It's Peaches taking over the morning show.
Yeah, what are you doing? Why are you in my seat? Uh-
You, you allowed me to, uh, sit in the driver's seat because I was supposed to interview, start the interview with Bert Krischer at 8:15. It's now 8:27. Um, at 8:14, I received a text saying, "Bert still hasn't logged onto his interview with his 8:00 AM yet."
He's probably hungover.
I guess. I mean, what, what was the last show he was at?
Doesn't he l- yeah, where, where is he currently at? When did he p- did he do one last night?
Well, he started the tour on September 18th, so let's go ahead and see where he was at on September 25th. Come on, don't give me the tiniest, tiniest tour poster possible.
[laughs]
Oh, actually... So he has big gaps in between the shows.
Okay.
Like, he was in Duluth, Minnesota September 21st.
I've been there.
And then September 28th, he is going to be in Eugene, Oregon.
Okay.
Then October 1st, Morrison, Colorado. Then October 2nd, West Valley City, Utah. And then obviously, Idaho Falls, Idaho, October 3rd.
All right. Will you turn my headphones up? Uh, there we go. That's a little bit better. Um, yeah, he may end up popping in while we're sitting here yapping on air.
And we might just take him live the whole interview before you.
We might have to, yeah.
Yeah.
I've got nothing prepped for it, so.
I got, I got some stuff. And plus, he's a talker. I mean, he's used to just going on and on and on. I watched one of his previous bits about fat people things.
Mm-hmm.
And I was gonna mention to him that it's like, when you're the fat guy, when you're the bigger dude, everyone blames you for breaking the chairs.
That's right. Uh, I, I did try to pass the buck and blame you for broken chairs yesterday when I threw a tantrum.
And then also, um, every single time you walk out of the restroom, everyone assumes you just wrecked the entire place.
Of, of course, 'cause you're a big guy.
Right.
[laughs]
There was that one time there was like four of you right outside the bathroom. I walked down, everyone was like, "Oh, come on."
Oh no, Peaches was in there. Oh, oh.
I didn't tell you though, there's still the... I got my power rankings though when it comes to the stink, the stink meter.
Oh, yeah, yeah, when... Oh, there, there's like an old guy outside.
Oh, Lieutenant Crane is here.
Oh, and we got the cops, we got an old man. Oh, and, uh, he's even, uh, suited up today.
Going to the range, my friend.
Yeah. Going to the range? Here, you take this mic.
All right, you go ahead and leave, Victor. Looks like we got her covered.
All right, cool.
[laughs]
S- sweet. I'm gonna go take a nap in my office.
Are, are, are we about to have four people with Bert Krischer on the Zoom call? [laughs]
I, I don't know, it depends if he shows up. You gotta... I love it when artists or celebrities show up late for an interview. Thanks, Jade. Jade just hooked up a bunch of haunted passports.
Oh, sweet. They look nice.
26 seconds. How do they work? Okay, they'll, they'll, they'll punch them? Yep. That what's going on there? Yep. All right, cool. Have fun. These look very nice. You tell Star great job. You tell Star great job. I will. You should! I'm gonna! You too, Peaches.
[laughs] All right.
[laughs] So yeah, Peaches was supposed to be doing an interview about 15 minutes ago, but Bert, you know Bert Krischer?
No, I don't. Does he know me?
Uh-
[laughs]
He prob- you, you'll probably run into his bus [laughing] when he's driving into town. His face is real big on the side. I believe it's still, that's still the case. Um...
Yeah, he's famous for his story, um, about when he went to, was it Russia?
He went to Russia and he joined the Russian mafia because he got along with those guys, and there's a whole-
Uh, so they called him The Machine.
There's a whole movie called The Machine where Mark Hamill plays his dad and, yeah. It's a, it's... I haven't seen the movie as of yet, but-
Ye- uh, uh-
I need to
... you haven't seen it?
No, I need to, I need to watch it.
It, it was pretty entertaining. He's a comedian, you know?
He's gonna be at the Mountain America Center on Friday, October 3rd, so-
You know, if, if Lieutenant Crane's on, if he pops on in the next few minutes, we could ask him how we can get... 'cause he's friends with Joe Rogan, how we can line up that cage match-
Let's get it on
... between you and Joe Rogan.
Let's get it on.
Oh, yeah.
That's true. Oh, yeah. [laughs]
[laughs]
We, we, we just wanted to book the interview right when Traffic School started so that way we can, you know, line that all up.
But, yeah. Look, I was guessing he's hungover and that's why he's late, you know? If, if he's in, uh, LA, probably, I would assume?
Uh, no, he's in... Uh, do you think he goes back home in between shows?
Probably.
If there's like a week long break?
Yeah, I'm sure he f- just flies back home.
Huh.
Yeah.
Yeah. And he's still not... It's 8:31, he's still not joining.
[laughs] Yeah.
He's a comic.
Are you trying to catch a tan?
Am I tryna... Oh, 'cause the, the sun, the light. Yeah.
[laughs] We gotta look good on camera, so, yeah.
How's it getting both of you?
I, I, I'm not turning this one on. My... I don't have a camera on me, 'cause I didn't intend to be here. I was in my office working on stuff. And then it was time to yap on air so I told Peaches to drag me in, so.
That's the first time I've heard those two words together, Victor and work.
[laughs] What?
[laughing]
That's all I do is work.
He is one of those lazy liberals, that's for sure.
[laughs]
[laughs] Oh, yeah. I was gonna get a bit woke this morning.
[laughs]
Talk to you about something that I... I don't even remember how this came up yesterday, but, um, what... You know how I get mad about-
Hey, did you... Have you not heard? We're supposed to be turning the temperature down.
No, let's turn it up.
No.
Let's turn it up. No, I've just... You know how often I complain about stupid Idaho laws.
Let me think about it. Yeah, I've heard it.
[laughs]
[laughing]
No, it just... I don't know how the subject came up, but we were talking about firearms, um, the other day. And, you know, back in the day, I don't know if you're aware of this, but I actually sold guns, um, at a shop in Burley. And it's really... You, you have to go through like a-
Pack the smokes and a six shooter. [laughs]
Yeah, that's how it was.
Cowboys. I mean-
You know, this is Idaho. So yeah, we'd sell beer, tobacco-
[laughs] And guns
... guns. [laughs]
[laughs]
But you have to go through an extensive, like, uh-
Background
... background check, and I had to get a license to be able to sell. You know, they dug up all the dirt on me, and I guess I was good enough. They said, "You're good to go."
[laughs]
And then, you know, if you wanna buy a gun at a, you know, a licensed store, you have to fill out the form.
Yep.
You call it in, you get a big background check and stuff. Why can you just go buy a gun from a stranger in the Walmart parking lot?
That's a great question, because you can't.
You can't. It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Like, with how, how crazy it was to be able to sell guns, and, uh, also just to buy one from a store. You would just think with, you know, if we wanna do some things about gun problems, I- I just think you should, you, you should probably not be able to just buy a gun from a stranger in a parking lot.
You know what?
'Cause they don't have to give you a background check. I was reading about it, and it's like, "You just have to go. Meh, you look all right." [laughs]
You know why they do that?
No, I don't. [laughs]
Just to tick you off. [laughs]
It's- it's just crazy to me. You know, any nut can just, you know, be- be on a forum, be like, "Yeah, I swear I'm a good dude." [laughs] Hook it up.
There, there used to be guns at the Idaho Falls Walmart, but they only have them now at the Rexburg Walmart. Why is that the case?
I don't know.
I don't think you can buy them at Rexburg.
You can't? Oh, the... I just- I just see the shelf there with all those different guns there, and I can only imagine someone like Rexburgian going, "Yeah, I'll take a, you know, a shotgun."
So Walmart would have to put you through a background check, just like Victor used to have to.
Oh, gotcha.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's why, you know-
Better retail
... if you're a criminal, you just get on an online forum and meet at the Walmart parking lot.
[laughs]
I bet there's more guns sold in that Walmart parking lot than anywhere else.
I was gonna say, I didn't know about this, Victor. Did you do it yourself? [laughs]
Uh, no, because I used to sell firearms, and I thought it was crazy at the time. So I'm like-
There's more than that sold in the Walmart parking lot. [laughs]
Oh, I'm sure. [laughs] I'm sure. [laughs]
[laughs]
It's a one-stop shop.
Yeah, I don't know. It was just something that, uh, I wasn't sure if that was still legal, 'cause it nev- it never made sense to me. You know? But, you know, what do I know? We don't need s- seatbelts on the school bus.
