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And welcome to another episode of the Crucible Conversations for the Curious.

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It's good morning from me and it's good evening from James because I'm chatting with him
from New Zealand.

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James and I got chatting recently and he is a storyteller.

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He is a songwriter and a producer from the other side of the world.

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And he has got a remarkable story of being wise when it came to all sorts of things.

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Unlike me, who went head first into

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into chaos and drama.

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James spotted things in his life and he's got a remarkable tale.

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So James, thank you so much for turning up today.

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I really appreciate this.

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No worries Hamish, thank you for the invitation.

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Lovely.

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Can you please tell me a bit about your story and how you make sense of life?

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Because I think it's quite an interesting approach.

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So, born and raised in Sierra Ham.

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Parents separate when I'm six.

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I'm on the autism spectrum so I have to try and navigate life which, that on its own is
tough.

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And then, throughout life I struggled with mental health, anxiety, depression, and trying
to find a way to...

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make things make sense.

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So I started writing things down, playing music.

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I would be in a few different underground and independent projects and all of that trauma
and all of that stuff that I went through, even as an adult, has brought me to a place

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where I'm now releasing my first studio album, Lost and Found, as a solo artist.

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and I've been able to overcome all of that personal stuff to find hope and joy in all of
the seasons that life brings, including the hard ones.

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There's lots to dive in there.

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Tell me how being on that autism spectrum has made life complicated for you.

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I know, know, on discussions before going live, you said it was, it's made your life
difficult, it's made it interesting, it's made it illuminating because you just see things

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differently.

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So explain to me how.

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Growing up, that made your life complicated.

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sure things so when I was growing up it was understand trying to understand why games at
school were played a certain way or trying to be creative or trying to put myself out

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there is sometimes I didn't quite feel like I was part of the equation got better at that
over time and thankfully had a very good group of friends

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who we saw at kindergarten went right into Deanna High School and they would help me out a
bit.

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As I got older and you get the other emotions in, becomes who am I?

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Where do I belong?

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What is this feeling?

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I don't like myself right now.

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I want to lash out.

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I want to do all these things.

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And that was tough, but...

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The autism spectrum has also blessed me with a different ability on creativity and being
able to look at music and songwriting and creating things a lot more differently, which

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has been very beneficial in my life.

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It still causes headaches once in a while, but my toolbox is a lot more refined now
because of that creative side.

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Had it not been for that, I would have been in massive trouble.

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Hmm.

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Okay, can you...

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So tell me a little bit about these tools that you have collected to help you make sense
of things.

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You've mentioned this lashing out and obviously there was anger and frustration at some
things.

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So how did you spot these problems?

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How did you manage to make sense of them and turn them around to not have to react badly,
but to be able to respond and make sense of things?

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So one of the things is breathing in and breathing out and taking a stop for a second to
let myself assess the situation even when there's a time constraint.

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Part of it is writing in my journal, which is how these songs came about for the solo
album.

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Part of it was just painting, playing guitar, getting somewhere creative.

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having that good support network I can talk to, good counselling and ultimately just
continuing to move forward which is the tricky part right because when you're in that dark

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place you want to say that you don't think there's any hope that as hard as it is putting
one foot in front of the other and taking those steps forward just like how a river runs

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that's how you get through.

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It's not always easy and the answers that worked for me may not work for someone else
watching this but that's what helps me get through it and it's just one day at a time be

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here at the moment.

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Fab.

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So tell me about your writing, because obviously, you know, writing the words, writing the
music, writing the songs has been a tremendous outlet.

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How have you used that to make sense of stuff, make sense of life, make sense of not
feeling you can fit in and things like that?

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Yeah, so with the writing I've done bits of it on and off as a kid Some of it would make
you think wow This 10 year old he he kind of has issues But As I got to 16 17 I started

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writing a bit more seriously Studying songs not just as a music lover, but as a music

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player.

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I'd taken some guitar lessons and some piano lessons.

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I'd tried figuring out the other stuff on top of the basics for myself by learning to play
by ear, going to jam nights on a Monday night at the Future Tierra Sense where I now work.

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And I just started using that as a way to try and put the pieces together in my own mind
that

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didn't quite seem to fit and wouldn't fit any other way.

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I basically started using those instruments as a way to talk.

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And as I said, went into several underground projects and several things that no longer in
my life, but they helped me get to this point.

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And it was not long after my dad passed away.

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that I actually started revisiting that sort of mindset after having a few problems of my
own and trying to navigate them.

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So when it comes to writing, it's more or less just me trying to communicate and figure it
out for myself.

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Some of these songs that I've put out over the years and even on here, it was never
planned.

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It's just me trying to figure it out and now

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I hope that other people can use those songs to help them out.

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I love that creativity and that way that we can tap into it.

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I remember when I left university before I'd managed to get a job, I would wander around.

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was very frustrated and I wrote poetry and I read it now and it puts the hairs on my back
up and it's frightening.

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It really is just that.

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that rawness and that not rage or anger, but just a lack of understanding what's going on
and trying to make sense of things.

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So I'm really looking forward to listening to your album.

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I know you shared me a few songs which I really enjoyed.

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So I think I'm really looking forward to that.

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So winding back, I mean, you said you had a great group of friends and lot of support,
which obviously is incredibly important and helpful.

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How did they, I want to say look after you, but that's not quite for us.

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How did they sort of support you when you found things difficult?

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Well, one of the things they did, which I found helpful, maybe not necessarily at the
time, was they would call me out on my rubbish.

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They would go, hi, you're starting to push the limits a bit.

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And they would include me in what they were doing, even if I had trouble trying to figure
it out or understand it.

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They were patient.

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They tried to teach me.

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They try to teach me sports as well, but we don't talk about that because it was pretty
bad.

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There's a couple of Olympians I went to school with and I'm still bad.

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But they would be patient with me.

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They would tell me if I was getting close to that line or if I'd gone over it.

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For my 15th birthday.

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They were originally planning an intervention on my mental health because it was the first
time it was getting really out of hand and they were getting really concerned so they'd

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made an arrangement of some kind to go, hey, happy birthday, by the way, this is an
intervention, we are worried about you.

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It thankfully didn't come to that because I was able to figure it out mostly on my own.

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But even when I was having blue days and dark days, they would just sit with me in the
storm.

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Even if they didn't know what to say or what to do, they would just sit there and talk
with me through it and I could not have been more thankful for that.

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It helped keep me alive.

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You see that, that's the scary bit, isn't it?

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That last line, it helped keep you alive.

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Can you explain to me a little bit about what was going through your head?

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The mental illness, if you want to call it that, but just what you were really struggling
with.

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Yeah, there was a lot of struggle around acceptance, trying to find my place, navigating a
lot of changes, and that's just on your own as a 14, 15 year old.

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That's not including the autism and ADHD, which some days is like static, some days it's
crystal clear, some days it's a bit of a blur in the middle.

