WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:40.565 --> 00:00:42.929 Sam: Welcome to another episode 00:00:42.929 --> 00:00:44.029 of Unashamed Unafraid. 00:00:44.299 --> 00:00:47.293 We are unashamed as sexual addiction recovery and unafraid 00:00:47.293 --> 00:00:48.883 of coming unto Christ for healing. 00:00:49.693 --> 00:00:51.763 Chris has got his I Love Jesus socks. 00:00:51.833 --> 00:00:53.593 We've got Joshua in the house. 00:00:53.763 --> 00:00:56.274 And we're ready to record another Live Unashamed episode . what 00:00:56.274 --> 00:00:57.204 are we talking about, guys? 00:00:57.954 --> 00:00:58.594 Chris: Story. 00:00:59.144 --> 00:01:00.594 The impact of story. 00:01:00.984 --> 00:01:02.234 Sharing your story. 00:01:02.784 --> 00:01:04.114 How we connect with story. 00:01:04.664 --> 00:01:07.774 Sam: This podcast originally started on the idea that sharing 00:01:07.774 --> 00:01:11.151 a story helped combat the shame that drives sexual addiction. 00:01:11.761 --> 00:01:12.841 That's what we are. 00:01:12.851 --> 00:01:13.531 That's what we do. 00:01:13.541 --> 00:01:16.371 Unashamed Unafraid is a story podcast. 00:01:17.371 --> 00:01:21.281 And the reason why that matters is because when you don't tell the honest story, the 00:01:21.281 --> 00:01:26.753 true story, the raw vulnerable story, shame creeps in things that are taboo 00:01:26.753 --> 00:01:32.013 in society are just things that no one tells their story about Things that have 00:01:32.013 --> 00:01:36.443 shame surrounding them in society are things that no one tells their story about 00:01:36.943 --> 00:01:37.363 Chris: yeah 00:01:37.533 --> 00:01:41.343 Sam: They're things we keep quiet because it's easier Not to share. 00:01:41.373 --> 00:01:47.123 And so when someone will come in and just rip that tag off and just say 00:01:47.123 --> 00:01:49.463 it how it is and tell their story. 00:01:49.653 --> 00:01:49.843 Yeah. 00:01:49.893 --> 00:01:54.483 The courage and the authenticity and the vulnerability, it breaks that shame yeah. 00:01:54.993 --> 00:01:56.663 Chris: People will feel disconnected. 00:01:56.973 --> 00:02:00.863 When they're not sharing the story when they're not talking about it because 00:02:00.873 --> 00:02:05.253 that's how we connect to each other Right when we get together, what are we doing? 00:02:05.253 --> 00:02:07.043 We're always telling stories, right? 00:02:07.483 --> 00:02:11.183 We're talking about these epic adventures that we went on like I just got back from 00:02:11.563 --> 00:02:16.198 hiking down to Bryce Canyon and the cool adventures down there and it's like 29 00:02:16.198 --> 00:02:19.898 degrees and me and my wife are out there until midnight snapping photos in the 00:02:19.898 --> 00:02:22.308 frickin dark and she is scared to death. 00:02:23.048 --> 00:02:23.218 Right? 00:02:23.218 --> 00:02:25.898 We're talking about all these like stories and we're, everybody's 00:02:25.908 --> 00:02:29.698 like interested in and hearing the stories and that's how we connect. 00:02:29.838 --> 00:02:30.118 Sam: Yeah. 00:02:30.658 --> 00:02:31.048 Chris: Right? 00:02:31.068 --> 00:02:37.618 And when we're looking for ways to, get out of shame ways to find recovery 00:02:38.148 --> 00:02:42.558 . Sharing your story, sharing your story of like, Hey, this is, this is where I'm at. 00:02:42.568 --> 00:02:46.388 This is what's going on for me instead of being isolated I'm just going to 00:02:46.388 --> 00:02:49.808 keep it to myself and just be alone and then I'm going to feel disconnected 00:02:50.498 --> 00:02:54.088 and then wonder why I still act out. 00:02:55.088 --> 00:02:59.848 Joshua: Listening to you guys, I had a thought that the shame. 