[laughs]
I can't wait 'til you mature and run for legislative office.
Well, I've talked about that too. I- I can't because of the, you know, corrupt FCC.
[laughs]
[laughs] They got this thing called the equal time rule, and so if I was to run for office, I would have to allow every other candidate running the same amount of airtime that I get.
And you don't think you could beat him?
Oh, dude, I'm gonna win, easy. Who's not gonna, who's not gonna vote for me?
I can-
Uh, pe- people on your Facebook comment section?
[laughs]
I think there might be two in the room.
Two of them?
[laughs]
Well, you guys would have my back. You'd vote for me. Come on. Come on.
So, I do have a funny story about that. We were working at a small agency, and a gentleman decided he was gonna run for, uh, sheriff. And we all told him, "Oh, don't do it. Don't do it." Right? "It's gonna be bad."
Yeah.
And, uh, he come out with very few votes. And he said, "Well, at least I know my wife voted for me." We were like, "Oh no, you don't know that for sure."
[laughs]
"Because when you go in that little box, you have the choice to vote for anybody you want."
I know, I always try to remind everybody that. You know, just 'cause your family and friends think a certain way-
[laughs]
... you know, you can use some logic when it comes to voting. [laughs]
[laughs]
You don't just got to be a follower. [laughs]
[laughs]
Be an individual. Um, now... Oh yeah, I remember why the gun thing came. Because there was a... I- I think it was yesterday, some kind of a threat at a local school or something like that.
Coppell, yep.
They had to shut down a few schools.
Here in Idaho Falls.
Yeah. What... Okay, you know how the government wastes a bunch of money all the time-
Never notice. [laughs]
... on stupid things, like, you know, banning truck nuts, or sending our, sending our local representatives to other countries?
Why did you wind him up this morning? [laughs]
[laughs]
I'm just sitting here trying to wait for Bert Krischer. I'm wa- I'm watching this number like a hawk.
[laughs]
But yeah, with all the dumb things that, uh, we do, like sending our local politicians to other countries on vacation on the taxpayer dime.
[laughs]
You know, why don't we-
Those are called trade missions.
Why don't we put metal detectors in the schools? Is there a... You know, who's fighting against this? Isn't that just like-
There, there are metal detectors in a lot of schools.
Why not every single one?
That's a great... Probably funding.
I'm... That's what I'm talking about.
[laughs]
You know?
Do you know that, uh, education's our number one funded, uh, budget item in Idaho right now?
Oh, is that why they were cutting it this year?
[laughs] They're... We're all getting cuts.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah. Got... Well, all right, I'm not gonna get political here.
[laughs]
We had a surplus from a while back. [laughs]
We- we're still in the surplus.
Okay.
But we're trying to look for out- long term outcome.
Okay, so instead of, you know, sending our local politicians on vacation-
[laughs]
... how about we use that budget for something better? See, I should run for office. Cut wasteful spending.
[laughs]
Metal detectors in the schools. Background checks if you want to buy a gun.
[laughs] This is-
I don't think that's that radical, but that's me. No Bert Krischer yet?
[laughs]
Not yet.
This guy is a, a real turd.
I mean, here's the thing, Kelsey texted me saying, "I've been emailing all of his contacts, no response." And uh-
Yeah, he's hung over.
No, he's already doing a whole interview with somebody else.
So... Well, you s- she said he hadn't checked in for that one yet.
Well, I think he's in it now.
Maybe.
But she's like, "I don't think he knows we're on Mountain time or what."
[laughs]
Like I said, he's hung over. [laughs]
[laughs]
He's known for his drinking.
Yeah.
That's for sure.
I'm sure-
What time is it?
Uh, it's 8:00, 8:00... almost 8:40.
Almost 8:40.
8:38.
Just about time for Traffic School, powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys.
Who knows, we might have Bert on the show.
If you can count on somebody, count on the Idaho State Police. They will show up and will be on time.
That's right. He was early. Look at this. You know, and he's suited up and everything. He's ready to go.
And not hung over. [laughs]
And not hung over. This time. No. [laughs]
And carrying a legal purcha- legally purchased weapon. [laughs]
On the taxpayer dime. Yeah. Do you guys have to purchase your own firearms, or they issue it to you?
Oh, you bought it for me.
I knew it.
[laughs]
I pay your wages and buy your guns.
You bought everything I'm wearing except my underwear right now.
Yeah, pretty mu- yeah.
Yeah.
Look at that nice, uh, nice suit, that sweet ride that you get to roll around in.
[laughs]
You know, I'm just burning gas in that truck. [laughs]
[laughs] Every time I fuel it up, I'm like, "Wow, Victor paid like 32 cents on this one."
[laughs]
[laughs] Well, yeah, I mean, we could just... I- if you wanna drive, Peaches, we could do traffic school. And if Bert happens to pop in, we'll just put him on the show.
Yeah, I mean, he, he'd be pretty funny with this type of thing, 'cause I'm sure he has lots of questions.
Yeah, he'd probably love to ask cop questions. Just, it would be a great surprise too, 'cause we can slowly move you around the table. [laughs]
[laughs]
The, there's a cop. [laughs]
Was there a bag of weed on your bus? [laughs]
[laughs]
All right, well, let's go to break since, uh-
It's 8:39. It's time for a break.
Yeah, dump out whatever songs are sitting there.
Yeah, well, they're already all gone.
All right. Let's go to break, and then we'll fire up Traffic School Powered by The Advocates here in just a few minutes. 208-535-1015, the number to call. We'd love to have you on the show. Participate. Come on, don't suck.
Victor, I didn't put the bed in the, uh-
That's okay-
Okay
... 'cause we've already got a caller on hold.
Sure.
So, we'd have to turn it off anyway.
Hey, now you're live on the show, Traffic School Powered by The Advocates. Who's this?
This is Anonymous.
Anonymous? Oh, okay. [laughs] Will you turn the headphones up, Peaches?
Yeah, you guys-
That's one of your voters.
There we go.
You guys go ahead. I'm gonna... [laughing] I'm gonna reschedule Zoom meeting with her.
All right, me and, me and Lieutenant Cran will yap. You, you work on that meeting, Peaches. So, Anonymous, what's up? What do you wanna know?
Since Idaho is an open carry state,
do you people, meaning-
You people. [laughs]
... Lieutenant Cran and- [laughs]
The good guys.
Do you, do you run every single gun you come across?
Absolutely. Yep. If, if we... No, I wouldn't say 100% of the time, but there's, uh... Any guns we come across, especially after an arrest. Let's say this, after an arrest, 100% of the time. Just on a traffic stop, no. Uh, but a high percentage of the time on a traffic stop.
Okay, and, and doesn't that... Isn't that
basically against the open carry?
Well, open carry just means you can-
You can walk around-
... walk around with it.
With it, yeah. So, on a traffic stop, if I don't have reasons to run the weapon, uh,
you know, I, I don't have the right to do that, right? But if I make an arrest and find a weapon in there, and especially if you're a felon and you can't be in possession of the firearm.
Correct, I know. I, I get that, and that's why, that's, that's basically my question is, if you're doing a traffic stop and the guy tells you, "Hey, I've got one right here, see?" Do you go out of your way to find something to run the gun for?
I don't know if we go out of our way. I'd like to think we do good police work and, uh, if we have suspicions, um,
maybe ask some questions. If we have, uh, reasonable grounds to run it, run it. And if we have probable cause, for sure, 100%, run it.
Now-
All right
... what do you, what do you do when this person has bought this gun in a Walmart parking lot-
[laughs]
... and they didn't have to register it, so it pops up in the previous owner's name?
Well, it'll pop up in the previous owner's name, but what will happen is if there's... If it's ever been registered to be involved in a, uh, crime, and they have the serial number, it'll be registered. And the other thing, if it's ever been stolen, it'll be registered. Other than that, we're probably not getting much information back on it.
Yeah.
But I will tell you this. We do, um... Well, we test fire all the weapons we get into evidence now. And we started doing that about a year and a half ago, and ever since we have, we've made two matches just out of Idaho Falls by identifying bullet pattern markings and, uh, identified two weapons that have been involved in crimes.
Oh, wow! That's cool.
Yeah. So, uh, we test fire a lot of weapons, but that's pretty, that's pretty neat that we've able- been able to find two that have been inv- involved in crimes.
And you just get to shoot for fun.
Uh, it's not really that. It's, we got a, uh, gun trap-
Oh, yeah
... and you put the barrel in it and shoot it, and it goes down a tube and into the water.
