1 01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:04,125 Good morning and 2 01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:06,333 welcome to morning cereal. 3 01:00:12,208 --> 01:00:13,458 Okay, good morning and 4 01:00:13,458 --> 01:00:15,833 welcome to Monday on a holiday week. 5 01:00:15,833 --> 01:00:18,583 No less somehow making this Monday feel a 6 01:00:18,583 --> 01:00:19,708 bit more doable, right? 7 01:00:20,500 --> 01:00:20,666 Right? 8 01:00:21,125 --> 01:00:22,416 Or are we all just trying to fit 9 01:00:22,416 --> 01:00:24,250 everything in to take some time off? 10 01:00:24,250 --> 01:00:25,041 And now we're even more 11 01:00:25,041 --> 01:00:26,625 stressed out. I don't know. 12 01:00:26,791 --> 01:00:28,833 Let's just take a deep breath and turn to 13 01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:30,833 someone who can no doubt toughen us 14 01:00:30,916 --> 01:00:33,333 up. Our quote this morning comes from the 15 01:00:33,333 --> 01:00:36,333 endlessly quotable Samuel L. Jackson, 16 01:00:36,500 --> 01:00:37,583 who said, quote, if 17 01:00:37,583 --> 01:00:38,750 you don't have courage, 18 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,791 you may not have the opportunity to use 19 01:00:41,791 --> 01:00:43,333 any of your other virtues. 20 01:00:43,625 --> 01:00:46,416 End quote. Now, if that doesn't provide 21 01:00:46,416 --> 01:00:48,125 you with a shot of backbone this 22 01:00:48,250 --> 01:00:50,250 morning, I don't know what will believe 23 01:00:50,250 --> 01:00:52,583 in yourself. People find that courage, 24 01:00:52,583 --> 01:00:53,750 put yourself out there. 25 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,291 Or Mr. Jackson might have some other 26 01:00:56,291 --> 01:00:58,083 choice words for you. All right. 27 01:00:58,083 --> 01:00:59,166 Here are your four moments 28 01:00:59,166 --> 01:01:02,083 that matter for December 22nd, 29 01:01:02,083 --> 01:01:05,208 historic moment in 2001, Richard Reed. 30 01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:06,833 Probably don't know that name. You would 31 01:01:06,833 --> 01:01:08,416 know him as the shoe bomber. 32 01:01:08,708 --> 01:01:10,416 This is the day he attempted to detonate 33 01:01:10,416 --> 01:01:13,041 explosives hidden in his shoes on an 34 01:01:13,041 --> 01:01:14,291 American airline flight 35 01:01:14,291 --> 01:01:16,916 from Paris to Miami. Luckily, 36 01:01:16,916 --> 01:01:19,583 alert crew and passengers stopped him and 37 01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,375 the plane landed safely in Boston. 38 01:01:22,083 --> 01:01:24,000 Okay. Today's special day. 39 01:01:24,250 --> 01:01:26,708 It's national short person's day, 40 01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:29,041 giving a little extra spotlight to the 41 01:01:29,041 --> 01:01:29,833 vertically challenged 42 01:01:29,833 --> 01:01:31,000 heroes of the world. 43 01:01:31,541 --> 01:01:33,291 Now, if you're wondering if today is 44 01:01:33,291 --> 01:01:35,333 another day to celebrate yourself, well, 45 01:01:35,583 --> 01:01:37,500 you have to be below five three as a 46 01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:39,250 woman and five seven as a man. 47 01:01:39,666 --> 01:01:40,208 And here's a little 48 01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:41,500 Monday factoid for you. 49 01:01:41,791 --> 01:01:42,791 The shortest person in the 50 01:01:42,791 --> 01:01:45,208 world is Iranian Afshin Ji, 51 01:01:45,208 --> 01:01:46,958 and he stands just two feet 52 01:01:46,958 --> 01:01:49,375 and 1.5 inches tall. Well, 53 01:01:49,458 --> 01:01:51,625 the number one song on this day way back 54 01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:54,333 in 1958 was the chipmunk song 55 01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:56,833 Christmas Don't Be Late by David Saville 56 01:01:56,833 --> 01:01:57,916 and the chipmunks. Now, 57 01:01:57,916 --> 01:02:00,125 I know you know this novelty holiday 58 01:02:00,125 --> 01:02:02,250 track. It's a seasonal classic, 59 01:02:02,500 --> 01:02:04,833 but did you know that all four parts of 60 01:02:04,833 --> 01:02:07,250 this song were performed by one person, 61 01:02:07,916 --> 01:02:09,416 Ross Bagdasarian Sr. 62 01:02:10,083 --> 01:02:11,333 Well, happy birthday to you. 63 01:02:11,333 --> 01:02:12,250 Today's your birthday. 