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And there's other days where I don't even know what to call it because it comes for a
moment and disappears.

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But at 14, 15, it was a lot of the static, a lot of the blurred lines, things were just
going out of hand.

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And I had actively contemplated disappearing.

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And it was a lot of my friends that stopped me from going through with it.

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A lot of my family.

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Not all, but some that stopped me going through with it.

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It was faith, finding God at 15 that stopped me going through with it.

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And it was wanting to be here, but not wanting to be what I was that made me want to stay
in the end.

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Yep.

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And looking behind you over your left shoulder, be yourself because everyone else is
taken.

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There we are.

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Thank you.

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Yeah.

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That obviously is very important to you, isn't it?

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Because, you know, I guess that that kind of thing has helped you realize that we are all
different.

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We are all unique.

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We all have stuff to deal with.

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We also have lots of superpowers and magic.

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So

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Tell me how, you you've said the faith, your friends, your family, how did all that give
you that foundation to keep you afloat when life didn't make sense?

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Because I think this is quite important.

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I'm really getting the sense this conversation is where we're going with this may be
really helpful for some people.

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Yeah, so obviously you've got all those things that.

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stick together on their own and help make the foundation.

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It sort of got to a point where it was going to be one day I'm going to get better or this
is day one of getting better and day one as I'm sure you know from experience is not an

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easy day.

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It's the first time you confront and go hey I'm not okay here I'm struggling the water's
getting too high here I need help

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and in 2011 tiara hud that was very taboo it's like if you were in the high school or even
the small town set of thing if you were actively getting help usually that would be the

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end of you but thankfully me going to get help lessened that taboo a bit which i'm glad is
a byproduct

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But ultimately it had to get to that point naturally of this is day one of me getting
better and not getting consumed by my nonsense.

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I'm trying really hard not to swear here, but you get the gist.

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This was day one of I've got to get help and I've got to get treatment and get into a
program or I'm going to be no good for nobody.

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I think that is quite remarkable.

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mean, you've you you realize there was a problem you were able to ask for help.

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And as you said, in a a in a small town, that's that's hard.

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So what was the outcome of asking for help?

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How did

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people respond.

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Surprisingly really well.

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Most my, I confided in a couple of friends at first and said, look, I think I need to do
this.

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And they're like, thank God someone has got through to you because we've been worried for
months, almost a year now because of what's been going on.

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and that was when they filled me in that they were about to hold an intervention and they
were dead serious about it.

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So then as it goes in a small town, I said, you can tell my friends, I haven't told my
family yet.

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And that was a very touchy subject because they were going through their own problems.

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So by that point, it basically became one thing got to another.

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Thankfully, I was able to tell my family in time.

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because you did need parental consent to do it.

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And that was a tense conversation, but I got the help I needed and the ones who cared
enough, stuck by my side and if they weren't by my side, I knew they didn't really care or

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they cared enough from a distance.

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So let me do what I needed to do.

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I don't think I can stress how important it is to actually ask for help because I had to,
you had to, I've spoken to lots of people who have done that.

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And we are our own worst enemy there, aren't we?

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We're afraid that every people will judge us and shame us and all that.

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And yet, as you said, people are going, giving you a hug and saying, thank God, well done
you, all that kind of stuff.

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You realize that...

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So much of that fear was your own projections and worries.

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And yet when you do ask for help, that's when the magic happens.

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Exactly, having been lucky enough to mentor some people and talk about the story a bit,
I've also learned that you cannot force people to get help because that doesn't have the

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right reaction.

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The person who needs the help has to want to get the help and it's not easy to get to that
point.

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If my friends had a choice, as I said, Olympians, artists, farmers, all these kinds of
people, if they could, they would have tied me up and dragged me to the council's office

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months ago at that point.

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But they had to let me get to that point of what I was going to fight back and resist
and...

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dig the hole even deeper.

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And as much as it would have been nice of them to intervene, I'm glad they did it the way
they did because I got to come to that decision for myself and be able to get the suitable

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help.

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So what happened after that?

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Once you had that support you needed, how did you manage to start moving forwards and
start to manage the mental health, start to manage what wasn't working, and start to build

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your own foundation where you could really begin to thrive?

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Yeah, so starting that journey, as I said, I had to start from day one, looking at
yourself in the mirror.

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And there's some people who think that going to counseling, going through rehab is a bit
of a holiday.

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It was the complete opposite for me.

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I had to break everything that I knew about James before.

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that was not healthy and go right back to zero back to the ground one unlearn some bad
habits dismantle some thought processes and it is hard to dismantle that it's hard to

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replace it with different things but in the process of dismantling you got to that ground
zero so okay we've knocked you down

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Here's some of the stuff we like.

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Let's start building a new James out of it.

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And so that process carries on to this day.

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I still go to counseling.

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I still need a support network.

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I still do all this and the other.

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But we got to that point of, okay, here's some of the bits we like.

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Let's start building the skeleton from here and then we'll flash it out as time goes on
and you're ready to weather those storms and go through those seasons.

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Brilliant.

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Yeah.

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Brilliant.

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I like that.

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It does make sense.

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And I'm just looking back at my time in rehab.

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was, you know, I cried for three or four weeks.

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I literally didn't stop because I was, I was able to drop all those masks.

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As you said, I was able to go back to ground zero and look at those, the good things in
Hamish, which I didn't realize.

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I didn't spot them.

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So yeah.

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Okay, so you went into that process of getting help and how did music help you?

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Were you writing at that stage?

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Were you actively writing?

206
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,964
Were you writing music and songs?

207
00:19:15,973 --> 00:19:17,573
definitely testing the waters.

208
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:28,833
I had been through some guitar lessons and piano lessons from about age 10 on and off to
try learn some music.

209
00:19:29,073 --> 00:19:36,703
15 I knew I was going to write something but I wasn't quite ready yet because I hadn't got
to ground zero.

210
00:19:36,703 --> 00:19:41,393
I hadn't got to that point where I could start anything.

211
00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:43,664
Then in little bits

212
00:19:43,664 --> 00:19:52,640
My partner at the time, Kerri -Ann, would encourage me to pick up the guitar, play some
music, just put some chords together and see what happens.

213
00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:54,982
So she planted the seed.

214
00:19:55,563 --> 00:20:03,358
Then from there, it became, okay, I'm feeling something here.

215
00:20:03,358 --> 00:20:05,321
I would grab a notebook and write it down.

216
00:20:05,321 --> 00:20:17,377
and not again not intending to write any songs but just to get it out of my head so it
doesn't stay there eventually i started pairing the two together with kare -ann's

217
00:20:17,377 --> 00:20:28,204
encouragement and the encouragement of my friends and a general hey do this because it's
better than some of the alternatives and i started writing songs from them

218
00:20:28,204 --> 00:20:30,966
Yeah, isn't it.

219
00:20:31,267 --> 00:20:35,722
You're just highlighting that power of creativity, the highlight of...

