Speaker 1: Welcome back to Beard with the Stick. Let's me I'm Kevin.
Speaker 2: Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
Speaker 1: It has been a minute.
Speaker 2: It has been a red harf minute.
Speaker 1: Now. For the rest of the world, they're like, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: it's been like two weeks, but for us, it's been
Speaker 1: almost two months since we sat down to record. We
Speaker 1: banked a bunch of shows because I was going off
Speaker 1: on the Dogmenteur. Then after the Dogmenteur we came home
Speaker 1: for a red hot minute or in the midst of it,
Speaker 1: it was more toward the end of it, and then
Speaker 1: went to can for five days.
Speaker 2: Then I went to Spain.
Speaker 1: Harley went to Spain. Then she came back and Danel
Speaker 1: was like, I heart didn't want your show anymore. I
Speaker 1: was like, wait what, But more about that later on.
Speaker 1: So lots to catch.
Speaker 2: Up on, so much to cover.
Speaker 1: I am as we speak on tour with Jay for
Speaker 1: the Oral Sex Tour Part two?
Speaker 2: Are you gonna spell it?
Speaker 1: A U R A L S C C T. I'm
Speaker 1: going to Oklahoma City and then I'm going to all
Speaker 1: the hot spots. Saint Paul, Minnesota. Uh, let's see where
Speaker 1: else am I going? After Saint Paul Minnesota?
Speaker 2: Then I can Champagne.
Speaker 1: Sure, well that's later on. Don't don't fucking sorry, don't bury.
Speaker 1: After there's Oklahoma, then there's same. Then there's two stops
Speaker 1: in Iowa, Des Moines and Iowa City, Iowa City first,
Speaker 1: then Des Moines, So Oklahoma City, Saint Paul, Minnesota, Iowa City,
Speaker 1: Des Moines, Iowa, Madison, Wisconsin. Okay, get ready cats James
Speaker 1: On abob coming, and then Lawrence, Kansas. And there's another
Speaker 1: one in there that I'm forgetting escape me. But anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm out on the road until like the twenty seventh
Speaker 1: and stuff. He's gone gone, So I'm already I was
Speaker 1: home for a second. Now back out into the world.
Speaker 2: But let's rewind so much to debris.
Speaker 1: It really is. And this is require a stiff drink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cracker open liquid death. It's been a it's been
Speaker 2: a busy summer. You could say.
Speaker 1: Hasn't even started yet.
Speaker 2: I actually, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: That's your birthday, Harley's birthdays coming up.
Speaker 2: It's my golden birthday, twenty six on the twenties, all right.
Speaker 1: So we went to can That was absolutely lovely. I
Speaker 1: had not been there, you know, in nineteen years. Last
Speaker 1: time we went was with Clerks too. I hadn't been
Speaker 1: there with Dogma in twenty six years, so we got
Speaker 1: to go back. We walked the red carpet, we got
Speaker 1: to hang out in the closet with the kid Burne,
Speaker 1: Austin came, we went to the screening. It was like wonderful.
Speaker 1: Actually sat and watched the entire movie with the audience
Speaker 1: and stuff got inspired, like it was great. The whole
Speaker 1: trip was fucking great. The tour was great as well.
Speaker 1: Got to see people, two shows a night, sold out.
Speaker 1: Just it was absolutely lovely. But when we were done
Speaker 1: with can me and Jen took off, Like after the screening.
Speaker 1: We were there for two more days. But the idea was,
Speaker 1: since Harley was coming over with us, she'd never been
Speaker 1: to Europe.
Speaker 2: That's not accurate at all.
Speaker 1: What was it.
Speaker 2: I've been many places in Europe.
Speaker 1: He'd be you'd never been to.
Speaker 2: Spain, and I had left I had not left the
Speaker 2: country besides Canada in the past ten years in a
Speaker 2: read a minute, and Austin had never left the continent
Speaker 2: ever ever, So.
Speaker 1: These kids went with us. But then you know, the
Speaker 1: idea was like, since they're going to be over there,
Speaker 1: they'll stay longer, and so then they went off to Spain.
Speaker 1: Me and Jen flew home. Now is when you tell
Speaker 1: everybody all about Spain, or you can start with like
Speaker 1: your can, Let me.
Speaker 2: Rewind a little bit to ken Can was absolutely beautiful
Speaker 2: and delayful, not so suitable for vegans. But besides that,
Speaker 2: no complaints, not about g Would you like to speak
Speaker 2: about the old burger?
Speaker 1: We went into a fucking restaurant, man, and this is
Speaker 1: one day I'm going to learn to like start looking
Speaker 1: at prices before I pay. Granted, we were in France,
Speaker 1: and naturally that.
Speaker 2: We're just looking for anything that you'd also.
Speaker 1: Anything, and we saw like a vegan burger and we
Speaker 1: were like, oh my god, belga, so we order it
Speaker 1: at This was the Majestic Hotel. It's one of the
Speaker 1: fancy hotels along the strip, and they bring out a
Speaker 1: vegan burger. It's an oat burger.
Speaker 2: My dad does not like oat being any.
Speaker 1: Of those, but he don't prefer but this was.
Speaker 2: This was also you could see the oats.
Speaker 1: It was like an oat meal burger.
Speaker 2: It was pretty much.
Speaker 1: A puck, but it wasn't a hard puck where it's
Speaker 1: get a good bike.
Speaker 2: Very much, very much. Also many a mushroom in there,
Speaker 2: and he don't like that.
Speaker 1: So I, you know, like, I'll have the dinner rolls
Speaker 1: and some French fries. But the fucking oh burger was
Speaker 1: how much? Sixty? We didn't know, no idea sixty.
Speaker 2: But after the check was brought to us a.
Speaker 1: Burger, even if it was the best beyond burger on
Speaker 1: the planet, sixty was a little fucking ridiculous dollars sixty
Speaker 1: for an oberger. I didn't even eat it was.
Speaker 2: He also we both ordered an oatburger, and I ate
Speaker 2: a solid amount of mine. It wasn't it wasn't the
Speaker 2: best thing of the road, but you know, a girl's
Speaker 2: gotta eat. How he didn't want to be seen as
Speaker 2: the person who didn't eat his oatburgers, so he dismembered
Speaker 2: his oburger and put parts of it on my plate,
Speaker 2: making it look like I did not eat my oatburger.
Speaker 2: Because he couldn't take that.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, the standard American all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't finish your.
Speaker 2: Appreciate an old burger. Sure we can't give credit where
Speaker 2: credit is due, though, And that's the French fries.
Speaker 1: Which yeah, I mean, it's right there, but they were
Speaker 1: if we don't get to fresh fry, right, everything else
Speaker 1: is sheet.
Speaker 2: And that's true. Also while we were there in Austin
Speaker 2: so appalled by because my dad and I were just
Speaker 2: trying to We're just trying to find anything we could eat,
Speaker 2: and it was truly not easy. We went to a
Speaker 2: restaurant called New York, New York, which really appalled Austin that.
Speaker 1: That we were in France and we went to New York.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he might as well date your mother
Speaker 1: because she's the same way. She was like, we're all
Speaker 1: the way in here and we're gonna get a place
Speaker 1: called New York ewer. I'm like, who gives a ship
Speaker 1: what it's called? Like they have a full European menu
Speaker 1: for Americans.
Speaker 2: We don't want what we're not looking for us cargo.
Speaker 2: We're not looking for beef tartar.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't like they were like American and borl
Speaker 1: gear like, it's just they called the place New York.
Speaker 1: Had a big menu, diverse, lot of French food and shit.
Speaker 1: But the old fucking standard, the standby is pizza, European pizza.
Speaker 1: Mayn't go anywhere and get some pizza and ship vegan.
