1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,510 AK!: On today's episode of ADHD20, I hope I'm wearing fireproof pants, cause 2 00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:06,690 Matt's about to haul me into the hot seat! 3 00:00:09,363 --> 00:00:11,003 Hehehehe! 4 00:00:11,427 --> 00:00:13,424 Matt: Oh no, Not again. 5 00:00:13,929 --> 00:00:14,719 AK!: Hi, Mattie. 6 00:00:15,019 --> 00:00:20,239 Matt: how 7 00:00:22,374 --> 00:00:24,254 much did that pack of hands cost? 8 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,279 AK!: Like, $7! 9 00:00:26,654 --> 00:00:28,929 Matt: How much joy received? 10 00:00:29,059 --> 00:00:29,859 AK!: Endless! 11 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:36,339 Like you don't even know how much fun my life is now that I have 12 00:00:36,659 --> 00:00:39,859 beaucoups of tiny hands, okay? 13 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:40,364 Matt: man. 14 00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:41,359 I just 15 00:00:41,359 --> 00:00:46,239 AK!: Welcome to ADHD20, a podcast that sits at the intersection of ADHD. 16 00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:48,560 Matt: TTRPGs. 17 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,461 My name is Matt, And I have ADHD. 18 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,441 AK!: And my name is Alison and I have very little hands. 19 00:00:55,741 --> 00:00:57,830 Matt: dude, I was hoping you were gonna say that. 20 00:01:00,251 --> 00:01:02,361 AK!: Tiny hands, one might even say. 21 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,230 Matt: We know each other and we do the things. 22 00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:08,280 Um, hey Alison, how 23 00:01:08,381 --> 00:01:10,751 AK!: It's, it's, it's been a while. 24 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:11,640 Matt: been a while. 25 00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:13,520 since I've been Yes. 26 00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:15,221 AK!: How am I? 27 00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,001 Scared. 28 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:16,660 Matt: Yeah. 29 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:17,350 Mm hmm. 30 00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,140 Yeah, I bet you are. 31 00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,120 I bet you are. 32 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:21,470 This is a very, important 33 00:01:21,851 --> 00:01:26,491 AK!: This is a very, you know, you have, you have really done, done 34 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:33,371 so well to take feedback and ideas and new information in stride. 35 00:01:33,821 --> 00:01:37,781 But now it's my turn and I'm, I'm so scared. 36 00:01:38,561 --> 00:01:39,281 I 37 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:39,915 Matt: so 38 00:01:39,915 --> 00:01:40,085 AK!: There's 39 00:01:40,085 --> 00:01:40,870 Matt: some good news. 40 00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:41,890 There's some good news. 41 00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:44,820 Uh, I don't know that you need to be scared, scared. 42 00:01:45,030 --> 00:01:51,320 Uh, but, um, you know, this is going to be, this is going to be a, a, an 43 00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:57,900 intervention of sorts, but it's going to be, as always, a safe space as well. 44 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:02,920 Today, we're going to be talking about something that plagues so many 45 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,170 of us, not just people with ADHD, 46 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:11,650 uh, but really ever since, I mean, at the very least, 2007 47 00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:13,096 when the iPhone came out, uh, 48 00:02:13,096 --> 00:02:14,681 AK!: I love that you know the year. 49 00:02:15,161 --> 00:02:16,291 Nerd. 50 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,370 Matt: Uh, of course I do. 51 00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:23,680 Uh, You know, when, when cell, 52 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,295 when cell phones became mobile phones became, 53 00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:27,880 you know. 54 00:02:28,428 --> 00:02:30,763 Pocket Oracles, or whatever billions we have for them. 55 00:02:30,763 --> 00:02:32,243 AK!: Pocket Oracles. 56 00:02:32,598 --> 00:02:33,958 Matt: Yes, Pocket oracles. 57 00:02:35,728 --> 00:02:37,918 Ever since 2007, I, um, 58 00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:40,538 there has been an increased, 59 00:02:40,718 --> 00:02:41,968 an increasing, you know, 60 00:02:42,058 --> 00:02:45,444 ability to vanish in plain sight. 61 00:02:45,475 --> 00:02:47,445 AK!: Did you ever have a Blackberry? 62 00:02:48,244 --> 00:02:48,644 Matt: never had a 63 00:02:48,765 --> 00:02:51,564 AK!: Oh Man, that was my like gateway drug. 64 00:02:51,864 --> 00:02:52,724 Matt: Ah, 65 00:02:53,024 --> 00:02:57,095 AK!: man, I got that Blackberry and nobody ever saw the front of my face ever again. 66 00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:57,765 It was just 67 00:02:59,094 --> 00:02:59,584 Matt: Wow, 68 00:03:00,015 --> 00:03:00,755 AK!: top of my head 69 00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:01,655 Matt: This a long time coming. 70 00:03:01,955 --> 00:03:03,369 AK!: is a long time coming. 71 00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:04,024 Matt: Okay. 72 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,106 Look, we've talked about stimming. 73 00:03:06,306 --> 00:03:09,716 We've talked about things that sometimes we do that are surprising to other 74 00:03:09,716 --> 00:03:11,526 people that actually help us focus. 75 00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:13,306 I know that some of it is stimming for you. 76 00:03:13,306 --> 00:03:13,836 I know that. 77 00:03:14,326 --> 00:03:20,646 However, uh, the reason that I felt like I maybe should, it could be a good topic 78 00:03:20,656 --> 00:03:26,286 for many is that you have been caught a few times not knowing what's happening. 79 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,606 And look, the two of us are friends. 80 00:03:28,826 --> 00:03:32,054 And then everybody listening to this with ADHD and other 81 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,066 brains also friends, right? 82 00:03:35,066 --> 00:03:38,240 So We wouldn't have this podcast if Alison wasn't okay with it. 83 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,056 Let's put it that way. 84 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,820 We would not be, we'd not be talking right now if you were not, okay, 85 00:03:42,820 --> 00:03:46,130 in fact, you were the one that suggested I go to your friends 86 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:46,710 AK!: did do that. 87 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:50,277 I said, listen, these are the people that have spent time in person with me lately. 88 00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:52,910 Go, go get the dirt from them. 89 00:03:53,370 --> 00:04:00,125 Um, I also, because of how often you have put yourself up for discussion, 90 00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:05,280 uh, that's what we do here at ADHD20 and that's, that's the interesting 91 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,370 part of being an adult, right? 92 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:11,090 Is that like, there's parts of myself that I just know, fundamentally, I'm 93 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:15,910 never going to change whether or not I want to, and then there are parts 94 00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:21,545 of myself that I'm like, especially if it is hurting other people, 95 00:04:22,415 --> 00:04:27,215 I want to change, you know, if it's, if I, if my, you know, phone use and, 96 00:04:27,365 --> 00:04:31,362 you know, inability to not scroll social media for 17 hours a day 97 00:04:31,865 --> 00:04:36,745 is making people feel like I don't value their time, that's a problem. 98 00:04:36,805 --> 00:04:37,735 And we need to talk about it. 99 00:04:37,785 --> 00:04:38,165 So, 100 00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:38,890 Matt: Yeah. 101 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:43,160 So, that is what we're going to be talking about on today's episode. 102 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,970 Uh, Alison's quote unquote addictions. 103 00:04:47,390 --> 00:04:48,980 Addiction to phones. 104 00:04:49,013 --> 00:04:49,753 But before we do 105 00:04:49,899 --> 00:04:50,899 AK!: But before we do that. 106 00:04:51,783 --> 00:04:53,913 Matt: There's something that we always have to start the show with. 107 00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:56,340 I think it's your, it's your turn to roll 108 00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:57,205 AK!: Okay, I'll roll. 109 00:04:57,395 --> 00:05:00,725 I, I never need to be like coaxed into rolling. 110 00:05:01,025 --> 00:05:03,835 How about What 111 00:05:05,196 --> 00:05:07,861 Matt: What is, your ADHD tell? 112 00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:11,031 AK!: My, my, my, my, my inability to stay off my phone. 