I gotta take a leak. Hey, what the hell am I worried about? This joint ain't the Ritz. The whole place is a toilet.
This is the night of heavenly fright
Witches on broomsticks are up to their tricks. And poltergeists wail to the moon.
Which looks like a silver balloon Frankenstein's mustard is having a ball
Scaring the goblins right off of the wall. Bogeyman crats at our favorite guest.
And children are king and queen. They wish you a merry.
Hello, and welcome to Hello, This is the Doomed Show. I am your host, Mr. Spookies, and I am here talking to my co-host, Mr. Spookies.
That's Richard. I'm here with Mark. Hello, Mark. Hello, Richard. How are you? I'm good. I am full of barbecue.
That was probably some werewolf meat because this is our Halloween episode. What about you? Of course it is. So what I had for lunch, I had chicken and fries.
Fritz, as they're called over here. Fritz. Oh, my God. Yeah, with peanut butter sauce on the chicken. So I try to think how to make this creepy. What would that be? I guess ghoul meat, probably ghoul meat.
skeleton fingers that's what i had for i always think about there's a song as a halloween song i want maybe it's a zacherly song where he's singing about like a bunch of gross ingredients at a dinner party for ghouls and stuff so that we'll have to like reference that
at a different episode because I was not prepared. I'll wait while you look it up. Actually, that's weird that you mentioned Zachary because he's going to come up in just a little bit. That's so weird that you would mention that.
Excellent, excellent. But yeah, folks, this is our spooky-ooky time. If you choose to listen to this episode on Halloween night, your soul will be damned forever.
And if you listen to it any other time of the year, your soul will not be damned.
Choose wisely, boys and girls. Forever. Or not. Or not wisely. But yeah, this is an episode about a film called Spookies from 1986. Oh, did you say Spookies?
Yes, what did you say? I thought you had said ghoulies. These notes are not going to be any good whatsoever. I'm so sorry.
I don't even need to rewatch Ghoulies to tell you all about that movie. I love Ghoulies. Oh, my God. Oh, I meant Munchies. I'm so sorry. Did I say Ghoulies? I meant my daughter. Munchies. Munchies is funny because I thought it was the...
brilliant film when I was a kid and I tried to watch it as an adult and I could not get five minutes into it. I need to give Munchies another chance.
Doesn't that have a brutally low IMDb score? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It's pretty rough. Yeah. No, I did watch Spookies. That was my trick. Oh. Not my treat.
You are the treat. Well, thank you. Well, see, Munchies has got a higher IMDb. It's got a 3.9. I find the IMDb score is very fun.
and curious i don't like follow them really but i love to see them um it's 3.9 versus crawlers aka contamination 0.7 2.9 which folks be sure to check out the jeffrey episode where we
It's coming. I defend the crawlers. But yes, this is directed by three whole entire people. This is directed by Jeannie Joseph, also known as Eugenie Joseph.
Thomas Duran and Brendan Faulkner. This also had four writers. Oh boy. These people again, but with the addition of someone named Ann Burgund.
And another person named Frank M. Farrell. So the deal with this movie is they were making it. It was going to be called Twisted Souls. And then they had a little problem with...
The distribution slash producers and everything fell apart. So a movie that was shot in 84, supposed to be released in 85, got completely screwed up and unfinished.
Then finished by other people with some additional scenes and then put out finally as a spookies. What could go wrong? Everything. But then the resulting movie is, it's just a.
wonderful farting zombie of a time. Oh, yeah. Nothing but flatulent fun. I was talking with Jeffrey about this, the farting zombie thing, because it wasn't...
It's called like Frankie and his pals. Yes. Oh my gosh. I hadn't thought about that forever. Yes. Yes. Also had some flatulent ghouls. If I recall, I've not seen that. Yes. I believe it was.
Not Severin, but through Severin, it's called Inner Vision. Yes. Yep, and the Inner Vision, I had the DVD. Yep. Lovely, lovely. Yep. So, folks, we're going to spoil Spookies, although it's definitely one of those movies where you could listen to somebody talk about it.
scene by scene forever and you'd still have to see it you have to see spookies so strong recommend to y'all i'm going to play the trailer and don't worry
Anyone who's familiar with the trailer for Spookies, it is not going to be the three minutes of people screaming and all of the monsters. It's like a greatest hits reel of the movie. It's, it needs a voiceover guy so bad.
They thought they were having a fun time. Little did they know that they were going to fill their underwear with little spookies. What? That's...
The best I could come up with off the top of my head. Hope that's okay. Yes, it is. It's perfectly perfect. Here's the trailer. That's weird. No, no. Happy birthday, Billy.
That was the very truncated trailer. It just said Spookies coming to a theater interview. That was the only trailer. It didn't even say that. It doesn't even say Spookies. It just shows you the logo.
What it interests me is a loop of that guy going, duh, I'm Duke the horny ghost. Now, has that ever worked for you? Because that's gotten me like quite some action. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah.
multiple times a day sometimes oh boy um so i'm gonna read this i'm gonna make a mistake right now folks i'm gonna read the entire sony vhs the back of this thing is insane
This is four paragraphs. I apologize in advance now, but I think this might be important. Imagine you and your friends are paired up with your favorite dates and the night is very young. There's an old dilapidated mansion just down the road a bit near the deserted graveyard.
it would be the perfect place to party let loose lose your souls what you and your friends don't know is that inside the house lives an ancient sorcerer a master of the dark arts he has sacrificed many to give eternal life to his beloved comatose bride just a few more humans are needed
The masterful wizard is about to begin another evening of magic conjuring up a dizzying array of monstrous creatures, hellish lizards, skeletal reapers, demons, zombies, ghosts, lust, crazed muck men. First of all...
If they're lust crazed, they need to stop farting for just two seconds. That's an aphrodisiac in some countries. You were reading, go ahead. I didn't mean to interrupt. Every country, Mark. Every country.
Let's see where was I?
Hellish lizards, skeletal reapers, demons, zombies, ghosts, lust, crazed muck men, luring hags, and spider women, all driven by a blind killer instinct. Special guests will be treated to an onslaught of twisted supernatural torture until each begs to die.
Nothing you have ever witnessed before will have prepared you for the incredible special effects that make spookies the ultimate unforgettable experience of pure, unrelenting terror. Color, approximate running time, 85 minutes.
1985 Miggles Corporation, Nevada. Miggles. Miggles. Quality. Wow. Quality. Yes.
I wish I hadn't done that, but I did it anyway. That's for you, my Halloweeners. There's your treat. Yes. Real quick, we're going to talk about some of the characters here. We've got Crayon.