Speaker 1: You get a red pie, like leave the cheese off
Speaker 1: and like kiss, but it's I don't bump into that restaurant.
Speaker 2: I was really fine with her choice.
Speaker 1: Especially because they did have a meatless but it was
Speaker 1: it called meat Reimagined. I think it was a very
Speaker 1: French name, but it was essentially a beyond it and
Speaker 1: it was really good. I had one as well, And
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what we didn't follow up on because
Speaker 1: we left like the next day. What maybe some people
Speaker 1: don't know if they're not they don't eat vegan on
Speaker 1: a regular basis. It makes you gassy because you're eating
Speaker 1: a lot of protein.
Speaker 2: Did it make.
Speaker 1: I was on a twelve hour plane ride home. Oh god,
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 2: God. The poor fellow flamegoers. It's already like that on
Speaker 2: a daily basising.
Speaker 1: It into the seat, burying my ass just deeply into
Speaker 1: the sea as I could. To be fair, I was
Speaker 1: in like a lay back seat, so I had a
Speaker 1: blanket over me so I could. But man, it was
Speaker 1: Dutch oven city in there. But that's how I knew.
Speaker 1: I was like, that was a real meatless, that was
Speaker 1: meat reimagined. It made me fart just as much as
Speaker 1: a beyond burger, perhaps more, perhaps somebody is now used
Speaker 1: to be on burger and it doesn't like I don't
Speaker 1: fart as much that burger man, because I was like,
Speaker 1: what did I eat? And I was like, it's the meat.
Speaker 2: Reimagined, gas reimagine.
Speaker 1: Truly the whole fucking trip home. Man. Wow, but I
Speaker 1: don't bump.
Speaker 2: Into that, right, Thank god, you were in first class.
Speaker 1: Truly and fucked those two little snots like New York,
Speaker 1: New York.
Speaker 2: No, we're just looking for a fucking meal, little kid.
Speaker 1: It was. And also to be fair, like eleven thirty
Speaker 1: at night, like it was really late.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're also, now, what are we supposed to
Speaker 2: go get a sixty dollars o burger for a second time.
Speaker 1: I already got fucked in the daytime, so at nighttime
Speaker 1: we want a little security, a little safety, like pizza
Speaker 1: and meat reimagined, not to be confused.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then also on the meat reimagined, we couldn't
Speaker 2: eat the bun. Though the bun came, it was not
Speaker 2: the tell. Yeah, the bun on the on the oat
Speaker 2: bill gal was also.
Speaker 1: A little suze.
Speaker 2: It was a little sauce. And I did I did
Speaker 2: have a bike because it did say vegan burger. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but then I quickly had some questions and I stopped
Speaker 2: eating the bun.
Speaker 1: But you're man at New York, New York chose unwisely
Speaker 1: the fish seafood. Yeah. He chose like a lobster pasta
Speaker 1: of some sort. Yeah. Yeah, And then you guys went
Speaker 1: to Spain the next day, where he proceeded to throw
Speaker 1: up and his guts out. Do you think it was
Speaker 1: the fish dish at New York, New York. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: why he's a little biased.
Speaker 2: No, he didn't throw up the next day. He got
Speaker 2: real sick.
Speaker 1: What's that if you're like real sick, like sick, so
Speaker 1: like sweaty and ship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds like. So we'll get we'll get from the
Speaker 2: from that, we'll get back to that, all right.
Speaker 1: Just we just want to remind the audience. Uh well no, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, hold on, how do they say it later
Speaker 1: on in the episode, how I Heart fired.
Speaker 2: Don't forget this is coming up, but you gotta wait.
Speaker 1: We'll get there, but you gotta waita in Spain, all right, So.
Speaker 2: No back in Canal. Still have some stuff to say
Speaker 2: about can fair enough. It was a really wonderful experience
Speaker 2: getting to see you get filled up with me. It
Speaker 2: is with with self confidence. I think you being there
Speaker 2: seeing like, yeah I can I can still do this.
Speaker 2: Because before that, before we left, you were saying, we
Speaker 2: gotta go because I'm never coming back for me, unless
Speaker 2: it's for you or Austin, I'm not coming back.
Speaker 1: There's no I didn't think I would ever be back
Speaker 1: in camp.
Speaker 2: But then you went, You got filled up with hope
Speaker 2: and confidence. And then on stage you announced in front
Speaker 2: of that very french man who runs the festival that
Speaker 2: you would be returning with the dog Mosequel and he
Speaker 2: said if it is good, and he was like it,
Speaker 2: but it was. It was really very hard warming and
Speaker 2: very wonderful for me to see you be filled with
Speaker 2: confidence again.
Speaker 1: Oh that's very sweet. As soon as I got back
Speaker 1: to the States, it was gone. No no, did What
Speaker 1: was your takeaway of the Sasophones.
Speaker 2: Let's just say, well, it was gorgeous, beautiful, beyond great weather.
Speaker 2: You were saying it was like Los Angeles, to which
Speaker 2: I say, again, it looks like no, no, no, it
Speaker 2: was a beautiful oasis at least.
Speaker 1: But to be fair, there were there were moments too,
Speaker 1: like when we were at the party in the hills.
Speaker 1: After the screening that, I was like, oh, it looks
Speaker 1: like highlands. Oh my god, in the dark with the
Speaker 1: view of the.
Speaker 2: Respect on the French ro Viera's name.
Speaker 1: Please man, there are parts of highlands that are very beautiful.
Speaker 2: I've been there. It ain't the same.
Speaker 1: It's it's a beach. It's the exact the same.
Speaker 2: My god, that is the Mediterranean scene.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we got a nice weather in Jersey, all right,
Speaker 1: and so.
Speaker 2: It was. I had never been to the south of France.
Speaker 2: I went to Paris like ten years ago. I've never
Speaker 2: been to the south of France. It was like a
Speaker 2: beautiful tropical oasis.
Speaker 1: The whole time you were like, hey, everybody walking them
Speaker 1: down the closet, You're like, I'm an iHeart podcaster. And
Speaker 1: then I came home, Hey, hey, step back.
Speaker 2: I got a podcast. I got a podcast on Heart radio.
Speaker 2: Just die.
Speaker 1: You say you can keep your pumpdu.
Speaker 2: I got have the Hill and everyone at the company
Speaker 2: loves us.
Speaker 1: We're never going to die. And people in the closet
Speaker 1: were like, cissart.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyways, more on that later, but I will say
Speaker 2: of Spain, I think Spain reconnected me to myself, to
Speaker 2: my life's purpose.
Speaker 1: Once again, kid's never been to Spain? Yes, what was
Speaker 1: your Were you scared to go with just you and him?
Speaker 1: Like with me and mom there at least like there
Speaker 1: was always somebody in case of an emergency or whatever
Speaker 1: the fuck? But we guys, I thought it was rather brave.
Speaker 1: You go to Spain by yourself.
Speaker 2: It's not scared but that. But that is to say,
Speaker 2: Spain reconnected me to myself. That is, can you care?
Speaker 1: I mean what.
Speaker 2: Spain reconnected me to myself and grounded me in my
Speaker 2: life and where I stand in this world. Can did
Speaker 2: not do that? Can was like the spectacle of all spectacles.
Speaker 2: It was the craziest thing I've ever witness. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: Spain made me realize, not in a bad way, in
Speaker 2: a really helpful, wonderful way, how small I am and
Speaker 2: how big the world is. France was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: this is this is this is the I don't even
Speaker 2: I never experienced anything like it. I feel like I've
Speaker 2: seen some fancy things throughout my life.
Speaker 1: You kept saying, the whole trip, I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like at one point we were in well, when the
Speaker 1: trip began, we were in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: Al Oh, from the beginning, and.
