well hello All You Beautiful
[Music]
People you know what time it
is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and
everyone in
between gather around get you something
real nice to sip on and comfy to slip
on cuz it's time for smut Club here's
your hosts Chelsey and
[Applause]
Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut
club I'm Hannah and I am Chelsea and
this is the show where we um sometimes
daydrink sometimes I just drink hot tea
um because hydration is important yep
and we review romance novels that we
read um some leave more to be desired
than others um but you know each of them
are their own unique journey and we
respect that yep and we are going to
take you on that Journey with us thanks
for joining us on that Journey guys okay
Hannah what book are we doing today we
are doing neon Gods by Katie Roberts
Katie with two e right fanc two e
yes so um I read this book a while ago
and I remember I liked it when I read it
and then on the reread I was like um
questions so I'm really interested to
see like well okay I feel like a long
time ago I saw a Tik Tok where someone
had been like I'm breaking
down um like sex amount of sex in the
book per author right um and like Katie
Roberts was like by and far above like
had the most sex mhm per book um which I
do think the the downfall of that can
sometimes be we do need plot to to carry
that and I actually haven't read young
Gods I've read um like the villain I've
read a few the villain we did Desperate
Measures and the next one after that I'd
read as well but I haven't read this one
actually I think this might be the only
Katie Roberts I've read oh okay um but
so feel like I just hear everyone talk
about her all the time yeah this one
didn't feel as like sex heavy as other
that I've read but it still was
like the premise is awesome and like
there's some really cool potential so
it's Hades and pany we have a Hades and
panie ret I love a good Greek mythology
so but that's part of the issue is like
it's we'll just get into it okay so my
notes the way that I did it I put
Olympus breakdown at the top because in
the first chapter our pany is at a party
and she's thinking about the politics
and the history of Olympus so rather
than like try to put the breakdown in
between the couple of plot points in the
first chapter I just broke it out so we
can do that ahead of time bless you for
your ministry well it was just so
confusing when I was trying to write it
I was like so our Olympus breakdown is
ruled by a group that they call the
13 so the 13 are essentially all the uh
Gods right um of Greek mythology however
they are not gods they are human
people okay who have these roles right I
see where we've shifted right so there
are um there is no Hades at this point
um so like the belief in Olympus it it's
split between upper City and lower City
the belief in the upper City city is
that he's just gone and the lower city
is just like having a great time nobody
from the upper City ever goes there so
okay so he the assumption is that Haiti
is he running the lower he's dead that's
dead dead not just like okay he's dead
dead
so Zeus rules the
13 um and his role is a legacy and
inherited so Poseidon and Hades are Al
also inherited which is why there's no
Hades the last Hades and his Heir were
killed so Zeus and Poseidon are the only
ones the others are all either elected
or appointed okay so it's this weird
political thing happening so Pan's
mother is demer and she was elected to
the role and her responsibility is like
food and trade essentially um and it's
super vicious there's lots of discussion
of like gossip mag magzines and websites
this is modern day contemporary kind of
technology so not that different from
our current political structure correct
it's very like is it did you get the
energy that it's like meant to kind of
be a commentary
or I once went um to see a traveling
Broadway production of Cinderella and
was very surprised that they had um
changed the storyline slightly to be a
very like to be their political or their
commentary on our current political
system um which I wasn't ready for cuz I
was like I'm just going to see I know
this story it's Cinderella on Broadway
[ __ ] and then I got there and I was
like oh this is not what I expected like
still very pleasant but yeah I do feel
like there's sometimes that happens with
books where you're like oh I just
thought we were just going to kind of
casually be reading this whatever but
there's um the new Christen Ashley book
um in the River Rain series definitely
like they have some like political
commentary on like fat shaming and Theo
like so it was it was interesting cuz I
was not going into it looking for that
or prepared for it right it's very much
like this idea that the ruling class
celebrities like we don't really know
them they are putting on a front for
whatever gain um and they don't have any
privacy and they're also all out for
themselves like they're supposed to be
there for the people and whatever but
it's really about their own personal
power um and so Zeus has had three haras
so there is no current Hera all three of
his wives have died
mysteriously um seems accurate for Zeus
correct so now getting into the plot
that we have that background um so panie
and her sister psyche are at a party um
and and they're kind of like hiding out
they don't really want any part of any
of what's going on but their mom
essentially dragged them into this life
because she chose to seek power and be
elected um so panie keeps thinking about
I only have to do this for three more
months because once she turns 25 she has
access to her trust fund and she's
planning to leave Olympus
so it's really weird though because
she's talking about I want to go to
Berkeley I want to go to California and
it's like where are you like where where
is Olympus like is the rest of the world
aware of Olympus like is it Olympia
that's in Washington no I mean the
actual City not in the book like what's
the name of the it is Olympia okay
Washington yeah yeah yeah cuz I was like
I don't think
no that's always interesting when and
you're like I just kind of like in my
head feel like I always end up making
the city there in like a Chicago or a
Boston like no matter if you're telling
me you're trying to get to California
like I don't know why but I just always
kind of end up picturing their cities
somewhere throughout the Northeast right
I don't what whatever ex but exactly
because it's like wait a minute like
where where the hell are you and it just
gets more confusing later but it's just
casually like I'm going to go to
Berkeley for my PhD in what who knows I
already have my Master's in what we
never find out we like no so she's not
working no okay like her job is to be
Demeter's daughter so um her mom finds
her and like grabs her and like drags
her through the party and she's like
what the hell is going on but she's like
the sunshine happy daughter and so she
like puts on the the front and she goes
up and um um Zeus is super creepy and
like grabs her hand and won't let go and
is like an announcement to make everyone
and proposes to her in front of
everybody oh [ __ ] apparently her mom
made a deal with
Zeus for her that her daughter could be
the fourth wife to mysteriously
disappear correct without telling her or
talking to her or warning her or
anything and so she's
like oh
[ __ ] because it's in front of like all
of Olympus the Press is there so she's
like okay she's like I'm going to die
and someone who's that powerful exactly
you're like you can't embarrass someone
that
powerful they will not it won't end well
if you do no yeah oh poor girl yeah her
mom is brutal I'm I'm assuming that
continues throughout yeah okay yeah so
like she's starting to hyperventilate
like she's like flipping out so her
sister is like oh hey I need to go to
the bathroom like come with me ha so
they go outside and she's like I'm going
to vomit like this is really really bad
so she asked her sister to go inside and
grab her purse and tell her mom that
she's sick and she needs to go home and
her sister is like we're g to figure
this out like I don't know what we're
going to do she has three other sisters
but the one is the only one at this
party she like we're going to figure
this out it's going to be okay like I've
got you so she leaves her and goes
inside and then panie is like I can't go
home and I'm pretty sure that if I go
back in that building I won't come back
out and she realizes like these thoughts
are extreme and not necessarily rational
but they're also not completely
irrational and so she's just freaking
out like in the conversation of is she
catastroph iing well maybe a little but
also this situation isn't great no and
your fears aren't entirely unfounded
correct got it so she takes off she just
books it and she's in an evening gown
it's the middle of winter and in high
heels and she just books it through the
city with no purse no purse no phone no
money her sister went to get those yep
so she just takes off so is
there like girl wait for your phone at
least well so she was like so a lot of
the like central theme Here is that
she's wanting to protect her sisters so
she doesn't want any blowback to come on
them so she knows if her sisters help
her get away that they will then have
consequences well that's thoughtful it
is yeah it is we haven't thought through
this plan but we have at least
considered the impact on others
thoughtful human yes
if
not um thriving at self-preservation
correct we love our
sisters I I can get behind that um so
you'd do the same for your sisters I
think I would yeah we're pretty tight
it's
true my sister I would do the same for
her I think I also have a very like kind
of like your older sister who's been
married for so long that you're like
it's I can't really imagine life without
their partner because their partner's
been around for so much of my life right
but yeah I do it for her yeah well I'm
just thinking like I just officiated my
sister's wedding this past weekend my
younger sister's wedding and um it went
really well but I was super anxious
about it but it turned out really well
can I tell you something funny actually
that happened please always so did I
tell you about how she requested a
Mariah Carey quote in the you didn't but
I am 0% surprised yeah so I asked what
she wanted in the ceremony and her
requirements were a gardening
theme Danny
DeVito a SpongeBob the musical quote
which she sent me and a Mariah Carey
quote of my
choosing of your choosing of my
choosing big Mariah Carey girl over here
so last Christmas we were sitting around
and it was totally silent like after
dinner you know everybody's just like
digesting in my their own business we're
tired we've been here for a while we're
feeling cozy getting weing down yeah and
they had on some like Christmas music
station and Mariah Carey came on and my
dad just goes I don't care for her just
really so ever since then we just will
randomly say I really don't care for
Mariah Carey and so that that was the
reest
quest which if you know my dad that's
very classically my father did your dad
catch the Mariah Carey quote oh he did
because did you say to quote the great
Mariah Carey literally yes I said to
quote the wise and kind Mariah
Carey after every storm if you look hard