00:03:00.588 --> 00:03:03.958 The reason we don't tell our stories is because we've been 00:03:03.958 --> 00:03:06.238 listening to the lies for so long. 00:03:06.728 --> 00:03:07.068 Chris: Yeah, 00:03:07.468 --> 00:03:08.518 Joshua: and we believe them. 00:03:09.018 --> 00:03:13.578 But if you sit down and go over your story, you see, 00:03:13.658 --> 00:03:16.114 the truth in a different way. 00:03:17.064 --> 00:03:21.371 And you can have grace for yourself to look past those shame scripts and 00:03:21.371 --> 00:03:22.911 see things for how they really are. 00:03:23.911 --> 00:03:25.971 Sam: The point where everything changed for me in recovery, where I 00:03:25.971 --> 00:03:30.251 actually felt like I started making progress , it was almost three years ago. 00:03:30.651 --> 00:03:37.406 It was January of 2023 when I sat down Over the course of three or four months, 00:03:37.516 --> 00:03:41.016 and I wrote out my story, and I wrote out everything that had ever happened to me. 00:03:41.026 --> 00:03:44.706 And those things that I didn't want to put down on paper are the 00:03:44.706 --> 00:03:46.286 things that I especially included. 00:03:46.736 --> 00:03:48.976 Joshua: Those are the things, the things that are the hardest to write 00:03:48.976 --> 00:03:52.456 down are the things that have the highest potential to help you heal. 00:03:52.536 --> 00:03:52.956 Sam: Yeah. 00:03:53.626 --> 00:03:57.006 And so I included all that stuff and I just, I started going and then I would 00:03:57.006 --> 00:04:00.906 miss one thing and I would go back and I would edit that section and I wasn't 00:04:00.906 --> 00:04:02.716 consistent about it at all either. 00:04:02.716 --> 00:04:06.926 Like, I mean, I'll tell you, , I spent 20 minutes a day, but really I spent 00:04:06.926 --> 00:04:11.516 like three hours every other week, you know, I just was not a consistent 00:04:11.516 --> 00:04:13.106 person at that point in my recovery. 00:04:13.516 --> 00:04:13.776 Right. 00:04:13.816 --> 00:04:16.816 A little bit more so now, but not definitely not back then. 00:04:16.866 --> 00:04:20.126 But I was just doing the best I could to get it out so that I could process it. 00:04:20.516 --> 00:04:23.516 And that's what's cool is like everyone has to get in touch with their story at 00:04:23.526 --> 00:04:27.146 some point because God puts that inside of You like if you think from the very 00:04:27.146 --> 00:04:29.757 beginning you go back to adam and eve. 00:04:29.757 --> 00:04:33.197 Why did god command prophets to write that in scripture so that we can have it? 00:04:33.607 --> 00:04:36.057 Because of the power of story we need to know where we came from. 00:04:36.057 --> 00:04:38.347 We know what happened to us We didn't know where we're going. 00:04:38.677 --> 00:04:39.627 Those things are freeing. 00:04:39.627 --> 00:04:40.407 They're healing. 00:04:40.747 --> 00:04:45.227 They change us and they give us hope That's what started to happen to me as 00:04:45.227 --> 00:04:50.847 I got this all out on paper I remember just sitting in the the byu library 00:04:51.847 --> 00:04:55.417 The bottom floor Like tucked away in a corner just sitting there at a 00:04:55.417 --> 00:05:00.967 computer typing and just like sobbing Because I just hadn't ever actually 00:05:01.038 --> 00:05:02.818 told anyone these things out loud. 00:05:02.888 --> 00:05:04.468 I don't do 12 steps anymore. 00:05:04.468 --> 00:05:08.088 It's not really my chosen, method of healing, but at the time I was, 00:05:08.148 --> 00:05:12.262 I was, I had a sponsor I was working the steps and it was, it was so 00:05:12.262 --> 00:05:15.822 helpful for me that that portion of recovery, I really needed the steps. 00:05:16.822 --> 00:05:18.692 And I called my sponsor. 00:05:19.692 --> 00:05:21.875 And I asked him Hey, can I read you my story? 