Fast Times at Ridgemont High: What do I say to her once we get in the car?
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: No problem, Rat. What you need is my special five-point plan.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Come on, Damone, I need real help here.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: What do you mean? Hey, men have died trying to obtain this valuable information, you know.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: But I'll give it to you for free.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Okay, okay, what's your five-point plan?
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: All right.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Now pay attention.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: First of all, Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Oh, Dabby. Hi.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Two, you always call the shots.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Kiss me. You won't regret it.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Now, three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Isn't this great?
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: It's a classy move.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: A lady will have the linguine and white clam sauce and a Coke with no ice.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: And five.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Now this is most important, Rat.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Comes down to making out whenever possible.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Put on side one of Led Zeppelin Forum.
Gary Hill: Hello, folks, and welcome once again to another episode of the Cinema Beef Podcast.
Gary Hill: I'm one of your hosts, Gary Hill.
Gary Hill: With me tonight is one Suzanne Cappelletti.
Gary Hill: How you doing, babe?
Suzanne: Oh, I think we've discussed this
Suzanne: but not as happy
Suzanne: as I wish I could be right now
Gary Hill: Well, Suzanne, you know
Gary Hill: sometimes the world
Gary Hill: makes you fall on a stair and
Gary Hill: just bust your arm
Gary Hill: and sometimes
Gary Hill: you know, where's the line go?
Gary Hill: Sometimes you're the dog
Gary Hill: and sometimes you're the hydrant
Gary Hill: I don't know
Jeffrey X: Sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug
Jeffrey X: There you go
Suzanne: But I was
Suzanne: kind of the hydrant
Suzanne: if you can consider when I was
Suzanne: playing with Nara and she knocked out
Suzanne: four of my teeth.
Gary Hill: So you're like a hydrant player?
Suzanne: Oh no, got that shit repaired
Suzanne: immediately.
Jeffrey X: Is Nara your dog or like a stripper from
Suzanne: Vegas? That's my dog.
Suzanne: That's my Great Dane baby.
Jeffrey X: Oh shit. Ain't no Great
Jeffrey X: Dane babies. Those fuckers are big.
Suzanne: Oh yeah, she's about
Suzanne: 125 right now, but she's
Suzanne: a smaller... She's kind of the runt,
Suzanne: so she's a little smaller, but she's not small.
Jeffrey X: Can't confirm that for sure.
Jeffrey X: Y'all dog people freak me out.
Suzanne: Also a cat person
Suzanne: and a snake person and a lizard person.
Suzanne: I like animals. I don't like people.
Gary Hill: Yes, she does. Yes, she does. No, she don't.
Gary Hill: With us at Yurtim talking in the background, so I'll probably introduce him.
Gary Hill: Jeffrey X. Martin is here as well. How you doing, sir?
Jeffrey X: I am well.
Gary Hill: And Dutchess is here, too.
Suzanne: Thank God, somebody is.
Gary Hill: Say hello to Dutchess, too. She's here, too.
Jeffrey X: What's up, Dutchess?
Jeffrey X: My cats are here, too. CD and Twitch are here. You'll hear them running around.
Gary Hill: Yes, indeed. Like cats do. Yes, indeed.
Gary Hill: Keep this cool real loose, you know, because that's the way this show is.
Gary Hill: I'll ask my one co-host, Jeffrey X. Martin, what's he been watching lately?
Jeffrey X: Well, nothing, and let me tell you why.
Jeffrey X: My external hard drive died yesterday.
Jeffrey X: And that was a two-terabyte drive that had all my movies and all my music
Jeffrey X: and my books and my articles on it.
Jeffrey X: And pictures, oh, yes.
Jeffrey X: So now I got nothing.
Jeffrey X: let's see here
Jeffrey X: streaming wise though
Jeffrey X: what was the last thing I watched besides what we covered tonight
Jeffrey X: I've been keeping a list
Jeffrey X: of every movie that I've watched this year
Jeffrey X: on my phone
Jeffrey X: just because at the end of the year
Jeffrey X: I'm going to be like
Jeffrey X: did I actually see that piece of shit?
Jeffrey X: I don't remember
Jeffrey X: so the last thing I watched was
Jeffrey X: oh gods y'all
Jeffrey X: the movie is called
Jeffrey X: We Might Hurt Each Other
Jeffrey X: it is a Swedish slasher movie
Jeffrey X: and I gotta tell you
Jeffrey X: it's the dumbest fucking thing I've seen
Jeffrey X: in years
Jeffrey X: every person in that movie is an idiot
Jeffrey X: they all make terrible decisions
Jeffrey X: they all die in horrible ways
Jeffrey X: and it's their own fault
Jeffrey X: they don't run away from the killer
Jeffrey X: they run toward him
Jeffrey X: why would you do that
Jeffrey X: unless it's the third act
Jeffrey X: and you're the final girl
Jeffrey X: no, everyone
Jeffrey X: there's one point
Jeffrey X: I swear to crap
Jeffrey X: they try to run away so five of them
Jeffrey X: get into a car
Jeffrey X: that won't start but they don't get
Jeffrey X: out of the car
Jeffrey X: so the person who is the killer
Jeffrey X: just punches through the windows
Jeffrey X: and murders all of them
Jeffrey X: are you fucking kidding me
Jeffrey X: why don't you have reflexes
Jeffrey X: so anyway
Gary Hill: that's the last thing I watched
Gary Hill: reminds me of that commercial
Gary Hill: I forget what commercial it's for
Gary Hill: but you know where they're
Gary Hill: let's hide behind the chainsaws
Jeffrey X: the insurance commercial
Gary Hill: I buy the chainsaws
Gary Hill: I buy the running car
Gary Hill: it's so good
Jeffrey X: so anyway I watched that
Jeffrey X: you should not
Suzanne: thank you for your suffering
Jeffrey X: I feel like a martyr
Jeffrey X: I should be canonized
Gary Hill: anything else
Gary Hill: could be a good sir
Jeffrey X: no actually
Jeffrey X: and I've probably talked about this before
Jeffrey X: but my
Jeffrey X: comfort watch
Jeffrey X: when there's nothing else on or I don't have time to get involved
Jeffrey X: in a movie is the
Jeffrey X: Iron Chef channel on Pluto TV
Jeffrey X: and I will just watch Japanese
Jeffrey X: Iron Chef because
Jeffrey X: I love it ever so much it's just like
Jeffrey X: this is battle I don't know
Jeffrey X: fish testicles
Jeffrey X: and the judges are like
Jeffrey X: it's very nice
Jeffrey X: the flavor is
Jeffrey X: really flavorful
Jeffrey X: and I can taste
Jeffrey X: I can taste the fish
Jeffrey X: It's ridiculous, I love it
Jeffrey X: I watch it all the time, and that's it
Suzanne: Oh my god
Suzanne: It is amazing, isn't it?
Suzanne: I love that channel
Jeffrey X: I do too, it's on all the time
Jeffrey X: My wife comes home from work
Jeffrey X: She's like, what are you watching?
Jeffrey X: Oh, is this Battle Scallops?
Jeffrey X: I'm like, yeah, bae
Jeffrey X: Sit down, we're going to town
Suzanne: Oh my god
Suzanne: There was one on Netflix
Suzanne: A couple of years ago
Suzanne: and I can't even remember what the hell
Suzanne: the stupid premise was
Suzanne: but one of the ingredients
Suzanne: was English peas
Suzanne: and one of the women who was
Suzanne: just like I'm not getting that penis
Suzanne: I'm in tears
Suzanne: on the couch
Suzanne: I'm just not getting that
Suzanne: that pea
Suzanne: that she realized
Suzanne: flavor
Suzanne: no you just said you couldn't taste the penis
Suzanne: that was in tears
Suzanne: that was dying
Suzanne: It was amazing.
Jeffrey X: She must have gone to Catholic school.
Gary Hill: Oh, my God.
Gary Hill: Susan, what have you been watching, girl?
Gary Hill: Oh, I actually did it.
Gary Hill: Besides the penis, you know, you were watching that, you know.
Suzanne: Oh, I gotta watch the penis.
Suzanne: No, I actually broke down.
Suzanne: I watched Bratz.
Suzanne: I, from day one, I've never liked Andrew McCarthy.
Suzanne: He just never was one of those characters or actor.
Suzanne: He was a good actor.
Suzanne: Never appealed to me.
Suzanne: And now I was completely correct in my assumption.
Suzanne: He is a fucking whiny bitch.
Suzanne: But I will say this, Emilio, a little bit on the stockier side, but Emilio still looks fucking amazing.
Suzanne: And this was just him wandering through crying about how much he hated the label of the Brat Pack.
Suzanne: It is worth a watch.
Suzanne: I mean, especially my era.
Suzanne: I grew up on all of those movies.
Suzanne: But he is a crybaby.
Suzanne: Oh, my God.
Suzanne: There's a reason I never liked him, and I was correct.
Suzanne: And the other thing I have been watching, several, oh, my God, like mid-90s when Apollo 13 came out, HBO did this little series called From the Earth to the Moon.
Suzanne: And there are a bunch of like one hour episodes about various things that were taking place in the program.
Suzanne: And it's streaming on Macs.
Suzanne: And if you're into that kind of thing, totally recommend it.
Suzanne: When it first came out, maybe I bought the series.
Suzanne: This is probably the second or third time through for me, but I'm just kind of enjoying going through.
Suzanne: episode by episode and kind of reliving all of these because I mean,
Suzanne: just the,
Suzanne: the cast of actors that they had just like it's,
Suzanne: you actually feel like you're back in the sixties is all of these things are
Suzanne: going on.
Suzanne: Totally recommend it.
Suzanne: And then past like,
Suzanne: well,
Suzanne: what about moonshot?
Suzanne: That was the thing that remember Barry Corbin,
Suzanne: who played the astronaut on Northern exposure.
Suzanne: He narrated this little kind of, you know, miniseries about the lunar landings and the missions, which, of course, doesn't exist anywhere except on a VHS tape for way too much money on Amazon.
Suzanne: If anybody's actually hearing this, Moonshot, somebody do something with this, for fuck's sake.
Suzanne: It's fucking great.
Suzanne: I can't stand
Suzanne: if you show me naked and afraid one more time
Suzanne: I'm going to go strip you and throw you in the middle
Suzanne: of downtown Chicago
Suzanne: but that's what I've been watching
Jeffrey X: Would anyone notice if you did that?
Suzanne: Probably not
Suzanne: They'd probably get mugged anyway
Suzanne: and they'd probably shove their hand up his ass
Suzanne: seeing if he had any money heading up there
Jeffrey X: Yeah
Jeffrey X: That's what they do, that's how they're tricky
Suzanne: Watch out for the people running around
Suzanne: with nooses
Suzanne: some ass
Gary Hill: hey turn you the puppets come on now
Gary Hill: oh my god people are
Gary Hill: what have they been watching
Gary Hill: not a ton of new stuff
Gary Hill: I watched
Gary Hill: again it's documentary time
Gary Hill: I sat down but I guess
Gary Hill: I wanted to
Gary Hill: I was looking for a cry I really didn't get one
Gary Hill: because it was very positive all the way through
Gary Hill: even in the end
Gary Hill: remembering Gene Wilder is a documentary
Gary Hill: on Netflix now
Gary Hill: about the life of Gene of course
Gary Hill: and where he came from and his career and his relationship with Gilda
Gary Hill: and his wife before he passed away.
Gary Hill: And it's very well done.
Gary Hill: It's pretty much narrated completely by him through some kind of audio
Gary Hill: describing his career and his life.
Gary Hill: And, you know, so that's, you know, you get the talking heads you want on there.
