WEBVTT

NOTE
This file was generated by Descript 

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Speaker: So we are recording.

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Are we live streaming?

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I believe we are.

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Speaker 2: We're
definitely live streaming.

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Speaker: Let me have a look.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Speaker 2: See I've got you looking now.

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See?

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Yeah.

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I've taught you to look, see.

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Fabulous.

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He's believing.

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So there we are.

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Speaker: I see.

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I'm in, I'm in my very expensive
filing cabinet, my office,

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which I visit very, very rarely.

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And I've got this Mac
screen, which is so big.

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I have to wear my glasses all the
time now to see, because I'm so close.

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And, uh, if you see me looking around like
this, it's going to be via accessing cues.

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I'm just trying to find out where
everything is on the screen.

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Speaker 2: Oh dear.

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Speaker: So we're live.

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Are we Tina?

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Speaker 2: We're definitely live.

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I have looked, we're definitely live.

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Uh, there's no Tanya as yet.

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She tells me, hold on.

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She says I'm in the chippy.

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There you go.

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So Tanya, I dunno whether
you're back from the Chippy yet.

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Speaker: Well,

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Speaker 2: I guess you will be soon.

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So shall we begin?

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Well good evening everyone,
and I hope you're well.

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Speaker 2: Enjoying the
sunshine if you're in the uk.

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It's been beautiful.

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Speaker: Make the most of it guys.

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Yeah,

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Speaker 2: definitely,
definitely Enjoy it.

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This could be summer, these few days

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Speaker: we do talk about and we do
moan about the weather, don't we?

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Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we wouldn't be British if
we didn't complain about the weather.

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It's still cold.

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What?

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Speaker: Bloody on.

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So lemme just put my phone on silent.

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So how are you Tina?

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Speaker 2: I am good.

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I'm good.

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I've, I've had an interesting few days.

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Um, and one of the questions we've
got later on, I'll discuss about my

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interesting few days because I think
it's quite funny and appropriate.

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Uh, yeah.

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I've had an interesting few days and I'm
home alone with my two teenage grandsons.

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'cause my daughter's gone off to have
surgery in Turkey on her teeth, and

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my husband's taken his little girl.

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What that means basically is
she's at the dentist and he's

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sitting by the pool drinking beer.

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Speaker: That sounds a good plan.

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I've got two daughters.

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Do you think that'll ever happen to me?

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Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can only but home state.

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Speaker: He's not picking up the bill
or, or the tab for the teeth, does he?

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No.

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Oh, okay.

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That's even better.

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Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Not only is she paying for her
teeth, she's paid for him to go with her.

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Speaker: Oh, okay.

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I'm gonna make a note of this.

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Yeah.

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I got two holidays already planned.

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Two sometime in the future.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

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Well she was meant to be going with
her, with her boyfriend, but, um,

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unfortunately his passport had expired.

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Speaker: Yeah, you gotta be
careful with those passports.

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Now they, if you're like six months
or five months left on passport.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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You've got about six months.

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Yeah.

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Speaker: Some places won't let you in.

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Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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He only had four months left on his
passport, so he couldn't travel.

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So she was really miffed and,
'cause she's having major surgery,

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she had to have someone with her.

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So daddy went on a holiday.

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Speaker: Sounds a good plan.

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Oh,

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Speaker 2: I've given him a list
of presents I'm expecting there.

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Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

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Well you are.

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You are there with the teenage boys.

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You deserve it.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Speaker: I can't think of anything worse

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Speaker 2: actually.

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Actually, I must just say, I must just
say that Logan, I'm always moaning

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about Logan at the moment, is an angel.

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He wakes up in the morning, he
makes his bed, cleans his room.

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He's being phenomenal.

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He said to me yesterday, I
wouldn't do this for mummy.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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So do you know the first thing
that came to my head was.

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What's he done?

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What's he done?

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It's either, what's he
after or what's he done?

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Speaker 2: Oh, in the end it's
probably, what's he after?

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I'll, I'll get that later.

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Okay.

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And and the other one, the other
one who goes to college, he's 18.

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Getting him outta bed in the morning
is a nightmare, but he's just getting

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up and he is getting showered and
going off to get his bus to college.

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The boys have been fabulous
and they're helping.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Fabulous.

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They, they don't sound like
teenagers, I have to say.

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I do remember talking to
Michael O'Neal about my children

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who are now 25, 24, and 21.

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Uh, this, so they, this
was, or 10 years ago.

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And, um,

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Speaker 2: 25, 24 and 20.

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Speaker: Oh, I can hear me.

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Um,

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Speaker 2: this is, yeah, that was me.

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I'm sorry.

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

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Speaker 2: I'm

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Speaker: trying to

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Speaker 2: remember the message we've got.

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Speaker: And I remember saying
to him, because he, he said, you

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know how the, how's the family?

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I said, it's really weird.

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Nothing bad's happened yet.

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And he said, um, it doesn't ha
nothing bad has to happen, Steve.

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You realize that?

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I said, yeah, but I'm only going
by other people that I know.

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And

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Speaker 2: no, I honestly,
the boys have been fabulous.

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When, when, when Steve went off
with Joey on Tuesday, I said to

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them, I said, look, I'm really busy.

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I've got a lot work to do.

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Um, I will obviously accommodate you.

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I'll make sure there's food in
the fridge and, and you get what

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you need for college and school.

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I said, and they went,
that's okay grandma.

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We'll help where we can.

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Speaker: Mm-hmm.

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Well see this.

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Will this, uh, hypnosis and persuasion
and influence comes, doesn't it?

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Speaker 2: I, of course.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And grandma's our best after all.

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But I must say I love Norway's,
uh, Eurovision entrance.

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Gotta feed the wolf a banana.

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Speaker: Oh, yes.

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Speaker 2: Before it ease my grandma.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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Um, uh, actually on,
was it Saturday night?

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I got really into Eurovision.

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I felt European again.

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I do miss being.

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Yeah.

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Um, but it was a very cringe moment
when I felt, oh no, please don't win.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Yeah.

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We've been waiting 25 years.

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Be in the top 10 and it's the one year
where we could have beaten the Ukraine and

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it was like, oh no, we can't, we can't.

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Speaker: Oh no.

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I just felt like, oh,
we'd have to apologize.

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We're really sorry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah,

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Speaker: yeah,

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Speaker 2: yeah.

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But we didn't, so it's good.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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So Tina, we have got, um, we got a list
of questions, haven't we, from people?

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We

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Speaker 2: do have a list of questions.

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Yeah.

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Some, we've got people working.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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Jane.

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Regina Tanya's back from the Chippy.

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Hope you got

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Speaker: Fabulous.

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Speaker 2: A more Lee
with your fish and chips.

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Speaker: Yeah.

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So we've got quite a list of
questions actually, so it's good.

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I mean, the, the questions don't
always get posted in the comments.

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These get emailed to us.

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Um, and most of 'em are related to the
secret agents change membership sessions.

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So I guess we have to do a bit of
a pre-frame to let those on in the

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membership group know what the, uh,
lessons are about for the moment.

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Speaker 2: Ah, yes, we will.

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Yeah.

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And, and also with the questions,
we set this up primarily for the

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people in our membership group and.

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When we've answered their questions,
then we'll answer any other

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questions that, that we have.

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So shall I start?

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So this month we were looking
at relationships and we

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thought we'd look at gender.

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There's a whole lot that we often
hear in the press from the l lgbtq

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plus community about various issues
that they face and the things that,

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that are going on in their world.

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And one of my, well, one of our friends
and, and somebody that works closely with

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us, with the the diploma and the clinical
hypnotherapy training is Gloria Hammett.

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I always say she's a
recovering psychotherapist.

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So Gloria has spent a lot of time
over, over the years working with

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people with transgender issues and
she worked quite closely with, um, Dr.

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Wendy Peters, who is actually
trans as a trans woman.

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And so I got together with Gloria
and Wendy to basically ask them how

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they would like us as NLP coaches, as
hypnotherapist to help the community.

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What can we do when we have a client
from that community, specifically someone

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with trans and with gender issues?

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What can we do to help them?

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Um, and we had some very
interesting responses.

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I hadn't expected Dr.

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Wendy to explain about her transition,
and I thought that was interesting

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for everybody because I think a lot
of time you just don't understand.

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What somebody goes through when
they're stuck and they really don't

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feel like they're in the right body.

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So if I go to the first question,
which is, uh, here we go.

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Thank you Tina Gloria and Dr.

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Wendy Peters for such an
informative discussion this month.

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The conversation covered a broad range of
issues, so I'm hoping to narrow it down.

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If approached by the L-B-G-T-Q community,
what issues are likely to be presented and

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what do we have in our toolkit to help?

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Now, one of the things I said to Dr.

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Wendy right at the beginning is,
I mean, I have had people ask

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me, how can we help people that
are confused with their gender?

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And in my head.

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I just kind of, well, I still think
that whatever we do that works with

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human beings, works with human beings
and we have a lovely process, you

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know, the NLP process of change
and we don't really need content.

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We are just looking at
the strategy, aren't we?

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We are looking at what they're
doing in their head that isn't

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working and how we can give them
the resources so that it does work.

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So I think sometimes we just get tied
up that this is a certain kind of

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person where the problems are faced
just by them, but not necessarily.

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'cause I think everybody needs
confidence and self-esteem, as Dr.

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Wendy said, that that's what they need
and, and possibly how to deal with.

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What's happening with the
way they're being treated?

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I mean, we work with all sorts of
people that have issues about being

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bullied or being threatened, and we
have strategies for helping them.

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And it's no different if they're
transitioning Now, she did say that

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she got very impatient when she
was transitioning, and, and I know

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that she was able to do this quite
quickly compared to other people.

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Uh, and she was also able
to pay for her surgery.

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So maybe there's something
connected with that as well.

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Uh, do you want anything to add?

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Steve?

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Can you hear my neighbor's
children screaming?

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Speaker: I can hear somebody screaming.

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I'm assuming it's,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go while you speak.

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I'm gonna go and close the door
because the, okay, fair, fair.

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Next door playing in the garden.

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And I have,

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Speaker: I thought, I thought it was my
internal dialogue for a moment there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:11:09.568 --> 00:11:09.688
No,

00:11:09.688 --> 00:11:10.018
Speaker: it's children.

00:11:10.018 --> 00:11:12.868
So why Tina is dealing with the
screaming children next door.

00:11:12.928 --> 00:11:13.288
Um.

00:11:15.223 --> 00:11:15.583
It.

00:11:15.583 --> 00:11:19.513
First of all, it was a fascinating
conversation and I really

00:11:19.513 --> 00:11:22.213
appreciate Gloria and Tina and Dr.

00:11:22.213 --> 00:11:24.103
Wendy Peter, putting that together.

00:11:24.583 --> 00:11:29.863
Um, it's an area where I've not
actually worked with anybody from

00:11:29.863 --> 00:11:34.153
the LGB GT LGBTQ plus community.

00:11:34.333 --> 00:11:37.003
Um, that's just not happened, which
is actually quite a rare thing.

00:11:37.003 --> 00:11:41.893
It made me consider that, um, because
I always say there isn't a situation

00:11:41.893 --> 00:11:43.303
which I've not worked with somebody.

00:11:43.873 --> 00:11:46.933
Um, but that's not true.

00:11:46.963 --> 00:11:48.703
This is an area where I've
not worked with someone.

00:11:48.703 --> 00:11:54.613
So the only thing I've gotta add is what
occurred to me is that it seemed to me

00:11:54.613 --> 00:11:59.353
so important when working with, and I
think it's important with anyone, working

00:11:59.353 --> 00:12:01.663
with anyone, is not to impose our map.

00:12:02.188 --> 00:12:03.028
Upon them.

00:12:03.838 --> 00:12:04.588
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree.

00:12:04.918 --> 00:12:05.218
Speaker: Yeah.

00:12:05.578 --> 00:12:10.738
To be very clean and make sure
that our views, our opinions, our

00:12:10.738 --> 00:12:16.438
judgements, our biases, our beliefs
don't in get in the way of allowing

00:12:16.438 --> 00:12:18.418
somebody to explore their own map.

00:12:19.198 --> 00:12:19.528
Speaker 2: Hmm.

00:12:20.007 --> 00:12:23.968
Speaker: Um, I know I've, I've think
I've been borderline guilty of it on

00:12:23.968 --> 00:12:28.438
some occasions where, and, uh, maybe
my ego's getting in the way with this

00:12:28.438 --> 00:12:29.908
when I say borderline guilty of it.

00:12:30.028 --> 00:12:33.778
So it might have had more, more than
once where I've been working with

00:12:33.778 --> 00:12:37.318
someone and almost like gone, ah, I
know what this person needs to do.

00:12:37.948 --> 00:12:38.247
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

00:12:38.728 --> 00:12:39.028
Speaker: Yeah.

00:12:39.208 --> 00:12:43.738
And then caught myself before I kind
of lead the witness, your honor,

00:12:43.798 --> 00:12:45.328
and nudge them in a direction.

00:12:45.507 --> 00:12:45.867
Yeah.

00:12:46.257 --> 00:12:50.367
And I think any situation, and this
one in particular, when people are

00:12:50.818 --> 00:12:54.388
making choices, making decisions,
they're being influenced by all sorts

00:12:54.388 --> 00:12:58.288
of people and they're going through
a long process and they're navigating

00:12:58.288 --> 00:13:00.267
what must be a difficult terrain.

00:13:01.017 --> 00:13:01.497
Um.

00:13:02.103 --> 00:13:06.988
You know, as a coach we are there to
help them to navigate sometimes and

00:13:06.988 --> 00:13:08.548
not to do the navigation for them.

00:13:09.058 --> 00:13:11.247
Not to say this is what you should do.

00:13:11.877 --> 00:13:13.377
Um, so that's anything.

00:13:13.377 --> 00:13:15.418
And it's just one other thing as
well, really, I think you should,

00:13:15.538 --> 00:13:19.108
from an NL Ps perspective, also
really listen out to the mod operators

00:13:19.108 --> 00:13:19.803
when you're working with someone.