00:05:22.875 --> 00:05:27.055 So we scheduled like one Saturday and it took an hour and a half. 00:05:27.115 --> 00:05:29.595 And then we were only halfway through it. 00:05:30.385 --> 00:05:30.755 Dang. 00:05:31.445 --> 00:05:35.515 And then the next Saturday we started again and it took an hour. 00:05:35.875 --> 00:05:42.080 So it took me, it was two and a half hours straight of me telling The story 00:05:42.080 --> 00:05:47.390 of how I became who I became and the sexual shame and the experiences that 00:05:47.850 --> 00:05:51.540 defined my relationship with others and my relationship with God and my 00:05:51.540 --> 00:05:55.575 relationship with myself and The fear and the pain and the sadness and the 00:05:55.725 --> 00:05:59.175 reasons why I felt like I couldn't be myself and why I felt like I wasn't free 00:05:59.175 --> 00:06:06.405 to be a kid and how I learned to numb instead of You Fighting for emotional 00:06:06.405 --> 00:06:11.655 safety in my life and I remember at the end of that conversation the 00:06:11.655 --> 00:06:13.875 second conversation my sponsor was like 00:06:14.875 --> 00:06:17.705 Dude no wonder you became an addict. 00:06:18.775 --> 00:06:18.835 You didn't 00:06:18.845 --> 00:06:19.735 Joshua: stand a chance. 00:06:19.835 --> 00:06:21.765 Sam: Yeah, you didn't stand a chance. 00:06:21.865 --> 00:06:25.185 And that's no excuse to live in addiction the rest of my life, 00:06:25.195 --> 00:06:28.315 but it was freeing because I understood what had happened to me. 00:06:28.855 --> 00:06:32.362 That I didn't have to take on the identity of being a problem anymore. 00:06:33.217 --> 00:06:35.195 It was like, no, I'm not a problem. 00:06:35.305 --> 00:06:38.845 I just experienced things that I didn't know how to deal with as a kid. 00:06:39.265 --> 00:06:40.805 I didn't think there were other options. 00:06:40.805 --> 00:06:44.025 I was thinking with a 6 year old kid brain when that thing happened to me. 00:06:44.635 --> 00:06:49.955 And I decided what that meant about my long term identity with a 6 year old brain 00:06:50.198 --> 00:06:51.498 . Or a 10 year old brain. 00:06:51.498 --> 00:06:53.328 Or a 13 year old brain. 00:06:53.828 --> 00:06:56.838 Chris: So I got, I got a cool thing to thinking about Your 00:06:56.838 --> 00:07:00.858 story and having that lined out with the all the pages and stuff. 00:07:00.858 --> 00:07:01.538 Do you still have it? 00:07:01.838 --> 00:07:05.497 Yeah Did you do another in a timeline kind of or can you put 00:07:05.497 --> 00:07:06.322 Sam: in a timeline? 00:07:06.322 --> 00:07:08.252 I mean, it's in themes, right? 00:07:08.252 --> 00:07:12.242 Like sexual shame, but like those are themed by time period of 00:07:12.242 --> 00:07:15.682 life because certain things kind happened between those periods. 00:07:15.692 --> 00:07:17.902 So it's like early life, adolescence. 00:07:18.902 --> 00:07:20.452 Early twenties, stuff like 00:07:20.452 --> 00:07:20.532 Chris: that. 00:07:21.312 --> 00:07:23.872 I'll invite anybody that's listening to do this as well. 00:07:24.082 --> 00:07:28.722 when I did this it was super powerful If you've ever done your four step 00:07:28.722 --> 00:07:32.462 inventory, and you really nailed down your whole story of all the details 00:07:32.472 --> 00:07:37.912 for like a full disclosure or whatever that is, laid out on a timeline you 00:07:37.912 --> 00:07:42.432 lay that on the bottom half of it and then on the top half, then write in. 00:07:43.042 --> 00:07:45.962 What were the positive things that happened to you in 00:07:45.962 --> 00:07:47.402 your life during that time? 00:07:48.232 --> 00:07:51.202 What were the good things that, that happened to you? 00:07:51.432 --> 00:07:56.742 Because what, what it does is it helps remind you that there's still 00:07:56.742 --> 00:07:58.632 good things that happen to you. 00:07:59.042 --> 00:08:03.182 And cause you can look back on your life, man, I, I had a shitty life. 00:08:04.182 --> 00:08:08.182 I had a hard life growing up and everything. 00:08:09.182 --> 00:08:11.409 And I could look at it that it was a shitty life, but I'm 00:08:11.409 --> 00:08:13.637 like I loved my childhood. 00:08:13.637 --> 00:08:14.827 I still had an awesome childhood. 