Gary Hill: And Mel Brooks is on there, of course, talking about his friend.
Gary Hill: And, you know, the ones that are still alive, of course.
Gary Hill: totally worked her time.
Gary Hill: Paired well,
Gary Hill: like a fine meat and cheese
Gary Hill: combo
Gary Hill: with Love, Gilda, which is another
Gary Hill: documentary about
Gary Hill: Gilda Ryder's life, which is
Gary Hill: slightly more sadder.
Gary Hill: It's a lot more sadder, actually, because
Gary Hill: it's actually told through
Gary Hill: audio tapes and
Gary Hill: diaries that she had
Gary Hill: chronicled and kept.
Gary Hill: So she literally
Gary Hill: narrates her whole thing
Gary Hill: through her career
Gary Hill: and her struggles with her bulimia
Gary Hill: and just sickness in general
Gary Hill: and that's very
Gary Hill: well made but it's literally
Gary Hill: her own story is told by
Gary Hill: her that's what makes the Love Guild
Gary Hill: documentary really special
Gary Hill: in my opinion
Gary Hill: sad stuff
Gary Hill: but again
Gary Hill: very positive stuff though
Gary Hill: they try to keep it as positive
Gary Hill: as they possibly can
Gary Hill: you know, until the end where
Gary Hill: Regine
Gary Hill: Alzheimer's gets worse and worse
Gary Hill: and he can't do anything anymore
Gary Hill: and yeah, even then he's smiling
Gary Hill: with the dogs, which makes me
Gary Hill: happy.
Gary Hill: Oh my gosh.
Gary Hill: I was talking X on this
Gary Hill: because I'm trying to sell X on this movie
Gary Hill: because we're going to do it on the show eventually.
Gary Hill: So I would talk a whole lot about it.
Gary Hill: I got a search for
Gary Hill: Bobby Fischer on Laserdisc, so I
Gary Hill: had to watch it and I told X it
Gary Hill: I watched it today, and I was too late to flip the disc over,
Gary Hill: so I watched the second half of that movie a good four times
Gary Hill: while I was editing the podcast and other stuff.
Gary Hill: It just stayed on.
Gary Hill: I've never seen it.
Jeffrey X: I've never seen that movie.
Suzanne: I haven't either.
Gary Hill: It's a great film, great supporting cast, great, great themes.
Gary Hill: We'll talk all about this when we do it eventually.
Jeffrey X: Apparently, we're still searching for it.
Gary Hill: We're still searching for Bobby Fischer.
Gary Hill: a film that's not about Bobby Fisher, people.
Gary Hill: That's another film.
Gary Hill: What was that called?
Gary Hill: Pawn Sacrifice is a film about Bobby Fisher
Gary Hill: and that has
Gary Hill: Liam Shriver in it.
Gary Hill: It's actually pretty decent, actually.
Gary Hill: Go look for both of those movies.
Gary Hill: It will really make you rude
Gary Hill: for a kid to lose.
Gary Hill: Not the kid that you should be loving
Gary Hill: in the movie, but the little bastard
Gary Hill: he has to play.
Gary Hill: You're really rude for that kid to lose
Gary Hill: in search of Bobby Fisher.
Gary Hill: If you really want to root it, I guess a 10-year-old to lose a chess, just go watch that movie.
Gary Hill: It's phenomenal.
Jeffrey X: I have to say, that's one of the things that I appreciate about you, Gary, is that you will watch stuff like Searching for Bobby Fischer, and I'm watching Island of the Fishmen.
Gary Hill: And that's fine.
Gary Hill: Those are two different things, you know, two very different things.
Gary Hill: I will bore you with the context, but I got Riverdale for like 20 bucks one day for the whole series.
Gary Hill: And I missed the last couple of seasons.
Gary Hill: So I've been rewatching my Canadian melodrama and been enjoying myself with it.
Gary Hill: I fall into these shows, people.
Gary Hill: I can't help it.
Gary Hill: Like Pretty Little Liars.
Gary Hill: You would think of something that would appeal to me.
Gary Hill: But, you know, Pretty Rich Girls, you know, murdering, getting any murder plots involved.
Gary Hill: I'm there for it for some reason.
Gary Hill: I blame Degrassi Jr. High for my low Canadian melodrama.
Gary Hill: I blame this because it's something that was on public television,
Gary Hill: and we didn't have cable, so we watched a lot of it.
Gary Hill: So it's that, you know?
Gary Hill: Are the girls in wheelchairs?
Gary Hill: No, no, no.
Gary Hill: No Drake?
Gary Hill: That's New Degrassi, man.
Gary Hill: Come on now.
Gary Hill: Oh, God.
Gary Hill: I'm talking about like bad, like
Gary Hill: square pegs era.
Gary Hill: Degrassi Jr. High.
Jeffrey X: Dude, I can't tell my Degrassi from a hole
Jeffrey X: in the ground.
Gary Hill: So I'm not going to bore you too much with the
Gary Hill: exploits of Archie and Jughead and, you know,
Gary Hill: Veronica and Betty and her
Gary Hill: magical ponytail.
Gary Hill: I got to see it in person. It was...
Gary Hill: Oh, my God.
Gary Hill: I was smitten. I was smitten, brother.
Gary Hill: I'm thinking about right now,
Gary Hill: Betty's ponytail. I dream about the goddamn
Gary Hill: thing. But
Gary Hill: I'm sure there's other stuff. I guess
Gary Hill: NHL, Stanley Cup
Gary Hill: finals, hockey
Suzanne: was very exciting. I watched K7.
Gary Hill: It was very exciting. It was very exciting this year.
Suzanne: Yeah, it was. I'm so
Suzanne: sorry I did not watch that. Yeah, they did.
Suzanne: But I'm so sorry I missed a lot of those games
Suzanne: because it was some amazing hockey. Yeah.
Gary Hill: It makes me happy that it's still alive and well.
Jeffrey X: Did you see the guy eating pasta out of the Stanley Cup?
Jeffrey X: I don't even know who that was because I don't follow hockey.
Jeffrey X: I was just like, God damn, what are you doing with that Chef Bayardee shit?
Gary Hill: Hey, a little fun fact about me.
Gary Hill: My sister thinks this is very disgusting,
Gary Hill: but I still eat SpaghettiOs out of the can without heating them up.
Gary Hill: You know, it's one of those things.
Gary Hill: I'm aware of that.
Gary Hill: Now, Suzanne, I'm aware it's not real spaghetti.
Gary Hill: I just happen to enjoy it, okay?
Gary Hill: You know?
Suzanne: Like I said, to each his own.
Suzanne: I, yeah, I bought a can.
Suzanne: I was feeling nostalgic.
Suzanne: Pat was out of town.
Suzanne: I'm like, oh, you don't want to be really good for lunch, a can of SpaghettiOs.
Suzanne: So I got myself a can of SpaghettiOs, put it in a pot, heated it up, a little salt, a little popper, a little parm.
Suzanne: It was fucking terrible.
Gary Hill: What you're doing is you're expecting more out of something so minuscule.
Gary Hill: and I think that's your fault
Gary Hill: that you did not enjoy the SpaghettiOs
Jeffrey X: I don't think Cootie Bug and I have heated up
Jeffrey X: baked beans in like five years
Jeffrey X: just straight from the can
Gary Hill: my friend Suzanne
Gary Hill: she likes to
Gary Hill: cook delicious food
Gary Hill: and I think she was expecting more
Gary Hill: out of a can of SpaghettiOs
Gary Hill: and I myself am liking a can of SpaghettiOs
Gary Hill: I expect
Gary Hill: very little of myself
Gary Hill: much like that can of SpaghettiOs
Gary Hill: which I'm sure is processed at a factory
Gary Hill: somewhere and maybe
Gary Hill: have a slight tinge of tomato in it
Gary Hill: but you know what god damn it
Gary Hill: it's like fucking Lucky Charms or
Gary Hill: you know those disgusting
Gary Hill: little hugs you used to drink
Gary Hill: as a kid
Gary Hill: they took all the
Gary Hill: sugar out of them which is a bastard thing
Gary Hill: to me
Suzanne: that's blasphemy
Suzanne: that was the point of those things
Suzanne: It was like concentrated sugar
Suzanne: that would make you climb the freaking
Suzanne: walls for hours.
Gary Hill: Well, next time you're in the hood, and I'm sure you'll find
Gary Hill: the hood somewhere, Suzanne, go into
Gary Hill: one of those Arab gas stations. I'm sure they
Gary Hill: have one of those things.
Gary Hill: Go buy a little hug and just
Gary Hill: feel disappointment.
Jeffrey X: It's like you put vodka in it.
Gary Hill: It has no taste.
Gary Hill: It tastes like...
Suzanne: That's what flavored vodka is for.
Gary Hill: My grandfather
Gary Hill: so she would make Kool-Aid with saccharin in it
Gary Hill: instead of sugar.
Gary Hill: That's kind of what it tastes like.
Gary Hill: Or like if somebody took a little hug
Gary Hill: and mixed it together with vitamin water
Gary Hill: and it has that strange aftertaste to it.
Gary Hill: That's what it tastes like now.
Jeffrey X: It tastes like if somebody sucked on a Lifesaver
Jeffrey X: and then spit.
Gary Hill: By the way, they ruined high C as well.
Gary Hill: I used to enjoy putting those high C's in the freezer than just eating them with a spoon.
Gary Hill: But all the sugar is sucked out of those, too.
Gary Hill: But, you know, here's a trade secret.
Gary Hill: You go to McDonald's and you get the orange high C, it still tastes like the real thing.
Suzanne: So does the Hawaiian Punch.
Suzanne: Does it really?
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: And so does the Hawaiian Punch.
Suzanne: Well, Hawaiian Punch has not tasted the same since they put it in a plastic container.
Suzanne: No, you need that aluminum taste.
Suzanne: That is where the flavor is.
Gary Hill: They knocked the sugar out of the Hawaiian Punch, too.
Gary Hill: We're talking about drinks from when we were kids on this show, and I really don't care.
Gary Hill: But again, trade secret.
Gary Hill: Go to McDonald's and get the Hawaiian Punch at McDonald's.
Gary Hill: It still tastes like the real thing.
Gary Hill: You know?
Gary Hill: Here's the thing.
Jeffrey X: It's summer.
Jeffrey X: I don't know if you can get it up where y'all live, but down here, we rely on Milo's tea.
Jeffrey X: And Milo's does a half tea, half lemonade on an Arnold.
Jeffrey X: I can't say it.
Jeffrey X: I can't say his name.
Jeffrey X: Arnold Palmer.
Jeffrey X: That is, okay.
Jeffrey X: Arnold Palmer.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, thank you.
Jeffrey X: But, yeah, if you can find the Milo's Half Lemonade Half Sweet Tea, that is the elixir of life.
Jeffrey X: That is just, that is sandworm bile, and it will get you through anything.
Jeffrey X: It's so good.
Suzanne: Because Tennessee Heat, because I live there, Tennessee Heat is not to be trifled with.
Jeffrey X: Thank you.
Jeffrey X: And my wife, she's out in that all day.
Jeffrey X: We do get that around here.
Gary Hill: I do enjoy the half and half and the Milo's extra sweet tea.
Gary Hill: You might get fucking diabetes from it just by drinking it,
Gary Hill: but it is quite good, the extra sweet tea.
Suzanne: And honestly, the Milo's, the Milo's lemonade,
Suzanne: me and my friend will go through gallons of it
Suzanne: and apparently gallons of fucking vodka with it,
Suzanne: but that is the bomb lemonade.
Jeffrey X: And here's the funny thing.
