Maco Jeleniewski: Hey there. You're listening to your host produced in collaboration with Impact 89 fm. Your host is an episodic audio drama surrounding a fictional podcast. Content warnings for this series include mentions of vomit, alcohol, sounds of gagging, implications of self harm, graphic audio of injury, and sounds of gore. Proceed with caution and enjoy this episode of your
Annalise Becker: host. Hi. Welcome back to the Tell Me a Story podcast. We're here to talk to you for as long as you'll keep the podcast on. Stay a while.
You can find us on social media as at tell me story pod. Come say hi, we'll probably respond to you. I'm your host, Annalise Becker, and I'm joined by
Charlie Shepard: Charlie Shepherd.
Sawyer Dalton: Sawyer Dalton.
Annalise Becker: Glad to be here today. It's in the upper sixties, looks beautiful outside, not much wind, good walking temperature.
Sawyer Dalton: This isn't the weather channel.
Annalise Becker: I mean, maybe we do an episode outside one of these days. We'd have to break down the equipment a bit and be pretty minimal, but that'd be fun. Right?
Sawyer Dalton: Yeah. But it'd be full of background noise. You'd either have to edit that out or advertise it as a special episode with, like, squirrel ambiance.
Annalise Becker: Okay. Okay. I just want an excuse to get out of this stuffy old apartment. So humid here that it fogs up my glasses.
Sawyer Dalton: I won't stop you from messing with the thermostat.
Charlie Shepard: Is today's topic nature? The great outdoors?
Annalise Becker: Nah. We're talking about smells today. We better move on then. I was thinking that we could talk about a pretty viral phenomenon that I've seen across social media, how certain smells are linked to nostalgia. Like, whenever you smell chlorine, you might be taken back to childhood vacations, or people have said that the smell of mowed lawns make them feel nostalgic.
Do you guys have anything that comes to mind?
Charlie Shepard: Come back to me.
Sawyer Dalton: I like what you said about pool smells. I haven't been to a water park in, god, years. But whenever I go to a hotel with a pool, I feel like I'm a kid again.
Annalise Becker: Mhmm.
Sawyer Dalton: Me and my sister, Abby, used to go to a local water park near our house. I remember how long the lines were on Memorial Day weekend. They almost stretched into the parking lot. She and I would wait in line for so long. We'd get sunburnt.
Annalise Becker: I feel like Charlie and I are your kids, so it's kind of funny to see you go down memory lane. It's like you're sitting on a rocking chair, sipping iced tea and recounting the glory days.
Sawyer Dalton: Yeah, yeah. I'll take you guys on vacation someday. And in true parent fashion, I won't enjoy a second of it and stay at the swim up bar the whole time.
Charlie Shepard: And you would sneak me drinks?
Sawyer Dalton: Now, what kind of parent would I be if I didn't? Abby and I were attached at the hip when we were kids. If we couldn't go somewhere together, she'd pitch a fit. One time we waited in line for a water slide for, say, 45 minutes. When we got to the top of the slide, we found out she was too short to ride.
And the worker was being super strict that day. She was sent back down the stairs, and I went down the slide because, you know, I waited 45 minutes. I was a 10 year old boy with no respect. Once I got down the slide, Abby was waiting for me at the bottom just to flip me off and ignore me for the rest of the day. She didn't say a word to me until we got home just because we got separated on one ride.
Annalise Becker: She must care a lot about you.
Charlie Shepard: Yeah. I've thought of something now.
Annalise Becker: Yeah?
Charlie Shepard: Artificial strawberries. Or, that's the closest thing I can compare it to. I've never told anyone this, but I used to have a strawberry shortcake doll with scented hair. She was supposed to smell like strawberries, but, definitely didn't. It was the super specific scent that I guess it smelled enough like strawberries that it didn't matter to me.
I can imagine the smell right now, but the Hoos dolls got discontinued. My dad bought me that doll, and I lost it, like, 8 years ago. I was so obsessed with her. It's weird. Sometimes, I think about buying a new one off of eBay just to know what that smell was supposed to be so I could bring myself back to being a kid.
That's really cheesy, though.
Annalise Becker: I don't think so. Here, I'll talk about something. I love the smell of fall. Walking outside and smelling the rain in the air is so good. It's magical.
The distinct smell of fall paired with with the orange leaves. When I'd walk outside and feel a breeze, I'd know that Halloween was on its way. Halloween's a time when I get to bug people to watch scary movies with me, and they say yes. Halloween's a time when people are excited to hear about how John Carpenter wrote Halloween in 2 weeks with his girlfriend. Halloween's the time no one's looking at my weird smiles because they're too focused on funny costumes and lawn skeletons.
That smell always brings me back to that mindset. I should make some pumpkin pie, some natural air freshener.
Sawyer Dalton: Yeah. That'd be nice.
Charlie Shepard: Do you guys smell that?
Annalise Becker: Ugh, goddamn it. Did I pop a blood vessel or something? Jesus Christ. Just keeps coming. I've been holding my nose shut for, like, 10 minutes.
It just won't stop, and it's pissing me off. Whatever. Ellie Specker. Tuesday, September 3rd. House log.