enough a rainbow will appear and then I
pause and I went get it and I made eye
contact with my sister's wife's brother
who the whole weekend just kept going
because gay over and over
again and he like thumbs uped
me get
it so you're like I managed to troll my
dad and get a gay joke in there I did I
nailed it it was really good but like
also for the record the joke was would
not be offensive to Hannah's sister who
was getting married this is not like a
like making a like gay joke in poor
taste for I I sent her what I was going
to say including the get it and pause
for dramatic effect pause for
laugh I sent her everything I was going
to say and she approved it so
yes yeah yeah so we had a good time um
but I would I would do a lot I would do
a lot for either one of them at my
wedding my cousin officiated
it and she had several people come up to
her after saying we were so nervous when
we heard a woman was doing this and you
really exceeded our
expectations yeah well I had people
comment on how I did a really great job
and they were really worried that I was
going to like turn it into a standup
routine and I was
like for the record I'm not trying to
like [ __ ] up my sister's wedding right
I'm like literally I was like I wore all
black and tried to be as like non in
anybody's face as possible because I
didn't want it to be about me and like
all that [ __ ] you know and so I was like
okay like what do you what do you think
of me that's not the compliment you
think it is right like thank you yeah I
think we had really low expectations for
you right and you did so much better
than we thought you'd do we thought this
was going to be like a Seinfeld cold
open but instead you know but my dad you
did it you actually married your sister
off right in a way that was both funny
and moving I'm like oh but my dad was
like oh I forgot I was going to bring
paddles I was like what the hell are you
talking about paddles he was like with
numbers on them so we could hold them up
to rate you during the cereem
where are the napkins I can make some
now yes Dad that's the way this the
ceremon is going to go off without a
hitch you raiding my big sister was
like she's actually really nervous can
you not do that right now bless it he
came over and he was like does me
messing with you help or hurt I was like
I don't know just keep messing with me I
guess I I really appreciate that he
asked that me too yeah I was like like I
don't know but just keep doing it cuz
it's our norm and I think if you stop it
would be weird yeah if you stop it'll
make a yeah just don't draw attention to
it we'll get through this nobody
panic okay anyway I could keep talking
about that we love we love our sisters
is the moral of the story and so does
panie
so um like I said she books it and she
realizes that she's being followed by
two
men as she's like moving through the
city she's like wandering she doesn't
know where she's going and she's like um
this is bad yeah so she's like well the
city is not exactly like the safest ever
so she doesn't know who these guys are
they just kind of appear and are
following her so it's not like she's
like oh those are Zeus's bodyguards no
she doesn't recognize them yeah but they
are hurting her towards the river so the
river sticks that separates the upper
City from the lower City so she gets to
the
bridge and they are like pause question
with the separation between the
cities is it like one of those like more
like mythical like there's like a hard
SE like where she's like never been to
the lower City before okay yeah which is
also what's confusing because she gets
to the river and she's like at the
bridge and the guys are like Zeus would
like a word and then she's like a [ __ ]
so it is his guys this is worse than if
it was just like some Scoundrels from
the street you know I was hoping someone
wanted to mug me and sexually assault me
right now I have to have a conversation
with Zeus that would be better so she
runs or starts gives us perspective
right with like how bad she really
doesn't want any part of this situation
yes so she runs across the
bridge which apparently you can't do
unless you have specific permission so
there's some kind of magical mythical
mystical
barrier that prevents people from going
from the upper City to the lower City
without permission oh do you think if
she passed through the magical barrier
would spit her at at you see
Berkeley if only no she feels like her
Skin's being peeled off like as she's
going through it she's like this is
excruciating this is really awful now I
feel bad B for making jokes about you're
like no Chelsea didn't spit her out of
college she felt like she was dying
literally wanted to die so um there are
like Wards or something but it's never
explained where did these come from who
maintains them how does magic exist
nobody else in this universe has magic
so none of it is ever addressed and the
gods aren't actually Gods but there is
Magic right I'm loving this chaos it it
is just very much chaotic um we've had
several requests for this book and I
know you'd read it before and it's been
on my uh TBR for a while but real hyped
that we're here well and that's what I'm
saying like I really liked it the first
time I read it and I guess I just
skipped over all these questions and so
when I went back to outline it I was
like wait a minute how does any of this
work that is something that I've
actually noticed when like reviewing
books and trying to choose what to
outline there's a lot of books that
you're just like we're we all know we're
suspending belief to read this but then
upon reread you're
like really yeah yeah I I looked over a
lot like most things like I've looked
over most things so so she's running
across and there's a man standing at the
end of the bridge watching her like
struggle
across so
now we switch to Hades perspective so
Hades is watching her struggle across um
he has no idea what's going on doesn't
know who she is doesn't know how she got
here um but he's like I am going to take
advantage of this situation so he's just
looking at her and she's like basically
begging him for help and he's like you
have to get to me run like tells her to
like run and so she gets to him she's
like hobbling at this point cuz she lost
her shoes somewhere her feet are all
messed up like she's it's been a rough
night and so he oh not on the bridge I
forgot she had a long journey to get to
the bridge I thought I was like while
her skin was being pulled her body her
shoes disappeared on the bridge for a
second and then I the words also prevent
you from having
shoes why not add that yeah and you're
like her feet are all messed up and I
was like that's a weird
feature oh cuz she's been walking so
long yeah and had been in heels and is
now barefoot walking through the city
correct
correct so he like grabs her by the
throat right and um the guy's chasing
her why did you say right like you're
like he grabs her by the throat right
and I'm like should I assume he would
grab her by the throat why did he grab
her by the throat okay okay so in my
brain it tracked
because he's taking advantage of the
situation so he recognizes that these
are Zeus's men he has like like uh files
on all the people who work for Zeus so
he recognized them and he's like I don't
know who this chick is but Zeus wants
her so I'm going to take advantage of
this so not just taking advantage as far
as like there's a pretty girl struggling
towards me but actually had some context
of like I don't know who she is but
she's clearly affiliated with Zeus in
some regard and I'm going to take
advantage of that right I hate Zeus so
that's the whole deal so he's holding
her by the throat and the guys can't
cross so we learn that there's a treaty
in place that says that if Zeus or any
of his people or Hades and any of his
people cross the bridge that they are
declaring war on the other and
so
question bring
it there there's a treaty in place that
Hades can't cross but they all thought
Hades has been dead this whole time yeah
so
so we'll get there okay we will so she
is like shivering all over she's clearly
very injured it's the middle of winter
she's out here without a coat and no
shoes on she's she's a mess another
reason why I always think these cities
are in the Northeast right right I'm
like you mean it's a balmy like 60 in
the winter I read a book recently with
like a vague City that didn't exist and
then realized it was supposed to be in
like North
Florida and I was like I have
questions of all places like yeah like
and not like on the beach like not like
not not Panama City right not Coastal
yeah just like like Keystone Heights in
Gainesville like what yeah it felt like
it was more like we're outside of like a
Gainesville or a Jacksonville kind of
energy to me and to be fair that could
have been 100% user error um because you
know me sometimes I like get a little
over excited when I'm reading and I just
like I'll miss a detail or two so it
could have been highlighted you mean
like the time that you missed that one
of the twins died in Harry
Potter that was actually exactly what I
was thinking about
yes the time in the final Harry Potter
book when I missed I still a very
important death I still think about that
oh my God
okay so anyway as you should that my
sister still talk [ __ ] about that too
how long ago did the final Harry Potter
come out and I still haven't lived this
down okay sorry so he has her by the
throat Y and he's like basically nanny
nanny boo boo you guys can't get over
here go away bye but like dark and
Sinister so he's like go tell your boss
I've got his play thing or whatever so
he picks her up how long is the bridge
that he can shout I don't know I don't
know
one I'm sorry I'm gonna I'll shut up
now I'm like there is so many other
issues we can't get stuck on the length
of the bridge although I did think about
it cuz it seems like she's on the bridge
forever but anyway yeah it cuz it seemed
like it was this like long dark ominous
bridge and you can just shout Like She's
mine now [ __ ] like they could hear I
guess maybe the wordss amplify The Voice
like a megaphone who knows like why not
they can do that
too we'll just add to Katie Robert's
plot don't don't you worry so he like
puts his coat on her cuz she realizes
she's he's he realizes she's really cold
throws her over his shoulder and he's
taking off and he's like this might be
the chance I've been waiting for because
Zeus killed my parents and I've been
waiting years and years and years to
[ __ ] this guy
up so um he's really worried about her
she is like super mouthy it's really
funny and he's like oh no she's in shock
because she's like excuse me do you just
throw people over your shoulder is this
just the thing that you do because I'm
not into it and he's like she should be
terrified why is she not freaking the
[ __ ] out right now obviously she's in
shock so he takes her back to his house
and dionisis and Hermes who are part of
the 13 are in his house so ah okay we
learn that the 13 and some other like
Elite people are aware that Hades
exists everybody else in the upper City
thinks that he's just a myth and that
his line has died
out so um
she dianis and Hermes are like oh oh so
so we're kidnapping Zeus's fiance now is
that what we're doing cuz they were at
