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Welcome to Happening in Henderson, the weekly show where hosts Mark and Joleen serve up Henderson’s news with equal parts insight, cynicism, and sharp-edged humor. From local headlines and community events to crime updates, school district drama, weather forecasts, sports highlights, and brutally honest restaurant reviews, nothing is off limits.
Whether you’re a lifelong local or new to the 890xx life, this is the place to stay informed… without falling asleep.
MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Henderson', the only podcast that reminds you why you pay a premium to live in a desert surrounded by expensive dirt and even more expensive people. It's Monday, May 18, 2026, and I'm your host Mark, coming to you with the kind of composed indifference that only a decade of Henderson traffic can provide.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, the upbeat cynic who's just here to make sure we don't accidentally say anything too nice about the city council without a heavy dose of irony. Seriously though, Henderson is great, but sometimes it feels like a very well-manicured insane asylum where the inmates all drive Teslas and don't know how to use a fucking turn signal.
MARK: It's true. We love this place, even if the primary local pastime is complaining about things that are technically our own fault. If you've got a problem with the show, or if you just want to tell us we're assholes, you can reach us at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com. We might even read your email if it's got enough creative insults.
JOLEEN: Don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a comment. Preferably a comment that makes us look popular to the algorithm gods. We've got a massive show today because Henderson apparently decided to go full 'Grand Theft Auto' over the weekend. Mark, what the hell happened at the Costco?
MARK: Well, Joleen, if you were planning on picking up a bulk pack of toilet paper and a cheap rotisserie chicken at the St. Rose Parkway Costco on Saturday, you might've ended up with a face full of mace instead. Around 2:00 PM, some absolute dickhead tried to steal a laptop and decided the best exit strategy was to spray an employee and a bunch of random shoppers with chemical irritants.
JOLEEN: Nothing says 'low ROI crime' like macing a grandmother in the frozen food section for a mid-tier Dell. I've been to that Costco. It's the 'fancy' one. People there usually lose their minds over the sample line for seaweed snacks, not chemical warfare. Imagine just trying to find the 48-count of Greek yogurt and suddenly you can't breathe because someone's a failed tech thief.
MARK: Exactly. The suspect fled and the police are still looking for him. It's 2026. Every inch of that warehouse is covered in 4K cameras. You're basically live-streaming your felony to the world. But hey, I guess if you're dumb enough to steal a laptop from a place where you literally have to show a membership card to get in, you're not exactly a mastermind.
JOLEEN: The audacity is what gets me. You're in a building with like, a thousand witnesses and only two exits. It's a logistical nightmare for a heist. I hope they catch the guy just so we can see the mugshot of the person who thought 'Mace at the Warehouse' was a solid Saturday afternoon plan. It's just trashy, even for our standards.
MARK: Switching from petty theft to actual dark news, two inmates at High Desert State Prison were pronounced dead on Friday. John Garcia and Jonathan Lator. One was serving time for a home invasion and the other for attempted lewdness with a child. The state hasn't released the causes of death yet, but let's be real, prison in the Nevada desert isn't exactly a wellness retreat.
JOLEEN: Yeah, those names don't exactly inspire a lot of sympathy from me. It's just one of those things where you read the headline and think, 'Well, the state's budget just got a tiny bit lighter.' It's weird how we just accept these random prison deaths as part of the background noise of living here. It's grim, but that's the valley for you.
MARK: It's definitely grim. Moving closer to home, the suspect from that shooting on the grounds of Legacy High School last week is finally behind bars. 21-year-old Jaleel Jenkins-Harris. He's facing attempted murder charges. Apparently, he brandished a gun at an officer on campus, which is a fantastic way to get yourself shot at or, at the very least, a permanent room with no view.
JOLEEN: Legacy is North Las Vegas, but let's not pretend like the drama doesn't bleed over the border. Every time a school goes on lockdown, parents in Henderson have a collective panic attack on the Nextdoor app. It's scary as shit. You send your kid to school to learn geometry, not how to duck behind a cafeteria table because some dickhead wants to play tough on campus.
MARK: The police actually fired a shot during the encounter. It's just a miracle nobody else was hurt. This leads us into our school update, and look, we've talked about the accident numbers before, but there's a new twist. Senator Catherine Cortez Masto just introduced the 'Safe Bus Routes to School Act'. It's basically a federal push to fix our shitty pedestrian crossings and bus stops.
