WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:09.709 --> 00:00:13.129 Cailin: Welcome everyone to Faith and Purpose podcast. 00:00:13.890 --> 00:00:19.070 Each episode of this podcast contains the personal testimony of an ordinary person 00:00:19.089 --> 00:00:21.830 transformed by an extraordinary God. 00:00:22.500 --> 00:00:25.660 My name is Kaylin and I'm here to introduce this podcast 00:00:25.669 --> 00:00:27.200 for my friend Jesse Duke. 00:00:27.810 --> 00:00:33.279 Jesse is a husband, father, author, life recovery guide, lay counselor, 00:00:33.760 --> 00:00:37.840 and small group leader, but his most important role is disciple. 00:00:38.280 --> 00:00:39.730 As a disciple of Jesus. 00:00:40.210 --> 00:00:44.300 Jesse created this podcast to help other believers tell their faith stories. 00:00:44.850 --> 00:00:48.650 We'll be hearing the personal testimonies of all sorts of people 00:00:48.650 --> 00:00:52.580 who have one thing in common, Jesus has transformed their lives. 00:00:53.435 --> 00:00:58.085 as we listen to how God has worked in others lives, we find encouragement 00:00:58.095 --> 00:01:00.385 and inspiration for our own faith walk. 00:01:00.874 --> 00:01:05.245 Whether you are already a believer or just a curious seeker, we believe that 00:01:05.265 --> 00:01:09.554 as you listen to these stories, you will be encouraged on your own faith journey. 00:01:09.854 --> 00:01:14.264 We are sure that God can speak to you through one of these episodes and that you 00:01:14.264 --> 00:01:18.354 will see that our Heavenly Father truly works all things together for our good. 00:01:18.690 --> 00:01:20.600 When we simply love and trust him. 00:01:21.300 --> 00:01:24.670 If you are currently going through a trial, we believe that you will come 00:01:24.670 --> 00:01:29.460 to see that your troubles, heartbreaks, and failures are not gravestones, but 00:01:29.490 --> 00:01:32.060 stepping stones into new life in Christ. 00:01:32.490 --> 00:01:34.480 Here's Jesse with today's guest. 00:01:49.543 --> 00:01:52.663 Welcome everybody to faith and purpose podcast. 00:01:53.143 --> 00:01:56.773 I'm very excited today to have my long time friend and John Crow. 00:01:57.223 --> 00:01:59.863 To tell his story, I'm looking forward to it. 00:01:59.963 --> 00:02:01.133 And here he is. 00:02:01.373 --> 00:02:02.543 How are you doing today, John? 00:02:03.413 --> 00:02:04.103 I'm great. 00:02:04.133 --> 00:02:05.003 Thanks Jesse. 00:02:05.063 --> 00:02:06.173 Thank you for having me. 00:02:06.213 --> 00:02:11.013 So, I was born in Jackson, Mississippi, uh, moved to Jacksonville, 00:02:11.013 --> 00:02:13.143 Florida when I was six months old. 00:02:14.223 --> 00:02:16.023 Uh, so all I've ever known. 00:02:16.113 --> 00:02:18.693 Uh, is mostly Florida. 00:02:18.813 --> 00:02:21.843 I did leave for about 10 years, but we'll get to that later. 00:02:22.443 --> 00:02:26.163 So when I was born, my dad had a good job. 00:02:26.193 --> 00:02:28.083 He was an air traffic controller. 00:02:28.083 --> 00:02:30.033 We moved to Jacksonville. 00:02:30.063 --> 00:02:31.353 Things were good. 00:02:31.863 --> 00:02:34.383 I grew up in a family that. 00:02:34.646 --> 00:02:38.616 There wasn't a lot of, religion or the Bible. 00:02:39.250 --> 00:02:45.880 my grandmother was very devout, but as far as my core family, There just, wasn't 00:02:45.880 --> 00:02:48.070 a lot of religion, a lot of church. 00:02:48.640 --> 00:02:53.280 when I was about six years old, my dad went on strike. 00:02:53.820 --> 00:02:58.470 With the air traffic controllers, they ended up getting fired and we. 00:02:59.730 --> 00:03:03.990 Entered into a period of my family's life with a lot of uncertainty, 00:03:04.040 --> 00:03:07.040 a lot of financial instability. 00:03:07.730 --> 00:03:11.810 And that was just about the time I was aware of what was going on, 00:03:11.850 --> 00:03:14.940 Um, I have some memories before that, but. 00:03:15.600 --> 00:03:20.490 Most of my memories are from that time on. 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:25.260 And they're like I said, we just struggled financially and. 00:03:25.482 --> 00:03:26.592 There wasn't. 00:03:27.192 --> 00:03:29.922 The the Lord to fall back on. 00:03:30.282 --> 00:03:32.682 Or at least that wasn't modeled for me. 00:03:33.262 --> 00:03:40.672 so I grew up with a fear of financial insecurity and that shaped a lot of 00:03:40.672 --> 00:03:42.832 the way I live my life moving forward. 00:03:44.032 --> 00:03:44.662 I. 00:03:45.292 --> 00:03:51.602 Did a lot of running and a lot of, Just trying to live life the best. 00:03:51.632 --> 00:03:56.822 I knew how but that led to some really dark places. 00:03:56.922 --> 00:03:57.792 I saw it. 00:03:58.482 --> 00:03:59.562 Stability. 00:04:00.072 --> 00:04:01.782 I thought that would come from money. 00:04:02.302 --> 00:04:08.002 my life was really characterized by less of the eyes, less of 00:04:08.032 --> 00:04:09.742 the flesh and the pride of life. 00:04:10.612 --> 00:04:14.662 And so as I grew up, we, we got more stable. 00:04:14.692 --> 00:04:16.822 My parents worked, they were hardworking. 00:04:16.872 --> 00:04:17.802 they were loving. 00:04:19.012 --> 00:04:20.842 My parents loved me. 00:04:21.712 --> 00:04:23.362 But they didn't love each other. 00:04:23.362 --> 00:04:26.732 Well, there was a lot of instability. 00:04:26.762 --> 00:04:28.742 I have an older brother. 00:04:29.282 --> 00:04:30.452 Who was troubled. 00:04:30.452 --> 00:04:36.482 My dad was a Marine and he was a strong-willed child with authority issues. 00:04:37.172 --> 00:04:40.172 And so that did not go well. 00:04:40.262 --> 00:04:43.802 Um, my mom had had him before they got married. 00:04:44.552 --> 00:04:51.932 So growing up, it really felt a lot like it was me and my dad versus me and my mom, 00:04:52.052 --> 00:04:54.302 or at least that's how I perceived it. 00:04:54.962 --> 00:04:58.682 And, uh, so there was a lot of instability, a lot of fighting 00:04:58.682 --> 00:05:01.172 in the home, a lot of separation. 00:05:01.292 --> 00:05:05.402 Uh, when they would separate my mom and my brother would go somewhere 00:05:05.402 --> 00:05:07.712 and me and my dad would be somewhere. 00:05:08.562 --> 00:05:11.922 so I was always very, very close with my father. 00:05:12.132 --> 00:05:12.612 He. 00:05:13.332 --> 00:05:16.632 Been the strongest influence in my life. 00:05:16.752 --> 00:05:18.702 I would go to work with him. 00:05:18.942 --> 00:05:22.782 If I wasn't in school, I was wherever my dad was usually. 00:05:23.482 --> 00:05:28.182 so we moved to Amelia island, when I was in the third grade. 