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Carol Cox:
How comfortable are you thinking and speaking

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on your feet? That's what we're talking about

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in today's episode of the Speaking Your Brand

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podcast. More and more women are making an

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impact by starting businesses,

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running for office and speaking up for what

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matters. With my background as a TV political

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analyst, entrepreneur,

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and speaker, I interview and coach purpose

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driven women to shape their brands,

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grow their companies, and become recognized

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as influencers in their field.

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This is speaking your brand,

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your place to learn how to persuasively

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communicate your message to your audience.

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Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your

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Brand podcast. I'm your host,

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Carol Cox. Are you the type of speaker who

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loves to have your entire presentation

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scripted out?

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You have it pretty much word for word in a

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document, and then you have your slides.

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And then in the notes section underneath the

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slides, you have all of your notes for each

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slide. Well, in this episode I'm going to

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challenge you to think differently about your

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speaking and your presentations.

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I really want you to embrace and prompt you

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speaking. Now, this doesn't mean that you're

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not going to prepare for your presentations.

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You are. But I want you to get more practice

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being able to think and speak on your feet.

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Because have you ever had one of these

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situations happen to you?

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Number one, you're in a meeting or you're in

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a group and you're asked to share something

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on the spot. Maybe they're going around the

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room and they want everyone to answer a

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question, and you're the first person that

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they select. And so what usually happens is

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that you get really nervous.

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You feel at a loss for words,

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and maybe you mumble something, but you don't

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feel like it was a great answer.

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Or number two, you're at a networking event

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where you need to concisely share with the

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other people there who you are,

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what you do, and how you help people.

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But after you introduce yourself,

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you realize that you left out the most

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important part, or it felt just like a

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jumble. Or number three,

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you're leading a meeting where you need to

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motivate your team, but you didn't have an

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opportunity to prepare your message ahead of

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time. And so afterwards,

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you feel like you weren't as clear or you

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didn't come across as confident as you wanted

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to be. So regardless of how prepared you feel

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for the presentations that you give,

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where you have your outline on your slides,

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you still want to be as equally prepared for

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those situations that I just described.

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And yes, I realize it's an oxymoron to feel

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like you're prepared for impromptu speaking,

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but you absolutely can be.

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And as a leader and as a speaker,

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you really need to hone both your prepared

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and your impromptu speaking skills.

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So in this episode, I'm going to share with

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you why impromptu speaking is hard.

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Especially hard for us high achieving women.

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Why impromptu speaking matters so much to

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your development as a speaker and as a

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leader. Specific things you can do to get

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better at impromptu speaking.

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And I'm going to share some of my own

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impromptu speaking wins and fails.

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If you're new to the podcast,

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welcome here at Speaking Your Brand.

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We work with women entrepreneurs and

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professionals to clarify their brand message

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and story, create their signature talks,

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and develop their thought leadership

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platforms. Our mission is to get more women

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in positions of influence and power,

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because we know that change comes through

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women's stories, voices,

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visibility, and leadership.

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One of the things that will help you with

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impromptu speaking is knowing what kind of

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speaker you are.

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That's why I invite you to take our free

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speaker Archetype quiz.

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It just takes a few minutes.

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It's ten multiple choice questions and you're

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going to have a lot of fun taking it.

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You'll get your results right away so you

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know which kind of speaker you are.

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So you can leverage your strengths and then

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add to them to make you even more impactful.

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Take the free quiz at Speaking Your Brand.

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Again, that's speaking your brand. Now let's

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get on with the show.

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What exactly does impromptu mean?

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I looked it up on dictionary.com and here's

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the definition. Made or done without previous

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preparation, and the example that

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Dictionary.com gave is an impromptu address

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to the unexpected crowds.

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Another definition is something that suddenly

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or hastily prepared or made,

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like an impromptu dinner.

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And the third definition is improvised,

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having the character of an improvisation.

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And we're going to come back to improv in

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just a little bit, but made or done without

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previous preparation.

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And I think that's what scares us the most.

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Why is impromptu speaking so hard?

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Why do we fear it so much,

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and why do we feel like we're not good at

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thinking and speaking on our feet?

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I believe it's because for those of us who

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are high achieving women,

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we're so used to being good at the things

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that we do. And we generally we do the things

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that we're already good at.

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We did well in school,

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we've done well in our professional careers

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and in our businesses,

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and a lot of that has to do with preparation.

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We've studied for the exams.