00:13:19.853 --> 00:13:20.522
Speaker 2: Definitely.

00:13:21.028 --> 00:13:21.358
Speaker: Yeah.

00:13:21.418 --> 00:13:27.358
To see if, um, 'cause they'll give you
clues as to, you know, whether there is,

00:13:28.288 --> 00:13:31.318
whether it's coming from them as well
as whether they're being influenced.

00:13:31.318 --> 00:13:35.398
'cause you, it's very difficult to
not be influenced by other people's

00:13:35.578 --> 00:13:39.478
maps and that includes their friends,
that includes their associates,

00:13:39.478 --> 00:13:40.558
that includes their families.

00:13:40.558 --> 00:13:42.148
So that's the only thing
I'd like to add to that.

00:13:42.328 --> 00:13:42.598
Yeah.

00:13:42.973 --> 00:13:47.218
Speaker 2: And, and I think that could
be an issue with the very young people.

00:13:47.247 --> 00:13:52.948
'cause I know that one of my
grandsons has a friend and when

00:13:53.308 --> 00:13:59.578
COVID kicked off in March, their
friend who is biologically female.

00:14:01.573 --> 00:14:02.383
Was female.

00:14:02.743 --> 00:14:06.283
And then when their friend came to
school, came back to school when

00:14:06.283 --> 00:14:10.573
school reopened in, in the autumn
after all the shutdowns in COVID.

00:14:12.013 --> 00:14:15.493
Now he, his friend is a trans male.

00:14:17.083 --> 00:14:22.663
Um, now I'm, I'm not sure how I feel
about that because his friend is only 14.

00:14:24.103 --> 00:14:31.093
Um, but that said, he is
convinced that he should be a boy.

00:14:31.693 --> 00:14:39.493
And I have had a few discussions with
his mom because I've found that there

00:14:39.493 --> 00:14:43.213
are a lot of children now that are trans.

00:14:44.593 --> 00:14:48.523
I mean, both of my grandsons
have friends that are trans.

00:14:50.803 --> 00:14:55.483
And one of them, I even said in the
interview, one of them came out to

00:14:55.483 --> 00:14:58.603
me and we were at a family dinner.

00:14:59.458 --> 00:15:00.898
And my husband was there.

00:15:01.528 --> 00:15:05.308
Both my grandsons, my grandson's
friend whose name was Josh.

00:15:06.208 --> 00:15:11.518
And suddenly, while mid mouthful of
Pizza, William Pizza Express, Josh said,

00:15:14.398 --> 00:15:17.428
I'm a girl and I want
to be called Jessica.

00:15:18.958 --> 00:15:21.658
Um, and as Steve said,
you've gotta stop your map.

00:15:22.018 --> 00:15:27.928
And I very nly went to that
place in the life of Brian, where

00:15:28.018 --> 00:15:30.448
Eric Idle said I want to be.

00:15:31.018 --> 00:15:34.408
And I can't remember the name
that Eric Idle said, want Eric

00:15:34.408 --> 00:15:35.488
Idle wanted to be a woman.

00:15:36.178 --> 00:15:39.508
And I, and I sort of stopped,
'cause Josh did play tricks and

00:15:39.508 --> 00:15:40.798
he did have a warp sense of humor.

00:15:40.798 --> 00:15:45.268
And I looked at him and I just
thought, no, he is serious.

00:15:47.008 --> 00:15:48.208
So I just said.

00:15:48.762 --> 00:15:52.183
Okay, do you want another
Coke or are you done?

00:15:52.903 --> 00:15:54.193
Because he just made a statement.

00:15:54.193 --> 00:15:59.772
So I just accepted his statement and
I did end up talking to Josh's mom who

00:15:59.772 --> 00:16:07.033
did have great difficulty in accepting,
but Josh is now Jessica and is now

00:16:07.033 --> 00:16:11.772
going, Josh is, Jessica is now 18 and
is going through all sorts of treatment

00:16:13.872 --> 00:16:15.703
and there seem to be a lot.

00:16:17.742 --> 00:16:23.413
So sometimes I wonder is that because they
didn't have a chance to come out before,

00:16:25.902 --> 00:16:30.372
or, I'm gonna be devil's advocate
now Steve, part of me does think

00:16:33.073 --> 00:16:38.742
that some of them will have body
dysmorphia and, and I have been told

00:16:38.742 --> 00:16:40.752
by Gloria that that is the case.

00:16:41.053 --> 00:16:45.343
Some of them where they go
through the trans, um, I.

00:16:47.038 --> 00:16:50.428
And they start along that
line to, to change and become

00:16:50.428 --> 00:16:51.958
trans male or trans female.

00:16:52.318 --> 00:16:56.398
Um, there is a percentage of them that
at some point realize that actually no,

00:16:56.398 --> 00:16:58.678
that's wrong and it is body dysmorphia.

00:16:59.278 --> 00:17:04.258
So I'm not quite sure how you
coach somebody through that.

00:17:04.917 --> 00:17:08.367
Personally, when I've worked with
someone, I've done everything.

00:17:08.367 --> 00:17:12.568
I've gone through well-formed
outcomes to check if it's ecologically

00:17:12.568 --> 00:17:15.808
sound, you know, is it true to them?

00:17:16.018 --> 00:17:21.477
And I've had them go in and we've
even done like IMRs, we've even done

00:17:21.477 --> 00:17:23.338
unconscious signals with the brain.

00:17:24.298 --> 00:17:26.848
Um, and they have come out
that it is true to them.

00:17:26.848 --> 00:17:29.937
And the people I've worked with
who have transitioned are still

00:17:29.937 --> 00:17:32.998
transitioned now and are very happy
with the changes they've made.

00:17:34.258 --> 00:17:41.278
Um, so I think it's just going with the
process, the NLP process of change and

00:17:41.278 --> 00:17:44.578
instead of thinking this is someone.

00:17:45.342 --> 00:17:50.952
Is transitioning or is part of the
l lgbtq plus community think this is

00:17:50.952 --> 00:17:53.322
a person, how can I be of service?

00:17:53.322 --> 00:17:54.192
How can I help them

00:17:56.533 --> 00:18:01.422
Speaker: as you're talking, they
think about, a lot of clients come

00:18:01.422 --> 00:18:09.102
in telling us what they want and then
when we sit with them and we meta

00:18:09.102 --> 00:18:14.262
model and we do the diagnostic, we
then uncover what it is they need.

00:18:14.862 --> 00:18:15.162
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:18:15.762 --> 00:18:19.512
Speaker: And that's where I think
it can be tricky because, you know,

00:18:19.512 --> 00:18:24.283
when we know what someone needs,
that could be imposing our map on

00:18:24.283 --> 00:18:26.112
them in conflict to what they want.

00:18:27.342 --> 00:18:27.672
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:18:28.092 --> 00:18:28.392
Speaker: Yeah.

00:18:28.632 --> 00:18:31.992
So yeah, I think just,
just be aware that, um,

00:18:34.662 --> 00:18:37.512
you know, you are not imposing
your map and delivering.

00:18:38.338 --> 00:18:42.687
From my perspective, I always deliver
what a client wants unless I really

00:18:42.687 --> 00:18:45.028
feel it's gonna be harmful to them.

00:18:45.268 --> 00:18:47.548
And then we'll have
that, uh, conversation.

00:18:47.788 --> 00:18:49.468
And that will just be an ecology check.

00:18:49.558 --> 00:18:50.187
It won't be,

00:18:50.398 --> 00:18:50.608
Speaker 2: yeah.

00:18:50.697 --> 00:18:53.248
Speaker: You know, Steve Krabs
judgment as to are they doing

00:18:53.248 --> 00:18:54.028
the right or wrong thing?

00:18:54.028 --> 00:18:58.918
It will be an exploration of let's just
explore that if they're open to that.

00:18:59.218 --> 00:18:59.428
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:18:59.428 --> 00:19:02.697
Because some of them may come talk
to you because they are confused.

00:19:02.697 --> 00:19:07.798
I have spoken to one, one, I've only ever
had one person that Gloria couldn't see.

00:19:08.368 --> 00:19:13.018
Um, and she referred this person
to me and they were confused.

00:19:13.918 --> 00:19:16.348
Um, and well then

00:19:16.582 --> 00:19:17.368
Speaker: that's fine, isn't it?

00:19:17.368 --> 00:19:17.788
You know, someone's

00:19:17.788 --> 00:19:18.748
Speaker 2: going, I'm confused.

00:19:18.753 --> 00:19:19.582
Let's explore

00:19:19.582 --> 00:19:19.663
Speaker: that.

00:19:19.853 --> 00:19:20.263
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

00:19:20.263 --> 00:19:21.658
So let's explore the confusion.

00:19:21.658 --> 00:19:26.428
So we, we, we explored what was going on
in their head, what they were thinking.

00:19:26.728 --> 00:19:28.348
And then we went down,
well-formed outcomes.

00:19:28.348 --> 00:19:29.428
Was it good for them?

00:19:29.758 --> 00:19:33.508
And 'cause the thing is with the trans
community, if they're gonna be trans.

00:19:34.812 --> 00:19:40.123
I mean, this particular
person, it was right for them,

00:19:40.123 --> 00:19:41.803
and they are now trans male.

00:19:43.003 --> 00:19:49.843
But at the session, the first time I
spoke to him, it wasn't right because

00:19:49.843 --> 00:19:51.883
they were hurting their parents.

00:19:53.893 --> 00:19:55.663
So I think there's a lot of conflict

00:19:55.663 --> 00:19:56.473
Speaker: mm-hmm.

00:19:57.793 --> 00:19:59.023
Speaker 2: With these people as well.

00:19:59.383 --> 00:20:03.013
Um, and if you stick with the
process and do all the things we've

00:20:03.013 --> 00:20:07.062
talked about, it's not, it's no
different to coaching anybody else.

00:20:07.093 --> 00:20:11.158
Other people have conflict and
we just coach them through it.

00:20:11.163 --> 00:20:11.322
It works.

00:20:11.473 --> 00:20:11.683
Yeah.

00:20:11.918 --> 00:20:13.333
Speaker: We coach them to get clarity,

00:20:13.633 --> 00:20:13.993
Speaker 2: don't we?

00:20:14.263 --> 00:20:14.562
Speaker: Yeah,

00:20:15.193 --> 00:20:15.403
Speaker 2: yeah.

00:20:15.403 --> 00:20:15.413
Speaker: Yeah.

00:20:16.843 --> 00:20:17.293
Excuse me.

00:20:18.013 --> 00:20:18.223
Yeah.

00:20:18.223 --> 00:20:18.613
It's fast.

00:20:18.613 --> 00:20:19.303
It's fascinating.

00:20:19.303 --> 00:20:19.963
Fascinating.

00:20:20.203 --> 00:20:20.233
A

00:20:20.953 --> 00:20:23.923
Speaker 2: so I knew that was
gonna be a, a needy subject.

00:20:24.018 --> 00:20:24.437
Speaker: Mm-hmm.

00:20:24.613 --> 00:20:25.572
Mm-hmm.

00:20:26.113 --> 00:20:26.773
Yeah, it was great.

00:20:27.013 --> 00:20:27.343
Yeah.

00:20:27.523 --> 00:20:28.933
I appreciate putting it together.

00:20:28.933 --> 00:20:28.993
Yeah.

00:20:30.627 --> 00:20:32.157
Speaker 2: So I've got
a question for you now.

00:20:32.392 --> 00:20:32.772
Speaker: Do you?

00:20:33.332 --> 00:20:34.053
Speaker 2: I do, yeah.

00:20:34.452 --> 00:20:34.612
Speaker: Fabulous.

00:20:35.277 --> 00:20:37.527
Speaker 2: Growing your
practice promotion.

00:20:37.527 --> 00:20:37.797
Excuse

00:20:37.797 --> 00:20:37.918
Speaker: me.

00:20:39.117 --> 00:20:42.837
Speaker 2: Six degrees of
Kevin Bacon networking.

00:20:43.347 --> 00:20:44.787
Speaker: It wasn't actually networking.

00:20:45.642 --> 00:20:45.932
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:20:46.432 --> 00:20:47.252
Speaker: No, it was,

00:20:47.472 --> 00:20:48.492
Speaker 2: I'm just
reading what they said.

00:20:49.152 --> 00:20:52.437
Speaker: Yes, it was, uh, referrals.

00:20:52.918 --> 00:20:53.127
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:20:53.773 --> 00:20:55.092
Speaker: But I talked about networking.

00:20:55.273 --> 00:20:55.483
Yeah.

00:20:56.053 --> 00:20:57.673
Your network, but Okay.

00:20:57.673 --> 00:20:58.393
It wasn't networking.

00:20:58.753 --> 00:20:59.233
Continue.

00:21:01.123 --> 00:21:03.883
Speaker 2: Whilst I attend
regular networking events,

00:21:03.883 --> 00:21:05.082
maybe that's what it's about.

00:21:05.233 --> 00:21:05.443
Speaker: Mm-hmm.

00:21:05.533 --> 00:21:09.133
Speaker 2: Most of my change work comes
from word of mouth, from previous clients.

00:21:09.253 --> 00:21:10.183
Well done.

00:21:10.183 --> 00:21:10.812
Speaker: Mm-hmm.

00:21:11.143 --> 00:21:12.072
Speaker 2: Recently, which,

00:21:12.078 --> 00:21:13.998
Speaker: which by the way is referrals.

00:21:16.243 --> 00:21:16.543
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:21:18.463 --> 00:21:22.903
Recently, one of my networking clients
said that it's hard to refer to me because

00:21:22.903 --> 00:21:25.663
people rarely mention their mental health.

00:21:25.753 --> 00:21:27.403
It's another subject we had earlier.

00:21:29.203 --> 00:21:32.653
Another networking colleagues said that
it's hard because lots of people don't

00:21:32.653 --> 00:21:35.203
know about an LPN hypnosis and are wary.

00:21:35.953 --> 00:21:39.433
This tells me that there's something
wrong with my marketing message.