113 00:05:11,034 --> 00:05:17,584 No I mean, sometimes the comedy just writes itself, but that's my 114 00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:25,774 honest answer is that I am so easily distracted, most often by my phone. 115 00:05:26,178 --> 00:05:29,438 Matt: Yes, yes, and We're gonna get into this, 116 00:05:29,604 --> 00:05:29,734 AK!: get it. 117 00:05:30,474 --> 00:05:32,674 That was the Dice Gods, man. 118 00:05:32,684 --> 00:05:34,854 They were listening for this one. 119 00:05:34,854 --> 00:05:35,332 Whoo. 120 00:05:35,332 --> 00:05:35,811 Uh 121 00:05:36,138 --> 00:05:40,438 Matt: listening, But the fun thing about it is, is that, as we've 122 00:05:40,438 --> 00:05:44,279 mentioned many times, you and I have a very different strain 123 00:05:44,579 --> 00:05:44,979 AK!: Uh huh. 124 00:05:45,349 --> 00:05:45,819 Uh huh. 125 00:05:46,928 --> 00:05:51,388 Matt: Uh and maybe, maybe that's why you allow yourself to be, 126 00:05:51,388 --> 00:05:53,928 um, um, distracted by your 127 00:05:54,119 --> 00:05:54,649 AK!: Mm hmm. 128 00:05:54,949 --> 00:06:01,618 Matt: Because it, it, distraction ness is not as strong within you. 129 00:06:01,668 --> 00:06:02,948 Impulsiveness is not 130 00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:04,338 as strong within me. 131 00:06:04,478 --> 00:06:06,368 So, we'll get into it. 132 00:06:06,368 --> 00:06:07,698 But I, I kind of love this. 133 00:06:07,928 --> 00:06:08,786 That is kind of magic. 134 00:06:09,086 --> 00:06:09,706 AK!: And you? 135 00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:11,435 Matt: Uh, Oh man, I mean, 136 00:06:13,736 --> 00:06:14,776 AK!: Where's your fidget spinner? 137 00:06:14,806 --> 00:06:15,436 Is it there? 138 00:06:15,736 --> 00:06:15,945 Matt: on. 139 00:06:16,465 --> 00:06:21,395 I mean, literally, right, I was using it just, just before I pulled 140 00:06:21,395 --> 00:06:23,945 up this, this chart, but there? 141 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:30,015 I feel like there's so many ADHD tells for me. 142 00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:37,345 I feel like I wear it far more visual, visibly than you do. 143 00:06:37,345 --> 00:06:37,445 I don't know. 144 00:06:38,376 --> 00:06:39,126 AK!: Really? 145 00:06:40,645 --> 00:06:43,295 Matt: I mean, I, please, please convince me 146 00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:47,306 AK!: I, I, yeah, I don't, I mean, I, I don't think that you don't wear it 147 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:52,416 visually, but I, like, I feel like, For both of us, like, anybody spends 5 148 00:06:52,426 --> 00:06:56,586 minutes in either of our presence and is armchair diagnosing either of us. 149 00:06:57,516 --> 00:06:59,276 The thing is, they don't have to, because we have both made 150 00:06:59,276 --> 00:07:00,756 ADHD our entire personality. 151 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,296 We're basically vegans like that. 152 00:07:02,936 --> 00:07:08,496 Um, but like, it's there's CrossFit, there's being vegan and there's ADHD 153 00:07:08,506 --> 00:07:12,146 and like, that those are the 3 things that you don't ever have to ask anybody 154 00:07:12,146 --> 00:07:13,356 about, because they will tell you. 155 00:07:13,746 --> 00:07:16,396 It's funny because I'm realizing as you were answering that question, as 156 00:07:16,396 --> 00:07:20,826 I was answering that question, that we made this list up back in Season 1. 157 00:07:21,295 --> 00:07:21,725 Matt: Right. 158 00:07:22,266 --> 00:07:22,536 AK!: It's, 159 00:07:22,735 --> 00:07:23,115 Matt: it is, 160 00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:27,926 AK!: it's probably time to, like, you know, refresh the list, but because 161 00:07:27,936 --> 00:07:31,966 it has, I mean, it really has been a beautiful, wonderful thing, but, like, 162 00:07:32,156 --> 00:07:36,056 it's so, because back when we were first beginning this podcast, Matt, 163 00:07:36,066 --> 00:07:40,146 we, we did, like, maybe not everybody was as familiar with our tells. 164 00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:43,551 Maybe we weren't as familiar with our tells, but, like, three seasons 165 00:07:43,551 --> 00:07:47,231 later, like, I think that's a very laughable question to ask either of us. 166 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,291 My, how we've grown 167 00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:51,985 Matt: exactly, I totally agree. 168 00:07:52,095 --> 00:07:57,105 I feel like I've only learned more tells in last 169 00:07:57,111 --> 00:07:57,931 AK!: Every day. 170 00:07:58,531 --> 00:08:00,341 Every day I'm like, how did we not know? 171 00:08:01,025 --> 00:08:01,625 Matt: How did we not 172 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:02,071 AK!: Well, we? 173 00:08:02,071 --> 00:08:02,541 did know, 174 00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:02,841 but 175 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:03,425 Matt: Well, 176 00:08:03,791 --> 00:08:03,991 AK!: we? 177 00:08:03,991 --> 00:08:04,281 knew 178 00:08:05,265 --> 00:08:11,195 Matt: We, yeah, we did Uh, but yes, I mean, specifically, the obvious way 179 00:08:11,195 --> 00:08:16,815 that my brain is ahead of my mouth, and I don't start with a subject of 180 00:08:16,815 --> 00:08:21,135 sentences many, many, many times, and therefore, in my mind, I've already 181 00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:26,155 finished the sentence that I've just said out loud, and then everyone's like, 182 00:08:26,155 --> 00:08:31,802 what are you, what are you fucking saying, Another tell that, that I'm, 183 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:36,172 I'm actually embarrassed about and I'm trying really hard to work on because, 184 00:08:36,552 --> 00:08:40,992 you know, because I do film myself so much more and I watch my, is the rocking. 185 00:08:41,122 --> 00:08:42,917 That's, You're 186 00:08:42,917 --> 00:08:44,292 AK!: a rocker and I'm a twister. 187 00:08:44,822 --> 00:08:46,168 Matt: Yeah, so many tells. 188 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:47,614 AK!: what are you, what are you going to do? 189 00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:48,274 What are you going to do? 190 00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:48,837 All right. 191 00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:49,297 That's me. 192 00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:49,880 stalling. 193 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,610 Let's 194 00:08:52,014 --> 00:08:55,884 Matt: So, you've been called into the principal's office because 195 00:08:58,090 --> 00:08:59,770 AK!: take some deep breaths together, everybody. 196 00:09:00,284 --> 00:09:01,944 Matt: I'll start off by telling a story. 197 00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:02,230 AK!: Yep. 198 00:09:02,949 --> 00:09:08,919 Matt: Possibly because, number one, I, the distractible, 199 00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:18,119 for those of you that are not watching this, Alison has just got 200 00:09:18,119 --> 00:09:21,059 these plastic baby hands on her face. 201 00:09:26,009 --> 00:09:27,659 Okay, perfect, perfect example. 202 00:09:27,929 --> 00:09:33,428 Uh, because the inattentive type of ADHD is mine it has been a challenge 203 00:09:33,438 --> 00:09:38,958 for me my entire life with and without medicine, definitely with and without 204 00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:51,208 diagnosis, I have developed, ways that I could possibly minimize at least 205 00:09:51,218 --> 00:09:52,918 the appearance of being distracted. 206 00:09:52,938 --> 00:09:53,798 Does that make sense? 207 00:09:54,498 --> 00:09:58,678 So, it takes a lot of energy and time and focus. 208 00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:03,580 But, for an example, when watching a television show or a movie, I am 209 00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:06,640 the guy who has to have it quiet. 210 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,850 And it's not because I'm not interested in what the person next to me is saying. 211 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,450 It's not that at all. 212 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,450 I am interested, and that's the problem. 213 00:10:15,873 --> 00:10:19,430 If there's a commercial, and everybody gets up and goes 214 00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:20,720 to the kitchen to get food, 215 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:21,540 AK!: mm hmm, 216 00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:21,840 mm 217 00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,202 Matt: I could just go. 218 00:10:23,502 --> 00:10:23,829 AK!: mm 219 00:10:23,829 --> 00:10:24,156 hmm, 220 00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:25,100 Matt: somewhere else. 221 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,190 I could just go elsewhere, right? 222 00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:35,000 And so when phones started happening, when phones started to become the 223 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,430 distraction that they are for everybody, when they became the dopamine machines 224 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:46,646 that ruled the world, Uh, and on top of that, social media, of course. 