00:08:14.877 --> 00:08:18.857 My wife, my wife is looking at me going, how can you think that this 00:08:18.857 --> 00:08:20.057 is all this stuff happened to you? 00:08:20.057 --> 00:08:23.067 And I'm like, it's my perception of how I see it. 00:08:23.117 --> 00:08:23.747 Yeah. 00:08:24.127 --> 00:08:26.137 And so going and doing that. 00:08:26.177 --> 00:08:29.637 And so the top part is just, just all the positive things that have happened 00:08:29.637 --> 00:08:31.667 to you in that, that, that lifetime. 00:08:32.107 --> 00:08:35.857 And dude, it's really cool to see how it, And how they interact. 00:08:36.187 --> 00:08:41.307 I noticed that right after my dad took his life, I got really deep into, my 00:08:41.307 --> 00:08:42.867 addiction with having sex with women. 00:08:43.117 --> 00:08:44.267 Obviously, I was 17, right? 00:08:45.157 --> 00:08:50.607 And so, when that happened, I didn't realize that it, like, got really 00:08:50.607 --> 00:08:51.757 deep right after my dad did it. 00:08:52.157 --> 00:08:52.577 Took his life. 00:08:52.577 --> 00:08:55.567 I had no idea that I got deeper into it until I laid it out on the timeline. 00:08:56.017 --> 00:08:59.287 Then I looked at like all the positive things that were happening at the same 00:08:59.287 --> 00:09:01.397 time and throughout the whole thing. 00:09:01.397 --> 00:09:05.567 I mean just opened up my eyes to to so much. 00:09:06.127 --> 00:09:06.917 I'm like, man, 00:09:07.457 --> 00:09:07.857 Sam: I could 00:09:08.327 --> 00:09:12.907 Chris: see God in every single aspect of my life, even when I thought it 00:09:12.907 --> 00:09:17.037 was like horrible and the things I was doing and, and, and he hates 00:09:17.037 --> 00:09:19.567 me just being able to see that. 00:09:19.577 --> 00:09:20.547 I was like, wow, 00:09:20.777 --> 00:09:23.127 Joshua: God's still got you even when it don't feel that way. 00:09:23.137 --> 00:09:23.157 He 00:09:23.177 --> 00:09:25.857 Chris: does love me and it's so fricking cool. 00:09:26.827 --> 00:09:27.907 So I'd invite you 00:09:28.087 --> 00:09:28.247 Sam: and 00:09:28.247 --> 00:09:29.277 Chris: anybody else to do that. 00:09:29.287 --> 00:09:30.427 That'd be cool to hear what 00:09:30.427 --> 00:09:30.577 your 00:09:30.587 --> 00:09:31.317 Chris: experience would be. 00:09:32.247 --> 00:09:35.327 Sam: For a while, I beat myself over the head with the parts of my story 00:09:35.327 --> 00:09:38.787 that I thought were the only true parts, which were the positive parts, right? 00:09:38.837 --> 00:09:43.631 I think that's a way that shame would try to beat me, because If my childhood 00:09:43.631 --> 00:09:48.401 really was that good, and my, , I really did have that much support and 00:09:48.401 --> 00:09:51.811 that much fun and I was, you know, such a high achiever and all that, 00:09:52.151 --> 00:09:53.511 then what's wrong with me, right? 00:09:53.511 --> 00:09:56.231 And so I had to let go of that piece to get out , that part of 00:09:56.231 --> 00:09:57.681 my story that I couldn't tell. 00:09:58.681 --> 00:10:02.631 For a while, but now I'm in a spot where I'm like, dude, I would love that. 00:10:02.861 --> 00:10:07.831 That would be so helpful for me to finally integrate those two stories. 00:10:07.831 --> 00:10:11.911 I think that's part of my recovery that Have left to 00:10:11.911 --> 00:10:14.307 do how do I get the full story? 00:10:14.657 --> 00:10:17.697 I finally got out the part of my story I couldn't talk about and I 00:10:17.697 --> 00:10:20.937 started healing it and now I can see the full picture I don't know 00:10:20.937 --> 00:10:22.047 that I've ever really gone back. 00:10:22.057 --> 00:10:22.497 It's funny We've 00:10:22.497 --> 00:10:24.657 Chris: never even talked about that on this podcast like I've 00:10:24.657 --> 00:10:25.997 never even brought that up ever. 00:10:26.137 --> 00:10:26.567 Sam: Yeah 00:10:26.568 --> 00:10:29.407 Chris: So man, 00:10:29.997 --> 00:10:32.427 Joshua: Joseph's does say to do to write the good and the bad. 00:10:32.587 --> 00:10:36.527 Yeah, you do tend to You do tend to lean towards the 00:10:36.537 --> 00:10:39.262 bad . Yeah writing that out You 00:10:40.262 --> 00:10:43.219 Chris: So Josh, why have you decided to share your story? 