Oh, that's
high tech. [laughs]
[laughs]
So, s- say this person buys the gun in the Walmart parking lot from somebody else.
I'll tell you what, Anonymous, you bring all your guns down here, we'll run them.
[laughs]
We'll see if you're in good shape or not.
That's a new segment, What's In The Box? [laughing]
Hey, this is an easy resolve. If you want, you wanna feel the peace of knowing that all your guns are legal and upstanding, you can bring them down here. We'll run them right now.
But then I lose them, correct?
If they're-
Yeah. [laughs]
... involved in a crime. [laughs]
Yeah. If- if you can't legally have it, yeah.
[laughs]
Not only that, you might-
You're-
... we might have a place for you to visit this weekend. [laughs]
Are you a felon? [laughing]
I just meant, like, if, if somebody stole it and you bought it 'cause it was a good deal,
and you didn't know it was stolen.
Your daddy taught you a long time, if it's too good to be real, it's too good to be real. [laughs]
Oh, there you go. [laughs] That's why you should buy from a licensed dealer, all right? [laughs]
You had a driver's license.
Well, you know, I've seen teenagers with them too. [laughs]
[laughs] Don't mean they can drive. [laughs]
Exactly. All right, guys, I appreciate it. Thank you.
Hey, thanks, Anonymous. Have a good one.
Yeah, let's make out an appointment, and we'll get together.
[laughs] You bet. [laughing]
That's not happening.
Oh, he just hung up. There we go. Well, um, we had this question, Lieutenant Cran, 'cause I saw this yesterday. Um, there's a r- radio DJ that you know pretty well, uh, in the area-
[laughs]
... that, uh, decided to, uh, on his way to a, a remote broadcast, record himself while driving, holding the phone.
Now, I, I don't know if he was holding it.
He was holding it. You saw the arm.
Uh-
There's no way he would drive with a mount like this.
I te- identify marks.
Now, the... When I saw the video, the only thing I noticed was he was definitely not keeping his eyes on the road.
No, he was not.
'Cause he kept talking directly [laughs] into the camera.
[laughs]
He looked, he looked at the camera-
And the camera was like down kinda below
... and glanced at the road. Yeah.
He was directly talking to you, Victor.
That's right, he was. [laughing] Now, we know you're supposed to go hands free while driving, you know, not use your phone. Making videos while driving, is that legal?
Well, is it in his hands or is it in a mount?
Uh, I, I think it was in a mount.
I kinda wanna pull up the video, but I can't play the audio.
'Cause I... Yeah, I, I... Pull up the video, but keep-
Pull up the video, Jamie
... keep the, uh... Make sure that that pot is turned down.
Yeah, it's off.
Okay.
Those scaredy-cats.
So-
Well, I mean, w- we could oust, we could oust them, but-
'Cause I would think the camera would've been moving around if it was in his hand. It looked like it was p- pretty stable.
Did they delete it, or did, did they just post that much? Oh, here it is. Okay, here's the video. See?
Okay.
So, if I recall correct, the camera was pretty stable.
Yeah, it's stable. Both his arms are down to his side.
Okay. So...
Yeah, so, he- his arms are down to the elbows or down to his ribcage so his hands are up on the, on the, uh, steering wheel. But yeah, he's talkin' to the... and it's mounted up on the dash.
But it does look like he's taken his eyes off the road quite frequently.
I know, he's definitely staring at the phone. [laughs]
[laughs] So-
Oh my God, he just, he just pointed to the phone right now. [laughs]
So, if, uh, yeah, if we had a law that said any time you take your eyes off the road, we would be super busy.
Yeah, that's true.
Right? Yeah, 'cause how many people eat and drive?
And that's-
Chipsy. [laughs]
And that is distracted driving.
Driving.
And if you get in an accident, you're callin' The Advocates Injury Attorneys.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
If you get hit by somebody like that, absolutely.
Well- well, when you eat a burrito like me, you're a professional.
Dude, I can't, eh, eh, I gotta have th- the right kinda food to eat and drive. Burrito would be all over me. It'd be a mess.
You're also very shaky though.
Sometimes.
Some- all the time.
Nervous drivin'.
[laughs]
'Cause of people like that guy.
[laughs]
Nervous driving. [laughs]
Yeah.
When I worked for the first agency I worked for, I don't know why it was, but the big thing was to drink soda pop and eat sunflower seeds, right? And so, I'd never ate sunflower seeds before this, and, uh, so you crack 'em, spit the seed out, or spit the shell out and eat the seed, and, uh, for whatever reason, I was givin' the boss a ride somewhere and we get a hot call, and I'm in the middle of trying to eat sunflower seeds and drink soda-
[laughs]
... and drive to this hot call. And I just remember we pull up on the scene, and he looked over at me before we get outta the car and he goes, "What is a matter with you?" [laughs]
[laughs]
And I said, "What's goin' on?" He goes, "You better learn how to eat sunflow- flower seeds and drive before you go on your next code run." [laughs]
[laughs] I thought it was donuts. See, I just learned something new today.
Yeah, it was sunflower seeds.
Sunflower seeds.
That, that agency was sunflower seeds and soda, man.
Wow. Yeah, I guess you're not gonna throw that agency under the bus, huh?
No. Every, every patrol car we had had a big old one-pound sa- bag of sunflower seeds.
What? [laughs]
[laughs] I don't know why.
[laughs]
More of my taxpayer dollars!
No, no, that was on the officer.
Oh, okay, okay.
We had to buy 'em, and, and it was your responsibility, if you ate the last of it, go buy the new bag. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, all right.
And just think of this, we're all stickin' our same dirty hands down in there somethin'. [laughs]
Oh, no. Oh, that's gross.
[laughs]
Uh, wash your hands.
Yeah.
[laughs]
So, I would buy my own separate bag, and, and I, just so you know, I can eat sunflower seeds and drive now.
You got, you got the skill finally?
I got it down, yeah.
All right, all right.
I used to be that guy that would eat the sunflower seeds whole.
Ugh.
[laughs]
Oh, Peaches. That's gotta be bad for your insides.
Yeah, it's the horrible exit.
It made him big. [laughs]
[laughs]
Oh, maybe you should eat sunflower seeds whole.
I'm gonna go get some today.
Hey, ask your brother if he ate sunflower seeds whole.
He might've. [laughs]
[laughs]
Well, we have some online questions. By the way, if you wanna call the show, 208-535-1015, or if you're Bert Kreischer listening, log into the Zoom, dude.
Get on it. [laughs]
Oh, the update is that I had to send him an updated link. Um, Kelsey from the Mountain America Center emailed it to them, his team, and asked for a confirmation that they received and passed it on.
Okay.
So, maybe Bert thinks we're on Pacific Time, I have no clue.
I guess we'll find out. Yeah, maybe he goes on at 9:15?
Oh, yeah. That'd be right around when traffic school's over with.
Mm-hmm. That, it would be fine. Um, online question, "How much horsepower can you have and still be street legal, or is there a limit?" From Anthony.
I, I don't think there's a limit, just how do you use it, right?
Yeah.
How do you use it? And, uh, I just looked at a car yesterday. There's a, a shop up by my home that does, uh, vintage cars, and I went in there, and they got an engine in a Ford Thunderbird that has 800 horse.
Whoa.
See, I compare it to PC gaming-
Basically
... to where, like, you don't need that great of a computer to run these games. Why would you need 800 horsepower-
[laughs]
... to go to a, go a speed limit of 45? [laughs]
[laughs]
You know?
'Cause you feel tough.
Right, yeah.
Peaches.
Like [imitates engine revving].
Yeah, hit that gas. It's satisfying.
That's the same thing about going to the gym, right? And when you said feel tough, it reminded me, the other day I seen these three great big guys leave the gym, and they were huge, monstrous, muscular-bound guys. And I walked over and I said, "Man, there must be a lot of pianos to move around this city." [laughs]
[laughs]
Should've got their number. I got this old organ in my basement-
Oh, yeah
... that I can't get out of the basement 'cause it's too heavy. I need those guys to come over. [laughs] Yeah.
I need the, the storage space.
You wanna see me lift that piano? [laughs]
Yeah. [laughs]
Well, Lieutenant Crane, you should've seen Victor lift a dresser with me. It was the funniest thing. He was so out of breath.
I was, I was tired.
We walked like 20 feet. [laughs]
I was tired. [laughs]
[laughs]
You're twice my size. All right, c'mon.