220
00:20:35,722 --> 00:20:46,932
doing something, making sense of writing it down, journaling, singing, howling, screaming,
dancing, anything to sort of just allow it to flow out.

221
00:20:46,932 --> 00:20:54,237
And I guess you haven't really stopped since then, those days, just writing and playing
and things like that.

222
00:20:55,032 --> 00:21:07,265
No, it hasn't stopped and if I stopped, I mean there was a brief period where I slowed it
down a bit, but even the slowing down I found very scary.

223
00:21:08,186 --> 00:21:13,907
So I try and write something in a journal every day, whether it becomes a song or not.

224
00:21:14,588 --> 00:21:23,270
The general idea is somewhere in the chaos, this thing will be used for something good.

225
00:21:23,436 --> 00:21:29,768
So I'll write it down before it does something to even try to destroy me.

226
00:21:30,508 --> 00:21:38,811
And that's how I work through it with faith, work through it with music, work through it
with any of the other things I do.

227
00:21:38,811 --> 00:21:43,892
Because if it's stuck in my head too long, it's not a good ending.

228
00:21:44,353 --> 00:21:48,734
And it's better to sit with it and externalize it.

229
00:21:49,252 --> 00:21:54,680
rather than let it eat you internally and you have to go back to ground zero and start the
whole thing again.

230
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,991
I think that is really interesting, isn't it?

231
00:21:56,991 --> 00:22:04,804
So you've basically, you've got a series of tools or resources that you almost check in
like, hey, it's Monday morning.

232
00:22:04,904 --> 00:22:05,764
Have I done this?

233
00:22:05,764 --> 00:22:09,036
I've got to do this just to keep you floating.

234
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:15,488
So it's almost like every morning you've got to pick up some paddles, hoist a sail and
things like that for one of better metaphors.

235
00:22:16,095 --> 00:22:17,025
Pretty much.

236
00:22:17,025 --> 00:22:29,981
I've got my daily routines, my weekly routines, and if something's off, I will know and
then I know, I've got to go back through this and reassess it because even when you're as

237
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:35,242
far along in recovery as you and I, we still need to sharpen our tools once in a while.

238
00:22:35,242 --> 00:22:38,463
We still need to refine them a bit in order to keep the ship running.

239
00:22:38,861 --> 00:22:39,262
Yeah.

240
00:22:39,262 --> 00:22:42,784
Yeah, I think that's, I think that is really important.

241
00:22:42,784 --> 00:22:45,276
And sometimes I get resentful about that.

242
00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:46,307
why can't I just exist?

243
00:22:46,307 --> 00:22:47,398
Why can't I just go?

244
00:22:47,398 --> 00:22:53,023
And then I remember, yeah, that's why, because I found a coping strategy that worked.

245
00:22:53,023 --> 00:23:00,598
Alcohol was lovely just to numb everything and just allow me to forget, however it allowed
me to forget life as well.

246
00:23:00,719 --> 00:23:05,974
So I like that I have to go, can't do that, want to do that, must do that.

247
00:23:05,974 --> 00:23:07,385
but it brings awareness in.

248
00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:11,798
It allows me to be a bit more aware of me physically, emotionally.

249
00:23:11,798 --> 00:23:15,160
And I find that really, really empowering.

250
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:19,532
I find that a really good way just to align my moral compass a little bit more.

251
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:24,325
And I think it's worth the effort.

252
00:23:24,325 --> 00:23:25,896
It really is worth the effort.

253
00:23:26,355 --> 00:23:40,415
Absolutely, like if we were having this conversation when I was 14 this wouldn't be
happening because I didn't have that knowledge and To know that you can be in recovery and

254
00:23:40,415 --> 00:23:48,875
still not be fully okay and still have to refine things That's okay because recovery is a
journey.

255
00:23:48,875 --> 00:23:52,946
It's not an end destination and even

256
00:23:52,946 --> 00:24:06,146
13 years on from first seeking help I'm still adjusting things and I'm still working
through my baggage and I never claim to be a saint about it but it's that getting up in

257
00:24:06,146 --> 00:24:18,706
the morning taking those steps it's okay to have a bit of a down day once in a while as
long as we don't sit with it for too long so absolutely what you've said I agree with 100

258
00:24:18,706 --> 00:24:19,557
%

259
00:24:19,557 --> 00:24:22,499
Yeah, I think it's, it is okay.

260
00:24:23,141 --> 00:24:27,065
And it is okay, those down days are important, those rest days are important.

261
00:24:27,065 --> 00:24:35,332
And those days when everything works, you can get in the studio at six in the morning,
keep on going till midnight and can't go to sleep because you're so energized and you've,

262
00:24:35,513 --> 00:24:37,685
you've created you've created a masterpiece.

263
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:40,438
And I think that's, that is lovely.

264
00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:43,541
But so you, I guess like me, you also

265
00:24:43,931 --> 00:24:52,471
When you tune into yourself, you've got a better idea of when you feel energized to do
something and when you need to sort of hunker down and hibernate for a little bit.

266
00:24:52,853 --> 00:24:59,212
you find you flow with your energy rather than your emotions or your thoughts?

267
00:24:59,212 --> 00:25:12,563
As it is, I'm always very analytical about myself, not in an egotistical way, but in a way
that I can actually go, okay, how am I today?

268
00:25:13,004 --> 00:25:20,500
I may not love myself, I might like myself, what kind of things do we need to address on
the journey today?

269
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:26,266
So I'm very analytical about it and I'm very careful with emotions because...

270
00:25:26,266 --> 00:25:27,567
We are human.

271
00:25:27,687 --> 00:25:29,488
Emotions do happen.

272
00:25:30,230 --> 00:25:36,485
When your emotions get out of hand, can take you on a one way street back to things that
came before.

273
00:25:36,485 --> 00:25:41,940
So if I'm not feeling okay, I find out right away.

274
00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:50,950
And instead of sitting with the emotion, I try to make friends with it so I can say,
right, I can walk with this.

275
00:25:50,950 --> 00:26:03,780
And of course if with faith as well You've got a little bit of a higher power that you can
say hey, I can't do this on my own And whatever that is for you Or whatever it isn't for

276
00:26:03,780 --> 00:26:11,796
you There is that freedom in saying I need to take care of this.

277
00:26:11,796 --> 00:26:16,069
I've done what I can with it I'm gonna hand it off to you

278
00:26:16,736 --> 00:26:18,951
For me, it's God and Jesus.

279
00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:20,656
For you, it might be something else.

280
00:26:20,656 --> 00:26:25,200
Whatever that higher power you believe in is, it does help.

281
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,391
It really does, doesn't it?

282
00:26:26,391 --> 00:26:26,861
Yeah.

283
00:26:26,861 --> 00:26:28,642
No, it makes lots of sense.

