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Join Elena and Des as they return from a brief hiatus to dive into their Halloween-themed episode. They discuss costume ideas, share funny and dramatic Halloween stories from fans, and even touch on their personal fears. Expect laughter, unexpected turns, and some serious discussions about crazy haunted house experiences, Jerry Springer memories, and cosplay creativity. Don't miss the fun and spooky vibes in this engaging episode!
00:00 Welcome Back! Where Have We Been?
00:40 October Vibes: Costumes and Halloween Plans
02:22 Phantom of the Opera and Other Scary Characters
03:10 Siri, Maps, and Morgan Freeman
08:23 Halloween Stories and Party Fails
13:41 Drinks Gone Wrong: Pumpkin Spice Punch Disaster
22:12 Relationship Drama: Halloween Edition
32:47 Apartment Life and Halloween Plans
33:20 Excitement for Future Halloween
34:27 Halloween Costumes and Candy
38:41 Pumpkin Carving Drama
40:53 Jerry Springer and Relationship Drama
45:47 Halloween Fears and Stories
49:32 Cosplay and Furry Culture
01:00:03 Final Thoughts and Advice
Creators and Guests
What is Digress with D and E?
Welcome to Digress with D & E, where Des and Elena answer your questions, share your stories, and talk about whatever comes to mind. We keep things fun, honest, and a little unpredictable with our takes on random topics and whatever else catches our attention—no script, no filters—just real conversations with plenty of detours along the way. Send us your stories, and we’ll break them down with our thoughts (and probably some side commentary).
009 - Digress
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​[00:00:00]
Welcome back to another Love video. That's another episode of us. Sorry, we've been gone for two whole episodes. Yeah. Your bitch was sick. We were both sick. Um, we were gone. Sick and tired of this world. Sorry. Sick and tired of your bullshit. Nah, I was actually sick. So we're back with another video.
Mm-hmm. And guess what? It's October. October. Woo. Cue the ghost. You're not the ghost there. Oh, I'm I? No, I thought I was the ghost. Okay. Are okay now. I'm wearing like the white shirt. Anyway, it is [00:01:00] October. It is a season of scare, of Boo of Doom, of, and I'm so excited. We need to talk about costumes that we're gonna be doing for the next few episodes because I will, we will be doing costumes, whether Dez likes it.
I'll be in my PJ's. No wrong. I'm gonna dress up as Dez going to bed.
No. Um, I think what we're gonna do, I think we, I think the next one they always say, I look like, um, art of Clown, or is that his name? It's Art The Tarif. Fire Theier. Yep. Which is crazy statement. Do can I get a side by side? Do I look like the clown? I don't think that I do. Um, so what, so I'll do that. And you have to be a, a villain, a scary villain.
Who are you gonna be?[00:02:00]
Can you, I made up yours. You have to make up mine. Oh, I have to make up yours. Ooh. My favorite one is Leatherface. That's scary. Leatherface is my favorite, like classic horror one, but I think. I think you could do Ghost Face or wait, no, because I wanna be able to like see you. Um, I don't know. Ones that don't like wear a full on mask.
The Phantom, he's not really the font. He's not, he's not really a criminal ain't sleep. He is saying to me, wait, it depends on what perspective you're looking on. If he's a criminal or not. I don't know. I think he was pretty, I mean he done kidnapped a girl, took her to the catacombs. It was all for love, sing for me,
it was all for love. Every time someone's like sing I, in my head it's like phantom going like yessing for me. Yeah. Doing crazy shit. I'm like, damn. He was kind stressing me out there. I don't know why she was listening to him. I hate when people tell me what to [00:03:00] do. Um, you gonna listen to someone that has half a freaking face and a mask and he is like big as hell.
Fuck. And he's looking at you like, fuck, nah. Why are you sing for me? Well, why are you telling me what to do, bro? I don't like that shit. We're different people. I literally, nah, I turn off, I turn sir ass off in maps because I can't stand when she tells me what the fuck to do she does Sometimes she'll go past a turn because it tells her to turn.
I don't like, I'm like, why the fuck? Why are you telling me where to go it serious? Who do think you are? It's serious. Literally serious job. I told her to change her voice in Siri to her voice and then she'd listen to it. I probably wouldn't even listen. I would, I would probably be like, even worse, Elena, you stupid bitch.
Why the fuck are you telling me where to go? I would probably be like, mm-hmm. There's probably no one I could put on there that I would be like, yeah, okay, I'll listen. Like, except for God. So when I hear the voice of God, I'll make it my Siri thing. But um, there's probably, you can do Morgan free. I was gonna say I can.
Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is hundred percent, uh, Savage Mode too. Morgan [00:04:00] Freeman was on it. Actually. I've talked about Morgan Freeman a lot the past few days is actually crazy at the bar I'm at constantly. Um, they've been talking to me about Morgan Freeman and it's just like quite interesting. Like we were talking about the end of Savage Mode too.
21 Savages album where he's like, um, at the end of every single song and he like, just spits some words of wisdom. He's like, yeah. The evil man envys the good in others. And that means it's just pretty cool. Um, yeah. So you know what? That's actually a good idea. I think I might make it Morgan Freeman. I might listen to that.
Or I'll be like, shut the fuck up Morgan Freeman. Why the fuck are you telling me to turn right at the light? No. And then I turn left or go straight. Um, she'll do anything but what it says, I make a U-turn. Fuck the shit. Yeah. I'm like, why are you telling me anyway? I don't know. Uh, you're, you have to dress up as, um, oh my God.
I wanna be like a troll. A troll. Just like from the movie. No, I want, no. I wanna be a troll from like, not a scary [00:05:00] troll. I'm gonna be trolls from the kids' movie. I don't like scary shit. That's what I meant, like the Trolls movie. Why would it be something scary? Well, if I have to be art a clown. If I have to put on a bald cap up in this bitch and be Arthur Clown, you're gonna, you're gonna pull up all that weave in that cap.
Your cat's gonna be No, since I'm Arthur Clown bitch, you're gonna be Pennywise up in here. I'm not putting up with that. That'd be fire. Actually. That'd be pretty fire. I'm not, I'm so scared of Pennywise. Nah, you gotta be Pennywise. I was so scared and I'm No, I'm doing it real. I'm doing it realistic.
Especially like the newer version where he like goes in the tunnel and then he's like, I hate Georgie. And then his freaking mouth opens and it's like, yeah. Yeah. It's scary. I move, I go to the other side of the road when there's drinks. I mean, I ain't mad at it. I mean, he's probably just really misunderstood.
My boy had been in a sewer sewer his whole life. You know, like, I'd be irritated too. He eats kids. Yeah, that, I mean that. We don't really like that. At least eat adults. Dude, you know what I, the kids alone, [00:06:00] you know what? I agree. I feel like when I go to watch scary movies, if it has anything kid related, I'm like.
I know like, but if it's like adult, I'm like, yeah, kill him. Kill him. See at least Art The clown kills adults. He kills kids too. Does he? I don't remember that part. I remember very vividly I was taking my girlfriend, who was not my girlfriend at the time, to watch our first movie together. And it was the Terrifi and it was the Christmas version.
And literally like scene one, they're decapitating kids on Christmas. Oh, oh. And like the mom ones in and his arms are like everywhere in his head. It was scary. Well, I didn't remember that part of Arthur Clown. I just know Pennywise pretty much only kills like mostly kids. He only kills coats. And I'm like, all right, that's a little, he goes for their youth.
Ugh. A little. Ugh. Okay. I just, I don't like scary movies with kids. Killing. Yeah, that shit stresses me out. I feel like there are none that don't, or you know what? Scream, I feel like there's not kids getting [00:07:00] killed. Never looking for kids. Yes. Okay. Okay. Fact, check that. 'cause I'm not sure. Fact check. I don't know either.
I'm just pretty sure it's like, from what I remember. No, you know what, there might be teenagers though that counts. Teenagers don't matter. Like they count as adults. Teenagers, no teenager. Lives matter, bro. I'm talking about children like, like 15 and under, 15 and under. I said what I said. What's your age group?
You're like adults. What's my age group? I don't, yeah. Are you saying like what's adults like 18 and older or, honestly? Honestly, 20 and older. Then they'll get to that bratty stage once they get 15, so I can't stay. It's like, alright, art the clown, come on, piss me off tonight. You, you get mad at your kids when they're 15.
You make me dress up as Arthur the Clown. Okay. That's trauma. I know. That's actually really bad. I wouldn't do that. That's a load of trauma. I would feel really bad doing that. I would be like, oh, you'd be laughing. I would laugh, but I would feel bad. Bad the whole time. [00:08:00] No, I would feel bad, but I would be laughing.
I would laugh in the moment and then I'd be like, oh shit, I just traumatized. That was fucked up. Yeah. I just gave them, they're never sleeping in the dark again. Yeah, no. They're like, fuck. Oh no. Never trusting your ass. Yeah, true. Well, I would make sure they did not know it was me. I'd tell em, I'd be like, that was Elena actually.