Jeffrey X: It's because, you know,
Jeffrey X: Cootie grew up watching Ghostbusters 2
Jeffrey X: more than Ghostbusters,
Jeffrey X: so we call it Milos.
Jeffrey X: We call it Milos.
Jeffrey X: Oh, my God.
Jeffrey X: First, it's like the buzzing of flies.
Gary Hill: That's Vigo.
Gary Hill: You were like the buzzing of flies to him.
Gary Hill: Enough of that action.
Gary Hill: And we're here tonight to do a show that Suzanne's been wanting to do for a very long time.
Gary Hill: And spiritual sequels to each other, I guess.
Gary Hill: We are doing The Wildlife from 1984, which is written by Cameron Crowe.
Gary Hill: And we're doing Fast Times Ridge Run High, which is also written by Cameron Crowe based on his book.
Gary Hill: We're going to start these in order, I think.
Gary Hill: Because I think it's important to do that.
Gary Hill: with Fast Times at Ridgemont High,
Gary Hill: from the wonderful year, the best year.
Gary Hill: They're making a documentary about this year, too,
Gary Hill: for film, for 1982, right after this lovely trailer.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Universal Pictures presents
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: everything you always wanted to do in high school
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: with everyone you always wanted to do it with.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Hey, bud, let's party.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: They're the students of Ridgemont High.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Brad Hamilton, the fast food king.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: I shall serve no fries before their time.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: It says 100% guaranteed, you moron.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Listen, if you don't shut up, I'm going to kick 100% of your ass.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Charles Jefferson, a man with a mission.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Oh, gnarly.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Linda Barrett, not exactly the girl next door.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Awesome. Totally awesome.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: And Jeff surfs up Spicoli.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: People on moods should not drive.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: That was my skull.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: I'm so wasted.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: see Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Gary Hill: Fast Times at Ridgemont High from 1982.
Gary Hill: Cheap applause and options is this.
Gary Hill: A group of Southern California high school students
Gary Hill: are enjoying their most important subjects,
Gary Hill: sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Gary Hill: That's real fucking cheap, IMDB, but you're welcome.
Gary Hill: directed by Amy Heckerling
Gary Hill: who's made many things
Gary Hill: that I enjoy. Let me
Gary Hill: click on her thing right now.
Gary Hill: Clueless, of course,
Gary Hill: I enjoy very much.
Gary Hill: Look Who's Talking, of course.
Gary Hill: There's more. She did
Gary Hill: the Western Civilization 2
Gary Hill: or she did all of them?
Suzanne: No, no, no, that was
Suzanne: Penelope Spirits.
Gary Hill: I got mixed up, see?
Gary Hill: I'm getting my female directors mixed up.
Gary Hill: But yeah, she makes stuff I enjoy.
Gary Hill: written by Cameron Crowe
Gary Hill: who you know has done many many things
Gary Hill: featuring
Gary Hill: one of the biggest 80s cast
Gary Hill: every 80s casted
Gary Hill: Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli
Gary Hill: Jennifer Jason Leigh as Stacey Hamilton
Gary Hill: Judge Reinhold as Brad Hamilton
Gary Hill: Robert Romanus
Gary Hill: as Mike Damone
Gary Hill: Brian Backer as Rat
Gary Hill: Phoebe Cates as Linda
Gary Hill: Ray Wallace as Mr. Hand
Gary Hill: Scott Thompson as Arnold
Gary Hill: who you may know from the Police Academy series.
Gary Hill: The great
Gary Hill: Vincent Chiavelli as Mr. Vargas.
Gary Hill: Amanda Weiss, you know,
Gary Hill: from stuff like Megyn Elm Street
Gary Hill: and Better Off Dead.
Gary Hill: Forrest Whitaker as Charles Jefferson.
Gary Hill: This film contains one of the best
Gary Hill: football scenes that ever existed.
Gary Hill: Kelly Maroney
Gary Hill: shows up as Cindy. Eric
Gary Hill: Stoltz shows up as Spicoli's buddy
Gary Hill: and so does Anthony Edwards.
Gary Hill: I will save him
Gary Hill: for the last right now. Great.
Gary Hill: Sonny Carl Davis, because he's a Charlie Band guy,
Gary Hill: shows up as the guy in the restaurant that wants the money back for his breakfast.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: Love that guy and everything he's ever done.
Gary Hill: That's that guy that's not Reggie Bannister, but he looks like Reggie Bannister.
Gary Hill: You know this guy if you're a genre film fan.
Suzanne: Oh, yeah.
Gary Hill: Oh, my gosh.
Gary Hill: But this is Suzanne's choice.
Gary Hill: I'm going to kick it to X first.
Gary Hill: X, your thoughts on Fast Times and Ridgemont High.
Jeffrey X: There are reasons that Fast Times and Ridgemont High works.
Jeffrey X: And even today, I mean, there are things that make it dated, obviously.
Jeffrey X: But Fast Times deals with universal themes.
Jeffrey X: Challenging authority, betrayal, egotistical behavior,
Jeffrey X: Stoners and nerds and jocks and the awkwardness of first sexual experiences, especially if they're with the assistant manager of a stereo store.
Jeffrey X: Terrible breakups.
Jeffrey X: Archetypes.
Jeffrey X: All recognizable situations.
Jeffrey X: So people in fast times are almost adults?
Jeffrey X: Not quite.
Jeffrey X: They don't have the nuances down.
Jeffrey X: And they're still learning how to play the game.
Jeffrey X: And I think it's that earnestness that really makes Fast Times work.
Jeffrey X: And it sets it apart from those other teen comedies in the 80s.
Jeffrey X: There's not a whole lot of wackiness in Fast Times.
Jeffrey X: You know what I mean?
Jeffrey X: It's just these are kids dealing with adult situations that they've pretty much brought upon themselves.
Jeffrey X: So things get convoluted in a realistic and grounded way and not a slapstick sort of way.
Jeffrey X: There's no pie throwing.
Jeffrey X: There's no showing girl panties to the other guys in the bathroom.
Jeffrey X: This is a documentation of the latchkey kids.
Jeffrey X: And this is the generation I grew up in.
Jeffrey X: There's only one parent to be seen in the entire movie.
Jeffrey X: So Fast Times was just, this is young Gen X, right?
Jeffrey X: Just like when we raised ourselves.
Jeffrey X: When you left 80s kids to themselves, shit went down.
Jeffrey X: And maybe it hasn't changed that much.
Jeffrey X: I don't know.
Jeffrey X: But dude, I remember when you could smoke in arcades.
Jeffrey X: I remember arcades.
Jeffrey X: I remember when you could smoke in cinemas.
Jeffrey X: And you could sit in a restaurant with no shirt on.
Jeffrey X: I remember when concert tickets were that cheap.
Jeffrey X: I remember when chicks tried to look like Pat Benatar.
Jeffrey X: Good grief.
Jeffrey X: It was the Thunderdome out there.
Jeffrey X: And if you were lucky, if you were lucky, you found some other mariners out there who were just drifting along as aimlessly as you, and you helped each other make it through.
Jeffrey X: And then high school ended, and most of us never saw each other again.
Jeffrey X: So, yeah, but there are elements that date Fast Times, but these themes are ancient and eternal.
Jeffrey X: And that is why this movie holds up.
Jeffrey X: Regardless of your age, there is something to it that you can relate to.
Jeffrey X: Cootie does not like, I always refer to her because, you know, soulmates and whatever.
Jeffrey X: But she doesn't like teen comedy.
Jeffrey X: She hates John Hughes shit.
Jeffrey X: But I'm like, you would probably really like Fast Times at Ridgemont High because it's grounded.
Jeffrey X: And it feels real.
Jeffrey X: And there's no one named Long Duck Dong.
Jeffrey X: So I think that she would really like it.
Jeffrey X: And I really like it.
Jeffrey X: I think it's an outstanding film.
Jeffrey X: Just a great, great dramedy.
Jeffrey X: And I hate that word, but it's a dramedy.
Jeffrey X: But yeah, everybody loves this.
Jeffrey X: You should love this movie.
Jeffrey X: Also, the soundtrack fucking slaps, and fucking Nicolas Cage shows up a couple of times.
Gary Hill: Yep.
Jeffrey X: Eric Stoltz is there, and then he's in the next movie playing another character from this movie, but I'll talk about that later.
Jeffrey X: But for me, the best part of Fast Times is Pamela Springsteen and Kelly Maroney as cheerleaders.
Jeffrey X: Fuck yes.
Jeffrey X: That is Sleepaway Camp and Night of the Comet right there.
Jeffrey X: Bada boom.
Jeffrey X: There's your crossover.
Jeffrey X: Love it.
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Jeffrey X: Fast times rules.
Gary Hill: And by the way, I will defend the donger, you know, for as long as I live.
Gary Hill: Because that guy, you know, for as racially inappropriate as it is, he's the only one that gets the girl early.
Gary Hill: He's probably the only one that gets lucky in that entire movie.
Gary Hill: I'm sure the dog is getting it
Gary Hill: from his large athletic girlfriend
Gary Hill: you know
Jeffrey X: Did Farmer Ted not get lucky?
Jeffrey X: I don't think so
Jeffrey X: I honestly don't remember, it's been years since I've seen that movie
Gary Hill: Farmer Ted, you get a driver home
Gary Hill: but he didn't really touch her
Gary Hill: I wouldn't think
Jeffrey X: That poor son of a bitch
Gary Hill: Suzanne, go for it girl
Suzanne: Oh my god, this is
Suzanne: Honestly, I could not
Suzanne: say my thoughts
Suzanne: any better than X did
Suzanne: because the thing about this movie
Suzanne: A, it doesn't take itself too seriously
Suzanne: but it's incredibly realistic.
Suzanne: We've all been in some of those situations
Suzanne: especially us ancient ass Xers.
Suzanne: We were left to our own devices
Suzanne: We were left to our devices
Suzanne: far too young.
Suzanne: By eight years old, I had a list of chores that I had to do after I got home from school.
Suzanne: You know, I let myself in.
Suzanne: I made myself a snack.
Suzanne: I did my Hallmark.
Suzanne: Then I'd run the vacuum or do a couple of little tasks around the house.
Suzanne: And then after all of that was done, maybe I got to go hang out outside for a while.
Suzanne: But every part of this movie is, like I said, right down to the breakdown of all the clicks.
Suzanne: I mean, about the time I was in eighth grade, it shifted from Pat Benatar to Madonna.
Suzanne: So I was in school with a bunch of the Madonna wannabes.
Jeffrey X: I'm older.
Suzanne: Oh, really?
Suzanne: I think the Pat Benatars would have been a lot more fun.
Suzanne: But I was dealing with the Madonna wannabes.
Jeffrey X: The Madonnas didn't hit for me until I went into high school.
Jeffrey X: That's hilarious.
Suzanne: Yeah, I was, like I said, this was about eighth grade when all of the Madonna, seventh, eighth grade when the Madonna stuff hit.
Suzanne: Then all of a sudden somebody would show up with a lace glove and then by, you know, mid eighth grade.
Suzanne: Oh, my God.
Suzanne: People were getting sent to the office for trying.
Suzanne: They would have to wear T-shirts under these stupid ass lace, you know, the bustiers.
Jeffrey X: Yeah.
Suzanne: Oh, my God, people really.
Suzanne: And I guess I've always been cutting a little bit more gothy in my heart.
Suzanne: You know, I throw on my fluorescent shactor striped shirt in a pair of fluorescent socks and jellies.
Suzanne: But, you know, hey, that was the fashion at the time.
Suzanne: No accounting for taste.
Suzanne: No, don't forget to parachute pants.