Speaker 1: Then we had access to a lounge. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was Centurion Lounge or if it was the
Speaker 1: first class of our fly.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, this was the Delta.
Speaker 1: One Lounge, Delta one lounge. We just took Delta one
Speaker 1: from LAX to.
Speaker 2: We did not You and Mom did. Austin and I
Speaker 2: sat in Row forty in the back of the plane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Delta coach and Delta The trunk of Delta.
Speaker 1: Coach Delta is one hundred. We were at Delta one.
Speaker 1: You were Delta one hundred.
Speaker 2: But the the lovely Delta one employee at.
Speaker 1: LAX, Wow, it's so nice that you still remember that
Speaker 1: that happened. There was a lady at the desk who
Speaker 1: was like, oh, if they want to come in, they
Speaker 1: can comm in.
Speaker 2: It was so kind because you know, the person at JFK,
Speaker 2: the Delta one employee at JFK said fuck, I'll get
Speaker 2: out of here. But the lovely woman, I wish I
Speaker 2: remembered her name at LAX, which there is a whole
Speaker 2: different entrance for Delta one at LAX, which blows my mind.
Speaker 2: It is on the arrivals level, not even the departures level,
Speaker 2: so you go in and it's your own fucking little
Speaker 2: check in desk. They offer you a pressed juice, they
Speaker 2: offer you a coffee, They have a hot towel. Then
Speaker 2: you go in and you go through your own private security,
Speaker 2: and then you go through.
Speaker 1: Yes, you put your bags, you know, your carry ons
Speaker 1: go through. Well, they take everything. They take your big
Speaker 1: bags when you check them. But then when you go
Speaker 1: you know, you're going through their own private airport security,
Speaker 1: so you're not it's it's it was crazy, like, wow,
Speaker 1: this is it was the height of luxury the whole trip.
Speaker 1: This kid is the airport lounge, which at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, yes, Delta one is a very beautiful
Speaker 1: lounge at L A X, but it's still an airport lounge.
Speaker 1: And the kid is like mclamor's play type anything, the
Speaker 1: team anything, as I got fucking hot towels, all it
Speaker 1: takes it like it's unbelievable. They've got a vegan snack?
Speaker 1: What did they have that? A vegan?
Speaker 2: You go up in this place, which again Austin and
Speaker 2: I only got to go in because of this really kind.
Speaker 1: Of remind when you were a kid, like instead of
Speaker 1: taking you to chuck e cheese, like we we went
Speaker 1: one day, we swapping once went to Chuck and Cheese
Speaker 1: and there was a long line and you were a baby,
Speaker 1: like yeah, like two or whatever. So we were like, cher,
Speaker 1: I can know the difference between Chuck and Cheese and
Speaker 1: the McDonald ball bath, and so we want to cross
Speaker 1: the street to McDonald's to the playland there. And you
Speaker 1: had a blast.
Speaker 2: I'm sure I did, but you did. But the germs
Speaker 2: are I made it. I did go to Chuck e
Speaker 2: Cheese all the time.
Speaker 1: You did, but it was it was like you know,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day. It reminds me of
Speaker 1: like we didn't even have to take you all the
Speaker 1: way to the south of France or Spain. We could
Speaker 1: have just taken the Delta one lounge hung out there
Speaker 1: for eight hours. You would be like get.
Speaker 3: Today when you walk in, which also, okay, there's one
Speaker 3: just going back one second. You can go into the
Speaker 3: private check and they offer you a press juice. You
Speaker 3: go to the private security. Then you take a private
Speaker 3: elevator that brings you up so you don't see nobody
Speaker 3: else in the airport, like the You're in your own
Speaker 3: fucking bubble. And then the elevator takes you up to
Speaker 3: the Delta one Lounge, so nobody there was asking for
Speaker 3: my ticket. Therefore, seeing that I am in row the four.
Speaker 1: Hundred, you don't belong here with quality JFK. They did,
Speaker 1: but you had to settle for the Centurion Lounge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it did its job. But at the Delta
Speaker 2: one Lounge, they handed you a brochure and told you
Speaker 2: everything that was in the lounge sleeping pods, massage pods, showers.
Speaker 1: We're not even we haven't gotten Spain yet, You're still
Speaker 1: in America.
Speaker 2: Free food, free, alcohol, free, everything free, free, free, free, free.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: It was glamorous, and they she wouldn't stop talking about.
Speaker 1: Do we did tea?
Speaker 2: It was the eluxury, It was the hide of luxury.
Speaker 1: It got to feelin that in the ethnic who did moms?
Speaker 1: He Oh, we did see somebody famous smart from Hacks.
Speaker 1: She was flying to New York and then I saw
Speaker 1: she's doing a place, so maybe that's why she was. Well,
Speaker 1: she was on our way there.
Speaker 2: I had some crazy Next.
Speaker 1: Time, I'm I'm just gonna buy a first class ticket
Speaker 1: out any Delta one floor. I'm going over. We're gonna
Speaker 1: go into the lounge. Just hang out for hours. You
Speaker 1: have to let you sleep in the pod, use a
Speaker 1: little internet, get some free It's the orange juice.
Speaker 2: I was so bummed, had no time to go in
Speaker 2: the sleeping ball.
Speaker 1: Well we were like going, like, do we like go
Speaker 1: out for her birthday and ship, Like Mom's going we
Speaker 1: could take her a crossroads, taking a fucking delta one,
Speaker 1: take me.
Speaker 2: Straight to the La Extill. Do one lounge. Baby.
Speaker 1: You don't even have to get dressed up. You can
Speaker 1: dress up like in the in the trucker hat and
Speaker 1: the thresher because once you bought the expensive ticket, they're
Speaker 1: gonna treat you like gold and ship. And then we
Speaker 1: did and fucking and the full refund you.
Speaker 2: And in your individual pod that with the seat that
Speaker 2: went all the way down. Yes, and you're in your
Speaker 2: meal and your blankets.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you this, but that being said,
Speaker 1: it was you know, it's twelve to thirteen hours to
Speaker 1: fucking get from Lax to niece, you know, with stops
Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck, and and uh, it's a lot
Speaker 1: of money to fly. But my god, I don't remember
Speaker 1: like the flight, like I've closed my eyes and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden they were like sir, we're landing. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's nice. Same coming back.
Speaker 2: I see who's that? Sounds like there's a puppy right there.
Speaker 1: Sounds like there's a dog outside somebody, somebody walking their dog.
Speaker 2: Bertie a.
Speaker 1: Pretty pretty Meanwhile, Lucky in the background like.
Speaker 2: He's okay, okay home anyway. So moving past the Delta
Speaker 2: one Lounge.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you ever will path. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Remember Austin said it was the best meal that he's
Speaker 4: ever had, the best breakfast he's ever had, was that
Speaker 4: the Delta one Lounge.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Should we should we have our wedding reception l
Speaker 1: A X. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The problem I wonder if you can have a membership
Speaker 2: to Delta one Love.
Speaker 1: I know, what do you belong to? Sam Vincente Bungalows. Yeah,
Speaker 1: get rid of that, get Delta one Lounge pass. You're
Speaker 1: going out, Oh my god, you'd have to drive out
Speaker 1: to l A to go.
Speaker 2: There there, ma'am. What times You're like, Oh, I don't.
Speaker 1: Got one of them. I'm just I'm here for the amenities.
Speaker 2: I'm just using.
Speaker 1: Like, don't you live here in town? Yeah? But it's
Speaker 1: I'm so delighted. I never thought we would be talking
Speaker 1: about it again, but I'm so delighted to see that
Speaker 1: it lasted impact. Oh my god, I was like, this
Speaker 1: shit happened like over a month ago, it feels like.