They would be like, what the fuck? All right. All right. All right. Halloween, we have Halloween themed stories that I've been wanting to tell for the whole time we've been doing this podcast. Um, and I haven't been allowed to cut back to every single fucking time I've ever told her. Ever. Can we please do the Halloween thing?
I'm making this really hard on him. Cutbacks. No, I don't actually wanna do that ghost. I'm not, no, I'm not actually trying to do that. I'm just, I ghost. No, I'm mean like terrify. No, I'm like, no. I'm like, people, they need to do it themselves. I want them to imagine it. You don't have to do any of that. That can be completely blank.
I want these people to know what's going on in [00:09:00] my head, so I'm, you know what? Every single time I've ever said it. You the viewer take time out of your day to find it. No, I'm kidding. Actually, they just watch it right now. I get poker, I'm like, yeah girl, girl doing for entertainment. Not for that. Yeah. Well if you've seen the other ones, you know I've been wanting to do them.
So she has been, and I've been stopping her because it was not even October. It was not even September. September yet the fucking pumpkin spice latte was out. That's good enough. It wasn't even September when you asked the pumpkin spice latte was out. That's good enough. It came out August 26th. The leaves were still on the trees.
They still are now. Exactly. We are in North Carolina. Exactly. They is bipolar as fuck over here. You know what I was, um. I was somewhere this morning and my car was parked outside. Mm-hmm. And, and there were like pine leaves that fell on my car. And I was like, that's so nice. 'cause like that means it's like fall.
It's like the little orange pine. You know what I mean? I was like, Ugh. I [00:10:00] love that. It's fall. It's nice. All right, let me read this story. Why are you doing that? I'm just staring. Why are you looking at me like that? Most, I was thinking about the pine needles truth. I haven't had time to debrief with her about personal matters, uh, today.
So she's just mentally telepathically beating me up. Literally. I'm reading her mind anyway. Um, so I'm gonna read this. Okay. I'm gonna read this. Is this like scary, scary? No, this is like juicy, like drama. Drama. Okay. So it Drama. Scary. Like drama. Drama. Okay. I'm good with that. Okay. I went to this house party dressed as a witch. Everyone kept saying, oh God, your costume looks so real. Like, how did you do your makeup? Your hands look so bony. Your skin looks so great. Like you killed me.
I just laughed it off. But when I went to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror, I realized I hadn't even put any makeup on.[00:11:00]
Imagine walking in and people think I'm it, and I ain't even it, bro. I ain't gonna lie. That shit that be happening to me. I, they'd be like, they'd be like, oh. You look a little dead. Yeah, they do. They do. Do they not do that to me? They'll be like, you lost almost a lot of weight. You know, you're kind of skins and bones at this point.
Every time I walk into my job that I used to work at to go see Dez, literally I'll walk in and they'll be like, where'd you go? Where'd you go at? I, I can't see you. They're like, oh my God, you're literally, and she's like, they're like, oh, you look like a little chicken bone, little drumstick. I'm like, oh.
I'm like, please. So now I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get a five orders of fries and 12 burgers. Please add a cheesecake in there. So honestly, I have no fucking sympathy for you. Don't care now, girl, I'm, that was, that does suck. But I actually have no, I don't know what else to say to you. Like, I mean, they kind of went in like, how did you do your makeup?
Your hands look so bony. Your skin looks so gray. And [00:12:00] she's just like, it's me. Hi. Like, your skin looks gray is crazy.
Oh, sorry. Stop being mean to people even though you didn't know girl coming from you. I know. Stop being mean to people literally like all the time. But you know what, I don't let anyone be fucking mean to Dez I last night. That's true. I went and saw her at work. Um, 'cause I was picking up my other friends so we could go to the, but um, yeah, and she was chilling there and um, I don't know what that girl, what'd she say to you?
Oh, we were talking shit. Yeah, they were just like talking shit back and forth, as I always do. If you know me, I'm gonna talk some shit for funsies. Nah. And I usually start it and I think I started it last night. That's fine. She can start it. She can talk shit. I don't if they're in front of me. Elena jumps in.
Nah, bro. And I'm like, oh my God. I gotta, I gotta show her. We're joking. I'm like, only, only, only me and Hadley can be mean to you. And honestly, not even Hadley because y'all are dating. Yeah. Only I can be. We're never mean to you because [00:13:00] that's my boob beer. Yeah. They're like. In love and shit. I'm not, and I'm bitter, so I'm allowed to be mean.