64 01:02:12,541 --> 01:02:14,208 You share a birthday with singer and 65 01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:16,041 American auto winner Jordan Sparks. 66 01:02:16,083 --> 01:02:18,750 He's just 36 today. Pop singer, who's all 67 01:02:18,750 --> 01:02:20,583 about that bass. Megan trainer. 68 01:02:20,875 --> 01:02:23,583 She's just 32 today and acclaimed actor 69 01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:25,250 from Schindler's List and Harry Potter. 70 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:27,666 Ralph Fiennes. He's 63 today. 71 01:02:28,125 --> 01:02:29,916 And Beegee's brother, the late Robin 72 01:02:29,916 --> 01:02:32,541 Gibbs, who was born on this day in 1949. 73 01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:35,666 Okay. Book review time. We are in Mel 74 01:02:35,666 --> 01:02:37,791 Robbins, the let them theory. 75 01:02:37,791 --> 01:02:39,458 And today we're starting a new chapter, 76 01:02:39,458 --> 01:02:41,208 Chapter 14, which is entitled, 77 01:02:41,666 --> 01:02:43,250 people only change when 78 01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:44,750 they feel like it. Now, 79 01:02:44,916 --> 01:02:46,750 if you've ever tried to upgrade someone 80 01:02:46,750 --> 01:02:48,625 else's life more than they wanted it, 81 01:02:48,958 --> 01:02:50,375 this one will hit home for you. 82 01:02:50,708 --> 01:02:53,083 Mel Robbins opens this section by naming 83 01:02:53,083 --> 01:02:54,791 one of the most exhausting 84 01:02:54,875 --> 01:02:57,875 habits many of us carry, trying to manage 85 01:02:57,875 --> 01:02:59,208 other people's choices. 86 01:02:59,666 --> 01:03:01,125 Now we rewrite their 87 01:03:01,125 --> 01:03:02,500 schedules in our heads, right? 88 01:03:02,958 --> 01:03:05,083 Mentally edit their relationships and we 89 01:03:05,083 --> 01:03:06,833 endlessly replay conversations, 90 01:03:07,333 --> 01:03:09,458 hoping we'll eventually land on the magic 91 01:03:09,458 --> 01:03:11,833 words that finally quote, fix them. 92 01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:14,083 Right? Well, the hard truth that she 93 01:03:14,083 --> 01:03:16,166 offers is right in the chapter title. 94 01:03:16,750 --> 01:03:18,583 People only change when they feel like 95 01:03:18,583 --> 01:03:20,625 it. Not when you're worried enough, 96 01:03:20,875 --> 01:03:22,375 not when you're nagging them enough, or 97 01:03:22,375 --> 01:03:23,875 not when you're disappointed enough. 98 01:03:24,791 --> 01:03:25,875 Mel connects this to the 99 01:03:25,875 --> 01:03:27,333 let them theory directly. 100 01:03:28,041 --> 01:03:29,583 When you believe your happiness depends 101 01:03:29,583 --> 01:03:32,000 on someone else's behaving a certain way, 102 01:03:32,416 --> 01:03:34,208 you've handed your power over to them. 103 01:03:34,958 --> 01:03:37,166 Robbins reminds you that quote, people 104 01:03:37,166 --> 01:03:39,875 hold no power over you unless you give it 105 01:03:39,958 --> 01:03:40,791 to them, end quote. 106 01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:43,541 And constantly trying to engineer their 107 01:03:43,541 --> 01:03:46,625 growth is one of the sneakiest ways to 108 01:03:46,625 --> 01:03:48,500 do exactly that. In the 109 01:03:48,500 --> 01:03:49,500 intro to this chapter, 110 01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:52,208 she invites you to pause and notice where 111 01:03:52,208 --> 01:03:54,375 you're carrying a quiet wish list. 112 01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:57,250 I wish they'd be more ambitious. I wish 113 01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:58,375 they'd communicate better. 114 01:03:58,625 --> 01:04:00,041 I wish they'd stop drinking, stop 115 01:04:00,041 --> 01:04:01,041 scrolling, stop 116 01:04:01,041 --> 01:04:02,458 avoiding hard conversations. 117 01:04:03,291 --> 01:04:05,291 Instead of doubling down on control, 118 01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,375 Mel asks you to see those wishes as data 119 01:04:09,375 --> 01:04:11,375 about you and your needs, 120 01:04:11,375 --> 01:04:13,083 your boundaries, right? Your values. 121 01:04:13,750 --> 01:04:15,250 This is where the let me side of the 122 01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:16,375 theory becomes crucial. 