Nosebleed. I look like I've been crying. God, I hope the blood will come off the floor. I really don't wanna have to ask Sawyer to do that. Should I?
I had another headache this morning, and I'm burning up. Oh, I think it's finally letting up. I'll give it a second. Alright. Updates.
I feel bad. I've been feeling bad for a few weeks now, and it feels like my muscles are gonna snap when I try to bend my back at all. My body feels like it's locking up, and I don't know if that's normal or a mix of things. I don't think I've ever had a flare up this bad. I've been listening back to the tapes.
Half of the time, it's just 30 minutes of silence broken up by occasional footsteps, and the other half of the time, it's it's a completely normal interaction. I haven't found anything. I have zero evidence about this shit. I know something is wrong, and I know the doctors won't believe me. I fought for 5 damn years to get treatment for my pain.
Clearly, clearly, I don't have that time now. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't do it again.
I need to find something tangible. I need to do something to make them believe me. What? Hello?
Sawyer Dalton: Hey. Did something fall? Doing okay in there?
Annalise Becker: Yes. I'm I'm fine. Go away. I'm Anna. What part of go away don't you understand?
Sawyer Dalton: Oh my god. There's are you hurt?
Annalise Becker: There's so much blood. Don't touch me. It's just it's a nosebleed. Stop looking at me like that, asshole. I didn't Sawyer, I didn't.
Sawyer Dalton: Hi, Anna. Sit down. Let's sit down. There's just so much.
Annalise Becker: Yeah. Well, it was a bad nosebleed.
Sawyer Dalton: You look like a ghost, Anna.
Annalise Becker: Thanks.
Sawyer Dalton: I've been seeing bloody tissues in the trash. I know you're not having that many nosebleeds a day.
Annalise Becker: You go through the trash?
Sawyer Dalton: I hear a lot of coughing coming from your office. You're not okay.
Charlie Shepard: Who are you to say that?
Annalise Becker: Don't you think I know my own body?
Sawyer Dalton: Clearly, you don't. If you've let it get this bad, I told you a month ago to get help, and you're still not listening to me. I I can't force you to go to the doctor since you're so adamant about that. You're letting yourself wither away, and I can't do anything about it. I can't stand around watching you kill yourself like this.
Do you even know how Charlie and I feel watching you give up on yourself? Do you consider our feelings for a second?
Annalise Becker: Excuse me? You really think you I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Slayer, I'm so sorry.
Charlie Shepard: No. I mean, you've got a lot of color in your face. And if you're talking about your hair, your hair looks fine.
Annalise Becker: No. No. I was just wondering if I've been, I don't know, making you upset?
Charlie Shepard: Why would I be upset?
Annalise Becker: I thought that I might be bringing the vibe down because I'm still getting over my sickness and I'm tired all the time.
Charlie Shepard: I haven't really thought about it that way. You're resting up and doing what you need to do to get better.
Annalise Becker: Well, sure, but you haven't been concerned for me at all?
Charlie Shepard: We've known each other for 4 years, and I know that you know your limits. I trust that if you were really sick, you'd take care of it.
Annalise Becker: Oh, yeah. I guess so.
Charlie Shepard: I said it the other day, but it's been nice seeing you take back some control of your life. What? You used to stay in your room all day playing video games, and it was like the podcast was the only thing keeping you productive. Now, you're a lot more active and around the apartment, and we get to hang out so much more.
Annalise Becker: Oh, I mean, sure. I guess I changed from being a total shut in.
Charlie Shepard: I wouldn't say it like that. I think you come off, mentally healthy. It's a lot nicer to be around you. I love getting to sit down with you and just having long conversations. You listen really well.
Thanks. Chin up, Anna. You've got to leave a south stop behind. That's so last year. I love you, and you're doing great.
You're a joy to be around. Right.
Annalise Becker: Smiling. I really appreciate it, Charlie. That's all I needed to talk about.
Charlie Shepard: Okay. Let me know if you need anything else. Alright?
Annalise Becker: I will. Maybe I am getting better.
Charlie Shepard: That should be a good thing.
Annalise Becker: Why would I want to stay unhealthy? I, I look fine. Why don't I feel fine? Should I be feeling fine? I mean, if Charlie's happy, I should be too.
Maybe this is how much effort goes into being functioning, into being good, being being tolerable. I just want her to feel happy, and and this is probably the happiest I've seen her in a while. So she's been having so much trouble with her girlfriend. She doesn't need more trouble from me. I want to be better.
I can be better. Change is normal. Everyone goes through changes. This isn't that much different. This is good.
This is good.
Maco Jeleniewski: You've just listened to an episode of your host made in collaboration with impact 89 f m. This episode of your host was written by Madeline Jeleniewski and edited by Laura King. Directed and produced by Madeline Jeleniewski. Casted in collaboration with Laura King. Audio engineered by Madeline Jeleniewski with assistance from Tyler Butt.
Music written by Cassandra Cohen. Featuring the vocal performances of Alex Melconian as Annalise Becker, It's Not Mika as Charlie Shepherd, and Drake O'Chella as Sawyer Dalton. Additional voices provided by Michelle Long and Simon Zukert. Thanks for listening.