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In this week's episode, Matt and Braden chat with Dr. Kelli Palfy, who is a trauma and sexual abuse therapist. She breaks down her new book "Men Too, Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse," and talks about how men can heal from sexual abuse that they've experienced.
Show Notes
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Welcome to episode #20! In this week's episode, Matt and Braden talk with trauma and sexual abuse therapist, Dr. Kelli Palfy. You can order her book, Men Too: Unspoken Truths about Male Sexual Abuse, here.
What is Sexual Abuse?
Not everyone is 100% sure of what sexual abuse is. Being old enough to consent is a key factor in determining what qualifies as abuse. Legally in Canada a child under the age of 16 cannot give consent as they are not deemed mentally mature enough to provide consent from a legal standpoint. Sexual abuse can be any kind of exposure, suggestion, touching, or sexual activity where there is no consent given. Because children are vulnerable, they often are the victims of sexual abuse and the memory of those events can become clouded with time. If you want to know more, here is an article from the government of Canada on sexual abuse.
What is Grooming?
Grooming is the process where the perpetrator will try to win the trust of their victim by gradually introducing elements of touch or exposure that leads to abuse. Often this takes time and people don't understand that they are being groomed to be abused.
Sexual Abuse and Addiction are Two "Ugly Cousins"
Addiction can often have a clear link to abuse as it is a form of coping when trying to deal with the pain. The abused often experiences intense confusion and shame and the addiction creates a numbing effect.
Educate Yourself and Get Professional Help
If you have been a victim of abuse, educate yourself and get help! This requires the help of a professional therapist who is trained in trauma therapy and sexual abuse recovery. Often people try to cope with their pain and trauma, but never deal with it in a healthy way. Over time they shut down or re-invent their past convincing themselves that they must have enjoyed the abuse or somehow provided consent. This leads to a greater degree of confusion and shame, making them want to keep the secret even more. There is healing and hope! Jesus wants to touch the pain and bring healing, but it takes getting help and sharing what happened.
Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden break down another great topic TBD
Resources
Purchase Kelli's book: Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse
Dr.Kelli Palfy's Website
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Grooming is the process where the perpetrator will try to win the trust of their victim by gradually introducing elements of touch or exposure that leads to abuse. Often this takes time and people don't understand that they are being groomed to be abused.
Sexual Abuse and Addiction are Two "Ugly Cousins"
Addiction can often have a clear link to abuse as it is a form of coping when trying to deal with the pain. The abused often experiences intense confusion and shame and the addiction creates a numbing effect.
Educate Yourself and Get Professional Help
If you have been a victim of abuse, educate yourself and get help! This requires the help of a professional therapist who is trained in trauma therapy and sexual abuse recovery. Often people try to cope with their pain and trauma, but never deal with it in a healthy way. Over time they shut down or re-invent their past convincing themselves that they must have enjoyed the abuse or somehow provided consent. This leads to a greater degree of confusion and shame, making them want to keep the secret even more. There is healing and hope! Jesus wants to touch the pain and bring healing, but it takes getting help and sharing what happened.
Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden break down another great topic TBD
Resources
Purchase Kelli's book: Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse
Dr.Kelli Palfy's Website
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
Creators & Guests
Host
Host
Matt Cline
Matt Cline is the founder and director of Restored Ministries, focused on leading men and women out of sexual bondage and into a life of impact and freedom in Christ. He is a leading speaker and coach in Canada on the topic of sexual brokenness and has seen countless lives radically changed all around the world. You can learn more about Restored Ministries at www.restoredministries.ca.
What is Pure Victory Podcast?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.