No, not, not, not horizontally. [laughs]
Well, yeah, these days, I know, I need to slim it down a bit. There's just too much food around, you know? That's what happens if you got, you know, a lady living with you. All of a sudden, there's food in the house.
I've seen her. She's not fat.
I'm not saying she is. [laughs]
[laughs]
But if she was-
If she was. [laughs]
... that would be pretty rude. [laughs] Oh my goodness. All right.
Oh, we got somebody calling in here. Hey, is this Bert Kreischer?
Sorry, what was that?
No, nothing. I'm just kidding.
[laughs]
Your Life on Traffic School Powered by The Advocates. Who's this?
Uh, this is JR.
What up, JR? What do you wanna know?
Um, so what's the... Is this still the traffic training, or-
Yeah, it's training school. [laughs]
Yep, that's right. We're learning too.
Sorry, I'm listening to it on the radio right now and I didn't know if it was or not. [laughs]
Yep, yep.
Yeah, it's hard to tell. [laughs]
[laughs]
So I have a custom-built truck.
... and, um, I'm just curious 'cause my wheels stick about six inches outside my fenders. Is that illegal to have?
Absolutely. [laughs]
Yep. You need to get some, uh, wheel... What do we call those? A wheel well?
Wh- well, fender covers.
Fender covers.
Yeah. And I'll tell you what. Nine out of ten people do not like your truck. [laughs]
[laughs] You broke my windshield, dude. What are you doing?
I have mud flaps on it. Is that a l- illegal to have still, or do I still have to have fender flares?
O- okay, so you gotta have mud flaps and you gotta have fender flares. So if you can drop a dime off the side of your pickup and it hits your tire, you'd still need to go out further.
Oh. Well, I'm screwed then. [laughs]
[laughs] Sorry, buddy.
Yeah. And it's hard on wheel bearings. [laughs]
Oh, yeah. It's extremely hard. I'm like, almost three grand into my front end.
Yeah.
[laughs] Well, go back to the bank for another loan, dude. Gotta get them fender flares.
[laughs] Just about said something.
All righty. Well, I appreciate you guys.
Hey, thanks, man. Appreciate you listening to the show, and have a good weekend.
You too. Buh-bye.
Well, I'm glad you didn't drop a bunch of profanity on air, so-
No, I was thinking, eh, "I'll tell ya off-air." [laughs]
Okay. Okay. We got another caller here.
Why y'all bleeping and bleep, bleep, bleep?
Well, hold on. Hold on. We're talking here.
[laughs]
Uh, who's this?
Sorry.
[laughs] Wh- who's this?
Troublemaker.
Troublemaker. What do you wanna know this week?
No, I was just calling to remark on that, uh... The big buff guy's tearing your organ out for you.
Tell him.
Once, uh... Uh, being poor boy farmers, we didn't have Harrow beds when I was... One of my first jobs was bucking bales, and we had a couple of guys come out and, and try to walk along with this and buck bales up onto the deck of the semi. They lasted about a half a field, and they were all cramped up over in the... Laying down on their side and crying.
That would be me. [laughs]
Well, you know... [laughs]
[laughs]
Now you're making fun of me.
[laughs]
Hey, I'll tell you what, Troublemaker. Isn't it fun when you're doing that, though, and you get those surprises under those bales? The mice and snakes that come out?
[laughs]
'Cause-
Oh, yeah
... I'm not a fan of either, man.
Yeah.
I can tap dance like no other.
[laughs] Mine would always just spring right up onto the semi bed with the bales. [laughs]
Oh.
Yeah, you, you learn to tip the bale away from you, 'cause if you pick it up just straight up they come at you.
Oh.
So you roll it-
Yeah?
... so they give, give light away from you. Then they'll take off that way first, so...
Ugh.
Yeah.
Another reason I ain't doing it.
Another reason I'm not gonna be no tough farmer. [laughs]
That's right.
[laughs]
I'll leave the farming to them-
[laughs]
... to them farmers. Another reason I'm gonna set my recliner.
... everybody's got Harrow. Everybody's got Harrow beds nowadays, so they don't have to do that no more.
Oh. Yeah, I didn't know. I thought there was guys out there just chucking those bales.
[laughs] Shows what I know about farming. Y- you've seen my boy, right?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he had to move some three-string hay bales the other day. [laughs] He come and he's like, "Holy cow."
[laughs]
But they're like a 140 pounds. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah, I don't know how much that dresser we moved weighed, but it was pretty heavy.
Well, the worst part is that my, uh, girlfriend's place is on the third floor, and she's just moving in.
Is that hard to jump out of the window when her boyfriend comes home? [laughs]
[laughs]
Especially at your size.
Just walk in.
"Honey, I gotta quit jumping out of this third floor building. It's hard on my knees." [laughs]
[laughs]
'Cause I'm su- no ropes holding me from propelling down or something like that. [laughs]
[laughs]
Yeah, you must really like her, 'cause that might be it. You know, "I'm sorry, babe."
[laughs] Yeah, dude.
"I think that, uh, it's time to end this relationship." Third floor apartment, and you're moving. "Ah, I gotta go."
Well, her r- her roommate just got a new dresser. And it's at the bottom of the stairs, and it's 140 pounds.
So, the same as a h- bale of hay.
Yeah. Yeah. She couldn't move it.
Yeah.
So they're calling Peaches.
Right.
All right. Well, appreciate the call, man. And, uh, hope you have a great weekend, Troublemaker.
Yeah. You too. See you guys.
Well, see you. All right. Let's do another.
Hey, you're on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who is this?
He looks at you for confirmation that's who the call- [laughs]
Yeah, he usually goes on some tangent.
[laughs] You- you pick it up any time.
I was waiting for him to go into like a political [laughs]-
[laughs]
... political tirade.
A little boy asking his mom, "Can I have another piece of candy?"
[laughs]
I'm like, "What do we do? 'Cause Bert still hasn't joined the Zoom call yet."
That's okay. He'll-
It's-
... wake up eventually.
And it's 9:00 AM, so...
[laughs] He's only 45 minutes late.
Yeah.
[laughs]
Should we yell at him?
For being late?
Yeah.
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. If he actually shows up, be like, "Dude, do you know what Mountain time is, bro?" [laughs] All right. Call in.
How hung over are you?
Oh, is it my turn to talk now?
Oh. [laughs]
Oh.
Actually, it is. Go ahead. Who's this?
It is Victor Schill. [laughs]
[laughs]
That's right. There's a name on it. It's mine.
[laughs]
Y- I... You guys must have been tempted to be like, "No," and then hang up, but anyway...
Yeah. If it was me running the board, that's what would have happened.
[laughs]
But...
Oh. Okay. Well, thanks, Peaches, for being understanding.
[laughs]
Uh, so two questions. Uh, the first one, I've never sold a gun to somebody before. If I did want them to have to go through a background check, could I take it to a gun shop and have them do that part for me?
You can do that through a gun shop that does consignments. And then they'll charge you like, 15, 20 bucks to do the paperwork.
Oh, okay. All right. I, I figured as much, but I've never done that. And then the other question is, if, uh, nobody ever got drunk except in their home, would the police departments all have to downsize?
Uh, I tell you, we have plenty of alcohol-related incidents, but drugs, uh, prescription medication, and just flat can't get along with my family still [laughs] is up there.
Yeah. [laughs]
[laughs]
Should I start that Zoom meeting?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Any time I watch one of those, uh, those body cam videos, and it's like a domestic, I feel so bad for that officer, 'cause that's just an awful situation.
Oh, it's lose/lose. It doesn't matter who's the aggressor and who's the victim in it. When you show up, you're the hated guy by both.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would probably-
Yeah
... start the Zoom in case he shows up.
Yeah. I haven't received a confirmation text about him receiving it.
Yeah, fire it up. 'Cause I mean, if he...... is on in 15 minutes, he'd still have 25 minutes.
Yeah.
And if he doesn't... If he ain't on by like, 9:15, I mean, I'd probably be like-
Yeah
... "Peace out, bro. [laughs] You're way too late."
Yeah.
So anyway, sorry caller.
He's a funny guy, but he's kind of being a hoser right now, you know?
[laughs] He has no idea for the last 45 minutes, "Where's Burt? Geez!" So...
Yeah.
All right. Well, that's- that's all I got. You guys have a good one.
Yeah, you too, man. Good to hear from you.
I'm a little concerned because Peaches just keeps wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. [laughs]
It's true.
[laughs]
He really wants to talk to Burt. Burt's breaking his big heart, you know.