But everyone, yeah. When people at my or at the restaurant be like, bitch it, I'm like, I didn't say it. I don't care. Decipher what you want from that. I don't care. Um, when people they're like, mean to you, it pisses me off. I'm like, bro, that's my job. Who the fuck are you? I'm like, what? Who are you to talk shit?
It is my job to talk shit. Shit. 'cause then what if they like steal one of my like what? I, one of my lines, like, I say something, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna talk shit to Des. I'm gonna say this today. And then they say it and then they say it and then you can't say it. I'm like, bitch, what the fuck? Okay.
Okay. Okay. Next. Next story. So I'm at this Halloween, get together and my friend offers me what she swears is her famous pumpkin spice punch. I take one sip and instantly spit it out. It wasn't pumpkin spice at all. It was straight vodka with cinnamon sprinkled on top. Bitch, that's fireball. My throat was on [00:14:00] fire and everyone was laughing at me choking like I was in a horror movie.
Oh, it's a get outta it. Okay, but what does that mean? Choking? Like I'm in a horror movie. Like, that was a bad analogy. I have a better one. I know, that's what I'm saying. Cue the, no, no.
I started at, like, I, I started when I like do the reels, when I like make them, I started putting pictures on it and in the other one it was so funny, it was like a, she put a, she said like, imagine one hand. 'cause we were talking about the sex robots and she was like, I just imagine one hand as a vibrator and one hand as a rose, you and I put 'em on her hand and then wait.
So I was like going in my camera roll to show someone something and they were like. What the fuck is, why is holding a vibrator on a rose at the same No, it wasn't that. It was the picture that I screenshot to put over your hand. So it was just a picture of a vibrator and a rose like side by side in between like a [00:15:00] bunch of clips.
And I was like, you what you need to know. Sorry. Oh yeah. I was like, mind your business, bro. And oh, someone commented on that. I actually thought it was a really interesting comment, but it was like, you know what's crazy is our minds auto automatically went to like female pleasure uhhuh for that. But most, that's probably not, it probably does not cater to women at all.
It's just like a sex robot. It's probably just got a hole and stuff. Well, why? Like a co shit. We make the shit sex robots that wanna cater to women. I would just, I'm just like 1000% sure that's that they don't exist. You. That's why reader, yeah, that is, that is my signal box that, but someone comes to that.
You can have the weird female looking ones. They were like, it's crazy that you guys automatically thought like women pleasure. And I'm like, we're just around. Women. We're women. We were just women. I'm like, oh, we're women. Yeah, I think. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck. I'm not telling. I think I got no one.
What they ilic and dice up at me. Oh. I'm not telling no one what they are. Um, 'cause you can get in trouble for that. I'm not gonna be a part of that. I don't want to be a part of [00:16:00] that. All right. So how do you feel about her choking on her punch? I was like, okay, girl. Um, first of all, y'all rude as hell.
They said, let me, one of the girls had one job and she fucked up the job. She was like, yeah, I know how to make cinnamon punch. Yeah. My famous, my famous pumping spice punch. It's fucking like, what? I'm trying to think. Like, Tito's in that bitch, bro. Tito's and straight. I mean, the gallon by the gallon, Tito's cinnamon.
That's it. And then they could have just got Fireball. That's what I just, that's what I said. That's whiskey. Why not just get Fireball? That's whiskey and what? Fuck whiskey. I would rather drink vodka. Vodka is beautiful. Oh no. I can't even smell Fireball anymore. I will fucking up Chuck. I used to take that shit down like it was water.
I'm talking like I was like this shit. Or a pink Whitney. Ah. That shit will have me on the ground to this day. Just say, I haven't heard that [00:17:00] shit forever. I will fucking up Chuck. I'm old. She, I ain't saying shit. And it's old terms. And she's like, well, okay granny. No, I just haven't heard that in so long.
It caught me very off guard. I liked it. I don't you you liked up Chuck? I mean, in that moment, yeah. I liked up choking because, okay, so then I got all that alcohol outta my stomach. I will fucking up Chuck.
I was pronouncing it correctly. It's just funny. I'm just gonna fucking throw up all over the floor, man. Yeah, that's how I would imagine you, that's how you would've said it. But I said it up Chuck. No, I would say I'm in a fucking yak. I always say yak. See that's country terms for it is that is Yak country.
