So I've just had a complete technical breakdown. I'm not really sure quite what happened but I had recorded a really lovely episode for us, very reflective, lots of interconnecting woven thoughts, know, of those episodes and when I went back to listen to it, it sounded like it was recorded by AI. It was really weird and it has maximized my technological ability to fix it. So I'm having to start again which might mean that this is a better episode or significantly worse than the one you were going to get. Let's see.

Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast, the space for deepening self awareness with profound self compassion. I'm Henny. I write, coach and speak about how exploring our inner world can transform how we experience our outer world, all founded on a bedrock of self love. Settle in and listen and see where the episode takes you. So actually I feel a bit what am I going to talk about and the reason why I need to record it now is because rather than you know do it on Saturday morning and then send it live like I've been doing with the last few episodes I am heading out on Friday to go on a Buddhist retreat and if you'd heard the episode I've had to delete then you'd know all the wonderful thoughts and reflections I've been having about it, but just to sort of put those into some pissy little summary, It's a five day Buddhist retreat, which is at the Being Peace Centre, which is part of Plum Village, the retreat space that Thich Nhat Hanh founded in France And I've been really kind of actively engaged in how the retreat center has been set up and is now up and running, like how they've sort of got the funding and it's now up and running and I am so looking forward to going to it and it's all about a connection with the land.

So, there's going to be really interesting by interesting I mean you know it might also be challenging and you know complicated stuff might come up and, I have no idea how it will be and I'm really open to that. So that's why I'm recording this here and oh gosh, I really wish I was able to share with you the reflections that I've been having. Had some lovely thoughts about the gratitude quest and how gorgeous that's been and oh and then I was talking about glimmers and the polyvagal theory of like how we use glimmers to help us re regulate our nervous system and to be really honest I'm not sure I've got it in me to repeat it all so what should we do? Do you know what? In these moments quite often what I do is I turn to a old journal, I'm now picking out which one is this book eight no idea what when when this was written but and I'm gonna open it up at random and let's see what it lands on.

Okay, I'm just gonna start reading. Let's see. Let's see if this is of any value at all. I'm not sure what to write today. That feels really that feels resonant, doesn't it?

Anyway, okay. We'll start again. I'm not sure what to write today. I feel perhaps my energy is focused on staying grounded and present, so I am clear and calm and kind throughout the day. It's a beautiful mantra and it has served me well.

Thank you for helping me find those words in the time that I needed them most. It is so interesting how when we are in that heightened triggered state, it is the part of us that we most find uncomfortable who comes into play. Have we perhaps been suppressing them and then open the gates Or maybe it is the part that our Higher Self has superseded, but neither of those feel right. It feels like it is the part of us that has been asking for attention and has not yet received it. The part that is hurt and unsure and in the moment of the trigger comes to life.

No, that's wrong. Becomes so activated that she can no longer be contained. And so she explodes with the energy that triggers her into action to find her, to calm her, to work with her, to help her be herself in her full self, reunited with the whole of me, no longer needing to hide away in fear of being hurt again. Bless her. Bless that part of me.

The part that feels she can only survive by attacking first or running away or hiding. Oh, I am sending her so much love. I hold her in love. I would like to know her better, to understand what it is that hurts and help her release the tension that keeps her so tightly wound. Beautiful part that has been hurt and is now ready to heal.

There is a gentleness here, a presence, a willingness to make that deep attention fully available. I am asking you to help me find the way through. I am asking you to guide me and I am sensing that the work is already begun, that my task here is to allow it, to allow the healing process and simply to hold my whole self in love and to reflect that love, to shine that love to others so they too may feel its warmth and in turn feel that inner glow to heal those parts that are hurt or lost or lonely. Oh this work it is so beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here.

Thank you for being me. Thank you for it all. Well, gosh, gosh, where was I when I wrote that? What time of my life? Sometime in the last few years, that's for sure.

Before we moved here, it's one of the books from our old house. And maybe, maybe actually that, I mean, it's interesting even just reading that, I feel so much more grounded after the, you know, the sort of techy, up in my headness of trying to see if I could rescue that previous episode that I'd recorded, which was certainly had no more depth than that piece of writing had. And so, I think today is going to be really short. I might leave it just there. This idea that we can connect in with the parts of us that have been asking to be seen.

I mean that really is the deep work, that really is this work that I offer one to one, in group, and solo retreat, you know, that's all the work and I'm actually going to, I'm going to leave a couple of links in the show notes for you. One is if you want to explore coming here on Solar Retreat. We've had this year is definitely feels like the year for coming here. We've already welcomed several guests this year and have many more booked in and I am seeing more and more the astonishing value of being here and if that is calling you or you haven't yet taken a look at the solo retreat that we offer here, then I really invite you to do that. Even just to sort of sink into the idea of how it might be to spend some time in your own company being deeply cared for, you know.

It's a really wonderful gift to ourselves. And then the other thing I'm going to put the link to is the next small group course, which is all about awakening our hopes and dreams, and it begins on the Thursday March 26. And the thing is with this, small group course, it runs over five weeks and we explore this idea of hopes and dreams from lots of different directions because for so many of us, myself included, it can feel hard at certain times in our life to even know what our hopes and dreams might be or we might have a sense that we used to know and we've lost sight of them or that they've shifted and we're not quite sure what they're turning into And so this course is really an opportunity to explore all of that from the most curious, compassionate, kind and considered sort of range of perspectives and also there's something so powerful about doing this kind of reflection in group because when we hear other people sharing their reflections sometimes it can help us articulate what's going on within us. Also just to say there is no pressure on anybody to share in these courses either.

If what is best for you is just to listen quietly then we honor and respect that. I'm really really careful about how these spaces are held. I've had enough experiences of being in groups where I've not felt fully cared for or not felt like I've been fully seen in some way and so I'm very careful to try and ensure as far as I possibly can that the space feels really, really, well safe enough for our nervous system so that we're able to be present and get as much out of it as we can. And, you know, and also this isn't a sort of hard edged fixed goal type experience. It's It's five weeks, it's a small group, it's about gentle curiosity and something amazing happens when we work in this way and I've definitely you know each time I run one of these courses something shifts for me and I know the material so you know even kind of with that like deep familiarity with what we're going to cover still stuff shifts for me and a big part of that I think is the power of being in the group and also the way in which we approach the work.

You know, we look at it from lots of different angles and that can help us reveal things that we might not have realised we couldn't see. So if that calls to you, there are a few spaces remaining on this next one, awaken your hopes and dreams and it would be utterly gorgeous to see you there. And lastly, just to say this is the end of this season and so we'll be quiet for a few weeks and then I will return with season twenty one. I think it will be and I'm already looking forward to that but in the meantime we'll have a little bit of stillness, a little bit of quiet although I will be sharing some other quite wonderful things that are happening soon so if you're not already a member of the mailing list you might want to sign up to that and you can just again I'll leave a link in the show notes or you can email me hennyhennyflinn dot co dot uk and I can add you into it. All right my darlings I am going to go and I really hope the audio is good for this one and I don't sound like some random AI recording.

Alright, sending so much love and I'll speak to you soon. Alright, and sending a hug and a wave.