00:21:39.793 --> 00:21:43.303
What's your advice on the best
pitch for personal change work?

00:21:44.893 --> 00:21:45.673
Good question.

00:21:46.513 --> 00:21:49.153
Speaker: Um, I'm not
sure what I could answer.

00:21:49.153 --> 00:21:50.713
What is the best pitch?

00:21:51.433 --> 00:21:52.033
Um.

00:21:54.673 --> 00:21:59.773
There's an expectation of your
network being able to explain to

00:21:59.773 --> 00:22:01.933
people what it is that you do.

00:22:03.163 --> 00:22:06.133
Um, so I'm answering the second part
about lots of people don't know about

00:22:06.133 --> 00:22:08.803
NLP and hypnosis, nor do they need to.

00:22:09.462 --> 00:22:09.793
Speaker 2: Yeah,

00:22:10.242 --> 00:22:13.572
Speaker: what they're really
interested in is, um, if you

00:22:13.572 --> 00:22:14.922
have a solution to their problem.

00:22:14.922 --> 00:22:18.882
So that's really what you wanna get
better at in terms of your marketing

00:22:18.882 --> 00:22:22.602
message, uh, in terms of explaining
what it is that you do for people.

00:22:22.602 --> 00:22:23.803
Give them and get them.

00:22:24.492 --> 00:22:29.142
Um, they couldn't care less if, if
what you do is they rub their head,

00:22:29.142 --> 00:22:32.652
pat their head and rub their tummy, you
might not be able to charge for that.

00:22:33.072 --> 00:22:39.492
Um, so that, that's the first adjustment
I would make, uh, get clarity on your,

00:22:39.702 --> 00:22:44.562
um, explanation as to the benefits
of what you do for your clients,

00:22:45.372 --> 00:22:48.582
because that's all somebody else has
to be able to convey and pass on.

00:22:49.332 --> 00:22:54.283
Now the trouble is, especially
in networking events, you're

00:22:54.283 --> 00:23:01.662
expecting somebody to reproduce the
explanation you've just given to

00:23:01.662 --> 00:23:02.982
the person at the networking event.

00:23:02.982 --> 00:23:06.882
So I mentioned this, um,
when I was talking about, um.

00:23:08.112 --> 00:23:11.922
The collaborative conversation,
the sales conversation.

00:23:12.102 --> 00:23:12.553
Okay.

00:23:13.303 --> 00:23:18.703
That at the very, one of the early stages
of having a collaborative conversation,

00:23:18.703 --> 00:23:22.243
which is like taking an order, you
wanna make sure that the person you're

00:23:22.243 --> 00:23:26.503
talking to is the person that makes
the decision to book in with you.

00:23:27.553 --> 00:23:27.882
Okay?

00:23:28.723 --> 00:23:32.203
Now, the reason you wanna do that
is because if it's not the person

00:23:32.203 --> 00:23:35.293
who makes the decision, you're
gonna have a conversation with them.

00:23:35.473 --> 00:23:39.642
They're gonna go away and they're gonna
delete, they're gonna distort, they're

00:23:39.642 --> 00:23:44.533
gonna generalize and try to explain what
you've just explained to somebody else,

00:23:44.743 --> 00:23:46.033
and they're not gonna get it, right?

00:23:46.513 --> 00:23:49.182
So if they've gotta explain to someone
else, you want that person there.

00:23:49.182 --> 00:23:49.513
So

00:23:51.703 --> 00:23:57.283
either with the networking people,
they have to really understand what

00:23:57.283 --> 00:23:59.233
it is you do or what's even better.

00:24:00.013 --> 00:24:01.273
Give them an experience.

00:24:02.477 --> 00:24:02.767
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:24:05.742 --> 00:24:07.997
Speaker: Do a demo demo.

00:24:08.053 --> 00:24:11.322
A lot of these networking events
enable people to get up and they're,

00:24:11.412 --> 00:24:13.812
sometimes they're very desperate for
someone to get up and do something.

00:24:13.812 --> 00:24:14.592
That's interesting.

00:24:14.982 --> 00:24:15.852
If you've been to anything.

00:24:16.212 --> 00:24:16.452
Yeah.

00:24:16.962 --> 00:24:19.122
Um, give people an experience.

00:24:19.122 --> 00:24:23.712
The best thing you do is, you know,
not talk about coaching coach.

00:24:25.002 --> 00:24:25.273
Yeah.

00:24:25.692 --> 00:24:28.122
So I'm using coaching for
NLP hypnosis the whole lot.

00:24:29.053 --> 00:24:31.303
Give people an experience of what you do.

00:24:31.662 --> 00:24:35.382
Then they'll go away and talk about,
wow, this is what I got and this is what

00:24:35.382 --> 00:24:37.062
I did and this is what it did for me.

00:24:37.722 --> 00:24:40.662
And quite often their enthusiasm
will be persuasive enough.

00:24:41.262 --> 00:24:41.592
Speaker 2: Hmm.

00:24:41.712 --> 00:24:42.012
Speaker: Yeah.

00:24:42.102 --> 00:24:43.752
So stop talking about it.

00:24:44.202 --> 00:24:46.062
Um, demonstrate it.

00:24:46.182 --> 00:24:46.512
Yeah.

00:24:46.992 --> 00:24:49.002
And you're absolutely
right about mental health.

00:24:49.122 --> 00:24:49.422
Um.

00:24:50.172 --> 00:24:52.812
You know, we were talking about
this before we came online.

00:24:53.502 --> 00:24:58.152
Um, but there is stigma attached to
admitting, you know, someone's stressed,

00:24:58.152 --> 00:24:59.262
they're depressed, they're anxious.

00:24:59.262 --> 00:25:02.862
There still is, even though a lot of
people are talking about it more openly.

00:25:03.793 --> 00:25:07.062
Um, so you've gotta get
across, you've gotta, you're

00:25:07.062 --> 00:25:08.382
fighting against that stigma.

00:25:08.382 --> 00:25:11.472
People, I, I call it the free stress
monkeys, where people don't wanna talk

00:25:11.472 --> 00:25:14.442
about it, they don't want to hear about
it, and they don't even wanna see it.

00:25:15.282 --> 00:25:19.932
Um, so yeah, stop talking about mental
health, but give someone an experience

00:25:19.932 --> 00:25:24.492
of what wellbeing is, what you can do
for them in terms of helping them to

00:25:25.182 --> 00:25:28.212
maybe be more calm or relaxed de-stress.

00:25:28.297 --> 00:25:32.322
At the end of the day, give them something
that they can talk about and, uh, they can

00:25:32.322 --> 00:25:34.422
talk about having had an experience of it.

00:25:34.422 --> 00:25:35.592
That's where I would go with that.

00:25:36.642 --> 00:25:38.232
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people.

00:25:39.673 --> 00:25:40.393
Connect.

00:25:40.483 --> 00:25:44.593
When you talk about you have mental
health issues, people start thinking

00:25:44.593 --> 00:25:46.663
about people that have nervous breakdowns.

00:25:47.173 --> 00:25:52.333
People aren't talking about somebody
that is stressed or suffers from anxiety.

00:25:53.203 --> 00:25:55.783
They think that you've got,
you have nervous breakdowns

00:25:55.783 --> 00:25:56.713
or you have panic attacks.

00:25:56.713 --> 00:26:01.453
They think of something huge and,
and what they're imagining in their

00:26:01.453 --> 00:26:06.523
head, um, needs to change, I think.

00:26:07.123 --> 00:26:07.483
Speaker: Mm-hmm.

00:26:07.843 --> 00:26:09.973
And actually, I'm just looking at it
again, there's something else I wanna

00:26:09.973 --> 00:26:14.773
talk about in terms of this one, um,
which is the most of my change work.

00:26:15.312 --> 00:26:18.072
Comes from word of mouth,
from previous clients.

00:26:18.343 --> 00:26:18.673
Speaker 2: Hmm.

00:26:20.173 --> 00:26:21.163
Speaker: Put the focus there.

00:26:21.433 --> 00:26:24.463
What is it that you're doing
in order to get most of the

00:26:24.463 --> 00:26:25.843
work from previous clients?

00:26:26.293 --> 00:26:30.103
And how many different ways are
you currently getting referrals?

00:26:30.703 --> 00:26:32.083
Maybe you've got two ways of doing it.

00:26:32.413 --> 00:26:35.383
Well, what happens if you put
three or four different ways in?

00:26:36.043 --> 00:26:40.213
Could you double the amount that you're
getting, put the focus on what's already

00:26:40.213 --> 00:26:44.353
working and see if you can improve what's
already working rather than putting

00:26:44.353 --> 00:26:47.773
the attention to something that's not
working and trying to make that work.

00:26:48.553 --> 00:26:49.663
That's where I'd go with that.

00:26:49.693 --> 00:26:52.963
If you were, let say, for example,
if you, one of my clients and we are

00:26:52.963 --> 00:26:56.863
looking at your marketing, uh, the first
place I'd go is, well, what's works?

00:26:57.403 --> 00:26:57.673
Speaker 2: Hmm.

00:26:58.123 --> 00:27:00.883
Speaker: Yeah, because quite
often people aren't really

00:27:00.913 --> 00:27:03.043
maximizing what works for them.

00:27:03.283 --> 00:27:05.653
There's always something else
they could do to improve it.

00:27:07.003 --> 00:27:10.123
So if what you're looking
for is more clients.

00:27:11.652 --> 00:27:14.233
Look at the area where you already
get most of your change work and make

00:27:14.233 --> 00:27:19.243
sure that you've really, um, you're
squeezing the most out of the referrals

00:27:19.243 --> 00:27:21.043
from your pre previous clients first.

00:27:22.362 --> 00:27:23.112
Speaker 2: Definitely.

00:27:25.303 --> 00:27:27.612
So, I'm gonna bounce back up now.

00:27:27.733 --> 00:27:31.693
Um, on the list, talking relationships.

00:27:32.023 --> 00:27:37.513
I recently worked with a Muslim
lady following an arranged marriage

00:27:37.572 --> 00:27:41.053
and divorce that caused her
to be disowned by her parents.

00:27:42.132 --> 00:27:45.793
Her male friend has proposed,
but she was in two minds because

00:27:45.793 --> 00:27:49.932
she liked the company, but a
new husband would expect more.

00:27:50.203 --> 00:27:51.372
How does she know that?

00:27:51.553 --> 00:27:51.912
Hmm.

00:27:52.033 --> 00:27:57.672
More what specifically she thought and
was worried she would let him down.

00:27:58.572 --> 00:28:02.682
How do you support clients whose
cultural identity is holding them back,

00:28:03.342 --> 00:28:05.203
especially when it comes to relationships.

00:28:06.193 --> 00:28:07.033
Speaker: My goodness.

00:28:07.033 --> 00:28:09.133
You guys have gone down
some rabbit holes on you.

00:28:11.623 --> 00:28:14.143
What is it we used to say about,
you know, sometimes we won't

00:28:14.143 --> 00:28:16.063
answer specific case studies.

00:28:16.483 --> 00:28:16.573
Yeah.

00:28:16.723 --> 00:28:18.598
'cause you need to be with
the person, but, okay.

00:28:18.598 --> 00:28:18.608
Yeah.

00:28:19.508 --> 00:28:19.798
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:28:21.373 --> 00:28:26.593
Now you see, one of the things I
love about what we do, you know,

00:28:26.593 --> 00:28:30.373
we've got a process, much like I
said, when we were talking about the,

00:28:31.063 --> 00:28:32.833
you know, the, the gender issues.

00:28:33.103 --> 00:28:34.363
We have a process.

00:28:35.143 --> 00:28:37.663
We don't even really need content, do we?

00:28:37.663 --> 00:28:41.293
If you think about it, we
could do it all content free as

00:28:41.293 --> 00:28:43.303
we're working with a process.

00:28:43.963 --> 00:28:50.233
And if you take the process, it
makes everything else we do so easy.

00:28:50.233 --> 00:28:52.808
And it's also one of the
reasons why we say, I.

00:28:53.638 --> 00:28:57.028
It's very difficult to
advise on specific issues.

00:28:57.268 --> 00:28:59.278
'cause you need the
person in front of you.

00:28:59.578 --> 00:29:02.788
You need to be calibrating,
you need to be listening for

00:29:02.968 --> 00:29:04.618
metaprograms modal operators.

00:29:05.608 --> 00:29:08.098
What exactly is it they're saying?

00:29:09.028 --> 00:29:16.018
Um, is she saying that she's worried
that if she gets married, the husband

00:29:16.018 --> 00:29:18.448
will expect things that she won't do?

00:29:19.078 --> 00:29:21.868
Um, I don't know.

00:29:21.868 --> 00:29:22.468
What is it?

00:29:22.678 --> 00:29:29.668
I I, there was a lovely Sikh lady who had
a, an amazing arranged Sikh marriage and

00:29:29.668 --> 00:29:31.408
unfortunately, and it was a love match.

00:29:31.468 --> 00:29:32.608
They adored each other.

00:29:33.388 --> 00:29:37.437
Her husband got killed in a car
crash and she fell in love with her

00:29:37.437 --> 00:29:40.468
husband's best friend who wasn't Sikh.

00:29:40.468 --> 00:29:41.218
He was white.

00:29:43.123 --> 00:29:46.332
And she got disowned by her
family, but she did marry him.

00:29:46.332 --> 00:29:49.633
And, and when the babies
came, the family forgave her.

00:29:50.443 --> 00:29:53.203
I know that's not necessarily
the case all the time.

00:29:54.493 --> 00:29:59.967
I think with all of these things, you have
to go with what your client gives you and

00:30:01.078 --> 00:30:05.293
by listening to them, they'll tell you
exactly what's going on in their head.

00:30:06.523 --> 00:30:12.253
And once you've heard what's really
happening, 'cause it's really

00:30:12.253 --> 00:30:19.873
difficult for us to diagnose from
your filtering out of what was said.

00:30:21.342 --> 00:30:26.413
So listen, pay attention to what's
happening and do the coaching, just

00:30:26.413 --> 00:30:30.113
as we've said with all the gender
issues with, with any coaching you do.