00:05:28.722 --> 00:05:34.152 He got a job at a condo complex on the south end of the island. 00:05:34.692 --> 00:05:36.852 He was the property manager. 00:05:36.902 --> 00:05:41.102 so we got a free condo or not free, but that was part of the pay package. 00:05:41.852 --> 00:05:45.782 So we lived in what looked like affluence. 00:05:45.832 --> 00:05:47.902 but I felt poor. 00:05:48.772 --> 00:05:50.212 And we. 00:05:51.832 --> 00:05:57.792 Did what we needed to do to, to live there, you know, cleaned up and fixed 00:05:57.792 --> 00:06:00.192 things and took care of the tennis courts. 00:06:00.272 --> 00:06:05.012 I used to get up at five o'clock in the morning and do the tennis court to my dad. 00:06:05.402 --> 00:06:09.242 And then he would take me to get something to eat on the way to school 00:06:09.272 --> 00:06:13.002 and, It really was an idyllic life. 00:06:13.032 --> 00:06:17.772 You know, we lived on the beach on a barrier island and Florida. 00:06:17.772 --> 00:06:18.942 It was beautiful. 00:06:19.712 --> 00:06:21.782 But I didn't feel like that. 00:06:22.452 --> 00:06:23.742 so much of my life. 00:06:23.742 --> 00:06:25.782 I was a very small child. 00:06:25.842 --> 00:06:29.682 I'm always the smallest in my class. 00:06:29.922 --> 00:06:33.552 I weighed 88 pounds when I got into high school, when I was a freshman in high 00:06:33.552 --> 00:06:42.182 school, which, Just lent itself to me, not feeling like I had what other people had, 00:06:42.182 --> 00:06:44.852 whether that was physically, financially. 00:06:45.282 --> 00:06:49.922 emotionally, I wouldn't have known it at the time, but spiritually. 00:06:50.532 --> 00:06:55.302 so I always operated from a sense of lack. 00:06:56.052 --> 00:06:57.342 I was a good student. 00:06:57.762 --> 00:06:59.802 I participated in sports. 00:06:59.802 --> 00:07:01.722 I was a decent athlete. 00:07:02.122 --> 00:07:08.032 but I always just kind of tried to blend in or keep the peace. 00:07:09.242 --> 00:07:10.142 As I grew up. 00:07:10.442 --> 00:07:15.482 You know, once I got into high school, my brother was gone from the house. 00:07:15.482 --> 00:07:17.792 My parents were pretty stable. 00:07:17.792 --> 00:07:20.302 They both had, decent jobs. 00:07:20.932 --> 00:07:23.182 And I did well in school. 00:07:23.182 --> 00:07:23.932 Worked. 00:07:24.082 --> 00:07:31.002 And got into wrestling, which was really good for my self-esteem and, physically, 00:07:31.002 --> 00:07:33.672 you know, I started working out and just. 00:07:34.332 --> 00:07:40.092 Feeling more, like a man quote, unquote, for lack of a better term. 00:07:40.752 --> 00:07:45.312 but still, just always that feeling in my heart that everybody else 00:07:45.312 --> 00:07:47.292 had something that I didn't have. 00:07:48.012 --> 00:07:52.602 so I tried to fill that, like I said, you know, less of the flesh, less of 00:07:52.602 --> 00:07:55.002 the eyes and the pride of life I wanted. 00:07:55.102 --> 00:07:59.922 I wanted things I wanted, to be respected by my peers. 00:08:00.372 --> 00:08:01.662 I wanted comfort. 00:08:01.722 --> 00:08:03.672 I wanted to feel good. 00:08:04.212 --> 00:08:10.662 so when I graduated high school, I graduated with honors. 00:08:10.662 --> 00:08:18.052 Got a, Scholastic scholarship to, Mississippi state university, had done 00:08:18.052 --> 00:08:20.392 well in wrestling, you know, just. 00:08:20.422 --> 00:08:22.882 It was kind of feeling like I was okay. 00:08:22.972 --> 00:08:23.422 And. 00:08:24.472 --> 00:08:26.182 Got to Mississippi state. 00:08:26.212 --> 00:08:29.782 And once again, I was a fish out of water. 00:08:29.842 --> 00:08:32.002 I wasn't like everybody else. 00:08:32.062 --> 00:08:35.872 And I really started drinking heavily. 00:08:35.972 --> 00:08:40.142 I had always dry and I don't ever remember a time in my life 00:08:40.172 --> 00:08:41.942 where drinking wasn't a part. 00:08:42.782 --> 00:08:48.992 Of the things that went on, my parents drank heavily, And so when 00:08:48.992 --> 00:08:51.362 I got to Mississippi state, I. 00:08:52.412 --> 00:08:54.542 Pretty much drank that year away. 00:08:54.612 --> 00:08:58.602 I got nine credits and one year they were less than impressed. 00:08:59.172 --> 00:09:00.552 As you can imagine. 00:09:01.032 --> 00:09:05.052 And, so when I came back, I was like, I'm not going back. 00:09:05.052 --> 00:09:06.612 I just, I don't fit in there. 00:09:06.612 --> 00:09:11.692 I don't want to be there, and the reality was I just had not taken advantage of an 00:09:11.692 --> 00:09:15.742 opportunity that had been given me, and I didn't want to face the consequences. 00:09:16.882 --> 00:09:20.672 So, I dropped out of school, stayed home. 00:09:20.722 --> 00:09:25.432 it's the first time I ever remember my father and I having what I would 00:09:25.432 --> 00:09:28.402 call a, a fight, you know, or. 00:09:28.822 --> 00:09:30.712 Uh, major disagreement. 00:09:31.282 --> 00:09:36.262 and he was just, he just said, look, you either go back or you're on your own. 00:09:36.292 --> 00:09:39.592 I'm not going to pay for school and you're not going to live here. 00:09:39.682 --> 00:09:39.802 You. 00:09:40.972 --> 00:09:42.892 And I said, okay, I'll do it my way. 00:09:42.892 --> 00:09:46.102 And that started a five-year. 00:09:46.202 --> 00:09:52.412 Journey of me just kind of moving around work and moving from place to place. 00:09:52.412 --> 00:09:55.112 I moved 13 times in five years. 00:09:55.562 --> 00:09:59.372 And several of those were cross-country moves. 00:09:59.962 --> 00:10:06.142 everywhere I went there, I was, and the next place was always going to be better. 00:10:06.172 --> 00:10:09.832 You know, it was always this job or this place or these 00:10:09.832 --> 00:10:12.232 people that were my problem. 00:10:12.982 --> 00:10:18.712 And so, like I said, I moved around a bunch and, landed in. 00:10:19.402 --> 00:10:24.712 Southern Alabama and a little town called Fairhope that I absolutely loved. 00:10:24.712 --> 00:10:30.832 And during that five years, my drinking and then other things took 00:10:30.832 --> 00:10:33.742 on greater and greater proportions. 00:10:33.772 --> 00:10:35.632 But when I got to Fairhope. 00:10:36.382 --> 00:10:38.992 I kind of settled down a little bit. 00:10:39.022 --> 00:10:41.122 My, I wasn't drinking as much. 00:10:41.122 --> 00:10:45.842 I wasn't, wrecking my life with other things as much. 00:10:45.872 --> 00:10:47.582 And I got back into school. 