284
00:26:29,182 --> 00:26:41,821
what's fascinating is the more conversations I'm having, the more there is this pervasive
sense of a higher power, whether it is, as you said, God, Jesus, whether it is any other

285
00:26:41,821 --> 00:26:44,732
religious God, whether it is a sense of spirituality.

286
00:26:44,853 --> 00:26:45,324
And

287
00:26:45,324 --> 00:26:58,095
I think that understanding that there is more to life than just being human is allows us
not to give up, not to give away our responsibility, but rather to understand that, you

288
00:26:58,095 --> 00:26:59,387
know, we're still children.

289
00:26:59,387 --> 00:27:02,589
There is an awful lot more out there that is available to us.

290
00:27:02,890 --> 00:27:08,074
Yeah, I think that's exciting.

291
00:27:08,074 --> 00:27:09,395
I really do.

292
00:27:10,096 --> 00:27:11,848
I want to go back a little bit.

293
00:27:11,848 --> 00:27:18,914
What you said before, before you mentioned your faith, this whole thing about spotting
things before you start going down that slope.

294
00:27:19,895 --> 00:27:26,839
How would a listener who is struggling with stuff and they're getting angry, they're doing
this, they know that it's not healthy for them.

295
00:27:26,839 --> 00:27:38,106
How can they start to spot these emotions and rather than react at them, lash out, cry,
get angry, whatever, isolate, drink, numb.

296
00:27:38,107 --> 00:27:40,108
How can they begin to

297
00:27:41,052 --> 00:27:43,258
get curious, as you said, befriend them.

298
00:27:43,258 --> 00:27:49,912
How do we befriend that kind of stuff to realize it's messages, it's not us, if you like.

299
00:27:50,265 --> 00:27:51,365
Exactly.

300
00:27:51,545 --> 00:27:54,326
So we use a bit of an analogy here.

301
00:27:54,786 --> 00:27:58,879
We go with the mountain because I live on a mountain town.

302
00:27:58,879 --> 00:28:01,480
At the bottom of the mountain is the ambulance.

303
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:06,221
We don't want to go there because that means we've fallen off the mountain.

304
00:28:06,342 --> 00:28:13,255
It's somewhere down the line and we need to go back and take care of ourselves that little
bit more urgently.

305
00:28:13,255 --> 00:28:20,634
but along the way up the top of the mountain, imagine that there's some nets going around
it to catch you when you do try to stumble.

306
00:28:20,634 --> 00:28:27,817
How you, I guess, find those things you need to resolve is where are the holes in the net?

307
00:28:27,817 --> 00:28:31,918
Have you fallen down the stairs a little bit on your way to the top?

308
00:28:32,018 --> 00:28:33,549
Is there a hole in your net?

309
00:28:33,549 --> 00:28:38,630
Have you fallen through that one and you're about to go down to the next layer and fall
through that?

310
00:28:39,170 --> 00:28:45,672
It's kind of like a visualization of, okay, I'm at the top.

311
00:28:45,752 --> 00:28:48,794
I can see that there's a net here.

312
00:28:49,034 --> 00:28:52,917
I need to get some fabric to fill up that part of the net.

313
00:28:53,418 --> 00:28:58,812
I need to actually patch it up before I fall off.

314
00:28:58,812 --> 00:29:12,761
Very much the same kind of idea, because if we're at the top of the mountain or even
trying to climb up, there are going to be things that are going to knock you down.

315
00:29:12,827 --> 00:29:15,358
or at least make a good attempt at it.

316
00:29:15,499 --> 00:29:30,972
So knowing what your triggers are, knowing what does make you blue, knowing what makes the
world feel sunshine, knowing you and your habits and those sort of more behavioral things.

317
00:29:30,972 --> 00:29:36,436
Knowing yourself helps you to know where those things you need to work on are.

318
00:29:37,197 --> 00:29:37,997
And

319
00:29:38,721 --> 00:29:51,490
by knowing yourself and knowing what your limits are, it does help you to limit how bad
things can knock you down because there are moments in life you're still going to fall

320
00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:53,691
down and that's okay.

321
00:29:53,852 --> 00:29:59,967
The important thing in that's going okay we've sat with it now we need to get back up.

322
00:29:59,967 --> 00:30:00,717
Yeah.

323
00:30:01,578 --> 00:30:02,218
I love that.

324
00:30:02,218 --> 00:30:08,922
Looking for those, looking for the holes in the net, looking for what isn't okay in your
environment, isn't it?

325
00:30:10,863 --> 00:30:14,425
and I guess you correct me here.

326
00:30:14,425 --> 00:30:21,489
I guess being on the autism spectrum, you've, you've had to, you've had to look for those
holes.

327
00:30:21,489 --> 00:30:28,493
You've had to look for those steps, the climbing ladders, the rails and things like that,
because it's, you know, your

328
00:30:29,430 --> 00:30:35,775
I don't understand, I don't comprehend how you function differently to me.

329
00:30:35,775 --> 00:30:37,777
But you've had to make sense of that, haven't you?

330
00:30:37,777 --> 00:30:43,411
Because obviously your brain does function differently, the way you perceive is
differently and things like that.

331
00:30:44,386 --> 00:30:48,968
Absolutely, and that's where lot of that analytical side of me comes in.

332
00:30:49,088 --> 00:30:52,690
Especially there were times I did have to fight those battles on my own.

333
00:30:52,750 --> 00:31:04,255
There were points where both sides of my family were arguing with each other and some ways
I fell through the cracks, some ways I had to figure it out on my own because there were

334
00:31:04,255 --> 00:31:06,096
bigger fish they were frying.

335
00:31:07,037 --> 00:31:07,568
And I...

336
00:31:07,568 --> 00:31:12,629
had to do it because there was a point in life where I was pretty much a lone wolf.

337
00:31:13,010 --> 00:31:22,272
I had to figure it out on my own, keep some people close, but keep others at a distance so
they couldn't hurt me, or I couldn't hurt them.

338
00:31:23,153 --> 00:31:32,395
And as you get older, you notice these things a lot more, you get more analytical about
your behaviors and how...

339
00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:34,927
Taking this to kindergarten terms for a minute...

340
00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:41,100
your actions do have reactions and how you feel does matter.

341
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:45,813
So what you're saying with that, I absolutely agree with.

342
00:31:45,813 --> 00:31:52,316
The difference with autism in ADHD for me is it takes a bit longer to do it.

343
00:31:52,316 --> 00:31:55,368
It's a bit more brain work to try and understand it.

344
00:31:55,368 --> 00:31:56,900
And it's trying to...

345
00:31:56,900 --> 00:32:02,588
still be yourself while navigating the bits of the world you don't understand.

346
00:32:03,050 --> 00:32:11,254
And that's something that I've had to do a lot of my life, something that just like
recovery, I'm still having to do now.

347
00:32:11,254 --> 00:32:20,297
Can you explain to me what being on that spectrum, what you find difficult?

