Carol Cox: How comfortable are you thinking and speaking
on your feet? That's what we're talking about
in today's episode of the Speaking Your Brand
podcast. More and more women are making an
impact by starting businesses,
running for office and speaking up for what
matters. With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur,
and speaker, I interview and coach purpose
driven women to shape their brands,
grow their companies, and become recognized
as influencers in their field.
This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
communicate your message to your audience.
Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your
Brand podcast. I'm your host,
Carol Cox. Are you the type of speaker who
loves to have your entire presentation
scripted out?
You have it pretty much word for word in a
document, and then you have your slides.
And then in the notes section underneath the
slides, you have all of your notes for each
slide. Well, in this episode I'm going to
challenge you to think differently about your
speaking and your presentations.
I really want you to embrace and prompt you
speaking. Now, this doesn't mean that you're
not going to prepare for your presentations.
You are. But I want you to get more practice
being able to think and speak on your feet.
Because have you ever had one of these
situations happen to you?
Number one, you're in a meeting or you're in
a group and you're asked to share something
on the spot. Maybe they're going around the
room and they want everyone to answer a
question, and you're the first person that
they select. And so what usually happens is
that you get really nervous.
You feel at a loss for words,
and maybe you mumble something, but you don't
feel like it was a great answer.
Or number two, you're at a networking event
where you need to concisely share with the
other people there who you are,
what you do, and how you help people.
But after you introduce yourself,
you realize that you left out the most
important part, or it felt just like a
jumble. Or number three,
you're leading a meeting where you need to
motivate your team, but you didn't have an
opportunity to prepare your message ahead of
time. And so afterwards,
you feel like you weren't as clear or you
didn't come across as confident as you wanted
to be. So regardless of how prepared you feel
for the presentations that you give,
where you have your outline on your slides,
you still want to be as equally prepared for
those situations that I just described.
And yes, I realize it's an oxymoron to feel
like you're prepared for impromptu speaking,
but you absolutely can be.
And as a leader and as a speaker,
you really need to hone both your prepared
and your impromptu speaking skills.
So in this episode, I'm going to share with
you why impromptu speaking is hard.
Especially hard for us high achieving women.
Why impromptu speaking matters so much to
your development as a speaker and as a
leader. Specific things you can do to get
better at impromptu speaking.
And I'm going to share some of my own
impromptu speaking wins and fails.
If you're new to the podcast,
welcome here at Speaking Your Brand.
We work with women entrepreneurs and
professionals to clarify their brand message
and story, create their signature talks,
and develop their thought leadership
platforms. Our mission is to get more women
in positions of influence and power,
because we know that change comes through
women's stories, voices,
visibility, and leadership.
One of the things that will help you with
impromptu speaking is knowing what kind of
speaker you are.
That's why I invite you to take our free
speaker Archetype quiz.
It just takes a few minutes.
It's ten multiple choice questions and you're
going to have a lot of fun taking it.
You'll get your results right away so you
know which kind of speaker you are.
So you can leverage your strengths and then
add to them to make you even more impactful.
Take the free quiz at Speaking Your Brand.
Again, that's speaking your brand. Now let's
get on with the show.
What exactly does impromptu mean?
I looked it up on dictionary.com and here's
the definition. Made or done without previous
preparation, and the example that
Dictionary.com gave is an impromptu address
to the unexpected crowds.
Another definition is something that suddenly
or hastily prepared or made,
like an impromptu dinner.
And the third definition is improvised,
having the character of an improvisation.
And we're going to come back to improv in
just a little bit, but made or done without
previous preparation.
And I think that's what scares us the most.
Why is impromptu speaking so hard?
Why do we fear it so much,
and why do we feel like we're not good at
thinking and speaking on our feet?
I believe it's because for those of us who
are high achieving women,
we're so used to being good at the things
that we do. And we generally we do the things
that we're already good at.
We did well in school,
we've done well in our professional careers
and in our businesses,
and a lot of that has to do with preparation.
We've studied for the exams.
We made sure we did our homework on time and
we were validated and we were encouraged for
doing so. So that's why now when we put
together our presentations and our talks and
our keynotes, we want to make sure that our
outline is filled out,
that we have all of the notes, maybe even an
entire script for it.
All of our slides are done as well,
because we're afraid we're not going to know
what to say if we don't have everything
scripted out, if we don't have all of our
notes and slides.
We don't want to mess up that perfectionism
streak, I know runs really strong and a lot
of us, and we want to say the exact right
thing. This is why when we work with our
clients and our thought leader Academy, and
we've done their VIP to create their
signature talk, and then their homework is to
take what we've written on the post-it notes
and then transcribe it into an outline.
And some of them want to write out their
entire talk. And we're talking,
you know, 35, 45 minute talk,
an entire talk.
They want to write it all out word for word,
and we tell them that that number one,
that's going to be really hard because you're
not going to want to memorize a talk that
that's long. Number two,
it's going to take you out of the present
moment. If you're trying to remember what you
wrote on your for your talk,
instead of just engaging with the audience.