00:10:48.602 --> 00:10:54.002 Got through the first two years of my school there and had a job. 00:10:54.362 --> 00:10:55.682 I didn't have a car. 00:10:55.682 --> 00:10:57.062 I rode around on a bike. 00:10:57.062 --> 00:10:59.612 I lived, it was a lot like Fernandina. 00:11:00.242 --> 00:11:02.612 But I didn't know anybody and I just loved it. 00:11:03.412 --> 00:11:10.842 So when I got done there, I decided I was going to go on and finish my, college. 00:11:11.442 --> 00:11:12.282 Degree. 00:11:12.282 --> 00:11:16.932 And so I chose Auburn university because it was closer to home 00:11:16.962 --> 00:11:18.402 than the university of Alabama. 00:11:18.402 --> 00:11:21.192 And I was taken advantage of in state tuition. 00:11:22.162 --> 00:11:29.242 just before I went to Auburn, I came home for Christmas. 00:11:29.812 --> 00:11:35.422 And my brother was home and he was, I, Hey, you know, I'm down in 00:11:35.422 --> 00:11:40.522 Gainesville, we're doing some things might be a business opportunity that 00:11:40.522 --> 00:11:42.562 you could take advantage of an Auburn. 00:11:43.822 --> 00:11:45.022 And I did. 00:11:45.532 --> 00:11:46.642 it was not legal. 00:11:47.002 --> 00:11:50.692 but I, I would do anything for money. 00:11:51.232 --> 00:11:51.382 Yeah. 00:11:51.472 --> 00:11:54.122 I know that I've, kind of always been that way. 00:11:54.152 --> 00:11:55.232 I will. 00:11:55.712 --> 00:11:57.812 I'll do just about anything for money. 00:11:57.882 --> 00:12:00.342 I'll do anything for the feeling of stability. 00:12:01.242 --> 00:12:02.052 So. 00:12:02.832 --> 00:12:07.252 I went to Auburn, that business venture, kinda took off. 00:12:07.372 --> 00:12:09.202 It was going really well. 00:12:09.202 --> 00:12:10.672 I was in school at Auburn. 00:12:10.672 --> 00:12:13.372 I was there for five years. 00:12:14.002 --> 00:12:19.972 That business venture kind of morphed into some other business ventures. 00:12:20.512 --> 00:12:24.682 none of which were legal, but we're all very profitable. 00:12:26.412 --> 00:12:29.502 by this time I was a full blown drug addict. 00:12:30.606 --> 00:12:36.486 that had access to anything I needed because of the lifestyle I was living. 00:12:37.056 --> 00:12:42.906 but that, while it seemed really good at the time, it was extremely detrimental. 00:12:44.166 --> 00:12:51.096 after I graduated that summer, I got arrested walking into a, concert. 00:12:51.876 --> 00:12:52.746 With. 00:12:53.286 --> 00:12:56.856 What I considered to be just enough for the night. 00:12:57.396 --> 00:12:58.806 To get through the show. 00:12:59.206 --> 00:13:04.546 but the state of Alabama deemed enough that I might be a distributor. 00:13:05.806 --> 00:13:10.626 And so, the state of Alabama decided that I might be an alcoholic or 00:13:10.626 --> 00:13:12.666 an addict and that I needed help. 00:13:13.206 --> 00:13:17.986 And, their version of help was 10 years in jail. 00:13:19.546 --> 00:13:21.406 And so. 00:13:22.936 --> 00:13:26.626 That drug out over two years, I ended up moving back home. 00:13:26.626 --> 00:13:28.846 I was coaching the wrestling team. 00:13:29.146 --> 00:13:33.646 president of the optimist club volunteer and, you know, from the 00:13:33.646 --> 00:13:38.416 outside, looking in, it looked like I was living a responsible life. 00:13:39.629 --> 00:13:42.509 I was still a drug addict, but by this point I didn't have 00:13:42.509 --> 00:13:44.219 the means that I had before. 00:13:44.699 --> 00:13:47.389 So it was, not nearly as easy, but. 00:13:48.709 --> 00:13:53.299 By the end of this, dragging through the court system, I ended up going 00:13:53.329 --> 00:13:58.369 and just saying, Hey, you know, I know, 10 years in jail, isn't 00:13:58.369 --> 00:14:00.289 going to do me a whole lot of good. 00:14:00.289 --> 00:14:03.319 And I don't think it'll do the state of Alabama a whole lot of good. 00:14:03.319 --> 00:14:04.969 I made a huge mistake. 00:14:05.059 --> 00:14:08.149 You know, How can we resolve this? 00:14:09.149 --> 00:14:15.419 they ended up giving me a 10 year suspended sentence, a large fine a 00:14:15.449 --> 00:14:17.489 thousand hours community service. 00:14:17.489 --> 00:14:18.089 And. 00:14:18.809 --> 00:14:20.429 A year of probation. 00:14:21.389 --> 00:14:25.049 Which meant that if I was caught drinking or using drugs in that 00:14:25.049 --> 00:14:27.089 year, I went directly to the state. 00:14:27.249 --> 00:14:29.319 penitentiary for 10 years. 00:14:29.949 --> 00:14:35.109 you can imagine what that did for my drinking and using absolutely nothing. 00:14:35.349 --> 00:14:40.029 I spent the next year continuing to drinking, use drugs and game the system. 00:14:40.029 --> 00:14:40.329 And. 00:14:41.259 --> 00:14:43.179 Uh, almost got caught. 00:14:43.179 --> 00:14:43.839 I didn't. 00:14:44.229 --> 00:14:45.279 Praise the Lord. 00:14:45.459 --> 00:14:48.519 Um, but I got through all of that. 00:14:49.029 --> 00:14:55.239 And I'm still just living my life for my comfort, for my wellbeing. 00:14:55.899 --> 00:14:59.409 You know, I, anything I did was at a selfish. 00:14:59.709 --> 00:15:01.449 And self-seeking motives. 00:15:02.239 --> 00:15:04.189 so eventually. 00:15:04.513 --> 00:15:05.353 Aye. 00:15:05.526 --> 00:15:09.186 Came to a point where I just, I couldn't live like that anymore. 00:15:09.306 --> 00:15:12.246 And I decided I was going to get sober. 00:15:12.883 --> 00:15:16.453 It was a process, but I eventually did get sober. 00:15:16.633 --> 00:15:20.113 it took a couple of times, a few times trying. 00:15:20.833 --> 00:15:26.343 But, as that played out, I was in a fellowship that, supported 00:15:26.343 --> 00:15:28.623 that, that talked about God. 00:15:29.203 --> 00:15:36.283 so I was, given the opportunity to explore a relationship with God. 00:15:36.763 --> 00:15:38.083 That's what I would call it. 00:15:38.183 --> 00:15:40.583 And that was helpful. 00:15:40.763 --> 00:15:41.993 And I did. 00:15:42.473 --> 00:15:48.773 Did get sober and I changed in a lot of ways and it was better. 00:15:50.009 --> 00:15:53.159 During that time I met my wife. 00:15:53.229 --> 00:15:58.119 actually I met her before we both got sober, but we got sober. 00:15:58.189 --> 00:16:00.409 And then she had a relapse. 00:16:00.979 --> 00:16:01.939 And, 00:16:02.599 --> 00:16:04.459 I stayed sober. 00:16:05.209 --> 00:16:06.649 Which was a miracle. 00:16:07.613 --> 00:16:13.013 She ended up getting sober and staying sober, which was another miracle. 00:16:13.613 --> 00:16:19.493 we were together for a bout 10 years. 00:16:20.063 --> 00:16:21.803 We ended up getting married. 00:16:21.953 --> 00:16:28.883 we had been together, been sober, working hard, involved in recovery. 