JOLEEN: It's about time. We've got kids flying around on e-bikes that go 30 miles per hour, and drivers who think a school zone sign is just a suggestion to check their TikTok. I saw a kid on an e-scooter yesterday who wasn't wearing a helmet and was weaving through traffic like he had a death wish. Henderson actually has a law that minors have to wear helmets, but I've never seen it enforced.
MARK: The law's there, but the police have bigger fish to fry, like Costco mace-man. But seriously, the audit of 24 CCSD campuses showed that arrival and departure times are basically a demolition derby. If this federal bill brings some actual cash for flashing lights and better barriers, maybe we can stop treating the morning drop-off like an obstacle course.
JOLEEN: I'll believe it when I see it. Usually, these bills just result in a new committee that meets three times a year to discuss how much they hate their jobs. Meanwhile, we've still got parents making illegal U-turns in front of middle schools. It's like the moment people enter a school zone, their brains just leak out of their ears and they forget how physics works.
MARK: Speaking of things that shouldn't exist but do, let's talk about the Four Seasons Private Residences at MacDonald Highlands. Vertical construction is officially underway, and they've already sold over 500 million dollars worth of condos. The cheapest ones start at three and a half million. The penthouses? Twenty-nine million fucking dollars.
JOLEEN: Twenty-nine million dollars to live in a building in Henderson. For that price, it better come with a personal butler who also doubles as a bodyguard and a world-class chef. Who are these people? I'm over here debating if I should get the name-brand cereal and someone's dropping thirty mil on a view of the Strip from a mountain ridge.
MARK: It's a completely different reality. These towers are the first high-rises built in the valley since the Great Recession. They've got a pet spa, an auto spa--which I assume is just a fancy car wash for people who're too rich to touch a hose--and a private chef service. It's essentially a five-star hotel where you never have to check out.
JOLEEN: An 'auto spa'. Give me a break. It's a garage, Mark. It's a very expensive garage. But hey, it's bringing in tax revenue and making our property values look slightly less depressing, I guess. I just can't wrap my head around living in a condo that costs more than a small island. At least in a house, you don't have to share an elevator with someone who's also an asshole billionaire.
MARK: Well, if you're an asshole billionaire in the Four Seasons, you probably have a private elevator, so you don't have to look at the plebs in the five-million-dollar units. Let's pivot to sports, which is much more relatable for the common man. The Vegas Golden Knights officially eliminated the Anaheim Ducks on Thursday. They won five-to-one in Game 6.
JOLEEN: That was a hell of a series. Mitch Marner is playing like his hair's on fire. Seven goals and eleven assists so far? The guy's a beast. But of course, it's not a Knights playoff run without some stupid drama. Coach John Tortorella got fined a hundred thousand dollars because he refused to talk to the media after the win. Classic Torts.
MARK: I love it. If I just won a series and secured a spot in the Western Conference Finals, the last thing I'd want to do is answer three dozen variations of 'How does it feel to win?' Torts is basically our spirit animal. He's composed, he's grumpy, and he's got zero patience for idiocy. The NHL also took away a second-round draft pick from the team for some policy violation. The league really hates us, don't they?
JOLEEN: They're just jealous that we've got a better atmosphere in a desert rink than they do in Canada. We start the Western Conference Finals against the Colorado Avalanche on Wednesday in Denver. That's going to be a bloodbath. Those guys are fast, but we've got Carter Hart in net, and he was a wall against the Ducks. He saved 31 of 32 shots in that clincher.
MARK: It's going to be a tough series, but the Knights always seem to find a way to make it interesting. I'm just hoping we don't see any more fines. A hundred grand is a lot of money, even if the owner is probably printing it in the back room. At least the fans get a home game this Sunday, May 24th. That's when the series comes back to the Fortress.
JOLEEN: I'll be there, probably screaming until my lungs give out. It's the only time it's socially acceptable for me to be that loud in public. Speaking of things to do, let's talk about food. Nielsen's Frozen Custard is opening their new location at Green Valley Ranch Resort this Friday, May 22nd, at noon.
MARK: Now, this is news I can actually use. Frozen custard is superior to ice cream in every way. It's denser, it's creamier, and it doesn't give you that immediate sugar crash that makes you want to nap for three days. They're giving away free scoops to the first hundred people, and they've got a raffle for a 65-inch TV.
JOLEEN: You had me at 'free'. I don't even care about the TV. Just give me one of those 'concretes' with cake batter and peanut butter clusters. I'll deal with the calories later. It's their fifth location in the valley, so clearly, we have a collective problem with dairy that Howard and Amanda Zayon are very happy to exploit.