Or as I call him, Creon. He's actually called Creon. He's played by Felix Ward. Yes, he's the occultist. He's our magician. He's a little dry. He looks vaguely like the lead zombie from...
children shouldn't play with dead things. I used to... Okay, keep going. You're going to bother me. I like to bother you. Because I love that movie so much. Orville! Orville! Orville!
Okay, go ahead. Hey, we've got Maria Petrucas. She plays Isabel. She's our lovely bride-to-be. She's the one that he's trying to resurrect by sacrificing people. Although...
there's a moment where I think she changes actresses or just had such different makeup that I didn't recognize her for a few minutes, but based on this film's insane production. Yes.
I think it was Winona Ryder, uncredited. Yep. She just got out of jail. A little shoplifting adventure. Oh, Winona. Then we have Dan Scott. He plays Crayon Servant or the Catman.
Really not my favorite character, but he did a great job. For someone with a hook hand. Yes, he's a hook-handed cat man. Do.
And then we've got Alex Nemzer. He plays Billy, the unfortunate birthday boy. Our main character until he's not. I love him. Oh, man.
This guy, he grew up into quite a good-looking young man. He did. Yeah, once the braces came off, it was all uphill for there. Oh, man. He's got a T-shirt on freaking IMDB. It says Beatbox Champ.
But is he really? Exactly. I want to hear those beatboxing. I'll be the judge of that, Billy. Damn right. He was in one episode of General Hospital. Weren't we all?
I wish he was just short of the.
the long running character. He almost made 13,761 episodes. Fuck. We've got one of my favorite, favorite characters in this movie, a little boy named Corda.
played by A.J. Lowenthal. He's a ghoulish little boy. He's a child. Perhaps he's going to have some issues when he grows up because mom didn't know about him and dad was very proud of him. It's very scary.
How does that happen? Isn't that the other way around when like dads find out they had a kid, but like mom, you know, in the dark on this one. Yep. Yep. You know, I'm not looking at these people's careers because I don't think they did very much. Okay.
fine keep going because there are certain ones that i'm going to point out okay um i'm so excited a drifter named pat wesley brian another main character in in the movie until he's not i love that guy weirdly enough
He looks like a hipster that like stepped out of 2025. Like he's at that bar. He's got the IPA list memorized.
I was so in love with this guy just because he's just, he doesn't look like 1984, 85, 86 at all. He just looks like maybe he's like Mr. Jean jacket. I don't know. Love him.
To me, he seems like he would do Kiefer Sutherland imitations as a side hustle. And not do it well, but he would do them. Hey, anything for a buck. We got Peter Dane. They creatively named his character Peter.
I believe he's the guy in the tie and the blazer, right? That would make him Megan's boyfriend. Yes.
He and Megan, they should not have been there. They were the wrong people. None of these people should be... It's worse than Friday the 13th Part 3. None of these people would have hung out together. None of them. Exactly.
of them she even remarks i can't believe i grew up with these people neither can we clearly man because some of like peter's like 10 years older than you i thought he was like her teacher that she was having an affair with just to get a good grade
Now, Peter Dane was in a movie I suffered through once called Igor and the Lunatics. Many of the, okay, so that's what many, many, many of these people were in Igor and the Lunatics and many of them were in Day of the Dead. Wow. Yes.
Those are the two overlap movies. For some reason, many of these people were in Igor and the Lunatics, like you said, and many of them were in Day of the Dead from 1985. Weird, okay.
They were also in something called Killer Dead. It literally says this is a spiritual sequel to Spookies from 1992.
I did not know this movie existed until just a few minutes ago. Correct. I'm right there with you. Yeah. I wonder if that had production problems. Next up is Nick Gionta.
Nick plays Duke. Duke. Now, he was in Street Trash. Wow. Nice. Street Trash. That's a very special movie. That is a very special movie, yes. I've not seen the remake, though.
But yes, Duke is our kind of our, just like our macho, dork ass dude. He and Peter will not be friends. I don't think Duke could be friends with anyone. He's like a rabid dog. He's the worst.
Oh, my God. He's like head to toe and faux leather. It's amazing. Yeah, I think Toto Coelho wants their outfit back.
Suzy Quatro wants her outfit back as well. Oh, my. You mean Leather Tuscadero from Happy Days? That's who I think you mean. Leather Tuscadero. Well, Suzy Quatro was the bass player singer, right?
Yeah, I love Susie. Susie Quattro is the one who kind of lit the fire under Joan Jett. Well, yeah, because freaking Susie Quattro is beautiful. Well, yeah, she's kick-ass. She lit a lot of fires. Yeah.
She's still touring. She's on tour in Germany right now. That's crazy. Bless her heart.
We're on our way there. Next up, we got our girl from Evil Dead in that she's basically a character from Evil Dead. Her name is Carol, and she's played by Lisa Freed.
She just reminded me so much of the first lady possessy from the evil dead. She's a true dead. I.
Whose name I cannot remember, but that's Cheryl. It's me. It's your sister, Cheryl. Oh, thank you. Thank you. That's awesome. I'm two for two. Orville and Cheryl. Man, you're doing great. Then we got Linda, Joan Ellen Delaney.
who was also, of course, in Igor and the Lunatics. Bless her heart. Is she Duke's lady? Yeah, Linda. That's Linda. Linda, whose eyeshadow perfectly matched her top. Yes. Like they were the exact same color.
She's our busty lady. According to what little trivia I gleaned, the crew named her breasts Huey and Dewey or something like that. It was very inappropriate.
But bless their heart, there is no nudity in this movie. The ladies kept their freaking tops on. I'm very proud.
You know there was going to be, but they wouldn't pay her enough. You know this crack. Well, good. Stick it to the man. Yeah, but it wasn't her. I don't think it was her. I think it was one playing the bride. Yeah, yeah. She also was like, you guys can rip all my clothes off except...
The thing's covering my bits. Yeah. Next we have our Comodian. Oh, I mispronounced it. Our Comedian. This is Rich.
I love that they call him Richard. I felt a kinship with the shittiest character in the movie. Okay. Let me rephrase that. He's the second shittiest character. Aren't they all kind of Richard? I tried to figure out which ones you're referring to.
This is Peter Ayazelo Jr. And he is our comic relief. And then real quick.
He was also in Street Trash and Day of the Dead, but he was in the movie Skin Deep. Did you ever see Skin Deep? I have not seen it. I saw that director's other film. Was it St. Bernard?