00:16:28.933 --> 00:16:33.373 you know, everything looked really good and, and was really good. 00:16:34.183 --> 00:16:34.933 It's up. 00:16:35.653 --> 00:16:37.843 Fundamentally I had not changed. 00:16:38.653 --> 00:16:40.963 It was still about me doing the work. 00:16:41.503 --> 00:16:45.553 It was still, you know, I could say the things like I was powerless 00:16:45.553 --> 00:16:48.163 and I needed God and all of that. 00:16:48.763 --> 00:16:51.823 But somewhere, obviously deep inside. 00:16:51.823 --> 00:16:53.953 I still thought I was doing. 00:16:54.493 --> 00:16:55.843 What was being done? 00:16:56.953 --> 00:17:03.113 And so at 10 years sober, I thought I had become a different person. 00:17:03.533 --> 00:17:07.223 I found myself in a situation where I was doing things that, 00:17:07.403 --> 00:17:09.623 uh, no godly man should be doing. 00:17:10.673 --> 00:17:12.623 and I couldn't blame it on drugs and alcohol. 00:17:13.943 --> 00:17:16.103 And so I almost. 00:17:16.943 --> 00:17:18.263 Killed our marriage. 00:17:18.773 --> 00:17:19.703 Um, 00:17:23.693 --> 00:17:25.253 It was very. 00:17:26.543 --> 00:17:27.263 Humbling. 00:17:27.903 --> 00:17:28.893 it was very hard. 00:17:29.043 --> 00:17:32.043 Um, And so. 00:17:33.303 --> 00:17:34.983 Prey, just praise God. 00:17:34.983 --> 00:17:36.903 She's such a strong person. 00:17:36.903 --> 00:17:39.483 You know, when we were going through this thing, 00:17:41.703 --> 00:17:43.653 I expected her to just give up on me. 00:17:44.343 --> 00:17:49.593 I really did and would not have blamed her, but she stood by me and 00:17:49.593 --> 00:17:51.633 she just said, I believe in you. 00:17:52.353 --> 00:17:53.883 And I know who you are. 00:17:54.483 --> 00:17:56.253 And we're going to make this work. 00:17:57.123 --> 00:17:59.913 And I held onto her faith. 00:18:00.663 --> 00:18:03.353 And, through that process. 00:18:03.833 --> 00:18:04.613 She. 00:18:05.243 --> 00:18:07.493 Was I, I want to start going to church. 00:18:08.393 --> 00:18:09.533 And I did too. 00:18:10.163 --> 00:18:12.803 I was just, I was ready, you know? 00:18:13.283 --> 00:18:18.433 So we started, going to different churches, just looking for a church home. 00:18:18.973 --> 00:18:20.083 it was very hard. 00:18:20.203 --> 00:18:22.183 There was a lot of things to work through. 00:18:22.283 --> 00:18:28.883 But the Lord just really held our hands through all that and walked us through. 00:18:28.933 --> 00:18:33.313 So, uh, when we were talking about, you know, where we wanted to go to church. 00:18:33.373 --> 00:18:37.413 And, kind of what our backgrounds were and you know, what. 00:18:37.743 --> 00:18:39.363 What we thought we needed. 00:18:39.363 --> 00:18:42.093 And I was like, I don't know where I want to go to church, 00:18:42.123 --> 00:18:46.263 but I'm absolutely certain, I do not want to go to a mega church. 00:18:46.473 --> 00:18:48.153 That's the only thing I know. 00:18:48.963 --> 00:18:54.314 well, during this time, a really good friend of mine had sent us a 00:18:54.314 --> 00:18:57.164 sermon series on the song of Solomon. 00:18:57.907 --> 00:19:05.617 And it along with a series on marriage done by Jordan Peterson. 00:19:06.517 --> 00:19:09.997 And the counseling that we were going through. 00:19:10.897 --> 00:19:14.737 I would point to as what saved our marriage. 00:19:15.277 --> 00:19:20.167 Eh, and not them in particular, but those were the things that 00:19:20.167 --> 00:19:23.497 pointed us to Jesus as the answer. 00:19:27.397 --> 00:19:33.277 And so we started bouncing around to different churches and we end up going 00:19:33.337 --> 00:19:38.587 to the church that the pastor that had done the song of Solomon series on. 00:19:39.577 --> 00:19:42.427 And low and behold, it's a mega charge. 00:19:42.637 --> 00:19:45.547 And, uh, but we're like, we're just going to give it a try. 00:19:45.547 --> 00:19:48.127 You know, we're not going to end up going there, but. 00:19:48.877 --> 00:19:53.887 We ended up walking in the door and we weren't there 10 minutes and we looked 00:19:53.887 --> 00:19:56.557 at each other and we're deciding, you know, this feels like home. 00:19:58.387 --> 00:19:59.737 Which was amazing. 00:19:59.767 --> 00:20:05.967 And so we started going to church there and, Just the. 00:20:07.107 --> 00:20:09.087 The spirit there. 00:20:09.447 --> 00:20:13.467 Was so prevalent and so strong. 00:20:14.127 --> 00:20:16.647 And so it hooked us. 00:20:16.697 --> 00:20:21.077 so we started going to church there and we're still working through our 00:20:21.077 --> 00:20:26.417 stuff and, Part of what they recommend is getting into a discipleship group. 00:20:26.787 --> 00:20:29.967 so we're like, okay, we're going to get into discipleship group. 00:20:30.717 --> 00:20:34.857 And the first one we go to, we just. 00:20:37.467 --> 00:20:39.237 I don't know how to explain it. 00:20:39.237 --> 00:20:44.277 Other than, you know, the Lord has ordered our staffs and they, he led us right 00:20:44.277 --> 00:20:46.707 into this discipleship group with this. 00:20:47.427 --> 00:20:52.707 Beautiful group of people that just have walked with a us. 00:20:53.247 --> 00:20:53.997 And. 00:20:54.597 --> 00:20:55.467 Lifted us 00:20:55.497 --> 00:20:56.097 up. 00:20:56.127 --> 00:20:58.197 And cried with us. 00:20:58.257 --> 00:21:04.617 Uh, and laughed with us and, uh, So we get into this discipleship 00:21:04.647 --> 00:21:12.837 group and, um, I end up having this experience at home one day. 00:21:13.357 --> 00:21:15.007 my wife and I were separated. 00:21:15.007 --> 00:21:15.937 I had come home. 00:21:15.937 --> 00:21:17.737 I had just kind of laid on the bed. 00:21:17.737 --> 00:21:18.337 I wasn't. 00:21:18.907 --> 00:21:20.077 Trying to nap. 00:21:20.107 --> 00:21:21.487 I wasn't trying to pray. 00:21:21.487 --> 00:21:22.537 I wasn't trying to meditate. 00:21:22.537 --> 00:21:23.287 I just kind of. 00:21:24.037 --> 00:21:31.207 Laid down and I had this experience, uh, For a while I laid there that I 00:21:31.207 --> 00:21:33.757 don't really know how to describe. 00:21:34.867 --> 00:21:39.137 But in this experience I began to see. 00:21:39.574 --> 00:21:42.514 What I had done and my marriage. 00:21:43.264 --> 00:21:46.864 From my point of view from the beginning. 00:21:48.184 --> 00:21:51.214 Up until I was laying there in the bed. 00:21:51.214 --> 00:21:55.054 And as I did, I had this weight on my chest. 00:21:55.714 --> 00:21:56.944 I couldn't get up. 00:21:57.004 --> 00:22:00.964 It was a, uh, tactile white. 00:22:00.994 --> 00:22:05.164 It was like somebody had said a huge rock on my chest. 00:22:05.524 --> 00:22:08.164 That was growing and growing and growing. 