00:10:43.219 --> 00:10:45.945 Like, I know we had you on the podcast , you and your wife and, 00:10:45.945 --> 00:10:49.915 and I know your story touched a lot of hearts in that, a lot of story, 00:10:50.425 --> 00:10:51.115 you and your wife and everything. 00:10:51.115 --> 00:10:54.505 So, I mean, just, just hearing from meeting with guys at bootcamp and 00:10:54.505 --> 00:10:57.505 they're like, man, Josh's story was so dope and it was so good. 00:10:57.985 --> 00:10:58.645 they're like crying. 00:10:58.675 --> 00:10:59.725 No, I'm not kidding, man. 00:11:00.415 --> 00:11:04.515 Dude, I get this stuff all the time when I go and they're like,, this is who. 00:11:04.850 --> 00:11:05.620 Impacted me. 00:11:06.040 --> 00:11:10.910 I've had guys walk into my office, dude ready for a coaching session and they're 00:11:10.910 --> 00:11:15.780 like that podcast that Josh just did And they start crying and they're like 00:11:15.940 --> 00:11:24.290 you're gonna make me cry right guys And they're like he's just In fact, 00:11:24.290 --> 00:11:28.260 I know one of the guys he walked in and he goes I never got to that point 00:11:29.260 --> 00:11:32.910 Where I wanted to die like Josh did 00:11:33.910 --> 00:11:38.320 and it just just got me and he just starts bawling your story Impacts 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:42.400 people right and that's why we share stories is it can provide hope for 00:11:42.400 --> 00:11:46.440 other people So for you man, like what why should why share your story,? 00:11:46.490 --> 00:11:51.140 Joshua: So I found this podcast Because my neighbor was the audio 00:11:51.140 --> 00:11:55.850 guy you told me about it And I just fell in love with it right away. 00:11:56.350 --> 00:11:56.610 Darth 00:11:56.610 --> 00:11:57.528 Chris: Vader Of audio. 00:11:58.198 --> 00:11:59.778 Joshua: Call out to Jason, my boy. 00:12:00.338 --> 00:12:04.768 And, uh So I've told this before, but I loved listening to it. 00:12:04.768 --> 00:12:05.428 And it was funny. 00:12:05.598 --> 00:12:10.798 I recognized one day I was like, you know, I could tell you probably 80 percent 00:12:10.838 --> 00:12:12.778 of everyone's story before they say it. 00:12:13.488 --> 00:12:15.768 Almost everyone who comes on to tell their story. 00:12:15.898 --> 00:12:17.648 I mean, we all have sexual addiction. 00:12:18.408 --> 00:12:20.228 Almost all of them are members of our church. 00:12:20.248 --> 00:12:23.028 Almost all of them grew up and saw something when they were 00:12:23.248 --> 00:12:24.268 on the internet, whatever. 00:12:24.288 --> 00:12:26.748 You know, I could, I could tell you the story. 00:12:26.748 --> 00:12:28.918 They thought that they was going to get better when they got married. 00:12:29.078 --> 00:12:31.408 It didn't, they tried to clean up before they went on their mission. 00:12:31.478 --> 00:12:32.838 You know, it's all the same. 00:12:32.838 --> 00:12:37.708 And I was like, why do I love it so much when every story is like, The same thing 00:12:37.708 --> 00:12:41.728 beat for beat, but I just listened to it all day ten hours a day I was working 00:12:41.728 --> 00:12:49.048 ten hours a day listening non stop and I loved it and Then I was like it's cuz it's 00:12:49.068 --> 00:12:53.484 my story, But theirs has a happy ending and that's what I said to myself over and 00:12:53.484 --> 00:12:59.214 over and over and one day I was at work with a friend of mine who We had this 00:12:59.214 --> 00:13:03.664 super open, vulnerable conversation about recovering from pornography addiction. 00:13:03.744 --> 00:13:08.054 And I was telling him about this podcast and I just told him that same thing, 00:13:08.054 --> 00:13:13.094 that same message that I'd been telling myself, I love, I love this podcast 00:13:13.114 --> 00:13:18.104 because their stories are like my story, but theirs has a happy ending. 