00:30:32.533 --> 00:30:33.763
Pay attention to the person.

00:30:33.763 --> 00:30:34.543
What do they want?

00:30:34.632 --> 00:30:36.132
How can you be of service?

00:30:37.122 --> 00:30:39.763
Speaker: But keep the questions
coming guys, by the way, don't.

00:30:39.808 --> 00:30:40.098
Okay.

00:30:40.098 --> 00:30:40.217
Yeah.

00:30:40.267 --> 00:30:42.132
Don't take that as us saying No, no, no.

00:30:42.132 --> 00:30:43.243
Don't send us these question.

00:30:43.543 --> 00:30:43.693
Speaker 2: No,

00:30:43.693 --> 00:30:44.053
Speaker: no, no.

00:30:44.053 --> 00:30:47.503
Because what, we'll, what we'll do is what
we, we've been doing all the way along.

00:30:47.562 --> 00:30:51.973
I'll, I'll point you back to the
NLP process and you know, the

00:30:52.003 --> 00:30:53.892
conditions of well-formed outcomes.

00:30:53.892 --> 00:30:54.163
Yeah.

00:30:54.163 --> 00:30:56.023
And go check the ecology.

00:30:56.322 --> 00:30:56.443
Yeah.

00:30:56.443 --> 00:30:58.243
Explore the ecology with them.

00:30:59.203 --> 00:31:01.213
You know, there's so many
things you could explore.

00:31:01.213 --> 00:31:03.642
Get them to explore timelines.

00:31:03.642 --> 00:31:06.013
Now, obviously we can't
predict the future, but they

00:31:06.013 --> 00:31:07.303
can get a sense of the future.

00:31:07.303 --> 00:31:12.642
Help guide them to make the right
choices and decisions for them, not

00:31:12.642 --> 00:31:15.493
the ones we think they should be doing.

00:31:15.798 --> 00:31:17.533
The, the choices they should be making.

00:31:17.533 --> 00:31:17.592
Hmm.

00:31:18.043 --> 00:31:23.082
Speaker 2: And regardless as to
cultural mismatch or whatever, or

00:31:23.082 --> 00:31:24.882
different cultures coming together.

00:31:26.143 --> 00:31:31.423
If she's worried about what his
expectations are of her and her not

00:31:31.423 --> 00:31:36.103
being able to fulfill them, I mean,
that could be all sorts of things.

00:31:36.103 --> 00:31:39.493
It could be her lack of
self-esteem, self-confidence.

00:31:39.493 --> 00:31:44.413
It could be stuff connected to
what happened with the arranged

00:31:44.413 --> 00:31:45.943
marriage that didn't work.

00:31:45.943 --> 00:31:49.873
There could be all sorts of things
in there, but until you talk to

00:31:49.873 --> 00:31:53.053
her and get this information, you
won't know what's going on in there.

00:31:53.293 --> 00:31:57.133
It may even be that actually she's
not meant to be with this person.

00:31:58.588 --> 00:32:00.987
Speaker: This is also something else
just occurred to me, especially with

00:32:00.987 --> 00:32:05.128
relationships, it is so important
to keep your map out of the way.

00:32:05.697 --> 00:32:05.878
Speaker 2: Oh

00:32:05.878 --> 00:32:06.058
Speaker: yeah.

00:32:06.058 --> 00:32:09.808
Um, because if you ever impose your
map and you get it wrong, guess Oh

00:32:09.898 --> 00:32:11.697
God, guess who's gonna be blamed?

00:32:11.697 --> 00:32:12.628
Yeah, absolutely.

00:32:12.628 --> 00:32:12.957
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:32:12.963 --> 00:32:13.152
Yeah.

00:32:13.227 --> 00:32:13.858
Speaker: Uh, yeah,

00:32:14.247 --> 00:32:17.007
Speaker 2: I, I mean I just think
it's fascinating that we've had two

00:32:17.007 --> 00:32:20.878
questions, two really good questions,
guys, and Yes, do keep them coming.

00:32:21.418 --> 00:32:27.237
One to do with like gender and
one to do with, um, related

00:32:27.507 --> 00:32:27.717
Speaker: identity.

00:32:27.717 --> 00:32:27.838
Yeah.

00:32:27.838 --> 00:32:28.767
Which is still the same thing.

00:32:28.767 --> 00:32:28.828
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:32:28.828 --> 00:32:30.102
Which is, and it's still the same thing.

00:32:30.328 --> 00:32:32.398
We're still looking at
identities, aren't we?

00:32:32.487 --> 00:32:36.477
You know, genders and identity, different
cultures are different identities.

00:32:36.747 --> 00:32:40.767
So those two questions could
actually have the same answer.

00:32:41.187 --> 00:32:41.487
Speaker: Yeah.

00:32:41.638 --> 00:32:43.527
And, and explore the logical levels.

00:32:43.527 --> 00:32:43.588
Yeah.

00:32:43.707 --> 00:32:44.068
Speaker 2: It's,

00:32:44.068 --> 00:32:45.477
Speaker: it's kind of
obvious, isn't it, really?

00:32:45.628 --> 00:32:48.358
You look at the identities that
you say identities hold them back,

00:32:48.358 --> 00:32:49.888
but what's supporting the identity?

00:32:50.368 --> 00:32:53.277
There'll be beliefs and
values and possibly conflicts.

00:32:53.638 --> 00:32:54.987
And sometimes those conflicts could.

00:32:55.842 --> 00:32:56.382
Just Right.

00:32:56.382 --> 00:32:57.463
That's part of the ecology.

00:32:58.842 --> 00:32:59.142
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:32:59.203 --> 00:33:02.082
And there'll be experiences
and strategies and all sorts

00:33:02.082 --> 00:33:03.342
of stuff going on down there.

00:33:03.348 --> 00:33:03.687
Speaker: Mm-hmm.

00:33:05.803 --> 00:33:06.312
Interesting.

00:33:06.312 --> 00:33:06.322
Interesting.

00:33:06.882 --> 00:33:07.243
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:33:10.062 --> 00:33:10.632
Are you ready?

00:33:10.693 --> 00:33:11.203
This is for you.

00:33:12.043 --> 00:33:14.293
I do like to give you your fair share.

00:33:14.892 --> 00:33:15.402
Thank you.

00:33:15.618 --> 00:33:16.513
You are welcome.

00:33:17.082 --> 00:33:23.832
Having read, think and Grow Rich, I love
the fact that successful networks uphold

00:33:23.832 --> 00:33:26.892
the laws of the universe and givers gain.

00:33:28.138 --> 00:33:29.187
Certainly resonate.

00:33:29.217 --> 00:33:33.628
Oh, give us gain certainly
resonates with me, however, but

00:33:33.747 --> 00:33:34.888
you, I just forget about what.

00:33:34.888 --> 00:33:34.977
Mm-hmm.

00:33:35.217 --> 00:33:35.277
Speaker: Yeah.

00:33:35.697 --> 00:33:36.807
Let's delete all that out.

00:33:36.807 --> 00:33:37.678
Speaker 2: Just delete all that.

00:33:37.858 --> 00:33:39.212
Now we, the nitty gritty,

00:33:40.737 --> 00:33:41.878
Speaker: this is the reality.

00:33:41.878 --> 00:33:41.997
Yeah.

00:33:43.168 --> 00:33:44.487
Speaker 2: Um, about the

00:33:47.217 --> 00:33:48.297
Speaker: reciprocity.

00:33:48.358 --> 00:33:48.898
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:33:49.072 --> 00:33:49.493
Mm-hmm.

00:33:50.217 --> 00:33:53.098
But Steve talked about this
month my current networking data

00:33:53.098 --> 00:33:56.007
shows that I've given far more
referrals than I've received.

00:33:56.638 --> 00:34:00.928
My belief is that I am gaining via
referrals from clients who know my work.

00:34:01.602 --> 00:34:07.123
In two minds about whether formal paid
networking is for me in the longer term.

00:34:07.543 --> 00:34:11.263
Just wondering if you've ever
joined a formal networking group

00:34:11.473 --> 00:34:13.393
and how well it worked for you.

00:34:14.983 --> 00:34:16.573
Speaker: Okay, so I'll pick that one up.

00:34:16.573 --> 00:34:19.573
So the real question is just
wondering if you've ever joined

00:34:19.573 --> 00:34:20.683
a formal networking group.

00:34:20.683 --> 00:34:21.913
The answer is yes.

00:34:22.693 --> 00:34:23.383
A couple.

00:34:23.503 --> 00:34:23.773
Yeah.

00:34:23.773 --> 00:34:25.663
And how well it worked for you.

00:34:26.503 --> 00:34:32.593
Well, the wellness of that is based
upon, um, how much work I got from

00:34:32.593 --> 00:34:33.913
it, which wasn't a great deal.

00:34:34.363 --> 00:34:40.678
Um, so the first networking
group was nearly 20 years ago.

00:34:40.788 --> 00:34:43.753
It's one of these breakfast
things we had to turn up every

00:34:43.753 --> 00:34:45.763
month for a breakfast meeting.

00:34:45.763 --> 00:34:47.833
And, and by the way, it
turned out for a month.

00:34:49.873 --> 00:34:51.883
It doesn't sound like a lot,
but it seemed like a lot.

00:34:51.883 --> 00:34:52.003
Yeah.

00:34:52.003 --> 00:34:52.543
Once a month.

00:34:53.233 --> 00:34:55.243
Back then, it seemed like
a real, real commitment.

00:34:55.783 --> 00:35:00.313
Um, what was really interesting in
my experience back then, um, and

00:35:00.313 --> 00:35:02.683
there could only, in this particular
networking group, there could only be

00:35:02.683 --> 00:35:04.573
one person in a particular industry.

00:35:05.083 --> 00:35:07.873
So you weren't competed against
other people in, in the group.

00:35:08.653 --> 00:35:13.813
Um, everyone was really interested
and I think this is just the specific

00:35:13.813 --> 00:35:16.543
network because I'm not saying this is
general because I know there are other

00:35:16.633 --> 00:35:19.603
networks that, um, may, may well work.

00:35:19.603 --> 00:35:22.003
This is just my experience, which
is the answer to the question.

00:35:22.603 --> 00:35:23.083
Um.

00:35:24.118 --> 00:35:26.908
I was being pitched and
sold to by everybody.

00:35:27.448 --> 00:35:27.778
Yeah.

00:35:28.228 --> 00:35:29.368
Which is why we are there.

00:35:29.458 --> 00:35:29.758
Yeah.

00:35:29.758 --> 00:35:30.238
To, yeah.

00:35:30.283 --> 00:35:30.573
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:35:30.578 --> 00:35:32.728
Speaker: But actually I, I thought
we were there to collaborate

00:35:32.728 --> 00:35:33.988
and support each other.

00:35:34.288 --> 00:35:34.588
Yeah.

00:35:35.338 --> 00:35:39.598
Um, but the reciprocity certainly
didn't seem to be there, not

00:35:39.598 --> 00:35:40.918
with that particular group.

00:35:41.488 --> 00:35:45.928
Now I did have a better experience
with a networking group,

00:35:45.928 --> 00:35:47.728
which was a local authority.

00:35:47.908 --> 00:35:51.478
In fact, two of them actually,
um, oh, actually I just

00:35:51.478 --> 00:35:52.888
remembered actually saying this.

00:35:52.888 --> 00:35:56.278
I did a lot of networking before
I got into coaching, and that

00:35:56.278 --> 00:35:58.078
was with, um, Merton Council.

00:35:59.248 --> 00:36:03.808
Um, back in those days it was
run by a local group and they

00:36:03.808 --> 00:36:05.698
actually had a really good network.

00:36:06.088 --> 00:36:09.268
And I did get a lot of, uh,
this was it support work.

00:36:09.388 --> 00:36:13.588
You know, I had of, one of my
companies was an IT company, um,

00:36:13.918 --> 00:36:15.388
but we were quite a big fish.

00:36:16.228 --> 00:36:22.138
Um, in that pond back in those days,
um, we employed about 12 people, so

00:36:22.168 --> 00:36:23.758
quite a big employee in the area.

00:36:24.208 --> 00:36:26.098
So I got a quite a bit of work from that.

00:36:26.818 --> 00:36:29.908
Um, but there was a different vibe
about that, that was very, very

00:36:29.908 --> 00:36:33.238
supportive and very collaborative, and
that was, that was kind of led by the

00:36:33.238 --> 00:36:34.618
people that were running the network.

00:36:35.308 --> 00:36:39.778
Um, the other more positive one
I had recently as a coach was

00:36:39.778 --> 00:36:44.998
with, uh, Kingston, Kingston,
uh, chamber of Commerce.

00:36:45.568 --> 00:36:45.688
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

00:36:46.678 --> 00:36:49.498
Speaker: Uh, but, but that did
change actually because it became

00:36:49.498 --> 00:36:55.828
less of a, a local, uh, community,
collaborative community and more of

00:36:55.858 --> 00:37:00.778
like a London Borough run type thing.

00:37:01.138 --> 00:37:04.918
So I think it all depends upon the
people that are running the network.

00:37:06.463 --> 00:37:07.663
That's been my experience.

00:37:07.663 --> 00:37:11.383
If they are really into supporting
collaboration, they kind of lead

00:37:11.383 --> 00:37:14.623
from the top and everyone wants
to know about everybody else.

00:37:14.623 --> 00:37:16.693
And you get the chance
to get up and present.

00:37:16.698 --> 00:37:20.293
And, and I go back to the, to
the, the first question about,

00:37:20.413 --> 00:37:22.543
um, referrals and promotion.

00:37:23.803 --> 00:37:29.413
With networking, if you get the chance
to demonstrate what you do, grab it.

00:37:29.413 --> 00:37:30.433
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

00:37:30.523 --> 00:37:30.853
Speaker: Yeah.

00:37:30.973 --> 00:37:32.953
Rather than just talking about it.

00:37:33.973 --> 00:37:34.303
Yeah.