Suzanne: But it is everything about it.
Suzanne: It's very real.
Suzanne: It is.
Suzanne: And once again, I'm at that age.
Suzanne: I remember going to the arcade.
Suzanne: I remember those ashtrays at McDonald's.
Suzanne: I remember being 15 years old and buying cigarettes and no one gave a shit.
Jeffrey X: Dude, I bought cigarettes and booze and clove cigarettes at 15 and nobody gave a shit.
Suzanne: Exactly.
Suzanne: The only thing that was really weird, we couldn't buy alcohol.
Suzanne: So we had drugs.
Suzanne: Yay.
Suzanne: We had our Spicolis.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, and I had friends who were like, bruv, what do you need? Let me go in here and grab that for you. We're cool.
Suzanne: Yeah, and the other thing that was funny is when I went to, for the first time I went in to see one of our local cannabis, just whatever the fuck they're called.
Jeffrey X: Dispensary.
Suzanne: And the dispensary, thank you.
Suzanne: And I'm like, dude, when I was like 16 years old, you'd go someplace sketchy.
Suzanne: You'd probably get into a car with somebody who was sketchier to go someplace else because they weren't holding.
Suzanne: So, yeah, how did we even live?
Suzanne: I don't know.
Jeffrey X: I never did.
Jeffrey X: By the gods, I did so much.
Suzanne: No, I did my fair share of drinking, too.
Suzanne: the beer of choice when I was in high school
Suzanne: was Milwaukee's best because you
Suzanne: could get a case
Suzanne: for like $6.99
Suzanne: so you could throw pocket money in
Suzanne: which reminded me of the scene while
Suzanne: they're sitting in All-American Burger
Suzanne: I have a
Suzanne: lint and a nickel
Suzanne: I have a cigarette
Suzanne: I have
Suzanne: Uno de Nero
Jeffrey X: Let me tell you
Jeffrey X: I love you, but I need to tell a story real quick, because when I was in high school, which is about the same time, this came in on 84.
Jeffrey X: I would have been a freshman in high school at that time.
Jeffrey X: My drink of choice is what I called Happy Juice.
Jeffrey X: And Happy Juice was Seagram's 7 and 7 mixed with Jolt Cola.
Jeffrey X: I am amazed that I'm still alive, but that's what I did, was happy juice, man.
Jeffrey X: And I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Suzanne: Oh, my God.
Suzanne: A couple of girls.
Suzanne: If you want to have the worst concoction ever, one of the girls that I was hanging out with got this brilliant idea to mix Southern Comfort and orange juice.
Suzanne: It tasted like vomit.
Suzanne: Don't ever mix Southern and orange juice.
Suzanne: Vomit.
Jeffrey X: The only Southern comfort I deal with is a Walter Hill movie.
Suzanne: That's probably the best choice.
Jeffrey X: All right.
Jeffrey X: I'm sorry.
Jeffrey X: I've interrupted.
Jeffrey X: Go ahead.
Suzanne: Oh, no.
Suzanne: Well, this one, I can seriously wax poetic on this forever.
Suzanne: There's just so many, you know, like I said, you nailed everything.
Suzanne: perfectly and very eloquently.
Suzanne: But it does sum up this movie.
Suzanne: This is the 80s movie.
Suzanne: This is the one that...
Suzanne: I agree.
Suzanne: I've watched all the John Hughes movies.
Suzanne: They're just a little too saccharine for me.
Suzanne: Everyone who knows me knows I prefer things
Suzanne: that are just a little bit more, I guess, dark.
Suzanne: Because you have to admit, on top of,
Suzanne: as you said, it's a dramedy.
Suzanne: But there's like a little tinge of darkness to so much of it.
Suzanne: I mean, when he decides when he's going to break up with his girlfriend, then she turns like, I think it's that we've hit that time.
Suzanne: It's time for us to move on.
Suzanne: But I need you now.
Suzanne: And he was getting ready to break up with her.
Suzanne: And I mean, just the going to the point.
Suzanne: I mean, come on.
Suzanne: And then the encounter with the moan.
Suzanne: It's awkward and sad, and we even have Linda who, okay, let's just say it out loud.
Suzanne: I think everybody who's ever seen the movie, this is probably the most well-known boob scene in all of filmdom.
Jeffrey X: Hey, those tips were moving in stereo.
Suzanne: But it's just...
Gary Hill: Yes, I did.
Suzanne: Yeah, I know.
Suzanne: I was waiting.
Suzanne: I was waiting and I knew somebody would pick it up.
Suzanne: But man, female, everyone knows that scene.
Suzanne: There's so much about the movie that's iconic.
Suzanne: I hate using that word because I feel like it's battered around quite a bit lately.
Suzanne: And it shouldn't be.
Suzanne: But it's a real down-to-earth what the 80s were like growing up.
Suzanne: I mean how many people did you know at 14, 15
Suzanne: That had part time jobs
Suzanne: Lots of us did
Jeffrey X: At the mall
Suzanne: Of course we did
Suzanne: You know I swear to god my first job
Suzanne: Was at a fucking coffee shop at the mall
Suzanne: And I was like 15 or 16
Jeffrey X: My first job was at a cinema
Jeffrey X: At the mall
Jeffrey X: Oh you were a rat
Suzanne: You were a rat
Jeffrey X: I was totally a rat dude
Suzanne: The interesting thing to me about this movie
Jeffrey X: He's watching the downfall of Brad Hamilton, Judge Reinhold's character, to see him.
Jeffrey X: I'm a single, independent dude.
Jeffrey X: And then he loses his job and his woman and his shitty fucking car.
Jeffrey X: It's gorgeous.
Jeffrey X: This asshole just completely bottomed out.
Jeffrey X: Because you have to figure he peaked in high school, right?
Jeffrey X: But that didn't last real long.
Jeffrey X: It's amazing.
Suzanne: I mean, you have to admit, when it came time for him to step up and be a good big brother, he did.
Jeffrey X: True, true, true.
Suzanne: He was, you know, he was an asshole.
Suzanne: He was a little bit, and you know what?
Suzanne: Pride comes before a fall.
Suzanne: So he did have to take a tumble, but he was, he did end up being the manager of the Mighty March after he thwarted the robbery.
Jeffrey X: Good for you.
Suzanne: Good on you, Brian.
Suzanne: and i mean i've had teachers like mr hands who required you have this list and rigid rules
Suzanne: but you know when it came down to the end you know they were always there pulling for you it's all
Suzanne: realistic i have to admit one of my favorite things out of this movie is also it's got to be when
Suzanne: the first big tumble for Brad when he gets fired.
Suzanne: And his manager comes down like,
Suzanne: did you threaten this man and use profanity?
Suzanne: Well, yes.
Suzanne: Oh, my God.
Suzanne: If my boss ever heard me talk to people that got out of hand,
Suzanne: do you know how many times that would have been asked?
Suzanne: Did you threaten this person and use profanity?
Suzanne: Yeah.
Suzanne: And I also told them they didn't get out of here.
Suzanne: I was going to beat them to death with a baseball bat
Suzanne: to call the police and tell them that they attacked me first.
Suzanne: There you go.
Suzanne: Yeah, it's just one of those movies.
Suzanne: It sums up that point in time.
Suzanne: And I don't think it's...
Suzanne: I mean, times have definitely changed,
Suzanne: but I don't think that the core themes of the movie ever will.
Jeffrey X: I agree.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, because they're eternal and archetypal.
Jeffrey X: Yes, I agree with that completely.
Jeffrey X: Hi, we've just gone off. How you doing, Gary?
Jeffrey X: You want to talk about...
Suzanne: Hi, Gary.
Gary Hill: I wouldn't have my view button on because people were talking.
Gary Hill: Yes, they was.
Gary Hill: I, you know, unlike these two, two, two, Remy's,
Gary Hill: was not born, was not in high school in the 1980s.
Gary Hill: I was barely sperm in 1980.
Gary Hill: I was born in December of 1980.
Gary Hill: I get the vibe, I get the love of the movie.
Gary Hill: I do enjoy the hell out of it.
Gary Hill: Like you said, this is a film in the 80s that has, like, real situations in it that really sticks the landing, you know, as far as, like, taking them seriously.
Gary Hill: And there's no pizza on the record player.
Gary Hill: There's no, you know, archetypal.
Gary Hill: You get, like, one scene of, okay, these are the nerds, these are whatever, you know.
Gary Hill: That's about all you get through this whole movie.
Gary Hill: Besides that, they're pretty united as characters, which I can appreciate about a film like this.
Gary Hill: one mistake this film makes
Gary Hill: is that
Gary Hill: it did indeed
Gary Hill: forget the magnetism of Robin Xander
Gary Hill: and the charisma of Rick Wilson
Gary Hill: because there's no cheap trick song
Gary Hill: in the soundtrack
Jeffrey X: dude I didn't realize that but you're absolutely correct
Jeffrey X: where was Surrender in this
Jeffrey X: Surrender should have been in this film
Suzanne: I want you to want me
Suzanne: should have been in this
Gary Hill: yeah fun times
Gary Hill: I enjoy it every time I watch it
Gary Hill: I've never been to the gallery in California
Gary Hill: but if I watch films like this
Gary Hill: and Commando it's like I've been there
Gary Hill: I can put it that way
Gary Hill: That's right
Jeffrey X: I saw that mall
Gary Hill: But yeah
Gary Hill: I'll have to say
Gary Hill: lots of young faces that you see
Gary Hill: young Forrest Whitaker
Gary Hill: but before he became
Gary Hill: to make fun of
Gary Hill: Forrest Whitaker looking up here
Gary Hill: looking down there with the eye
Jeffrey X: Let me say this. Let me interrupt you because I have a point.
Jeffrey X: In this movie, Forrest Whitaker's eye is not lazy.
Jeffrey X: It's just unmotivated.
Gary Hill: He plays Charles Jefferson.
Gary Hill: The star of the football player.
Gary Hill: Of the film.
Gary Hill: I mentioned the football scene. I'm not lying.
Gary Hill: The football action you see in this movie after
Gary Hill: his car gets busted up by Spicoli
Gary Hill: and his little brother.
Suzanne: I got tools.
Suzanne: My dad's a TV repairman.
Gary Hill: Yeah, that's just fucking mad.
Suzanne: I'm sorry, Gary.
Gary Hill: That's okay.
Gary Hill: I'm having issues here, too.
Gary Hill: But yeah, it's like a perfect
Gary Hill: Hayes movie in a sense.
Gary Hill: It gives a little bit of realism.
Gary Hill: Whereas you've got films like this
Gary Hill: and films like The Last American Version,
Gary Hill: which kind of touches on, like, the seriousness of being a teenager, you know, but it gets silly, too.
Gary Hill: But this is just the right amount of silly.
Gary Hill: And, yes, I did have Mr. Hand in high school.
Gary Hill: He's named Mr. Hayden, and he would do this thing to where you would walk around, and you would say, like,
Gary Hill: Hey, no, no, some of you used the word dude.
Gary Hill: And then Mr. Hayden would go, dude is the hair of an elephant's ass.
Gary Hill: And then, you know, you look it up and indeed the word D-O-O-D, dude, is a hair on an elephant's ass.
Gary Hill: So it's got that going for it.
Gary Hill: You know, my Mr. Hand.
Gary Hill: And, uh, but no, the soundtracks rock and I will say this and Heavy Metal have two of the best Sammy Hagar songs in them.
Gary Hill: The Fast Times, you know, titular Fast Times song.
Gary Hill: And of course, Heavy Metal and Heavy Metal.
Gary Hill: It's pretty wonderful.