225 00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:47,345 Right? 226 00:10:47,345 --> 00:10:50,905 Because we're not just talking about we're not just talking about iPhones, right? 227 00:10:51,365 --> 00:10:56,310 We're we're also talking about what in the iPhone is the thing 228 00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:58,240 It's the notifications, right? 229 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,860 It's the bleeping and the, the attention grabbing stuff. 230 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:02,750 That's what it is. 231 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,462 Uh, and social media is to blame. 232 00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:08,860 I blame social media for a lot of things, but that is definitely 233 00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:10,080 one that you can't deny. 234 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:16,242 So, those two points together, I have been able to, for the most part, not 235 00:11:16,262 --> 00:11:20,450 be distracted by my phone in the way that I've seen my friends be, right? 236 00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:22,310 I'm not, I'm not saying I'm cool for that. 237 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:26,860 I'm just saying it also makes me more aware, right? 238 00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:29,610 So I'd like to start this podcast with that. 239 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,730 Like, I am very much aware of people. 240 00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:32,940 You are not the only one. 241 00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,839 everybody knows someone, and it's okay. 242 00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:39,969 It is now a part of our culture, it's a part of our society. 243 00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:44,909 My only thing, and your friends, also chime in. 244 00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:54,668 Our only thing is, can there be ways that we help you to be there with us, in 245 00:11:54,938 --> 00:11:59,898 times that you quote unquote should be. 246 00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:04,128 And we're not talking about hanging out in your house, 247 00:12:04,978 --> 00:12:06,128 everybody doing their own thing. 248 00:12:06,128 --> 00:12:06,978 We're not talking about that. 249 00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:11,578 We're not talking about, uh, I mean in certain situations we're not 250 00:12:11,578 --> 00:12:12,908 even talking about dinner, right? 251 00:12:12,908 --> 00:12:15,848 Like how many, how many restaurants do you go to and you walk in and 252 00:12:15,848 --> 00:12:17,028 everybody's just on their phone? 253 00:12:17,318 --> 00:12:20,898 Or certainly like in a subway, right? 254 00:12:20,928 --> 00:12:26,103 You know, it's like, we're We're talking about some very specific situations 255 00:12:26,153 --> 00:12:33,493 that I feel like, in the past, you have, you know, that are not as 256 00:12:37,463 --> 00:12:40,663 precious as they are to others around you. 257 00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:42,543 I don't know what I'm saying. 258 00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:43,903 You know what I'm saying. 259 00:12:44,107 --> 00:12:48,623 Okay, so, obviously the biggest example for me is playing role playing games. 260 00:12:49,613 --> 00:12:54,598 And We've talked about it, and I know what it is for you, and at the 261 00:12:54,598 --> 00:13:04,867 same time, I can't distance, I can't stop the visual of it, too, you know? 262 00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:07,903 Wow this is really difficult to say, this is, it's a difficult thing to 263 00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:17,403 say, because it's hard to relay a feeling you With also an incredible 264 00:13:17,403 --> 00:13:19,423 amount of understanding, right? 265 00:13:19,943 --> 00:13:23,826 Of something that bothers you, or something that you could talk to your 266 00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:28,866 friend about and ask them How could we, how could we help you improve this, 267 00:13:28,906 --> 00:13:31,266 but also totally understand, right? 268 00:13:31,713 --> 00:13:35,533 And so, all I can do is talk about the situation where, as a Game Master, if 269 00:13:35,543 --> 00:13:40,543 I am, if I am Game Mastering, it's not that I need everyone to be perfectly 270 00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:43,833 rapt at everything that I'm saying. 271 00:13:44,713 --> 00:13:50,843 It's just that I do know when people are not in the room, right? 272 00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:57,331 and I feel it, and therefore it takes me out of the game, whether or not you're 273 00:13:57,503 --> 00:14:02,328 out of the game, which is so weird, So I was just wondering, like, since we 274 00:14:02,328 --> 00:14:10,108 know, since we know why the phone is a big, uh, focus point, and we know that 275 00:14:10,108 --> 00:14:15,788 it's a comfort thing, and we know that it's a stim device, and let's also add on 276 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,970 top of this, you are a marketing person. 277 00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:20,040 You work in the world of marketing. 278 00:14:20,373 --> 00:14:24,143 there's a lot of, a lot of videos that I did some research on before 279 00:14:24,173 --> 00:14:27,423 this podcast that were like, yeah, just remove social media. 280 00:14:27,554 --> 00:14:29,752 You can't do that, right? 281 00:14:29,934 --> 00:14:31,094 Alison can't do that. 282 00:14:31,223 --> 00:14:32,353 I mean, I'm in the same way. 283 00:14:32,353 --> 00:14:36,583 I don't, I don't use social media very often, but the second that 284 00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:38,573 I try to delete all the apps off 285 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:39,853 my phone, I need it. 286 00:14:39,853 --> 00:14:40,253 I have to put it. 287 00:14:40,293 --> 00:14:43,493 back on So all we're actually talking about, really, is 288 00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:48,453 how do you feel about certain situations, 289 00:14:48,813 --> 00:14:53,536 I would imagine, like, dinnertime with a uh, certainly gaming, 290 00:14:54,576 --> 00:14:57,436 uh, and what other situation? 291 00:14:57,578 --> 00:14:58,318 Theaters? 292 00:14:58,318 --> 00:14:58,968 I don't know. 293 00:14:58,968 --> 00:14:59,364 Movies? 294 00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:00,044 AK!: Yeah. 295 00:15:00,124 --> 00:15:00,544 Yeah. 296 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:07,610 Matt: Okay, Even if we could find something that could not make you less 297 00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:14,590 relaxed, but make the people around you at least feel like you're more engaged, too. 298 00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,340 There were so many eggshells walking, 299 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:19,901 AK!: I 300 00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:20,131 don't. 301 00:15:20,131 --> 00:15:24,861 Well, let me, let me say just as you have gone to great lengths 302 00:15:24,861 --> 00:15:27,711 to assure me that I am safe. 303 00:15:28,091 --> 00:15:30,111 I want to extend the same to you. 304 00:15:30,131 --> 00:15:34,171 Anything that you say here I know is coming from a place of love, 305 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:38,261 coming from, I think the, the, the point of this whole podcast, both 306 00:15:38,281 --> 00:15:42,191 this episode and then like ADHd20 on a whole is about curiosity, right? 307 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,291 It's about curiosity of like, what's good, like, just explain to me, like, 308 00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:48,341 what's going on in there so we can kind of reach this understanding. 309 00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:53,711 And ultimately what you're asking is, is there something because, and that's how 310 00:15:53,711 --> 00:15:55,061 we kind of started the episode, right? 311 00:15:55,101 --> 00:15:57,551 Is that like, if something I am doing is making somebody 312 00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:58,981 else feel some kind of way, 313 00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:01,471 Let's have a conversation about it. 314 00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:01,793 Matt: Right. 315 00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:04,983 AK!: While also being like, because that's that's a relationship. 316 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:05,983 That's a friendship. 317 00:16:05,993 --> 00:16:09,983 You know, it's like, there's this, there's things that we all do that other 318 00:16:09,983 --> 00:16:13,143 people wish we didn't do, but then they do things that we wish they didn't do. 319 00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:14,033 And so there's just 320 00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:16,513 this kind of, like, give and take here. 321 00:16:16,513 --> 00:16:19,913 So anything that you want to say, Matt, like, carte blanche, like, 322 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:24,913 please say it, it will, it will make me slash us slash this better. 