00:37:34.363 --> 00:37:39.673
If you get the chance to get somebody
to stand up and do something, grab it.

00:37:40.033 --> 00:37:42.613
Oh, actually, I just remembered
one networking experience,

00:37:42.643 --> 00:37:44.203
which was absolutely phenomenal.

00:37:45.018 --> 00:37:48.463
So, so it, this tells you that some
of the disasters and some, some

00:37:48.463 --> 00:37:51.433
are great, but it was a, it was
a LinkedIn entrepreneurs group.

00:37:51.433 --> 00:37:55.453
I was invited to be the guest
speaker and it was a private

00:37:55.453 --> 00:37:58.783
members club up in, um, Mayfair.

00:37:59.533 --> 00:38:01.273
And I turned up at this.

00:38:02.473 --> 00:38:04.483
Beautiful Georgian building.

00:38:04.543 --> 00:38:10.163
It had a massive door and you opened it
and it was a, it was a very weird club.

00:38:10.603 --> 00:38:14.023
It was a big room that had a
spaceship in the middle as a bar.

00:38:14.233 --> 00:38:14.893
Okay.

00:38:14.983 --> 00:38:15.853
It was pretty cool.

00:38:15.883 --> 00:38:16.123
Yeah.

00:38:16.603 --> 00:38:22.333
Um, and I had 15 minutes to do
a give a talk and these were

00:38:22.333 --> 00:38:23.773
all LinkedIn entrepreneurs.

00:38:24.103 --> 00:38:26.893
So 15 minutes, what am I gonna do?

00:38:26.893 --> 00:38:28.963
I need to do something that's a bit, wow.

00:38:29.803 --> 00:38:34.153
Uh, I, I, I really can't recall
what I did and now, but 15 minutes,

00:38:34.153 --> 00:38:35.233
you've gotta make an impact.

00:38:35.803 --> 00:38:39.013
So I remember I had the mic, um, and
I did something to do with hypnosis.

00:38:39.013 --> 00:38:39.193
Yeah.

00:38:39.253 --> 00:38:39.583
That's it.

00:38:39.673 --> 00:38:41.293
I did a fast induction on, so on.

00:38:41.293 --> 00:38:42.583
So it's all business people.

00:38:42.583 --> 00:38:43.603
You've gotta get their attention.

00:38:44.113 --> 00:38:45.673
So I just did a very fast induction.

00:38:45.673 --> 00:38:49.633
Did something about, yeah, imagine
in the future, finished the 15

00:38:49.633 --> 00:38:52.933
minutes, talked a little bit about
the power of the mind, et cetera,

00:38:53.653 --> 00:38:55.633
and there were 50 people in the room.

00:38:57.192 --> 00:38:59.712
You couldn't get more than 50 in this
particular room, but it was about

00:38:59.712 --> 00:39:01.752
150 people in the, in the event.

00:39:01.752 --> 00:39:01.962
Yeah.

00:39:02.203 --> 00:39:06.493
Most were just mingling and,
and drinking and passing cards.

00:39:07.453 --> 00:39:10.723
And then the um, guy who set it
all up came up to me, took the

00:39:10.723 --> 00:39:13.993
mic and said, well, we normally
do 15 minutes, but I'm fascinated.

00:39:13.993 --> 00:39:14.833
Would you do more?

00:39:14.863 --> 00:39:15.703
And I went, yeah, sure.

00:39:15.703 --> 00:39:16.153
I'll keep going.

00:39:16.153 --> 00:39:17.323
Does everyone want Steve to carry on?

00:39:17.383 --> 00:39:17.923
Yeah.

00:39:18.462 --> 00:39:21.973
So I carried on and like an hour and a
half later, I'm now doing a stage show.

00:39:23.653 --> 00:39:25.093
It's turned into a stage show.

00:39:25.573 --> 00:39:28.573
Um, but I was just taking
questions and answers.

00:39:28.573 --> 00:39:29.022
Yeah.

00:39:29.022 --> 00:39:29.473
And.

00:39:29.928 --> 00:39:31.423
That, that was a good experience.

00:39:31.423 --> 00:39:33.403
I've got a ton of work out of that.

00:39:33.493 --> 00:39:36.163
Actually got some work on
Sky TV as a result of that.

00:39:36.643 --> 00:39:40.002
So I think it's just, you've
gotta look for the right groups.

00:39:40.123 --> 00:39:40.453
Yeah.

00:39:40.458 --> 00:39:40.498
Yeah.

00:39:40.663 --> 00:39:41.982
That really collaborate.

00:39:41.982 --> 00:39:45.433
You know, I wouldn't, you know, take
one experience and generalize it to all.

00:39:46.212 --> 00:39:47.593
Uh, that would be my answer to that.

00:39:47.593 --> 00:39:49.453
So yeah, bit of a mixed bag.

00:39:49.603 --> 00:39:53.772
I've not found it to be the most
effective return on my time.

00:39:54.793 --> 00:40:03.793
Uh, that's been my experience, but only if
I'm not given the chance to demonstrate.

00:40:04.603 --> 00:40:04.692
Yeah.

00:40:04.692 --> 00:40:09.853
I grab every opportunity
to demonstrate what I do.

00:40:10.813 --> 00:40:12.073
That turns into work.

00:40:12.522 --> 00:40:12.823
Yeah.

00:40:15.013 --> 00:40:15.433
Speaker 2: Perfect.

00:40:15.433 --> 00:40:19.692
I mean, I've, I've, I've never
joined any of these breakfast clubs.

00:40:19.692 --> 00:40:23.053
I've been invited many times
and I did go along twice to

00:40:23.053 --> 00:40:24.703
two different clubs locally.

00:40:26.008 --> 00:40:28.768
It just didn't feel right to
me, so I just didn't bother.

00:40:28.828 --> 00:40:30.448
Speaker: And you're not a
morning person, are you?

00:40:30.838 --> 00:40:31.348
Speaker 2: I'm not a morning person.

00:40:31.348 --> 00:40:31.468
Every

00:40:31.468 --> 00:40:33.193
Speaker: time you zoom in
the morning, it's like,

00:40:34.663 --> 00:40:36.113
Speaker 2: yeah, no, go
and have your coffee.

00:40:36.213 --> 00:40:36.838
I'm not morning person.

00:40:37.048 --> 00:40:38.578
This is why when we train

00:40:38.908 --> 00:40:39.118
Speaker: guys,

00:40:39.118 --> 00:40:39.598
Speaker 2: you see this?

00:40:40.408 --> 00:40:40.768
I do

00:40:41.038 --> 00:40:42.658
Speaker: crab eat till I get my coffee.

00:40:42.658 --> 00:40:43.228
Speaker 2: I said, get

00:40:43.228 --> 00:40:45.868
Speaker: you, you one of these.

00:40:45.988 --> 00:40:46.228
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:40:46.273 --> 00:40:46.513
Yeah.

00:40:46.738 --> 00:40:49.348
I, I've actually got a cup
that was bought for me.

00:40:49.348 --> 00:40:53.008
And, and at at the top it says, shh.

00:40:54.118 --> 00:40:56.428
And then there's a little
line that says not yet.

00:40:56.428 --> 00:40:59.098
And then when you get to the bottom of
the cup, it says, now you may speak,

00:41:02.278 --> 00:41:06.928
yeah, know Molly, but I did go to a
couple of these, didn't feel right for me.

00:41:07.378 --> 00:41:10.588
Um, Gloria, the, the
covering psychotherapist,

00:41:10.948 --> 00:41:13.048
she joined loads of these.

00:41:13.228 --> 00:41:20.428
Um, and I know she did get quite a lot
of work, but the work came from, um.

00:41:20.953 --> 00:41:23.893
Going to, uh, lu a lunch club.

00:41:24.403 --> 00:41:30.313
So she'd go along to this lunch club and
they'd have different people come in and

00:41:30.313 --> 00:41:36.583
do presentations for like 40 minutes to
a group of professionals having lunch.

00:41:37.513 --> 00:41:40.303
Um, and she'd go to that lunch club
and she'd got loads of work from there.

00:41:40.753 --> 00:41:42.073
Speaker: Was she doing the presenting?

00:41:42.403 --> 00:41:43.243
Speaker 2: She was, yeah.

00:41:43.248 --> 00:41:43.398
Yeah,

00:41:43.403 --> 00:41:43.723
Speaker: yeah.

00:41:43.723 --> 00:41:45.133
See, I think that's the
difference, isn't it?

00:41:45.133 --> 00:41:47.833
Because when you're doing the
presenting, you are already

00:41:47.833 --> 00:41:49.333
established as the authority.

00:41:49.603 --> 00:41:49.993
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:41:50.713 --> 00:41:51.043
Speaker: Yeah.

00:41:51.613 --> 00:41:55.273
So there's, there's something there
about, you're already perceived to be

00:41:55.273 --> 00:41:57.463
somebody that's worth paying attention to.

00:41:58.003 --> 00:42:01.873
Speaker 2: And I think this was a,
this was like a, a business group.

00:42:02.833 --> 00:42:06.493
Uh, I mean, Gloria's from Southampton, so
it's got to be in the Southampton area.

00:42:06.823 --> 00:42:10.393
And they would have different
people come in periodically

00:42:10.393 --> 00:42:12.373
and do like a lunchtime talk.

00:42:12.378 --> 00:42:12.408
Speaker: Hmm.

00:42:13.603 --> 00:42:16.303
Speaker 2: They'd do a 40 minute talk
while everybody was eating their lunch.

00:42:16.363 --> 00:42:18.313
And she said she got a
lot of business from that.

00:42:19.003 --> 00:42:19.183
Speaker: Yeah.

00:42:19.183 --> 00:42:19.573
See that.

00:42:19.573 --> 00:42:22.963
So there's also slightly different
dynamics to that, to some of the other

00:42:22.963 --> 00:42:27.373
networking events I've been where people
have already paid to go to listen to

00:42:27.373 --> 00:42:29.383
someone and do a bit of networking.

00:42:29.983 --> 00:42:33.583
So, you know, you've got that benefit
of being the person that stands up and

00:42:33.583 --> 00:42:35.443
you've got a captive audience already.

00:42:36.403 --> 00:42:39.283
They've, they've paid to listen
to you over their chicken dinner.

00:42:39.288 --> 00:42:39.428
Yeah.

00:42:39.643 --> 00:42:39.853
Yeah.

00:42:41.503 --> 00:42:42.463
Chicken in the basket.

00:42:42.523 --> 00:42:42.733
Yeah.

00:42:43.573 --> 00:42:46.513
Speaker 2: That said, why don't you
just remind me one of these breakfast

00:42:46.513 --> 00:42:52.123
clubs belonged to the local, um, are
they the, called the Lions or something?

00:42:52.123 --> 00:42:56.533
They, they do stuff for charity anyway,
they were having a dinner and they

00:42:56.533 --> 00:43:01.093
invited me to go along and be their
speaker and I got loads of work from that.

00:43:01.903 --> 00:43:02.143
Speaker: Mm.

00:43:02.593 --> 00:43:02.803
Yeah,

00:43:03.133 --> 00:43:03.703
Speaker 2: same thing.

00:43:03.703 --> 00:43:05.863
I'm the authority, I'm
the one that's talking.

00:43:05.863 --> 00:43:06.253
Speaker: Yeah.

00:43:06.553 --> 00:43:06.913
Yeah.

00:43:06.913 --> 00:43:09.013
And, and make sure that
you give them a Wow.

00:43:09.103 --> 00:43:12.703
I remember Michael o'
Neil, um, it was on a.

00:43:13.648 --> 00:43:16.768
Coaching or hypnosis,
I can't remember now.

00:43:17.248 --> 00:43:21.688
Uh, but do you remember him saying,
okay, everybody go out to the assistant

00:43:21.688 --> 00:43:23.308
team, they're gonna give you a wow party.

00:43:23.308 --> 00:43:26.308
And I remember all the assistants
coming and going, what's a wow party?

00:43:26.308 --> 00:43:29.188
I went, I guess we're just
gonna make 'em feel, wow.

00:43:29.278 --> 00:43:32.038
You know, I wasn't listening.

00:43:32.038 --> 00:43:32.218
Yeah.

00:43:33.868 --> 00:43:36.128
A lesson to machine Pay attention.

00:43:36.208 --> 00:43:36.448
Yeah.

00:43:36.688 --> 00:43:37.678
Pay attention.

00:43:38.128 --> 00:43:41.728
Um, and it was a case of they come
out and you do a bit bit of quick

00:43:41.728 --> 00:43:43.438
work, change work with somebody.

00:43:43.768 --> 00:43:43.978
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:43:43.978 --> 00:43:45.208
Speaker: Where they go, wow.

00:43:45.808 --> 00:43:46.168
Speaker 2: Mm.

00:43:46.438 --> 00:43:50.158
Speaker: You gotta make sure that
you give them that wow experience.

00:43:50.368 --> 00:43:54.723
So they go, wow, this is something that's
worth painting if you do not always

00:43:54.723 --> 00:43:55.888
Speaker 2: makes them feeling good.

00:43:55.978 --> 00:43:56.398
Speaker: Yeah.

00:43:56.398 --> 00:44:01.618
If you do not get the attention, you don't
have the privilege to then, you know, make

00:44:01.618 --> 00:44:05.728
them interested and build up the desire
for them to go, oh, I wanna know more.

00:44:06.028 --> 00:44:06.358
Yeah.

00:44:06.808 --> 00:44:07.078
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:44:08.638 --> 00:44:10.138
Right next one.

00:44:10.198 --> 00:44:12.778
Ooh, congratulations Tina.

00:44:12.928 --> 00:44:13.948
Thank you very much.

00:44:14.548 --> 00:44:17.368
It's great to read that your
painless childbirth book is

00:44:17.368 --> 00:44:19.228
now being enjoyed in French.

00:44:19.378 --> 00:44:19.828
Haha.

00:44:19.948 --> 00:44:20.128
Did you

00:44:20.128 --> 00:44:21.268
Speaker: write this one yourself?

00:44:22.483 --> 00:44:22.703
Speaker 2: No.