Speaker 1: And my man was just like dripping with detail right here,
Speaker 1: going like the juice was pressed, the towns was went
Speaker 1: and hot, and there was a sleep pod if you
Speaker 1: were tired, I tell you they figured it on out.
Speaker 2: Do you know think it's insane you can shower at
Speaker 2: the airport.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's insane because I've flown quite a bit,
Speaker 1: and in your higher end lounges there is always a
Speaker 1: shower component, all right.
Speaker 2: Well from a study, coach flyer wasn't I wasn't familiar.
Speaker 1: Now you've got to, you know, fucking your aspiration should
Speaker 1: be make enough money to always fly first class so
Speaker 1: you can go to the Delta.
Speaker 2: All my money every year, we'll be spent until one lounge.
Speaker 2: I'll have no car, I'll barely make my mortgage every month,
Speaker 2: but I'll be at the Delta one loune.
Speaker 1: Not for nothing. But like while you're there, be like
Speaker 1: kind an application there all the time.
Speaker 2: I honestly I witnessed I witnessed a nasty a nasty
Speaker 2: goer of the Nelta Delta Delta one lounge.
Speaker 1: What do you mean somebody in the Delta one lound
Speaker 1: not an employee, no no, but somebody was traveler, a
Speaker 1: fellow traveler.
Speaker 2: A fellow travel Delta wanner.
Speaker 1: They were no, no, another.
Speaker 2: One another, a woner was nasty to some who was
Speaker 2: working at this one. Oh no, no, no, I considered.
Speaker 2: I considered saying.
Speaker 1: Something getting up and carrying out.
Speaker 2: No, I wouldn't say that was being a bitch to
Speaker 2: the waitress. Yes, he was maing a fucking bitch to
Speaker 2: the waitress.
Speaker 1: What what was the Let me let me be the
Speaker 1: judge here, let me see how bitch is bitch? What'd
Speaker 1: you do?
Speaker 2: I mean? I can't fully remember the whole thing. It
Speaker 2: was kind of in a daze because of the amazement
Speaker 2: in my eyes at the Delta one lounge.
Speaker 1: But was the you can blink the answer? Was it
Speaker 1: your mother?
Speaker 2: No, my mother is a lovely person. Anyways, moving on? Um, No,
Speaker 2: this was this was a Karen of the sorts just
Speaker 2: complaining about Karen of the sky, some fucking Karen of
Speaker 2: the sky, fucking bitching about at like six am.
Speaker 1: With zero appreciation for the one that you have ohed.
Speaker 2: I was like, lady, how could you have a single
Speaker 2: complaint when you're in the Delta one lounge. You're being
Speaker 2: a bitch.
Speaker 1: She's lost her way.
Speaker 2: In the Delta one lounge and you're one, You're a
Speaker 2: fucking wonner, and you really got something to say at
Speaker 2: six am, she does all look bad. She was upset because,
Speaker 2: if I recall correctly, because the Mimosa slash champagne service
Speaker 2: started at seven, you could not get alcohol before the
Speaker 2: time of seven am, and we got there at like
Speaker 2: six thirty, and she was upset and she was.
Speaker 1: Like, I have to board soon and I want booze now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean no, I mean all of that just sounds bad,
Speaker 1: especially when it's just like I, well, my mamose.
Speaker 2: Piano, bitch. Anyways, So that was the Delta one Lounge.
Speaker 1: We haven't even gotten the fucking.
Speaker 2: Then can Can was lovely, an absolute spectacle, the city itself,
Speaker 2: the South or the South of France as a whole gorgeous.
Speaker 1: You. Harley and Austin naturally had their own hotel room
Speaker 1: separate from me and Jen. But they had their own
Speaker 1: hotel like they were separate from we.
Speaker 2: Were not staying at the Hotel Martinez. Mart is the
Speaker 2: one where every famous person in town stat.
Speaker 1: That they were saying, yes, who was there besides sound Well,
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: Who else matters?
Speaker 1: I saw Dakota.
Speaker 2: Fanning, I saw I believe you saw el Fanning.
Speaker 1: I saw Elan Yes, she really just gone with I
Speaker 1: saw a fan I.
Speaker 2: Saw Carl Delvine. Do you know who that is?
Speaker 1: Eyebrow actress she's got I mean we all do, but
Speaker 1: she's got a very striking eyebrows.
Speaker 2: I remember she's an actor. She's very as a girl's girl.
Speaker 2: I believe, I don't know we're talking about the same person.
Speaker 1: Really, I think was she in suicide squad?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Then yes, all right, here's the thing, hear these fuckers
Speaker 1: come back, ruh. I know we've talked about it. But
Speaker 1: there is a lady with a big hat that walks
Speaker 1: down the hill at six in the morning talking on
Speaker 1: her fucking headphone, and she must be talking to somebody
Speaker 1: on the East coast, because that's the only other motherfuckers
Speaker 1: would be awake enough to see this conversation. Always with
Speaker 1: the hat pretty fucking big, like like the fucking like
Speaker 1: this light, but bigger. Jesus Christ ridicularly you don't given
Speaker 1: your mother knows you. There's the hat lady. So hat
Speaker 1: woman rolling down either down fucking the street or up
Speaker 1: the street, and again six in the morning.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: So that I said to him, like, you're out of
Speaker 1: your mind. No, that's oh ratchet, no way, I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that. Like top of her fucking lungs. I get
Speaker 1: up and I tiptoe around this house like a fucking
Speaker 1: hippo ninja because God forbid we wake smoug.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And meanwhile this hat woman and fucking all I hear
Speaker 1: from the closes curtains is and I'm like, you pieces
Speaker 1: ship you will sleeping giant o.
Speaker 2: God.
Speaker 1: Yeah, chickens laugh man, she laughed. Every once in a while,
Speaker 1: I want to yeat, but then I feel like a
Speaker 1: fucking Karen to be like, you know, people are still sleep.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, she'd be like, you just yelled
Speaker 1: at me, asshole. So then I would have to go
Speaker 1: downstairs and can you imagine, Yeah, but could you imagine,
Speaker 1: like she's walking down the street talking to full volume.
Speaker 1: I come out of the house and walk right up
Speaker 1: to her like that. That. I was raised differently by
Speaker 1: both my mother and your mother.
Speaker 2: Excuse me the big hat.
Speaker 1: She can't even hear they excuse me because she got
Speaker 1: the headphones out and ship. She lives in her own
Speaker 1: fucking world. But believe me, I'd be in that world
Speaker 1: if all of a sudden I came out of the house.
Speaker 1: I'm not even talking like I I'm smoking out of
Speaker 1: the house. I'm like, but if I was just outside
Speaker 1: the house, because I can hear all the way up
Speaker 1: the hill and standing on the curb just as she
Speaker 1: was coming down Tony she that would be perceived as
Speaker 1: it's threatening.
Speaker 2: I mean, now I wouldn't suggest that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, then what carry a pigeon?
Speaker 2: Hold up a sign? Can you be quiet? My wife
Speaker 2: is sleeping and she's mean when she wakes up.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of letters. She'd have to do this shit, peer,
Speaker 1: can't I just write, bitch? Shut up?
Speaker 2: Hey? Hat fucking.
Speaker 1: The long hat. It's a super elongated hat. Every once
Speaker 1: in a while, she has dogs with her, but they're
Speaker 1: little annoying dogs.
Speaker 2: Oh are they not the cute ones?
Speaker 1: No, they're the ones. My dad.
Speaker 2: A special taste in dogs. Oh oh my god, what
Speaker 2: a snack for walk.