348
00:32:20,297 --> 00:32:21,157
What is it?

349
00:32:21,157 --> 00:32:23,107
Is it reading people's body language?

350
00:32:23,107 --> 00:32:25,438
Is it understanding their motivation?

351
00:32:25,438 --> 00:32:30,941
What is it that complicates your life that you don't understand or perceive?

352
00:32:30,941 --> 00:32:34,952
You just have to understand my language because I don't understand this.

353
00:32:34,952 --> 00:32:36,863
I've not really met it.

354
00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:37,620
Yeah.

355
00:32:37,620 --> 00:32:46,636
How, how, what, what do you struggle with in everyday life that you've had to build a
structure around yourself to guide yourself through?

356
00:32:46,636 --> 00:32:54,339
understanding some of the societal norms and boundaries and barriers is one of them.

357
00:32:54,339 --> 00:33:00,519
Trying to not just be a face in the crowd, but also not getting too loud.

358
00:33:00,519 --> 00:33:15,958
trying to make a difference in the world but some days getting out of bed is challenge and
like a spectrum it goes up and down and moves around a lot so some days you get more some

359
00:33:15,958 --> 00:33:28,495
things than others that for me is where the struggle comes in with those ups and downs and
where I've especially in my recovery have to be a lot more careful because if I'm

360
00:33:28,867 --> 00:33:33,421
appear one day and down here the next, then that's a big drop.

361
00:33:33,582 --> 00:33:44,321
Some people who are maybe not on the spectrum or maybe not dealing with it as severely,
you've got that gray area where you've got time to stop and think.

362
00:33:44,321 --> 00:33:49,235
I've had to build my own gray area because life is full of ups and downs.

363
00:33:49,623 --> 00:33:59,611
But in my brain, it very rarely up until even a couple of years ago, stopped at that gray
area to go, oy, think for a minute.

364
00:34:00,432 --> 00:34:04,095
And those are the sorts of general things I struggle with.

365
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:07,889
And again, it goes up and down the pain on the day.

366
00:34:07,889 --> 00:34:08,879
Okay.

367
00:34:08,879 --> 00:34:13,581
So it's almost like your pendulum had two positions and there wasn't a thing in the
middle.

368
00:34:13,581 --> 00:34:20,244
It was either A or B rather than, as you said, that gray bit in between where you could
go, Hey, there's a problem.

369
00:34:20,244 --> 00:34:25,926
It was just like good, bad crap, excellent shit, whatever you, you.

370
00:34:25,926 --> 00:34:26,379
Yeah.

371
00:34:26,379 --> 00:34:27,246
basically it

372
00:34:27,246 --> 00:34:28,378
That sounds tiring.

373
00:34:28,378 --> 00:34:29,378
It is.

374
00:34:30,059 --> 00:34:33,913
Even on medications and going through the therapies I do.

375
00:34:34,314 --> 00:34:35,265
It is tiring.

376
00:34:35,265 --> 00:34:36,776
It takes a lot of work.

377
00:34:36,776 --> 00:34:42,671
There are some situations where I had to put in extra work like going on the road to play
live.

378
00:34:42,671 --> 00:34:45,793
I used to to really work on that and try not to be reckless.

379
00:34:45,793 --> 00:34:49,366
Even now when I get the chance to play live.

380
00:34:50,207 --> 00:34:55,662
It won't be for a few months but I know I have to put the work in so I'm trying to put
some of those plans in place now.

381
00:34:55,662 --> 00:35:00,620
When I'm traveling, I had to do a little bit of that as well.

382
00:35:00,620 --> 00:35:08,301
And generally speaking, it's hard work when you're in recovery normally, never mind on the
spectrum.

383
00:35:08,968 --> 00:35:23,016
But you get up in the morning because you know it's worth putting in that work to stay
clean, stay in a good place and not go back to where you were because if you went back

384
00:35:23,016 --> 00:35:25,417
there you know you would detonate and have to start again.

385
00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:33,211
And sometimes it does take people a few tries to go up and down and back through rehab.

386
00:35:34,052 --> 00:35:36,444
I was blessed enough to be able to see

387
00:35:36,444 --> 00:35:48,642
What that looks like without having to go too far down anything like a relapse So It's
hard work.

388
00:35:48,642 --> 00:35:53,766
Yes, but i'd rather put into hard work and stay clean

389
00:35:54,046 --> 00:36:04,866
then let myself slide back down to where I was at 14 because if I did that it would be
hard to come back to where I am now and it would take decades to try and put everything

390
00:36:04,866 --> 00:36:05,917
back together.

391
00:36:05,917 --> 00:36:07,828
I think that's remarkable.

392
00:36:07,828 --> 00:36:08,559
I really do.

393
00:36:08,559 --> 00:36:17,045
think you've been able to spot it, see the process, see that slippery slope and go, yeah,
it's the luring.

394
00:36:17,386 --> 00:36:18,516
It's there.

395
00:36:18,516 --> 00:36:19,527
I know it works.

396
00:36:19,527 --> 00:36:21,889
know alcohol takes the edge off.

397
00:36:21,889 --> 00:36:23,240
I know this takes the edge off.

398
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:25,171
I know that bad behavior.

399
00:36:25,171 --> 00:36:31,275
It protects me, but it isolates me so much that it's not worth it.

400
00:36:31,275 --> 00:36:32,076
That's the important thing.

401
00:36:32,076 --> 00:36:32,716
It's not worth it.

402
00:36:32,716 --> 00:36:34,457
And when you slip, it's just like...

403
00:36:34,713 --> 00:36:36,714
I'm human, get up.

404
00:36:37,035 --> 00:36:38,837
You've got that other day's information.

405
00:36:38,837 --> 00:36:43,352
You've got the new memories of that, the experiences, and you can keep going.

406
00:36:43,352 --> 00:36:50,779
And it's not easy, but it does allow us to see how beautiful this life really is, doesn't
it?

407
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,441
It does give us that little bit of poignancy.

408
00:36:55,637 --> 00:36:58,861
even up to a couple of years ago i had a lot of sorry

409
00:36:59,748 --> 00:37:02,229
Carry on James, yeah, there's a bit of a delay.

410
00:37:02,229 --> 00:37:14,383
even up until a couple of years ago, I could see that the world wasn't as rosy and I just
wanted to get out of it, but there are times where it's like, it's rosy, I wanna stay in

411
00:37:14,383 --> 00:37:15,103
it.

412
00:37:15,384 --> 00:37:27,258
You sort of have to get to that point where you can see neutrally without the rose colored
glasses and without the darkness to go, okay, this is where we are now.

413
00:37:27,258 --> 00:37:28,829
Things will be okay.

414
00:37:28,829 --> 00:37:30,590
We had a bad day.

415
00:37:31,091 --> 00:37:33,232
But the world's still a good place.

416
00:37:34,174 --> 00:37:36,907
And we just keep moving as we can.