the party yeah like they saw the whole
proposal and everything mhm and so so
why were they suddenly in his house are
they all buddies yeah so they are like
friends friendly with him and just show
up in his house regularly and eat his
food and drink his wine and just hang
out and he has like the very like Broody
grouchy oh get out of my house but like
obviously like he likes them um but they
finally say like way to go Hades and
panie is like excuse me ha who what now
you're Hades ah a then she freaks out
then she freaks out when he's tearing
her over his shoulder totally fine but
now that we know that he's the the
Boogey Man of Olympus she's not into it
so she tries to run and he grabs her and
is like he realizes her feet are like
bloody like they're really she's really
injured so back to panie she's freaking
out he's cleaning up her feet and takes
really sweet care of her he's like
really growly but also very
gentle and
um he starts talking down to her about
like um don't worry like I'll get you
back to your fiance you can start
popping out his babies and like all this
other stuff um and so she what happens
when you assume yeah she slaps him
across the face is what happened she
does and she's like
um she's like I'll die first and then
she goes I just slapped
Hades she's like oh no I made a
mistake she's like in retrospect maybe I
felt a little too passionate in that
moment whoops so he just like lets it by
picks her up and carries her to a
bedroom um and he tells her if he if she
tries to escape and gets blood on his
floors that he will be forced to bring
her back so she can clean them and she's
like that's what that's you're worried
about your floors and he's like they are
very nice floors
yes and
so feels like both of them have
interesting priorities here yeah well
and they're V both just like weirdly
irreverent about the most random things
yeah which it keeps it interesting so
there's a landline phone in the room
she's aware it's probably bugged but she
calls her sisters anyway um and to tell
them that she's okay she's in in the
lower cities with Hades they're freaking
out so they offer to help her they're
like we will help you get out of Olympus
apparently it's very
expensive because just like there are
Wards between the upper and lower City
there are Wards preventing you from
leaving
Olympus so you have to have like ways
out right you have to have money and
whatever
so was she ever were her was her mom
ever going to let her go to UC Berkeley
no no her mom was not aware of that plan
okay so that was just in her head she
was like I'm going to my I'm like my
dream is to get out to go get my PhD to
live a life outside of this place I
don't want to live like this like with
people always watching me and all this
[ __ ] um all this political like
nastiness um but her sisters know but
nobody else knows
so um they offer they're like we will
pull our money we will get you out and
she's like no no because that just means
mom will just organize for one of you to
marry Hades like I'm not or to marry
Zeus I mean I'm not doing that so um she
tells them not to get involved and she
after the conversation she's like cool
cool cool so I have um no money no phone
and no plan so just living with Hades
these days I'm just going to have to
[ __ ] figure it out dude um and she
doesn't feel safe at all like she's in
this stranger's house she has
nothing there's nothing in the room she
can really use as a weapon so she's like
well there's no lock on the bathroom
door or on the bedroom door but there is
on the bathroom so she moves a table in
front of the bedroom door and takes the
comforter and like sleeps in the tub and
like locks the door cuz she's like I
don't I don't know what's going to
happen to me at this
point that's [ __ ] terrifying I know
because it's all like sort of kitchy
until that moment where she's like no
like I this could be really really bad
well and I think that's another like
place in a lot of the books we read
where like it's very easy to suspend
belief but then if you actually pause
and think about truly being that
character in that moment it's like oh
right oh this is this is a very unsafe
situation she doesn't even have shoes
like she's f [ __ ] like in an evening
gown right like no clothes she has
nothing so back to Hades Hermes and
dianis are still in the kitchen um or
they're in the kitchen in the morning
when he goes down um Hermes is like a
super spy messenger that's her role on
the 13 um and she hints that panie is
not what she seems cuz Hades has seen
her in the gossip magazines and stuff
and so he's like she's just a Dy trust
fun kid like very shallow whatever and
Hermes is like I love that you think
that like okay CU Hermes knows things
that she really shouldn't know so Hades
takes is that like a
magical like or just like is it one of
the okay you there's not an answer I
don't need to ask yeah I mean it's
unclear she can get into places that she
shouldn't be able to get into but is she
just a super cat burglar or does she
have magic I don't know yeah um like is
it like she's there I'm like do people
bring her the secrets does she go find
the secrets just have questions seems
like both okay yeah so um Hades goes up
what a job to have I know and she does
like all the the uh message carrying
between the 13 so she
knows everybody's
business imagine being asked what your
job title is and you get to say I'm a
super secret
keeper and that's your full-time job I
mean like as a therapist kind of like
you
know super secret Keepers Hippa does
make us super secret Keepers we are
federally protected super secret
[Laughter]
Keepers but we're also mandated
reporters yeah so we're we we're stupid
secret Keepers unless posing imminent
threat to yourself or others or know of
harm being posed to a child or the
elderly yeah yeah yeah with with those
caveats alone we're super secret Keepers
super super secret Keepers as y yeah um
so he goes up to wake up panie and he
just thinks she's really cute like you
know she's all rumpled and he just
thinks she's really cute did he did she
come out did he break through the doors
he so he opened the door that wasn't
locked and like knocked over the side
table and he was bothered that she felt
that
unsafe um but just came across as really
irritated towards her but he was more
like oh I don't like that like like why
is she like why why doesn't she feel
safe here yeah but he he didn't do that
internally internally he was like oh I
don't like that like I don't like that
she didn't feel safe like what's
happened to her before that like she
would to these measures and stuff but
externally which just very grumbly and
Gruff so um she's still more mouthy
about him barging into places um and uh
she makes a joke that um he's like well
this is my house I will go into any room
that I choose to go into she's like you
should have some kind of consent form if
that's the case people should be made
aware before they stay here
and um he's
like
noted it's but it is foreshadowing for
other stuff so um
consent yeah consent being the
foreshadow big big consent Queen here um
so he's thinking that like he doesn't
feel good about using her for his
revenge he's like like I actually kind
of like her she's cute and she's sweet
and like like she's innocent in all this
I don't want to use her okay um but
before he can like say anything she's
like I think we can help each other cuz
he made some like vague comments about
revenge on Zeus and how much he hates
Zeus so she's
like I got you so back to panie she
intentionally puts on her fake Sunshine
Persona um and she's like so go ahead
and use me go ahead and use me let Zeus
believe that you've ruined me because
then he won't want me it's a purity
culture thing in the upper
City and um Hades was like that will
never work like Zeus will know it's not
true um and she's like then we'll just
do it for real like we won't lie we'll
just really do it um and she only needs
three months cuz she's going to get out
she's never coming back um Zeus only
goes for virgins or who he believes are
virgins
um her public Persona is very pure but
she alludes to like she had a previous
girlfriend that was like her best lover
ever and like other men are just stupid
basically um so uh Hades is like no it
won't work because I'm not into you like
I don't like you I don't want you and
she's
like okay and just starts thinking of
alternate plans in her mind she's like
fair enough on to the next that sucks
cuz he's kind of hot but whatever I have
bigger fish to fry at this point I
really appreciate especially with a lot
of the heroins that we have
read that doesn't ruin her yeah like so
many of the heroins we read are like I'm
just so frumpy and like yeah one passive
like I feel like a lot of the books we
read even like someone will compliment
someone and they're like what did they
mean by that and and he's like I don't
like you she's like no skin off my nose
on to the next yeah literally she's
like basically it's one of those things
where it's like so many of the heroins
their self-esteem is so fragile that a
single half of a rejection like not even
an entire rejection but half of one is
like the major plot point in the book um
where for her she was like all right
well that was one option for a plan if
that's not going to work I need to think
of a different plan I feel like that's
Megan Quinn's books yes I've been on a
big Megan Quinn kick we've talked about
this I did that last year I think yeah
yeah like and the series are all fun and
easy but there's it's also like I think
the game I've I've turned it into is
trying to figure out what minor plot
point is going to be the minor
inconvenience that's going to implode
their relationship yeah like it never
seems to
be worth the Fallout in my head um and
then they always resolve it very quickly
yep and I'm that's my one because I
think Megan Quinn's books are like so
fun and so smart and so witty but I'm
just
like make him work for it a little girl
right right like I'm like
or like I'm like the the fuckups just
never seem big enough for the level of
response right but then the like graving
seems to be actually in proportionate to
the size of the [ __ ] right you know
what I mean it's like really big
response but then the actual like I'm
sorry they're like it's okay I forgive
you right well that's I've been I told
you I found the JS Scott of motorcycle
club romances I've been reading and it's
the same thing and it's the same thing
every time where like the girl is
feeling kind of insecure but she like
really loves him and then one day she
comes into the clubhouse and one of the
club bunnies is like all over him and
she's like oh my God I knew it I knew he
would never really want me and then she
runs away and puts herself in Mortal
danger
like every
time I've read literally like 20 of
these by this
point every single
time bless it for the authors out there
trying to hold down the action adventure
romance because keeping it fresh when
you're like essentially the women are
always getting kidnapped and the men are
always coming to save them yes like the
details of what the kidnapping look like
even like in the last one I read the
girl ran away but they the whole club
and all the women had tracker implanted
just in case they get kidnapped okay