Speaker 1: Total snack the curly haired kind. Yeah, you know the
Speaker 1: little white ones like, look, you love a dog, love
Speaker 1: a dog, but we love animals.
Speaker 2: We're vegan.
Speaker 1: But pound for pound man like, if a dog weighs
Speaker 1: less than a cat, is it a dog anymore? Shacky
Speaker 1: checking in my less than a cat? She might fucking
Speaker 1: heavy cats, but Shakey has some girth through Cheky was
Speaker 1: a good twenty pounder. Man.
Speaker 2: Have you picked up move lately?
Speaker 1: Heavy? He's like, well you think they call me move
Speaker 1: as fine as a cot? Help me work out a
Speaker 1: box in about yard, Grandpa? Like me, I don't know
Speaker 1: anything about box. Take me on a run, Grandpa. Come on, grandpa, God,
Speaker 1: trade me like you Mickey and I was Rocky. No,
Speaker 1: come on, grandpas won't be rockty.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you.
Speaker 1: Yell me like he's Mickey cut me big. That's when
Speaker 1: I'll say, trade me, Grandpa, it's too fat from a
Speaker 1: good I never do get girlfriend? Oh he will.
Speaker 2: Won't tell him he can?
Speaker 1: He can't? Is he fixed? He is never going to
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend. You ever have that discussion with.
Speaker 2: Relationship?
Speaker 1: Where's my nuts? Mommy? Mommy?
Speaker 2: I woke up in my.
Speaker 1: Nuts were mummy that uh my nuts have not returned?
Speaker 2: Do you know that I have a photo of linuses.
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it. Why would you have thats.
Speaker 2: Because I was at the time, I was friends with
Speaker 2: someone that worked at the villa.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: Photos.
Speaker 1: And also as a vegan, how can you justify the
Speaker 1: whole like getting them fixed? Thing? Oh?
Speaker 2: Because it's extremely important because there are so many homeless
Speaker 2: animal in the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why would your animals?
Speaker 2: Because what if my animals have more more kittens and
Speaker 2: then I have to try to distribute them and find
Speaker 2: homes for them.
Speaker 1: That's the responsibility as a cat.
Speaker 2: On that's taking away a home from a cat that
Speaker 2: could have been adopted by said people who took my kittens.
Speaker 1: Because there's already kittens in the world.
Speaker 2: You're saying, yes, there are already so many homeless animals
Speaker 2: in the world.
Speaker 1: Mommy, us real weak sauce for wise, I can't get
Speaker 1: laid just because there's kiddies in the world. Mummy, wrapped out, Rascal,
Speaker 1: let me have some sex, Billy, where's my balls? Give
Speaker 1: me the I care have them?
Speaker 2: Baby? Can you glutle them back on the world.
Speaker 1: You must have been a dog nearby just in case.
Speaker 2: Just because of need the one day moment That was
Speaker 2: the ultimate example of why you should fix your pets.
Speaker 1: Want to pass on the jeans because he's like, well, no, no, Bill, oh,
Speaker 1: Bill the babbit.
Speaker 2: Why Bill became an infinitely better man once he had
Speaker 2: his balls removed.
Speaker 1: Better or you know, more controllable.
Speaker 2: He was sucking all my cats. He was humping them,
Speaker 2: humping all my cat.
Speaker 1: I mean that's on Bill and then it's up to a.
Speaker 2: Cat and all over the place.
Speaker 1: Oh, he don't do that either.
Speaker 2: No, when he was when he was fixed.
Speaker 1: Once she took his balls, he stopped shooting and pissing
Speaker 1: and stopped humping.
Speaker 2: And now he's a very respectful man. Except he does
Speaker 2: bite me when I feed him crunchy bears. But that's
Speaker 2: only because he's very excited.
Speaker 1: No, it's only because you took his balls.
Speaker 2: About the crunchy bears. But no, I think he's British.
Speaker 1: May mother, Yeah, may I have my testicles back?
Speaker 2: Please? Have a ways? Can I cannot? Please? How do
Speaker 2: you do it?
Speaker 1: That's your British mother? Matha mother, May I please have
Speaker 1: my testicles back? Please? That was Masa, Masa, may I
Speaker 1: have my test Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's Bill.
Speaker 1: Oh Bill, watsh's bulls? Back Bill's bulls. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: where they are? Oh so much more to cover.
Speaker 2: But here's a reminder. We were fired from my hard radio.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're gonna hear the whole story next episode. Whoa,
Speaker 1: that's right, it's Cliffhanger. You spent so much time sucking
Speaker 1: Delta One's dick, my god, as if they were a
Speaker 1: fucking sponsor of the show.
Speaker 2: For evident, we should wrap up Can Real Quick?
Speaker 1: Uh, all right, go ahead, wrap it up.
Speaker 2: We We'll just wrap up Can Real Quick.
Speaker 1: I'm done. I finished CAN forty minutes ago. So do
Speaker 1: what you buy? All right?
Speaker 2: Yes, to talk about Can Real Quick. I have never
Speaker 2: seen anything like it.
Speaker 1: It was even fancier than the Delta was actually.
Speaker 2: Fancier than the Dozen one launch. Your hotel had a barricade.
Speaker 2: It was so fancy. You needed a badge identification to
Speaker 2: get into the hotkeys a hotel for a festival pass
Speaker 2: to get into the hotel, and there was a barricade
Speaker 2: with photographers and fans waiting outside the hotel.
Speaker 1: Stood outside the hotel all day long, waiting for somebody
Speaker 1: famous all day.
Speaker 2: And then the spiral staircase and went up eight floors.
Speaker 2: Every model walked down and used as a run win.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody took pictures on the stairs. It was very fancy,
Speaker 1: very fancy.
Speaker 2: It was the fanciest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: We went there because we stayed there years ago, back
Speaker 1: when we were here for there for the clerks too,
Speaker 1: And I remember that was the same year that X
Speaker 1: Men Last Stand was there. Ian McKellen played Magneto. I'm
Speaker 1: in the lobby of the Martinez trying to use the
Speaker 1: Wi Fi because you couldn't access in your room in
Speaker 1: those days and stuff. And Ian McKellen comes in in
Speaker 1: a bathrobe and nothing else. And then it comes up
Speaker 1: to the you know, checking desk, and he's just like,
Speaker 1: I've been locked out of my room. Wow. And they
Speaker 1: were like, oh, one second please. He turned around and
Speaker 1: looked at me and smiled.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 1: Story, it's famous, Scandalf, motherfucker. Gandalf got locked out as
Speaker 1: your important. The story is, it's not really Gandalf because
Speaker 1: he couldn't magic is fucking door open? That's what I said,
Speaker 1: hegandal why don't you imagine give fucking door open? But
Speaker 1: he was gone by that point he didn't hear me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it probably best, yeah.
Speaker 1: Right, because what if it was magic, and he was
Speaker 1: just like, you shall not passs. Did you ever see
Speaker 1: the Lord of the Rings movies? I'm not even saying
Speaker 1: you have to. Like normally, sometimes I'll say do you
Speaker 1: ever see this? And you're like no, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: but people love them, ring I think.
Speaker 2: I should see them. I mean, I recently took The
Speaker 2: Lord of the Rings, the first book from your library.
Speaker 2: Why looks like a cool cover, good luck?
Speaker 1: Yeah, thick read.
Speaker 2: It's actually thinner than one would think. Yeah, better than
Speaker 2: a Harry Potter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Harry Potter I found to be more user
Speaker 1: friendly because the kid's book, whereas Lord of the Rings
Speaker 1: is like scholarly work.
Speaker 2: Remember how Billy your vintage copy of the Silence of
Speaker 2: the Lambs.