323 00:16:25,613 --> 00:16:29,683 And there might be an actual answer that I can give you as to why I do that. 324 00:16:29,853 --> 00:16:32,363 I already have some answers based on the things you've already said. 325 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:36,483 Um, it might be worth a conversation to see if there is a level of 326 00:16:36,483 --> 00:16:40,148 compromise that could make both parties somewhat equally comfortable. 327 00:16:40,508 --> 00:16:45,108 Uh, it might mean aha moments for other people, which has always, you know, long 328 00:16:45,108 --> 00:16:49,508 been that it's not just about me and Matt here, but rather how everybody that we 329 00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:51,028 are lucky enough to be in community with, 330 00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:52,133 Matt: Yes. 331 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,958 AK!: touch and reach and engage with the world around them. 332 00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:57,648 So, um, you can say whatever you want. 333 00:16:58,113 --> 00:17:01,243 Matt: There's a gentleman that I found online, his name is Reagan Rose, and 334 00:17:01,243 --> 00:17:05,533 I feel like he put it very well, and I also feel like it's appropriate for 335 00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:08,703 this podcast as it involves a sword. 336 00:17:08,713 --> 00:17:15,083 And he says that these mobile devices that we now rely on, their 337 00:17:15,093 --> 00:17:19,493 use of them, the power of them, has become a double edged sword. 338 00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:23,681 On the one hand, you have something that could actually 339 00:17:23,691 --> 00:17:28,651 sharpen your life, your productivity. 340 00:17:29,251 --> 00:17:33,911 It allows you to in some ways, be more present. 341 00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:37,351 It allows you to communicate with people who don't have the ability to 342 00:17:37,351 --> 00:17:40,611 communicate, uh, you know, otherwise. 343 00:17:40,631 --> 00:17:45,171 Or, you can do things that we've never been able to do. 344 00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:48,141 But on the, on the other side, the, the, the double edge 345 00:17:48,191 --> 00:17:53,231 is, it dulls our attention. 346 00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,457 It dulls everybody's attention. 347 00:17:54,757 --> 00:17:57,727 AK!: Can I give an example of, like, something happening right now, 348 00:17:57,727 --> 00:18:01,557 real time that I've noticed, um, specifically about social media and 349 00:18:01,557 --> 00:18:02,577 the double edged sword of it all. 350 00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:06,197 So we have just, Southeast has just been through two major hurricanes, Helene 351 00:18:06,207 --> 00:18:08,277 and Milton, in the last two weeks. 352 00:18:08,397 --> 00:18:09,287 Devastating. 353 00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:13,517 So, but the way that social media has kind of come to its aid and come to its rescue 354 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:18,452 and people were organizing ways to airlift supplies and rescue efforts was a really 355 00:18:18,452 --> 00:18:20,302 incredible, amazing use of social media. 356 00:18:20,592 --> 00:18:23,791 On the other hand, there are people who put their lives and the lives of 357 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:27,291 others in danger because they wanted the satisfaction of becoming an 358 00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:30,281 influencer because they wanted the views. 359 00:18:30,941 --> 00:18:34,741 So they weathered a hurricane and didn't heed, you know, the advice 360 00:18:34,761 --> 00:18:38,651 of the authorities and the experts in the situation so they could watch 361 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:42,776 their follower count and views go up, which can then hopefully lead to 362 00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:46,176 new and in their, you know, mind's eye, better ways to make money. 363 00:18:47,136 --> 00:18:50,026 If that's not the epitome of a double edged sword of social media, 364 00:18:50,916 --> 00:18:51,546 you know, 365 00:18:51,676 --> 00:18:52,136 Matt: example. 366 00:18:52,156 --> 00:18:52,526 Yeah. 367 00:18:52,826 --> 00:18:53,936 AK!: So I get it. 368 00:18:54,136 --> 00:18:56,176 I get absolutely all of that. 369 00:18:56,316 --> 00:19:00,536 Um, I may have cut you off though, in that excitement to share that. 370 00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:03,886 Matt: No, I think, I think that was a really good point. 371 00:19:04,045 --> 00:19:07,465 towards the argument of even those influencers, like, we are trying 372 00:19:07,465 --> 00:19:09,045 to build a community, right? 373 00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:13,992 We are trying to build a community, we love our community, and we count on you 374 00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:17,135 to be a voice, that is an important thing. 375 00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:18,365 is your job. 376 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,085 It is a part of who you are. 377 00:19:20,135 --> 00:19:22,715 so I think that if we're talking about any kind of quote unquote 378 00:19:22,715 --> 00:19:25,675 fixes, they're, they're so simple. 379 00:19:26,485 --> 00:19:28,635 I think they're just so simple. 380 00:19:29,075 --> 00:19:34,118 Because what we've already agreed upon is that you're using your phone 381 00:19:34,128 --> 00:19:39,568 in the way that it is meant to be right, both personal and professional. 382 00:19:39,659 --> 00:19:43,909 But I think also, like you've been saying, it's, it's, we're getting older, we're 383 00:19:43,919 --> 00:19:47,686 learning, we, we are trying to grow. 384 00:19:47,952 --> 00:19:54,154 I consider us to be, self aware, sometimes too self aware, but we, but sometimes, but 385 00:19:54,154 --> 00:19:55,610 a lot of times that's really, really good. 386 00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:58,890 AK!: If I, if I may defend myself on a couple of counts, not that you're 387 00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:02,440 asking me to, but I do want to just give the full context for the people here 388 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,320 who don't know me as well as you and Sarah, for example, and I've had this 389 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,190 conversation to varying degrees with a lot of different people over the years. 390 00:20:09,630 --> 00:20:11,819 1, um, Social media makes me happy. 391 00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:15,961 It's why I kind of attempted to go into it as a career and then went, well, maybe 392 00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:19,801 not everything we love has to be our career and started to back back out of it. 393 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,751 But to your point, I still do use it as kind of the primary 394 00:20:22,751 --> 00:20:24,261 face on several platforms. 395 00:20:25,031 --> 00:20:27,831 So a lot of times when I'm on my phone, especially when we're talking about like 396 00:20:27,831 --> 00:20:31,551 a conference or something like that, like I'm using it in two different ways and 397 00:20:31,551 --> 00:20:35,891 don't like, so I'm using it twice the amount of other people, but you have to 398 00:20:35,891 --> 00:20:42,151 give me my fun time too since the other time I was using it for the purpose of 399 00:20:42,421 --> 00:20:46,691 posting stories, reaching out to people, leaving comments, because that's the 400 00:20:46,691 --> 00:20:49,701 thing that people a lot of times don't understand about social media management. 401 00:20:49,701 --> 00:20:54,101 It's very little coming up with the perfect reel and very much about, 402 00:20:54,291 --> 00:20:59,361 especially, and I read a really great report that actually who it was Tumblr 403 00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:05,420 of all things put out like just this week about basically the ways that Gen 404 00:21:05,451 --> 00:21:07,861 Z wants to be engaged in community. 405 00:21:08,106 --> 00:21:13,486 And, and how essentially Gen Z needs community for the sake of community, not 406 00:21:13,486 --> 00:21:15,096 community for the sake of being sold. 407 00:21:16,226 --> 00:21:21,236 So they want to be invited to a community by any given brand just to be in the 408 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:24,346 presence of, of, of talking about that thing that they might all like. 409 00:21:24,706 --> 00:21:30,006 Whereas millennials and Gen Xers, I won't lump the Boomers into this. 410 00:21:30,016 --> 00:21:32,716 It's like, they understood that the communities were more like, let me 411 00:21:32,716 --> 00:21:34,306 ask questions about this platform. 