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Join host Chantell Preston, a seasoned professional with over two decades of experience in healthcare operations, project management, and consulting, as she shares invaluable insights and lessons learned from navigating the complexities of career advancement and personal satisfaction.
Through candid conversations and expert advice, "Get Real, Get Results" serves as your go-to resource for achieving harmony between work and life without sacrificing well-being.
Learn more at: https://chantellpreston.com
It was a very emotional 3 days. I walked a lot. I cried a lot. I sat and did nothing. I didn't even know what to do with myself.
Speaker 1:For those of you that know me, knows that that's almost impossible for me to do, but I just wanted to feel every emotion that I was having.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Get Real, Get Results. I'm your host, Chantelle Preston. I've got over 2 decades of experience in healthcare operations, project management, and consulting. And I've navigated the dance of career advancement and personal satisfaction firsthand. Get Real, Get Results is your go to resource for navigating the complexities of a modern day success without sacrificing your well-being.
Speaker 2:So buckle up and get ready to challenge the status quo, shatter limiting beliefs, and embark on a transformative journey toward a more authentic, balanced, and fulfilling life. This is Get Real, Get Results,
Speaker 1:and I'm honored to have you join me. Hi, everyone. Thanks for joining us today. It's Chantelle Preston with Get Real, Get Results. We're gonna talk about today, we're gonna talk about worthiness and I'm gonna kinda take you on a little bit of a journey that I went on recently.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna become real vulnerable with everyone and talk a little bit about something that I experienced a couple months ago. As many of you guys have probably heard already that my mother unexpectedly passed away in November. I decided a couple months ago, I needed some time to myself. Didn't know what was going on with me. My emotions were all across the board.
Speaker 1:And I just decided I'm gonna take a few days and just go to my house in Colorado and just sit in my emotions. Now with that being said, I'm not sure really that I understood what Pandora's box I was gonna open up by doing this. I can't tell you the last time I have spent 1 night, 2 nights, 3 nights by myself with no friends, no family, no kids, nothing. It was really invaluable for me in so many different ways because I've really been trying to struggle figuring out why do I feel like my emotions are all across the board? Why do I feel like I'm I'm just treading water?
Speaker 1:I can't seem to get over what's happening and why. So I took this time to really go and do a deep dive in myself as to who am I, what's my new norm now that my mother's gone, you know, why is this impacting me so much. I can truly say I didn't have a respect for grief. I was very nonchalant with people about it. You know, my thought was, oh, life goes on as horrible as that sounds.
Speaker 1:That's kinda my mindset until it happened to me. And I realized just how impactful grief is and how there's really no path to follow, or it's not a consistent path for everyone. So I went to Colorado. I spent a lot of time by myself just trying to figure out what's what's my new norm. How can I be okay with everything that's happened?
Speaker 1:It was it was it was incredibly emotional, but one of the emotions that I felt that I didn't realize or hadn't up to this point was I was questioning my own worthiness. And I know that sounds really weird because everybody that knows me knows I'm a really positive. I'm always happy most of the time, individual that's always encouraging others, but here I was questioning my own worthiness. You know, everybody says, oh, you're so self confident. Well, I realize there's a difference between self confidence and self worthiness.
Speaker 1:Self confidence is, yes, I am very confident in my capabilities, my external capabilities, my traits, things I can do. But my internal worthiness is, am I really do I believe that I'm enough? Do I believe that I'm worthy of all the things that I I have, that I've been given, that I I achieved to have? And I really started to struggle with that. I didn't know I thought, well, I'm self confident, so that must mean I'm worthy.
Speaker 1:Well, then it hit me. I lost my number one cheerleader, meaning I always had my mom there. My mom was always the one telling me how worthy I was, how I deserved the things that I'd worked so hard for. And here I lost my number one cheerleader, so I had to become my own cheerleader and say, I am worthy, and these are the reasons why. And it was really uncharted territory for me in so many different ways because I was also struggling with why did this happen?
Speaker 1:Why did this have to happen so quickly? How was I going to continue on with some of these things that I wanted to do without my mother being around to encourage me and and help provide that worthiness for me? I dug really deep, and I know this is sounds really awkward, and I'm gonna become completely vulnerable with everyone. I just had to realize that I am worthy, and now I had to become my own cheerleader. I was worthy of the successes that I've had.
Speaker 1:I'm worthy of all those things that we question. And why do we question those things? Why do we feel like we aren't worthy? Is that, again, going back to our childhood where we told that as kids? Was that one of the lies that they told us that we weren't worthy enough?