because they get kidnapped so often they
have track kidnapped so often so she she
knows she has a Tracker but she's like I
don't want him to find me so she somehow
already had a black market frequency
[Laughter]
Jammer and there's no like how did she
get it where did she get it from why did
she get it I couldn't tell you just in
her purse you never know when you'll
need it she just had
it
anyway yes that's not our plot Point
here thankfully um
so
he blah blah blah she's thinking of
Alternatives and then um he gets really
quiet and then he's like wait a
minute if do this we have to have sex in
public
um hard pivot I'm not into you like that
she's like okay I'll find another plan
he's like unless we [ __ ] in public
literally okay yeah so she he's like you
will belong to me in every way this is
not going to be uh only when we're in
public thing this is going to be like
for real for real thing for the next 3
months what what like he took like a a
full minute to consider and was like
hold on a
minute I've had other
thoughts if we're doing this we're
really doing it yes there's no
half-assing
this but right but at first he was like
I don't know so she's like bet let's do
it sounds great so um then she's like we
got to seal it with a kiss so they kiss
uh um so back to Hades he's like super
into this whole kiss situation and he's
like
um uh I got to back up like oh no
because I really like her that's why I
said no in the first place but she's so
cute and I really want to help her and
he's like I could just pay for her to
get out of Olympus like I could just get
her out but I don't want to a so so he
leaves her so he said no because he
likes her he was too into her and like
this just isn't a good
idea and then was like well better make
these three months count and for a penny
and for a pound we're going for it um so
he leaves he goes into his office um
he's talking to one of his like adviser
people who essentially raised him after
his parents died um they were killed in
a fire I just realized
pound you just realized pound is in like
British money didn't
you I was just sitting here I've never
really thought about the say before I
just sitting here I was like oh my
God I want to be very clear we haven't
been drinking today no unfortunately
this is entirely
sober
oh my God you know the beauty of this
podcast is it really keeps me
humble yeah I'm Chelsea and I do know
what a [ __ ] is is like something I
never thought I would say before before
the show oh my God you made me
cry okay um for a penny in for a I like
that I just said so the pound and the
look on your face you're like I
automatically know what happened I no
questions
wow [ __ ] man I love that we're learning
I it's just I've literally never thought
about it before you know it's just like
I was like that's what I was actually
ruminating I was like wow you know you
don't really hear in for a penny and for
a pound that often I was like what a
weird comparison and then I paused a
second longer and went
oh that feels so
obvious oh my
God oh I like that I'm talking about his
parents being murdered and you're like
wait a minute wait a minute honestly I
completely missed his parents
murder which feels like a really shitty
thing to
say honestly it's very
unbrand yeah yeah yeah the
murder but also the analogy right right
right so his parents were killed in a
fire um and he believes Zeus said we
know that Zeus said it okay it's not
just like it is confirmed Zeus said it
and also in the house right so he is
very
scarred um and um it's a whole big mess
so the his advisers are trying to
convince him to just like go ahead and
give panie back like this is a bad idea
and he's like no I didn't break the
treaty she ran from him she ran to me so
unless she chooses to gooss the bridge
yeah unless she chooses to go
back I'm not keeping her against her
will can she cross back
yes so she can cross to the high city
whatever it's called M with with no
problem but going to the the low City
where Hades is is where it will cause
the physical issues right not the bloody
stump feet right that was from walk
because she didn't she didn't have
permission from Hades to
cross so like diis and her perm dianis
and Hermes can cross because they have
permission from Zeus or from Hades and
Zeus to go back and forth do you need
permission from
both okay that's way that's you need you
need Zeus's permission to cross to the
higher City and you need Hades
permission to cross to the lower yes
okay so um
they he's like working on getting her
some clothes because obviously she has
no clothes so um Zeus calls while he's
sitting in his office and starts making
threats and demands that Hades give her
back um and he taunts Zeus about it and
he says um he's like taunting him and
the quote is like uh you can only
imagine like the depraved things all do
to that tight little body
and he's like she'd prefer to be
debauched by me than anywhere near you
son like he's like going in but he feels
really gross that he's like saying that
about her he's like
oh like I know we agreed that we were
going to help each other out but this
yeah I don't like talking about her like
that yeah but he doesn't anyway so he
doesn't mind it enough to stop correct
he's like like oh
guilt it'll
pass that's a fascinating moral concept
that we could delve into at some point
as well which is not really what we do
here on the show that's a different
podcast that's a different podcast one
we haven't started yet um although I'm
sure someone else has and you should go
listen to their therapy podcast cuz we
or there their guilt
whatever their commentary on social
mores
whatever what a good word I
know I've been thinking I read it
somewhere and was like
Mor
I love a really like a good vocab word
um and I also know I talk so fast I [ __ ]
them up on a regular basis we like as
I'm saying it I'm like that word no
longer sounds intelligent because you
got it WR have you watched the new Glass
Onion the Ed Norton one uh-uh um on
Netflix I well relatively no in the last
year or two right um but there's a Ed
Norton like is always using these big
words
like getting them wrong saying them
wrong and at some point they're like
he's an idiot like he like is using all
these words making people think he's
smart he doesn't know [ __ ] he's [ __ ]
up all these words and that's how I feel
most of the time well that's like
Michael Scott when he's like it's in
calable you know like I'm not Su
stitious but I am a little a little
stitious um that always makes me think
of 10 Things I Hate About You I know you
can be
overwhelmed yeah can you just be welmed
I think you can in
Europe that movie is brilliant it is I
haven't watched him in forever so years
ago when I worked youth ministry I was
having a big slumber party with all of
like my high school girls and I was in
charge of bringing the movies
and I I brought that one with a bunch of
others and they were just like Chelsea
we should not have like this was before
streaming services right we should not
have put you in charge of the movies
[ __ ] I um and then like 10 minutes in
they're like this is the best movie ever
and like thank you we never would have
seen this and I'm like I I know you're
welcome you're welcome
yeah I need to watch that now I need to
find it somewhere our first answer at
our wedding was Can't Take My Eyes Off
Of You not not the Heath Ledger version
right
the Lauren Hill version oh nice yeah it
was a good first Dan what was your first
dance did you do one I was gonna say
yeah we didn't dance does Matt dance no
do you dance
yeah how you said both of those no no
yeah I
Dan okay that's like the energy of our
whole relationship is like mad is is the
anchor and then I just cause chaos and
then return like when you crash your car
into a ditch trying to get boiled
peanut I
no that wasn't the example I was
thinking I showed I showed Vance a photo
I was like oh looks like Hannah and Matt
like I was like scrolling through
Facebook and I showed him a photo of
y'all and he's like I've never seen a
photo of matth before he's like but he
looks exactly as I pictured he would I
was like I felt the same way yeah like I
was like I don't know who but like as
soon as I saw a photo of him I was like
oh yep I get it like this energy yeah no
makes so much sense yeah yeah he let me
braid his beard the other day I've never
experienced so much serotonin in my life
oh my God like I was just like we were
just sitting there and I was like baby I
want to braid your beard and he he was
like okay like whatever I was like oh my
God so I did like two little baby
braids did he wear them to work no okay
no it was on the weekend okay yeah not
wi public thing no it made me really
happy would he go in public with the
braided beard I don't think he would
care touche yeah he
might anywh who um bless Matt he Amen to
that y are you guys are just like such a
good little pairing together thank you
okay where were we I
panie so she gets dressed in borrowed
clothes she goes out with
Hades um and then he shows up and he's
like carrying her she's like I can walk
and he keeps getting really frustrated
with her that she's not taking better
care of herself like she's not eating
enough she's like pushing it too hard on
her feet that are really injured he's
like he's really frustra with her so so
um she just leans into the fact that
he's going to carry her because he he's
not listening so she's like whatever you
uh there's no point in asking to walk if
you're going to keep ignoring me right
so um he takes her into the basement of
the house to this really weird
room and she's
like uh
awkward concerning is there anything in
the room
it's a Sex Dungeon is what we find out
there we go but he's like it's not a Sex
Dungeon and Hermes is like it's a Sex
Dungeon like it's definitely a Sex
Dungeon don't let him fool you it's
definitely a Sex Dungeon yeah literally
she's really funny um so he tells her
that um when he said he cuz part of why
he said no to the original offer was
that he doesn't bargain for sex but when
he take to takes her down there he's
like well that wasn't totally
true
um because you know consent is really
important to me so before we enter this
room I need you to tell me pick a safe
word so she picks pomegranate like nod
to the myth right I see and
um he's like harping on and on about
consent and she's like oh consent
matters does it like how you carry me
with
consent and he's like this was a bad
idea and she's like I'm I was just
kidding like I was just teasing I'm
sorry I'm sorry like I won't make jokes
about consent anymore I'm sorry so um
they go in and um it's like a replica of
Zeus's throne room but a Sex Dungeon
she's like she's like I see what you did
here I get
it I get
it so you're trying to work through over
there was a little bit of resentment so
um they go in and it's empty and she's
like where is everybody he's like did
you think I was just going to
like put you on a stage the first time
we ever touch each other in front of her
room full of people like no no honey a
little bit she literally was like I kind
of was thinking that yes
so
um he goes through an extensive list of
sexual Kinks and she yes no maybe yes no
maybe and they like go through all the
things consent matters he like explains
to her that at any point pomegranate