412 00:21:34,316 --> 00:21:36,226 Let me da da da da da da da da 413 00:21:37,006 --> 00:21:37,693 So like. 414 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,626 The more that we use social media, and that's the thing that's, this 415 00:21:40,626 --> 00:21:43,626 is interesting to me, just like you have this hunger, this thirst, this 416 00:21:43,626 --> 00:21:47,406 quest, this drive for your tools and always want to be on the, like, 417 00:21:47,416 --> 00:21:49,176 the best, greatest, next platform. 418 00:21:49,556 --> 00:21:51,706 I have that same hunger for social media. 419 00:21:52,036 --> 00:21:55,336 I, you know, got on Friendster in college. 420 00:21:55,891 --> 00:21:58,851 Basically, the day that Facebook went global and you did because 421 00:21:58,857 --> 00:22:00,691 I just missed by 1 year. 422 00:22:00,691 --> 00:22:03,081 I just missed being able to join Facebook in college. 423 00:22:03,511 --> 00:22:07,301 Um, yeah, because I graduated college in 2004. 424 00:22:07,401 --> 00:22:12,721 Facebook went global in 2006, not needing a, you remember the iPhone dates. 425 00:22:12,721 --> 00:22:14,111 I remember the Facebook dates. 426 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,861 It was in September of 2006, because it was right after I moved to New 427 00:22:17,861 --> 00:22:18,961 York and that's why I remember it. 428 00:22:19,001 --> 00:22:21,961 Because I remember a friend texting me saying, get on Facebook. 429 00:22:22,011 --> 00:22:23,891 You finally don't need a college email address. 430 00:22:24,441 --> 00:22:26,541 Because back when I was in college, your email address was 431 00:22:26,541 --> 00:22:27,961 cut off after you graduated. 432 00:22:28,821 --> 00:22:33,041 Um, and so I remember like lamenting for a few months, like I can't get on Facebook 433 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:36,451 and I want to be on Facebook and like borrowing my friend's Facebook account 434 00:22:36,451 --> 00:22:38,711 so I could like sneak on and like spy. 435 00:22:39,021 --> 00:22:42,241 I remember spending a lot, you know, way too much time in my, you know, 436 00:22:42,241 --> 00:22:44,061 figuring out my top eight on MySpace. 437 00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:48,081 And then, but like, so all of this pivots into early in my career, I was 438 00:22:48,238 --> 00:22:51,238 managing a team of hotel concierges and realizing that we could use 439 00:22:51,271 --> 00:22:55,293 platforms like Foursquare and Twitter to engage with potential clients 440 00:22:55,486 --> 00:22:56,796 to potential brands we wanted. 441 00:22:57,006 --> 00:22:59,996 And this was way before anybody, I mean, this was Blackberry days. 442 00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:03,256 This is before anybody was talking about like influencers 443 00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:04,596 as a career and things like this. 444 00:23:04,606 --> 00:23:08,216 So this is something that has always interested me. 445 00:23:08,226 --> 00:23:12,776 And then like from a, you know, social person aspect, who's Southern. 446 00:23:12,776 --> 00:23:15,976 So I'm a little bit nosy, you know, like it's fun. 447 00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:17,576 I enjoy social media. 448 00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:22,391 And, and, in the times in my life where I've stopped enjoying social media has 449 00:23:22,391 --> 00:23:25,461 been when I have taken myself off, like, you know, like, shut down my profile 450 00:23:25,461 --> 00:23:29,781 for a minute, taken a step back, you know, and like, I've gone through, like, 451 00:23:29,781 --> 00:23:32,061 detoxes and cleanses and things like that. 452 00:23:32,081 --> 00:23:35,861 I actually purposefully do not have notifications on my phone 453 00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:37,556 for any social media apps. 454 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:38,260 Matt: Mm 455 00:23:38,330 --> 00:23:38,780 hmm. 456 00:23:38,896 --> 00:23:42,756 AK!: Uh, so I don't get, I do not get a notification if you message 457 00:23:42,766 --> 00:23:46,206 me on Facebook or Instagram or like my post because it was too much. 458 00:23:46,910 --> 00:23:47,270 Matt: And you've 459 00:23:47,306 --> 00:23:48,456 AK!: And I've kept that off. 460 00:23:48,676 --> 00:23:50,526 Yeah, because that was too much. 461 00:23:50,876 --> 00:23:54,206 So, it becomes intentional for me to go to the platform. 462 00:23:54,206 --> 00:23:56,976 Now, do I go to the platform too much because it's a form of stimming? 463 00:23:56,996 --> 00:24:01,336 Yes, but I don't get notifications for that very reason because 464 00:24:01,386 --> 00:24:05,456 the impulse gremlin in me was I gotta go like the comment. 465 00:24:05,456 --> 00:24:09,506 I gotta go interact, you know, for both brands as well as personal stuff. 466 00:24:10,260 --> 00:24:14,540 Matt: Well, and let, let me, let me side note real quick too and say that 467 00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:23,511 I also respect the power, of social media because of, you know, because 468 00:24:23,511 --> 00:24:30,209 of my time on the early internet, even Friendster, where we built our own thing. 469 00:24:30,551 --> 00:24:32,541 And I saw, oh my god, wow. 470 00:24:32,966 --> 00:24:33,216 This 471 00:24:33,226 --> 00:24:35,736 is, This is a real community. 472 00:24:35,746 --> 00:24:39,116 This, this really, these, these are people I care about. 473 00:24:39,156 --> 00:24:42,856 These are, this is real, so I, I don't want to, I don't want to downplay 474 00:24:43,336 --> 00:24:48,446 that either, which I think a lot of people do, and I think they shouldn't, 475 00:24:49,102 --> 00:24:49,612 AK!: Well, it's, 476 00:24:50,232 --> 00:24:50,502 it's, 477 00:24:50,536 --> 00:24:51,772 Matt: I don't, I really don't think they should, 478 00:24:52,072 --> 00:24:54,732 AK!: it's, what you and have always talked about on this podcast where anytime 479 00:24:54,732 --> 00:24:57,512 you feel the need to start a sentence. 480 00:24:57,512 --> 00:24:59,762 Well, why don't you just why don't you just...? 481 00:25:00,412 --> 00:25:02,452 Just stop just stop talking at that point? 482 00:25:02,962 --> 00:25:06,052 Because you're about to belittle someone, even if you mean well. 483 00:25:07,706 --> 00:25:08,046 Matt: point. 484 00:25:08,237 --> 00:25:10,457 AK!: and so when people give me the, why don't you just 485 00:25:10,497 --> 00:25:12,167 take off your notifications? 486 00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:15,557 Well, I've already done that, you know, like, and again, you're taking 487 00:25:15,577 --> 00:25:18,037 away from the fact that I like it. 488 00:25:18,327 --> 00:25:19,337 I enjoy it. 489 00:25:19,377 --> 00:25:20,427 It's a hobby. 490 00:25:20,561 --> 00:25:22,227 Like, I enjoy learning about it. 491 00:25:22,227 --> 00:25:25,087 I enjoy when you guys ask me questions and I can give you answers. 492 00:25:25,987 --> 00:25:27,997 You know, and so we all have our things. 493 00:25:28,007 --> 00:25:30,867 It's just that, like, I feel like sometimes social media has gotten such 494 00:25:30,867 --> 00:25:34,987 a bad rep over the years that people do want to kind of belittle that. 495 00:25:35,147 --> 00:25:39,387 Nobody would ever go to somebody who knows a great deal about coding or a 496 00:25:39,387 --> 00:25:41,917 great deal about, you know, like any of the things that I feel like a lot 497 00:25:41,917 --> 00:25:43,787 of my contemporaries know a lot about. 498 00:25:44,057 --> 00:25:46,737 But there's something about social media that makes people want 499 00:25:46,737 --> 00:25:48,847 to kind of, like, write it off. 500 00:25:49,567 --> 00:25:51,037 That does hurt my feelings. 501 00:25:51,047 --> 00:25:54,127 And then that's when the gremlin really rises and I double down and get 502 00:25:54,206 --> 00:25:54,317 really 503 00:25:54,506 --> 00:25:55,206 Matt: And you double down. 504 00:25:55,366 --> 00:25:55,796 Yeah, 505 00:25:55,946 --> 00:26:01,206 So, yeah, So we've, we've already said, yes, you're, you are not wrong. 506 00:26:01,286 --> 00:26:03,916 You are using it as correctly as possible. 507 00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,239 I'm not active on social media, not for the reasons. 508 00:26:08,479 --> 00:26:11,539 I mean, my problem is I just can't control it, right? 509 00:26:11,549 --> 00:26:12,269 Like I can't. 510 00:26:13,369 --> 00:26:19,179 I don't like the chaos, and I can get, I will dive into 511 00:26:19,189 --> 00:26:21,839 rabbit holes that are just apps. 512 00:26:21,889 --> 00:26:26,149 I've got so many things, other things that I want to do, but it doesn't make me 513 00:26:26,149 --> 00:26:28,329 happy, and it does make you happy, right? 514 00:26:29,099 --> 00:26:33,229 Uh, another reason, a quick plug for our incredible Discord that, 515 00:26:33,979 --> 00:26:40,079 uh, I do love that, and it is, it is so similar to my first days on the 516 00:26:40,150 --> 00:26:40,690 AK!: yeah, 517 00:26:41,409 --> 00:26:42,579 Matt: Where we built our own. 518 00:26:42,890 --> 00:26:46,299 And it is so much like that and it's just, yeah, 519 00:26:46,329 --> 00:26:46,929 I love it. 520 00:26:46,989 --> 00:26:53,065 I, I may not be on it every single day, most days, but I do love it. 521 00:26:53,065 --> 00:26:54,408 then I'll just pose this as a question. 522 00:26:54,821 --> 00:27:02,321 Would you be willing to find ways to simply manage the timing? 