00:44:23.758 --> 00:44:23.788
Speaker: Okay.

00:44:23.788 --> 00:44:23.938
Right.

00:44:25.948 --> 00:44:28.948
Speaker 2: What's your advice
to clinical hypnotherapy diploma

00:44:28.948 --> 00:44:34.258
graduates who would like to niche
in this area but are up against

00:44:34.318 --> 00:44:34.738
Speaker: niche?

00:44:35.428 --> 00:44:35.638
Speaker 2: Ni?

00:44:35.638 --> 00:44:36.418
Is it niche

00:44:36.508 --> 00:44:37.708
Speaker: because it rhymes with rich.

00:44:38.733 --> 00:44:39.023
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:44:39.298 --> 00:44:45.208
Niche in this area, but are up against
the hypnobirthing franchise worldwide.

00:44:46.228 --> 00:44:47.278
So yes.

00:44:47.278 --> 00:44:51.268
For those that don't know, there is a
franchise out there called Hypnobirthing.

00:44:52.798 --> 00:45:02.458
Um, and I teach my way of doing painless
childbirth, which incorporates NLP Design,

00:45:02.458 --> 00:45:04.468
human Engineering, and hypnotherapy.

00:45:05.803 --> 00:45:12.493
I suppose so this Hypnobirthing franchise
has been out there a long time and I

00:45:12.493 --> 00:45:17.953
was in the UK running my classes and my
book had been published and, and I got

00:45:17.953 --> 00:45:23.713
contacted by this woman called Mickey
Mongan, this American woman who is the

00:45:23.713 --> 00:45:29.203
founder of the Hypnobirthing franchise,
and she invited me to go meet with her

00:45:30.283 --> 00:45:32.923
and she was running a course at St.

00:45:32.923 --> 00:45:36.013
St Thomas's, at Tommy's,
I think in London.

00:45:36.493 --> 00:45:39.403
Anyway, there were all sorts
of people going to this course,

00:45:41.442 --> 00:45:45.883
and I went along and she let me
sit in on her course, which I

00:45:45.883 --> 00:45:47.323
thought was very generous of her.

00:45:47.442 --> 00:45:49.213
I got to see what she taught.

00:45:50.233 --> 00:45:51.613
Um hmm.

00:45:51.643 --> 00:45:56.743
That was very generous of her, and it
also led me to identify the differences

00:45:57.523 --> 00:46:00.942
between what she teaches and what I teach.

00:46:02.638 --> 00:46:09.838
So when people ring me up and say,
um, some of them would say, well,

00:46:09.838 --> 00:46:11.068
I've seen that there's hypnobirthing.

00:46:11.758 --> 00:46:12.898
Do you do hypnobirthing?

00:46:15.028 --> 00:46:17.398
Or they might just ring up and
say, I understand you work with

00:46:17.398 --> 00:46:18.898
people that are gonna have babies.

00:46:18.898 --> 00:46:19.438
Do you do hypnobirthing?

00:46:20.578 --> 00:46:24.718
Now, the first answer that I
have to give is, no, I'm not

00:46:24.718 --> 00:46:26.608
part of that, that franchise.

00:46:28.138 --> 00:46:32.548
What I would say is something along
the lines of, um, I teach women how to

00:46:32.548 --> 00:46:34.318
have a painless childbirth experience.

00:46:34.348 --> 00:46:38.248
It's not called hypno birthday
because Mickey Mongan has

00:46:38.248 --> 00:46:40.438
tried to trademark the name.

00:46:41.548 --> 00:46:45.208
Uh, she failed, but I still
don't say I do hypnobirthing.

00:46:46.078 --> 00:46:52.318
So I teach women how to have
painless childbirth and the

00:46:52.318 --> 00:46:54.568
classes and the way that it works.

00:46:56.248 --> 00:46:59.608
Is we teach them how to
access what they already have.

00:47:00.268 --> 00:47:03.628
Now, Miki is all tied up in scripts.

00:47:04.588 --> 00:47:10.318
So if you are a hypnobirthing person,
you are given a load of scripts that

00:47:10.318 --> 00:47:14.338
you read to your class for the first
week, and then there are four weeks,

00:47:14.338 --> 00:47:17.038
and then the next week you read the
next lot of scripts and the next lot.

00:47:17.038 --> 00:47:17.608
And the next lot.

00:47:17.878 --> 00:47:24.418
So everything is scripted Now as
neers, we know better than that

00:47:24.688 --> 00:47:29.818
and we know how to create what
our audience and our clients need.

00:47:30.808 --> 00:47:35.458
So when I ran my job, birth classes,
everything we did was what they

00:47:35.458 --> 00:47:37.228
happen to need at that point in time.

00:47:37.318 --> 00:47:38.368
It wasn't scripted.

00:47:39.568 --> 00:47:44.488
Now, there are scripts in my book, but I
even say in my book, this is to give you

00:47:44.488 --> 00:47:46.678
an idea of the things that you can do.

00:47:47.788 --> 00:47:49.063
So we teach, uh.

00:47:49.618 --> 00:47:55.438
Our students, how to use what they have,
how to anchor good feelings, how to

00:47:55.438 --> 00:48:00.898
collapse bad anchors, all those NYLPI
things that Mickey Mongan doesn't have.

00:48:02.188 --> 00:48:02.848
Speaker: What's her name?

00:48:03.808 --> 00:48:04.708
Speaker 2: Mickey Mongan.

00:48:04.768 --> 00:48:06.958
M-O-N-G-A-N.

00:48:11.248 --> 00:48:13.618
Speaker: This the sort of
stuff I gee geek out on

00:48:15.763 --> 00:48:16.903
Mickey Mongo.

00:48:17.463 --> 00:48:21.298
Speaker 2: I, I mean, I got, so I got to
go to this class and it was fascinating,

00:48:22.408 --> 00:48:26.578
um, watching her basically just,

00:48:26.578 --> 00:48:27.538
Speaker: it was Marie Mongo,

00:48:28.588 --> 00:48:29.488
Speaker 2: is it Mary?

00:48:29.488 --> 00:48:29.758
It was

00:48:30.358 --> 00:48:30.688
Speaker: Marie.

00:48:30.688 --> 00:48:30.698
Marie.

00:48:31.138 --> 00:48:31.318
Speaker 2: Marie.

00:48:31.318 --> 00:48:33.118
It was definitely Mickey
Mongan, obviously.

00:48:33.418 --> 00:48:33.658
Oh, probably,

00:48:37.783 --> 00:48:38.073
Speaker: yeah.

00:48:39.053 --> 00:48:39.473
Bering.

00:48:39.473 --> 00:48:40.588
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:40.588 --> 00:48:42.418
That's probably a nickname.

00:48:42.508 --> 00:48:42.778
Yeah.

00:48:43.948 --> 00:48:47.458
Speaker 2: Um, yeah, it was,
it was all very script driven.

00:48:49.183 --> 00:48:50.593
There was no leeway.

00:48:51.103 --> 00:48:51.793
Um,

00:48:54.522 --> 00:48:56.022
yeah, it just fascinated me.

00:48:56.563 --> 00:49:00.643
And somebody actually said, said,
well, uh, she said, and this, this

00:49:00.643 --> 00:49:03.823
is the time when you deal with
all their fears and anxieties.

00:49:03.823 --> 00:49:06.133
And somebody said, what if they
don't have fears and anxieties?

00:49:06.133 --> 00:49:08.442
She said, everybody has
fears and anxieties.

00:49:09.732 --> 00:49:11.022
And I'm thinking, Hmm.

00:49:12.313 --> 00:49:15.343
But obviously she's, she's
coming from a different system.

00:49:15.343 --> 00:49:20.113
She's, she's done, she's actually done,
um, some Ericksonian hypnosis stuff.

00:49:22.002 --> 00:49:24.823
Um, yeah, it's just two different ways of.

00:49:25.558 --> 00:49:26.428
Doing the same thing.

00:49:26.758 --> 00:49:27.808
Speaker: Yeah, it's interesting.

00:49:27.813 --> 00:49:31.528
I, I mean, I just, you can probably tell
that I, I am paying attention, but I'm

00:49:31.528 --> 00:49:33.868
actually doing some Google, Google search.

00:49:33.873 --> 00:49:34.003
I know

00:49:34.003 --> 00:49:34.643
Speaker 2: you're Googling.

00:49:34.883 --> 00:49:35.083
Speaker: Yeah.

00:49:35.443 --> 00:49:36.898
I mean, I, I dive into this.

00:49:36.898 --> 00:49:40.978
I, like, I would wanna know
everything about the Hypnobirth

00:49:40.978 --> 00:49:42.418
and International franchise.

00:49:42.478 --> 00:49:42.508
Mm.

00:49:43.168 --> 00:49:46.768
To see what they're doing,
what works, so I can model it

00:49:46.768 --> 00:49:48.718
as, um, put my own spin on it.

00:49:49.318 --> 00:49:56.848
Um, there are 492,000 Google searches,
um, and I'm certainly for the uk

00:49:56.878 --> 00:50:02.548
and I'd be surprised if all of them
select Hypnobirth in international.

00:50:03.028 --> 00:50:05.548
Um, so there's, there's this huge market.

00:50:07.348 --> 00:50:08.788
Speaker 2: There's an enormous market now.

00:50:08.788 --> 00:50:16.678
She tried to trademark Hypnobirthing
and she failed, um, which I'm rather

00:50:16.768 --> 00:50:20.338
thankful for because I'm going
to Italy the beginning of June.

00:50:20.968 --> 00:50:25.498
Um, and in Italy they're telling
everybody that I'm teaching

00:50:25.503 --> 00:50:29.053
hypnobirthing and I'm like, well, I'm
not actually teaching hypnobirthing.

00:50:29.698 --> 00:50:32.488
And they're going, well, you are
teaching hypnosis and birthing.

00:50:34.138 --> 00:50:34.468
Speaker: Yeah.

00:50:34.648 --> 00:50:37.318
But the, the, the question that
they ask is, what's your advice to

00:50:37.318 --> 00:50:41.968
clinical hypnotherapy diploma s who
would like to niche in this area Yeah.

00:50:41.968 --> 00:50:44.848
But are up against the hypnobirth
in franchise worldwide.

00:50:45.238 --> 00:50:47.788
So your niche Okay.

00:50:48.328 --> 00:50:51.538
Can be a big number of people.

00:50:51.598 --> 00:50:52.918
A large number of people.

00:50:52.978 --> 00:50:53.158
Yes.

00:50:53.158 --> 00:50:53.458
Yeah.

00:50:54.088 --> 00:50:59.368
So one, if there's somebody out there
who seems to be dominating the market and

00:50:59.368 --> 00:51:03.568
smashing it, it tells you that there's
a, there's a market which is good.

00:51:03.808 --> 00:51:03.988
Yeah.

00:51:03.988 --> 00:51:04.618
You want that?

00:51:04.768 --> 00:51:05.038
Yeah.

00:51:05.308 --> 00:51:07.798
Speaker 2: So there is an
enormous market for this.

00:51:08.158 --> 00:51:08.428
Speaker: Yeah.

00:51:08.833 --> 00:51:13.918
And you, you wanna differentiate
yourself from a face, this franchise.

00:51:14.863 --> 00:51:17.683
That's another way to look at that
and, you know, really make sure

00:51:17.683 --> 00:51:20.533
that you're given, uh, one way to
look at, it's to give themself a

00:51:21.163 --> 00:51:23.203
offer, which is very personable.

00:51:23.518 --> 00:51:27.853
You know, you be the person and
build rapport rather than go

00:51:27.853 --> 00:51:28.993
and working with a franchise.

00:51:30.013 --> 00:51:34.393
You know, I mean, this is an area
where I will have no experience

00:51:34.393 --> 00:51:40.513
whatsoever in terms of coaching
people, um, around painless childbirth.

00:51:40.633 --> 00:51:44.683
Um, I have coached people
around, um, conceiving, um, but

00:51:44.683 --> 00:51:45.883
that was a long, long time ago.

00:51:46.663 --> 00:51:49.273
Um, but it's about running the business.

00:51:49.873 --> 00:51:50.383
Speaker 2: It is,

00:51:50.563 --> 00:51:50.863
Speaker: yeah.

00:51:51.703 --> 00:51:56.923
So do the research, find out as much
about them as you possibly can, but

00:51:56.923 --> 00:52:01.003
make sure you put your spin on it so
that people have got rapport with you

00:52:01.003 --> 00:52:04.453
rather than with just a, a franchisee.

00:52:05.678 --> 00:52:09.763
Speaker 2: And I, and I always say,
and I don't, I mean I'm delivering

00:52:09.823 --> 00:52:14.203
pain, uh, techniques and methodologies
which can enable you to have a

00:52:14.203 --> 00:52:16.093
more comfortable birth experience.

00:52:16.543 --> 00:52:20.712
I don't say that I'm teaching
hypnobirthing because there

00:52:20.712 --> 00:52:24.103
is a hypnobirthing model out
there, and that's not what I do.

00:52:25.002 --> 00:52:26.923
And I go, well, how is yours different?

00:52:26.923 --> 00:52:32.203
And I say, well, mine is different because
I utilize neurolinguistic programming.

00:52:32.442 --> 00:52:35.263
I've designed human engineering
and I know you dunno what that is.

00:52:36.763 --> 00:52:37.962
Let me tell you.

00:52:38.293 --> 00:52:43.813
Using those techniques means that I can
teach you so much easier how you can

00:52:43.813 --> 00:52:47.803
access the state you need to be in when
you're giving birth, how you can get

00:52:47.803 --> 00:52:52.212
rid of any negativity or any worries
you've got about the birth and how you

00:52:52.212 --> 00:52:57.163
can build something that will not only
help you have a painless childbirth, but

00:52:57.163 --> 00:52:58.903
you can use for the rest of your life.

00:53:02.383 --> 00:53:03.553
That usually works.

00:53:04.393 --> 00:53:04.903
Speaker: Mic drop.