stops everything blah blah blah this is
all for her
pleasure um she's clearly really really
into it and he just stays stone-faced
through the whole thing like he's
completely unaffected he's like how do
you feel about anal
play and she's like maybe
and he's like noted and she's like oh my
God like I'm on fire and he's like all
right
so they're going through it this does
seem like a very fun book is it is
really fun um and I I appreciate the way
that she goes about consent in a healthy
BDSM type relationship cuz normally in
these books it's like and suddenly he
pulled out a whip and I was like oh my
god I've never been so on in my life and
it's like no no no no no n nope nope we
shouldn't be doing that um so I can't
imagine I mean I can I don't want to
right right right that's the key cuz I'm
like if you just have open communication
with your partner
M we can all be on the same page yeah
like just use your words use your words
and there are things that you're like
maybe like I'd be willing to try it I
don't really I don't really know how I
feel like I feel like my my husband and
I have like not that I'm going to like
do a deep dive into Vance ni sex life
right but I I feel like I really
appreciate within our relationship
there's the comfort and the safety that
like if we like I tried something and I
went yes or no he goes no and I go okay
now we know and just like moved on but I
was like like I I can't imagine not
having conversations in the so many
books there's no they just dive straight
in yeah like and it's concerning
multiple partners multiple toys yep with
no nothing you good with this right you
you
okay hot like
oh okay like this is another way we're
suspending belief like okay yes 1,000%
that is another way of suspending belief
in a lot of these books I heard I was
listening to another podcast a while
back and I heard the host was like so
some research has come out recently that
women who have sex with men um have the
least satisfying sex life and 80% say
that they do not have orgasms regularly
and the the co-host goes that [ __ ] is
dark are straight women
okay
it's like a gay man who's like are
straight women okay so concerned a lot
of them aren't he's like why are we
having conversations about this why
doesn't everyone know it's like well the
pleasure of women doesn't matter so it
yeah the pleasure woman doesn't matter
and there just needs to be more open
conversation mhm and like I was having
conversation with
someone who um
heterosexual relationship and I was
talking to the male partner and they
were feeling some like not like shame or
guilt but just they're they were noting
their um their partner initiated sex
more often and they were like kind of
internalizing that about like oh is that
like a character flaw on my end is that
like a problem with me that like am I
not into it like why am I not like and I
was just able to say well an 80 % of
like traditional heterosexual
relationships the male does initiate
more but in 20% it is common that the
woman has a higher sex drive and
initiates more and it looked like the
relief that he's like oh oh what yeah
and I'm like it doesn't it doesn't mean
anything's wrong with you no it's just
different yeah it's not even that
different it really it really isn't it's
okay but there's no conversations about
it so everything
feels dirty and dark
well and it's also this idea that like
women are the prey and like men are
supposed to be initiating and like women
aren't supposed to be into it as much
it's like just a very weird gross
misogynist when I was like younger and
like still in physically developing
developing and such I remember not even
it never occurred to me that sexual that
like sex could be pleasurable for the
woman right like my literal thought
process like oh yeah like you have sex
and the man comes like my actual thought
process of how sex worked as a young
child well but then we have this like
swing the other direction in a lot of
these romance novels where it's like he
barely touched my [ __ ] and I came like
he breed yeah he breathed on my vagina
and it was Dripping I came harder than
I've ever come in my life and so never
and I've never been with a partner
before and you're like that's not how
this works I've never seen a penis like
it's like what yes so that's part of why
I this book stood out to me and why I
remembered it is like this scene
specifically because he goes through all
the things um and so and as noted in the
book she is like very aroused he's being
very clinical and he's like we just need
to get through this list yes or no on
this yes or no on that and she's like oh
my God she's like are we doing this
she's like these things are all options
what right literally yeah so um he tells
her it's yes it can be hot to talk about
consent is the only Point yes consent is
sexy so um he's like yes sir when we're
in this room or you'll be punished and
she's like oh no I liked that like okay
all right so he puts her on the stage in
a spotlight there's there's nobody there
but he puts her up there um and tells
her to strip he's teasing her um she's
like shaking she's so excited um and
then
um yeah she's like I haven't been this
excited since I hooked up with my
exgirlfriend a few years ago this is
[ __ ] awesome like excited so um he
tells her that he's going to make her
come and then take her upstairs to
change the bandages on her feet and if
she's a good girl she'll get to come
again um she's like yes
please I also just love the sexual
confidence in these books oh right when
like especially with that stat of like
yeah most most straight women are not
orgasming
consistently and all of these books are
like I will make you come five times
tonight or I have not done done my job
properly and I know how to make that
happen and I'm like with a
swiftness like with a Swift I will make
that expedited that orgasm for you like
you're like what right like like the
confidence to just be like I'm going to
make you come multiple times what books
are you reading my guy
okay okay so we're back to Hades he
really is like super turned on but he's
like keeping it locked down um so
there's all kinds of stuff about um he's
talking to her about what it's going to
be like when they have an audience that
you know they're all going to want her
and he's like do you think I should
share you and she's like I don't know
that I'm into that he's like good good
because you're mine and I won't he's
like they can look and be jealous but
they can't touch one of those yeah so
then my notes say he finger bangs her to
completion we love that for her then he
realizes like I need to step away from
her like this is a lot like I'm really
excited so um
blah blah blah um he basically his whole
thing is he keeps his territory and his
people in the lower City safe because
people think he's like the baddest
[ __ ] and so he says um I can't
appear to be let around by the [ __ ] by a
girl from the upper City like can't
happen can't be [ __ ] whipped out here
nope so he's like L break our political
system literally like the fabric of
Olympus will crumble so
um he continues to like take care of her
he takes her upstairs um to redress her
feet um and um she's like well we should
definitely [ __ ] before we [ __ ] in front
of people right like we should we should
get that way just making sure we should
we should test that one out too just to
be clear you know
um and um he is like giving her a hard
time about not taking care of herself
and all this other [ __ ] um and he tells
her that if she can't be trusted to care
for her body then he will do it for her
which she does not like she's like it's
my body so maybe calm down he's like
nope the next three months it's mine you
agreed sorry not sorry no take backs and
he's like realizing he's never kept a
submissive like this before and he's
like am I supposed to be feeling like
this like I don't know so he's a little
conflicted so um
he goes to leave we're back to Pan's
point of view she's like you owe me
another
orgasm um don't forget have a good night
yeah she's like excuse me you promised
um she's definitely a brat she just
wants to he's like what do you really
want and she's like to misbehave is what
I want because she's always been like
the perfect good little girl um so he
she he tells her to rub one out in front
of him so he does that he touches
himself at the same time um and then he
she's like begging him to touch her and
so he just like rubs her with his dick I
don't know why I did that hand motion
I'm really
sorry but like there's just no
penetration there's sexual contact and
no penetration but they both
come well initially when you said rub
her and had those hand motions I thought
like she was getting a postorgasm
massage
and then cuz you used both hands for the
hand motion and then you said with his
dick now like
logistically Curious don't worry about
it
so um yeah there's good after care she's
like I'm not into cuddling he like pulls
her into his lap and he's like this
isn't cuddling this is after care
right um and so they have a sweet moment
and it's nice
so then Hades leaves we're back to him
Hermes is there um and she has a message
from demer so when Hermes brings a
message it comes out in the voice of the
person who sends the message right okay
so she opens her mouth I had been
wondering how the messaging worked
deer's voice comes out of hermes's mouth
which sounds disturbing so um she says
that at least if you know that it's
going to
would May a little L disturbing but if
you don't know that Hermes is about to
open their mouth and it's going to be
another yeah unsettling so um deer says
she's going to cut off the food supply
to his people if she doesn't give or if
he doesn't give panie back so um he's
pissed um and he knows that he's not
going to do that um and also his people
have been preparing for something like
this for quite some time because of the
tension between him and Zeus so he's
like we got it not worried it's all good
yeah like she can take her food supply
away and we will still be okay we have
been we knew this was coming at some
point didn't know what the Catalyst
would be right so he keeps thinking like
I am not ever giving her
back even if this is temporary and she
leaves me she will be happy and it will
be her choice I'm not giving her back
like I don't care about the
consequences so he's just seems like a
kind Gruff
misunderstood yeah he's got a little bit
of like Beast from Beauty and the Beast
energy I thought that yeah um so he
takes her shopping they go all through
the lower City he's like showing her
around there's lots of History the upper
city has essentially erased their
history like it's all new and like they
tore down historical buildings and
things like that and the lower city is
much more more like rich in that area so
she's loving it they have a special
bonding moment where he takes her to his
favorite place in the city um and then
as they go to leave she almost faints
because she hasn't been eating so um is
there a reason that she hasn't been
eating she's stressed she's one of those
that like when she gets stressed she
can't eat okay um and so it's not like a
like
intentionally not taking care of herself
nah she just has a hard time eating full
meals when she's really stressed I
understand that same yeah yeah so he