It's very odd. They both are very odd, but Skin Deep is a very odd film. Yeah, let me make sure. Yes, he directed St. Bernard, which is insane.
That movie, I know Skin Deep is crazy. St. Bernard is next level. What? Wow. He's going to whip his puppet out at us. Oh my gosh. Okay. Important detail about that character. He has a t-shirt.
Of himself. And the puppet. Yep, he has the puppet. They're both on the t-shirt. That is marketing. Now, were you old enough to remember you would go to the mall? Because the picture is dot matrix from a computer.
Yes. Yeah, and it's on a jersey, like a baseball jersey. Everything about this is amazing.
Everything about this is amazing. It'd be great if he was also wearing one of those big yellow 10-gallon hats that's made of foam.
The freaking fair or something. That would have been great. Or if he just kept bringing out props the whole movie and we don't know where he's getting these props. I have my suspicions, but I don't want to be. Next up we have Megan or Megan.
written here um she's kind of like not the most interesting character she's uh she's there loves the sweater vest she does look good my favorite character however in this whole movie is adrian
Or Adrian. That's Charlotte Alexander, correct? Yes, yes. This lady is my favorite. I always love the bitchy characters. She's so funny.
She's British, like actually British. She's not putting on a fake accent for this movie. So now she was in Immoral Tales. Did you ever see that one?
Oh, my God. No, I know of it, though. I've never seen it. Yeah, she was in that one. And she was in like an Emanuel movie, like Emanuel 3. Dude, that's crazy. Yeah.
I saw Laurel Tales because Arrow Video put it out, and I was buying everything Arrow put out, and so I watched it. It's very odd. I love it. She didn't get to play Emmanuel. The role hadn't been...
stolen from Sylvia Christelle just yet. I think she played three. She played part three. She played three, number three. It was like six, six from Blossom. Yeah. Oh my God.
Speaking of freaking hilarious characters.
oh my god like how are you friends with this fucking weirdo and it goes both ways why is it awesome why is it blossom friends with six it's like kimmy gibber all over again
Holy shit. But Adrian's big thing, other than being British, she bosses around her boyfriend, Dave. Oh, bless Dave's heart. He is such a pathetic, dork-ass son of a bitch. I love him.
Yeah, he's a human. What's the word I want? Matt. A doormat. Doormat. Thank you. He's a human doormat is what he is. Yeah.
I guess another character that I really like is Sue. Oh, I'm going to mess this name up. Sue Paik. I'm going to say Sue Paik. She plays the spider woman.
She just steals the whole movie for the moment she's in the movie. She's great. And then her transformation sequence is literally a big chunk of the movie as well. So yes.
We're going to jump into this plot. We're going to skip around a little bit. Can I do one more person? Oh, please. Don't let me leave anybody out. Gabriel Bartalos. Okay.
And I only want to mention him because he was an extra in Deadly Spawn, which we have already talked about. Oh, wow. That's amazing. Flashback to our Deadly Spawn episode, which...
By the time I get to it, it might come out after this episode. We just don't know. Whoa. All right. So this movie kicks in and I am in heaven immediately.
These titles, title sequence, are awesome. The animated skull. I love the animated skull. It's so good. They show it like five times in the trailer. But the music, holy shit.
This music feels like a freaking Italian horror film.
that never existed this these guys this has two composers so i'm not sure who's the main person here they did not do enough for my taste this is james calabrese and kenneth higgins
And God bless America. I wish they'd done more. I really enjoy the music to this movie, especially this beautiful intro tune. We got a kid in the woods. We got our lost little 13-year-old boy named Billy.
Billy. And he's wandering around and he's being stalked by the Smiley Hook Man.
Okay, so... Or Kitty Baby. Kitty Baby. Does Kitty Baby not look like if you took the DNA from Barnabas Collins and mixed it with Zachary and Eddie Munster, you would get this character with a hook hand?
Yep. And like the same clothes too. Same clothes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. We get introduced to our two cars full of good time Charlies.
Man, oh man. You know what? If these morons got along better, they would totally be Good Time Charlie. It's like if Peter and Duke could get along, this would be like the ultimate Good Time Charlie movie. But literally, it opens with...
What a jerk. Because Peter is mad that they're following Duke and company out into the middle of fucking nowhere for a party. It's a party. It's just a party. There's always a party somewhere. But that's the best part.
There is no party. None. But if you believe in yourself and you bring your own alcohol. And hand puppet.
Yes. Let's talk about this hand puppet. What is his name? Mook. Which is that offensive and derogatory to someone? I think it is. Oh, hold on.
Let's, let's see. Let's, let's be accurate here. MOOC slang or what known as urban dictionary. We might get something modern. Ooh, it's an Italian American slang.
Short form of maluk or motherfucker. Oh my. A person of little social standing. One not worthy of respect. Or a term.
for a regular guy like an affectionate term and i'm pretty sure i learned this word from laverne and shirley wow i'm pretty sure
I'm absolutely confident that you did because that sounds like something that Squiggy would be throwing around. Exactly. But the puppet is like, I'm pretty sure he's made of pantyhose.
which grosses me out. And it's a grown man with a hand puppet. Okay, so how do I do this?
Now, I think I'm not your average movie watcher. I do weird things. When there's groups of people like this, I always try to figure out the dynamics.
Who brought who into the friendship? I cannot for the life of me figure out how any of these people would have known each other, would still hang out with each other. Like I cannot for the life of me put these people together at all.
No, this is a real motley crew here. This is ridiculous. We cut to our pal Crayon or Crayon.
he's got his bride to be. And one of the thing I love about it is that it's just Madonna in her, like a virgin arrow.
She made it through the wilderness. Yep. She didn't get very far afterwards, though. No, right to that coffin. Let's talk about Billy. So he meets a stranger.
in the woods and the stranger is like he can't believe this kid's 13 what are you doing out of your kid i can't believe you're 13 and uh what are you doing out here like i'm running away and he immediately figures out
that Billy's parents forgot it was his birthday. Almost like he knew.
Which I call shenanigans. Tell me that John Hughes did not see this before directing 16 Candles. It's the same frigging plot. It's 13 Candles. Right. Yeah. But yes, so as soon as...
Billy very smartly gets creeped out by this guy who's just hanging out in a tree out in the darkness. That guy gets gotten by our Catmandu.
The way the guy was, did you like I thought he would be have something to do with Creon or like he would turn to the cat guy. No, not at all. Just some creepo hanging out in the cemetery.