523 00:27:02,695 --> 00:27:07,405 I mean, I think you started with the notification thing, probably, but I wonder 524 00:27:07,435 --> 00:27:13,831 if there are ways, ways that I use too, that might be for the next three hours 525 00:27:13,831 --> 00:27:18,701 I'm gonna press a button and it is going to hide everything and it is gonna dim 526 00:27:18,701 --> 00:27:25,111 everything and it is going to make it so much harder for me to check phones. 527 00:27:25,786 --> 00:27:29,966 I mean does that even sound, I mean I know, I know it's difficult, but 528 00:27:30,396 --> 00:27:32,906 is that, does that even sound like something that you would be willing to 529 00:27:33,112 --> 00:27:35,092 AK!: So here, here's, here's the thing. 530 00:27:35,791 --> 00:27:36,181 Matt: hmm. 531 00:27:36,481 --> 00:27:39,622 AK!: I sound like I'm about to be defensive and I'm not. 532 00:27:39,662 --> 00:27:44,822 I'm, I'm like, posing because I hear you and I want to, like, get 533 00:27:44,822 --> 00:27:46,072 to a place that we both feel good. 534 00:27:48,602 --> 00:27:50,112 The thing that distracts me. 535 00:27:51,287 --> 00:27:55,957 And when I pick up my phone and start, like, whatever, and honestly, a lot 536 00:27:55,957 --> 00:27:57,217 of the time I'm playing Home Escapes. 537 00:27:57,877 --> 00:27:59,787 If you look at me and I'm on my phone, and especially if it's 538 00:27:59,787 --> 00:28:01,028 sideways, I'm playing Home Escapes. 539 00:28:01,197 --> 00:28:02,287 I'm not on Facebook. 540 00:28:02,317 --> 00:28:04,407 I'm not actively talking to anybody. 541 00:28:04,407 --> 00:28:08,797 I'm moving colored blocks around a screen because I'm stimming. 542 00:28:09,352 --> 00:28:12,512 Like, when, when I watch TV, I realized this a couple of weeks ago, 543 00:28:12,593 --> 00:28:16,772 like, when I was growing up, my mom was always like, cross stitching or 544 00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:20,922 knitting or like, doing something with her hands while she watched TV. 545 00:28:21,245 --> 00:28:24,745 That's what I'm like, so I'm not like, actively doing 546 00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:26,122 anything is this very passive. 547 00:28:26,475 --> 00:28:28,645 I don't enjoy just sitting and watching TV. 548 00:28:28,695 --> 00:28:31,855 And so when people that's a time when people say, why don't you just like, 549 00:28:31,855 --> 00:28:32,695 why don't you put your phone down? 550 00:28:32,705 --> 00:28:33,385 Relax. 551 00:28:33,705 --> 00:28:34,015 Matt: Yeah, 552 00:28:34,845 --> 00:28:35,815 AK!: This isn't relaxing to 553 00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:36,055 me. 554 00:28:36,095 --> 00:28:38,065 Like, now I feel like I'm being forced into doing something. 555 00:28:38,163 --> 00:28:41,163 So that's understanding what I'm doing. 556 00:28:41,985 --> 00:28:44,865 8 times out of 10, when I pick up my phone, it's not me reacting to 557 00:28:44,865 --> 00:28:46,935 a notification or a text or a call. 558 00:28:47,155 --> 00:28:51,055 It's me saying, I have some extra energy in my body right now, 559 00:28:51,295 --> 00:28:52,925 and it needs to go somewhere. 560 00:28:53,215 --> 00:28:55,705 Otherwise, it's going to become disruptive in game. 561 00:28:56,645 --> 00:28:57,745 That's what I'm doing. 562 00:28:58,315 --> 00:28:58,655 Matt: Yeah. 563 00:28:59,445 --> 00:28:59,905 So, 564 00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:00,425 yeah. 565 00:29:00,435 --> 00:29:03,425 let's put that on the table to all of your friends and anybody 566 00:29:03,425 --> 00:29:06,015 who is in a similar boat, right? 567 00:29:06,015 --> 00:29:10,484 And let's be sure that we, we are making the message clear that Alison 568 00:29:10,504 --> 00:29:13,020 is not trying to insult anyone. 569 00:29:13,020 --> 00:29:14,594 You know, she is not bored. 570 00:29:15,244 --> 00:29:17,724 She does not wish that she should be doing something else. 571 00:29:17,764 --> 00:29:19,294 She does want to be here. 572 00:29:19,504 --> 00:29:23,684 And she, she simply this is a way that helps her focus. 573 00:29:24,694 --> 00:29:25,874 Okay, so we've got that. 574 00:29:26,244 --> 00:29:27,314 And we're good with that. 575 00:29:27,374 --> 00:29:32,234 But what can we do to 576 00:29:32,452 --> 00:29:32,942 Meet in the 577 00:29:33,283 --> 00:29:33,563 AK!: Yeah. 578 00:29:33,863 --> 00:29:36,742 Matt: So if my way is to be super stoic and say you can't speak 579 00:29:36,742 --> 00:29:38,502 during the, you know, like, again, 580 00:29:38,593 --> 00:29:39,253 AK!: That's your way. 581 00:29:39,253 --> 00:29:39,713 Okay. 582 00:29:40,142 --> 00:29:40,802 Matt: That's my way. 583 00:29:41,002 --> 00:29:41,862 Yeah, that's mine. 584 00:29:41,952 --> 00:29:46,572 I mean, I'm very, it's intense because I, I, I get annoyed because 585 00:29:46,572 --> 00:29:50,552 I'm trying so hard, you know, like, that's not the way to be. 586 00:29:51,192 --> 00:29:54,262 How can we find those middle grounds? 587 00:29:54,552 --> 00:29:58,552 You know, as we've said a billion times, it all starts with communication. 588 00:29:58,742 --> 00:30:03,252 It all starts with playing people this podcast so they understand. 589 00:30:04,392 --> 00:30:05,162 Because it's hard. 590 00:30:05,472 --> 00:30:06,172 And then Yeah. 591 00:30:06,192 --> 00:30:06,542 so what do we 592 00:30:06,573 --> 00:30:08,553 AK!: Well, that's what I'm wondering, like, what's, you know, because I 593 00:30:08,553 --> 00:30:13,208 hear you and I absolutely want to give you the space to, to like... 594 00:30:14,398 --> 00:30:16,468 I am always having fun when I'm playing D&D. 595 00:30:16,488 --> 00:30:19,708 It's just the fact that, like, you know, it's like the difference of this podcast. 596 00:30:20,038 --> 00:30:21,358 You and I are the only two on it. 597 00:30:21,428 --> 00:30:23,218 So it's a direct conversation back and forth. 598 00:30:23,568 --> 00:30:25,688 My, my camera is my phone. 599 00:30:25,688 --> 00:30:28,158 So I actually can't play on my phone during this. 600 00:30:28,178 --> 00:30:33,843 But also, but like, I don't expect or need to be constantly engaged. 601 00:30:33,853 --> 00:30:38,353 I understand that D&D is a collaborative thing, and everybody deserves their 602 00:30:38,353 --> 00:30:41,453 time in the sun, you know, their time in the spotlight, so I would never 603 00:30:41,453 --> 00:30:44,713 want to rob anybody of that, nor would I want anybody to think that 604 00:30:44,713 --> 00:30:48,633 I'm uninterested because I'm listening intently, but I happen to be looking down. 605 00:30:49,343 --> 00:30:52,333 So I don't know, like, because I want to solve it, right? 606 00:30:52,333 --> 00:30:56,073 Like, do I, I mean, do I need to try knitting? 607 00:30:56,623 --> 00:31:00,123 Just so you guys can see me, like, leaning back here with my, 608 00:31:00,163 --> 00:31:03,823 I don't know, you know, like, I'm, I'm, I'm in this with you, Matt. 609 00:31:03,823 --> 00:31:07,833 I want, I want to solve for this, but, like, I also want to recognize, 610 00:31:07,883 --> 00:31:10,763 you know, like, my needs too, and that's, that's the hard part is that, 611 00:31:10,763 --> 00:31:15,233 like, your needs in this are very, very valid, especially to your point, 612 00:31:15,243 --> 00:31:16,803 like, your type is inattentiveness. 613 00:31:16,803 --> 00:31:19,713 So there's things that I'm doing that are taking you out of the moment. 614 00:31:20,143 --> 00:31:21,653 My type is impulsivity. 615 00:31:21,653 --> 00:31:24,553 So I need to be stimulated at all given times. 616 00:31:24,553 --> 00:31:26,943 I need the energy to go somewhere. 617 00:31:27,548 --> 00:31:30,998 So, how do we find a place that my energy can go that then doesn't 618 00:31:30,998 --> 00:31:32,338 detract your inattentiveness? 619 00:31:32,618 --> 00:31:33,901 Like, that's not fair. 620 00:31:34,528 --> 00:31:39,158 Is it me saying like, hey, everybody, I am picking up my iPad so I can open my 621 00:31:39,158 --> 00:31:44,398 coloring app because I want to because that's the thing is sometimes that repeat 622 00:31:44,418 --> 00:31:46,438 activity does help me listen better. 623 00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:47,407 Matt: yeah. 624 00:31:47,448 --> 00:31:48,998 AK!: be less of a chaos gremlin, 625 00:31:49,367 --> 00:31:49,867 Matt: Yes. 626 00:31:50,737 --> 00:31:51,028 Yes. 627 00:31:51,328 --> 00:31:51,818 AK!: you know? 628 00:31:52,287 --> 00:31:53,617 Matt: I absolutely get it. 629 00:31:53,627 --> 00:31:56,527 And, and I, and there are situations where I do it too. 630 00:31:57,357 --> 00:32:01,997 And so, uh, this, you know, this podcast may be one of 631 00:32:01,997 --> 00:32:03,587 those situations where we don't 632 00:32:04,028 --> 00:32:04,488 AK!: Yeah. 633 00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:07,347 Matt: but here's one question that I have. 634 00:32:07,347 --> 00:32:09,197 So you have no notifications. 635 00:32:09,367 --> 00:32:13,817 But I wonder if, if I knew that you definitely weren't 636 00:32:14,847 --> 00:32:17,557 engaged in something else. 637 00:32:17,897 --> 00:32:20,637 Like, sometimes sometimes you will laugh, and I know that you're 638 00:32:20,637 --> 00:32:24,927 laughing at social media, even, even if you have been playing the 639 00:32:25,135 --> 00:32:25,483 AK!: Yeah. 640 00:32:25,543 --> 00:32:25,953 Yeah. 641 00:32:26,507 --> 00:32:30,427 Matt: So, I wonder how much of a, is a, pull If, If we agree that 642 00:32:30,427 --> 00:32:32,907 playing the game is, is is normal. 643 00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:34,097 It's stimming. 