Gary Hill: actually use of American Girl
Gary Hill: by one
Gary Hill: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, although
Gary Hill: I usually skip that song now
Gary Hill: because I think Tom Petty's
Gary Hill: ghost is sick of American Girl by now.
Gary Hill: He has to be. He has to be.
Gary Hill: You know.
Gary Hill: There's a lot more to talk
Gary Hill: about. The weirdness
Gary Hill: of Vincent Chevelli
Gary Hill: just, you know, digging around the
Gary Hill: body and, you know,
Gary Hill: he just wishes saying,
Gary Hill: It's so good.
Gary Hill: And like you guys said, a lot of real
Gary Hill: life themes going on in the movie.
Gary Hill: Teen pregnancy
Gary Hill: plays a role in this movie.
Gary Hill: And the douchebag
Gary Hill: that doesn't want
Gary Hill: to help.
Gary Hill: But at the same time,
Gary Hill: Damone, he is trying to help.
Gary Hill: He's trying to get some money together to help her.
Gary Hill: But at the same time,
Gary Hill: Linda, of course, overreacts
Gary Hill: and just lose their fucking mind.
Suzanne: I don't think she overreacted at all.
Suzanne: Well, he was trying to get money together to help her, man.
Jeffrey X: But he didn't.
Suzanne: But he didn't, and he didn't even give her a ride.
Suzanne: Yeah, he's a little prick.
Suzanne: Little prick.
Jeffrey X: I will say this, though, and you are correct,
Jeffrey X: that there are some elements of The Last American Virgin in this movie,
Jeffrey X: which was really based on the old Israeli film series Lemon Popsicle,
Jeffrey X: where a lot of that stuff actually happened.
Jeffrey X: So in some ways, this is a Lemon Popsicle remake,
Jeffrey X: but it's still super good.
Jeffrey X: And Suzanne's right.
Jeffrey X: Motherfucker didn't show up.
Jeffrey X: He didn't come up with the money.
Jeffrey X: He's a piece of shit.
Jeffrey X: And the fact that he and Rat ended up as friends at the end of the movie,
Jeffrey X: I wouldn't have done that.
Jeffrey X: I would have cut that son of a bitch off.
Suzanne: Oh, I would have done.
Suzanne: Totally.
Gary Hill: Well, Rat is weak-willed, and according to the end of the film,
Gary Hill: still a virgin, you know, so he's got that going for him.
Gary Hill: Which is nice.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: He did show some balls in the locker room, though,
Gary Hill: and stuff to his friend, you know, so.
Suzanne: Yeah, he did.
Gary Hill: So I'll give Rat.
Suzanne: I think he's going to take him to moan.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: I'll give Rat that much credit.
Gary Hill: He manned up a bit, you know, for his lady friend
Gary Hill: and against his friend friend, his best friend, supposedly,
Gary Hill: you know but Damone has
Gary Hill: some of the best dialogue in this whole movie
Gary Hill: though
Gary Hill: he's trying to teach Brad how to kick girls
Gary Hill: and he does
Gary Hill: you act like no matter where you are
Gary Hill: that's the place to be
Gary Hill: I love it so much
Gary Hill: talking to the Debbie Harry stand in
Gary Hill: as a cardboard cut out
Suzanne: there's one odd thing in that scene
Suzanne: though
Suzanne: I don't know if anybody noticed it
Suzanne: there is a movie that came out
Suzanne: last year, and there was a sign, so I think I know where they stole the name from.
Suzanne: There's a sign, a neon sign, Licorice Pizza.
Jeffrey X: Licorice Pizza, yep.
Suzanne: Same font, same everything, so I think we know where that title came from.
Gary Hill: Yeah, so the relationship gets trained there, and I appreciate that.
Gary Hill: And like you guys said, the decline of Brad Hamilton, I think that, you know, he was a
Gary Hill: back at first. He came down,
Gary Hill: he had to wear the Captain Hook's
Gary Hill: mission ships outfit, and he was very
Gary Hill: demeaned, but again, came up
Gary Hill: again, because you're
Gary Hill: kind of rooting for him a little bit. Like you guys
Gary Hill: said, he stood up as a big brother, so he kind of
Gary Hill: had that redemption arc with the
Gary Hill: character, so he kind of wanted
Gary Hill: good things to happen for him again.
Jeffrey X: We rooted for him
Jeffrey X: to grow up, and
Jeffrey X: he sort of did, and
Jeffrey X: that's where I'm okay with
Jeffrey X: that character arc.
Gary Hill: yeah this is this is um a phil is filled with great character arcs though and there's nothing
Gary Hill: left behind you know on the table and um i i enjoy uh the 80s of it i enjoy the seriousness of it
Gary Hill: i enjoy what x mentioned that the soundtrack is really good and um yeah it's it's it's a
Gary Hill: it's a it's a must watch if you ever seen it before i and no i do not own this on laser disc yet
Gary Hill: one day.
Gary Hill: I'll leave it at that.
Gary Hill: Final thoughts for Sue.
Gary Hill: What was your final thinking, girl?
Suzanne: Okay, well, there's like one thing
Suzanne: I forgot to mention,
Suzanne: and it will come into play again.
Suzanne: The girl in the Corvette.
Suzanne: I think you guys know who that was.
Jeffrey X: Nancy Wilson.
Suzanne: Who was she?
Suzanne: I don't know if they were married at the time,
Suzanne: but who was she eventually married to?
Jeffrey X: Cameron Crowe.
Suzanne: Cameron Crowe.
Suzanne: Yes.
Suzanne: And I just, like I said, for me,
Suzanne: this movie was very realistic about being a teenager in the early 80s.
Suzanne: It doesn't really,
Suzanne: I don't think there's any movie that epitomizes the turmoil and the
Suzanne: idiocy of that more than this film does.
Suzanne: It's almost perfection.
Jeffrey X: well it's a snapshot
Jeffrey X: you know it's a very clear
Jeffrey X: portal
Jeffrey X: into what things were like
Jeffrey X: at that time
Jeffrey X: because when you're in high school
Jeffrey X: everything is just absolutely
Jeffrey X: fucking important
Jeffrey X: you know
Jeffrey X: you don't look at it as you do years on
Jeffrey X: where it's just like
Jeffrey X: oh well that was just high school shit
Jeffrey X: no this was
Jeffrey X: happening
Jeffrey X: and of course everything was happening to
Jeffrey X: Jennifer Jason Leigh because good
Jeffrey X: lord that girl
Jeffrey X: wanted to lose her innocence more
Jeffrey X: I mean it took her forever
Jeffrey X: to lose her innocence I was just like
Jeffrey X: I need this shit gone and it was gone
Jeffrey X: bye I got rid of that as soon as I
Jeffrey X: could but no
Jeffrey X: she just really
Jeffrey X: everyone in this movie has a sweet
Jeffrey X: heart with the possible
Jeffrey X: exception of Damone
Jeffrey X: that's debatable but
Jeffrey X: they're just trying to grow up man
Jeffrey X: and that's what makes this
Jeffrey X: movie really relatable.
Jeffrey X: We all just tried to grow up.
Jeffrey X: It doesn't matter what decade
Jeffrey X: or what generation you're from,
Jeffrey X: there's something in this movie that you can
Jeffrey X: pull out and be like, oh fuck, that was me.
Suzanne: Well, I mean,
Suzanne: Damone did show heart at the end
Suzanne: when he went and apologized
Suzanne: to Rat
Suzanne: for basically being a horrible friend
Suzanne: and an incredible asshole.
Jeffrey X: Damone can die in a thought.
Suzanne: But I think that's as close as you're going to get.
Jeffrey X: probably so
Jeffrey X: shithead
Gary Hill: not a complete pass but yeah
Gary Hill: I will agree
Gary Hill: but yeah I dig this quite a bit
Gary Hill: it's a high recommend
Gary Hill: from all of us I'm sure
Gary Hill: if you haven't seen Fast Times
Gary Hill: Ridgemont High it exists many many places
Gary Hill: it's streaming on Prime right now
Gary Hill: there's DVDs
Gary Hill: there's special edition Blu-rays
Gary Hill: I kept telling myself
Gary Hill: I'm going to crack open that Criterion
Gary Hill: Fast Times Blu-ray that I own
Gary Hill: and I still didn't do it. I can tell you
Gary Hill: right now that it is
Gary Hill: it is chock full.
Suzanne: That's what, Gary?
Suzanne: I didn't either, but tonight
Suzanne: after we're done, I'm going to go
Suzanne: pull out all of those special features
Suzanne: and sit and watch those.
Gary Hill: It is full of special features.
Gary Hill: And except there's
Gary Hill: a sale, which there's always a sale,
Gary Hill: a Criterion sale coming,
Gary Hill: I recommend you guys pick this up
Gary Hill: because it's worth your time.
Gary Hill: but yeah
Gary Hill: good relationships, good times, good tunes
Gary Hill: what's I to love about a film like this
Gary Hill: it's kind of like
Gary Hill: there's like
Gary Hill: there's a hundred bad ones for one good one
Gary Hill: maybe around this time
Gary Hill: and I can't even
Gary Hill: not a hundred
Gary Hill: I mean did you see a film like
Gary Hill: I want to say I've watched other ones
Gary Hill: that are twice in different time frames
Gary Hill: but this is probably the best
Gary Hill: and the most handled one
Gary Hill: of the 80s without being too sleazy
Gary Hill: about it
Gary Hill: It only has a slight tinge of sleaze.
Gary Hill: And most of it is fucking Damone.
Gary Hill: So he's got that going for him.
Gary Hill: And Rob or Ron, the stereo guy.
Jeffrey X: Completely the inspiration for Ben Affleck's character in Mallrats.
Gary Hill: Indeed.
Gary Hill: Indeed, Ron.
Gary Hill: And if you didn't think Kevin Smith had that in mind, I, yeah.
Gary Hill: Like Ron on steroids.
Jeffrey X: Dude, yes.
Gary Hill: Oh my gosh.
Gary Hill: But we're gonna click over to our next 80s jam,
Gary Hill: the spiritual sequel to this movie,
Gary Hill: as Suzanne says, and probably true,
Gary Hill: she'll explain all this, "The Wildlife" from 1984,
Gary Hill: which we'll get to right through this trailer.
Wild Life Trailer: - Hey, this is America, Bill.
Wild Life Trailer: So I want you to live it up, stud man.
Wild Life Trailer: This is the last summer blast.
Wild Life Trailer: - It's a fast life.
Wild Life Trailer: Great. Party Bill.
Wild Life Trailer: Thanks.
Wild Life Trailer: It's a low life.
Wild Life Trailer: Who wants something?
Wild Life Trailer: I do, I do.
Wild Life Trailer: It's a high life.
Wild Life Trailer: It's a wild life.
Wild Life Trailer: Hi, I'm Bill Conrad, and you are...
Fast Times at Ridgemont High: Not interested.
Wild Life Trailer: If you don't get out of here right now, I'm gonna scream.
Wild Life Trailer: You won't scream.
Wild Life Trailer: I'll scream.
Wild Life Trailer: I want to scream.
Wild Life Trailer: You said you wanted an adventure.
Wild Life Trailer: I just can't believe it's with a car.
Wild Life Trailer: You almost got us killed.
Wild Life Trailer: Hey, as soon as you're scared, you're dead.
Wild Life Trailer: You're the one who needed your freedom.
Wild Life Trailer: Well, I didn't know that was an excuse for you to start going out with the entire male race.
Wild Life Trailer: Born to be wild.
Wild Life Trailer: Now, from the creators of Fast Times at Richmont High,
Wild Life Trailer: comes something even faster.
Wild Life Trailer: Do you like to be my roommate?