417
00:37:36,907 --> 00:37:41,069
I think you've, you've expressed something really very profound there.

418
00:37:41,069 --> 00:37:51,124
You said from that neutral place, from that very thin gray place that you've got, I've got
other people have got just to be able to say, yeah, there's good days, there's bad days,

419
00:37:51,124 --> 00:37:53,735
there's fun, there's sadness, there's all these things.

420
00:37:53,735 --> 00:37:57,107
They just are, you know, it is that impermanence, isn't it?

421
00:37:57,107 --> 00:38:01,010
There is life, there is death, there is all those things.

422
00:38:01,010 --> 00:38:03,637
And when you're seated there, it's very powerful, isn't it?

423
00:38:03,637 --> 00:38:07,347
Because you are you are stable, you're able to just observe.

424
00:38:07,347 --> 00:38:08,116
Exactly.

425
00:38:08,116 --> 00:38:16,613
Tell me about your music because I've listened to some of your songs and we've chatted
about it previously.

426
00:38:16,613 --> 00:38:23,748
But tell me what you write about and how you know it affects people and impacts people.

427
00:38:23,748 --> 00:38:28,563
Because I think your music, your writing, your stories are really remarkable.

428
00:38:28,563 --> 00:38:48,375
things so when I'm writing as I said earlier it often does not start as a song it's often
memos or notes or talk to myself about things that I know I need to hear and in my daily

429
00:38:48,375 --> 00:38:53,220
time with God sometimes things will come through that as well and I'll just write things
down

430
00:38:53,220 --> 00:39:02,837
And when I'm going to write music, whether it's for an album or something else, I'll be
just sitting there.

431
00:39:03,038 --> 00:39:05,519
I'll play for a whole bunch of stuff.

432
00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:07,561
Some of it quite terrible.

433
00:39:07,942 --> 00:39:13,567
And then I will land on something where it's like, okay, there could be a melody here.

434
00:39:13,567 --> 00:39:16,278
There could be something to guide the ship along.

435
00:39:16,835 --> 00:39:21,317
So I'll start writing the basic ideas and flesh out the rhythms.

436
00:39:21,998 --> 00:39:32,014
That's when I send off some parts to the vocalist after writing some lyrics that I think
will work and sometimes there's some back and forth to figure it out.

437
00:39:32,014 --> 00:39:40,058
But then once I've got those vocals back, then I'll build the rest of the song around the
vocal.

438
00:39:40,458 --> 00:39:43,291
So there's an example of this.

439
00:39:43,291 --> 00:39:45,533
on the album called Midnight Memories.

440
00:39:45,994 --> 00:39:50,220
You hear the...

441
00:39:50,220 --> 00:39:54,096
on the guitar which is your rhythm and then you hear a lot of...

442
00:39:54,096 --> 00:40:00,439
delay guitars which sort of fill in the gaps.

443
00:40:01,119 --> 00:40:09,213
Those delay guitars were written after the vocals were laid down which is usually in most
musicians world not how it works.

444
00:40:09,213 --> 00:40:20,547
You usually send all your music off at once and you more or less just put it together but
I use the vocals as a guide for the storytelling and the music to

445
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:35,766
Inform how the story is told so sometimes I'll be listening to it back with those basic
instruments going, okay We need those sorts of guitars here In Captain and the Kid which

446
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:48,024
was about the last time I ever got to speak to my dad I had the piano parts and a bit of
the drums and then I was listening to some of the music he liked especially Bruce

447
00:40:48,024 --> 00:40:50,836
Springsteen and

448
00:40:51,600 --> 00:41:00,136
think it was racing in the street that came to mind and growing up how they had those
rhythmic guitars that sort of helped gel it together.

449
00:41:00,136 --> 00:41:03,848
So I knew, okay, I need some guitar bits in here.

450
00:41:03,909 --> 00:41:08,703
So I got out my guitar, started playing and I came up with the...

451
00:41:08,703 --> 00:41:18,470
similar to that spring sing sort of vibe if you were listening to the end of racing in the
streets or Born in the USA or any of those other Really?

452
00:41:18,470 --> 00:41:28,467
Story based songs that he's very known to do So that's kind of how I write I use the Focus
as a tool

453
00:41:29,146 --> 00:41:32,638
along with the basic instrumentation that you need to send them.

454
00:41:33,078 --> 00:41:42,364
Use that as the storytelling and work in the other instruments to guide how the story gets
told and which way we're going with it.

455
00:41:42,364 --> 00:41:46,847
Not just on its own, but as an album, does it play a bigger part?

456
00:41:46,847 --> 00:41:48,338
And if so, how does it fit?

457
00:41:48,338 --> 00:41:49,248
I like that.

458
00:41:49,248 --> 00:41:55,120
As you said that last bit, was just seeing the writer writing in another character and
another character.

459
00:41:55,120 --> 00:42:01,062
So they're bringing in the backstories, bringing in the, as you said, fleshing it out,
making it three -dimensional.

460
00:42:01,062 --> 00:42:02,002
I really like that.

461
00:42:02,002 --> 00:42:02,952
And why not?

462
00:42:02,952 --> 00:42:04,403
You know, it works.

463
00:42:04,403 --> 00:42:14,665
So you generally start with the words because you experienced them, your thoughts, your
feelings, your comprehension of the day, the week, the month.

464
00:42:14,665 --> 00:42:16,157
And then it goes from there.

465
00:42:16,157 --> 00:42:33,337
basically and the best ones I've written have never started out as songs as you mentioned
they are notes guides bits of advice or things in general that I need to hear and then

466
00:42:33,337 --> 00:42:45,837
somehow I try to translate it from there if there's something in there that needs to be
said writing this album there were 18 to 20 songs written only nine made the cut

467
00:42:46,073 --> 00:42:50,800
And so you still had to put the right story together for that moment.

468
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,384
It doesn't discredit the other songs that didn't quite make it.

469
00:42:55,146 --> 00:42:57,279
It just means that it's not their time yet.

470
00:42:57,279 --> 00:42:57,689
Brilliant.

471
00:42:57,689 --> 00:42:59,821
think that's, I really like that.

472
00:42:59,821 --> 00:43:09,737
And I'm loving learning the experience of writing an album because I've never had a
conversation like this and just, it is, it's a whole story, isn't it?

473
00:43:09,737 --> 00:43:12,659
It immediately makes me think of Radio Chaos.

474
00:43:12,659 --> 00:43:14,340
I guess you know that album.

475
00:43:14,340 --> 00:43:17,682
It is a story all the way through from end to end.

476
00:43:18,003 --> 00:43:20,024
Yeah.

477
00:43:21,045 --> 00:43:21,542
I like.

478
00:43:21,542 --> 00:43:24,702
best albums apart, I find.

479
00:43:24,802 --> 00:43:28,862
Because anyone can write 10 songs and put them out as a collection.