644 00:32:34,757 --> 00:32:37,777 Social media can't possibly belong to that same 645 00:32:37,778 --> 00:32:41,518 AK!: No, that's yeah, that's something I need to, yeah, that's 646 00:32:41,518 --> 00:32:42,718 something I'm willing to give up 647 00:32:42,728 --> 00:32:42,898 for 648 00:32:42,898 --> 00:32:43,378 sure. 649 00:32:44,098 --> 00:32:44,458 Yeah. 650 00:32:45,627 --> 00:32:48,177 Matt: And I think that is like a freaky easy fix. 651 00:32:48,177 --> 00:32:49,977 We create a focus mode for you. 652 00:32:49,997 --> 00:32:51,608 And all it does is, 653 00:32:51,908 --> 00:32:54,228 AK!: all my apps that are not Home Escapes. 654 00:32:54,657 --> 00:32:57,227 Matt: Just, and you can set it for one hour, you can set it 655 00:32:57,227 --> 00:32:59,097 for you could it D&D. 656 00:32:59,257 --> 00:33:04,802 And it's just It'll give you the game, but it'll make it really hard 657 00:33:04,922 --> 00:33:07,012 to access any of the social media 658 00:33:07,113 --> 00:33:11,113 AK!: Yeah, I also wonder too, like, again, like, is there a way to give 659 00:33:11,113 --> 00:33:17,073 a cue without taking you or anybody else out of game of like, uh, I'm here 660 00:33:17,073 --> 00:33:20,673 and I'm having fun, but my eyes are going to wander for a minute or like, 661 00:33:20,923 --> 00:33:23,363 because that thing is like, is it, is it better for me to go off camera? 662 00:33:23,363 --> 00:33:26,213 And those like, sometimes I get the wiggles and that's when I go off camera. 663 00:33:26,728 --> 00:33:30,098 And like, and like in the room, but I'm just like marching in place or like 664 00:33:30,108 --> 00:33:34,838 having a little dance party because like, I am, I mean, like, we talked at 665 00:33:34,838 --> 00:33:38,458 the top of the episode about, like, my ADHD tells I am a 7 year old boy with 666 00:33:38,998 --> 00:33:41,348 attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. 667 00:33:41,348 --> 00:33:41,698 Okay. 668 00:33:41,698 --> 00:33:45,383 Like, I literally have to move energy out of my body in a very physical way. 669 00:33:45,478 --> 00:33:46,238 A lot of the times. 670 00:33:46,703 --> 00:33:50,316 Um, but I wonder, you know, there's like reactions on Zoom and things like that. 671 00:33:50,383 --> 00:33:54,653 If I put, like, if we assign certain reactions, you know, where it's like 672 00:33:54,653 --> 00:33:57,673 the heart eyes react, if I, and you can see it at the top of my screen 673 00:33:57,803 --> 00:34:01,853 that says, I'm here, I'm paying attention, but I'm looking down 674 00:34:01,853 --> 00:34:05,533 because I need a stim, you know, like, could we try something like that? 675 00:34:06,482 --> 00:34:07,242 Matt: Absolutely. 676 00:34:07,302 --> 00:34:08,632 I think that's a great idea. 677 00:34:09,142 --> 00:34:13,062 And, and the, and the mindfulness of it could be really 678 00:34:13,362 --> 00:34:14,813 AK!: Yeah, exactly what I was thinking. 679 00:34:15,292 --> 00:34:16,252 Matt: We all could be 680 00:34:16,343 --> 00:34:19,053 AK!: Because that sets the upfront contract of like, I'm going to look 681 00:34:19,053 --> 00:34:21,933 at my phone now, but I'm not going to look at social media, because I 682 00:34:21,933 --> 00:34:26,483 respect you, my Dungeon Master, I respect my fellow players, now is not 683 00:34:26,483 --> 00:34:27,933 the time to be scrolling Facebook. 684 00:34:28,512 --> 00:34:29,052 Matt: Uh huh. 685 00:34:29,133 --> 00:34:31,303 I gotta stim, I gotta stim, you guys, I gotta stim! 686 00:34:32,997 --> 00:34:37,657 I mean, when we're playing in person, those beautiful times, very few of them, 687 00:34:37,657 --> 00:34:42,457 but when we get to, and you stand up and start dancing around, never bothers me. 688 00:34:42,517 --> 00:34:43,657 Never takes me out. 689 00:34:43,767 --> 00:34:45,597 Never distracts me. 690 00:34:46,233 --> 00:34:51,247 Because you are dancing, but you're still looking at us. 691 00:34:51,257 --> 00:34:51,977 You're there. 692 00:34:52,017 --> 00:34:52,877 I can tell. 693 00:34:52,887 --> 00:34:53,407 You know, it's 694 00:34:53,533 --> 00:34:53,973 AK!: yeah, 695 00:34:54,807 --> 00:35:00,747 Matt: uh, Another thing that I will say, this is, this is a more costly situation, 696 00:35:00,757 --> 00:35:08,087 but one thing that I think helped me enormously, and especially virtual 697 00:35:09,087 --> 00:35:11,085 experiences, is getting a teleprompter. 698 00:35:12,165 --> 00:35:13,435 Because I'm looking at you. 699 00:35:13,555 --> 00:35:14,865 I am looking at you right now. 700 00:35:14,875 --> 00:35:14,910 I'm 701 00:35:15,210 --> 00:35:18,010 AK!: Yeah, see, I'm having to look down and then up to my camera, 702 00:35:18,380 --> 00:35:18,610 okay. 703 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,200 Matt: You're looking down and you could look at any 704 00:35:21,735 --> 00:35:24,045 AK!: my dice are all down here and they are so damn pretty. 705 00:35:24,045 --> 00:35:27,275 And every second I look down is an exercise and not picking 706 00:35:27,275 --> 00:35:28,355 up my dice and rolling them. 707 00:35:28,405 --> 00:35:29,215 It's so hard. 708 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:34,170 Matt: But, under the table, this thing has been spinning for, how long have 709 00:35:34,190 --> 00:35:36,840 we been, for 56 minutes and 48 seconds. 710 00:35:36,890 --> 00:35:37,820 This has just been spinning. 711 00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:38,487 Right? 712 00:35:38,710 --> 00:35:40,100 That, that's fine. 713 00:35:40,300 --> 00:35:45,750 But I know, I know that I'm respecting you by looking into my camera 714 00:35:45,780 --> 00:35:47,680 because of this, this teleprompter. 715 00:35:47,820 --> 00:35:50,929 And I'm just like, and it really helps me. 716 00:35:50,935 --> 00:35:51,389 AK!: Yeah. 717 00:35:51,759 --> 00:35:53,009 Because I'll say this too, 718 00:35:53,249 --> 00:35:58,839 like, I know for a fact that, like, For me, a lot of it, especially 719 00:35:58,839 --> 00:36:02,339 the social media aspect of it has to be kind of cold turkey. 720 00:36:02,789 --> 00:36:05,719 This is why when I go for walks, I don't take my phone at all. 721 00:36:06,229 --> 00:36:10,999 It's why I stopped wearing an Apple watch because like, that was in my brain, like, 722 00:36:10,999 --> 00:36:17,919 the 1 time of day that, like, I can't, but I can't be trusted when I'm on a walk 723 00:36:17,919 --> 00:36:19,389 to not pull my phone out of my pocket. 724 00:36:19,929 --> 00:36:22,489 I can't be trusted to not see if I have any notifications. 725 00:36:23,279 --> 00:36:26,769 So the only way, that's why when I've needed breaks from social media, I've 726 00:36:26,769 --> 00:36:30,579 had to just remove myself from the platforms temporarily because I can't 727 00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:33,709 be trusted to only use it for, you know, and so it was like, use the timer. 728 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,719 I'm like, no, because I'm an adult, so I'll go around the timer. 729 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:39,399 So like, so I would say this, there's, there's, I think 730 00:36:39,399 --> 00:36:40,519 we've come up with some ways. 731 00:36:40,539 --> 00:36:43,919 I like the teleprompter idea, manifest some money for that 732 00:36:43,919 --> 00:36:45,864 to come sit on top of my, 733 00:36:46,554 --> 00:36:49,544 um, yeah, please join our Patreon so Alison can afford 734 00:36:50,054 --> 00:36:51,834 a ding ding teleprompter. 735 00:36:51,844 --> 00:36:52,574 Yes. 736 00:36:53,034 --> 00:36:59,204 Um, I, let's, let's practice hopefully as soon as a Sunday with like, using 737 00:36:59,204 --> 00:37:04,084 reactions as statuses, almost just to kind of give you a, you know, I'm 738 00:37:04,084 --> 00:37:07,164 getting fidgety versus like, I'm paying attention, but just need to look down. 739 00:37:07,814 --> 00:37:11,774 And then, um, you know, the other, I would say this just to you, Matt, 740 00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:14,824 as my friend, and any of my friends who may be listening, or anybody 741 00:37:14,824 --> 00:37:18,204 who this episode has resonated with and wants to know how to approach 742 00:37:18,204 --> 00:37:20,004 the subject with someone they love 743 00:37:20,774 --> 00:37:22,594 If we need to have a no phone dinner. 744 00:37:23,229 --> 00:37:25,369 Like, you just have to tell me that. 745 00:37:25,799 --> 00:37:30,179 Because a lot of, like, and that's the thing, I know I am not the only one who 746 00:37:30,189 --> 00:37:34,689 just, like, without even realizing it, pulls up their phone and starts scrolling. 747 00:37:34,749 --> 00:37:37,929 A lot of times I will purposefully have my phone in my pocket at dinner or on 748 00:37:37,929 --> 00:37:41,389 the table, but like you, the second I see somebody else pull out their phone, that 749 00:37:41,389 --> 00:37:43,069 is an invitation for me to do the same. 750 00:37:43,299 --> 00:37:45,729 And then it's hard to to peel it away. 751 00:37:45,919 --> 00:37:49,389 And I know, like, none of us ever want to, like, come down on each other and be 752 00:37:49,389 --> 00:37:51,480 like, Alison, you can't be on your phone. 753 00:37:52,009 --> 00:37:56,109 But, If it's important to you that you have my rapt attention. 