Welcome to the Love, Sex, and Leadership podcast where you can discover simple tantric teachings to embody your true power, awaken your soul's wisdom, and live an inspired life as a natural, intuitive, and heart-centered leader. So around boundaries, when I say boundaries, what comes up for all of you? Say Say no. Anyone have trouble saying no? Anyone? Yes, I do, I do. And, and where, like, if you just look at that, not from the reality of that coming in, but think about that from Just your own like life being a such incapacity to say no at times. Where does that fear or where does that inability come from? Rejection, yeah, like not being willing to say no because then love might leave. If if we say no to how we really feel, then Is the fear that they they might leave you and actually like not want you there? Yeah. What else? taught that way growing up? OK. Yeah. Mhm. Not trusting yourself? Take some notes on this. Mm. So if you say no, then, then the person you said no to will get upset at you. Anyone ever have that fear? Yeah. And who's had trouble saying yes? Like yes to the things that you really want. OK. And why do we, I'll go over it again, Jude, no worries. It's my specialty. Oh no, the boundaries. I got a whole thing to share. Yeah, I need to learn a lot, yeah. So our inabilities to say yes, where is that coming from? Worthiness. Joy, OK. In what way? Uh, saying yes, yeah, but like why, like an inability to say yes. So Yeah. Like where do you, where do we struggle saying yes to things? Maybe the same fear. Like even if something's being offered and we do want to say yes, but inside we think it's gonna be better if we say no people pleasing, yeah, safety, so all of this is often circulating from the place of not knowing thyself really deeply and not actually standing in our ground for how we are who we are and being unapologetically ourselves. So before we go any further, I just invite you to put your hands on your body. If you close your eyes to do this if it feels right. And as you're holding your body, just feel for a moment. There is nobody. On this planet, delicious, exactly the same as you. Nobody It looks exactly the same, smile is the same, smell is the same. Has the same values, desires, interests you are a unique. Representation of God, goddess. The divine is within you, it's inside of you, it's happening through you every step along the way. And so, who are you not? To say yes to the things you love. Like, who is that benefiting by not. Saying yes to the things that you love. Taking that into your awareness. And As you're holding and loving and honoring this beautiful body temple, What advantage? But the whole. To say Yes, when you're really you know. What advantage does it take? To make somebody else says yes, more important than your health. how many times you may have done that in life. You've made somebody else's yes. More important than your note. you didn't want to hurt their feelings. As you wanted to be the good girl, the good boy, all these things, and it's not to blame or shame or condemn yourself, just to take notice. And what if By saying no. Point your finger to who you're saying yes to. When you say no. To something that you don't like, who are you saying yes to? You're saying yes to yourself. So behind every no, there's a yes, behind every yes, there's a no. And the more that you get to know thyself, the more you get to know your own inner union, the more you get to experience. And love all parts of yourself. And you can experience the depth of being able. To say yes to yourself by sometimes saying no. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it's challenging. Even when all parts of you are wanting to run away, does it feels so debilitating. But actually by taking care. Of yourself, then you create a deeper safety field for everyone else around you. Cause if you're saying yes to something you really mean no to. That doesn't help you or anyone else you're saying yes to. It actually creates more unsafety. Nod your head if that lands. That makes sense. By you Learning to And living more deeply. From the place of saying yes. To yourself. Which means at times saying no to others. And the reality is, when you start to say no, The people around you. That you normally have said yes to, that's probably gonna make them uncomfortable, and it's probably going to trigger them. Also let this land inside of you. You are not responsible. For somebody else's emotional body. Therefore, by having healthy boundaries. There are times when your no is going to create an upset in somebody. That's just the way the universe works. The upset is not your responsibility. It's not to say that. You have no skin in the game with that. Of course, you saying yes or no is going to impact them, but trying to take emotional responsibility for them doesn't do you or them a favor. It actually creates more unsafety for all of you. Receiving a breath in. So this body temple that you are holding right now, that you are honoring, that you are caring for. Again, one of my deepest longings and desires and intentions for each of you leaving here. Is that energetically, physically, spiritually. Only from this day moving forward love or above is entered. Around you through you with you. Meaning that if something isn't coming into your field. That is lover above, then you have the capacity to say no and that's you loving yourself. It might be a dear beloved, it might be a partner, it might be a parent. Who are so used to you saying yes and running over you. That you actually standing your stick in the ground and saying, you know what, I'm a no here. That's gonna make them very uncomfortable. And that's OK, because then they can come to their own fundamentals of thoughter workshop. But that means that they can actually start to find responsibility in themselves, and that's not your job to do that for them. But your job is is to be yes to what you're yes to, no to what you're no to. And it's gonna be challenging at times. This is why life. It's such a beautiful cosmic joke. Challenging us, giving us opportunities to grow, evolve, and expand over and over and over again. Which can allow us to come back home into our hearts more and more and more. And this is the gift. That we get to give ourselves, so breathe that in. Found out. Opening the eyes. And in a moment, I'm