480
00:43:29,102 --> 00:43:30,602
Anyone can do that.

481
00:43:30,602 --> 00:43:33,642
That's not particularly hard.

482
00:43:34,102 --> 00:43:42,512
But when you're writing an album that's more of a story, you do have to think about the
quality of that story.

483
00:43:42,512 --> 00:43:45,502
What parts fit best, what parts don't.

484
00:43:46,166 --> 00:43:52,080
and you hear that a lot with things like the wall, dark side of the moon, born in the USA.

485
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:55,731
Alton John writes songs and stories.

486
00:43:56,131 --> 00:43:56,851
R .E .N.

487
00:43:56,851 --> 00:44:00,432
just listens to Out of Time or New Adventures in Hi -Fi.

488
00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:05,874
Bon Iver's first album was written about isolation in a cabin.

489
00:44:06,514 --> 00:44:14,116
There's those underlying themes that tie it all together and that's what makes an album
good no matter who it is.

490
00:44:15,557 --> 00:44:19,789
If the story's not there, you don't have that magic that gels it together.

491
00:44:19,789 --> 00:44:32,805
And I think what makes you remarkable is you have been dealt a hand that is tough, and
then you write about it, which supports you.

492
00:44:32,825 --> 00:44:41,709
And then you make songs about it and you're sharing your story, your inspiration, your
hope, you're making sense of stuff.

493
00:44:42,530 --> 00:44:45,382
And people love it, don't they?

494
00:44:45,382 --> 00:44:48,509
resonate with it, they're learning from it, they're understanding.

495
00:44:48,509 --> 00:44:57,045
Tell me a bit about what people, the feedback you're getting from your music and how it
helps people make sense of their own stuff.

496
00:44:57,873 --> 00:45:08,847
well the fact i'm not singing on it helps because nobody wants to hear my singing voice
anyway because that's what i used to do in underground projects i used to sing or attempt

497
00:45:08,847 --> 00:45:16,055
to sing and nine times out ten it didn't work and things wouldn't get conveyed this is
when i was writing

498
00:45:16,984 --> 00:45:34,909
underground music metal music Sometimes I'd write alongside a guy in a mask who was not
very healthy for me but Coming into it now I'm older I'm Learned some things.

499
00:45:34,909 --> 00:45:44,053
I'm a bit wiser I'm not the same James that was writing those kinds of albums for acts
that went pretty much nowhere To James now

500
00:45:44,053 --> 00:45:48,356
does not have any expectations that a song's gonna impact someone.

501
00:45:48,356 --> 00:45:54,030
I can't go to someone and like, hey kid, you wanna be changed forever by a song?

502
00:45:54,450 --> 00:45:55,911
You can't do that.

503
00:45:56,492 --> 00:46:04,617
So all I can hope is that the music will resonate with people and that it might help them
on their journey in some way.

504
00:46:04,818 --> 00:46:09,681
But once it's released, as a songwriter, that's out of my hands.

505
00:46:09,681 --> 00:46:12,462
I know that season's closed for me.

506
00:46:13,407 --> 00:46:20,563
If it helps people, that is amazing and I've heard some really cool stories but it's
ultimately not the end goal.

507
00:46:20,644 --> 00:46:27,930
I'm writing to keep it out of my head and to keep help other people in some way.

508
00:46:28,271 --> 00:46:37,100
How it helps is ultimately down to the listener and even if they have a really wacky way
around it, the way it helps them is not

509
00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:40,235
unequal or indifferent or wrong.

510
00:46:40,235 --> 00:46:44,192
If it reaches people and it means something to them, I've done my job right.

511
00:46:44,192 --> 00:46:44,793
Brilliant.

512
00:46:44,793 --> 00:46:45,934
I love that.

513
00:46:45,934 --> 00:46:56,886
That makes me chuckle, especially the writing music for bands, not that they didn't go
anywhere, but just that anger and that rage and whatever it was in those metal days.

514
00:46:56,886 --> 00:46:59,108
mean, it is music.

515
00:46:59,108 --> 00:47:02,691
It is a way of expressing and making sense of stuff.

516
00:47:02,872 --> 00:47:03,323
Yeah.

517
00:47:03,323 --> 00:47:04,825
I listen to the Cure when I'm down.

518
00:47:04,825 --> 00:47:07,478
friend of mine listens to heavy metal when she's down.

519
00:47:07,599 --> 00:47:09,201
It helps me make sense of things.

520
00:47:09,201 --> 00:47:10,713
I know whether it's comparison or what.

521
00:47:10,713 --> 00:47:11,744
don't know.

522
00:47:12,045 --> 00:47:14,548
Music is magic for me as well.

523
00:47:15,098 --> 00:47:15,798
Exactly.

524
00:47:15,798 --> 00:47:26,265
And not slamming heavy metal, there is some good metal music, there's some good rock
music, there's good Christian music, there's good dance music, there's good in all kinds

525
00:47:26,265 --> 00:47:27,345
of music.

526
00:47:27,806 --> 00:47:34,989
I just found that things I was writing were not translating for me later in life.

527
00:47:35,670 --> 00:47:39,723
Like a lot of the earlier songs, I cannot recognise myself anymore.

528
00:47:39,723 --> 00:47:42,298
In New Zealand...

529
00:47:42,298 --> 00:47:54,438
I was part of something called Play the Vetted Game, which was a metal show headlined by
an act who if I utter his name I'm gonna get in some trouble.

530
00:47:54,778 --> 00:47:59,858
But basically it was, that was the season I was in.

531
00:47:59,938 --> 00:48:04,258
It was helpful for a while, but it doesn't help me anymore.

532
00:48:04,258 --> 00:48:09,478
I don't even recognize the 20 year old they got on that stage anymore.

533
00:48:09,786 --> 00:48:11,096
And I'm nearly 30.

534
00:48:11,096 --> 00:48:13,446
I'm 28 now.

535
00:48:13,446 --> 00:48:15,746
So it's that growth and those changes in time.

536
00:48:15,746 --> 00:48:26,026
I can still enjoy the music a bit, but I can't stay in those places because it served me
for a season and there's nothing wrong with it.

537
00:48:26,366 --> 00:48:28,886
But my life's taken a different direction.

538
00:48:28,886 --> 00:48:30,666
I am Christian.

539
00:48:31,546 --> 00:48:38,944
I am in a very different space in life now where I'm really good with my recovery and

540
00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:47,170
singing about those things that I sung about when I was 20 does not translate now.

541
00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:49,629
It's growth in time.

542
00:48:49,957 --> 00:48:50,909
Absolutely.

543
00:48:50,909 --> 00:48:55,575
Where can we find out more about you, about your music, about your new album?

544
00:48:55,575 --> 00:49:01,361
And yeah, where can we find out more about the James and his music?