00:53:06.828 --> 00:53:07.118
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:53:10.453 --> 00:53:10.663
Yeah.

00:53:12.583 --> 00:53:15.192
So, oh look, here's one for both of us.

00:53:16.692 --> 00:53:20.232
Um, having learned an LPN
hypnosis with a view to changing

00:53:20.232 --> 00:53:22.303
careers, I'm still working.

00:53:23.083 --> 00:53:25.243
My change work is more like a hobby.

00:53:26.232 --> 00:53:30.613
What's your advice to someone who
is ready to become self-employed

00:53:31.063 --> 00:53:34.243
but remaining employed for security?

00:53:36.703 --> 00:53:37.633
Do you wanna go first?

00:53:40.843 --> 00:53:46.962
Speaker: Well, I've got no advice really,
um, because that would be imposing my

00:53:46.962 --> 00:53:49.543
map upon your decision making process.

00:53:49.548 --> 00:53:49.678
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:53:51.748 --> 00:53:55.798
Speaker: What we would explore
is what would have to happen in

00:53:55.798 --> 00:53:57.208
order for you to feel secure.

00:53:57.448 --> 00:54:01.653
Well, first of all, is this what you
really, really, really want in order for

00:54:01.653 --> 00:54:04.978
it to become, uh, a full-time business?

00:54:05.728 --> 00:54:09.598
Do you know how to run a full-time
business and run a profitable business?

00:54:09.628 --> 00:54:12.418
'cause 80% of business owners don't.

00:54:12.538 --> 00:54:13.948
That's why 80% go past.

00:54:14.158 --> 00:54:14.578
Um,

00:54:16.768 --> 00:54:20.968
and what has to happen
for you to feel secured?

00:54:21.238 --> 00:54:22.078
Let's explore that.

00:54:23.848 --> 00:54:24.988
That's where I would go with that.

00:54:25.528 --> 00:54:26.008
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:54:26.278 --> 00:54:30.748
Speaker: Um, I wouldn't be telling anyone
to go, you know, stop your full-time job.

00:54:31.318 --> 00:54:31.378
Go.

00:54:31.888 --> 00:54:35.608
They may not have the skills, they may
not have the expertise in order to create

00:54:35.608 --> 00:54:41.668
a professional, predictable business
based upon five star ideal clients that

00:54:41.668 --> 00:54:48.868
can navigate its way through the ups and
downs of, um, recessions and depressions.

00:54:49.993 --> 00:54:54.793
Some people, people that security is
a full-time job, is what they need.

00:54:54.883 --> 00:54:56.923
Although actually I do think
it's quite interesting.

00:54:56.923 --> 00:54:59.623
I don't think there's anything
that's really that secure anymore.

00:55:00.373 --> 00:55:02.023
Speaker 2: No, I don't think there is.

00:55:02.113 --> 00:55:02.893
No, it didn't.

00:55:02.893 --> 00:55:03.313
Yeah.

00:55:03.553 --> 00:55:07.543
I mean, when I first started,
um, I worked for an investment

00:55:07.543 --> 00:55:08.863
bank in the city of London.

00:55:08.868 --> 00:55:14.383
Um, I was a training and development
director, so my salary was rather nice.

00:55:14.383 --> 00:55:15.373
Thank you very much.

00:55:15.763 --> 00:55:15.973
Speaker: Mm-hmm.

00:55:16.063 --> 00:55:21.613
Speaker 2: Um, and I, I just hesitated for
a while and I thought, oh, look, I've just

00:55:21.613 --> 00:55:23.263
gotta do this or it's never gonna happen.

00:55:23.263 --> 00:55:24.463
I had everything mapped out.

00:55:24.463 --> 00:55:28.033
I knew I was gonna do, I
had a plan, so I just left.

00:55:29.143 --> 00:55:34.783
Um, and then for a while, I, I
took on short-term contracts.

00:55:35.683 --> 00:55:38.713
So while I was building it, if
something came up and somebody

00:55:38.713 --> 00:55:42.733
wanted me to go and do something
for a month or a couple of months to

00:55:42.733 --> 00:55:45.373
cover for someone, I would dive in.

00:55:45.373 --> 00:55:48.403
I'd treble the money I was charging them.

00:55:49.153 --> 00:55:50.713
To go and do the project for them.

00:55:50.713 --> 00:55:52.093
And then I thought,
well, hang on a minute.

00:55:52.093 --> 00:55:57.973
If I can treble the money doing that, I
can treble the money doing my coaching

00:55:57.973 --> 00:55:59.833
and my hypnosis and my hypnotherapy.

00:56:00.313 --> 00:56:03.703
So then I just walked away
and never looked back.

00:56:04.303 --> 00:56:04.753
Speaker: Hmm.

00:56:05.323 --> 00:56:07.573
It's interesting 'cause the last
part of the question is what's

00:56:07.573 --> 00:56:11.953
your advice to someone who's
ready to become self-employed, but

00:56:13.663 --> 00:56:13.903
Speaker 2: yeah.

00:56:13.963 --> 00:56:15.913
Speaker: Remaining employed for security.

00:56:15.913 --> 00:56:19.063
So where, where's the h
hierarchy of values there?

00:56:19.603 --> 00:56:20.023
Yeah.

00:56:20.023 --> 00:56:20.033
Security.

00:56:20.053 --> 00:56:20.863
The security.

00:56:21.013 --> 00:56:21.583
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:56:21.583 --> 00:56:22.948
Yeah, yeah,

00:56:23.138 --> 00:56:23.428
Speaker: yeah.

00:56:23.653 --> 00:56:24.043
Okay.

00:56:24.133 --> 00:56:24.493
Um,

00:56:26.503 --> 00:56:28.063
stay secure if that's all you wanna do.

00:56:29.503 --> 00:56:29.773
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:56:31.093 --> 00:56:31.663
Speaker: Nothing wrong.

00:56:31.663 --> 00:56:33.433
There's nothing wrong with
treating it as a hobby.

00:56:34.783 --> 00:56:40.333
Speaker 2: Some people are really
happy having a hobby, something

00:56:40.333 --> 00:56:41.953
that eats up their spare time.

00:56:42.943 --> 00:56:45.283
Speaker: And it could be very
profitable, lucrative hobby as well.

00:56:46.183 --> 00:56:47.443
It can, can, you can have
the best of both worlds.

00:56:48.853 --> 00:56:48.913
Yeah.

00:56:48.913 --> 00:56:52.603
In fact, you know, it'd be interesting to
explore this, you know, remain employed

00:56:52.603 --> 00:56:54.373
for your security and double your rates.

00:56:54.643 --> 00:56:55.033
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:56:55.482 --> 00:56:56.263
See what happens.

00:56:56.263 --> 00:56:57.973
Speaker: Double your rates
and see what happens.

00:56:58.513 --> 00:57:04.033
And then when people will say yes, then
double them again and see what happens.

00:57:04.843 --> 00:57:04.993
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:57:04.998 --> 00:57:08.593
I mean, I, I, I left and doubled
my rates and then troubled my rates

00:57:10.708 --> 00:57:12.673
and I thought, well,
you know, I can do this.

00:57:15.192 --> 00:57:16.063
What are you worth?

00:57:17.113 --> 00:57:17.473
Speaker: Me?

00:57:17.982 --> 00:57:20.803
Speaker 2: No, I'm talking
to this person here.

00:57:21.462 --> 00:57:22.458
I know what you are worth.

00:57:23.918 --> 00:57:24.337
Speaker: Indeed.

00:57:26.238 --> 00:57:29.442
So hopefully that gave you
something to think about.

00:57:29.772 --> 00:57:32.772
Are you really, really, really ready?

00:57:35.232 --> 00:57:35.353
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:57:35.353 --> 00:57:35.923
Speaker: Not sure.

00:57:36.013 --> 00:57:36.883
Let's explore that.

00:57:38.323 --> 00:57:38.803
Speaker 2: Yes.

00:57:38.923 --> 00:57:39.763
Speaker: What's stopping you?

00:57:41.022 --> 00:57:41.502
Speaker 2: Ooh.

00:57:42.388 --> 00:57:46.528
So I have to do this one
especially 'cause on Sunday we

00:57:46.528 --> 00:57:48.058
are gonna be doing this on Sunday.

00:57:48.088 --> 00:57:48.868
I love this one.

00:57:49.798 --> 00:57:50.608
Phobias.

00:57:51.118 --> 00:57:54.808
I'm currently working in
progress with desensitizing, a

00:57:54.808 --> 00:57:57.478
client who had claustrophobia.

00:57:58.048 --> 00:57:58.558
Okay.

00:57:59.368 --> 00:58:01.138
So she doesn't have it anymore.

00:58:01.918 --> 00:58:06.838
She can now enter a shop with an
open door and very nearly close

00:58:06.838 --> 00:58:08.938
the door in a room with no windows.

00:58:09.148 --> 00:58:13.378
Having stayed outta shops and rooms
with no windows for over a year.

00:58:13.378 --> 00:58:13.408
Okay?

00:58:14.608 --> 00:58:21.328
My client understands how to change
her state and we've collapsed lots of

00:58:21.328 --> 00:58:25.078
anchors, but there's still a way to go.

00:58:26.008 --> 00:58:31.078
It's a young person who isn't
following my instructions, Hmm, and is

00:58:31.078 --> 00:58:34.378
requesting that I force her all advice.

00:58:34.378 --> 00:58:35.038
Welcome.

00:58:35.803 --> 00:58:37.273
So I'm gonna start this time.

00:58:38.263 --> 00:58:38.743
Speaker: Go for it.

00:58:39.043 --> 00:58:39.283
Yeah.

00:58:40.093 --> 00:58:40.903
Speaker 2: I love this.

00:58:41.053 --> 00:58:42.778
I mean, on Sunday we got, because

00:58:42.798 --> 00:58:44.058
Speaker: you know young people don't you?

00:58:44.438 --> 00:58:48.818
Speaker 2: The last day of our
licensed practitioner of NLP, and we

00:58:48.883 --> 00:58:53.203
are gonna be teaching our students
Sunday morning how to help people

00:58:53.203 --> 00:58:55.183
get rid of their fears and phobias.

00:58:56.023 --> 00:59:00.673
The demo isn't gonna take that long.

00:59:00.733 --> 00:59:02.023
He doesn't have that long.

00:59:03.043 --> 00:59:04.183
We've got things to do.

00:59:04.393 --> 00:59:06.373
I say him because it's, it's him.

00:59:06.973 --> 00:59:07.183
Um,

00:59:07.543 --> 00:59:08.968
Speaker: well, am I gonna,
am I doing the demo again?

00:59:11.278 --> 00:59:14.353
Speaker 2: Look, you know, do you
wanna do the demo or the tournament?

00:59:15.013 --> 00:59:15.913
Speaker: Oh, I'll do the demo.

00:59:17.353 --> 00:59:17.683
No worries.

00:59:17.683 --> 00:59:19.813
Speaker 2: The, the setup is important.

00:59:20.203 --> 00:59:21.373
Yeah, the setup's important.

00:59:21.373 --> 00:59:22.153
And then the demo.

00:59:22.333 --> 00:59:28.753
Now desensitization is something
that's taught in clinical

00:59:28.753 --> 00:59:33.793
hypnotherapy courses, and in fact,
it's taught in the ICCH diploma.

00:59:34.438 --> 00:59:39.658
Because we have to, it has to be part of
the syllabus 'cause it is considered to be

00:59:39.688 --> 00:59:42.118
a valuable part of clinical hippotherapy.

00:59:43.048 --> 00:59:47.758
It isn't anything I use and
I never used to teach it.

00:59:49.468 --> 00:59:54.178
You see, because I think the answer
lies in something that Steve and I have

00:59:54.178 --> 01:00:00.598
said many, many, many times, um, from
what I've read out to everybody here.

01:00:01.828 --> 01:00:07.258
So, for somebody to get change,
they have to want to change,

01:00:09.868 --> 01:00:11.518
know how to change,

01:00:13.558 --> 01:00:15.718
give themselves time to change.

01:00:16.048 --> 01:00:20.488
And I'm gonna add a fourth
one to follow instructions.

01:00:23.188 --> 01:00:27.928
I know when I've worked with young people,
especially teenagers and, and young.

01:00:30.163 --> 01:00:31.723
Pre-teen people.

01:00:32.323 --> 01:00:36.133
Um, sometimes they like
to be quite manipulative

01:00:39.973 --> 01:00:42.943
and they don't always follow
instructions for a reason.

01:00:43.003 --> 01:00:49.693
They get attention and there's other
stuff my gut is telling me going on

01:00:49.693 --> 01:00:54.223
here without even having seen this
client or had anything to do with them.

01:00:54.913 --> 01:00:59.383
Um, now I have an adult who isn't
following instructions at the moment.

01:00:59.713 --> 01:01:04.123
Lovely guy from the east end of London,
traveled all the way to see me here

01:01:04.123 --> 01:01:08.683
he is from Bow Mill War supporter
and he looks like a mill war support.

01:01:10.753 --> 01:01:15.913
He's got broken nose cauliflowers
tattoos, looks like a thug.

01:01:16.513 --> 01:01:19.303
Sorry if there's any mill war
supporters watching, but they do

01:01:19.303 --> 01:01:21.403
have a reputation in this country.

01:01:22.243 --> 01:01:23.743
Um, salt of the earth.

01:01:24.493 --> 01:01:25.118
Lovely bloke.

01:01:26.473 --> 01:01:28.333
He loves coming to talk to me.

01:01:28.393 --> 01:01:31.363
He came to see me because he
said he had a phobia of flying.

01:01:32.203 --> 01:01:36.193
Um, and then he flew out to Spain with
his wife for two weeks and then he came

01:01:36.193 --> 01:01:39.073
back and I said, you've been on a plane.

01:01:39.073 --> 01:01:39.553
That's great.

01:01:39.553 --> 01:01:40.873
You haven't been on a plane for years.

01:01:41.413 --> 01:01:45.073
Yeah, but I still think there's
more for us to do, doll.