going to share with you just some very simple tools that we can utilize to move some of our emotional body, not in any wild crazy catharsis, but just in a way where we can start to express some of the tension and and angst that's inside of us. Because all those times when somebody else says yes has been more important than you or no. Have you let your body vibrate and express the frustration of that? Or is it stuck inside? Has there been a time in the last day, week, or month where somebody else says yes has been more important than you or no? Anyone? So Yeah. I'd like to add some Do you have a question or I, I just wanna add something. Um, I grew up, well, I just said, uh, my sense of boundaries, my understanding of boundaries is that if a person doesn't have boundaries, they don't exist, that you have to have boundaries to exist, and it's a skill that we have to learn otherwise. We don't exist Yeah, boundaries like being able to have clear healthy boundaries and actually at the end of the day, clear, healthy boundaries often don't even really need to be communicated. People can feel the vibration that says love is here, and I don't want all your other bullshit. And when someone feels that, they don't fuck with you. People only get fucked with because they know that your boundaries are soft. And they know that they can manipulate you and coerce you and get you involved in whatever you want because they know that you're unable to actually say no 100%. And that's a crazy frustrating world, but that's the reality. So what we'll do. Standing in a moment is just an opportunity to express some of the no that's inside of you, we'll do that as a group, as well as I'm gonna guide you into. It's just an invitation to let some of the emotionality that's inside of you come through, and that might be a frustration for somebody who did cross your boundaries. Because if there's someone who crossed your boundaries in your past and you haven't said, no, fuck you, get out of here. I don't want you here. We were talking earlier about, no, um, I was talking, remind me your first name John, yeah, we're talking about lovemaking and where, where we can go for uh 2-3 hours or things like that and time and space seems to be kind of a continuum. So the same thing exists. When we're doing this healing work, when you have a pillow in front of you, and you're expressing to your brother or your father or your mother or your daughter or someone that you didn't express to. And you're saying it in the first time as if they're right there in front of you. You actually don't know the difference between past, present, and future. So that part of you that's expressing in that moment and owning your no is helping to heal that part of you in the past that wasn't able to say that. Time and space actually collapsing into a single moment, which quantum physics shows us as well. So when we're going into these practices and all of a sudden you find yourself flooded with memories or thoughts or ideas of as a child and. Your mother's in front of you, your father's in front of you, or your ex-wife is there, or your current beloved. You actually just saying what you need to say and expressing what you need to express helps you become more current. Helps that young part inside your voice, and your throat, and your body, say what you actually need to say, so that The next time when something like that happens, you have the capacity to say no, and you're not who's ever been choked up and unable to actually say how you feel. You'll never have that feeling. Yeah, so. Our throat chakra, here, this this is uh in the the alignment of of the poles of the chakras is a positive pole for the masculine. Right below it is the heart, which is a positive pole for the feminine. Positive pole just means there's more of a Um, penetrative nature. So when you can own, this is why often, you know, the world in which we live in has a lot of very loud, outspoken, opinionated, masculine energy that tends to run a lot of the shit because there's, it's like we learn at a young age, you learn how to express your voice strongly. And powerfully, and you can get places. And you know, coming from this country, and it's interesting when I'm speaking and teaching in a lot of other countries, people are like, well, you're very American. And I just think everyone knows how to, you know, speak their voice and, and share their truth and, and, and express themselves in the group. I learned how to do that when I was in high school, speaking and teaching in front of a group. And I know that a lot of the people didn't know their skills, but that's a very like. American, get your fucking voice out there. It's beautiful and also has its downsides as well. So I share that because the parts inside of your past that haven't been able to express what they need to are the very parts inside of you that are seeking to express so that you can reclaim your power. So that you can actually know the next time in your relationship and your business interaction, when that's happening in front of you, you can say, hey, no, it doesn't need to be like, no, fuck you, it can be like, no, this is, that's not aligned to me. This is what I need, need feminine quality, but actually being not able to ask for what we need and not push our needs aside. Yeah. Any questions on any of this before we move forward? Cool. So, what we'll do in just a moment, we'll take down a few more cushions up there as well. And it's not gonna be a, a, a super deep emotional process, but this is something I want you all to be able to do. When you are at home and you get frustrated like being able to move your emotional body super important so I'm I'm sitting on my bed I'm sitting wherever I am and I'm feeling frustrated because the male didn't come on time because my husband is off with another woman, whatever the situation is. And I'm feeling frustrated. Before, when I was working with Kierra and there was a location, there was a location of the frustration, there's a uh there's a sound, and then there's also an energy. So this action can be often initially taking off the Um, you could say like a champagne bottle where we release the cork, and then it's like, boom, there's a lot. So this action initially of streaming into the hands, I feel like can sometimes be taking the cork off the emotional body.