00:13:18.304 --> 00:13:23.704 And then the spirit just smacked me across the face and said, so does yours. 00:13:24.704 --> 00:13:26.924 And I just started crying and then the guy I was working with 00:13:26.924 --> 00:13:27.974 was like, Why are you crying? 00:13:28.074 --> 00:13:28.884 I'm crying now. 00:13:28.914 --> 00:13:30.823 What's going on here? 00:13:30.824 --> 00:13:36.184 And I was like, dude, I just realized that my story has a happy ending too. 00:13:37.184 --> 00:13:37.944 And, uh, 00:13:38.944 --> 00:13:42.364 Yeah, man, the hope that comes from, from being vulnerable and 00:13:42.364 --> 00:13:45.274 sharing authentically with people. 00:13:46.274 --> 00:13:51.094 The hardest parts of your life is, uh, So healing. 00:13:51.524 --> 00:13:55.964 It is so powerful to be able to share that with someone or to 00:13:55.964 --> 00:13:57.574 have someone share that with you. 00:13:58.574 --> 00:13:59.394 Changed my life. 00:13:59.404 --> 00:14:01.664 This podcast has totally changed my life. 00:14:02.664 --> 00:14:04.144 And it's a podcast of stories. 00:14:05.144 --> 00:14:05.874 Chris: Changed my life too. 00:14:06.144 --> 00:14:07.304 Just being on here. 00:14:07.314 --> 00:14:13.223 It's something that when temptations come in, I'm like,, that's not for me. 00:14:13.283 --> 00:14:14.563 That's not who I am anymore. 00:14:15.423 --> 00:14:20.064 I'm different now and our listeners deserve better 00:14:20.064 --> 00:14:23.224 for me and I deserve better. 00:14:23.359 --> 00:14:24.079 Then to act out. 00:14:24.089 --> 00:14:30.039 So I'm like, not for me, it's sharing my story, not just on the podcast, but 00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:34.614 sharing my story across the world has been something that, that has absolutely helped 00:14:34.814 --> 00:14:39.244 me continue to find sobriety over and over again playing that all the way through. 00:14:39.245 --> 00:14:40.574 And I'm like, no, I can lose so much. 00:14:40.574 --> 00:14:42.784 I don't want to lose what I've got. 00:14:43.014 --> 00:14:48.078 And I want to be able to provide hope because God like, he changed me. 00:14:49.078 --> 00:14:54.358 He made me who I, who I became, who I am now, and he changed my life. 00:14:54.888 --> 00:14:59.328 Everything about me and helped me guide me Into to finding the sobriety that I 00:14:59.358 --> 00:15:03.668 needed to finding recovery finding the people putting people in my life over and 00:15:03.668 --> 00:15:09.008 over again when I just felt like I was Worthless and why why send anybody to me? 00:15:09.968 --> 00:15:12.768 Because I don't deserve this and he's like no I got people for you 00:15:12.768 --> 00:15:19.538 and you're gonna share your story and Be a facilitator of changing hearts. 00:15:20.318 --> 00:15:22.118 I'm like, what? 00:15:22.118 --> 00:15:23.108 What are you talking about? 00:15:23.108 --> 00:15:24.348 Like, I don't have any sobriety. 00:15:24.778 --> 00:15:27.828 He's like, no, there's, I got, I got some, some stuff for you. 00:15:28.828 --> 00:15:32.718 And, um, when I had the opportunity to be able to share my story. 00:15:33.468 --> 00:15:34.068 LDS. 00:15:34.078 --> 00:15:37.348 org asked us to, to go on a video that was going to go worldwide. 00:15:38.088 --> 00:15:39.708 And I was like, Yeah. 00:15:40.388 --> 00:15:41.098 What are you talking about? 00:15:41.098 --> 00:15:43.278 They're like, yeah, there's not going to be any anonymity. 00:15:43.658 --> 00:15:44.738 It'll show your face. 00:15:44.748 --> 00:15:46.738 It'll be your voice, everything. 00:15:47.418 --> 00:15:48.888 And we're going to use it around the world. 00:15:48.888 --> 00:15:51.388 And we're like, I don't know about this. 00:15:52.348 --> 00:15:55.288 And I called my brother and , in the scriptures in, um, the 00:15:55.328 --> 00:15:58.638 LDS culture, we have scripture called doctrine of covenants. 