123 01:04:16,916 --> 01:04:18,958 Let me tell the truth about how this 124 01:04:18,958 --> 01:04:20,291 behavior impacts me. 125 01:04:20,708 --> 01:04:22,583 That me set boundaries instead of 126 01:04:22,583 --> 01:04:25,041 silently hoping they'll read my mind. 127 01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:26,875 Let me decide what I 128 01:04:26,875 --> 01:04:28,333 will and won't tolerate, 129 01:04:28,666 --> 01:04:29,583 regardless of whether 130 01:04:29,583 --> 01:04:31,250 they change. In other words, 131 01:04:31,625 --> 01:04:34,291 your work is in your lane, not in theirs. 132 01:04:34,791 --> 01:04:37,166 And Robbins doesn't minimize how painful 133 01:04:37,166 --> 01:04:39,916 it is to watch someone you love self 134 01:04:39,958 --> 01:04:42,541 sabotage or stay stuck, right? 135 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,291 The intro to this chapter 136 01:04:44,291 --> 01:04:45,708 acknowledges that grief, 137 01:04:45,958 --> 01:04:47,500 but it insists that trying 138 01:04:47,500 --> 01:04:48,958 to force their transformation, 139 01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:50,625 it usually breeds 140 01:04:50,625 --> 01:04:52,416 resentment on both sides. 141 01:04:53,166 --> 01:04:54,708 Accepting that you can't control their 142 01:04:54,708 --> 01:04:57,041 timeline doesn't mean you don't care. 143 01:04:57,500 --> 01:04:59,916 It just means you carry enough to stop 144 01:04:59,916 --> 01:05:02,541 playing a role you were never meant to 145 01:05:02,666 --> 01:05:05,000 fill. So as this chapter begins, 146 01:05:05,250 --> 01:05:06,916 she's basically handing you a permission 147 01:05:06,916 --> 01:05:09,791 slip to step out of that unpaid change 148 01:05:09,875 --> 01:05:12,625 manager job and step back into being a 149 01:05:12,625 --> 01:05:15,000 person with choices. You can stay, 150 01:05:15,208 --> 01:05:16,291 you can step back, you can 151 01:05:16,291 --> 01:05:17,958 set limits, or you can leave, 152 01:05:18,250 --> 01:05:20,000 but you cannot do their 153 01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,041 inner work for them. All right, 154 01:05:22,333 --> 01:05:24,166 here is your Monday takeaway. 155 01:05:24,958 --> 01:05:26,541 You find your peace not 156 01:05:26,541 --> 01:05:28,000 by perfecting other people, 157 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,250 but by accepting that real change is 158 01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:32,500 voluntary and choosing how you 159 01:05:32,500 --> 01:05:35,333 show up in the meantime. Well, as you 160 01:05:35,333 --> 01:05:36,458 move through this Monday, 161 01:05:36,458 --> 01:05:37,333 remember you can't 162 01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:38,791 control how tall you are. 163 01:05:38,791 --> 01:05:41,083 You can't control how other people act, 164 01:05:41,416 --> 01:05:42,875 but you can absolutely 165 01:05:42,875 --> 01:05:44,583 control your attitude, 166 01:05:44,583 --> 01:05:46,000 your boundaries and how 167 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,000 you treat people around you. 168 01:05:48,500 --> 01:05:49,166 Think of the chipmunks. 169 01:05:49,541 --> 01:05:51,333 They're small, a little ridiculous and 170 01:05:51,333 --> 01:05:52,541 somehow unforgettable. 171 01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:55,375 And they bring a kind of unapologetic 172 01:05:55,375 --> 01:05:58,000 energy into your day. All right. 173 01:05:58,208 --> 01:05:59,208 Well, thanks for starting the morning 174 01:05:59,208 --> 01:05:59,958 with morning cereal. 175 01:06:26,500 --> 01:06:27,166 We will be back here 176 01:06:27,166 --> 01:06:29,625 tomorrow with more stories, quotes, 177 01:06:29,625 --> 01:06:30,083 and moments that matter. And until then, 178 01:06:30,083 --> 01:06:30,208 have a fantastic day. 179 01:06:30,250 --> 01:06:31,333 We'll be deeper into everyday issues, 180 01:06:31,875 --> 01:06:32,416 self-improvement and 181 01:06:32,416 --> 01:06:34,000 wellbeing, business and finance, 182 01:06:34,541 --> 01:06:36,791 and we welcome special guests too. So 183 01:06:36,791 --> 01:06:38,416 join us. It will be a good time. 184 01:06:38,416 --> 01:06:40,541 I promise. Thanks again for listening. 185 01:06:40,541 --> 01:06:42,083 Have a fantastic day and 186 01:06:42,083 --> 01:06:42,625 we'll see you tomorrow.