00:22:09.184 --> 00:22:14.524 And I got to where I was laying there in the bad and it flipped over. 00:22:14.524 --> 00:22:18.874 And I began to see that same experience from my wife's point of view. 00:22:20.334 --> 00:22:25.734 And I saw the damage I had done and the hurt that I had caused and the betrayal. 00:22:27.234 --> 00:22:29.874 And that rock just kept grow and grow. 00:22:29.874 --> 00:22:31.644 And then when I got. 00:22:32.244 --> 00:22:32.754 Back. 00:22:32.754 --> 00:22:33.834 It was kind of a loop. 00:22:33.864 --> 00:22:39.444 And when I got to the point where that had started from her point of view, 00:22:41.364 --> 00:22:46.494 I had this thought, this revelation that I needed a savior. 00:22:48.324 --> 00:22:51.174 And immediately the face of Jesus met me. 00:22:51.174 --> 00:22:51.714 Right. 00:22:51.774 --> 00:22:54.384 I, it was like, I was looking into his eyes. 00:22:55.884 --> 00:22:57.144 And that weight lifted. 00:22:58.374 --> 00:23:00.474 And I could feel again, I couldn't move. 00:23:01.074 --> 00:23:04.374 But I knew at that moment that I had been saved. 00:23:05.664 --> 00:23:10.464 And, that just ignited a passion in me too. 00:23:10.944 --> 00:23:12.084 Seek the Lord. 00:23:13.494 --> 00:23:18.444 He met me with truth and he says, I am the way the truth and the life. 00:23:19.404 --> 00:23:22.884 And for me, he met me with truth. 00:23:23.724 --> 00:23:25.584 And the truth was the. 00:23:27.444 --> 00:23:30.924 I was not a quote unquote good man. 00:23:32.094 --> 00:23:35.244 Um, But I did desire to be better. 00:23:35.814 --> 00:23:38.334 And that he was the only way that was going to happen. 00:23:39.674 --> 00:23:41.834 I can't describe the. 00:23:42.674 --> 00:23:46.454 Guilt and shame and remorse. 00:23:46.484 --> 00:23:50.354 And I was just disgusted with myself. 00:23:51.224 --> 00:23:54.824 And when he appeared in my vision. 00:23:55.304 --> 00:23:59.264 And my eyes were shut and, you know, but when he appeared to me 00:23:59.264 --> 00:24:01.394 face-to-face, that was lifted. 00:24:01.424 --> 00:24:06.434 And I knew at that point, That he had died on the cross for me. 00:24:07.454 --> 00:24:08.774 And that. 00:24:09.524 --> 00:24:10.214 Aye. 00:24:10.844 --> 00:24:14.114 Needed to live my life for him. 00:24:15.464 --> 00:24:21.794 And so since then it's been a journey. 00:24:22.394 --> 00:24:24.344 Of how do I do that? 00:24:26.024 --> 00:24:26.894 So. 00:24:28.064 --> 00:24:28.784 Going back. 00:24:28.784 --> 00:24:31.064 We were in the discipleship group. 00:24:31.094 --> 00:24:33.794 We, we both get baptized. 00:24:34.304 --> 00:24:37.514 And then we run into. 00:24:38.114 --> 00:24:39.554 Another really hard time. 00:24:40.124 --> 00:24:42.884 Yeah, no, I was thinking I'm getting bad ties. 00:24:42.884 --> 00:24:47.354 This is going to be pretty much a straight shot from here to the right hand of God. 00:24:47.824 --> 00:24:52.834 and that wasn't exactly how it went, but, What happened is my 00:24:52.834 --> 00:24:55.504 wife had a really bad relapse. 00:24:56.434 --> 00:25:01.204 And the Lord provided me an opportunity to stand by her. 00:25:02.764 --> 00:25:05.074 And it was such a beautiful thing. 00:25:05.074 --> 00:25:07.304 It was, very scary. 00:25:07.664 --> 00:25:09.314 It was heart-wrenching. 00:25:09.834 --> 00:25:13.314 it was, One of the hardest things. 00:25:13.914 --> 00:25:15.264 I've ever been through. 00:25:16.524 --> 00:25:19.224 But it was completely different. 00:25:20.154 --> 00:25:20.964 With the Lord. 00:25:22.014 --> 00:25:27.294 so I was able to stand by her and love her. 00:25:27.384 --> 00:25:28.164 And. 00:25:29.034 --> 00:25:30.264 Pray for her. 00:25:30.444 --> 00:25:33.714 And we ended up getting her into treatment. 00:25:34.254 --> 00:25:37.884 And, uh, She picked the place. 00:25:38.134 --> 00:25:45.574 And so she was going to go to treatment and just before she left, Things 00:25:45.574 --> 00:25:47.614 had taken a turn for the worse. 00:25:47.794 --> 00:25:53.624 And, in that time, the Lord had brought a good friend of ours back into our 00:25:53.624 --> 00:26:00.134 life that we had known previously, who, when we got baptized, she reached out. 00:26:01.064 --> 00:26:05.324 And she was like, Hey, I hear you been given the keys to the kingdom. 00:26:05.354 --> 00:26:12.554 And so, she became just a pivotal person and. 00:26:12.644 --> 00:26:13.304 hour. 00:26:13.724 --> 00:26:15.134 Walk with the Lord. 00:26:15.914 --> 00:26:23.074 So it came down to the day the, my wife was, going to treatment and things needed 00:26:23.074 --> 00:26:27.754 to change and it was just kind of chaos. 00:26:28.354 --> 00:26:29.884 And I ended up calling. 00:26:30.104 --> 00:26:35.344 Andrea and saying, Hey, you know, I'm I was sitting in my truck, crying. 00:26:35.444 --> 00:26:38.024 Just like, I don't know what to do. 00:26:38.894 --> 00:26:40.064 And she said, well, where are you? 00:26:40.154 --> 00:26:42.524 I said, I'm at the shops that I'm three minutes away. 00:26:44.084 --> 00:26:47.084 So she comes over, gets in the truck. 00:26:48.554 --> 00:26:49.004 Lays hands. 00:26:49.004 --> 00:26:50.804 Hands on me and begins to pray. 00:26:50.804 --> 00:26:53.024 And the holy spirit fills the truck. 00:26:54.254 --> 00:26:56.984 I mean the temperature lowered. 00:26:58.034 --> 00:26:59.444 I felt peace. 00:26:59.564 --> 00:27:00.794 I felt calm. 00:27:01.274 --> 00:27:04.214 Nothing had changed, but everything was different. 00:27:05.984 --> 00:27:14.264 So we then needed to go and talk to Aaron and say, Hey, look, you know, I know 00:27:14.294 --> 00:27:19.364 you're supposed to go on to treatment, but we're actually going to detox first. 00:27:19.844 --> 00:27:22.994 She was less than excited about that. 00:27:23.444 --> 00:27:24.404 But we got through that. 00:27:24.874 --> 00:27:27.624 and, Looking back. 00:27:27.744 --> 00:27:29.844 I can see how. 00:27:30.157 --> 00:27:33.787 The Lord just has surrounded me with the people, 00:27:34.070 --> 00:27:37.730 Really the person who spent the most time. 00:27:38.090 --> 00:27:44.480 And the most energy and probably prayed for me more than anybody else in my life. 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:48.890 With somebody I've known now for 30 years. 00:27:49.730 --> 00:27:51.820 And he's, he's always walked with the Lord. 00:27:52.450 --> 00:27:58.390 We both had our struggles and our stories kind of intermingle with 00:27:58.510 --> 00:28:01.090 the drugs and the alcohol and stuff. 