[laughs]
Well, we got to do the whole legal ID thing real fast, so we'll do that real, real quick and then come back to this caller. All right, Victor, am I allowed to take this caller here?
[laughs] Yes, go ahead, Peaches.
Oh, he hung up.
He hung up.
Oh, nope.
Okay. Hello, you're live on Traffic School powered by The Advocates. Who's this?
Sundae, sundae, sundae!
Yeah!
Yeah, there he is, there's Carl. We knew Carl would call.
Hey, Carl, why don't you bring your cars up to the Figure 8 race tomorrow night at 7:00?
Oh, absolutely. Where's that going down at?
Rigby, Idaho.
Final- final race of the season.
Final race of the season. Bring your cars up, you can show off what cars look like before they get in the arena.
Oh. [laughs] Does it have to be shiny paint or can it just be rusted?
It can be rusted.
[laughs]
I- I don't know if you know this, these aren't brand new cars going in there. [laughs]
[laughs]
[laughs] No doubt, no doubt. Hey, so yesterday you guys were talking about jobs, high paying jobs that suck. Uh, I was an industrial painter up in North Dakota. We were up there for about four years off and on. And I'll tell you what-
All right, well, thank you
[laughs] Oh, good for you
... North Dakota sucks, dude. They say that there's- there's a beautiful girl behind every tree and you can watch your dog run away for two weeks straight. I mean, it is the flattest, coldest... We went up there one year in the middle of February and it was 70 below. I- I'm like, "I'm not going out there. You can fire me if you want. Send me home, I'm done."
I don't know how you paint in 70 below weather.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like it would work very good.
No, it's a liquid.
No. I mean, uh, my- my boss says, "Oh, I found this paint that goes down to 20 below." And I'm like, "Oh, I thought you were my friend. Thanks, bro."
[laughs]
That sucked. But, hey, Sergeant Crane, so I like to use my turn signals just as a common courtesy, not everybody likes to do it. But, uh, my question is, how far before the intersection do you have to turn on your signal? And if you're doing 35 as opposed to 55, I'm sure there's a distance there that you want to turn your signal on before you reach the intersection.
Reasonable. Is that what the code says? It does. It has a distance, but a lot of times the intersection, uh, won't allow for the distance because it's a short span between where you come in and go. Yeah. But any time you're moving over, you're gonna signal, you know, let's say you're... The left bay opens, signal to turn into the left bay. The whole time you're in the left bay, it should be on. Same thing when you're going to the right turn lane, is, uh, if it's got a lane designated for right turn lane, you're gonna turn your signal on to get into that lane. And then once you're in it, maintain it. And- and so, if you're following those common sense guidelines, you're gonna be just fine. It's gonna be awful hard to get a citation for failure to signal if you're at least giving it a good team effort.
Right, right. So there is a... It's a citable offense?
Yeah, yep. Failure to use your signal light. Yep.
Right, right.
And most of the time we see that written when there's been a crash involved and somebody's made that lane change without using it.
Right, right. No doubt. No doubt.
All right. Good question, Carl.
Sweet.
Yeah, right on. All right, well, you guys have a good weekend. We'll- we'll see you up in Rigby.
Yeah, yeah, come say hi.
All right. Heck yeah.
Good to hear from you, Carl.
All right.
Peace.
You guys have a good one, man. We'll see you.
Should we do a live genius of the day?
Um, a live genius of the day? What, do we got Burt on?
No, um...
[laughs]
Kelsey emailed- texted me saying that she got an email from Burt's team. They screwed up, they thought it was Pacific time.
Oh, okay, so-
So they would've jumped on at 9:15.
Okay, well, then we'll... Just out of courtesy to you, Peaches, we'll cut the show at like-
We don't have to
... 9:13.
We'll see. We'll see if he even joins right now for the next couple minutes.
That's a good point. [laughs]
What if he just randomly comes in here? Because I do have the Zoom open.
All right.
And we can have this entire big buildup just for that little interview.
All right.
Wait, did he just join?
I don't know, but somebody's calling.
Nope, just for some reason this tab popped open.
All right.
Peaches reminds me of the guy that's about to go out on his first prom in high school. [laughs]
[laughs] Are you nervous?
Oh, does my hair look good? [laughs] Oh, oh.
[laughs]
I brushed my teeth. Oh, oh.
[laughs]
All right, we got a caller on- on the air here. I can't eat dinner because I won't be able to give him a kiss goodnight. [laughs]
[laughs]
Where's my gum, mom?
[laughs]
Where's my breath mints?
[laughs]
Hey, you got your breath mints, right? Oh, of course. Because I don't want you offending him. [laughs]
[laughs] Caller, what's up? Who's this?
Dusty.
Dusty, what's your question for the program?
So how you guys are talking about blinker, can you get a ticket or pulled over for over-blinking?
Leaving your blinker on too long. [laughs] You see those old people sometimes?
Oh, man, I tell you what, I've used it for an excuse to stop somebody, right? Late at night and you're thinking, "Okay, possible DUI," and they go by like five right turns with their signal on.
Mm-hmm.
And I'll stop them for that. [laughs]
[laughs] I didn't notice.
I've never cited anybody for over-blinking but... [laughs]
[laughs]
I have cited them for having low blinker fluid, but other than that...
My dad's buddy went to a stop light, turned his blinker on and, uh, turned, and then they pulled him over for over-blinking. And then sadly, he got a DUI.
[laughs] Yeah, there you go. I just told you that's what I would stop for. [laughs]
Yep.
Seems to work. [laughs]
[laughs]
Well, Dusty, we appreciate you calling in, man, and I hope you have a great weekend.
You too.
Right on. Peace.
I was waiting for that dad joke. Isn't over-blinking just closing your eyes?
[laughs]
Done there.
Well, I think the blinker fluid might've gone over a number of people's heads.
Oh, that's true. That's true.
[laughs]
Yes, you can answer that call.
He's already on. He's already on.
Oh, okay. Hi, caller, you're live on the show. Who's this?
Steve.
Steve, what you got for Traffic School powered by The Advocates?
Hey, I'm wondering how legal it is to pull out of a business or gas station or something into the turn lane.
Okay.
Into the middle turn lane? The left-hand turn lane in the middle?
Yes.
Okay. So first of all, let's talk about this. Any alley,
um, park, parking lot, convenience store, you're supposed to stop before proceeding onto the roadway even though it's d- doesn't have marked signs everywhere. That is the code. And the left-hand designated lane in the middle is not a travel lane. So, we've talked about this a lot. It- you can't get out there and use it as a travel lane, but there are times that if you don't go out there and stage, you're gonna be there forever and hold up traffic. So, use great caution when you do that. And, uh, but in reality, it's supposed to be one movement from the parking lot, across all three lanes into your travel lane.
Okay.
Yeah, thankfully you guys give some leeway on that-
Yeah
... or no one would ever leave this building. [laughs]
When it becomes a problem is when they jump in it and they start doing 35 miles an hour down the left turn lane-
Yeah
... to try to get in. That's the problem.
Good question, man.
Be cautious.
[laughs]
Thanks, buddy. Have a good weekend.
All right, thanks. Yep, see you.
See you.
[laughs]
All right.
I was about to play the crickets sound there.
[laughs] All right, uh-
Welcome to Tra-
Oh!
Hung up?
Shame!
On a phone.
All right, let's go to the, uh, online questions. Amber wanted to know, "If you're driving on a road going 45 and there's a bike lane and shoulder on the side, and someone is on your butt, can you pull into the shoulder to make a turn so you don't get rear-ended? Or are you supposed to stay in the lane, slow down and turn?"
Uh, if there's nobody in that lane that's traveling the same direction you are, and they're that hard on you, uh, common sense would say, hey, pull over. Just make sure there's nobody in that bike lane or coming up in the bike lane, and then make your signal, make your right-hand turn.
All right, there we go. Okay. We got this caller on, Peaches?
Yeah, I'm just texting Kelsey back again.
All right.
That's a lot of work for him.
I know. We're keeping him busy today.
His anticipation of this first date is just killing me.
[laughs]
He's, like, sweating. You're gonna have to go freshen up.
[laughs] It's 'cause of this light.
Yeah.
[laughs]
He's been cooking-
Having this light blared on you for the past hour ... I don't know how artists do it.
It's the ... So you can practice for live streaming, Peaches, 'cause you gotta have that light in your face for hours.
I can practice for the next stage announcement.
There you go. Yeah.
So, so as you know, we were somewhere early spring, and it was massive lights, just cooking you.
Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's pretty brutal. Uh, K Bear, you're live on Traffic School powered by The Advocates. Who's this?
Vince.
Vince, what's up?
So, random question, 'cause I just got off the highway. Um, if you see someone on the corner, or like on the shoulder of the road with their hazards on, is it illegal to not get over? Because I've been seeing a lot of people not get over for this semi that was pulled over on the shoulder.
Our- our move over law does not include motor assist or broke-down vehicles. Unfortunately, that's what's dangerous, right? You get a flat tire on the travel side, it is dangerous to change it. The move over law only requires you to do that for emergency vehicles. And in that, is tow, like, tow trucks. So, no, but common courtesy and common sense would tell you that if you have the opportunity, move over. And if you don't, just slow down, give them some room and some space.
All righty. Well, I appreciate it. That's good knowledge to know.
All right, have a good day.
Right on, man. Good question. Have a great weekend.
You too. Bye-bye.
See you. You know, we could do something funny here, Peaches. If Bert actually does pop on, he'd be like, "Sorry, dude, you know, we've had ... It's been crazy up in here while I was waiting for you," and have him arrest me.
[laughs]
Right now
Wouldn't be the first time.
We can just- we'll get away from the mics, and I'll be arguing, and, "I didn't do that!" And then, you know ...
You wouldn't believe it, our morning show host was just caught with a rifle he illegally bought from Walmart.
[laughs]
Oh, wait, here we go. Wait, there's somebody who just joined.
Okay. All right. How, uh, what, what's your schedule?
That's, uh, uh-
Eh, eh, eh.
I'm heading out to the gun range, so as soon as you guys get this, uh, interview going, I'm out of here.
Okay. Well, yeah, you can drag me out too.
[laughs]
And then I'll let Peaches do his thing, 'cause I am not prepped.
[laughs]
Somebody joined and they're not saying anything, so ...
They're not saying anything. Do you have the, uh, the pot turned up-
Mm-hmm
... and, uh-
They're muted
... live?
They're muted, so ... [laughs]
Oh, they're muted. Okay, so they're probably prepping.
Yeah.
Might be his, uh, his rep that's gonna jump on with you and be like, "All right, I've got Bert here." [mimics announcement] You know, you know those guys.
Right.
Then they, uh, make him live.
Sure.
So.
Yeah.
All right. Well, you just, uh, let me know when he pops on. We'll do, uh, another online question real quick here. Let's see. [laughs] Does listening to the new Godbone single make you an aggressive driver, Lieute- Lieutenant Crane?
[laughs] Makes you wanna bang your head out the window.
That's right. [laughs]
I saw it featured Nick from Graveway, so yeah, definitely. It's gonna be a heavy- heavy one, for sure.
Yes, it's r- it's really good. Nicely done to the, or by the guys in Godbone. Good job. Um, let's see. What is required to make a vehicle legal to drive on the road, like a ATV or a motorcycle?
Oh. So that's a good question. The window's gotta be co- or the wheels gotta be covered just like, um, a vehicle. But you gotta have a license plate.... turn signals, brake light, and a headlight, and a horn.
All right. There you go, William, I hope you're tuned in and listenin'. I think this guy asked this same question last week. [laughs] "What's gonna be done about these people running red lights all the time?"
[laughs]
It must be a persistent problem. [laughs]
[laughs]
A- apparently, he says, "It's an everyday occurrence." So-
I, I offered him a patrol car and a set of keys.
You did, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, go to, uh, isp.gov?
Yeah.
Or-
Idaho State Police, uh... idahostatepolice.gov, yeah.
And, uh, apply today.
We're hiring. We are hiring right now.
Yeah, we were talking about high paying jobs that suck. [laughs]
Yeah. [laughs] Yesterday.
We were, yeah.
As one caller mentioned earlier.
We talked about the, uh, underwater welder.
Mm-hmm.
That position would suck.
Yeah. I mean, uh, props to you guys for keeping us safe doing what you do. I couldn't do it, just like-
Ugh
... chuckin' bales a hay.
[laughs]
There's just some jobs I'm not cut out for.
Oh, geez. Yeah. [laughs]
[laughs]
Manual labor.
All right. Uh, Leroy wants to know, "Do utility trailers require lights if you can clearly see the taillights on the vehicle pulling it?"
In Idaho, yes, and then, uh, especially at night.
And you have to license 'em too.
Yeah.
Bunch of bullcrap.
Yeah, they just want our money! [laughs]
Always taking our money, the government.
[laughs]
All right, let's see here. [smacks lips] Uh, we might've gone through all of these online questions. Shawn wanted to know if he pays $20, can he get some plates ran for the driver's contact information?
[laughs]
About the little blonde? [laughs]
That's right. [laughs] Yeah, I, I would imagine you probably can't just, uh, get people's information.
Ooh, no, we have, we have some strict rules and guidelines on, on that. And, and not only that, but when we even have people in the back of the car and we're running stuff, the computer's gotta be turned so they can't even see it.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wow. Yeah, it's a good thing that, uh, we're living in the modern age where we don't have phone books. You remember that?
Yeah, oh, yeah. [laughs]
Back in the day, they just look up your name, and there's your number and your address.
[laughs]
Like, that's kinda wild. [laughs]
Now they just gotta go to the internet. It's a lot faster.
Yeah, I guess so. That's why it's good to have a very generic real name.
[laughs]
You know? There's a lot of you out there. Good luck figuring out which one's me.
And that you're the only th- that's the only thing generic about you.
Oh, absolutely.
So I think Burt just joined.
Oh, boy.
There he is.
Okay, I, I didn't do it, all right? I didn't mean to.
[laughs]
It's completely unnecessary.
This is, this is gonna- [laughs]
To be doing this, but here-
We got the warrant, and you're going down.
No, dude.
Yep.
Peaches, you're gonna have to-
L- L- Burt is right there, and we-
You're gonna cover the rest? [laughs]
[laughs]
Yeah, you're gonna have to shut off his, shut off...
What happened?
All right.
The Morning Show host is-
Uh, hi, Burt, nice to meet you, dude. Uh, I hope to make it to your show, but...
[laughs]
Um, yeah. Uh-
Is that ice?
I need some help bonding you out.
Is, is that ice? No, he just asked, "Is that ice?" [laughs]
[laughs]
No, that's, uh, Lieutenant-
Ice is cleaning up Idaho. [laughs]
[laughs] That's Lieutenant Crane of the-
He doesn't even look ethnic, he's just got dark hair.
[laughs]
[laughs] Are you just doing it live on the show?
O- uh, we might as well. I mean, you're on the v- w- the, uh, we're on the, uh, Morning Show here, Burt. We're live on the air. This is Victor Wilt, uh, he's The Morning Show host. He was just pretending to get arrested by Lieutenant Crane of the Idaho State Police. We do this segment called Traffic School, powered by The Advocates, where people call in live and ask any Idaho law related question that they might have. So, we were j- in the middle of that segment, and we're waiting for you, and we had the Zoom call open the entire time. I'm just sitting here watching the Zoom call like a hawk.
[laughs]
That was a great low-key distraction in the back, just him getting walked out in handcuffs. [laughs]
[laughs]
We, we, we kinda wanted to do, uh, like an Eric Andre type, uh, performance here. You know, just have someone like shooting up meth in the back or something like that, you know?
Yeah. [laughs]
Just really throw you off.
[laughs]
I appreciate it. I, those Eric Andre interviews give me so much anxiety.
[laughs]
Well, nice to meet you, Burt. I'll let you do your thing, Peaches.
Are you sure?
And just go ahead and do it live on my show, and just let me know when you're done with it.
Okay.
But yeah, Burt, uh, excited to see your show, man. And, uh, you know...
Thank you.
Yep.
Are you coming out?
Uh, hopefully so, man, as long as the cops don't, uh, actually end up arresting me prior.
Do you got any bond money to help him?
Of course I do.
[laughs]
Of course I do.
Sweet.
Listen, my favorite thing in the world will be bonding someone out and seeing them walk down those stairs like, uh, like the guy from Usual Suspects.
[laughs]
Like, "I don't know why they brought me in, Edie, I'm trying to get out." [laughs]
[laughs] All right, well, yeah, you just grab me when you're done, Peaches.
Okay.
You're gonna add to my show, and I'll go work on my scripts for The Advocates.
For sure.
All right.
All right. [laughs]
It's 9:19, should we just...
Just you do what you wanna do. Um, do, do... And let, well, I guess...