And number three, you're not going to come
across as natural and authentic when you're
actually delivering the presentation to your
audience. But I know, especially for those
who are writers and yes,
I see you. I know who you are,
that you want to write everything out, and
the reason you want to write everything out,
I believe, is because you know that if you
can put pen to paper, typewriter to the
Google doc, that you're going to come up with
the exact right words,
the exact right thing to say to your
audience. And I'm here to tell you that there
are no magic words to say to your audience.
Instead, it's about understanding where your
audience is and having empathy for them,
validating where they're at.
It's not about having all the right answers
or having those magic words or the perfect
thing to say. It's about asking the big
questions and helping your audience to
understand what are the big questions?
What are the conversations that need to be
had? It's about you as the speaker and you as
the leader, contributing to the conversation
that's going on in the present moment.
If everything that you do is always scripted
and always prepared in advance,
what if something has happened that day or
the day before? You need to address it in
your presentation, in your talk for that
audience, how are you going to have the
agility, the skill set to do that?
It's also about recognizing the energy and
the mood of your audience and adjusting as
necessary. If your audience is really high
energy in the moment, you want to make sure
that you keep that energy up.
In contrast, if your audience is really
reflective, something's going on. Or maybe
they have low energy because they just got
back from lunch or a really hard session,
you want to make sure that you're recognizing
that and addressing it and then lifting their
energy, if that's the appropriate thing to
do. I talk more about this in episode 382
from a couple of months ago called Three
Signs You're Stuck in the Expert Trap,
so I highly recommend that episode as well.
This is why getting better at impromptu
speaking matters to you both as a speaker and
as a leader, because you're really there to
lead your audience, to guide your audience to
understanding where they're at and then where
they want to go. I was on the debate team
when I was in high school, and I did Model
United Nations in college,
and I've been on live TV so many times that
I've lost count.
So I had to get used very,
very quickly to thinking and speaking on my
feet. And I learned very quickly that there
are no magic words, and there is no way that
I would be able to have a prepared script
when my when I go on live TV,
unlike the anchors, I don't get a
teleprompter with a script that's been
written out in front of me.
But there was a time when I was on live TV
when I was asked a question,
and for the first time in all of the segments
I had been on, I stopped My literally,
my mouth would not open and I didn't have an
answer for the first time.
And I think I sat there for about 10s.
Now, luckily, we were recording a segment
that was going to air the next morning,
so this wasn't actually live.
Most of the time that I was on TV,
it was actually being broadcast live in real
time, but this one wasn't.
And the reason that I was stumped for 10s is
that was the night of the 2016 election,
and we all know how that went.
It was about 11:30 p.m.
that night, and it was clear that Hillary
Clinton was not going to become the first
woman president, as I and so many other women
in this country had wanted to happen.
And I was in a state of shock.
A lot of the other people in the newsroom,
I could tell, were in a state of shock.
And so we were again filming a segment that
was going to air the next morning, kind of
just talking about what had happened and what
was going to be coming next.
So the reporter who I'd worked with the whole
year, you know, we were sitting in the studio
getting ready to record this segment. And so
we start and he asked me a.
I don't remember what the question is. He
asked me the question and I just sat there.
And like I said, like my I just didn't have
any words. I was at a loss for words because
of. That shock to the system.
But very quickly I recovered and I just went
on to to say my piece for this segment,
but I'm sharing this story to let you know
that all of us have those moments at some
time. And the more times you speak,
the more times you go on TV,
the more interviews you do.
There probably will come a time when you're
at a loss for words or you are stumped by
something. And so to me,
it matters less about finding the magic
words, and that in that situation then how
you respond to yourself,
how do you treat yourself?
What kind of grace and compassion do you give
to yourself in those moments?
Or if you see someone else who's in that
situation, how much grace and compassion do
you give to them? So here's some specific
things you can do to get better at impromptu
speaking, and to feel more confident thinking
and speaking on your feet.
The first thing is to practice,
practice, practice, practice sharing your key
stories and your key points.
Often, being a guest on podcasts doing
podcast interviews is a great way to do this,
as is hosting your own podcast.
I've been doing this podcast for over seven
years. This is episode 390,
so I definitely have gotten more comfortable
sharing my stories and my key points.
Same thing with doing podcast interviews.
And so have your your key stories from your
story bank and have your framework and your
key points. You can have some notes for you,
but then go do those podcast interviews and
just start sharing the same key stories and
the same key points over and over again.
As I always remind our clients,
you know your own stories,
you know your own content,
you know your own framework.
This is why we recommend for your framework
that you have an acronym or an alliteration
or a visual shape. It helps you remember it
as much as it helps your audience to remember
it. But you know your stories.
You know your material.
If I were to come to you and ask you to share
a particular story, you could do it.
Just like you were having lunch with a friend
and sharing that story.
So as you're going to your more prepared
speaking engagements, your presentations try
to rely less and less on having a full
outline with a whole bunch of notes.
Try to rely less and less on the notes
section of your slides.