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We made sure we did our homework on time and

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we were validated and we were encouraged for

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doing so. So that's why now when we put

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together our presentations and our talks and

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our keynotes, we want to make sure that our

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outline is filled out,

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that we have all of the notes, maybe even an

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entire script for it.

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All of our slides are done as well,

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because we're afraid we're not going to know

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what to say if we don't have everything

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scripted out, if we don't have all of our

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notes and slides.

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We don't want to mess up that perfectionism

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streak, I know runs really strong and a lot

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of us, and we want to say the exact right

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thing. This is why when we work with our

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clients and our thought leader Academy, and

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we've done their VIP to create their

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signature talk, and then their homework is to

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take what we've written on the post-it notes

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and then transcribe it into an outline.

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And some of them want to write out their

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entire talk. And we're talking,

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you know, 35, 45 minute talk,

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an entire talk.

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They want to write it all out word for word,

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and we tell them that that number one,

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that's going to be really hard because you're

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not going to want to memorize a talk that

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that's long. Number two,

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it's going to take you out of the present

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moment. If you're trying to remember what you

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wrote on your for your talk,

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instead of just engaging with the audience.

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And number three, you're not going to come

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across as natural and authentic when you're

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actually delivering the presentation to your

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audience. But I know, especially for those

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who are writers and yes,

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I see you. I know who you are,

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that you want to write everything out, and

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the reason you want to write everything out,

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I believe, is because you know that if you

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can put pen to paper, typewriter to the

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Google doc, that you're going to come up with

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the exact right words,

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the exact right thing to say to your

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audience. And I'm here to tell you that there

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are no magic words to say to your audience.

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Instead, it's about understanding where your

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audience is and having empathy for them,

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validating where they're at.

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It's not about having all the right answers

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or having those magic words or the perfect

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thing to say. It's about asking the big

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questions and helping your audience to

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understand what are the big questions?

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What are the conversations that need to be

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had? It's about you as the speaker and you as

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the leader, contributing to the conversation

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that's going on in the present moment.

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If everything that you do is always scripted

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and always prepared in advance,

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what if something has happened that day or

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the day before? You need to address it in

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your presentation, in your talk for that

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audience, how are you going to have the

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agility, the skill set to do that?

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It's also about recognizing the energy and

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the mood of your audience and adjusting as

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necessary. If your audience is really high

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energy in the moment, you want to make sure

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that you keep that energy up.

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In contrast, if your audience is really

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reflective, something's going on. Or maybe

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they have low energy because they just got

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back from lunch or a really hard session,

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you want to make sure that you're recognizing

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that and addressing it and then lifting their

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energy, if that's the appropriate thing to

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do. I talk more about this in episode 382

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from a couple of months ago called Three

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Signs You're Stuck in the Expert Trap,

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so I highly recommend that episode as well.

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This is why getting better at impromptu

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speaking matters to you both as a speaker and

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as a leader, because you're really there to

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lead your audience, to guide your audience to

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understanding where they're at and then where

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they want to go. I was on the debate team

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when I was in high school, and I did Model

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United Nations in college,

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and I've been on live TV so many times that

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I've lost count.

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So I had to get used very,

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very quickly to thinking and speaking on my

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feet. And I learned very quickly that there

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are no magic words, and there is no way that

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I would be able to have a prepared script

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when my when I go on live TV,

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unlike the anchors, I don't get a

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teleprompter with a script that's been

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written out in front of me.

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But there was a time when I was on live TV

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when I was asked a question,

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and for the first time in all of the segments

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I had been on, I stopped My literally,

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my mouth would not open and I didn't have an

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answer for the first time.

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And I think I sat there for about 10s.

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Now, luckily, we were recording a segment

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that was going to air the next morning,

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so this wasn't actually live.

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Most of the time that I was on TV,

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it was actually being broadcast live in real

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time, but this one wasn't.

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And the reason that I was stumped for 10s is

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that was the night of the 2016 election,

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and we all know how that went.

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It was about 11:30 p.m.

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that night, and it was clear that Hillary

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Clinton was not going to become the first

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woman president, as I and so many other women

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in this country had wanted to happen.

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And I was in a state of shock.

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A lot of the other people in the newsroom,

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I could tell, were in a state of shock.

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And so we were again filming a segment that

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was going to air the next morning, kind of

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just talking about what had happened and what

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was going to be coming next.

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So the reporter who I'd worked with the whole

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year, you know, we were sitting in the studio

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getting ready to record this segment. And so

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we start and he asked me a.