Speaker 1: I remember how my daughter I lent my doctor a
Speaker 1: cherished copy of a book, one of the only books
Speaker 1: I've ever read in this world, held onto my same
Speaker 1: copy in every home I've ever lived, and I gave
Speaker 1: it to her and she stopped bring it back, and
Speaker 1: I A rabbit's gonna rabbit. It ain't Bill's fault, It's
Speaker 1: the fault of the person that's like, here, Bill eat
Speaker 1: my father's book.
Speaker 2: But when we did leave for Europe. Austin did put
Speaker 2: a magazine under the bed for Bill?
Speaker 1: Yes, you stay off the fucking books you eat this
Speaker 1: Bill was like by the end of day one, done
Speaker 1: with the magazine. Gotta leave my phone book. Do you
Speaker 1: know what a phone book is?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: Do they still have them?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: You don't have a phone book?
Speaker 2: Well why would I? And please tell me why?
Speaker 1: I mean they just used to send him like you
Speaker 1: didn't buy it. They just sent it to you when
Speaker 1: you had a phone line. It was just something you got.
Speaker 2: I don't get a phone book.
Speaker 1: I guess they don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't think so. It would be a big waste paper.
Speaker 1: I mean, well that doesn't stop fucking industry ever. But
Speaker 1: that's crazy I think about it. They used to be
Speaker 1: a big thing. Like ever hear the new phone book?
Speaker 1: Like are we in it? I'm famous?
Speaker 2: There are two more things to touch only two more
Speaker 2: things to touch on from Canadon people were like.
Speaker 1: Fuck camp, what do you mean you're getting fired? No,
Speaker 1: that's a whole story to that.
Speaker 2: Two more points to canon. Okay, One, we were there
Speaker 2: when the entire south of France lost power. That's true,
Speaker 2: and that was a little crazy.
Speaker 1: That was wild man. We were walking them down the
Speaker 1: quaset and everything was off. You couldn't buy anything because
Speaker 1: like they couldn't.
Speaker 2: Somebody intentionally set a fire to a power n bank
Speaker 2: of the sort, yeah, and there was no power in
Speaker 2: the whole city and Austin Mom and I spent the
Speaker 2: whole day at the beach, but somebody didn't want to join.
Speaker 1: I'm not a beach guy, so I went back to
Speaker 1: the hotel were you scaled watch? I had Rocky and
Speaker 1: bowl Winkle downloaded.
Speaker 2: So, because when you're in the South of France, the
Speaker 2: best thing to do is watch cartoons and not be
Speaker 2: on the beach.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not a beach person. I grew up
Speaker 1: in a beach town. Like I could have gone to
Speaker 1: the beach every day in my life.
Speaker 2: You believe the Mediterranean, see it's a little different.
Speaker 1: I mean, no, a beach is a beach. And also
Speaker 1: when have you ever known me to be like, let's
Speaker 1: go where, let's enter the food chain, like this motherfucker
Speaker 1: here just went to like North Carolina and then the
Speaker 1: next day they were like biggest shark ever seen in
Speaker 1: America in North Carolina, like fucking twenty minutes from where
Speaker 1: she was swimming. I've never like the only time in
Speaker 1: our lifetime together, unbelievable. I was in Hawaii when you
Speaker 1: were a kid. That was the last time I went
Speaker 1: in the ocean.
Speaker 2: Will you ever go in the ocean again?
Speaker 1: No? And believe me, I don't feel like.
Speaker 2: What if I was drowning?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that don't fucking put me.
Speaker 2: If I was drowning in the ocean, would you come
Speaker 2: and get me or would you let me go?
Speaker 1: I mean, they'd say, like most drowning, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not a strong swimmer, So if I got in there,
Speaker 1: chances are you're going to fucking drown me because oh god,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I ain't strong enough.
Speaker 2: To so you'd let me drown?
Speaker 1: I mean, what are you doing in the ocean anyway? See,
Speaker 1: why don't you make it easy on all of us?
Speaker 1: And you don't go in the ocean? Wow? Am I
Speaker 1: anywhere near the ocean when you're in it? Oh? No?
Speaker 2: Maybe we're in the South brance and the power of
Speaker 2: the entire city goes out or the entire.
Speaker 1: South's mother, she was there, she should have been diving
Speaker 1: in and stuff like that. I can't I can't do it. All. Fuck,
Speaker 1: I pay for everything. I can't be expected to be
Speaker 1: on shark watch as well, especially if you're going to
Speaker 1: be at the beach, Like that's a choice, and right
Speaker 1: then and there, going to the beach is one thing
Speaker 1: going into the ocean that is entering the food chain.
Speaker 1: Like you, it's not even infinitismally increasing your chances of
Speaker 1: being fucking eating alive, it's increasing them by massive amounts.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, but that being said, if I
Speaker 1: saw you fucking drowning, I would definitely try to go
Speaker 1: in and say you probably drowned myself. But you know what,
Speaker 1: if you weren't alive anymore, maybe I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: be either, period. How about that? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: But fuck ew, that was a real like you know,
Speaker 1: fucking I don't like that. It's so fun. I like
Speaker 1: hypotheticals that are like, yeah, you're hypothetical. Is like if
Speaker 1: I was going to fucking die, would you save my
Speaker 1: life over man watering? Yeah, of course, but like fucking
Speaker 1: but that is not me choosing to go in the
Speaker 1: ocean because I'm like, look at me, I mean a
Speaker 1: body of water. When I own my own pool, it's
Speaker 1: like going to drive go carts, like I got a
Speaker 1: driver's license, Im gonna drive a big boy car. What
Speaker 1: am I going to go in the ocean for it? Man?
Speaker 1: I got my own ass pool, and even if I
Speaker 1: were someplace where I'm my own ass pool, I'm going
Speaker 1: to shower. That's why I control the water, my God,
Speaker 1: I gotta control the elements.
Speaker 2: Man, and he doesn't want to go in the Mediterranean
Speaker 2: Sea because he has a shower. We have shower at homeower.
Speaker 1: We have ocean at home, and it's the shower.
Speaker 2: We have ocean at home.
Speaker 1: Dad, Do you want to go in the ocean. We
Speaker 1: have ocean at home.
Speaker 2: What is it the shower?
Speaker 1: Your father's talking about the shower. Leave it be, not
Speaker 1: even the pool, leave it be. Just don't ask, please,
Speaker 1: that's kind of baffling.
Speaker 2: You're telling me last thing to touch.
Speaker 1: Only show that never ends.
Speaker 2: Last. Because it was very important to mother to musall
Speaker 2: the whole trip, the whole trip in the fact, that
Speaker 2: was important.
Speaker 1: Yes, your mother, not mine.
Speaker 2: Mine.
Speaker 1: My mother wanted to go too. She kept saying, didn't
Speaker 1: want to go Tiger.
Speaker 2: I wish I could go.
Speaker 1: No she can't. That's why I'm like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about? But she was like, I want to go
Speaker 1: with Can. That sounds fun.
Speaker 2: Can with momiy would be awesome.
Speaker 1: Well, no, it wouldn't. Mommy, Lee can't can barely walk
Speaker 1: get her up the stairs the palais. We would have
Speaker 1: to like put our arms up carry her up the
Speaker 1: goddamn stairs. Then I got a chair lift on the palais, man,
Speaker 1: So I would have been a night.
Speaker 2: Getting up the spiral staircase.
Speaker 1: Yes, elevators out, we gotta go the stairs, Oh, tiger,
Speaker 1: I'll just stay down here. I'll just go in the
Speaker 1: ocean and whatever happens happens. Mom only no, please, yeah, no.
Speaker 1: She was talking about like, oh, I would like to
Speaker 1: go to your hat. How does it happen?