I was about to fucking yak last night, man. I think up Chuck is more country than Yak. Wait is up Chuck, like a word. I don't know. I swear I've heard it before. And you just like unlocked a memory of Chuck. No, pink. Whitney is [00:18:00] crazy. I, I had some on my, no, no underage drinking. I had some before in my life and a lot of it, and I can no longer do Pink Whitney.
That shit is like a bottle. That shit was like, I could do Fireball though. I can't smell it. Like literally I, I'm like. Oh, oh, I didn't like that. That was kind of realistic. That was, I thought about it. I would've been like, right. Let's catch this. Oh no, don't catch it. 'cause then I'm gonna throw up just because I see you catching it.
I don't want it to get places. I got sensitive stomach. I would've been like, I would've been like, oh, I don't want that to get on anything. She's just like, in my, in my bag. I'm fucking somebody get a bag. It's okay. I would be like, ah, run backwards. She's like. I don't, it's okay. You got it here. I don't care about stuff like that.
Listen, you know that there was a trend that was going around on TikTok and it was like, TMI, like I would literally like bleach your asshole if you wanted me to. I feel like I could relate to [00:19:00] every single one of those that they're putting out there. Are we talking like what we do to our partner or are we talking about No, just like homies, homegirls.
I, I don't care. Hell no. I'm not bleaching my fucking homies butt crap, bro. I don't give a crap if they, if they really need it, that's like ala to bend over. Lemme get the bleach real quick, bro. Even not you. That's what I'm saying. I'm not bleaching your ass crack bro. No, not you, but like, I would cry the girl, bro.
It literally, it literally was like a bunch of girls and they were like, like it's not TMII would literally do this for you. Like some girl was like, I would literally reach in and get your diva cup if it was stuck up in there. And I was like, I mean, shit. That's a real homie. That's a real friend. That's a real fucking, I'm not that good of a friend, friend, but I've just never given, like, I was reading those and I was like, I mean, that's not too bad.
You got what? Blood in your hoo-ha. Wow. And you want me to grab that shit? I don't know. It's like I feel like I barely wanna grab mine. Yeah, true. That is true. Anyway, how I feel specifically all from that subject, how I feel specifically about this, um, vodka thing is you need to not ever make anything for a [00:20:00] party ever again.
Yeah. If you do, whoever fuck made it, fuck you. Don't let it be a drink because really? Okay, pumpkin spice. Fucking what? Pumpkin spice punch. How do we go about making that? Like all we had to do is literally get like a pumpkin flavored moaning. Which is like a flavored drink beverage that the vodka, maybe some apple cider in there.
Little apple cider. Cinnamon. Then you can add the cinnamon. The problem with cinnamon, oh, I'm so sorry. And a liquid is what happens. They don's all, it floats from the top. It floats on the top. Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with that. If it's like cutey cinnamon sticks. Why can't I do anything? Why, why can't I cinnamon sticks?
Why can't I literally do anything? I can't. Okay. So my personal recipe would be, um, they're over here chugging it. Mine's like worse than this story. My recipe is actually, um, pumpkin puree. So I was gonna say that. I was [00:21:00] gonna say pumpkin puree. I was gonna make, I would make it like a little, like little, uh, chunky.
You know, a little pumpkin puree, so it looks the same when it goes in as it comes out. Oh, why? Because that's what the fuck would happen. No, I don't know. I don't know. Listen, pumpkin puree in there. Vodka, mostly vodka. And then. I would do cinnamon as well. Good. Good tip There. Some apple cider vinegar. Not vinegar?
Yes. Apple cider. Oh, this shit is tasting fucking whack and then a pickle. Oh. I think that'd be delicious. And I'm bringing it to the, to the someone Make it like what we just said and try it. No, we should do that. Actually. We should try it. Yeah. Once again, I'm not trying it 'cause I don't drink. Oh. She's gonna fucking try it.
I, you, you know what? Your club night, I'm gonna pull up to the pregame with my pumpkin spice. Well I will, I'm not drinking that shit. You will. I'm not drinking that shit. You will be drinking it. I will. I literally will not drink it. You don't get free [00:22:00] will. I'm here. Not now. That's what that, that person said.
You don't get free will. I know this was actually about me. This, that story was actually about me. Yeah. That's fucking disgusting. No it wasn't. Um.
One year. My boyfriend at the time begged me to do a couple's costume. He wanted us to go as a vampire and as victim. I spent money on a whole dress, fake blood, jewelry, everything. We walk into the party and immediately he ditches me. I'm standing there covered in fake bite marks while he is off drinking with his friends.