545
00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:19,818
Okay, so lost and found has it's out now actually which is kind of mind -boggling The best
way to reach me is brodystreet .net And that's where you can purchase your CD your vinyl

546
00:49:20,379 --> 00:49:28,301
Go to your favorite streaming servers, buy a direct digital download from the site
Merchandises on the way

547
00:49:28,819 --> 00:49:42,764
and fingers crossed once I'm recovered from this car crash and some of the injuries from
that from a few months ago I'm hoping to be touring next year and at some point I hope to

548
00:49:42,764 --> 00:49:50,992
be playing in the UK and Europe and the States and New Zealand and Australia so there's
some conversations around that

549
00:49:51,827 --> 00:50:07,491
If you for some reason want to follow me on social media, I'm not very good at it, but my
handle is at Brody is found on Pretty much everything that you can find if you can't see

550
00:50:07,491 --> 00:50:10,113
me Using that handle.

551
00:50:10,113 --> 00:50:11,815
I'm probably not there.

552
00:50:11,815 --> 00:50:13,807
That's pretty much the best way to do it

553
00:50:13,807 --> 00:50:14,518
I love that.

554
00:50:14,518 --> 00:50:16,120
Now I've picked up on something.

555
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:20,466
You've lost and found as the album Brody is James is found.

556
00:50:20,466 --> 00:50:21,546
Found?

557
00:50:21,567 --> 00:50:26,413
Explain this thing around being found because that's obviously something important to you.

558
00:50:26,850 --> 00:50:32,010
Yeah, so this transcends my fan songwriting for me.

559
00:50:32,170 --> 00:50:41,830
In order to be found and to get to this good place, you first have to be lost and not know
where you're going to get to that place.

560
00:50:42,050 --> 00:50:46,370
The songs on Lost and Found started in 2020.

561
00:50:47,310 --> 00:50:49,810
COVID would have been enough to trigger

562
00:50:49,928 --> 00:50:56,553
and excess, excess in your crisis where you're wondering who am I, what am I doing, why do
I exist now?

563
00:50:56,553 --> 00:51:05,158
And I started writing the album a few weeks after my dad died trying to figure out okay,
dad's not here anymore, who am I now?

564
00:51:05,958 --> 00:51:14,674
While having to do some top -ups of counselling and up the ante a bit because a
relationship I was in at the time fell through.

565
00:51:14,674 --> 00:51:17,416
And life was just not on a good place.

566
00:51:17,916 --> 00:51:29,755
So what you hear on this particular album is how I go from that into getting back to that
place where things are okay, even if I'm not okay.

567
00:51:29,915 --> 00:51:40,983
That's the journey from lost to found for me is you start at the end, you backtrack to
where the story starts, and then

568
00:51:41,235 --> 00:51:55,955
make your way back to the end and basically figure out okay this is what you learned on
the way these were the experiences and you don't need a lot of tracks to do it lost and

569
00:51:55,955 --> 00:52:09,835
found there's only nine songs but those are the songs that will tell you about my life
from sort of july 2020 up until september 2024

570
00:52:10,789 --> 00:52:25,239
and the next part of the story when I work on this second album it'll pick up from now and
it'll sort of go okay this is where I'm at at the moment and I don't know what that

571
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:37,878
journey looks like it could come early next year it could be years down the road but the
journey is going to be very exciting because I'm going from where I am now into wherever

572
00:52:37,878 --> 00:52:39,219
we're going next

573
00:52:39,473 --> 00:52:41,362
and it won't be easy, but it will be fun.

574
00:52:41,362 --> 00:52:42,373
It will be fun.

575
00:52:42,373 --> 00:52:43,334
Absolutely.

576
00:52:43,334 --> 00:52:45,616
I think that's fabulous, James.

577
00:52:45,616 --> 00:52:47,697
Well, we'll put all your information in the show notes.

578
00:52:47,697 --> 00:52:51,040
We'll put where we can find your album and I'm looking forward to...

579
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:51,681
Now it's come out.

580
00:52:51,681 --> 00:52:53,662
I'm looking forward to get that as well.

581
00:52:55,184 --> 00:52:56,784
One last question.

582
00:52:57,205 --> 00:53:07,794
What is your superpower that you have got from not having that intervention, but from
making your own choices to make sense of life the way you have done or the way you are

583
00:53:07,794 --> 00:53:08,616
doing that now?

584
00:53:08,616 --> 00:53:22,634
Now, this is actually in one of the songs on the album and it's the chorus so I'm not sure
if this is one of the ones you've heard or got to hear or won but it goes like this I'm

585
00:53:22,634 --> 00:53:36,601
afraid of the changes and the ghosts of my heart The little things in life are all that I
have Time makes you older Faith makes you stronger But it's just a moment These storms

586
00:53:36,601 --> 00:53:37,622
will pass

587
00:53:38,268 --> 00:53:47,375
and if you need context for that, the superpower is knowing that the storms will pass, but
knowing that things will be okay in the end.

588
00:53:47,375 --> 00:53:48,633
That's the superpower.

589
00:53:48,633 --> 00:53:49,954
I think that is remarkable.

590
00:53:49,954 --> 00:53:51,175
I love that.

591
00:53:51,235 --> 00:53:54,048
And I haven't heard those words.

592
00:53:54,048 --> 00:53:55,619
So I obviously haven't heard that track.

593
00:53:55,619 --> 00:53:57,400
I will listen to that later.

594
00:53:57,661 --> 00:53:58,561
Yeah.

595
00:53:58,561 --> 00:53:59,312
James, thank you.

596
00:53:59,312 --> 00:54:02,675
This has been a really fabulous conversation.

597
00:54:02,675 --> 00:54:03,806
It's been considered.

598
00:54:03,806 --> 00:54:05,327
It's been curious.

599
00:54:05,327 --> 00:54:11,222
And I've learned so much about music, writing music, and just the way you make sense of
life.

600
00:54:11,222 --> 00:54:16,576
Because I think it's quite remarkable that you have gritted your teeth.

601
00:54:16,576 --> 00:54:17,837
You have...

602
00:54:18,267 --> 00:54:25,005
face stuff that people shouldn't have to and you've come out the other side going, what's
next?

603
00:54:25,005 --> 00:54:28,248
And you've got that smile and as you said, you know, it's all gonna be okay.

604
00:54:28,248 --> 00:54:30,171
I think that is really remarkable.

605
00:54:30,171 --> 00:54:31,532
So thank you for your time today.

606
00:54:31,532 --> 00:54:32,843
I really appreciate it.

607
00:54:33,804 --> 00:54:34,744
Thank you Hamish.

608
00:54:34,744 --> 00:54:44,138
I've really enjoyed coming onto your platform, having a chat and adding to the toolbox
that you're creating for people through this podcast.

609
00:54:44,699 --> 00:54:51,153
I think that there's a lot of power in what you're doing and I'm just thrilled to be a
very small part of that.

610
00:54:51,153 --> 00:54:54,776
Well, it has been gratefully received and thank you very much indeed.