754 00:37:56,569 --> 00:37:57,079 I'll do it. 755 00:37:57,429 --> 00:37:58,829 I just need to know about it. 756 00:37:59,149 --> 00:38:02,039 And I need you to be willing to go there with me. 757 00:38:02,079 --> 00:38:02,999 I'm not saying that to you, Matt. 758 00:38:02,999 --> 00:38:05,379 I know you will always have a no phone dinner with me, but 759 00:38:07,309 --> 00:38:07,639 but my 760 00:38:07,695 --> 00:38:10,755 Matt: I mean, look, if you're in a marriage, or if you're in a relationship 761 00:38:10,765 --> 00:38:17,485 of any kind, and it does not in any way distract or bother each other that 762 00:38:17,485 --> 00:38:21,715 you're on your phones, I have no problem. 763 00:38:21,775 --> 00:38:22,536 I've just, yeah, 764 00:38:22,836 --> 00:38:25,366 AK!: have a friend and I won't name names, but I remember at 765 00:38:25,366 --> 00:38:26,356 one point we were hanging out. 766 00:38:26,356 --> 00:38:29,126 I realized we were just like, sitting, I think we were like, traveling somewhere, 767 00:38:29,126 --> 00:38:33,776 but we were like, we'd had like a day of doing and seeing and eating and exploring. 768 00:38:33,776 --> 00:38:37,436 And we were like, in our room before dinner, just playing 769 00:38:37,436 --> 00:38:38,616 on like, both on our beds. 770 00:38:38,765 --> 00:38:39,046 Just 771 00:38:39,065 --> 00:38:39,435 Matt: mhm. 772 00:38:39,866 --> 00:38:41,936 AK!: and at one point, like, I felt the need to apologize. 773 00:38:41,996 --> 00:38:44,416 I was like, and she was like, girl, my favorite friends are the ones I can 774 00:38:44,416 --> 00:38:45,746 sit around and scroll my phone with. 775 00:38:46,136 --> 00:38:50,196 There is some level of comfort of being with the people that you can't, you 776 00:38:50,196 --> 00:38:53,456 don't need to, it's, it's, it's the new, you know, kind of soft silence 777 00:38:53,456 --> 00:38:54,736 where we don't need to be entertained. 778 00:38:54,736 --> 00:38:57,636 All that's like, you scroll your phone, I scroll my phone. 779 00:38:57,806 --> 00:39:01,776 So, I know you're not saying any of that, but I think you've raised some excellent 780 00:39:02,546 --> 00:39:06,006 points in, like, the ways that it can be harmful and the ways that we can't 781 00:39:06,006 --> 00:39:09,046 help each other, um, in the moment. 782 00:39:09,126 --> 00:39:09,786 Um, 783 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:13,510 Matt: think, Okay, so I'll tie this back to D&D and I'll tie this back, 784 00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:20,780 you know, just really the one situation where I have ever felt as a friend 785 00:39:20,780 --> 00:39:22,280 to say something to you, right? 786 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:27,897 That, playing a game the way that I like to play the games, because 787 00:39:28,347 --> 00:39:31,517 Lord knows there's a billion ways to play Dungeons & Dragons, okay? 788 00:39:31,727 --> 00:39:37,913 But the way that I know we all love to play is is kind of a performance, and 789 00:39:37,913 --> 00:39:39,413 I think that's a part of it for me. 790 00:39:39,473 --> 00:39:45,623 It's like a beautiful combination of a performance, like an improv show 791 00:39:46,043 --> 00:39:51,753 without any of the stress and strain caring about an audience But it is 792 00:39:51,753 --> 00:39:55,328 a for me, and I'm like trying to do all these things, and it applies to 793 00:39:55,328 --> 00:39:56,898 you too, because you do the same work. 794 00:39:57,268 --> 00:40:06,048 Like, to me, it just feels like I need to, I need to live in this 795 00:40:06,048 --> 00:40:07,754 world for the next three hours, hours 796 00:40:07,765 --> 00:40:08,539 AK!: You're method, baby. 797 00:40:09,238 --> 00:40:09,348 Matt: Yeah. 798 00:40:09,348 --> 00:40:10,418 I'm method, baby. 799 00:40:10,805 --> 00:40:15,120 So that's the only time that I would want to see if, if it's 800 00:40:15,130 --> 00:40:17,315 possible to make some changes. 801 00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:19,945 To even be able to say that to your friends. 802 00:40:20,315 --> 00:40:24,765 And I'm saying now to people listening, like, if, if you're in a situation 803 00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:25,855 and there's things that just really, 804 00:40:26,241 --> 00:40:26,601 AK!: Mm hmm. 805 00:40:26,601 --> 00:40:27,061 Matter. 806 00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:28,105 Matt: feel strongly about. 807 00:40:28,115 --> 00:40:32,595 Just talk to them and allow them to be as cool as AK is, right? 808 00:40:32,765 --> 00:40:34,205 And, and to say, Yeah. 809 00:40:34,205 --> 00:40:34,395 Yeah. 810 00:40:34,465 --> 00:40:35,295 I know it's a thing. 811 00:40:35,655 --> 00:40:36,465 I also love it. 812 00:40:36,531 --> 00:40:38,781 but I respect you and also I love you. 813 00:40:38,801 --> 00:40:40,241 So, like, whatever. 814 00:40:40,241 --> 00:40:41,161 Let's, let's work it out. 815 00:40:41,327 --> 00:40:42,437 AK!: Hey, Matt, guess what? 816 00:40:42,851 --> 00:40:43,121 Matt: What? 817 00:40:43,421 --> 00:40:48,467 AK!: Even with you calling me into the principal's office today to have 818 00:40:48,467 --> 00:40:50,107 a very serious conversation with me, 819 00:40:50,211 --> 00:40:51,181 Matt: Mm 820 00:40:51,481 --> 00:40:55,057 AK!: going behind my back to my friends with my express idea and permission, 821 00:40:55,661 --> 00:40:56,041 Matt: With your 822 00:40:56,207 --> 00:41:00,557 AK!: to be clear, Everybody that Matt went to, he was given permission and it 823 00:41:00,557 --> 00:41:02,537 was my idea for him to poll my friends. 824 00:41:02,537 --> 00:41:03,227 But anyways, I 825 00:41:03,376 --> 00:41:06,906 Matt: I, I mean, here's the best news, your friends do love you. 826 00:41:07,292 --> 00:41:08,832 AK!: They do and I love my friends. 827 00:41:08,832 --> 00:41:12,002 I hit the jackpot. 828 00:41:12,856 --> 00:41:13,566 Matt: You, have a loyal 829 00:41:13,692 --> 00:41:15,182 AK!: I'll take them all day every day. 830 00:41:15,182 --> 00:41:18,052 I am so thankful and grateful for them and you are in that number. 831 00:41:20,535 --> 00:41:21,055 did good. 832 00:41:21,745 --> 00:41:22,925 Another intervention 833 00:41:23,670 --> 00:41:25,695 Matt: We're putting ourselves into the hot seat 834 00:41:25,995 --> 00:41:27,945 AK!: for you. 835 00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:33,050 Um, well, thank you for doing the work, doing the research, coming 836 00:41:33,050 --> 00:41:37,900 here, ready to be part of the active solution to our problems, 837 00:41:38,289 --> 00:41:38,639 Matt: Yeah. 838 00:41:38,990 --> 00:41:42,680 AK!: um, and for greeting me in the spirit that I know you meant it of, 839 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:46,100 like, collaboration and harmony. 840 00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:47,959 Time 841 00:41:48,259 --> 00:41:49,099 Matt: it really is. 842 00:41:49,209 --> 00:41:49,849 It really is. 843 00:41:49,869 --> 00:41:53,699 It is a journey, everybody, and I am happy to be on that journey with everybody. 844 00:41:53,709 --> 00:41:58,519 Yesterday was World Mental Health Day, and I really truly was grateful 845 00:41:59,049 --> 00:42:02,399 to so many people in my life. 846 00:42:03,129 --> 00:42:07,949 Uh, yes, I've made ADHD my personality and TTRPGs, but, 847 00:42:08,569 --> 00:42:13,169 uh, I am so happy that I have. 848 00:42:13,519 --> 00:42:14,884 And it is a journey. 849 00:42:15,994 --> 00:42:19,274 I mean, I don't know how I lasted this long without doing 850 00:42:19,274 --> 00:42:22,484 so, because it's, it's so great. 851 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,340 AK!: is a weird soup though, man, 852 00:42:25,744 --> 00:42:26,484 Matt: It sure is. 853 00:42:27,224 --> 00:42:28,244 Time, time, only, one 854 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:33,340 AK!: you know, time, wibbly wobbly, timely wimely, um, but we got here and 855 00:42:33,710 --> 00:42:35,240 now it seems like we never weren't. 856 00:42:36,274 --> 00:42:36,614 Matt: It's true. 857 00:42:37,634 --> 00:42:39,524 So, until next episode. 858 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:40,439 AK!: Da da da 859 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:40,670 da 860 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,860 daaa, and now we make some 861 00:42:43,860 --> 00:42:46,270 weird mouth noises, and we dance 862 00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:49,539 with our tiny hands, la la la la. 863 00:42:52,924 --> 00:42:57,444 Matt: ADHD20 is a creation from the Pocket Dimension, a multiverse 864 00:42:57,454 --> 00:42:59,624 where we explore neurospice, 865 00:42:59,624 --> 00:43:00,744 Alison: rolling dice, 866 00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:02,724 Matt: and so much more. 867 00:43:02,928 --> 00:43:05,648 Come chat with us in our Discord server, open to all. 868 00:43:05,648 --> 00:43:07,668 The join link is in our show notes. 869 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,200 Alison: Ready to level up your support? 870 00:43:09,510 --> 00:43:10,010 Check out 871 00:43:10,010 --> 00:43:14,070 The Pocket Dimension's Patreon, where you can get access to bonus content, be 872 00:43:14,070 --> 00:43:19,010 the first to hear new episodes, and even play TTRPGs with us and our friends. 873 00:43:19,073 --> 00:43:21,743 Matt: The best way you can help us, though, is just to share the 874 00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:25,313 gift of ADHD20 with the people that you think will like it. 875 00:43:25,313 --> 00:43:27,063 Alison: We love that you're here. 876 00:43:27,273 --> 00:43:30,083 Thank you for entering The Pocket Dimension.