In this episode, Amelia and Lilly are joined by therapist Hilary Rosenberg for the conversation your TikTok algorithm hinted at but never fully explained: attachment styles—and how they quietly (or loudly) shape your dating life in your 20s.
Together, they unpack the four main styles (anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure) and explore how each one shows up in modern relationships. From the anxious-avoidant pull to the ways dating apps poke at our deepest insecurities, they explore how early experiences and emotional blueprints keep playing out in adult love—and what to do about it.
Hilary offers a refreshingly grounded take, including her signature “full-body yes” metaphor to help listeners tune into their nervous systems and navigate dating with more clarity, curiosity, and self-trust.
Therapy-Informed Takeaways:
- Attachment styles are learned early—usually before you knew what dating even was.
- The anxious/avoidant dynamic is common, but not sustainable without growth.
- TikTok might help you name your patterns; therapy helps you shift them.
- Insecure attachment often leads to code-switching or people-pleasing in dating.
- Online dating tends to magnify existing attachment triggers.
- Regulating your nervous system (not your hinge profile) is the real game-changer.
- Safe relationships support healing—but they might feel unfamiliar at first.
Related Episodes:
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millenniumhope.comWhat is Dating in Your 20s?
Hosted by Amelia and Lilly, two licensed therapists based in Chicago, Illinois, Dating in Your 20s dives into the chaos, comedy, and complexity of modern dating — all through a therapeutic lens. As two women in their 20s, Amelia and Lilly are in the trenches themselves, navigating everything from bad Hinge dates and ghosting to social media comparison and the pressure of modern relationships.
With a mix of humor, honesty, and clinical insight, each episode blends real-life dating experiences with psychological frameworks like attachment theory, emotional regulation, communication styles, and more. Whether you're healing from heartbreak, stuck in a situationship, or just wondering why dating feels so complicated right now, Amelia and Lilly are here to help you feel a little less alone — and a lot more understood.