00:28:01.660 --> 00:28:02.260 But. 00:28:03.130 --> 00:28:03.880 Looking back. 00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:07.270 I can see God put him in my life long ago. 00:28:08.050 --> 00:28:10.030 And he earned the right. 00:28:10.494 --> 00:28:11.904 To speak. 00:28:12.090 --> 00:28:12.630 Life. 00:28:12.630 --> 00:28:13.380 And to me. 00:28:13.770 --> 00:28:15.960 And to speak to me about the Lord. 00:28:16.620 --> 00:28:20.160 And he and his family showed up the day we got baptized. 00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:23.430 It's just been a beautiful. 00:28:23.817 --> 00:28:24.597 Story. 00:28:24.717 --> 00:28:29.517 I mean, I don't even know how to describe how the Lord works. 00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:32.710 But looking back, it's so obvious that he does. 00:28:33.177 --> 00:28:37.917 You know, it's always hard when I'm moving forward. 00:28:38.427 --> 00:28:39.237 To see. 00:28:40.017 --> 00:28:41.337 How the Lord is working. 00:28:42.037 --> 00:28:45.107 But when I look back, it's always so obvious, and I 00:28:45.107 --> 00:28:47.087 just wonder, like you had a. 00:28:47.657 --> 00:28:48.017 Man. 00:28:48.017 --> 00:28:52.127 If I had known that the whole time I'd have just gone along willingly with 00:28:52.127 --> 00:28:54.587 a good attitude and you and a half. 00:28:55.157 --> 00:28:57.557 So we get through that period of time. 00:28:57.557 --> 00:29:02.537 So after I got baptized, A good friend of mine was struggling with some 00:29:02.537 --> 00:29:06.527 mental issues and, and errands relapse. 00:29:07.397 --> 00:29:12.197 Probably 60 to 90 days after I got baptized. 00:29:13.007 --> 00:29:16.667 Was a real test of faith. 00:29:16.777 --> 00:29:21.997 I really feel like, um, I was being tested. 00:29:22.537 --> 00:29:25.117 And I was very new. 00:29:25.837 --> 00:29:26.647 To faith. 00:29:27.137 --> 00:29:30.737 so I didn't have a lot of experience to fall back on. 00:29:31.517 --> 00:29:33.887 But I did have a lot of people. 00:29:34.817 --> 00:29:35.957 That had faith. 00:29:36.137 --> 00:29:39.797 They were speaking life and to me, and that were walking with me 00:29:39.827 --> 00:29:44.087 and that loved us through that. 00:29:44.807 --> 00:29:46.997 We get through that period. 00:29:47.087 --> 00:29:50.397 And, Aaron's doing great now. 00:29:50.427 --> 00:29:54.177 Oh, what I wanted to say about her rehab experience was. 00:29:54.687 --> 00:29:58.677 So she picks out this place in south Florida because it's the one 00:29:58.677 --> 00:30:01.257 place she can get a private room. 00:30:01.527 --> 00:30:03.297 She doesn't have to share a room with somebody. 00:30:03.927 --> 00:30:08.337 And, uh, so we end up finally, we get her down there. 00:30:08.367 --> 00:30:11.997 She walks in and is talking with the. 00:30:12.867 --> 00:30:17.577 Clinical director and the conversation turns to faith. 00:30:18.867 --> 00:30:21.567 And she's like, yes, I am a believer. 00:30:21.597 --> 00:30:27.117 And it just so happens that this place has four counselors. 00:30:27.807 --> 00:30:29.487 All of them are believers. 00:30:30.057 --> 00:30:36.627 And so for the next 30 days, They speak the word over her. 00:30:38.037 --> 00:30:39.867 Now she's been to treatment before. 00:30:40.437 --> 00:30:41.517 More than once. 00:30:42.537 --> 00:30:46.317 But the experience of being there. 00:30:47.037 --> 00:30:53.307 And them speaking the word over her speaking life and to her was. 00:30:55.977 --> 00:30:56.937 Indescribable. 00:30:57.717 --> 00:31:06.567 I mean, I don't have words to describe what that did for her and for me, And what 00:31:06.567 --> 00:31:09.117 we learned through all of that is the. 00:31:09.657 --> 00:31:11.337 We need. 00:31:11.757 --> 00:31:14.487 To each be seeking Jesus. 00:31:14.817 --> 00:31:17.577 If we want to be closer to each other. 00:31:18.357 --> 00:31:21.777 And the closer we get to him, the closer we get to each other. 00:31:22.677 --> 00:31:24.897 And that has changed our relationship. 00:31:24.967 --> 00:31:26.437 it's been. 00:31:27.337 --> 00:31:28.537 Just incredible. 00:31:28.537 --> 00:31:32.497 The change that has happened in our relationship. 00:31:32.677 --> 00:31:35.297 Through Just that one change. 00:31:36.077 --> 00:31:40.367 And changing each person's focus. 00:31:41.037 --> 00:31:44.007 so now, you know, we are both. 00:31:45.387 --> 00:31:52.287 Doing our best to walk with the Lord and we spend our time with other believers. 00:31:52.287 --> 00:31:53.787 We spend our time. 00:31:54.387 --> 00:32:00.387 Doing things that try to add a fire, him and ourselves. 00:32:01.404 --> 00:32:03.234 there's still challenges. 00:32:03.294 --> 00:32:05.184 There always are challenges. 00:32:05.694 --> 00:32:10.104 but the challenges are his and not mine now. 00:32:11.010 --> 00:32:13.890 You know, there's such a freedom. 00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:16.290 And walking with the Lord. 00:32:17.050 --> 00:32:17.830 so. 00:32:18.490 --> 00:32:20.530 Now we're we're rooted. 00:32:21.080 --> 00:32:25.190 I really feel like we're rooted as a family. 00:32:25.850 --> 00:32:30.040 And, The last thing I really wanted to talk about you in a God. 00:32:30.340 --> 00:32:32.560 There's so many things the Lord has done. 00:32:32.560 --> 00:32:34.810 Just the people he's put in our lives. 00:32:34.890 --> 00:32:40.700 so now, we're trying to walk with the Lord and, an old friend of mine, somebody that 00:32:40.916 --> 00:32:42.836 I have known for seven or eight years. 00:32:42.836 --> 00:32:49.406 We've been really good friends and, through our relationship, he had seen me. 00:32:50.186 --> 00:32:52.046 Come to the Lord and. 00:32:52.766 --> 00:32:55.796 And we got to talking about that and. 00:32:56.936 --> 00:32:57.716 And. 00:32:58.406 --> 00:33:02.336 I saw how that ignited in him, a fire for the Lord. 00:33:02.336 --> 00:33:03.056 Again. 00:33:03.836 --> 00:33:05.276 And as God. 00:33:05.306 --> 00:33:12.526 Does, he just shifted things around And so now he's actually working with us. 00:33:13.376 --> 00:33:17.056 so, I get to spend my work day. 00:33:17.956 --> 00:33:19.546 Talking about Jesus. 00:33:20.836 --> 00:33:21.616 And. 00:33:22.336 --> 00:33:27.736 Oddly enough, six months ago I was ready to sell my business. 00:33:27.856 --> 00:33:30.886 I just didn't feel like there was purpose in it. 00:33:31.036 --> 00:33:35.986 I, um, Was overwhelmed just with the work aspect. 00:33:36.016 --> 00:33:38.416 And there, they were just things that I was like, I don't 00:33:38.416 --> 00:33:40.186 know if I can do this anymore. 