Speaker 1:Did we grow up in a time where we felt like women were inferior or we couldn't achieve all of our goals and dreams? I don't know. I don't have the answer. I'll just be honest. I don't have the answer why we feel like that.
Speaker 1:But as I recognize that, it helped enable me to come up with my own thoughts of why I'm worthy, and what does that mean to me. I've questioned a lot about why has this come up now, and why is this incorporated with all the other emotions that I'm having? You know, grief grief is an amazing thing. I mean, one day, I'm great. The next day, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm sad. I'm happy. You know, we take for granted so many things in life. We sweat the small stuff. That's what I tell people all the time now.
Speaker 1:Don't sweat the small stuff because most of it is small stuff. We get so caught up on the little things. We forget about the overall bigger picture. You know, some of the things I can truly say that bring me peace at the end of the day is that my mom lived exactly how she wanted to live. And, frankly, she died exactly how she wanted to die.
Speaker 1:She went quickly. The last video I have of my mother is out with all of her friends, having a great time, laughing, enjoying life. And so, again, we forget that the little things just don't matter. She lived exactly how she wanted. She didn't let anyone tell her how to live her life, and therefore, that brought her so much fulfillment in every aspect.
Speaker 1:So I go back to why do we question these things within ourselves? We have self confidence. You know, I've never been lacking for self confidence. So let's go through this a little bit in regards to some takeaways as to how can we help build our own worthiness. What do we need to do to look at inside ourselves and say, hey.
Speaker 1:Look. I'm worthy of all these things that I'm able to achieve or all these things that I want. I want love. I want belonging. All the things that humanly, we need to survive and have complete fulfillment.
Speaker 1:So one of them is self confidence. You know, one of the things that I think has helped me so much is I am who I am. And and everyone that's probably knows me really well will say they've heard me say this, love me for who I am or don't love me at all. I don't really care because I'm not looking for external validation. I'm self confident in who I am and who I want to be, and I show it every day.
Speaker 1:I don't act differently over here versus over there. Now I might have done that when I was younger. Don't get me wrong. You know, we grew up in a different era, but now I got to the point where I took my mask off so I could live a life of authenticity and be one person. And whether you like me or not, I didn't really care.
Speaker 1:Now whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I don't know. I guess it depends on who you ask. I thought it was a good thing. Sometime I was too naive to even realize how I was coming across to people, but I was never lacking in self confidence. So I want you guys to look at yourselves and and think about what makes me great?
Speaker 1:What gives me that self confidence? And how do I present myself where I can just be me? And I think that's critical for all of us in today's age. I think we try so many things. We're told so many lies, social media.
Speaker 1:You know, we tell lies to ourselves. But at the end of the day, find your own place of your own self confidence of being who you want to be and who you are and be that every day with everybody. Then secondarily is growth. You know, I I I used to laugh because when people say, oh, I'm growing personal development. Also, I'm like, oh, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:I'm just focused on my job. I'm focused on this. You know, I'll get it all throughout those, you know, in those different realms. Over the last 3 years, I've really focused on personal growth, and that means learning new things, you know, getting out of my comfort zone, not living by fear all the time, but it was also reading tons of books. I love reading books.
Speaker 1:I've read more books in the last 2 years than I probably read in the last, I don't know, 40 some years. It's about how do I continue to grow as a person? You know, my thoughts earlier on in my life are very different than they are now. And I think as we continue to grow as people, we have to stop every once in a while and really do a self inventory. Are my values, are my, you know, things that I'm doing, are they helping me grow as a person?
Speaker 1:Do I need to find new hobbies? Do I wanna learn new things? You know what? I always got stuck in I'm too old. I'm too old to learn how to play the piano.
Speaker 1:I'm too old to do this. But why? Why are we limiting ourselves? So, again, I would really encourage all of you guys to go out and say, how can I grow? Now I'm hearing this other little, you know, birdie in the back of my head also say, when am I gonna have time to do that?
Speaker 1:Well, this goes back to taking care of yourself. You know, make that time so you can go learn to play pickleball with your friends because it's not just about, you know, you learning something new, but it's also that social interaction you're gonna get with people, whether they're your friends, whether they're new people. But, again, that sense of belonging, that community. So I would highly recommend look at that personal growth and write down a couple of things, even if it's not today or tomorrow, but over the next 6 months, 1 or 2 things that you wanna do to continue to grow as a person. And, again, when I say that, I'm not always talking about mentally growing.
Speaker 1:It could be learning a new hobby. It could be reading a book. It could be, you know, learning more about your emotions if that's the route you wanna go. But it could be anything, just growth as a whole. So I would encourage you to do that.