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I don't remember what the question is. He

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asked me the question and I just sat there.

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And like I said, like my I just didn't have

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any words. I was at a loss for words because

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of. That shock to the system.

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But very quickly I recovered and I just went

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on to to say my piece for this segment,

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but I'm sharing this story to let you know

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that all of us have those moments at some

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time. And the more times you speak,

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the more times you go on TV,

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the more interviews you do.

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There probably will come a time when you're

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at a loss for words or you are stumped by

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something. And so to me,

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it matters less about finding the magic

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words, and that in that situation then how

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you respond to yourself,

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how do you treat yourself?

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What kind of grace and compassion do you give

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to yourself in those moments?

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Or if you see someone else who's in that

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situation, how much grace and compassion do

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you give to them? So here's some specific

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things you can do to get better at impromptu

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speaking, and to feel more confident thinking

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and speaking on your feet.

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The first thing is to practice,

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practice, practice, practice sharing your key

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stories and your key points.

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Often, being a guest on podcasts doing

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podcast interviews is a great way to do this,

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as is hosting your own podcast.

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I've been doing this podcast for over seven

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years. This is episode 390,

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so I definitely have gotten more comfortable

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sharing my stories and my key points.

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Same thing with doing podcast interviews.

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And so have your your key stories from your

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story bank and have your framework and your

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key points. You can have some notes for you,

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but then go do those podcast interviews and

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just start sharing the same key stories and

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the same key points over and over again.

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As I always remind our clients,

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you know your own stories,

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you know your own content,

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you know your own framework.

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This is why we recommend for your framework

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that you have an acronym or an alliteration

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or a visual shape. It helps you remember it

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as much as it helps your audience to remember

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it. But you know your stories.

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You know your material.

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If I were to come to you and ask you to share

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a particular story, you could do it.

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Just like you were having lunch with a friend

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and sharing that story.

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So as you're going to your more prepared

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speaking engagements, your presentations try

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to rely less and less on having a full

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outline with a whole bunch of notes.

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Try to rely less and less on the notes

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section of your slides.

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That bottom section I actually I don't use it

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at all. You really don't need it.

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Use the slides as your visual guide,

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your own visual guide, or the audience visual

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guide as well, and rely less and less on your

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on the text, on the content of your slides.

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You really shouldn't have a lot of text on

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your slides to begin with.

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Now here's an example of the power of having

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practiced sharing your stories and your key

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points often.

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Just this past February,

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we held our three day in-person client

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retreat where we brought together 12 women

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for three days, where we practiced for the

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first two days, and the third day they filmed

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the speaking segments that they had practice

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so that they would have it for their speaker

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real. Well, in the morning of that third day,

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Diane and I also were going to film a few of

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our own speaking segments. So these speaking

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segments are about five minutes long.

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Well, leading up to the retreat, I kind of

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had an idea of what segments I wanted to

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film. I wanted to film one with props,

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I wanted to film one with some audience

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engagement and so on.

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But that morning of that third day,

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I was taking a shower to get ready,

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and all of a sudden this story popped into my

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mind. The story of that not great Ted talk

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that I gave back in October of 2016,

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and I've talked about it here on the podcast,

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most recently back at the beginning of March

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for Women's History Month.

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So as I was taking the shower that morning,

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kind of that I was thinking about that

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speaking engagement, and all of a sudden I

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realized the story I had been telling myself

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about that speaking fail was actually not

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quite right. What was it was right.

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But there was much more to the story.

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So I started kind of thinking about this in

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my mind, and then I started framing how I was

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going to deliver the speaking segment.

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So how was I going to open?

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What parts of the story was I going to share,

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and then how was I going to end it?

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So I did all this and you know,

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the five minutes that I was in the shower. So

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we get to that day three,

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you know, we were getting everything ready.

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The film crew was there and all that. And

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then Diane and I are ready to film our

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segment. So we filmed some segments together,

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and then I was like, okay, I'm just going to

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00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:28,330
go ahead and go for this. I haven't practiced

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00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,890
it at all. I had zero notes.

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Nothing had written out whatsoever,

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just what I had thought of that morning. So I

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00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,370
get up there and I deliver the whole thing

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00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:39,130
with no pausing, no redos whatsoever.

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Five minutes now, looking back at it,

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00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:44,290
there are some things that I would change

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00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,690
about it, but very minor.

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00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:47,010
No one else would notice it.

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But that is the power of impromptu speaking.

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That is the power of knowing your stories.