Billy gets a little farther in our adventure here though. He, he goes inside the creepy old house and he's like, Whoa, this place is huge. This could be a room for me here. And there is a room for him. It's the entire.
fricking dining room. Mark, what is awaiting Billy? Billy clearly is mentally challenged to some degree because he walks into this, walks into a house, doesn't knock, walks in.
there's a party set up with a giant wrapped gift and a creepy ass baby doll it's not crying it sounds like it's moaning like in pleasure yeah but he automatically assumes it's a surprise birthday party for him which i'm like
How would they know you were going to be there? How would they have gotten this house? Like the chances of all of this are so slim. He's just so excited to be celebrating his birthday there. And now in Billy's defense, I would also have had hope.
that my parents had somehow figured out where i was going because birthdays are very important to me yeah there's a great this is a great sequence i love this this is what
It's so fun about this movie with its two different directors and two different crews working on something. You get this whole other movie.
it's almost like an anthology film at this point because the whole Billy birthday bullshit is great. The doll is creepy. The robot with the sparks coming out of it is. Oh yes. I forgot. Yeah. It's so fun.
The box that's just big enough to be a head because it is a head, because clearly he's never seen Spoiler Alert 7. There's a head in the box. Yeah, it's all so weird.
So yes, he opens up the box and there's Crayon like, happy birthday, Billy. So fun. He runs away. What happens to Billy after he, well, tell me about his big getaway.
Okay, so outside is pretty much a cemetery, which means like styrofoam tombstones just kind of thrown around. Yep. And then he falls. Oh, my gosh. I remember that. Okay, so the cat guy.
This poor child actor. The cat guy literally buries him alive. But there's like, he really is throwing dirt on this kid. Oh, it's so funny. Oh my God, it's so horrifying.
Around this time, we see Corda. We're going to get introduced to Corda properly later, but Corda is this little demonic kid who looks the same age as Billy.
who might be a jawa who might have escaped from phantasm who might be copyright infringement you stole i was gonna say the jawa thing you got it yes he's either jawa or one of the little minions or whatever they're called from uh um phantasm
No. No? I said Minions, so he's from Despicable Me 2. Is that really what you mean? Banana, banana, banana, whatever the fuck.
I hate those movies so much. Oh, yeah. I'm surprised you referenced it. Okay. I couldn't resist. I said the M word. I brought it out.
Our gang of dork asses arrive. And in my notes, I wrote, how the fuck are these people friends? Exactly. They go inside the house. There's lots of debate over why is the house here?
Who's here? Who's home? Is no one home? Why is the power on? Because like Billy, they just walked right in. Yeah. Damn right. Came right in. Yeah. You got to be confident when you're urban spelunking or whatever.
This doesn't make any sense. I mean, who built a house in the middle of a graveyard like this? Might have been the other way around. Yeah, but still. Hell of a way to fertilize your lawn, eh? What the hell are we doing in a place like this? We're gonna get in trouble if we hang around here. This has gotta be private property. Don't stay.
Just leave the trouble to me. So old. We can't dance around here all night. Let's go. Somebody might live here. I don't think anyone lives here. No one lives here. It's empty.
She's right. There's nobody here. Come on, people. What, are you afraid of the dark? They go in and start to trash the place and look around. Duke's being a real Duke ass. Love him.
Now, see, I kind of do love him. Okay. Like, I kind of do. I think it was when we kept seeing his hairy back crack that won me over. I think you do love him.
I do glove him. I think I do glove him. Yeah. Whoa. They find a Ouija board and they find a Ouija stick that looks like it would be very dangerous to, to stab somebody with.
Oh, the Cate Blanchett? Yes, yes. They start doing their... Did you say the Cate Blanchett? No, I did. I said the Cate Blanchett. Thank you. That's amazing. Thank you.
Now I want to watch Manifesto. Oh, let me see. Manifesto. IMDB.
Yep, it's Cate Blanchett playing 13 different characters, each one reading their manifesto they're famous for. See? It's a little talky. If you can believe it. If you can believe it. Anyway.
Why have I seen that? Cut to you wearing a Cate Planchette t-shirt and the Cate Planchette poster behind you. They need to have a special Cate Planchette Ouija re-release of the game.
Can you imagine? I'd buy it. That'd be so fun. As we're dealing with this Ouija and it starts predicting the deaths of everyone there, it's a great sequence. I love it. It's so fun. All of a sudden, Carol seems to have all the details.
about how all of this works. She knows too much. How does she transform and what does she transform into, Mark? Very quickly for listeners out there in TV land.
She looks like to me, if you took Linda Blair and Carrie Fisher and the actress who plays this same character from the Amityville horror movie.
and mix them up that's what carol looks like so she becomes possessed and she the makeup to me is like almost a spot-on deadite from the evil dead like richard said earlier like when she gets possessed the sister she looks just like that
Yeah. You can kind of tell based on the quality of the makeup that maybe it was the same person who did the cat man. I get vibes. Yes. Yeah. Just the way it looks on camera, not the design. Yes. Yeah.
Oh man. But yeah, she goes crazy, starts going wild. People are very confusing in this film. I think they're confused. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone gets separated and people act so dumb.
Oh my gosh. Yes. They forget they're in danger and remember they're in danger and just shit like it's crazy. Duke is the worst. I'm going to say Duke is the worst. This must happen to him all the time. I guess so.
Because he's like, let's go down to the basement and have sex. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, my God. Of all the things you're going to do.
Oh, my God. But really quick, I do like when she becomes possessed that she knocks Richard out cold, which I'm like, I put thank you for that because I just cannot stand his character at all.
People try to do it to me all the time. They just need a break. I'm too much. It's that hand puppet. They look at me for every time people meet me for the first time. They're like, wow, you must be a podcaster.
But they don't mean that in a nice way. Cut to you with your dot matrix picture of you on your shirt. Dude, I'm telling you, I am very tempted. I am tempted. Do it. Do it. Dot matrix, do it. I'll Duke matrix it.
you know the weirdest things happen to me Elvira mistress of the dark I mean here I am stocking up for Halloween I got mistakes got my ribs then when I asked the stock boy where the Coors light is back he points me to the Coors and Coors light Halloween display
And I'm on it. Whoa, it's like deja vu. Whoa, it's like deja vu. Look for it where you buy beer. I shop here because they flash prizes. There goes another one. Happy Halloween, darling.
Down in the basement, when Linda says, I am not horny right now, Duke, leave me alone. They get some special guests. Tell me about their very unique guests. So they've got these, which I'm going to say, okay.
If you would turn down the volume or substitute it with different music, I think it would actually be kind of a scary, as far as this movie goes, a scary setup. But no, these monsters in the cellar are actually flatulent.
