I had a completely different episode planned for today. I threw it out about an hour before I recorded this one.
Last night a friend stopped me. I'd told him I still had to record my podcast, and he asked, "You're still doing that tonight?" After he left I realized my mind wasn't in a good place and I needed to wait. So this is the episode that came out the next morning instead, and it's the most honest one I've made.
It's about how alone leadership can feel. I say early on that I've never felt more alone than I do right now and I've also never felt more supported, and I mean both of those.
There are three stories in here. My basketball coach, who told me when the going gets tough, the tough get going, back when I thought he was talking about basketball. My senior-year Spanish teacher, who told me I would never learn to speak Spanish in my life. And Chile, four or five months in, sitting in a room where the person next to me leaned over and asked whether I understood what I'd just said.
I get emotional telling that third one. There's a long pause. I left it in, because pretending it didn't happen would make this episode a lie.
Then two things from this week. A line my wife showed me: some people plot your downfall and end up paving your breakthrough. And a scene from a movie I watched with my daughter, where one character admits she doesn't want to be alone anymore and the other says, "Well, you have me."
That's the whole thing. Leadership is a lot of aloneness, and it was never supposed to be. So the next time you sit across from somebody on your team, ask yourself whether they feel alone — because it changes their work and it changes who they are.
And if you're the one who feels alone right now, and you don't have anybody: I'd like to be that person for you.
One correction: at
7:23 I say the wrong year. I left for Chile in August of 2007.
What is Beyond Just Leadership?
🎙️ I love people. That's why I do this.
Beyond Just Leadership is a show about leading the person in front of you a little better. Not the title. Not the org chart. The human. I'm Steven Allphin, and each week I share the real stories behind how the best leaders build trust, help people find their why, and bring out the best in the ones they're responsible for.
Whether you're a CEO, a first-time manager, a parent, a teacher, or someone who just wants to make a difference where they are, you'll get honest lessons from life, family, and work — the kind that stick.
The title changes; the person doesn't. Lead deeper, lead people, lead well. And remember: it starts from within.