We could, we could go to break and I can talk to him off the air.
Yeah.
Okay.
There we go.
Okay, sounds good.
[laughs]
All right. [laughs] That was, that was... We're gonna, we'll go to break right now.
All righty, Burt, sorry about that. [laughs]
That's okay. Hey, guys, want my phone? 'Cause I'm getting emails on it.
My wife found a Hinge app.
Oh. [laughs]
N- uh, no, here. I guess we have an old email address.
Uh-huh.
By the way, y- feel free to use this in the interview. We have an old interview address, uh, in, e- email address, and, uh, someone signed up for a 30 do- $30 a month Hinge app on my thing.
Oh, no. [laughs]
And, and it's clearly not me, I don't even have free time. I don't have enough free time to cheat.
Right.
I don't... If you are cheating, you have more than enough free time in life.
[laughs]
This, I do not have f- I do not have a moment when I'm alone.
I can only imagine dealing with one woman, not two of them, you know? [laughs]
Yeah. No interest in another woman in my life.
So how's everything going for you?
Everything's amazing.
Good.
I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life.
Oh, that's fantastic. Great to hear, man. 'Cause I mean, so we're all excited. I mean, we just had Tom in the area a couple months ago, um, at the same venue you're gonna be at, the Mountain America Center. You're gonna be here Friday, October 3rd. And, uh, I w- I tried getting him onto the show, um, just to show him that, like, "You know, m- not all radio absolutely sucks." 'Cause there's a lot of dudes out there that put on the fake voice and it's, it's horrible. It's, it's-
Yeah.
And there's a wh- Like, we have the sound, the sound bar here, but we just kinda do it to antagonize the listeners. I- on like a ironically type of thing.
Yeah.
Um, but there are people here in the area that put on the fake Southern accent, and it's, it's really like, "What are you doing?" Like, if you don't, if you're not gonna put that voice on in the drive through, why are you [laughs] doing that here? You know?
Well, the thing is, and I think Tom's beginning to realize this as we, as we both have... You know, he has three podcasts, I have three podcasts, is, to be a broadcaster is really difficult. And so, you know, I, I've, I've gotten to the place where I, I've never had a problem with, you know, w- what you'd call bad morning radio. I've never had a problem with it, 'cause I was like, "Dude, the job is tough." And to be able to do it the way you do it, where it's authentic and it's your personality and you're honest and you, and you have fun every day, it's, that is a real legit job that not everyone can do.
Right.
And, uh... But I think, you know, Tom and I are from that old generation. You know, for lack of better words, the Bob and Tom generation, where they'd be like, "Can you write out your setups and then we'll go to you?" And, and by the way, by the way, I've had podc- I've done podcasts with comedians. I wish I could do that. I wish I could be like-
[laughs]
... "Just tell me your bits."
[laughs]
"Give me a lead into your bit. Your mom has AIDS? All right, let's go."
[laughs] Right. Oh yeah. No, we, a- around here on K-BEAR at least, we kind of go off the rails. Um, we're a rock station, so we'll play, like, the craziest bands sometimes. We'll play Knocked Loose, we'll play all the death core bands, and we really just amp things up, all hours of the day, just s- We have this thing called the Metal Morning Wake Up Call, where at 6:00 AM we play something that's, like, extremely hardcore. So, and, uh-
That's awesome.
Yeah. [laughs]
I, I kinda dig... I could be, like, an old school DJ that played music-
Uh-huh
... but I'd never be in one genre. Like, I'd be all over the map. Like, there's a band that I've never listened to once, but I love their name. Uh, Bring Me The Horizon.
Oh, they're awesome. Th- they're-
I've never listened to them once, but I love that name.
I think they're gonna be in Salt Lake City the same time that you are gonna be in Salt Lake City. Oh, you're October 2nd. Okay, they're gonna be there Octo- uh, September 30th, but yeah, they put on one amazing live show. Like, they're, they're-
Who's-
... they're awesome.
Who's the one my daughter's obsessed with? Uh, it's the... They open for Blink 182.
Alkaline Trio?
No.
Um-
I wanna say it's something Vampires, or something.
Oh, Hollywood Vampires or Vampire Weekend? One of those?
Nah, I don't know. Vampire Weekend's pretty awesome too.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think which one you're talking about.
No, I forget who she's obsessed with, but, uh, yeah, my daughter's really into hardcore music, really into rock, punk. Uh, just anything f- anything heavy.
Oh, good. All right.
Yeah.
That's awesome. I was about to ask if you-
She's dressed all in black, high, like, uh, like, combat boots. All in black. Black eyeliner.
[laughs]
She is in there, in the mosh pit.
Huh. That'd be, that's funny. Have you heard of, uh, Sleep Token by any chance?
No.
The-
I'm writing it down.
Yeah, those guys, uh, they're k- they're blowing up. Uh, nobody knows who exactly they are behind the masks. They never do interviews, anything of that sort. They announced a North American tour months ago, and it sold out within a minute because for some reason, the TikTok crowd really likes them. They have, like, these, like, sexy metal songs, and, uh, they, uh, the, the BookTok crowd really, really goes crazy for them. So at their concerts, there's a mixture of those people mixed with the actual metal heads. And there's, like, a, a half mix of like, "Okay, let's mosh," to like, "Okay, don't touch me. I'm gonna sit here in the pit with my shoulders together and-"
Yeah.
"... just try to watch the show." But the, it, it, it's, uh, they're gonna be in Salt Lake October th- October 5th at the, uh, Maverick Center, and it's, I- it sold out within seconds. We have one listener, we had one listener who paid like $4,000 for two tickets to go see [laughs] those guys.
Whoa.
Yeah. [laughs]
That's crazy. That's wild. Yeah, my, m- I'm, my daughter wanted to see... Who did I fly her? I flew her and her friend up, back out to LA to see My Chemical Romance.
Oh, yeah.
And, and, uh, and the tickets were crazy and I was like, "Yo, you're gonna sit in the nosebleeds."
[laughs]
I was like-
It-
... the concert's a concert. Uh, you're never gonna, you're never gonna enjoy music if you automatically gotta sit in great seats. You gotta earn your way to the great seats. You gotta get, be older. We saw Metallica in, at SoFi.
Mm-hmm.
Man, what did they do, like three nights? Every night was a different set.
Right.
My daughter Ilah got tickets for every single night and brought new people every single night, and I only went once.
[laughs] Yeah, yeah. The, uh, AC/DC, I just saw them at the Rose Bowl. I'm originally from Southern California, so I fly back home every so often, but my dad was able to get tickets. It was AC/DC with The Pretty Reckless, and apparently right by our section was Axl Rose and Slash just standing there, and they're, they're acting like they're fans too, and they're watching [laughs] those guys live. It really does suck watching those legends get old, by the way, 'cause y- you see them get a little slower.
You're telling me.
Like, the Thunder- like when they played Thunderstruck, it was extremely slow. And same with Highway to Hell.
Yeah, but they, instead, they were like, "Thunderstorm."
Yeah, right. [laughs]
"Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. Thunderclouds."
Right. Well, Brian Johnson's 80 years old, so I can only imagine trying to do what, what they're doing at 80. Uh, I would just be bitter the whole time.
I can't, you know, what, what occupation are you allowed to age gracefully in? 'Cause even actors. You look at actors sometimes. Like, I saw Sharon Stone. Now, I shouldn't trash her, but like I saw Sharon Stone talking about something on, on Instagram the other day and I couldn't, I couldn't find her. You know? Like, I couldn't s- I g- I was like, "Wait, Sharon Stone."... like that, where is she in there? Like you can't, like that, it sucks to age and I'm going through it, but I'm at the very beginning. Like I'm 52 and I can hear my voice getting deeper, I can feel like thank God I still work out, but like my skin's getting worse. I can see it happening.
[laughs] I'm just, uh, thinking like with f- uh, because my, I have this uncle, Uncle Sonny. He's 72 and he grew up in, of course, with the '60s and '70s music, and he was like, "Oh, Brendan, we're gonna go see, uh, Frankie Valli." And so I look up Frankie Valli, and this guy is like a walking corpse now. [laughs] Like it's bad. [laughs]
I think there's that video of him getting lost on stage. [laughing]
Yeah. [laughing] I g- I'm, I should not make fun of it 'cause it's gonna happen to all of us.
Right.
Like realize it's okay if you make fun of it knowing it's happening to you one day, it's okay. But if you think you're gonna stay young forever, you're out of your fricking mind.