That bottom section I actually I don't use it
at all. You really don't need it.
Use the slides as your visual guide,
your own visual guide, or the audience visual
guide as well, and rely less and less on your
on the text, on the content of your slides.
You really shouldn't have a lot of text on
your slides to begin with.
Now here's an example of the power of having
practiced sharing your stories and your key
points often.
Just this past February,
we held our three day in-person client
retreat where we brought together 12 women
for three days, where we practiced for the
first two days, and the third day they filmed
the speaking segments that they had practice
so that they would have it for their speaker
real. Well, in the morning of that third day,
Diane and I also were going to film a few of
our own speaking segments. So these speaking
segments are about five minutes long.
Well, leading up to the retreat, I kind of
had an idea of what segments I wanted to
film. I wanted to film one with props,
I wanted to film one with some audience
engagement and so on.
But that morning of that third day,
I was taking a shower to get ready,
and all of a sudden this story popped into my
mind. The story of that not great Ted talk
that I gave back in October of 2016,
and I've talked about it here on the podcast,
most recently back at the beginning of March
for Women's History Month.
So as I was taking the shower that morning,
kind of that I was thinking about that
speaking engagement, and all of a sudden I
realized the story I had been telling myself
about that speaking fail was actually not
quite right. What was it was right.
But there was much more to the story.
So I started kind of thinking about this in
my mind, and then I started framing how I was
going to deliver the speaking segment.
So how was I going to open?
What parts of the story was I going to share,
and then how was I going to end it?
So I did all this and you know,
the five minutes that I was in the shower. So
we get to that day three,
you know, we were getting everything ready.
The film crew was there and all that. And
then Diane and I are ready to film our
segment. So we filmed some segments together,
and then I was like, okay, I'm just going to
go ahead and go for this. I haven't practiced
it at all. I had zero notes.
Nothing had written out whatsoever,
just what I had thought of that morning. So I
get up there and I deliver the whole thing
with no pausing, no redos whatsoever.
Five minutes now, looking back at it,
there are some things that I would change
about it, but very minor.
No one else would notice it.
But that is the power of impromptu speaking.
That is the power of knowing your stories.
That's also the power of understanding our
framework of how to give a great talk and our
ideal story ingredients,
both of which you'll learn in that workshop
we have coming up. So that's the first thing.
Practice sharing your stories and your key
points as often as you can in different
venues. The second thing is do not memorize.
Instead, engage with your audience.
Truly connect with them.
Look around. See who's in that room.
Think about what would help them that you can
share. This is especially true for those
impromptu speaking moments where you're
leading an organization and you have just a
couple of minutes and you need to kind of
rally the troops, or you're leading a team,
you need to rally the troops.
Really look at them, understand?
What is it? What is their goal?
What do they need and what can you share with
them in that moment that's going to help them
and help you and help whatever the cause is
or whatever the common goal is,
help you all to achieve that.
You can't memorize that in advance.
You really have to engage and connect.
Now, if you're in a situation where you need
to remember to think certain people or
sponsors, you can have an index card where
you've just jotted down those names.
And so that you have that that index card,
you can use both front and back if you need
to, to have that much information on it.
But that way you can just stick it in your
pocket when you're done with using the index
card, or you can set it aside.
I don't recommend that you put your notes on
your phone. I see a lot of speakers do this
as they have their phone and they put notes
on there, so they're kind of scrolling as
they're reading their notes. The problem with
that is that having the phone out really does
disconnect you from your audience.
Also, you don't know if all of a sudden
you're going to get a phone call or a text
notification or something on your phone while
you're scrolling that's going to interrupt
you. You don't know. All of a sudden someone
you know needs to say something or ask a
question. Then your phone locks,
and then you have to unlock it before you can
continue. And then you have to figure out
where am I going to put the phone when I'm
done with it. So you leave it in your hand.
So it's just not a good idea. Just have an
index card instead and really engage with the
audience. Ask them some questions.
Show of hands. Questions out loud. Questions.
Make it about all.
Make it about everyone.
Not just don't just put the pressure on you
as the as the speaker.
Third thing to do to get better at impromptu
speaking and feel more confident is to take
an improv class.
Now, I know you've heard us talk about this a
lot, especially over the past year,
but it really is so good to get you out of
your head and into your body,
and to recognize that you can be silly.
You can be on a stage in front of people and
not have all the answers.
You can be on a stage in front of a bunch of
people and not literally not know what's
coming next, or what the person's going to
say next, and you're going to be okay.
That was the biggest lesson that I got from
improv is that you're going to be okay.
So again, practice sharing your stories and
your key points often.
Don't memorize.
Instead, engage and connect and take that
improv class to get out of your head and into
your body. Don't forget to take our free quiz
to discover your speaker archetype.
So many women who have taken it have emailed
me and told me how much it resonated with
them and how much it helped them,
especially the recommendations that we
provide, including specific podcast episodes
to listen to. Take the quiz at Speaking Your
Brand quiz.
Until next time, thanks for listening.