Speaker 2: It's getting out of hand this evening. What's happening is
Speaker 2: getting out of hand this evening.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I'm just gonna shave the front of
Speaker 1: my head please, and I never have to worry about
Speaker 1: it again. But it is cute. More I am in
Speaker 1: public and doing shows like during the Dogmator, there is
Speaker 1: a lot of fix your hat, really yeah? And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, listener, I saw a lot of Tickla
Speaker 1: shirts out in the audience, really yeah, And speaking of
Speaker 1: beer the Stickless Man.
Speaker 2: We're fired.
Speaker 1: More on that later. You want to see it live
Speaker 1: for the first and last time, our very last episode
Speaker 1: of Beardless Tickless Me.
Speaker 2: Will be live.
Speaker 1: We'll be the live episode.
Speaker 2: That's Moncastle Cinemas.
Speaker 1: You're like, wait, why is it the last episode. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a whole other story that we'll tell you.
Speaker 2: Next week because we were fired.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean that's a long and short of it.
Speaker 1: But this is much more interesting than that. But really
Speaker 1: it's not more interesting. It's much more baffling than that.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure Daniel might hear this and be like,
Speaker 1: wait a second, pre you do that second episode, let's
Speaker 1: have a conversation. No wow, when Daniel's.
Speaker 2: Not his Danel, Daniel's lovely.
Speaker 1: Lovely dude. But yeah, but we're going.
Speaker 2: To speak on it. We're going to speak on it.
Speaker 2: We're going to be honest with the dick list.
Speaker 1: We are going to stand on business. As they say
Speaker 1: on the internet.
Speaker 2: Listen, we were fired.
Speaker 1: At Beardless Dickless Me live at Smadcastle Cinema's Kids July fifth.
Speaker 1: I think it's seven o'clock a night, or a o'clock
Speaker 1: or something like that. Beardless, Stickless me live for the
Speaker 1: first and last time, if you could totally expect to
Speaker 1: see some give Me Back My Name Woman.
Speaker 2: If we sell it out, Yeah, we can screen the
Speaker 2: entire performance of The Crucible featuring myself as John Proctor
Speaker 2: aka give Me Back My Name Woman.
Speaker 1: They're going to see some of it there. But when
Speaker 1: would we show that afterwards?
Speaker 2: If you want to stick around and watch an hour.
Speaker 1: There's already a thing going on afterwards. Oh, yoga hosers
Speaker 1: at eleven o'clock.
Speaker 2: Who stay around It's at eleven pm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's a midnight move.
Speaker 2: A nighttime hosers screening.
Speaker 1: And nighttime hosers. So you and I will be doing
Speaker 1: Beardless Stickless Mate live for the first and last time.
Speaker 1: Then when the show's over, like an hour later, we
Speaker 1: intro Yoga hoss and if you want to sit there
Speaker 1: and watch it, and we can sit there and watch it.
Speaker 1: But five dollars show that show's five Yeah, che I mean,
Speaker 1: yogas is a tough sell, so I always got to
Speaker 1: lower the price. But so far we have already sold
Speaker 1: more tickets to this yogos Are screening than the other
Speaker 1: three aborted screenings in the past. Beardless stick with me
Speaker 1: is out selling it, but it better. But yes, those
Speaker 1: tickets are on sale right now. Kids. It's c smod
Speaker 1: dot com s E E S M O D right
Speaker 1: right there in Atlantic Islands, New Jersey. If you're on
Speaker 1: the East coast anywhere, this is worth making the trip for. Man,
Speaker 1: You're gonna watch something beautiful be born and then die.
Speaker 1: The death, the birth beardless and death that beardless.
Speaker 2: Stick with me, you can get you can get the
Speaker 2: very last stick lit shirts.
Speaker 1: Is that right? You're bringing them?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm bringing them. You better.
Speaker 1: Uh, doors close and doors.
Speaker 2: Open to be continued.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, get your tickets now though, kids, ce smod
Speaker 1: dot com Beardless Sickless Me Live. It's Moncastle Cinemas, July fifth,
Speaker 1: Man with a yoga hosers screening afterwards and stuff for
Speaker 1: the yogos are screening. It's five bucks if you just
Speaker 1: want to see the movie. If you pay ten, you
Speaker 1: get a yogazers pen.
Speaker 2: Well, well, we cool.
Speaker 1: Next week Harley will talk about Spain, M Harley and
Speaker 1: Espana de Donda or aka de dondas La Patia's.
Speaker 2: The only thing you know how to say.
Speaker 1: And we will tell the story of.
Speaker 2: iHeart I Corazone so true.
Speaker 1: I heartbroken, so much, to so much to say, so
Speaker 1: much to talk about. So many more adventures, well really
Speaker 1: very few. We are now on the countdown. Kids. There
Speaker 1: was only four or beardless dickless means left.
Speaker 2: After this, only four more. You better saber them all.
Speaker 1: Just think and think like this ain't a sad thing.
Speaker 1: This is a good thing, one last thing for you
Speaker 1: to have to listen.
Speaker 2: To, you know what, so true until the next thing,
Speaker 2: the next thing be good.
Speaker 1: This, though, is your chance to be there. Man, when
Speaker 1: history is fucking made.
Speaker 2: History is mate. What day is it?
Speaker 1: July fifth?
Speaker 2: July fifth, I'll be twenty six, I'll do my golden year.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: So magic is gonna happen.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be big, man.
Speaker 2: It's a really important day for for the dick looks
Speaker 2: of the world.
Speaker 1: You can come get fucked up by much by obey.
Speaker 2: You're not allowed to do that.
Speaker 1: You can bring alcohol into the theater, yeah, if we
Speaker 1: have if we say, like, oh, the screening is like
Speaker 1: b yob really we can't sneak it into the theater.
Speaker 1: But if you're like, hey, I brought this alcohol and
Speaker 1: I would like to drink it here, I don't think
Speaker 1: we'd be like, I'm sorry, you can't do that.
Speaker 2: You should ask Ernie.
Speaker 1: I will, but like we don't get enough people coming
Speaker 1: in for Ernie to be like, I'm sorry, you can't
Speaker 1: drink that in here. I think Ernie'd be like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, yeah, bring all your drunk friends please. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think especially if we're doing it, like you know,
Speaker 1: when we do comedy shows and shit like that, it's
Speaker 1: very much like Meetwyobe because we don't sell booth, so yeah,
Speaker 1: you can come get fucked up on your own dime.
Speaker 1: This's weird though, Like we had a screening of Dogma
Speaker 1: the day it opened because I was on the East
Speaker 1: Coast and doing press and I did the Morrison Gallery
Speaker 1: photography thing for the Dogma Heart and uh then I
Speaker 1: went down to s Podcastle and we had a screening
Speaker 1: and two people were really drunk and we had to
Speaker 1: I didn't, but the police had to be called. Oh,
Speaker 1: because you can't tell. You can't like you know, obviously
Speaker 1: you can you can't lay hands on a per but
Speaker 1: you can't force people to go if you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: time to go, and they're just like sitting there drunken
Speaker 1: ship And the next thing you do is.
Speaker 2: Please, let's not embarrass ourselves at the at the funeral
Speaker 2: for Beardless stickless me.
Speaker 1: Yes. So when I say get fucked up, maybe.
Speaker 2: Like responsibly tipsy?
Speaker 1: Please drinking at the beginning of the show. Yes, in
Speaker 1: the end some people came in drunk for the dog screen.
Speaker 2: Let's please keep it classy at the Beardless stickless funeral.