takes her back to the house he my notes
say he's big mad um and he gets a bunch
of takeout for her
um she's like annoyed with him but also
kind of likes that he's taking care of
her so um they're in his room she falls
asleep and he's again just really mad
that because also part of of this is
she's ignoring her body's cues about her
hunger about her fatigue about her pain
and he's like I can't trust her in a
scene to tell me what's actually going
on with her like if I can't trust her to
take care of herself on a day-to-day
basis how can I trust her to be honest
with me like when we're in the middle of
something that could actually hurt her
if she doesn't tell me you know valid
valid concern yep um so
she wakes up later he's like get dressed
he puts it out like this um princess
leaes situation like the gold bikini yes
gold bikini situation and he's like in a
full black suit and they go down to the
playroom and there's a ton of people
there and
um he is realizing he just really likes
her like she's bratty and fun and smart
and he's
like yeah he's like balls [ __ ] so this
wasn't supposed to happen he's like
she's not mine like she has he has to
keep reminding himself like this is
temporary like she really isn't his to
take care of even though his instincts
are to protect her so they go down to
the playroom and it's obvious that she's
really nervous so this whole setup was
very intentional so she is dressed like
essentially Princess Leia as a slave at
that one point in the movie it's very
intentional to like send this message so
they go in everyone is staring um but he
tells her like we're not going to go on
stage tonight like that had been his
original plan but seeing how nervous she
was he was like we're just going to
essentially like [ __ ] over here like in
this Throne people want to watch that's
cool but we're not going to get on the
stage so um he organized a different
show at as like a pre-show anyway so um
there's like a naked woman that there's
a lot of detail about that she's very
full figured and like whatever um and a
a man comes out ties her up she gets
super turned on Haiti starts fingering
her in front of everybody um and clearly
no one's watching the stage like
everybody knows who she is everybody
knows who he is and they're all like oh
[ __ ]
so um they Bang
um he pulls out a condom y he pulls out
a condom they bang
um he turns her around to face the room
so that there is no question that she's
super into it like he's not forcing
anything like this is all of it is very
much a show uhhuh um very
consensual yep very of her own accord
yep so then he pulls out but he didn't
come like she came but he didn't um and
she's like what are you doing and he's
like I'm not done with you yet and I
don't want to do that in here
so so fair enough he's super excited and
then he's like what's this funny feeling
in my chest and that's like through the
whole book love there's like why is my
heart all squeezy like what's that like
okay um is someone going to eventually
go that feeling it's love I mean he does
eventually he does yeah I was
hoping so there's like a whole bunch of
political [ __ ] that's happening in this
playroom scene with like people from the
upper City seeing them um and so there's
a lot of people from the upper City in
his basement yeah so like it is the best
kept secret that Hades is alive like it
well the worst kept secret really like
that he's there
thriving having sex parties like
everybody in the upper City appar knows
this clearly not desolate no or dead or
dead no yeah very much alive everybody's
doing great so
um
uh they're like Hermes is warning him
like this could cause uh a war like this
is really serious and then Hades all of
a sudden starts to realize like Pan's
sisters are unprotected in the upper
City he's like oh [ __ ] I really should
have thought of that that's not ideal
so he's like trying to have his Spies
Like keep an eye on them and watch
them and this is what he's think about
while he's [ __ ] her no this is after
this is after he's pulled out and he's
like still hard having a conversation
yeah I guess in my head he was still
inside her well I didn't think he was
still inside her but when he said I'm
not done with you I thought like the
scene was continue where like they were
going to go up to his like it did seem
that way but that's not what happened
then when he start talking I was like
wait
what we're still playing political Mind
Games he didn't nut but suddenly goes I
realize her sisters are unprotected
they're not safe you
guys so
um then he decides like yeah I've waited
long enough I'm ready to go thanks bye
and so he carries her out and then he
realizes like he's not carrying her
because of her beet he just likes to
carry
her so it's like a welcome so
um he finally tells her about the threat
her mom made to his people and she's
like I'll go back like I'll go back um
and he's like no no we got it they make
out he turns out the lights and she's
like but I want to I want to see you
like I want to touch you and he's like
h no
like he does eventually let her touch
him but he doesn't want her to see him
the
scars classically um initially he does
like prevent her from touching him but
eventually they go all
in she puts another condom on him they
have a solidifying
[ __ ] and she asks him to stay with her
um even though she's in his bed he's
like babe where' you think I was going
to go
so it's liter yes I'll stay with you
like well since you ask nicely right um
and not because it's my bed exactly so
he holds her he's thinking about how
it's really going to suck when she
leaves but he's really grateful to have
her now um and it's she's really
determined to make the most of their
time she's like We're going to milk this
just for everything so but still with
the 3 months
timeline in mind she's going because the
other thing is if she doesn't go then
her mom will
never lift this ban on the food like
it's not just that after 3 months she
gets to leave but it's like there will
be far-reaching consequences if she
chooses to stay with him right so um he
has never let anybody touch his scars
before um and you know previous lover
have been like disgusted by him because
of it and he mentions like male lovers
too it's just like casually like BS he's
a five on the Kinsey scale like
throughout the book for both of them um
which is interesting but um he keeps
reminding himself this is temporary and
then he gets a text that there's a
mandatory meeting of the 13 via Zoom I
guess so um the 13 minus Hara cuz she's
dead get on the meeting Zeus is
demanding panie back her mom gets all
indignant um and like you will give my
daughter back and he's like I'm sorry
the daughter that you sold to the wife
murderer that daughter I don't think
I'll be doing that
like the daughter that you so clearly
cared about that you sacrificed her for
your own political purposes the deep
love and you have for for that daughter
no we won't be doing
that so then um she he's like you can't
actually be
concerned like come on like Zeus you'd
never really talk to the girl you
proposed to or Rando for a political
deal you sold your daughter how mad can
you'all be that that I have her right
like I don't think this is about pranie
like let's be real so um he she comes up
behind him wrapped in his sheets like
there's description of the beard burning
hickeys all over her and she leans down
into the camera and is like I'm very
happy here thank you and like hangs up
on the 13 and Hades is like
babe he's like not even I would
like okay somebody woke up spicy like
okay so um um she gives him a
Hummer he's super into it um and he's
like really into making her cry while
she does it but she's also into that and
so they have like a whole system for if
he goes too far if he hurts her obvious
and as long as there's a system and it
works for both of them yeah we're into
it um and then um he's just having a lot
of feelings he's just having a lot a lot
of feelings that he's trying not to
acknowledge um so then he
gives her a cell phone that is not
tapped so that she can communicate with
her
sisters um so she calls them she tells
them everything that's going on they
continue to encourage her she's still
feeling really guilty um they're being
followed um by they're pretty sure
Zeus's men and so they are concerned
that Zeus is going to try to do
something to one of them to like lure
her back across the bridge and they're
like listen no matter what happens do
not come back here like do not come for
us we will be
okay but she's like freaking out
foreshadowing very much so so
um Hades they're like living life like
he comes in and sees her all curled up
after he's had a really long hard day
and he's
like I really like seeing her here yeah
this is so nice to come home to someone
um so he decides to take her out they
Explore More of the city they have a
great time um she sees how much he
really loves his people and like
spending time with them which is very
different than the 13 in the upper City
it's very much like worthy Elite kind of
deal um but he's like eating from what
amounts to a food truck like you know
he's having a good time and he knows the
owner of the food truck like you know um
and
so she moves into his
room um and um apparently he has this
thing where he has to check all the
doors and windows before he can go to
bed that's like left over from the
trauma of the fire when he was younger
and um he she doesn't make him feel bad
about it she's just like she like
reminds him she's like did you check the
doors and windows cuz she knows he won't
sleep mhm if he doesn't and he's like
well I'm [ __ ] like super she's
thoughtful and kind and looks so warm
and cuddly yeah she's just real cute um
I love this for him yes so it's very
sweet so then um it's been about a week
um they've been banging panie confesses
that she really wants to be on the stage
um
with Hades um they bang again because
they get turned on talking about it and
he's like uh I'll do whatever you want
like next sex party let's have another
party yeah bet got you girl say
less and then um he finally lets her see
him naked which is a huge moment for him
um he starts to get really worried that
Zeus hasn't done anything
he's like I'm concerned that he's too
quiet yeah it's been like two weeks like
where you at man like I don't like it so
um he finally realizes all the squeezy
feelings are love he's like oh
[ __ ] um so he's reminding himself it's
temporary I have to let her go all that
stuff um she wakes up and asks him about
going without a condom cuz before this
it's been every single time very clear
and itive condoms are used she says she
has an IUD and she's clean and he gets
really excited that she trusts him so
much um so they have more
sex
um and so again they go out they're
having a great time she asks asks to
stop at a pet store and he's like sure
we can stop at the pet store like
literally whatever you want what does he
think is going to happen when you stop
at a pet store with yes you're correct
yeah so they go in and um they have
three puppies that were
abandoned and she like gets on the
ground and starts playing with them and
the owner of the shop which of course
Haiti knows the owner he donates to them
all the time to help with like Strays
and stuff um is like I've been trying to