01:01:45.853 --> 01:01:48.793
So he came to see me and we, we
had another chat and I did another

01:01:48.793 --> 01:01:50.353
session with him and off he went.

01:01:50.353 --> 01:01:51.673
And now he's flown.

01:01:51.943 --> 01:01:57.313
He went to, he went to Rome for his
birthday, sent me a message from Rome.

01:01:57.793 --> 01:02:01.303
Bit better, but I think
I need to come back now.

01:02:01.303 --> 01:02:01.633
I know

01:02:04.093 --> 01:02:09.943
from our little chats, he's lonely even
though he is been married for a long time.

01:02:10.333 --> 01:02:16.273
Uh, his wife's coming into
dementia and she forgets things.

01:02:17.803 --> 01:02:20.413
And when he, he's gonna come back
'cause he says he wants to come

01:02:20.413 --> 01:02:21.583
back and have another appointment.

01:02:22.243 --> 01:02:25.603
We are gonna discuss then what
it is that he really wants.

01:02:27.598 --> 01:02:29.458
Because he's not following instructions.

01:02:29.728 --> 01:02:31.288
I know he doesn't have a phobia anymore.

01:02:31.318 --> 01:02:32.548
'cause he can get on a plane.

01:02:34.948 --> 01:02:38.878
And I know that from what you said,
this person can do certain things,

01:02:38.878 --> 01:02:40.528
but she's not following instructions.

01:02:40.768 --> 01:02:45.448
So what else is going
on over to you crabby?

01:02:46.738 --> 01:02:47.098
Speaker: Yeah.

01:02:47.188 --> 01:02:49.618
Uh, I agree with absolutely
everything Tina said.

01:02:49.738 --> 01:02:53.398
Um, we come back to checking the ecology.

01:02:55.228 --> 01:02:57.508
We come back to the NLP presupposition.

01:02:57.508 --> 01:02:59.998
Every behavior serves a
purpose at some level.

01:03:00.478 --> 01:03:05.608
And when it comes to the, uh, conditions
of well-formed outcomes is checking to

01:03:05.608 --> 01:03:15.718
see what is the, what else this person
getting from staying with this behavior.

01:03:16.348 --> 01:03:16.648
Yeah.

01:03:16.648 --> 01:03:17.518
And exploring that.

01:03:18.148 --> 01:03:20.818
But that's something I think
you have to sort out at the very

01:03:20.818 --> 01:03:22.558
beginning as part of the pre-frame.

01:03:22.738 --> 01:03:23.038
Yeah.

01:03:23.668 --> 01:03:24.088
Um.

01:03:24.583 --> 01:03:28.603
Because if you, if you're getting the
compliance, if they want to change,

01:03:29.263 --> 01:03:33.823
there's nothing stopping them from
changing, which is the ecology check, the

01:03:33.823 --> 01:03:36.763
how to change, you know how to do that.

01:03:37.363 --> 01:03:37.693
Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

01:03:37.933 --> 01:03:41.503
Speaker: All they have to do is follow
your instructions and they will change

01:03:41.863 --> 01:03:43.693
with all those conditions in place.

01:03:43.693 --> 01:03:45.253
This is a quick piece of change work.

01:03:45.673 --> 01:03:46.093
Speaker 2: It is.

01:03:46.093 --> 01:03:46.423
Yeah.

01:03:47.173 --> 01:03:47.443
Speaker: Yeah.

01:03:48.073 --> 01:03:51.553
So I su suggest you may have missed
something at the very beginning.

01:03:51.823 --> 01:03:52.123
Yeah.

01:03:52.123 --> 01:03:53.773
In terms of part of your diagnostic.

01:03:54.313 --> 01:03:58.843
Um, it's an area to look at, to
check that there isn't something

01:03:58.843 --> 01:04:01.153
there isn't so benefit to.

01:04:01.843 --> 01:04:05.623
Look, we talk about a young person
here, there's normally tons of other

01:04:05.623 --> 01:04:08.083
reasons why they're getting attention.

01:04:08.083 --> 01:04:09.613
They're getting significance.

01:04:09.613 --> 01:04:09.883
They're,

01:04:12.343 --> 01:04:15.283
you know, there, there's so many
other reasons that they could be

01:04:15.733 --> 01:04:17.863
very resistant to actually doing
the change, even though they're

01:04:17.863 --> 01:04:19.303
telling you that they, they want to.

01:04:20.233 --> 01:04:20.533
Yeah.

01:04:20.593 --> 01:04:22.998
So you've gotta be quite robust
and thorough at the very be.

01:04:23.803 --> 01:04:24.763
Of your diagnostic.

01:04:26.743 --> 01:04:27.823
Speaker 2: Yes, you do.

01:04:27.823 --> 01:04:29.653
So we've now five past eight.

01:04:29.833 --> 01:04:30.193
Speaker: Yeah.

01:04:30.223 --> 01:04:33.283
Which by the way, you can't do
on a demo, so you have to be

01:04:33.283 --> 01:04:34.693
really good when you do a demo.

01:04:34.873 --> 01:04:38.863
Yeah, I'm I'm just saying the, the
demos always go well, but you have

01:04:38.863 --> 01:04:42.493
to be, when it comes to choosing your
demo subject, you can't do the ecology

01:04:42.493 --> 01:04:45.493
check, but you do have to make sure
the person follows your instructions.

01:04:45.943 --> 01:04:47.713
You'll get the results if they follow you.

01:04:47.713 --> 01:04:48.973
The instruct, the instructions.

01:04:49.123 --> 01:04:53.053
Speaker 2: And that's the
benefit with choosing Wisely.

01:04:53.203 --> 01:04:53.413
Speaker: Yeah.

01:04:53.413 --> 01:04:55.183
Choosing the demo subjects wisely.

01:04:56.923 --> 01:04:57.313
Yes.

01:04:57.403 --> 01:05:00.433
I've already started to choose
the demo subject two weeks ago.

01:05:00.583 --> 01:05:00.703
Yeah,

01:05:01.813 --> 01:05:02.773
Speaker 2: I'm sure you did.

01:05:03.133 --> 01:05:03.463
Speaker: Yeah.

01:05:03.468 --> 01:05:05.653
Yes, I know who is my victim.

01:05:06.133 --> 01:05:07.363
Speaker 2: I'm looking to fit him up.

01:05:07.363 --> 01:05:09.613
People, but I fitted him up
before and he is managed to

01:05:09.613 --> 01:05:10.993
get away with it, so we'll see.

01:05:11.533 --> 01:05:14.443
Speaker: Yeah, because you know, it's
one of Richard's approaches, isn't it?

01:05:14.443 --> 01:05:16.633
You know, my clients are gonna
change his, or one of us is gonna

01:05:16.633 --> 01:05:18.823
die trying and it's not gonna be me.

01:05:19.033 --> 01:05:19.633
Speaker 2: No.

01:05:19.783 --> 01:05:20.083
Speaker: Yeah.

01:05:21.013 --> 01:05:22.963
They're gonna be the
best demo subject ever.

01:05:23.173 --> 01:05:23.473
Yeah.

01:05:24.313 --> 01:05:27.643
So, um, we've still got a quick few
questions, but we're out of time now.

01:05:27.643 --> 01:05:29.713
That's five, past six, past eight.

01:05:30.403 --> 01:05:34.183
There's a few we're gonna have
to roll over to, um, June.

01:05:34.483 --> 01:05:35.683
We've got some from April.

01:05:35.953 --> 01:05:36.853
Okay, that's good.

01:05:37.098 --> 01:05:37.868
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

01:05:37.928 --> 01:05:38.148
Speaker: Um,

01:05:38.593 --> 01:05:41.108
Speaker 2: yeah, because we
ran outta questions, um, in

01:05:41.208 --> 01:05:43.123
run out of, um, time in April.

01:05:43.693 --> 01:05:44.653
So it's brilliant.

01:05:44.653 --> 01:05:46.213
Keep the questions coming people.

01:05:46.213 --> 01:05:48.313
We love all of your questions.

01:05:48.553 --> 01:05:49.393
Speaker: Yeah, thank you.

01:05:49.393 --> 01:05:51.973
I haven't been checking to see as
online, but thank you for being here.

01:05:51.973 --> 01:05:55.843
Thank you for showing up and if you're
watching the replay, um, oh yeah.

01:05:55.873 --> 01:05:57.668
Plenty of comments from Tanya and Jane.

01:05:58.063 --> 01:05:59.293
Thank you for being here, guys.

01:06:00.133 --> 01:06:01.093
And um,

01:06:03.133 --> 01:06:04.243
Speaker 2: yeah, yeah, there's a lot.

01:06:04.243 --> 01:06:05.833
There's some good, there's
some good comments.

01:06:06.703 --> 01:06:06.943
Speaker: Yeah.

01:06:07.003 --> 01:06:07.633
Fabulous.

01:06:08.053 --> 01:06:09.973
So, Tina, we've got some things to do.

01:06:09.973 --> 01:06:12.073
We've got a practitioner
starting tomorrow.

01:06:12.078 --> 01:06:12.378
Speaker 2: We do.

01:06:12.378 --> 01:06:12.538
We

01:06:12.538 --> 01:06:12.858
Speaker: got tomorrow.

01:06:12.858 --> 01:06:14.983
We have business alchemy.

01:06:15.073 --> 01:06:18.643
For those of you that haven't
yet made the decision to join us,

01:06:18.973 --> 01:06:19.243
Speaker 2: yes.

01:06:19.243 --> 01:06:23.533
Come and join us Three days
in Cha Wales at Glastonbury.

01:06:23.533 --> 01:06:25.658
We're gonna be doing all
sorts of magical stuff.

01:06:25.658 --> 01:06:26.058
Magical.

01:06:26.063 --> 01:06:27.433
Speaker: Oh yeah, absolutely.

01:06:27.433 --> 01:06:28.273
Baptisms.

01:06:28.333 --> 01:06:29.458
Can we do baptisms, Tina?

01:06:29.708 --> 01:06:31.098
Speaker 2: We're gotta do baptisms.

01:06:31.208 --> 01:06:31.498
Yeah.

01:06:31.498 --> 01:06:32.618
Because we have the cha

01:06:32.758 --> 01:06:33.178
Speaker: worlds,

01:06:33.438 --> 01:06:37.578
Speaker 2: the Chalice worlds
garden privately all to ourselves on

01:06:37.778 --> 01:06:41.023
Saturday evening, and we've got some
interesting things we're gonna be doing.

01:06:41.263 --> 01:06:41.983
Speaker: Can we swim in it?

01:06:42.943 --> 01:06:44.263
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get
in it if you want to.

01:06:44.268 --> 01:06:44.528
Speaker: Really?

01:06:44.718 --> 01:06:45.008
Okay.

01:06:45.008 --> 01:06:45.328
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.

01:06:45.328 --> 01:06:46.633
Speaker: We're not allowed
to tell anyone that.

01:06:46.783 --> 01:06:46.903
Yeah,

01:06:46.903 --> 01:06:47.353
Speaker 2: it's not.

01:06:47.353 --> 01:06:47.533
It's

01:06:47.533 --> 01:06:47.833
Speaker: not.

01:06:47.833 --> 01:06:50.953
Because don't they sell, don't
they sell the holy water?

01:06:51.943 --> 01:06:52.453
Speaker 2: No, no, no.

01:06:52.453 --> 01:06:53.143
They don't sell it.

01:06:53.143 --> 01:06:56.293
You, you, well, you pay to get
into the gardens normally, and then

01:06:56.533 --> 01:06:59.593
you go to the top of the gardens
where the water's coming out.

01:06:59.593 --> 01:07:00.073
The.

01:07:00.898 --> 01:07:03.658
And it's all been tested and
fit for you consumption, guys.

01:07:03.928 --> 01:07:06.568
And then you take your little cup
and you can fill it with water.

01:07:06.598 --> 01:07:07.078
Speaker: Oh, okay.

01:07:07.078 --> 01:07:09.298
So we can swim in the bit
downstream from where they're

01:07:09.583 --> 01:07:09.623
Speaker 2: drinking.

01:07:09.733 --> 01:07:10.023
Yeah.

01:07:10.023 --> 01:07:10.263
Downstream.

01:07:10.463 --> 01:07:10.543
Fabulous.

01:07:10.733 --> 01:07:11.023
Okay.

01:07:11.023 --> 01:07:11.383
Speaker: That'll be good.

01:07:11.403 --> 01:07:11.623
Yes.

01:07:11.803 --> 01:07:15.103
Speaker 2: You dream it upstream,
you're swimming it downstream.

01:07:15.583 --> 01:07:15.703
Speaker: Fabulous.

01:07:15.703 --> 01:07:16.703
Okay, I'm gonna do that.

01:07:17.368 --> 01:07:21.028
So yeah, come and join us
guys is gonna be amazing.

01:07:21.178 --> 01:07:23.818
Magic meditation and manifestation.

01:07:24.328 --> 01:07:26.638
We've got some pretty cool
things planned for you.

01:07:26.728 --> 01:07:27.028
We do.

01:07:27.028 --> 01:07:30.628
Um, but if you're not there,
you're gonna miss out.

01:07:30.868 --> 01:07:31.048
Yeah.

01:07:31.048 --> 01:07:34.648
Remember that fear of missing
out and, and double it.

01:07:34.768 --> 01:07:35.698
And double it some more.

01:07:37.213 --> 01:07:37.503
Okay?

01:07:38.213 --> 01:07:40.828
Speaker 2: Okay guys, live long, prosper.

01:07:40.978 --> 01:07:41.728
Have fun.

01:07:41.848 --> 01:07:43.588
And we'll see you in June.

01:07:44.158 --> 01:07:44.188
Speaker: Mm.

01:07:44.188 --> 01:07:44.728
What she said.

01:07:44.853 --> 01:07:45.143
Yeah.

01:07:45.293 --> 01:07:45.983
Speaker 2: What she said.

01:07:46.168 --> 01:07:46.348
Yeah.

01:07:46.618 --> 01:07:47.068
Bye.

01:07:47.068 --> 01:07:47.608
Speaker: Bye-Bye.