402
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:54,930
That's also the power of understanding our

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00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:58,450
framework of how to give a great talk and our

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00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:00,010
ideal story ingredients,

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00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,130
both of which you'll learn in that workshop

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00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:04,330
we have coming up. So that's the first thing.

407
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,170
Practice sharing your stories and your key

408
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,530
points as often as you can in different

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00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:12,350
venues. The second thing is do not memorize.

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00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,670
Instead, engage with your audience.

411
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,070
Truly connect with them.

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Look around. See who's in that room.

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Think about what would help them that you can

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00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:24,110
share. This is especially true for those

415
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:26,110
impromptu speaking moments where you're

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00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:28,230
leading an organization and you have just a

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00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:30,390
couple of minutes and you need to kind of

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00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,430
rally the troops, or you're leading a team,

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00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:33,830
you need to rally the troops.

420
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,150
Really look at them, understand?

421
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,790
What is it? What is their goal?

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00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,950
What do they need and what can you share with

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00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:43,750
them in that moment that's going to help them

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00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:46,150
and help you and help whatever the cause is

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00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:47,710
or whatever the common goal is,

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00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:49,270
help you all to achieve that.

427
00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,910
You can't memorize that in advance.

428
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,110
You really have to engage and connect.

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00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,310
Now, if you're in a situation where you need

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00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,470
to remember to think certain people or

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00:15:57,470 --> 00:16:00,110
sponsors, you can have an index card where

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00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,950
you've just jotted down those names.

433
00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:03,910
And so that you have that that index card,

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00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:05,670
you can use both front and back if you need

435
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:07,910
to, to have that much information on it.

436
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:09,420
But that way you can just stick it in your

437
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,500
pocket when you're done with using the index

438
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,100
card, or you can set it aside.

439
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:15,820
I don't recommend that you put your notes on

440
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:18,220
your phone. I see a lot of speakers do this

441
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:19,700
as they have their phone and they put notes

442
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,860
on there, so they're kind of scrolling as

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00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,860
they're reading their notes. The problem with

444
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:26,100
that is that having the phone out really does

445
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,940
disconnect you from your audience.

446
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,980
Also, you don't know if all of a sudden

447
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:32,060
you're going to get a phone call or a text

448
00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,940
notification or something on your phone while

449
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:35,460
you're scrolling that's going to interrupt

450
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:37,220
you. You don't know. All of a sudden someone

451
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:39,700
you know needs to say something or ask a

452
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:41,980
question. Then your phone locks,

453
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,620
and then you have to unlock it before you can

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00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:44,940
continue. And then you have to figure out

455
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:46,260
where am I going to put the phone when I'm

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00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,620
done with it. So you leave it in your hand.

457
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,060
So it's just not a good idea. Just have an

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00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:51,460
index card instead and really engage with the

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00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:52,980
audience. Ask them some questions.

460
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,180
Show of hands. Questions out loud. Questions.

461
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,700
Make it about all.

462
00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:58,060
Make it about everyone.

463
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,940
Not just don't just put the pressure on you

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00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,140
as the as the speaker.

465
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:03,420
Third thing to do to get better at impromptu

466
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,620
speaking and feel more confident is to take

467
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:06,900
an improv class.

468
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,900
Now, I know you've heard us talk about this a

469
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:11,000
lot, especially over the past year,

470
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,360
but it really is so good to get you out of

471
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,680
your head and into your body,

472
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,160
and to recognize that you can be silly.

473
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,560
You can be on a stage in front of people and

474
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,880
not have all the answers.

475
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,560
You can be on a stage in front of a bunch of

476
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,480
people and not literally not know what's

477
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,360
coming next, or what the person's going to

478
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,800
say next, and you're going to be okay.

479
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,720
That was the biggest lesson that I got from

480
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,640
improv is that you're going to be okay.

481
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,680
So again, practice sharing your stories and

482
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,000
your key points often.

483
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,160
Don't memorize.

484
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,280
Instead, engage and connect and take that

485
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,880
improv class to get out of your head and into

486
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,440
your body. Don't forget to take our free quiz

487
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,960
to discover your speaker archetype.

488
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,120
So many women who have taken it have emailed

489
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:51,160
me and told me how much it resonated with

490
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,840
them and how much it helped them,

491
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,480
especially the recommendations that we

492
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,120
provide, including specific podcast episodes

493
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,640
to listen to. Take the quiz at Speaking Your

494
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,640
Brand quiz.

495
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,680
Until next time, thanks for listening.