And it's not even convincing. It's like someone's doing it off, like right off the camera with their mouth. It's so stupid. I watched.
With the Vinegar Syndrome release, there's a whole feature-length movie about the making of this movie. It's crazy. I couldn't finish it. It's crazy. And was it like the producer's idea? Like, the directors didn't want this. Someone else thought it would be really funny.
No, they were upset. They were upset with all the changes, which were massive. Yeah. And this one I think was particularly insulting because like you just said, it totally works as a scene.
Oh yeah. Movie. And you know, what's funny is I remember it differently every time. Cause like, this is like my third viewing, I think. And my 30th.
Nice. I just remembered it just being like a thing that happens once or twice, not over and over again through the entirety of the scene. It's so stupid. It is so stupid. And then eventually...
The girlfriend, Duke's girlfriend has to break open a giant like wine barrel and the wine causes them to just melt.
Yes. And make fuck noises as they melt. Yeah. He goes, what? Because one of them falls in a puddle and immediately melts. So she, I love, I love the effects here. She cracks open the wine barrel.
with this hatchet that was in the basement. She busts the hole in the wine barrel and there's a split second before the actual liquid comes out. Right. Oh, that made me smile. I love that.
Well, because it was so old it was at the back of the barrel. Yeah, there's a film. And it had time to get to the front of the barrel. Wine drinkers can tell you there's always a film. It's like the wine sack in a barrel.
That's so unappetizing. It's like that weird globule that covers a baby. It's like that.
Okay, so I wrote in my notes, Adrian and Dave, couple of the year. This is when we get to see... adrian like just totally stomping all over dave's testicles um and that's literally happens in this movie pretty much it's it's figurative she's just berating him and like making fun of him and he's like
doing these like really sad, pathetic attempts to stand up to her, which she does not impressed by at all. It's so good.
But they're also like, she's like, I'm so comfortable on this. It's a gross foldout couch in this creepy ass house. Lietta literally pointed that out. She's like, what is she doing on that?
And of all characters, she would not be the one to be comfortable on that. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh my God. This is like most snooty, snooty jerk girlfriend character ever.
Oh, my God. So then we have our couple here are attacked by what are they attacked by? I call it the spooky puppet. It's not not mook.
Not Moo. No, no, no, no. To me, it's almost like the Fiji Merman brought to life. That's exactly. You and Lietta should do this episode. She totally called it. She's like, are those Fiji Mermaids? They are totally that, but they...
And I don't mean this in a bad way, but they they look like they would have escaped from a Charles Band film. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's one part where it like undulates underneath the fold out couch bed thing. And that's pretty creepy.
Yeah, the tail wagon was pretty sick. I liked it. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. The teeth, there's close-ups, which they should not do because the teeth bend, and teeth don't bend like that.
That was the money shot they should have left on the cutting room floor of all the things to keep in the movie. That wasn't it.
And I think one's eye kind of moves more than the other one's. Like he has two eyes, but one moves way more than the other one. So he's got like a lazy eye or something going on. So, so we don't, we don't see Dave kill. Dave is, he's like laying down. And when she tries to like wake.
him up he's got his face all slashed and he's dead and then of course adriana sadly gets bitten and she's like dying unfortunately she doesn't die here she has a much worse fate
That is pretty amazing later. The moment I want to point out is Richard pees in the fireplace.
And I don't think that scene was long enough because that scene was making me laugh just because like, wait a minute, this whole place is the toilet.
Oh, my Lord. Which is what all the citizens of Tampa say all the time. Hey, you sure you don't want to come back to America, Mark? I might be joining you soon. Okay, come on over. Come on over.
With my hand puppet. I knew that was happening. So let's see. I don't want to get this too mixed up here. I guess it doesn't fucking matter. Oh, here we go. Then Adrian does get killed. So she gets killed by the most.
elaborate monster and i don't know what the hell it's supposed to be right yeah there's some of these things where it's like they look good don't get me wrong they're fun they're cool i would almost like to have seen illustrations
Yes. Yes. But yeah, she does meet her match at the hands of this weird creature. And then her face gets melted off. But now, OK, what I do like about this, though, is it starts with the dark corridor and David's at the other end.
calling to her yeah and then of course you know he's not david he's this creature thing so i thought that was a cool setup too see there's a good movie buried in all this insanity oh yeah well it's also good
Tell me about Richard versus the Spider-Woman. I think this is the real version of Kiss of the Spider-Woman. It truly is. Okay, so given where they're at, and you enter this room full of giant spiderwebs.
would you not be like, this is going to be where I meet my maker? But oh no, he follows this, this, does the character, I don't think the character really has a name. She's just this Asian woman that pops up. Yes.
She lures him to her den of webs and then turns into a pretty cool spider, except I can't figure out. Everything happens from her head. Yeah. It's like, huh?
So basically she turns into a giant spider, but I'm like, is her body still attached to the bottom of the spider? Or is it just a giant spider? Unclear.
Because it would be, to me, way unnerving to have this giant spider still attached to that Asian lady's body.
But it's kind of moist and ooky and like the legs come out. Like the head thing is pretty cool because it cracks and separates and then the giant like spider legs come out and everything.
Yeah, but clearly Richard's a moron. Richard and Billy might be relatives because they are both equally stupid. Boy, howdy. Just think, Billy could have grown up to be a Richard.
He could have. The thing that cracks me up here is, you know, points, good points for having an Asian actress, you know, but then they lose some points for the attempts at the Asian music on the soundtrack.
She's also dressed like a traditional Asian person with a silk dress. Yeah, like a character out of a freaking... Like Charlie Chan. Yeah, oh boy.
She got to work. She got to have a nice, a nice scene. And she's never done anything else ever. That sucks because she's great. Yeah. Yeah. I do like when she sucks Richard dry. That cracks me up.
There's a Grim Reaper for some reason. I love it. Okay, so really quick, one Halloween, to scare me, Walter bought a giant life-size, it looks just like this thing, but it didn't have the... No way.
Actually, if you scroll back to my old Instagram account postings, you'll see Kenneth in a couple of them. But anyway, so automatically, as soon as I saw this, I'm like, oh my God, Kenneth. And I hope he's happy because he's still in the States. Someone bought him.
just like kenneth yeah he looks just like kenneth so shout out to kenneth oh i love it but again this is a cool effect too like the monster effects are really cool yeah he starts off as like a statue yes
And then he comes alive and like you can see his heart through his ribs and it's pretty cool. So one of the weird things about this movie is Billy had an ice pick.
yeah he sure did and somehow the bride who has been she finally is standing up to crayon she's like i don't want to be with you bro why'd you bring me back from the dead i was like asleep dude
Yeah, she's like, I'll just kill myself like I did the first time or whatever. Yep, exactly. She flees from him and she finds the ice pick and now she's armed. But she's being pursued by...
like a giggling banshee creature or something. Which I love because you can see the puppeteer behind it in some scenes.
