Show Notes
TRANSCRIPT FOR EP35:
Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about AM I WORTH LOVING. 我值得爱吗?
When we are young, we are loved by our parents especially when we are born, we have no ability to do so. However most of us learn how to love, we may not know how to love ourselves yet but slowly we will be able to gradually have self-love.
Our family of origin as I have mentioned in my previous episode will affect our way of thinking, they refer to the people who take care of us as well as the people that a person grows up with, for example, siblings. They affect our thinking, behaviour and also our character. In some cases, it can also affect our whole life.
When I first started to work in Singapore, I had a group of friends that I hung out with. Sometimes we will get to know new friends and often I will get this comment from these people that my voice is rather soft and coy, it seems like I want to get people’s attention.
Another common comment that I would get often was that I seem like a flower vase and have no ability to accomplish anything.
These comments made me upset as it was not my intention to behave in such a manner. This causes me to have no confidence in myself.
Whenever someone gives me advice, I will be upset over the comments. I thought that I was an open-minded person, in actual fact, I am not. I only can accept good comments and I am unable to take any negative ones.
Even though people try to find fault with me, I used to believe that I was the problem.
For the past 15 years, I was seeking confirmation from others instead of myself. Very often I would also question myself, am I a good leader, a good mother, good wife etc.
This is because I didn't really understand how to love myself and why I am worthy to be loved.
Whenever I do anything like joining a course or a workshop, I would first think about how others will view me, will my husband be angry, will it affect my work performance etc before thinking about myself and how I feel.
In my daily life, I found that I have very low energy, I also feel that my life is so boring and the same activities keep repeating, I don’t know what else can boost me up, I was also very negative about life and, thinking why life is against me. I wish that I could overcome this. I am unable to figure out the life I want.
Being a leader in my company, I am required to have the knowledge and ability to help overcome challenges. I found that I’m lacking in this area and was not able to lead by example and I badly wanted a change. Hence, I began to search for courses and workshops to learn and upgrade myself. As I’m working full time, I enrolled in online courses instead.
I attended this online course where I learnt how to love myself before loving others. I also learnt that in order to help and inspire others, I need to upgrade to a better version of myself.
Through the course, I realised that it is torturous to wait for others to love me the way I want,
I set a target and have a direction to what I want my life to be.
Now I know that I’m greater than before. I like what I am doing and I am comfortable with it, the way I look at the world becomes different, and there are plenty of opportunities. I accept my imperfection from myself as well as from others.
Breakthrough it and understand that you are worth more than you think you are. How you view yourself is the most important. And do not let other people's thoughts affect the way you think about yourself.
Do not allow yourself to be affected by other people’s comments and feedback.
Bring back your strength as I have mentioned in my previous episode. When you are self-sufficient, you will not need to wait for people to love you, and you can be clear about what you want to do.
Do not care too much about what others think about your performance. You just need to be yourself, perform that way you are. Are you enjoying what you are doing? If so, you can create a different life just by being yourself.
Where there is self-love, your doubts and worries will no longer be around.
When you ask yourself this question, Am I worth loving? Remember that no one can answer this except yourself, because only you can decide the answer for yourself.
If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.
End
What is SHE'S CONFIDENT WITH DEON TEH ?
She's confident - Imagine an event, a show where…
…women are gathering to inspire each other to step fully into their greatness.
A place where all the facades are dropped, and instead the real, raw truth is shared.
Imagine a safe place created just for you.
A place where you can dive deep into all of the fears that have been holding you captive.
A sacred place that allows you to hold space and support for each other as you dive deep into a life-changing transformation.
It is time for women’s voices to be heard
…for women to speak-up and share their truth and wisdom through the power of their stories.
This is why we are coming together to share the CONFIDENCE that gives women a stage to be real, raw and vulnerable as they share their stories so that TOGETHER we can lead with courage and Rise Up!