve some guilt people feel about their sexual desires by differentiating between lust and sexual desire.
God gave you a sexual desire
When porn has run rampant in our lives, it's common to wish for no more sexual desire. We need to instead pray for wisdom in discerning what is lust and what is a healthy sexual desire. God gave us sexual desires to be attracted to the people we get married to and see God's beauty, among many other reasons. He wants us to crave our spouses sexually, so don't pray away your sexual desire. Pray for the wisdom and strength to have your true sexual desires come to the forefront so you can act on them, rather than giving into lust.
It's okay to notice beautiful people
Many people have guilt or shame when they notice beautiful people. It's common to think that noticing someone is beautiful is automatically lust, so you don't go near that person or see them for who they really are. If you can be around beautiful people and know simply as a fact that they're attractive, then you won't go into infatuation or lust where you just think sexual thoughts. Jesus would never have bounced His eyes to turn away from someone who was beautiful and we don't have to either if we're in a healthy spot. We can instead see each person for who they really are.
Know the lines that are crossed when it's lust
Lust acts impulsively in the moment. It's self-focused and reminiscent of a dog in heat. When lust takes over, there is no thought about the other person's well-being, value, or pleasure and the person gets to work instantly, whether practically or in their minds. Lust also plays on our insecurities so when we feel insecure, it promises to make us feel better, no matter what the insecurity is. It's always a lie and never satisfies. Sexual desires acted on in godly ways are under control, have the other person in mind, and waits until the time when God gives the green light to act.
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Stay tuned
Next week, Matt and Braden talk to Brett Ullman about the connection between media, mental health, and porn.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
This week, Matt and Braden relieve some guilt people feel about their sexual desires by differentiating between lust and sexual desire.
God gave you a sexual desire
When porn has run rampant in our lives, it's common to wish for no more sexual desire. We need to instead pray for wisdom in discerning what is lust and what is a healthy sexual desire. God gave us sexual desires to be attracted to the people we get married to and see God's beauty, among many other reasons. He wants us to crave our spouses sexually, so don't pray away your sexual desire. Pray for the wisdom and strength to have your true sexual desires come to the forefront so you can act on them, rather than giving into lust.
It's okay to notice beautiful people
Many people have guilt or shame when they notice beautiful people. It's common to think that noticing someone is beautiful is automatically lust, so you don't go near that person or see them for who they really are. If you can be around beautiful people and know simply as a fact that they're attractive, then you won't go into infatuation or lust where you just think sexual thoughts. Jesus would never have bounced His eyes to turn away from someone who was beautiful and we don't have to either if we're in a healthy spot. We can instead see each person for who they really are.
Know the lines that are crossed when it's lust
Lust acts impulsively in the moment. It's self-focused and reminiscent of a dog in heat. When lust takes over, there is no thought about the other person's well-being, value, or pleasure and the person gets to work instantly, whether practically or in their minds. Lust also plays on our insecurities so when we feel insecure, it promises to make us feel better, no matter what the insecurity is. It's always a lie and never satisfies. Sexual desires acted on in godly ways are under control, have the other person in mind, and waits until the time when God gives the green light to act.
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Stay tuned
Next week, Matt and Braden talk to Brett Ullman about the connection between media, mental health, and porn.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
Creators & Guests
Host
Host
Matt Cline
Matt Cline is the founder and director of Restored Ministries, focused on leading men and women out of sexual bondage and into a life of impact and freedom in Christ. He is a leading speaker and coach in Canada on the topic of sexual brokenness and has seen countless lives radically changed all around the world. You can learn more about Restored Ministries at www.restoredministries.ca.
What is Pure Victory Podcast?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.