I miss that. I love it so, oh no, you could totally see the puppeteer crouch behind it, which made it even better to me. Because I want her attacked by this with the puppeteer behind, like, do you know what I'm saying? Like in her reality, it's the monster and that puppeteer behind.
So while she's going through her whole thing, and I swear it's two different actresses. Meanwhile, Crayon is hanging with Corda, which I thought was very sweet. He's spending some quality time with his son. And then Mark, I need you to tell me what happens. Excuse me.
I need you to tell me what happens when they run out of movie and decide to spend a little too much time with the zombies. So she ends up making her way out of the house into the graveyard where...
Pretty much in my mind, everyone they knew, they're like, hey, would you be a zombie? Because they don't look like they were just like they like they got like running clothes on and tennis shoes. Like they do not look like they were just buried.
They look like they may have been told they were going to be in Michael Jackson's thriller, but that was just a ruse. And it goes on forever. It does.
She's writhing and they're ripping off her bridal gown. And then this is when Walt said, I think that someone has seen Return of the Living Dead because...
To me, it was just like a matter of time before she got completely nude. But again, she wouldn't do that because they wouldn't pay her enough. But you could tell that's where they were going with this. Yes. But like it goes on forever. Like I think.
what's the runtime in the movie? I think 30 minutes is just her writhing around with these zombies. Like it goes on and on and on and on and on.
That's the only thing I could complain about is this. It just, it's, it's not that this isn't cool stuff. It's just the, the pacing of this part is way off. And this is a 85 minute movie. I just realized what.
could have filled that time mark anything no a fucking music video this needed a band
who decided to do the Spookies theme song. And as she's running from the zombies, the band comes out of the grave and starts playing. Spookies, spookies, you're getting spookified.
Spookies, spookies, cover your eyes. Trademark. Yeah. No, that would have been great. That would have been amazing. Amazing. But yes, we got what we got.
but let's not leave let's not leave our friends our good time charlie's the the three remaining survivors we got injured linda we got megan and we got um
the Peter. It's Diane. Diane. Diane's the one that got hurt by the Reaper. Oh God. I've been calling her Linda. She's losing blood. She's losing blood. All right. And then got her with the sickle. They're going to stop.
good old crayon by like doing some magical shit but the everything's going crazy and they're aging too fast yeah it's very beetlejuice is to stop him and then That's when our bride stabs good old guy in the head.
And it breaks. So it's like adding insult to injury. Like the, the ice pick goes in his cranium and then she snaps off the handle. So the big part is still his head. Oh my God. That's so horrifying to me. Which I'm just like, that's good.
But I think it would have been funnier to just have that ice pick stuck in his head the rest of the movie. Oh, yeah, that would have been. Yes, I agree with you. I don't even remember what happens at the end. I have no clue. Does he jump out of the grave or something? Are you being serious or are you being silly?
I didn't write anything down. Oh, no. Okay, buckle up, people, because there's twist after twist after twist. Please. So she's running. The bride is running from the zombies and ends up at a station wagon.
Oh, yes. Okay. And she's getting in and I can't figure out if she doesn't know how to operate it because she's afraid or because like back in her time, there wouldn't have been.
Vehicles. I'm like, I don't understand. But out of nowhere, this guy shows up and she slides over, gets in the car, and they drive away. Well, then that becomes like a twist because doesn't he turn into the cat guy? He does. He does.
And then out of the ground pops up Creon and laughing. And then that's your act. Yeah, there you go. Hey, I watched this two days ago. That's a lifetime. So I want to say this. So Don Coscarelli.
Independent film, he gave us Phantasm. These guys gave us Spookies. It to me seems like just a weird twist and Phantasm could have been Spookies and Spookies could have been Phantasm.
Does that make sense? I love it. You just happen to have, like, you kind of knew what you were doing and you had a little bit more stuff at your hands and you end up with Phantasm.
But these guys, something just went a little awry and we got spookies. That's so fun. Yeah, I like that. Some trivia before we...
Talk about how we like this one and move on with our other Halloween festivities. Apparently the executive producer, Michael Lee, everyone hated him.
and uh they talk massive shit about him through the whole freaking documentary
And that's saying a lot because don't forget we had Duke and then Mook's owner, Richard. So for them to hate someone more than them, that says a lot. Yes. You can actually watch the Twisted Souls just by itself.
originally shot it's on youtube it's like 59 minutes or 58 minutes and it's just all of the stuff with our our good time charlie's there's none of the bride stuff i don't think in the uh in the original shot and none of the stuff with billy
All that stuff was added later. The cinematographer, that's what I want to talk about. Hello. One of the cinematographers on this went on to work in some major films.
He started off his career as a camera and electrical department guy on Last House on the Left, the OG. But then he went on to film Harvey Keitel's penis. Didn't we all? In Bad Lieutenant. We all had a hand in that.
Wow. Now tell me, though, just real quick, would not Last House on the Left and Bad Lieutenant make the perfect Christmas watch?
You got the family together and you're like, you know what? It's festive time. Let's watch these two films. Let's see if grandma can survive this.
He also shot the wonderfully pretentious vampire film The Addiction. Oh yeah, that's a goodie. He shot a film that I like. I'm not a big fan of it, but I like it, called Big Night.
with uh stanley tucci that was uh that was uh stanley tucci's co-directing gig before he did one of my favorite movies of all time called the imposters
But yeah, Big Night, Stanley Tucci, and Tony Shalhoub. It's very fun. Very fun movie. Highly recommend it. But he also shot a movie that I always associate with Cemetery Man because one night in the 90s...
my parents and their stolen cable. I was watching, I was, I was looking at the upcoming playlist for that night's movies on whatever HBO Cinemax or something. And there's two movies back to back. One was called the funeral.
from 1996 and the other one is called cemetery man and i didn't know what either of these movies were but i set the tape to record and i either went to work because i was working nights or i went to bed because i was tired
And boy, was I surprised. The funeral is a good movie. It's like a gangster story.
Okay, that's one I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not familiar with that one at all. It's Chris Penn, Christopher Walken, Vincent Gallo, Benicio Del Toro. Lots of good people. It's a solid, kind of dour gangster movie.