MARK: It's a good problem to have. If you're going to be a fat-ass, you might as well do it with high-quality custard. Just be prepared for the line. People in Henderson will wait three hours for anything free, even if it's just a sticker. Throw in some gourmet custard and a chance at a TV, and you'll probably see people camping out like it's a new iPhone launch.
JOLEEN: I'd camp out for custard. Don't judge me. It's better than camping out for a spot in the McDonald Highlands HOA. But if you're driving to Green Valley Ranch, you've got to deal with the ongoing nightmare that is Boulder Highway. The 'reimagining' project is still in full swing, which is just code for 'we've placed orange cones in every possible location to ruin your life'.
MARK: I swear, those orange cones are sentient. They move when you're not looking. One day a lane is open, the next it's a giant hole in the ground with three guys standing around it looking at a clipboard. The city says it's going to be amazing once it's done--better bus lanes, more trees, safer crossings--but right now, it's just a test of human patience.
JOLEEN: And I'm failing that test daily. If you're looking for something to do this weekend that doesn't involve sitting in traffic, we've got a few options. There's 'Slide Into Summer' on Friday night, which is basically a giant pool party to celebrate the fact that we're all about to melt. And then on Saturday, there's a 'K-Pop Kids Party' at Cornerstone Park.
MARK: A K-Pop kids party. I can't think of anything more chaotic than a hundred six-year-olds trying to do the choreography to a BTS song while their parents film it for Instagram. That park is going to be a war zone of glitter and high-pitched screaming. But hey, it's better than them being inside staring at an iPad, I guess.
JOLEEN: Don't be such a curmudgeon. It's cute. Briefly. For about five minutes until the first temper tantrum. Also, early voting starts this Saturday for the primary election. If you want to have the right to complain about the city council later, you've got to go out and vote now. It's at Cornerstone Park too, so you can vote and then watch the K-Pop chaos.
MARK: That's a very Henderson afternoon. Vote for a judge, buy some organic kale at the Farmers Market, and then watch a toddler do a dance routine. The Farmers Market is at Cornerstone on Saturday from 6 to 8 PM. It's a nice way to spend the evening, especially since the weather is finally starting to realize it's almost June.
JOLEEN: About that weather... we're in for a rough transition. Today's high is 79, which is basically perfect. But by Friday? We're hitting 101. It's like the sun just decided to skip the pleasant spring phase and go straight to 'incinerate' mode. We're going from 'light jacket' to 'don't touch the steering wheel without oven mitts' in four days.
MARK: It's the Nevada way. Why have a gradual change when you can just have a thermal shock? Tuesday's 85, Wednesday's 92, and then Thursday we're at 98. If you haven't checked your AC yet, you're an idiot. Do it today before you're calling a repairman on Friday and he's charging you a thousand percent markup because it's a hundred degrees outside.
JOLEEN: I already checked mine. I'm not a total disaster. But I do feel for the people who are going to the EDC festival this week. A hundred degrees in a crowd of people wearing neon fur boots and glitter? That's a recipe for mass dehydration. If you're going out, drink some water, for the love of god. And maybe some electrolytes.
MARK: Solid advice. Also, keep an eye on the wind. We've got some breezy afternoons coming, which is great for cooling off but terrible if you're trying to wear a hat or keep your trash cans from flying into the neighbor's yard. It's going to be a wild week in the city, but then again, when is it not?
JOLEEN: Never. It's always something. Whether it's mace at Costco or thirty-million-dollar condos, Henderson keeps it interesting. I'm just glad I get to talk about it with you, Mark. It makes the descent into a desert wasteland much more entertaining.
MARK: I appreciate that, Joleen. Truly. Even if your upbeat cynicism is starting to rub off on me. Before we go, a quick reminder that we're always looking for tips. If you see something weird on Water Street or if you catch someone doing something particularly stupid in a school zone, let us know.
JOLEEN: Send those stories to henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com. We love the gossip. And if you're the person who maced the Costco employee, please turn yourself in. You're making the rest of us look like amateurs, and quite frankly, it's embarrassing. Steal something worth the jail time next time, you dickhead.
MARK: She's not wrong. All right, that's it for us today. Thanks for listening to 'Happening in Henderson'. We'll be back later this week to talk about the Knights' first game against Colorado and whether or not the city melted into a puddle of asphalt. Stay safe, stay cool, and try not to get maced.
JOLEEN: Bye, Henderson! Try to be slightly less crazy for the next 48 hours. I know it's a lot to ask, but give it a shot. And go Knights!