Speaker 1: True. This is the death of something, something beautiful, and
Speaker 1: you'll be there to see it. Man. Tickets at seaspont
Speaker 1: dot com. So much more story to tell, only four
Speaker 1: episodes to do it. The countdown is on, kids, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, beardless dickless uh death, Beardless stickless death awaits
Speaker 1: four episodes left to go, man, and that last one
Speaker 1: is going to be a doozy. You could be there
Speaker 1: lived the end is nighe that's right man. The iHeart
Speaker 1: is going to stop beating they start beating up.
Speaker 2: I like that, not like physically, but just emotionally.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh it's okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll see. There's so much to talk about and
Speaker 1: we'll get there. Kids. Uh, there it is. There's your
Speaker 1: beer the stickles mate. If you've been like going, you know,
Speaker 1: I never watched the show. I only listened to it. Well,
Speaker 1: chance that kevinsmithclub dot com kids, you could sign up
Speaker 1: and you can see what we're talking about round. You
Speaker 1: can watch our expressions as we talk about everything.
Speaker 2: You can watch my dad yan when I talk.
Speaker 1: I mean, I am tired. I that you're boring, but
Speaker 1: I don't get to sleep as much as you do,
Speaker 1: especially and you go to sleep at like weird hours
Speaker 1: and then stay asleep until weird hours of the day.
Speaker 1: I sleep about four hours a night.
Speaker 2: That's concerning.
Speaker 1: So it's not believe me you're great, but like that's
Speaker 1: I'm sitting in one place getting comfortable and yeah, my
Speaker 1: body's still with you.
Speaker 2: It's okay, I'm not.
Speaker 1: It wasn't okay. He brought it up in front of everybody.
Speaker 2: I mean to him, pea.
Speaker 1: Everybody's just like I thought he was a good dad.
Speaker 1: Apparently not.
Speaker 2: I have to say the last thing about Can. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and then it's over, okay, and then this episode is done.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm here for it.
Speaker 2: When you were at Can premiering talk about williamendem in
Speaker 2: whatever year that was, nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 1: I presume, yes, nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 2: Mom was there with you, Yes, pregnant with me. Yes
Speaker 2: this time. Yes, twenty five years later, you were back
Speaker 2: with the same movie. But I was born and I
Speaker 2: was an adult. I was twenty five, and I was
Speaker 2: there with my fiance, and it meant a lot to mother.
Speaker 2: It did.
Speaker 1: Oh, let's believe me. That's the whole reason we went.
Speaker 2: It meant a whole lot to mon though it was.
Speaker 1: I was happy to go, believe me. But it left
Speaker 1: to my own brothers, I would probably have not. I've
Speaker 1: been like, Oh, that's great, give me the certificate, send
Speaker 1: it back. That's all I cared about, was the thing
Speaker 1: your frame that says you were there. And uh, Jennifer's like, no.
Speaker 1: When I went for a dogma, she was in my
Speaker 1: belly as I walked up the stairs. Now she could
Speaker 1: be out of my belly and walk up the stairs
Speaker 1: with us, And so I was like, all right. She
Speaker 1: was very into that notion.
Speaker 2: It was very special for her, for us, all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but very special.
Speaker 2: She cried a lot, did She cried a lot in.
Speaker 1: A good way and the way of like my father
Speaker 1: yawns in front of me.
Speaker 2: That's what I'll be crying about later tonight.
Speaker 1: Cried about in therapy this week. Motherfuckers crying. You just
Speaker 1: yawned right in front of me. And one of the
Speaker 1: last episodes of for the Cock.
Speaker 2: That's what I talked about about this week.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Just one Sometimes fathers are just tired. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: one note?
Speaker 2: Can speaking.
Speaker 1: Uh July fifth, see all of this energy live in
Speaker 1: our homeland included where both of us were born. Not
Speaker 1: the movie theater, but in.
Speaker 2: New Jersey, very very close in a very special screening
Speaker 2: of a very special performance of the Crucible.
Speaker 1: That's right, man, you're going to see pieces of give
Speaker 1: me back. My name is Stephen, who is our tech
Speaker 1: genius over there. He's our vegan friend who always gives
Speaker 1: me ship about whenever I'm like, you used to be happy,
Speaker 1: now I'm vegan, He's like, man, I'm tired of that
Speaker 1: vegan joke.
Speaker 2: Me too, Steven.
Speaker 1: And even in like Birds of a Feather he is
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, man, I got this sandwich. Hey I
Speaker 1: got this Like he explores, brings desserts down and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. And he also stops at my favorite trying
Speaker 1: Papa ganage. They do the MDLS.
Speaker 2: Oh I know, I know them modles.
Speaker 1: But any event, Stephen was like, uh, can you send
Speaker 1: me the DVD? So I could start inputting it into
Speaker 1: the system.
Speaker 2: Did you send it?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna but he's so excited. It was his idea.
Speaker 1: He was like, dude, give me the crucible. Oh God, yeah,
Speaker 1: I do. I have it. I had a copy like
Speaker 1: stuff that I shot on my phone years ago, but
Speaker 1: mom has the school shot.
Speaker 2: It is production horribly embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Can't be by.
Speaker 2: You have never seen anyone more passionate.
Speaker 1: You're going to see acting. Acting comes down to a
Speaker 1: job of choices. You're going to see some choices, some
Speaker 1: choices won't Oh, she cooked in the audience.
Speaker 2: Ate the audience. I think the audience was like, it's
Speaker 2: just like.
Speaker 1: Jesus, interesting flavor. Guess I can eat, spit it out
Speaker 1: the audience. Hardy cooked and the audience moved it around
Speaker 1: on the plate, put some on the other people's plates.
Speaker 2: You with the Opra girl, you wouldn't.
Speaker 1: Even eat the bun. No, you'll see it's there's some
Speaker 1: good ship. But it's gonna be fun to put it
Speaker 1: up on the big screen, projected on one of the greatest,
Speaker 1: one of the best projectors in the state of New Jersey.
Speaker 1: Oh God, high precision, and they're going to see every
Speaker 1: poor of acting.
Speaker 2: Every vein popping out of my head because some passion
Speaker 2: this was on that state.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you fucking you showed old Farley what he was missing.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, look at me, mister Farley, look at me now.
Speaker 1: After that performance was directed at get me back my name?
Speaker 1: I mean what, man, I.
Speaker 2: Forget us about.
Speaker 1: There? It is, kids, there's one of five, well now four? Yeah, beardless,
Speaker 1: stickless means left. Ever, it's like watching the fucking last
Speaker 1: of a dodo.
Speaker 2: Die, like the species. Oh man, yeah, man, you.
Speaker 1: Want to watch something something beautiful die.
Speaker 2: I also played the Dodo bird in a school production
Speaker 2: of Alice in Wonderland. Fun Fast.
Speaker 1: You trying to get a job drop like? I also
Speaker 1: did this role, and I also play this play. I
Speaker 1: played not practice makes she makes it, and she made
Speaker 1: choices of the Dodo bird as well. I think I
Speaker 1: have pictures that I don't have to photo do that
Speaker 1: for the best. No, it's durable. Yes, kids, beardless stickless
Speaker 1: me is ending and you could be there, and you'll
Speaker 1: be there as it dies. You will. Krypton's about to explode. Kids,
Speaker 1: Put your babies and rockets, send them off to other
Speaker 1: planets where they'll be safe. There beardless dickless me for
Speaker 1: this week your little ticklets for beardless diickless me. I'm
Speaker 1: Kevin Smith. Go have a beardless dickless day, because you
Speaker 1: only do it four more fucking times. This has been
Speaker 1: a podcast production, some podcast podcast using our mouths on
Speaker 1: you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you
Speaker 1: like what you just heard? Well, guess what. We've got
Speaker 1: tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for
Speaker 1: you at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Go sign up
Speaker 1: now