00:15:58.668 --> 00:16:02.398 And my brother read a scripture in there and it talked about, , How 00:16:02.398 --> 00:16:05.738 great is it that you bring one person to me, but, , How great is your 00:16:05.738 --> 00:16:08.178 glory, or something along the lines of like, How great shall be your 00:16:08.188 --> 00:16:10.708 Joshua: joy with them in the kingdom of my father, If you 00:16:10.848 --> 00:16:12.328 should bring one soul unto me. 00:16:12.428 --> 00:16:14.238 . Chris: So, he reads that to me. 00:16:14.798 --> 00:16:16.018 Joshua: If you bring more, right? 00:16:16.228 --> 00:16:19.258 Chris: Yep, so he reads that to me on we're just talking on the phone 00:16:19.398 --> 00:16:22.848 And because I was like I have this opportunity to be able to do this and he 00:16:22.848 --> 00:16:27.248 reads that scripture to me because I'm scared I'm like No anonymity like what 00:16:27.248 --> 00:16:32.408 the heck and he's like Chris You will never know the hearts and the people 00:16:32.408 --> 00:16:37.338 that you change He's like you're good until you get up to heaven And you'll 00:16:37.338 --> 00:16:39.858 be sitting there and somebody's going to come up and wrap their arms around 00:16:39.858 --> 00:16:43.418 you that is across the world and they're going to say, you changed my life. 00:16:44.418 --> 00:16:47.338 He's like, I don't know about you, but I think this is something 00:16:47.338 --> 00:16:48.628 that God's calling you into. 00:16:49.528 --> 00:16:51.878 I'm like, God helped me this far. 00:16:51.878 --> 00:16:54.958 I can do what I'll do anything for, for him. 00:16:55.888 --> 00:16:57.478 And so I was like, okay, here we go. 00:16:57.768 --> 00:16:58.748 And I was scared, man. 00:16:58.748 --> 00:17:02.238 I was so scared to have that and have my face out there. 00:17:03.238 --> 00:17:07.168 And then, um, the response that we got from people, because I was just scared of 00:17:07.168 --> 00:17:08.908 like, what is this going to do to my kids? 00:17:09.658 --> 00:17:10.688 Are they going to be shunned? 00:17:10.688 --> 00:17:13.638 Are they going to, you know, I'm scared to death of what people are going to 00:17:13.648 --> 00:17:15.578 see, how they're going to see me now. 00:17:16.578 --> 00:17:20.318 The response was unbelievably awesome ever since. 00:17:21.318 --> 00:17:22.438 Been absolutely amazing. 00:17:23.438 --> 00:17:26.028 People will stop me have stopped me in the store and they're like, 00:17:26.028 --> 00:17:28.438 Hey, were you on this video? 00:17:29.198 --> 00:17:33.028 You know and it's just happened numerous times and it's been so awesome and 00:17:33.028 --> 00:17:37.888 i'm like God I would do anything for you because of what you did for me 00:17:38.718 --> 00:17:42.778 Just in changing my life and helping me and autumn get to where we're at. 00:17:42.778 --> 00:17:48.424 I mean in march I get to celebrate 29 years with autumn Back then, if she 00:17:48.424 --> 00:17:51.814 would have literally said, I would divorce you, I'd have been like, okay. 00:17:52.814 --> 00:17:53.534 Would have walked away. 00:17:54.534 --> 00:17:55.624 But God had other plans. 00:17:56.624 --> 00:17:57.534 He's like, I got you. 00:17:58.534 --> 00:17:59.674 And I'm going to take you places. 00:18:00.474 --> 00:18:01.034 And he has. 00:18:01.064 --> 00:18:03.364 And just, just trusting God. 00:18:03.364 --> 00:18:06.934 We just did an episode of trusting God and that was just one of the 00:18:06.934 --> 00:18:10.714 things, just trusting God and, okay, I'm sharing my story, God. 00:18:10.714 --> 00:18:11.284 Here we go. 00:18:11.424 --> 00:18:13.814 I don't know what's going to happen, but let's see what happens. 00:18:14.814 --> 00:18:15.284 And he did. 00:18:16.284 --> 00:18:19.024 Sam: Sometimes you just need to know that there's someone else who has a similar 00:18:19.024 --> 00:18:24.564 story as yours, except there's had a happy ending and that means yours can too. 00:18:25.384 --> 00:18:32.184 Dude first 12 step meeting I ever went to Chris Bennett, he's my facilitator. 00:18:33.064 --> 00:18:35.604 I Remember you told your story you're at that place. 