get this one to get a dog and she's like
Hades you have to but you can't separate
them we need all three I see I see the
the nod there as well look at us go yeah
how big are the dogs they will be big
right now they're puppies but their paws
are massive and of course the biggest
one he named curus um
so um she like internally she's really
worried about him being alone when she
leaves cuz his house is all big and
empty and she's like is that part of why
she wanted to get him pets so that he
wouldn't be alone yeah cuz she's worried
about him she's like he likes to take
care of things he likes to take care of
people people and like if I'm not here
he'll have them to take care
of so um well with your inability to
care for yourself he might have them to
care for even if you are
here just for the record just a thought
so then um she just wants him to be
loved and to like be able to love and so
he he decides he'll take all three um
and he says these are our dogs and she's
like no no Hades these are your dogs and
he's like no you don't understand these
are our dogs so he insists that she
named two of them
um and then like on their way back she's
like oh so they're going to deliver the
um like supplies mhm and we'll walk home
and then she's like oh my God I think of
his house as home this is not good yeah
like this is not good cuz I got to go um
so she's very concerned about like the
trouble that she's going to make for
every body um but she doesn't see
another option mhm so um they have a
very heartfelt moment where they both
basically say like if we were different
people
like I would want you to stay like I
would ask you to stay if we were the
conversation of we really wish the
timing were different here and we're
both bummed right that there's a clock
and she's like if we were different
people you wouldn't have to ask me to
stay like you know like it's a very
sweet moment where it's like we both
want it it reminded me of the end of
shit's creek with
Alexis and Ted I'm not going to lie I
never actually finished shits Creek oh
no spoilers which I'm not upset about
like we it's one of those shows that
like we like would casually passively
put on and I think like I got through
like two seasons and then we started
watching something else and I always
mean to go back to it yeah it's
excellent right everyone loves it yeah
it's really funny um and
wholesome uh but that's the energy is
like we love each other like we want to
be with each other and circumstances
outside of our control mean that like
love is not
enough so
um she has been talking up them having
sex on stage and later that night they
go down to the playroom and she lowkey
is starting to panic and he's
like he notices and he's like I changed
my mind I don't want to have sex with
you on
stage and she's like thank you
sweetheart like that's really sweet um I
see you changing your mind cuz you see
that I'm nervous
yeah he's he's really thoughtful he's
very thoughtful and sweet and so she's
like I just need to work up to it so she
gives him a [ __ ] in front of everyone
but they're still like in the shadows
and then he um he makes it look like
he's really forcing her like he's
grabbing her hair and like all this
other stuff um but he's not it's all for
show and um so
then he feels gross about it because
this is what they're into and he would
be doing that
anyway but he sees people thinking he's
really using her um and hurting her and
he's like
less sexy now yeah you know so less into
it when people think that you're
actually being harmed exactly but she
notices that he's like kind of
distracted and like brings him back to
the moment and
um all he can think about is how much he
loves her but he can't have her so then
um he pulls her into the throne after he
finishes and sets her in the throne and
he gets on on his knees which is like a
really big deal and he eats her out and
she's super confused and like what is
happening oh in my notes I forgot I did
this I did this for you he gives her a
blow
[Laughter]
job a that was so thoughtful thank you
for doing that for me he gave her a
[ __ ] he gave her a
[ __ ] literally it says he gives her a
BJ which is obviously amazing if Rihanna
can say it we can say it
amen that's not true at all for the
record do not quote me on that there's a
lot that she can say that we can't say
for a variety of
reasons but in this case we will quote
the great Rihanna in this case we can so
um he after she finishes he tells the
whole room that she is his and he is
hers and she's like what are you doing
like
okay
um uh and
so she knows they've talked about this
in like a like a roundabout way but this
has nothing to do with revenge on Zeus
so like in private they've talked about
their feelings like we really do
actually care for each other but
everything in the playroom is supposed
to be directly pointed at Zeus and this
wasn't and she's like
oh
okay
um
so uh he takes her back up to his
bedroom he's really clearly very very
upset um and he tells her that he won't
ask her to stay um because he knows it's
not possible but this really sucks like
it's going to hurt um and so they go
into azy like ripping each other's
clothes off
um and
uh he they're talking about like in the
future he he's like midst stroke he's
like in the future when you're with
someone else when you find someone else
um I want you to remember that no one
will ever be like I am with you um and
to think of me when you're with someone
else and she's
like please don't be cruel like that's
that was [ __ ] and he's like you don't
you don't understand like you have
ruined me and I am just returning the
favor and she's really upset about it
and so he feels awful afterwards like he
realizes he went way too far
um but she's like I mean I'm not sorry
everything you said is true it just
hurts you know so
um there's lots of concern about his
people suffering because he still has
her so her phone starts raining has her
mom turned off the food at this point
okay not like Total Blackout but really
close to it but he has a like a side
deal with Poseidon's
second okay so they still are getting
supplies that are coming through like
The Docks but the land locked stuff they
aren't getting okay so um Pan's phone
starts ringing it's her younger sister
uicy she's being followed she's really
freaking out um her boyfriend was
supposed to meet her and he didn't show
so they're pretty sure that he set her
up um yeah yeah he's like a musician and
like later they find out this is isn't
really relevant but it's pretty [ __ ]
up later they find out when he was
supposed to be meeting her at the bar
and she then is subsequently pulling a
panie running through the streets of
Olympus away from these men he's like
posting pictures on social media of him
with other
women like super gross so even if he
didn't set her up he's a dick yes so um
panie is on the phone with her and she's
just like get to the bridge get to the
river like just get to the bridge and so
um the man that's following her seems to
be hurting her there anyway um
apparently this is Zeus's emmo he like
wants people to have a taste of like
that they might be able to get away and
then like snatching it back like he gets
off on that like power
trip
so um when they get to the bridge when
panie and Hades get to the bridge to
meet her um they see that uriy is very
clearly injured and a man comes up and
pulls a knife and how like has her and
is like actively harming her and so
Hades is like you know what [ __ ] it and
he crosses the
bridge um because the same skin peely
thing happened to him no okay um a
little bit but like not as bad okay but
um he's like well just going to cause a
war destroying the treaty causing a war
right because panie is trying to cross
back over and one of his men is holding
her back and he's like she will never
ever forgive me and I might not forgive
myself if this man kills her sister in
front of her and like we could have
stopped
it so he shoots the guy in the
arm um and then just beats the ever
loving [ __ ] out of him before carrying
ridy back over um and back at the house
panie is obviously really thankful um
they've taken care of youry injuries and
she's playing with the puppies and like
just watching them together playing with
the puppies he's like no regrets like
yeah I did what was
right so but also what's the Fallout
real bad okay yeah so he tells her to
update her other sisters like they need
to also be on alert yes um and
uh yeah Pan's like I need to stay with
her you know Hades is super supportive
he's like you do whatever you need to do
um
and panie is starting to realize her
desire to leave Olympus is selfish and
really naive like to believe that she
could just run and it not cause her
sister's harm and now hades's harm yeah
was [ __ ] foolish and so she feels
awful about
it um and she decides that she is going
to fight because she doesn't want Hades
or her sister her sisters or any of the
lower City to suffer because of right
yeah so she's like well guess it's time
to [ __ ] Zeus up hell yeah yep so um
deserves it he really does not just in
this book but just
he's the [ __ ] worst so
um yeah lots of stuff happens he starts
trying to organize his people um to
prepare for the retaliation from Zeus
Hermes shows up with a message um from
Zeus that says return both girls in 13
hours or you will be
annihilated and Hermes is really sad
because she's part of the 13 which means
technically because Hades broke the
treaty she has to side with the rest of
the 13 against him and she's like
clearly really conflicted about
it so um she's like I can't do anything
to stop this Hades like you did this
yeah so um which he knows he did he knew
he knew from the jump and he chose he
chose to do it anyway um he's determined
to protect panie and his people no
matter what the cost is to himself so
then Hermes goes to panie and she has a
message from from Zeus for pranie which
is return and maybe I won't go to war
with Hades and she's
like okay like yes you will yeah you
mean this threat that you're just going
to hold over me for like forever forever
yeah well and he's been looking for a
reason
to destroy him his entire life Hades
doesn't know why Zeus hates him so much
we never find out but he [ __ ] does
and so he's just been Zeus has just been
looking for a reason um but he couldn't
because of the
treaty so um she panie sends a message
back to her mother but we don't know
what the message is okay we just know
that she's like Hermes I need you to get
a message to my mom that's all we know
so she's realizing that she loves Hades
and she has to protect him so Hermes
shows up a couple hours later with a
message from her mom and Mom just says
you have a deal we don't know what the
deal is but we have a deal so she goes
with Hermes so she leaves idy at hades's
house and she goes with
Hermes who takes her to Zeus's building
okay and um there is a party going on at
because there's always a party going on
um he gets kind of gross grabbing on to
her and telling her that she's been bad
Zeus mm okay and she just like leans
into it because she knows pictures are
being taken and so she like puts on her
fake smile does Hades know about her
plan or what's happening right now no
because she was staying with her sister
that night okay like in the room with