And I watched it, and I was like, okay. And then Cemetery Man started playing, and I had no clue what I was getting into. You know, I'd seen the most...
recent Italian horror movie I'd seen at that point was trauma directed by Dario Argento. Okay.
And that was back when I didn't really know what a giallo was. I just barely knew who Argento was. And here I am watching one of the greatest Italian horror films of all time, just randomly playing.
On cable. And I had that tape. And I would never watch the funeral again. But boy howdy. I watched Cemetery Man over and over. I loved showing it to people. And it was so crazy and so good.
It's amazing. Yep. But yeah, that cinematographer went on to do a lot of stuff. He also filmed a Schooly D music video. I will not say this.
the name of this out loud that's not something that's not something white people say uh but yes it's very very interesting career that guy had um
None of the people that worked on this in the directing and writing capacity went on to a lot of stuff though. Like they did some things, but yeah, I wish that spookies had been a better experience and they had gotten like.
their careers had taken off because this shows a lot of promise. You can tell that this is made by someone who are people that love what they do. Not the actors per se, but like the, like the, the creature effects.
makers and stuff and the makeup and everything, you could tell that they loved it.
To me, if they had been presented just a little bit differently, a lot of the creatures seem like they could have come from like Tales from the Dark Side or the TV show Monsters. Yeah, yeah. There's some really cool concept stuff going on.
Sorry, my cat is distracting me. It must be a spooky night on Halloween. All these Day of the Dead people and Frankenhooker. Have you ever seen, it's called Cemetery of Terror.
Ruben Galindo Jr.? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I love that movie. Yes. But now there's something about this that reminds me of that. I'm not saying they ripped it off. That's not what I mean. But there's just something about it that reminds me. Like, to me, I would pair these in a weird way.
Oh, man. Well, they're kind of contemporaries. This was supposed to come out, I think, the same year. There's just something about the feel of it, like the group of people. The other one's actually Halloween night, if I'm not mistaken. It is, absolutely.
But just something about like, and like the kind of like the level of the effects and stuff. I don't know. I just think they pair really well. Yeah. I would watch spookies first though. And then cemetery. Absolutely. Well, you know, you, you want to.
You want to save good old Hugo Stiglitz as the main course. Right.
But yeah, no, I love this movie. I wish I'd seen this as a kid. I would have been totally amazed by this and all of the weird shit that an adult thinks about.
as far as like structure, pacing. I wouldn't have noticed at all. I would have just loved this movie. I like the, the cheap effects that are either cheap or super elaborate, depending on.
like where you are in the movie. Yep. Love how they kill the kid and the crazy logic and the self-awareness, like the silliness I like, but I also wish that they hadn't had to do that stuff.
There's some genuinely eerie moments. Do you remember when they find the lady that's hanging from the rafters? Yes. They find the lady who was one of the other.
people who was trapped in the house and she chose to kill herself. Right. Yes. Orps is hard to look at. It's very upsetting. Yeah. But I recommend watching this with a bunch of pals. Absolutely a party movie.
Mark, how do you feel about this movie, though? So to me, it feels like if you were able to capture a nightmare on film, and I don't mean it's scary, but I mean it's like it doesn't...
Quite makes sense, but you have to go with it. You know what I mean? And there's like these little, like you said, little glimpses of like kind of genuinely creepy moments. And if you're at all like a creature feature fan, I think there's a lot to love here.
It may not be super successful, but a lot of the creatures are really fun. I'm just going to reiterate, it seems like it was really made by people who are into this. Like it wasn't, they just threw a bunch of money at some guy who'd never done horror and he didn't really care about it.
Yeah, it's got its shortcomings, but it's still really, really fun for what it is. Great. I agree. And I'd like to add that if you watch it with your friends, one of them must come with a hand puppet.
Everyone should bring their own MOOC. Yeah, bring your own MOOC. Carving your own Halloween pumpkin can be a lot of fun for grown-ups.
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a new segment here before we, before we get into our, our Halloween recommendations or our spooky ooky time recommendations. This is the perfect time to introduce a segment we like to call.
All about Joan. All right, my dear. Let me tell you something totally radical. Collins, that is.
Collins, that is. That's what it's called from now on. Tell us about the selection you have chosen to discuss from the filmography of the great Collins Joan.
Collins Jones so they're okay so Richard there's so many to choose from like I don't think people realize
that this woman has like, she is a scream queen in her own right. And I don't think people realize this because it mainly took place like in the seventies for the most part. Sure. She did like some really cool, like anthology horrors.
like Fear in the Night's awesome movie. She did Dark Places, Empire of the Ants, not to mention the two Jackie Collins movies she did. Her sister wrote like The Bitch and the Stud and she starred as...
Fontaine. Fontaine Khalid, I believe it is. But the one I want to talk about, and I've...
I've mentioned this before, I think, on the show, but whoever programmed the movies for my local TV channels, God bless them. I want to meet them and hug them because they changed my life.
I love it. So there was a movie that came on and like we're talking like probably probably aired like between like 76 to 78. So I would have been like probably like 10 maybe.
And I was old enough to have not seen The Exorcist, but I knew that they were kind of doing their own take on like demon possession, which terrified me as a child. So the movie is got a couple names. There's I Don't Want to Be Born.
It was also known as the monster or Sharon's baby, which I find most disturbing because her character, Joan Collins, is not named Sharon at all.
So I don't know whose baby would be possessed if it would have been Jones Collins. Yeah, because it wasn't her. But what's great, there's so much that's great about this.
She's Joan Collins. Like she can never not be Joan Collins. So she's got that like kind of like I'm better than you and I'm cooler than you. But she played this dancer who's now met like a wealthy Italian man. And when she was a dancer.
There was a height challenged small person named Hercules who hit on her at the club. And she like, you know, kind of put him in his place as only Joan Collins would do.
And she ends up having a baby who is just a baby, Richard. Like it's the cutest baby in the world. No matter when they cut to it, no matter what it's supposed to have done, the baby was not in on what like was happening at all.
So it's just wonderful. There's lots of like people screaming, people dying, cut to a baby with like a little bit of blood on its mouth, like looking happy as can be. But not only do you get Joan Collins, you also get.
Donald Pleasance as a doctor, but before he was Dr. Loomis in Halloween. Yes. You get him. You also get the ever beautiful, like to me, they're like competing with each other. Caroline Monroe. Yes.
Yes. She's her friend, Mandy, who's also a dancer at the club.
I do love, though, that like, OK, as it plays out, we find out that she's married this Italian man and she's living the high life now and everything. But it had only been nine months ago that she was at the club.