Speaker 1:And then lastly is contribution. You know, what am I contributing to something bigger than me? You know? Everybody asks me right now, why am I doing this? Why am I doing the podcast?
Speaker 1:Why am I potentially gonna write a book? Yes. I'm probably gonna write a book. Why am I going and speaking to people? Because I know that there's more out there, and I'm hoping to give back to a bigger cause.
Speaker 1:And that bigger cause that's bigger than me is helping other women empower themselves, live their best lives, understand that they're not alone. That's my contribution. And, again, some people may say, is that really a contribution? I think it is. Why?
Speaker 1:Because I'm giving my time. I'm giving my experience. And, hopefully, at the end of the day, it'll help somebody. And I have to tell you guys, I have been amazed in so many times with people coming back to me and saying thank you so much. I listen to you.
Speaker 1:I love this. I've heard this a few times. I listen to you on my way to work or on my way home, and it's like it's like having a conversation with you at lunch. And that is the biggest compliment in the world. And the reason why is because I feel like what I'm saying is being heard.
Speaker 1:And I love it when people say, thank you so much. I needed to hear that today. Because, again, we all go through these cycles of fulfillment, worthiness, all these things that our minds create. How do we calm them down and realize that, hey, you're not alone. You're not the only one.
Speaker 1:How can we help each other? If we're gonna live a life of fulfillment, how do we do that with without giving up our careers, without giving up our families, but and also not giving up on ourselves? How do we take the time to make sure that we feel worthy of who we are and that we deserve those things? I never thought the difference between self confidence and self worthiness. I thought it was 1 and the same.
Speaker 1:I didn't know they were even different until I took that trip to Colorado, and I really sat down and worked through the emotions that I was having. I read a lot of books. I did some worksheets, did some workbooks, trying to understand what was the underlying reason behind why I felt like I was stuck where I was, and that was, again, my self worthiness. I lost my number one cheerleader. I didn't have someone there every day telling me that I was worthy of the things that I achieved or the things that I deserved.
Speaker 1:I had to find that within myself. And I think a lot of us, we don't ever take the time to realize that. I think we're so used to having other people around us validate us that we don't look within. It sounds kinda woke. It sounds kinda cheesy at times even say me saying it, but it's true.
Speaker 1:And when I came back, again, it was a very emotional 3 days. I walked a lot. I cried a lot. I sat and did nothing. I didn't even know what to do with myself.
Speaker 1:For those of you that know me knows that that's almost impossible for me to do, but I just wanted to feel every emotion that I was having. And I realized the underlying issue that I had to become my own advocate again without thinking of anyone else. And so that's what I did. I want everyone to live the greatest life of fulfillment. And so self confident, you know, identify what are those traits that you have, that you're giving, that you know innately are yours, that make you who you are.
Speaker 1:Try something new, a hobby. Read a book. Take 10 minutes to yourself and just go walk around the block. Oh my god. Walking.
Speaker 1:Walking is my mental just clutch in every aspect. When I walk, not only do I feel better physically, I feel better mentally and actually probably more mentally than physically sometimes. And then thirdly, contribution. You know, we all need a purpose in life. I have a lot of guilt.
Speaker 1:I know I tell you guys not to have guilt, but I have guilt too about leaving my kids, especially when I'm doing something that is purposeful for me, meaning going and talking to a group, going and doing a TED talk, which may be coming out soon, I feel guilty. But at the end of the day, I know that it's gonna help more people, and it's contributing to something that's much greater than myself. And I went a little bit off the beaten path today. I wanted to share that story with you because I think everyone always thinks I'm in the most positive, happy person, but I want you to understand that sometimes I have those hard days too, and sometimes I need a break from everything to regroup. And that's okay.
Speaker 1:And I have to tell you, if you would have asked me 2 years ago, I would have never admitted that to anyone that I had all these big feelings that I didn't know what to do with. But I really felt like it was important to tell you guys because I wanted somebody else out there to say, hey. I sometimes do that too, and it's okay. So, again, sometimes we just have to find our new norm. Guys, thank you so much for, for listening in today.
Speaker 1:We've got more episodes coming. Have a great day. Again, we're not here to change your life. We just hope that you'll start to think about some things here and there and take some of our our takeaways and incorporate them into your life every day. So thanks for listening.
Speaker 1:You guys have a great day.
Speaker 2:Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Get Real, Get Results. Now get off your ass, get out there, and enjoy the life that you wanna live. We're here if you need guidance. And until next time, do your best, enjoy the small victories, and stay unstoppable. And don't forget to visit chantellpreston.com for coaching or keynote booking information.
Speaker 2:And remember, you have to get real to get results.