her sister does he know she's gone no oh
[ __ ] he has no idea yeah big yikes big
yikes he's not going to respond well to
that and he doesn't so um she goes to
her mom's and her mom tries to pretend
that she's been protecting her and that
she had had a plan for Zeus if she
married him um but to keep her from
being killed yeah basically it was like
lowkey poison but not enough to kill him
enough to keep him alive so that they
would have power over the 13 and his air
wouldn't take over but not so much to
actually kill him just incapacitate him
correct yeah um but now her mom's like
well but now he's a problem so we're
just going to take care of that little
issue her mom is a piece of work yeah
yeah we also find out her mom has been
married four times so all of her sisters
are are biological half sisters
and every single one of the marriages
was just like a power move like it's
like watching The Little Mermaid a
little bit
yeah um so
um persephanie makes a deal that Hades
will be seen with her mom at six events
throughout the year to make it look like
they're allies so he doesn't actually
have to back her on anything he just has
to look like he's backing her on stuff
because that's going to bolster her
power um
and panie knows she can never leave
Olympus now because she has promised her
mom that she's going to get Hades to
like agree to this stuff MH but she
can't risk him um and she's like
hopefully he'll forgive me and we can be
together so Hades realizes she's gone
seriously upset he doesn't know what to
do he finds a note that says that she
loves him and she's going to fix
everything and he's like the [ __ ] does
that mean like he's like no no no no no
no no no no don't go fixing [ __ ] time
out rewind because he's like fixing
things is you going to a party with
Zeus ah like I don't like this
plan so um he knows though that she must
actually truly love and trust him
because she left her sister with him to
protect her so he's like okay so that's
not
[ __ ] but like yikes but I don't like
not being included in the plan yeah big
yikes don't like it um so he takes off
to try to get her back and Hermes shows
up and he's like what are you doing here
are you here to kill me now like aren't
we at War and she's like I love that you
think that I'm here to give you a ride
get in and he's like okay so he gets in
and heres is like hey so
um uh here's a message from Deer you
have the support of more than half of
the 13 here's a gun good
[Music]
luck so panie organized an entire
alliance against Zeus with her
mother so that to give Hades an opening
to go kill
him so Hades is like well okay then well
don't look a gift horse in the mouth
correct he's like lowkey I've been
planning this for for years I have
questions about that saying as well but
that is also a conversation for another
time I think I know oh I do you want me
to tell you now actually if you know
yeah so from my understanding okay which
could be wrong is that um part of like
buying horses back in the day and maybe
today I don't know anything about horses
really is you want to check their teeth
and that's you get a good understanding
of their health based on their teeth
huh but if somebody gives you a horse it
would be incredibly rude to look at
their to look at their teeth oh yeah
thank you you're welcome very helpful
I've learned so this
podcast we need to recategorize it it's
[ __ ] educational the more you
[Laughter]
know can we get the Reading Rainbow Guy
to come and honestly what it is is that
between you and your knowledge of
General pop culture and me and my
knowledge of just random [ __ ] that's
not necessary to anything we are a
trivia
Juggernaut we do it's true so anyway um
we should also bring my husband on to
our trivia team because what I've
noticed Vance and I have very different
approaches to things especially when it
comes to trivia Vance is like there's
nothing I can't figure out if you like
give me enough time so he'll get real
like I can just like process of
my way to the
correct yes and that is not me I know
the fact or I don't I don't sit like
that is just not how my brain works so
when we play trivia together I hear the
question and I'm either like I know this
answer or I don't know this answer and
pance is like give me a few minutes
we'll get there and I'm like the [ __ ]
you feels like like like a a perfect
example of your whole relationship
though yes yes where you're like I've
got it or oh [ __ ] and Vance is like
we'll get there the man's life motto is
why worry twice there you go like 1,000%
I like that okay so back into Hades has
a gun and the blessing to [ __ ] [ __ ] up
yep so um he gets to Zeus's office and
um he hears sex sounds from the bathroom
and he's like
like oh [ __ ] like if he's hurting
panie oh [ __ ] like I'll never forgive
myself he starts to freak out but then
he listens and he's like that's not her
that's not her that's not her so he
hides and he waits the girl leaves and
Zeus comes out and then Hades confronts
him um my notes say fight scene it's a
lot I appreciate that it tells me all I
need to know yeah so Hades in the midst
of this decides that he can't kill Zeus
because that would just make him just as
bad as him um the window Shadows
shatters at some point during the
fight and he tries to get Zeus to stop
he's like listen
man yeah maybe we shouldn't and Zeus
won't listen and then just falls out of
the window like takes a wild punch
because he's so like and R adrenaline
and he doesn't realize the window has
shattered and he falls out of it so
Hades doesn't push him Hades does not
push him Hades in fact tries to catch
him he like oh but he misses um and so
um Hades is like
well
oops so he goes to leave demer per
Stephanie's mom is waiting outside the
office and she's like don't worry I'll
clean up and like puts gloves on and
he's like her mom is both
terrifying and kind of inspirational
yeah yeah like yeah I never want to go
up against her but you want her on your
team right like I feel like I would like
to get to know her but I wouldn't want
to have a relationship with
her touche you know what I mean I want
to meet her at a dinner party never yes
yes yes yes um so I want to play trivia
with
her um so he goes home he's super
depressed because he's like well now per
Stephanie is safe and she can be free
like I got to let her go so he's really
depressed because she didn't put in the
letter that she left him that she wanted
to stay with him and that's why she was
doing this right I mean she say she was
going to fix everything for everyone
which come on Hades believe in yourself
man you've had a lot of conversations
about your love for each other but we
didn't get there so but that one
sentence was missing from the letter
right so Pan's mom um comes back and
sends her back to Hades and tells her um
that they both need to be at the press
conference about Zeus's
death that's that's hades's first public
appearance with me for the year
go deal with that and P Stephanie is
like coming up with a whole plan of like
how I'm going to convince him that this
is a good idea and that he wants to be
with me and that six events a year is
not that bad and hopefully he won't be
mad and she's like going through this
whole thing and um she's just so
grateful when yeah he's just so excited
he's like she's like so I made a deal
with my mom and he's like sounds good
and she's like do you want to know the
deal and he's like you're here
he's like don't really care uh so they
go to the press conference it's really
sweet and wonderful cuz she like
deflects from him because everybody's
like ha is is real and she's like don't
worry about it like look how cute I am
like um so he asked her to move in with
him all the Declarations of love so then
we get to the epilog okay and they are
super in love everything's going great
great they do a finally they do a full
scene on stage oh um in The Sex Dungeon
and everyone is happy the end that's
what my notes
say you know yeah all right to your
point from earlier there were some plot
holes as far as just like suspending
belief about the which to Katie Robert's
credit I do imagine that's like a
delicate balance in a retelling MH right
I appreciate even the nod with the six
events right um and pomegranate as our
safe word mhm yeah yeah okay so are are
pomegranates yeah let's do pomegranates
is there anything else that we would
throw puppies puppies but I a half a
puppy feels wrong so just do no only
whole puppies are allowed here half a
pomegranate is fine though yeah you're
like how many ounces of pomegranate
juice how many pomegranate seeds they're
six
out of six I got into a debate one time
with um like my parents were like having
a dinner party with some of their
friends and they like had their kids
over who were like my also like when I
say my age I was like a freshman in
college we were not like children right
and I was debating how many pomegranate
seeds it was six yeah it was [ __ ] a
it was six I'm still pissed about this
is so spicy you're like wow no I I don't
even remember the kid's name he was like
he was 13 but he had a genius IQ and was
like a Mena member was their son and he
was like it was three I'm a Mena member
and his sisters were like you can't just
use that as your argument for why you're
right and I was like I've taken actual
like I took a whole Greek mythology
class yep in college um but he was like
no it's three seeds I'm a Mena member I
still remember that fens M like it's six
I'm like [ __ ] yeah was
six I've been saying this since the
early ODS aggressive late no the OTS the
OTS okay pomegranate seed pomegranate
seeds we're going to go out of six yep
um you know I'm going to say four that's
what I was thinking yeah cuz it's a
really enjoyable read but I feel like we
missed an opportunity with some of the
World building okay of like an
explanation for why is Olympus separate
from the rest of the world where did
these Wards come from you know yeah
stuff that isn't really necessarily
relevant to the story but this is a
series so it follows other members of
the 13 I haven't read any of the other
ones I wonder if there's more World
building like if we get more explanation
in future books right so I don't know if
that happens or if it takes away from
future stories that we don't know it it
might be totally irrelevant touche I
don't know maybe maybe a future
character does end up at UC Berkeley
maybe who can say but I actually I felt
the same just listening to the review I
was like I haven't read it but I'm
feeling I was like more than like
average like and not one where're like
it was one out of six we should have
burned it big yikes like but I was like
that really enjoyable but also some plot
holes yeah okay four out of six final
offer
um let us know what y'all think what you
would rate it mhm more or less would you
do Thrones instead of pomegranate seeds
if you tell us you would rate a any any
puppy Parts just don't puppy Parts puppy
parts please no puppy Parts but if you
recommend the second book which I think
is electric Idol um let me know cuz I
haven't read it but I will if somebody
tells me it's decent should Hannah keep
reading the series yeah keep me posted
did yeah thanks guys have a great day
thanks for listening by mlut bye well
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