Wild Life Trailer: I thought you'd never ask.
Wild Life Trailer: They're doing it.
Wild Life Trailer: It's casual.
Wild Life Trailer: They're saying it.
Wild Life Trailer: It's casual.
Wild Life Trailer: They're living the wildlife.
Wild Life Trailer: It's casual.
Gary Hill: The wildlife from 1984 has a horrible plot synopsis here from the IMDb.
Gary Hill: A high school wrestler parties with his buddy at a swinging singles apartment complex.
Gary Hill: fucking weak sauce shit imdb uh this is directed by art linson who only directed one other thing
Gary Hill: which is um where the buffalo roam which is like the first hunter s thompson film
Gary Hill: with uh bill murray and i think i think randy quaid's in that movie i forget now it's been so
Gary Hill: long since i've seen it no you're right you're right okay um he produced a whole bunch of good
Jeffrey X: shit though so there's that didn't he produce the untouchables diploma's untouchables yeah
Suzanne: yeah he was also the one of the producers on fast time oh shit was he yeah my gosh
Jeffrey X: i associate linson with the untouchables because i love that movie ever so much but okay well of
Gary Hill: course written by cameron crow again um i wouldn't say a lesser 80s cast but a pretty good 80s cast
Gary Hill: nonetheless, because this film has Lee Ving
Gary Hill: in it, so I guess that makes it infinitely
Gary Hill: better than any cast.
Gary Hill: The time where
Gary Hill: you made you think that Chris Penn was a sexy
Gary Hill: man, Chris Penn stars this
Gary Hill: film as Tom, the
Gary Hill: bohung jack who wears weights
Gary Hill: out his head while he does set-ups.
Gary Hill: Elon
Gary Hill: Michael Smith, who you will know from stuff
Gary Hill: like The Chocolate War, and of course
Gary Hill: as Wyatt Donnelly from Weird Science
Gary Hill: as Jim Conrad.
Gary Hill: Eric Stoltz as Bill Conrad
Gary Hill: I was forced to watch
Gary Hill: the Fly 2 trailer while I was
Gary Hill: waiting while I had this window
Gary Hill: open so you know
Jeffrey X: I like the Fly 2
Gary Hill: you just get sad about that dog all over again though
Gary Hill: it's a Fly 2 doesn't it
Gary Hill: you know
Gary Hill: like hey hey hey Brundle man
Gary Hill: you got this dog and we're just gonna fuck it up
Gary Hill: for you and just break
Gary Hill: the audience's heart I digress
Gary Hill: though Jenny Wright
Gary Hill: as Eileen
Gary Hill: doesn't get come down in this movie
Gary Hill: like the actual Eileen
Gary Hill: you may know her from Near Dark
Gary Hill: Leah Thompson who may get come down
Gary Hill: in this movie because she's banging a cop
Gary Hill: she plays Anita
Gary Hill: in this movie which is
Gary Hill: Bill's squeeze
Gary Hill: Rick Moranis as a
Gary Hill: bigger douchebag than he was in Streets of Fire
Gary Hill: as Harry
Gary Hill: the guy who owns the clothing store
Gary Hill: runs the clothing store
Gary Hill: that old Jenny Wright works at.
Jeffrey X: You lead Streets of Fire out of this,
Jeffrey X: because that movie is a stone-cold classic.
Jeffrey X: It is a good movie.
Gary Hill: I'm just saying he plays an asshole in it,
Gary Hill: so there's that.
Gary Hill: Hart Bochter,
Gary Hill: if you don't know the name,
Gary Hill: you know the person.
Gary Hill: He is Hans Boobie,
Gary Hill: I'm Your White Knight.
Gary Hill: He's that guy from Die Hard.
Gary Hill: Yes.
Gary Hill: He's in this movie.
Gary Hill: And back to PCU again,
Gary Hill: He directed PCU,
Gary Hill: old Hart Bachner right there.
Gary Hill: He's in a bunch of stuff, though.
Gary Hill: I mentioned Lee Bing.
Gary Hill: He's in this movie.
Gary Hill: Randy Quaid,
Gary Hill: and I could have swore
Gary Hill: that Dennis Hopper was in this movie,
Gary Hill: but I'm thinking of the wrong 80s melodrama.
Gary Hill: That was River's Edge,
Gary Hill: where Dennis Hopper played the crazy
Gary Hill: Vietnam friend who lived in the house
Gary Hill: that they were obsessed with.
Gary Hill: Angel Salazar,
Gary Hill: he'd known for many things, including Scarface.
Gary Hill: I'm just going to get right into this
Gary Hill: I had a much better time
Gary Hill: the second time I watched this than the first time
Gary Hill: I'll kick it to Suzanne first
Gary Hill: what are your thoughts on The Wild Side
Suzanne: babe? I'll be honest
Suzanne: I just
Suzanne: I remember watching it when it first hit
Suzanne: God help me VHS
Suzanne: and I went and rented it
Suzanne: I enjoyed it then
Suzanne: I watched it
Suzanne: a few months ago when we were going to
Suzanne: do this another time
Suzanne: I'm like no I don't know I just maybe I'm missing something so you know watched it again last night
Suzanne: it's just to me it's not a good movie I the characters I mean you know how in fast times
Suzanne: I'm going to be drawing a lot of parallels here it's probably not a good thing but we're rolling
Suzanne: with it anyway they're not as real they're they are pretty much cardboard cutouts of what real
Suzanne: people are and i'm just gonna throw this out here which may be one of the things that as i've gotten
Suzanne: older that my distaste for i don't like eric stoltz he's always got that like smarmy wannabe
Suzanne: nice guy bullshit going on i don't like him i don't like his character i really
Suzanne: i mean i guess now for this one for me just it does not hold stand it doesn't hold up at all
Suzanne: him going in getting that apartment my god i've talked to many of my friends who have been
Suzanne: trying to find new apartments now and yeah that was never ever gonna happen um none of the characters
Suzanne: are likable.
Suzanne: Even
Suzanne: Anita and Eileen,
Suzanne: they're just kind of
Suzanne: bitchy. And Anita is trying
Suzanne: to be this really sweet,
Suzanne: having her first
Suzanne: real kind of adventurous
Suzanne: thing going on.
Suzanne: And it just comes off
Suzanne: as fake.
Suzanne: I mean, there are a few moments
Suzanne: that the movie has that I find
Suzanne: intriguing, but to be
Suzanne: honest, it's trash.
Suzanne: and once again we do have a Nancy Wilson
Suzanne: cameo were you guys paying attention
Suzanne: to it
Jeffrey X: yes Nancy Wilson
Suzanne: she is the cop that
Suzanne: Anita's banging wife
Suzanne: she's literally on screen
Suzanne: for maybe
Suzanne: 15 seconds
Jeffrey X: oh dude
Suzanne: and
Suzanne: Randy Quaid's character
Suzanne: is
Suzanne: once again for me the whole thing we all knew
Suzanne: that one person that was a little bit too obsessed with Vietnam and maybe hung out with somebody that
Suzanne: was a vet that was also a junkie that was about the I think the only stand-up performance in this
Suzanne: for me was that brief the brief bits with Randy Quaid and to be honest I loved leaving he was
Suzanne: the perfect cable installer and i love the fact that he called her a pussy i just i don't like
Suzanne: any of these people i don't care about them their situations are absurd at best the there's no
Suzanne: heart to the story it's it's a very very poor representation and i really don't think it
Suzanne: should ever have been made. I really
Suzanne: have to admit, I don't know if Cameron Crowe
Suzanne: did this for the money.
Suzanne: God, he was trying to make a lightning
Suzanne: strike twice, and it just
Suzanne: was never going to happen.
Suzanne: But there's just very little likable about it.
Suzanne: Like I said, the two
Suzanne: things in the movie I liked, oh yeah, there is one other
Suzanne: weird little thing, because I kept
Suzanne: looking at this scene. Okay, do you remember
Suzanne: when they break through?
Suzanne: Spoiler alert! When they break
Suzanne: into the, they knock down the wall
Suzanne: into his neighbor's apartment.
Suzanne: and those people go
Suzanne: go in the fridge
Suzanne: one of the guys
Suzanne: there was
Suzanne: Ron Wood
Suzanne: so for me I think I spent
Suzanne: most of my time saying is that who I think
Suzanne: it is and trying
Suzanne: not to hate the characters as much as
Suzanne: I actually do
Suzanne: for me it does not
Suzanne: hold up there is no
Suzanne: character there's no
Suzanne: it's like I said
Suzanne: it's cheap cardboard cutouts of
Suzanne: real people. I don't like
Suzanne: it. And like I said, Eric Stoltz's
Suzanne: character is a fucking asshole.
Suzanne: I would punch that
Suzanne: motherfucker in the throat.
Suzanne: He's so smarmy.
Suzanne: He's just, he's
Suzanne: not, he's
Suzanne: no balls. He was a pussy.
Suzanne: I don't like it. I really just
Suzanne: don't, I don't like this movie
Suzanne: at all. Maybe after you
Suzanne: guys have a few things to say, I might find
Suzanne: one or two other things that
Suzanne: I don't hate with a burning passion
Suzanne: but it's bad
Gary Hill: Fair enough
Gary Hill: Thanks
Jeffrey X: Everything good about
Jeffrey X: Fast Times is
Jeffrey X: stupid in about the wildlife
Jeffrey X: There's not a single
Jeffrey X: likable character
Jeffrey X: in this movie
Jeffrey X: except for Hart
Jeffrey X: Bokner's porn stash
Jeffrey X: Okay
Jeffrey X: Maybe
Jeffrey X: She's okay.
Jeffrey X: But Chris Penn plays a different version of Jeff Spicoli, who his brother played in Fast Times.
Jeffrey X: Except this guy is manipulative and insensitive.
Jeffrey X: Leah Thompson hooks up with an older guy before going back to the rat, I mean, Eric Stoltz.
Jeffrey X: Elon Mitchell Smith comes two clicks away from being a Columbine role model.
Jeffrey X: Jenny Wright forgives Chris Penn's character for being a slavering jackal before he puts her in his car against her will.
Jeffrey X: Rick Moranis is a mall creeper with Ghostbusters 2 Janosch hair.
Jeffrey X: And why is there so much cigarette eating?
Jeffrey X: It happens three times in this movie.
Jeffrey X: In the entire decade of the 1980s, I saw it happen in real life once.
Jeffrey X: One time.
Jeffrey X: And that was it.
Jeffrey X: The wildlife leans into ridiculous slapstick, but there's no need for it.
Jeffrey X: I guess this is part of the, uh, let's have a wild and crazy party subgenre, but good grief.
Jeffrey X: With a little more effort and maybe a little less studio meddling, I don't have any evidence of that, but it feels like it,
Jeffrey X: The Wildlife could have been the spiritual sequel to Fast Times.
Jeffrey X: But instead, you've got adults pretending to be in high school, getting into outlandish situations,
Jeffrey X: and in the end, everyone forgives each other for being stupid, and they drive off happy.
Jeffrey X: What the fuck is going on here?
Jeffrey X: This is nonsense.
Jeffrey X: And I think that I am most angry at Elon Mitchell Smith's character because he went from being a Vietnam nerd who blew up the statue in front of the high school to a kid who straightens up after he sees Randy Quaid do heroin.
Jeffrey X: Like, why isn't this kid already on heroin?
Jeffrey X: He should be mainlining heroin in the bathroom at the school.
Jeffrey X: Like, that is his line?
Jeffrey X: Like, he can't cross that.
Jeffrey X: He gets mad because he can't buy weapons at the army surplus store.
Jeffrey X: But heroin is his line?