00:33:40.216 --> 00:33:43.666 so we got to talk in, you know, I've got to talking about Jesus 00:33:43.666 --> 00:33:46.046 and, he eventually came on. 00:33:46.886 --> 00:33:50.546 And since then, my work is what I do for a living, but it's 00:33:50.546 --> 00:33:52.316 not what I do to pay the bills. 00:33:53.156 --> 00:33:53.426 Yeah. 00:33:54.086 --> 00:34:02.096 So much in my life, looking back to even BN, uh, Very young person. 00:34:03.086 --> 00:34:06.536 My life was about what I did to pay the bills. 00:34:07.176 --> 00:34:08.706 and so much of my. 00:34:09.326 --> 00:34:13.166 meaning self-esteem self-worth. 00:34:13.976 --> 00:34:16.076 Really centered around. 00:34:16.616 --> 00:34:18.566 How I got the bills paid. 00:34:19.766 --> 00:34:27.116 And so now while I'm riding around doing locksmiths stuff, in between 00:34:27.116 --> 00:34:31.046 I get to talk about, okay, so how can we advance the kingdom? 00:34:32.426 --> 00:34:36.386 How, how can I be a better disciple of Jesus? 00:34:37.166 --> 00:34:43.026 What can I do to help others see the Lord and the goodness and the grace and 00:34:43.026 --> 00:34:45.996 the mercy that's available to them to. 00:34:47.136 --> 00:34:50.106 And now works not working anymore. 00:34:51.126 --> 00:34:58.186 You know, so a good portion of my life is spent, whether 00:34:58.186 --> 00:35:00.436 it is talking with my friend. 00:35:00.826 --> 00:35:04.756 That works with me or talking with my friend that. 00:35:05.386 --> 00:35:11.506 Helped bring me to the Lord or talking with my wife or talking with my friend 00:35:11.506 --> 00:35:13.456 that has been brought back into our lives. 00:35:13.996 --> 00:35:18.046 So much of my life is spent just. 00:35:18.796 --> 00:35:20.596 Forgetting not his benefits. 00:35:22.866 --> 00:35:30.336 The, the thing that I held on to during that time, that time after I got baptized. 00:35:30.906 --> 00:35:35.556 Was God is at work and all things. 00:35:36.486 --> 00:35:39.936 For the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. 00:35:40.836 --> 00:35:43.356 And I can tell you, I quoted that scripture. 00:35:43.686 --> 00:35:45.846 10,000 times. 00:35:46.189 --> 00:35:47.629 During that period. 00:35:49.279 --> 00:35:50.629 And God proved that true. 00:35:51.312 --> 00:35:58.962 And it's something that as I face new challenges, I can reflect back on. 00:35:59.592 --> 00:36:04.872 And say, you know, God is at work and all things. 00:36:05.952 --> 00:36:09.042 For the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. 00:36:09.852 --> 00:36:10.842 And if that's true. 00:36:11.262 --> 00:36:12.462 And I know it is. 00:36:12.852 --> 00:36:16.332 Then he's at work and whatever it is I'm facing today. 00:36:17.052 --> 00:36:21.252 Whatever challenge it is, whatever monumental task, whatever. 00:36:22.242 --> 00:36:26.562 Thing that I just can't seem to wrap my head around. 00:36:27.385 --> 00:36:30.505 God has to be at work and this thing too. 00:36:31.675 --> 00:36:36.925 And so it takes my mind off of what it is that I'm facing. 00:36:38.155 --> 00:36:41.995 And it sets my mind on things above. 00:36:41.995 --> 00:36:46.105 So one of the scriptures that I've memorized of light. 00:36:46.765 --> 00:36:50.215 Has been Colossians three, one through 17. 00:36:52.045 --> 00:36:58.495 And I often go back the first-line and there, if then you were raised with 00:36:58.495 --> 00:37:01.705 Christ set your mind on things above. 00:37:02.155 --> 00:37:03.775 Not on things of this earth. 00:37:04.945 --> 00:37:10.075 And so when I find myself in these challenges, That's my challenge. 00:37:10.825 --> 00:37:12.445 To set my mind on him. 00:37:13.045 --> 00:37:15.505 To take my mind off of what's in front of me. 00:37:16.105 --> 00:37:17.935 And to set my mind on what's above. 00:37:19.045 --> 00:37:22.675 And what I find is that when I do that, the temperature lowers 00:37:22.705 --> 00:37:27.055 the fear lessens the problem isn't quite as big as it seemed. 00:37:27.715 --> 00:37:30.895 And I'm able to just place my trust in the Lord. 00:37:32.035 --> 00:37:33.235 And when I do that. 00:37:34.975 --> 00:37:35.935 He's at work. 00:37:36.655 --> 00:37:37.645 And all things. 00:37:38.885 --> 00:37:39.245 Yeah. 00:37:39.275 --> 00:37:39.665 Hi. 00:37:40.025 --> 00:37:44.125 Um, I'm so grateful, W when you reached out to me about doing 00:37:44.125 --> 00:37:45.745 this, I was super excited. 00:37:46.225 --> 00:37:49.258 You know, part of the walk as learning, how to walk. 00:37:50.038 --> 00:37:54.628 I'm don't have a lot of experience. 00:37:55.168 --> 00:37:59.848 You know, when, when I say that I don't have, I didn't grow up in church. 00:37:59.878 --> 00:38:02.578 I had, you know, I don't know all the things. 00:38:03.148 --> 00:38:06.298 But what I've learned is that the Lord is very gracious. 00:38:07.018 --> 00:38:11.038 And, uh, that he fills that gap. 00:38:11.668 --> 00:38:15.538 You know, and I really do believe that if I will. 00:38:16.078 --> 00:38:17.788 Give what I have. 00:38:18.741 --> 00:38:20.091 He'll give what I need. 00:38:20.821 --> 00:38:21.631 Absolutely. 00:38:23.458 --> 00:38:27.418 What I always like to ask people is. 00:38:28.078 --> 00:38:29.248 If there's one. 00:38:29.728 --> 00:38:34.258 Bit of wisdom that you could pass on to somebody who's out there in the 00:38:34.258 --> 00:38:36.238 future, listening to this podcast. 00:38:36.748 --> 00:38:39.358 And, you know, the Lord is going to do it, and he's going to put somebody 00:38:39.358 --> 00:38:40.678 there that needs to hear this. 00:38:41.248 --> 00:38:43.498 What would that one piece of wisdom be? 00:38:44.065 --> 00:38:48.225 love the Lord, thy God, with all my Heart mind, soul and strength. 00:38:48.918 --> 00:38:51.048 And love your neighbor as yourself. 00:38:51.550 --> 00:38:52.870 I don't know. 00:38:52.947 --> 00:38:55.257 How much wisdom I have. 00:38:55.374 --> 00:38:56.184 But. 00:38:56.317 --> 00:38:57.697 I do know. 00:38:57.753 --> 00:38:59.673 That if I trust in the Lord. 00:38:59.737 --> 00:39:01.507 He will provide what I need. 00:39:01.600 --> 00:39:04.510 And I had to let go of getting what I want. 00:39:04.634 --> 00:39:05.834 And seek what I need. 00:39:06.387 --> 00:39:11.667 Today I'm, uh, that I can trust the Lord that he has plans for 00:39:11.667 --> 00:39:13.467 me and plans for me to prosper. 00:39:13.847 --> 00:39:16.457 I always thought I needed to do the prospering. 00:39:17.007 --> 00:39:17.487 But. 00:39:17.910 --> 00:39:22.350 What the Lord provides is so much better than what I would look for. 00:39:22.907 --> 00:39:23.447 Every time. 00:39:23.930 --> 00:39:24.800 Every single time. 00:39:25.433 --> 00:39:25.763 Yeah. 00:39:25.913 --> 00:39:28.463 That's been my experience too. 00:39:29.195 --> 00:39:30.785 Is there anything else you want to add? 00:39:31.578 --> 00:39:33.638 No just, Gratitude. 