In this episode of the Man on Fire podcast, David Mehler challenges high-achieving men to confront the pain they’ve been avoiding. He argues that what we’re really running from isn’t failure or success—it’s suffering itself.
The conversation reveals how pain management strategies like porn, food, alcohol and overwork keep us stuck and how turning toward discomfort can unlock freedom, purpose and even joy.
David draws on a lesson from India, childhood wisdom and decades of working with men to illustrate why avoiding emotions prolongs them and why our deepest wounds often hide our greatest gifts.
🔥 Key Takeaways:
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00:01:00] Pain management is the real trap: we’re not running from success or failure but from the discomfort we never learned to face.
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00:02:10] “Man suffers because man avoids his suffering” – avoidance, not the emotion itself, is the true source of our pain.
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00:08:10] Children show us that emotions are meant to move in seconds to minutes; adults carry them for years because we resist feeling.
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00:10:35] There’s a thin veil between the center of suffering and joy; when you dive straight into the emotion it often transforms into laughter and relief.
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00:13:40] The greater your wound, the greater your calling; your trauma can become your medicine when you’re willing to see it through the lens of the soul.
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00:15:10] A three-step practice: catch yourself pain managing, identify and fully feel the emotion, then anchor with gratitude.