Jeffrey X: Fuck you.
Jeffrey X: I don't buy that.
Jeffrey X: If you're making a screwball titties and PBR party movie,
Jeffrey X: it's got to be grounded in some sense of reality.
Jeffrey X: And The Wildlife just isn't.
Jeffrey X: It's like a shitty 8-bit simulation of better movies.
Suzanne: Did you see who the
Suzanne: army surplus store
Suzanne: clerk was? That was Ben Stein. Remember
Suzanne: Wayne Ben Stein's money?
Suzanne: And I hated
Suzanne: the catchphrase. That
Suzanne: catchphrase just...
Jeffrey X: It's like fucking fingernails
Jeffrey X: on a chalkboard. Hey, that's casual.
Suzanne: Oh!
Suzanne: Oh, God!
Suzanne: It's like...
Suzanne: He got this idea in his head for a catchphrase
Suzanne: and then try to write a movie about it.
Suzanne: It's fucking bad.
Jeffrey X: You shouldn't stop trying to make fetch happen.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Suzanne: That's not how it works.
Suzanne: It's got to be organic.
Gary Hill: Oh, boy.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: I like this fight way more than I thought I should.
Gary Hill: Because, first of all,
Gary Hill: everything you've seen in Michael Smith then,
Gary Hill: he was kind of like that guy.
Gary Hill: like that nerdy little brother.
Gary Hill: He's still kind of that nerdy little brother in this movie,
Gary Hill: and I think that he's the only one in the film,
Gary Hill: I mean, you guys talk about him seeing Charlie doing heroin in the bathroom,
Gary Hill: who has some kind of redemption arc, in a way,
Gary Hill: because he doesn't want to live the way he's been living,
Gary Hill: and the old narcissist, you know, heralding, you know,
Gary Hill: wartime, you know, Vietnam people, and yada, yada, yada,
Gary Hill: whatever the fuck the little anarchist is fucking doing
Gary Hill: in the film, but at least
Gary Hill: he changed
Gary Hill: his ideas.
Gary Hill: Now, Eric Stoltz
Gary Hill: in the film, he has no spine
Gary Hill: throughout the entire film
Gary Hill: because he lets
Gary Hill: Tom,
Gary Hill: captain of the wrestling team,
Gary Hill: provoke him
Gary Hill: and make him do just what he wants him to do
Gary Hill: even in the end
Gary Hill: where you have that party
Gary Hill: at the apartment
Gary Hill: and um now if he had any spine he would call the fucking cops because that party is clearly out of
Gary Hill: control you got fucking dumbasses he's fucking knocking a hole in the wall he just casually goes
Gary Hill: next door dancing with anita like yeah here i go i just not living you know these adult
Gary Hill: responsibilities that i'm preaching and uh it's fucking nuts and like you said the other characters
Gary Hill: are not believable.
Gary Hill: You got Rick Moranis as, again,
Gary Hill: pervy mall skanker
Gary Hill: in this film. I guess he plays that
Gary Hill: role pretty well, I guess.
Gary Hill: I'm sorry.
Gary Hill: It's like watching Teen Witch,
Gary Hill: okay? The girl gets powers in Teen Witch,
Gary Hill: but at the end of the film,
Gary Hill: she still gets to do, she doesn't learn shit
Gary Hill: from her mistakes. None of these people
Gary Hill: in this film do not learn shit
Gary Hill: from their fucking mistakes, except for
Gary Hill: Jim. He learns about
Gary Hill: maybe that's not the way to live.
Gary Hill: Other ones are all like,
Gary Hill: oh,
Gary Hill: I'm still going to hang out with Tom and party down and blah,
Gary Hill: blah,
Gary Hill: blah.
Gary Hill: And these dumb girls will still hang out with us because they're,
Gary Hill: they're those type of girls.
Gary Hill: And,
Gary Hill: um,
Gary Hill: it's just deplorable people.
Gary Hill: And,
Gary Hill: and again,
Gary Hill: like you guys say,
Gary Hill: you don't root for any of them.
Gary Hill: You don't root for any of them.
Gary Hill: And,
Gary Hill: and the,
Gary Hill: the stripper scene with Kit and Navidad is probably one of the best things
Gary Hill: ever.
Gary Hill: If you guys don't know who that is,
Gary Hill: he's a old school porn actress.
Gary Hill: with
Gary Hill: wonderful assets, if you will.
Gary Hill: You know, just shaking
Gary Hill: and being showcased in this movie
Gary Hill: all so well.
Gary Hill: Huge.
Gary Hill: I'm sorry.
Suzanne: I mean, that was the
Suzanne: tits and ass thing
Suzanne: that I guess every 80s movie
Suzanne: had to have
Suzanne: with an R rating,
Suzanne: but it was
Suzanne: just to showcase more
Suzanne: of how much of an ass
Suzanne: Tom was.
Suzanne: If I was those dudes next to him,
Suzanne: I would have fucking thrown his ass out
Suzanne: much earlier.
Gary Hill: Just not your friend. He's not your friend.
Gary Hill: And Bill
Gary Hill: Lord is nothing from the situation.
Gary Hill: There's still buds at the end.
Gary Hill: Like, no, I could possibly fucking get sued
Gary Hill: by the guy that
Gary Hill: makes porno for
Gary Hill: Burt Reynolds and Boogie Nights.
Gary Hill: You know, this could be a major lawsuit.
Gary Hill: I could possibly go to jail for this.
Gary Hill: But you know what? Tom's got some
Gary Hill: PBR in his fridge.
Gary Hill: Let's go party some more and just
Gary Hill: forget about growing up responsibilities
Gary Hill: and, you know, hitting on divorcees by the pool.
Gary Hill: Oh, my gosh.
Gary Hill: That's one redeeming feature.
Jeffrey X: He's attached to his football helmet.
Gary Hill: Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
Gary Hill: One redeeming thing I'll say about this film is he doesn't win anything, Bill.
Gary Hill: He doesn't get the hot divorcees on the poolside.
Gary Hill: He doesn't really get Anita.
Gary Hill: You know, he does.
Gary Hill: But even then, when they get to the party, she's just as dumb and hapless as the rest of them.
Gary Hill: She's like, oh, these morons just knocked down the drywall and, you know,
Gary Hill: ruin these fucking squares evening, playing fucking Scrabble or some shit.
Gary Hill: You know, let's dance and party in their apartment next door.
Gary Hill: Like, no, there's a lot wrong with this situation, and you guys should recognize that.
Gary Hill: And, you know, again, hero of the day is Jim, you know.
Gary Hill: go wide downly
Gary Hill: hold it down for me in this film
Gary Hill: just fucking smoking and
Gary Hill: doing nunchucks and
Gary Hill: carrying a jam box I'm jealous
Gary Hill: of to this day
Gary Hill: it looks like a very good jam box
Jeffrey X: can I slide something in here
Gary Hill: real quick? go ahead
Jeffrey X: sorry but the girl
Jeffrey X: that Jim was
Jeffrey X: attracted to her boyfriend
Jeffrey X: is Dick Rude
Jeffrey X: who was in Repo Man
Jeffrey X: and encouraged people to
Suzanne: do crimes and eat sushi and not pay okay i've been trying to place that boy
Suzanne: the past two times instead of actually going to imdb i'm like
Suzanne: now i was doing the whole way in the before times without internet or cell phones like it'll come
Suzanne: to me it'll come to me holy shit sorry no no no no no and there's one other thing that
Suzanne: He's bugging me about this.
Suzanne: It's a really minute little detail.
Suzanne: Okay.
Suzanne: Bill works at a bowling alley.
Suzanne: What was he getting paid?
Suzanne: Because I remember when he was sitting in the rental office.
Suzanne: Well, I put down the 940 already.
Suzanne: How much are you making at the bowling alley?
Jeffrey X: Honey, he saved up all summer to get that apartment.
Jeffrey X: He said that.
Jeffrey X: Well, I know he did.
Suzanne: He was looking for $5 an hour.
Gary Hill: it's bad
Suzanne: Jesus this is probably back in the day where it was like
Suzanne: 335
Gary Hill: well if you worked at the bowling alley my buddy worked at
Gary Hill: you sold weed to the porters in the back
Gary Hill: and you know that's how you made a little bit of money
Gary Hill: right there your extra money
Jeffrey X: Rob that's fair that's completely fair
Gary Hill: but I think
Gary Hill: that Jim is a very
Gary Hill: the only redeemable character in this entire film
Gary Hill: because he realizes
Gary Hill: you know what he was doing was bullshit
Gary Hill: and you could tell that he kind of
Gary Hill: turned it around a little bit for himself.
Gary Hill: So I'll
Gary Hill: commend the Jim character.
Gary Hill: And I'll
Gary Hill: do it. I'm trying to look for redeemable qualities
Gary Hill: in these characters. He's the only one that's
Gary Hill: stretching towards it, okay?
Jeffrey X: No, because
Jeffrey X: he's just like,
Jeffrey X: oh, is there a party going on in my apartment?
Jeffrey X: I don't know where Tom is.
Jeffrey X: We should go somewhere and fuck.
Jeffrey X: Let's find an
Jeffrey X: empty room where we can fuck.
Gary Hill: No, that's Bill.
Jeffrey X: Oh, you're talking about Jim,
Jeffrey X: who suddenly gets straight because
Jeffrey X: he saw Randy Quaid tying one
Gary Hill: off. Yeah, but he has
Gary Hill: a morality moment there.
Gary Hill: To say, hey, maybe I should live my life
Gary Hill: like this. Nobody else has this
Suzanne: movie.
Suzanne: It should have been showcased
Suzanne: a little bit better instead
Suzanne: of him, instead of wearing army fatigues
Suzanne: instead of wearing a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans.
Suzanne: You know, it's like, I know
Suzanne: like I said, we don't need the shit spoon fed
Suzanne: to us, but
Suzanne: you almost kind of need at least
Suzanne: a little bit of redemption there.
Suzanne: And it's
Suzanne: it's, you know, like I said,
Suzanne: we're intelligent, logical people.
Suzanne: So we understood the job.
Suzanne: But I think
Suzanne: it should have been
Suzanne: even just a little bit
Suzanne: showcased like him taking the Vietnam
Suzanne: poster off of his wall
Suzanne: and, you know,
Suzanne: maybe just sitting with his head in his hands
Gary Hill: for a minute. Honey, this isn't
Gary Hill: American History X. This is the wildlife, okay?
Gary Hill: I'll take what I can get.
Suzanne: I don't know.
Suzanne: I'm just saying that, and I do agree
Suzanne: that he is about the only
Suzanne: somewhat redeemable character,
Suzanne: but I just don't
Suzanne: think it was done
Jeffrey X: properly. I agree.
Jeffrey X: His redemption arc was
Jeffrey X: on an arc. It was a straight
Jeffrey X: line, and that bothers
Jeffrey X: me ever so much.
Gary Hill: well
Gary Hill: if you've seen Randy Quaid banging
Gary Hill: another homeless guy you know
Gary Hill: under a boardwalk or something it might make him go a little
Gary Hill: faster then like hey
Gary Hill: shouldn't live a lot this way you know
Gary Hill: but I will say one redeemable quality
Gary Hill: about this film one more
Gary Hill: is that Chris Penn was not too
Gary Hill: attractive a few years later
Gary Hill: after this movie so there's that
Gary Hill: you know that 90s Chris Penn
Gary Hill: was uh
Gary Hill: got a little thicker so there's that
Gary Hill: yeah
Gary Hill: It's like when I tell people
Gary Hill: That Mickey Rourke needs to be attractive men
Gary Hill: And they don't believe me
Gary Hill: I was like well here's this film, this film, and this film
Gary Hill: You know tell me otherwise
Jeffrey X: You know what though
Jeffrey X: If Jim had just stopped in front of the high school
Jeffrey X: And just yelled
Jeffrey X: Shitter's full
Jeffrey X: Then we would have understood
Jeffrey X: Where he was from
Jeffrey X: Through his redemption arc
Jeffrey X: But it just didn't
Jeffrey X: Work for me
Jeffrey X: I was just like oh what
Jeffrey X: You saw a dude doing drugs, and now you're just like, oh, fuck, I don't want to be that.