But you would have never guessed that. Like you thought it took like 20 years. She just married and all this and suits her just fine. Now we don't get a priest here, though. We get a nun who is played by Eileen Atkins.
Oh, she's good. Sister Albana. Oh, my God. Like this is a kick ass nun. Like this is these are the nuns that taught me. These are the kind of nuns that gave me my education in grade school. Yeah, it's just.
So 70s, you've got her smoking and drinking with the baby. You've got ugly brown patterns on everything.
The strip club numbers are amazing because they're just so lackadaisical. Like no man would stay and watch this because they'd be bored. It's just wonderful. And like the baby is like dragging people like into like.
the sewer system and like hanging people and drowning them. And it's like a baby. It's so wonderful. The director, it's Pete, uh, SAS D.
Peter Sazdy. He's the guy behind Countess Dracula and Hammer films. Hands of the Ripper. He also did...
Doomwatch, which I know some people think it's too slow, but I love Doomwatch. I've always been curious about that one. I love that one, and he did the stone tape, which I think is amazing. Scary, yeah.
Again, it's someone who knows horror who's behind this film. And I know it sounds like you probably shouldn't waste your time with it, but you definitely should and you will not regret it. It's amazing. I love this movie. I love it.
um i saw it i think turner classic movies underground played it i had never heard of it before and i managed to record it on dvdr and proceeded to show it to lots of people because i thought it was so crazy i think
John Steiner is in that as like her old boyfriend from her stripper days. Oh, with the mustache. He's a hottie. I'm like, I would have not.
Yeah, I would have not left my husband for this. Like I would have been with this guy no matter how skeezy he was. No joke, dude. He's so good looking and like that rascal-y kind of like evil.
like sleazy guy but you get to hear him not dubbed for a change actually to hear his british accent because when he was in italy he was always dubbed so far as i know
It's pretty awesome. I also like the fact that she thinks it might be his baby. She doesn't even know. So she invites him back to see the baby. And he's like, well, let's get it on before we see the baby. She's like, no, my baby's demonic. We're not going to have sex.
Dude, I'm so glad you're talking about this. I can't wait to get my DVD of this out again and watch it. I love it. Oh, it's so good, people. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. And that was all about Joan Collins, that is.
So, but Mark, before I let you escape into the night to finish off the spooky ooky punch bowl and dance the, what is that? Dance of the Dead, the Dancing Cobb.
Dead, the Monster Mish. Oh, the Monster Mish. Yeah, because we don't want to get in trouble, so we're doing the Monster Mish. Tell me about a recently seen and loved spooky movie. Can be a...
old favorite or a first time watch what do you got okay again you can edit this out but i want to do two things but i'll do them super fast oh i'm going to edit them twice all right so the first
The Facts of Life, which I know you don't think is scary, people. But on Wednesday, October 26, 1983, Season 5, Episode 6, The Halloween Show.
The girls believe that Mrs. Garrett is killing people and serving them up in her famous, I think they're like sausage links or something. Yeah, they're like kielbasa or something. But it's amazing. Bratwurst.
Yes. And I had taped it and it became like a Halloween tradition in my house for years.
It's really clever. I know it's the facts of life I'm trying to sell this, but it's really clever for what it is. And folks, I think you would have fun with it, especially if you need something like gateway horror, like, you know.
younger kids can't handle like you know what sallow this would be the one to show oh boy really fun now probably the same guy who programmed
I don't want to be born also introduced me to let's scare Jessica to death. Oh boy. Okay. So people complain it's like slow. I do not find that. I find it atmospheric. I find it creepy as all get out.
Zora Lampert, the only other thing I ever saw her in was in Exorcist 3 from 1990. But I love the actress.
True, she looks like the woman from Cagney and Lacey, but it's not her. It's just so creepy, and it's very much a 70s film. You've got that whole open relationship kind of thing.
The way they handle her mental stability issues is very much of the time. And you don't know what it is. You still end up watching the film and you don't quite know what the antagonist was. And it's great. Man.
It's so good. You summed that up perfectly. I have no notes other than I also saw that when I was very young.
on tv and it just planted that seed in my mind of appreciating these kinds of movies oh yeah it's it's fantastic it really is folks if you if you want to kick up the uh the me generation bullshit and cut down on the seriousness check out two films savage weekend oh yeah or dark august
both of those movies have that similar like i just want to get back to myself kind of a vibe oh it's so fun i love ladies doing it for themselves y'all
Thank you, Aretha. For me, a favorite that I love to watch with Lietta around this time of year, it is not a Halloween movie, but it has a costume party that's very Halloween-y.
And it is called The Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow from 1959.
That is in that book I was talking about earlier with you, Fright Fest. They mentioned it. Yes. It is in there. Yes. That's awesome. It's a little hard to find. Last time I checked, it was still out of print. It was on one of those.
midnight movies compilations, or it might've been, I don't know if it was a double feature or if it was a by itself, but if you can get a copy of.
Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow. Highly recommend it. It's very zany, very kooky. It's real stupid, but it's all wholesome and just corny. It's just really corny and Scooby-Doo-like.
At the same time, I find it wonderful. All of the dialogue with its...
you know, adults trying to translate what these crazy drag racing kids are talking about is very, very entertaining. The songs are fun.
And there's this one girl who stands out like a sore thumb in the movie. She's like six foot tall, nerdy, but sort of looks a little like if, um, Vampyra went like legit.
Oh, that's amazing. You sold me. Yeah, absolutely wonderful movie. And that's it, folks. We are hoping you have a wonderful Halloween time. Hopefully...
The things under the bed sheets aren't just ghosts. They're also...
Genitalia. I don't know. I don't know where I was going with that. But genitalia with googly eyes glued to them. Happy Halloween, everybody. Don't put that in the punch bowl. Don't you dare.
Yeah, I spiked it. It'll sting. Don't do it. But I hope you all have a black cat for each of your Cadillacs that you're driving to the graveyard in.
And make sure you bring some gas X for the fricking zombies down in the basement. Yes.
And don't forget to give out UNICEF or McDonald's gift certificates. They're the best trick or treat ever. The kids will definitely not be back in five minutes to destroy your lawn. Not at all. I have raisins. Oh.
You know what I like to call raisins? Nature's fruit. I've been called that. Oh, my God. That's so weird. Ladies and gentlemen, Mark, nature's fruits.
And I want to stop recording. I'm going to stop it. It's got to stop sometime.
Folks, thanks so much for listening to this episode. If you'd like to write into the show...
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