00:39:34.928 --> 00:39:38.018 Like a deep and abiding gratitude for. 00:39:39.518 --> 00:39:43.988 For the way the Lord has worked in my life or the people that he's surrounded 00:39:43.988 --> 00:39:47.108 me with for the opportunities, the. 00:39:48.098 --> 00:39:53.468 That I've been given, you know, so many times I have squandered opportunities. 00:39:54.068 --> 00:39:57.578 That I don't know that I deserved another chance. 00:39:58.418 --> 00:39:59.288 But. 00:40:00.068 --> 00:40:03.128 I trust that he knows better than I do. 00:40:03.968 --> 00:40:05.198 So I just want to. 00:40:06.098 --> 00:40:07.898 Be a good and faithful servant. 00:40:08.678 --> 00:40:10.718 I want to do what he wants me to do. 00:40:10.718 --> 00:40:13.748 I want to see the things that he wants for me. 00:40:15.308 --> 00:40:18.638 And that is not always easy. 00:40:18.668 --> 00:40:21.728 You know, it's not easy giving up 50 years of, 00:40:22.388 --> 00:40:23.198 Patterns. 00:40:24.368 --> 00:40:27.728 You know, I don't know how else to describe it other than patterns. 00:40:28.448 --> 00:40:33.458 And taking on the pattern that he has designed for me. 00:40:34.316 --> 00:40:36.176 That's my deepest desire. 00:40:36.748 --> 00:40:39.148 to be the man that he called me to be. 00:40:39.712 --> 00:40:41.032 And in that. 00:40:41.282 --> 00:40:42.962 Him being glorified. 00:40:43.458 --> 00:40:44.208 And not me. 00:40:46.131 --> 00:40:49.311 Well, John, thank you so much for doing this and taking 00:40:49.311 --> 00:40:50.871 the time to tell your story. 00:40:50.871 --> 00:40:53.151 It's uh, Really been a blessing. 00:40:54.471 --> 00:40:56.361 Would you pray for our listeners? 00:40:57.850 --> 00:40:58.930 Absolutely. 00:41:04.450 --> 00:41:07.360 I just think you, I thank you for your. 00:41:08.860 --> 00:41:13.450 Faithfulness your goodness, your gentleness, your kindness. 00:41:15.400 --> 00:41:18.070 I thank you for your patience. 00:41:19.600 --> 00:41:20.710 I think you. 00:41:21.220 --> 00:41:21.700 Four. 00:41:22.270 --> 00:41:23.650 The opportunity. 00:41:24.700 --> 00:41:27.730 To sit down and talk with the talk about you. 00:41:28.450 --> 00:41:29.620 With a good friend. 00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:33.820 I thank you for the listeners. 00:41:35.350 --> 00:41:39.160 I pray for that listener that might hear that one thing. 00:41:40.900 --> 00:41:42.640 That brings them closer to you. 00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:47.920 I thank you most for the finished work of your son. 00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:52.060 Jesus Christ on the cross that made it possible for us to be here today. 00:41:54.070 --> 00:41:55.810 I thank you for your love. 00:41:56.200 --> 00:41:58.450 I thank you for the holy spirit. 00:42:00.340 --> 00:42:04.900 I just pray that this entire world would turn to you. 00:42:04.900 --> 00:42:05.530 God. 00:42:07.090 --> 00:42:09.160 And we would all see queue. 00:42:09.700 --> 00:42:13.450 That we would lay aside our plans, our designs, or her. 00:42:14.440 --> 00:42:18.970 Care's our concerns, our worries, our dreams, our hopes. 00:42:21.070 --> 00:42:22.540 Lay them at your feet. 00:42:23.410 --> 00:42:25.120 And seek your will. 00:42:26.440 --> 00:42:27.820 And that's everyone. 00:42:29.170 --> 00:42:32.650 From the people that are struggling today with whatever 00:42:32.650 --> 00:42:34.360 it is that they struggle with. 00:42:34.510 --> 00:42:37.960 Uh, to people in positions of power. 00:42:38.650 --> 00:42:42.400 Politicians, those making decisions that affect. 00:42:43.030 --> 00:42:44.410 Millions of people. 00:42:44.410 --> 00:42:47.650 I just prayed that they would turn to you for guidance. 00:42:49.600 --> 00:42:50.890 And I pray that. 00:42:51.610 --> 00:42:54.940 In that this world would come to know you. 00:42:56.320 --> 00:43:00.430 Come to know your justice, your mercy, your love. 00:43:01.150 --> 00:43:02.200 Your grace. 00:43:04.030 --> 00:43:06.010 And I just pray that that would make this world. 00:43:06.010 --> 00:43:11.020 I pray that your kingdom would come on our earth as it is in heaven. 00:43:12.640 --> 00:43:15.430 I think you for the model. 00:43:16.270 --> 00:43:20.410 Of Jesus Christ and how to live our life and how to love our neighbor. 00:43:21.550 --> 00:43:22.990 And I just pray that. 00:43:23.770 --> 00:43:30.670 I would continue to seek that as a model for my own life. 00:43:32.350 --> 00:43:37.270 And that I would be a good steward of the gifts that you have given me. 00:43:37.540 --> 00:43:38.080 And. 00:43:38.650 --> 00:43:41.620 Trying to help others that are seeking the same. 00:43:44.260 --> 00:43:45.190 In Jesus' name? 00:43:45.190 --> 00:43:45.640 I pray. 00:43:46.960 --> 00:43:47.320 Amen. 00:43:48.550 --> 00:43:49.090 All right, man. 00:43:53.730 --> 00:43:55.930 Cailin: We hope you've been blessed by today's story. 00:43:56.350 --> 00:44:00.540 if you've heard something that you think could help someone you know, please share 00:44:00.540 --> 00:44:02.370 it using the link in the show notes. 00:44:03.200 --> 00:44:07.550 Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a positive review on your podcast platform, 00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:09.640 you could help more people find it. 00:44:10.250 --> 00:44:14.315 You will probably never know how that small effort can make a big 00:44:14.315 --> 00:44:17.865 difference in someone's life, but our Heavenly Father knows. 00:44:18.365 --> 00:44:23.165 Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus follower with a story to tell, please send 00:44:23.165 --> 00:44:25.095 them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast. 00:44:26.065 --> 00:44:28.225 It may encourage them to tell their story. 00:44:28.625 --> 00:44:30.225 That person may even be you. 00:44:30.695 --> 00:44:33.825 Our only criteria is that Jesus be glorified. 00:44:34.075 --> 00:44:35.735 It's all about Jesus. 00:44:36.515 --> 00:44:41.225 So when you're ready to tell how Jesus has impacted your life, you can let Jesse 00:44:41.225 --> 00:44:44.345 know at his ministry website, jesseduke. 00:44:44.365 --> 00:44:44.625 net. 00:44:45.255 --> 00:44:48.435 There you can download guidelines that will make it easy to 00:44:48.435 --> 00:44:49.895 prepare to tell your story. 00:44:50.515 --> 00:44:52.955 Thank you for listening today and Shalom.