00:18:35.824 --> 00:18:40.134 You're 18 years sober now at that point You were eight years sober. 00:18:40.144 --> 00:18:44.594 So this is 10 years ago when I met you You're like, yeah, I'm eight 00:18:44.594 --> 00:18:49.324 years sober This is what I've done to achieve recovery You This is 00:18:49.374 --> 00:18:50.494 the kind of person I've become. 00:18:50.494 --> 00:18:51.884 These are the kind of rules I live by. 00:18:51.884 --> 00:18:54.724 This is the kind of discipline and discipleship that I have in my life. 00:18:54.724 --> 00:18:57.894 And there's just something different about you. 00:18:57.894 --> 00:18:59.614 I was like, I could be like that guy someday. 00:19:00.064 --> 00:19:00.674 I could. 00:19:01.334 --> 00:19:02.854 It gave me a lot of courage to keep going. 00:19:03.854 --> 00:19:06.694 So it's, it's the hope in the story, man. 00:19:06.834 --> 00:19:07.934 It's the hope in the story. 00:19:07.934 --> 00:19:11.494 That's why we tell the stories and my story is not finished yet. 00:19:11.824 --> 00:19:13.664 Joshua's story is not finished yet. 00:19:13.944 --> 00:19:14.614 Chris: My story is not 00:19:14.694 --> 00:19:15.074 Sam: finished yet. 00:19:15.114 --> 00:19:16.874 Chris's story is not finished yet. 00:19:17.874 --> 00:19:21.104 Chris: There's some massive parts of my story just beginning, you 00:19:21.104 --> 00:19:25.674 know, and for, for anybody out there listening to this right now, 00:19:26.674 --> 00:19:27.964 there's a happy ending for you too. 00:19:28.964 --> 00:19:29.474 It's up to you. 00:19:29.794 --> 00:19:30.554 You can build it. 00:19:31.554 --> 00:19:33.164 You can design it however you want. 00:19:34.164 --> 00:19:35.804 But I suggest you don't do it alone 00:19:36.244 --> 00:19:39.944 Joshua: anything's possible with two people as long as one of them's jesus 00:19:40.944 --> 00:19:41.624 Chris: I love that 00:19:41.744 --> 00:19:43.274 Joshua: shout out to joshua stover. 00:19:43.314 --> 00:19:44.114 That's his phrase. 00:19:44.184 --> 00:19:48.234 Sam: Thank you Guys we want to hear your stories if you're if you're in a spot 00:19:48.234 --> 00:19:52.464 right now where you feel like you you're in recovery and you've experienced some 00:19:52.464 --> 00:19:55.632 healing and and you feel like You have something that would bring hope to people. 00:19:55.632 --> 00:19:58.897 We want to hear your story shoot me an email, sam at unashamed, unafraid. 00:19:58.927 --> 00:20:01.377 com and we'll get you on the podcast. 00:20:01.657 --> 00:20:04.247 If you're at a point in recovery where you haven't talked to anyone about your 00:20:04.247 --> 00:20:07.057 story, you haven't shared your story, you haven't written down your story, 00:20:07.149 --> 00:20:09.299 do the work to get your story down, 00:20:09.882 --> 00:20:11.149 Chris: send Us Your story. 00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:15.309 Even if we're not putting it on the podcast, if you just need to feel like 00:20:15.309 --> 00:20:16.839 you need to share your story with. 00:20:17.239 --> 00:20:19.589 One of us, like, shoot us an email. 00:20:19.689 --> 00:20:20.329 Sam: I'd listen to your 00:20:20.329 --> 00:20:20.669 story. 00:20:20.784 --> 00:20:21.074 alright. 00:20:21.784 --> 00:20:23.074 Guys, thanks for watching. 00:20:23.127 --> 00:20:25.657 Find us on social media at unashamedunafraid. 00:20:25.657 --> 00:20:27.917 com You can get access to our bonus content and become an 00:20:27.927 --> 00:20:29.547 outsider on unashamed, unafraid. 00:20:29.547 --> 00:20:29.877 com. 00:20:30.217 --> 00:20:32.367 Remember to subscribe to our YouTube channel. 00:20:32.367 --> 00:20:36.027 And if this was helpful to you, it'll probably be helpful to someone else. 00:20:36.287 --> 00:20:38.887 So take some time right now and share it with a friend. 00:20:39.127 --> 00:20:40.197 Thanks again for watching. 00:20:40.197 --> 00:20:43.107 And until next time, continue to live unashamed.