I- I- I don't wanna be... I- I feel like once I reach that age, I'm just gonna be the most bitter old man and-
Okay, here's the real question. You ready?
Uh-huh.
When do you, when do you change your clothing? Like when do you switch out, like you're like, "Okay, I can't put... I'm- I'm done wearing band shirts." Like when does that happen?
I mean, is it f- I was about to say 40. You're 40 or 45 to when you're kinda like, "Okay, let's start to dwindle them down a little bit." Then once you reach 50 that's when you're like, "Okay," all of a sudden you magically switch to like golf polos, I think.
Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I- I tell you what. I switched at- at 40, at 47 I stopped wearing shirts with- with writing on them.
[laughs]
I sto- I was like, I was like, "You know man? It- I don't think Pearl Jam wants me wearing their shirt."
Yeah.
I don't think I'm the branding they're looking for. They want something younger. Like I don't think Red Hot Chili T- Peppers is like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, middle-aged. Put it on." And then anything too cool, people are like, "Wait, where have you heard of them?" So I- I kinda stopped... It was, it was around the same times I stopped wearing basketball jerseys 'cause I was like, "Yo, I shouldn't be wearing a 20-year-old's jersey." Like I'm a grown man and I don't think they get ice cream on their jersey.
[laughs] Yeah, no kidding. No kid- [laughs]
Yeah. I was trying to think of, uh, like the- the radio DJs who are in the top 40 world and they're like pushing 65, and they're like look at this hot new act, Olivia Rodrigo. And it's like that's somebody's grandpa talking about a young teenager. [Laughs] Like what's going on here?
It's- it's ageism. We're talking about a- honestly, we're talking about ageism and the truth is it is like- like, uh, like I- I- we- Tom and I went to a strip club. I shouldn't talk about this but I will.
[laughs] That's okay. [laughs]
And both of us were like, "Yo, we need- we need an- an age limit at our strip club. They need to be at least over 30." Like we don't wanna talk to anything in their 20s.
No.
Like we- like there was one girl that sat in between us and both Tom and I are like, "So what do you wanna do when you grow up?" Like who- [laughs]
[laughs]
It was like... [laughs]
[laughs] Me- me and my, uh, girlfriend are going to Hollywood Undead this weekend, and, uh, we're bringing a coworker of mine who e- she likes to... She's- she's born in 2006 and I feel like we're bringing like our daughter to- to- [laughs]
That's right. I know she's 19 years old. That's my daughter Aila's age.
Right, yeah. Isn't that weird? 19 in 2006. It's a- insane. It misses-
But I don't feel old. I feel young. Like I feel... I- I not- I wouldn't say young. I feel... I'm not, I don't feel 30 'cause I have confidence. I don't feel 35 'cause I own a house. I feel like f- I feel like 39. I feel 40, I feel 40 years old.
Yeah. I mean, and 4- 40 is, is that a good age? 'Cause I- I'll be 30 next year and I'm already kinda dreading it. You know, I'm kinda like, "Ugh, thir-"
Oh, 30's- 30's awesome.
Is it?
30's awesome.
Okay.
30's great. You read The Great Gatsby the day you turn 30.
Okay. All right.
Read The Great Gatsby. It's a- 'cause that's- that's his birthday, Nick Carraway's birthday was o- it's his 30th birthday. "I turned 30 this year. It's time to stop lying to myself." And then he experiences all the lies that our society, which is Great Gatsby and East Egg or West Egg.
Yeah.
And then, uh, and but his- i- it's his cum- it's his coming of age story and he's at 30. So I thought that was kind of a cool book to read then. 40 is out of this world. 40 is like probably my favorite birthday 'cause you feel like a grownup but you're not. You're still very young still. 50 was cool but at 50 you're like, "I'm- I know I'm over halfway there." 60's gonna suck. I need Rogan to turn 60 first.
Uh he's- he's slightly older, isn't he?
He's like S- 57, I think.
Okay. Yeah, we have this, uh, this joke rule kind of where if you're in the broadcast media world and you're like, you hit the age of 60, you kinda have to like, you know, either retire or... You know, 'cause wh- I- I'm looking at Howard Stern now at 72, we're just like, "This guy." He- he's- he turned into Don Imus, 100%. It's- it's real sad to see 'cause I- I didn't-
But he's still a legend. If- if- if he- if he-
He is.
I mean, I like, I- I don't listen to him only 'cause I don't have SiriusXM anymore and, uh, they used to if you did SiriusXM enough they would give you a subscription. And I had a buddy that worked there that would hook me up with a subscription but I don't- I don't ever do it. I don't listen to it so I don't ever hear him. But if he asked me to fly out to New York to be interviewed, I'd get on a plane this afternoon.
You would have to 'cause it's like it's the name now. It's he's been doing it for so long.
Yeah.
And I'm a... My dad introduced me to him and I've been listening to a lot of his old bits and so it's just... It's me catching up, trying to figure out what like what radio back in the day with Opie and Anthony and Howard Stern and all the names. And, uh, unfortunately, it does like do a bad influence on me because sometimes I think I'll get away with what they said on the air here, and as soon as I say something remotely bad, it's just like, "Okay, Pete, just sit down. What do you- what do- what do you- what are you doing on the air here?" Like what- what is-
What do we- what do we... Th- the rules back then were... I don't even know if there were. There- the rules were break the rules to see how much press you can get. And I- I- uh, I think oddly enough that's what's happening in comedy now is say the most egregious thing, get the press, and then do the tour. And you know-... and Tom ... By the way, Tom was doing it way before that was the marketing plan. I've never really done it, 'cause I've alwa- I don't like controversy and I don't like negative stuff, and I'm, uh ... So, I always just kinda stay in my lane, or I try to.
Mm-hmm.
But like, that seems to be the, the motto now. Tony Hinchcliffe went up at the Na- Republican National Convention, said what he said, and he's selling Madison Square Gardens four times.
[laughing] Yeah. Kill Tony's fantastic, it's a great show. It's just a funny thing.
Tony Hinchcliffe is a fantastic comedian.
Yeah.
That's number one.
Right.
Number two, he ... Kill Tony is out of this world amazing. And number three, he's the sweetest guy in the world.
He seems like it, too. Like, e- e- it feels like everybody in that whole little realm there, Adam Ray as well, and I just watched the, uh, Something Burning episode with him and Rob Lowe. I thought it was fantastic, and yeah, I personally have been a fan of yours for years, so when they said I could interview you here today, I'm like, I gotta, I, I gotta immediately jump on that. 'Cause I- I- I even just ... It's so funny, last night, um, I, uh ... Well, overall, we decided to decorate one of my walls with a whole bunch of posters. And I don't know if I bought it on Etsy or whatever, but instead of The Warriors, it's called The Mommies. And it has Tom in the front with Christina, and then it has you on the right-hand side. Your hat says, "Burnt." [laughs]
[laughs]
I h- I have that poster in my room, and sh- that, that fell off the wall last night, so I had to re-hang it up. And it was just in time for this interview. But, uh, I was gonna bring it in-
Oh
... and show. Be like, "Yeah, this is cool." But I don't need that radio DJ. It's like, "Here, I got ... This is how I am a fan of yours."
[laughs]
"Here's something I can show you." [laughs] Well, awesome, Bert. Well, thank you so much. I don't wanna take too much of your time up here today.
Oh.
Appreciate you hanging out.
Peaches, thank you so much, brother. I appreciate it. Hopefully I'll see you at the show.
Yeah, definitely. I'm a, I'm a six-foot-nine dude, so you'll, you'll see me like, way [laughs] above everybody else. [laughs]
I'll be looking for you.
[laughs]
I'll be looking for you. D- I'll be looking for you, I promise.
[laughs] Could you do one more thing for me before you go here?
Of course.
Um, could you just say, um, "Hey, you're Bert Kreu- or I'm Bert Kreischer, you're listening to Pete's Pit Party"? That's the name of my radio show [laughing], so ...
Yeah.
Hey, this is Bert ... Hey, this is Bert Kreischer and you're listening to Pete's Pit Party. Hey, this is Bert Kreischer and you're listening to Pete's Pit Party.
Could you say, "On KBAR 101"?
Hey, this is Bert Kreischer and you're list- ... Hey, this is Bert Kreischer and you're list- ... Motherfucker. [clears throat] Hey, this is Bert Kreischer and you're listening to Pete's Pit Party on KBAR 101.
Perfect. That's awesome, Bert. Thank you so very much, I appreciate that.
Thank you, brother.
You have a good one. [laughs]
Awesome, man.