Jeffrey X: No, dude, I need a little, I need more substance than that.
Jeffrey X: I need more substance for a lot of this film.
Gary Hill: Well, in this film, the shitter is full, because there's a bunch of shit people, so he's got that going for it, you know.
Suzanne: What can this happen?
Suzanne: That's fair.
Gary Hill: Oh, my gosh.
Gary Hill: Suzanne, any final things you want to say about the wildlife?
Suzanne: it's a very badly put together film with highly unlikable characters completely and totally
Suzanne: in stupid situations that will would never happen there is no even going back to my
Suzanne: years in the 80s any situation that could even possibly be realistic it was just
Suzanne: I don't want to say fluff
Suzanne: because I'd be giving fluff a bad name
Suzanne: because everybody needs a little fluff.
Suzanne: No, this was just bad.
Suzanne: Except for Lee Ving.
Suzanne: I'll take Lee.
Jeffrey X: I'll take Lee Ving and Ron Wood
Jeffrey X: dragging a cold turkey into the fridge.
Jeffrey X: That was pretty great.
Gary Hill: Was that a turkey or a ham?
Gary Hill: It looked like a turkey.
Jeffrey X: I could be wrong.
Jeffrey X: I'm willing to be wrong. I don't give a shit.
Jeffrey X: I was just like, fuck, is that Ron Wood?
Jeffrey X: And I was like, oh, that's totally Ron Wood.
Jeffrey X: I will give this movie half a star
Jeffrey X: just because of Hart Brockner's
Jeffrey X: amazing facial hair.
Jeffrey X: Excuse me.
Jeffrey X: But Brub had the
Jeffrey X: Harry Reams mustache going
Jeffrey X: and that was pretty great.
Jeffrey X: He's the best part of this movie.
Jeffrey X: everybody else can suck a fuck.
Jeffrey X: I hate this goddamn movie.
Jeffrey X: Yeah, fucking half a star.
Suzanne: I'm with you on the half a star.
Suzanne: And that's even for me, like I said,
Suzanne: leaving is the reason it has half a star,
Suzanne: and a lot of that is because he called Eric Stoltz a pussy.
Jeffrey X: And that's fair.
Jeffrey X: And leaving is one of the reasons that Clue is a great movie.
Jeffrey X: Oh, yeah, Mr. Body.
Jeffrey X: Fuck, yeah.
Jeffrey X: But also leaving, I mean, fuck, you know.
Jeffrey X: fucking let's have a war
Jeffrey X: fucking fear leaving
Jeffrey X: we know who he is outside
Jeffrey X: of movies
Jeffrey X: which is why we're so impressed
Jeffrey X: but fuck yeah
Jeffrey X: he was great
Jeffrey X: and Hart Buckner's
Jeffrey X: upper lip was great and
Jeffrey X: nothing else in this movie was
Gary Hill: more positive things to say about
Gary Hill: the wildlife
Gary Hill: I get like a one and a half for me
Gary Hill: You know, half a star for Kitten Navidad dancing to the girl can't help it.
Gary Hill: She gets half a star.
Gary Hill: Even with Michael Smith's lackluster, half-hearted redemption gets a half a star.
Gary Hill: And the fact that the soundtrack contains classic rock along with Prince and Bananarama gets a half a star.
Gary Hill: So that's one of the half stars for the wildlife for me.
Gary Hill: Again, a lot of unlikable people, like you guys said, it's hard for you to debate that because at the end of the day, nobody is redeemable in this movie.
Gary Hill: They're just not.
Gary Hill: So you're like, yeah, this is the age when I saw, but there's better stuff out there, you know.
Jeffrey X: And yet they still get redeemed.
Jeffrey X: And I'm angry about that.
Jeffrey X: I'm angry about how Tom and Eileen ended up like, are we okay?
Jeffrey X: Cool.
Jeffrey X: I'm going to pick you up and put you in my car.
Jeffrey X: And Tom and what's-her-face, just like,
Jeffrey X: I'm going to find another place to live.
Jeffrey X: It's cool.
Jeffrey X: Hey, everything's fine.
Suzanne: It doesn't matter that we trashed.
Suzanne: Two apartments and part of a,
Suzanne: Aiden had to have a pool probably cleaned out,
Suzanne: along with hallways and everything.
Suzanne: And sure, nothing's ever going to come of that.
Suzanne: They're not going to get sued.
Jeffrey X: No.
Jeffrey X: Well, dude said they were going to have a lawsuit,
Jeffrey X: But there goes Eric Stolls off to fucking Daniel LaRusso's goddamn motel house.
Jeffrey X: Just no.
Jeffrey X: Stupid.
Gary Hill: Oh, my God.
Suzanne: There's no consequences.
Jeffrey X: Oh, my God.
Jeffrey X: That's it.
Jeffrey X: That is it.
Jeffrey X: There's no consequence to the horrible things that all these assholes did.
Jeffrey X: Also, they're all like fucking 25, 30, pretending to be in high school.
Jeffrey X: Kiss my fucking ass.
Suzanne: I think Elon was the only one
Suzanne: that might have been a teenager
Suzanne: at that time
Suzanne: I think he was
Suzanne: I could be wrong
Suzanne: but everybody else was
Suzanne: yeah you're right
Suzanne: in their 20s, 30s
Suzanne: and I love Jenny Smith
Suzanne: but she did not look like
Suzanne: she was 17, 18 years old
Gary Hill: yeah, that's true
Gary Hill: but yeah that's that
Gary Hill: and we'll be right back
Gary Hill: to close out the show
Psychosemantic podcast: this is a test of the emergency podcasting system listen to the Psychosemantic podcast
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Gary Hill: alright folks that's the end of this one
Gary Hill: not sure
Gary Hill: what we're going to be doing next because
Gary Hill: Suzanne has to have surgery unfortunately
Gary Hill: and Cootie's birthday is coming up
Gary Hill: so you might get to the next thing
Gary Hill: that I'm going to mention right now
Gary Hill: which will be another 80's
Gary Hill: romp of a show
Gary Hill: but dealing with
Gary Hill: addictions and the white folks
Gary Hill: that come along with it
Gary Hill: living straight into the Brat Pack lifestyle.
Gary Hill: We're going to do St. Elmo's Fire
Gary Hill: because I've never seen it.
Gary Hill: And alcoholic white folks
Gary Hill: playing a saxophone.
Jeffrey X: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Jeffrey X: Back up.
Jeffrey X: You've never seen St. Elmo's Fire?
Gary Hill: We had this conversation.
Suzanne: That's what I said.
Suzanne: Gary and I had this not to.
Suzanne: Yes, we did.
Jeffrey X: Oh, my.
Jeffrey X: Okay.
Jeffrey X: Okay, cool.
Jeffrey X: Yay.
Gary Hill: I've watched the music video, and I fully believe a fucking Frank Stallone-looking motherfucker
Gary Hill: could not even get a comatose Demi Moore.
Gary Hill: But, you know, it happens in that video.
Jeffrey X: All games of their own ways.
Gary Hill: And St. Elmo's Fire burning in me as well.
Gary Hill: Like a bad case of VD.
Jeffrey X: Oh, God.
Jeffrey X: St. Elmo's Comedia.
Gary Hill: Or possible herpes, you know, in one scene.
Gary Hill: We're talking about the cocaine-induced
Gary Hill: white folks with problems movie,
Gary Hill: Less Than Zero,
Gary Hill: a film in which James Spader
Gary Hill: literally gets blown by Robert Downey Jr.
Gary Hill: So there's that, you know.
Suzanne: Oh, no, he didn't.
Suzanne: No, James Spader was 10th.
Gary Hill: Just getting in there.
Gary Hill: Well, that's what we're doing next, probably.
Gary Hill: Unless something comes in between.
Jeffrey X: Punks on dope
Jeffrey X: Mom and dad live in Hollywood
Gary Hill: Less than zero
Gary Hill: Insane Elmo's player
Gary Hill: On your probably next
Gary Hill: In the Beat Podcast
Gary Hill: That's the lineup
Gary Hill: That's what we're doing
Gary Hill: All the good endings
Gary Hill: Go head over to the Patreon
Gary Hill: For Legion
Gary Hill: Get some good stuff there
Gary Hill: For two bucks a month
Gary Hill: early releases from
Gary Hill: Cort PsyOps, including
Gary Hill: his pirate radio edits of his show,
Gary Hill: which includes the real music he intended
Gary Hill: to put on the show, and
Gary Hill: early releases, video
Gary Hill: versions of Two Treatment of Commentaries,
Gary Hill: old ones, and the new ones
Gary Hill: are going to be coming, I promise,
Gary Hill: with video on the Patreon.
Gary Hill: Yeah.
Gary Hill: Other stuff. Last Call of Torchies.
Gary Hill: Next week we're scheduled to do a show.
Gary Hill: Supernova
Gary Hill: which I remember being just fucking deplorable
Gary Hill: and uh
Gary Hill: to go with the Patreon
Gary Hill: the Patreon episode we're doing
Gary Hill: Event Horizon so we're redeeming
Gary Hill: Supernova with a good movie
Gary Hill: so there's that
Gary Hill: you know
Jeffrey X: Gary can I talk about my shit
Jeffrey X: real quick?
Gary Hill: yes you can sir
Jeffrey X: I mean I don't want to be an interrupter
Gary Hill: no no this is your shit too brother
Gary Hill: go for it
Jeffrey X: Kiss the Goat has its own
Jeffrey X: and we are coming back in July
Jeffrey X: with
Jeffrey X: whatever the fuck season
Jeffrey X: you know we always play in Kiss the Goat
Jeffrey X: like a radio feeder
Jeffrey X: sort of thing
Jeffrey X: but we are
Jeffrey X: we are
Jeffrey X: trucking across the USA
Jeffrey X: in the next season
Jeffrey X: and the first season should drop
Jeffrey X: in July
Jeffrey X: and I can't remember
Jeffrey X: where we're going
Jeffrey X: Oh, we're going to Louisiana.
Jeffrey X: So, anyway, yeah.
Jeffrey X: Find us on Patreon, and please subscribe to get the newest shit,
Jeffrey X: because we're going to have a whole lot of fun.
Gary Hill: They'll go dancing across the USA.
Gary Hill: Do the whole song for you guys.
Gary Hill: I don't care.
Gary Hill: You know.
Gary Hill: Oh, my gosh.
Gary Hill: But, yeah, just to go to Patreon.
Gary Hill: Go look for that.
Gary Hill: He has all his old episodes on there, too.
Gary Hill: And I'm glad HBK found his smile again, as I'll say about that.
Jeffrey X: God damn it.
Jeffrey X: Don't fucking bring that asshole up.
Gary Hill: But you actually know what that means, okay?
Gary Hill: You know?
Gary Hill: But, yeah.
Gary Hill: This has been a Cinema Beef Podcast.
Gary Hill: Where if you've got beef, we've got the grinder.
Gary Hill: We'll see you all next time.
Suzanne: Don't forget to tip your bartenders.
Suzanne: They put up with your shit.
Suzanne: it.