The worst part I find out later, he took another girl into the photo booth and posed with her like she was the victim girl, get a new boyfriend. Whatcha talking about? She said she left the party crying, dragging her cape on the ground like some tragic soap opera character. This is so funny. Um, no, it's not funny.
That's fucked up that that happened to you. I don't, I don't like, I'm sorry, I'm laughing at the way that that was described. Not at the [00:23:00] situation. Yeah. Slowly dragging across the floor. Y'all write like Wattpad. Yeah, bro. Like fan fiction. Shit. Fan fiction. I'm like, mm. Yeah, but nah. Um, so kill him. Allegedly.
Don't do that. Just kidding. Stab his tires with a knife, but only three, three. Break up with him. Oh, for that. I mean, you Yeah, I mean, if you wanna take break up, break up with him and find a batter man. A batter man. Like a, a hotter man, or like bad. Why can't I say words? Everyone knows what I meant. Like No, I'm just, I'm just elaborating.
So I think that what she, what you would you should do is you should literally go take the teeth out of his mouth. His vampire teeth, not his real teeth. I'm like, oh, we did this. No, no, we did. Oh shit. Well, lemme tell you something. How much you charging take teeth? Nah, [00:24:00] no, no. Like the vampire teeth. Like take them or like, you'd probably find 'em anywhere.
It's Halloween. And then go find another dude in a group who's dressed up as something like stupid, like, I don't know, like fucking like. Like, you know when dudes dress up like, I don't know, shaggy or something, like find someone dressed up as something like, like a normal and then put teeth in their mouth.
And then you have a new vampire, new man. So now you have a shaggy? Yeah. Vampire, vare Shaggy? Yeah. Or like, I don't know, like dudes will be like, they'll like put on a mask, like just take the mask off and put the teeth on. Or you should go suck another man's bleep, bleep with his vampire teeth and then put it back in his mouth.
Oh wow. Wow. You went from like zero to 100 on that one. Bam. I thought murder was pretty bad, but that's insane. That's put them teeth right back in and go. I'll see you later, Raven. Oh my God. Well, he was with a whole nother girl, like, that's annoying. I said what? I said so do it. I No get with no, get with the girl.
No. 'cause then he's gonna be like, do some [00:25:00] meth, honey. I know. I hate when dudes are like, you know, it's so much more refreshing when dudes like, I, I'm not bi, I'm Elena. But like, I'm, I've dated women and men and it's so much more refreshing when a dude is like, disgusted by it than when they're like, oh, that's so hot.
I'd rather you be homophobic. Yeah, no, at me. Yeah. I would rather them not, not discussed by it, like homophobic, but like protective about it. You know what I mean? Like, even if you fuck a girl that's cheating, some are like, man, that ain't cheating. I'm like, girl, I'll literally watch, turn your girl inside out and she will never speak to you again.
Damn. What the fuck are you talking about? Mean, because that's like, okay. That's how like, if I'm like, um, hanging out with like a home girl and she'll like be like, oh my God, you're so like hot today. Like, uh, or like flirt with me, like joke, flirt with me. Like if I have a dude that's like, ah. Ah. Get away.
Get get. I saw one video where a girl was like talking about how she was watching a movie and she like said one of the girl characters was hot and he literally turned it off and went in the other room because he was offended. Like, that's [00:26:00] so much more refreshing than dudes being like, let's have so hot.
Like, I like that. You like women steered her ass together. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, I don't like that shit. I'm not, not a fan. Not a fan. All right, next story. Me and my friends had this whole plan to do a group costume, Scooby-Doo characters. I didn't even know that. That was kind of funny. I was Velma naturally.
Everyone promised they'd commit. But on the night of only two of us actually dressed up, the others came in random last minute costumes. So instead of looking like a cute group, I looked like some Lost cos player hanging out with a frat party girl. I still cringe every time I see those pictures pop up in my memories.
But who was the other character that, 'cause it was two, right? So like obviously Velma and then who else? Because I feel like, okay, it's not as weird if it's like Velma and Shaggy 'cause like yeah, baggy for Life. I shit that [00:27:00] shit. She just, did you just like hyphenate their names too? Yeah. Baggy, Velma and Shaggy.
Sounds like Vagina or Shema? Baggy. She like baggie. I ship it. I baggie for when, when I was, when I was a kid, I would watch The Mysteries ink, the mystery ink version of Scooby-Doo because it gave me so much, um, Shema, so much baggy content. And you know what she like made him pick between her and Scooby.
At one point I was like, Ooh girl, that was not smart. That was not smart. I don't know. I'm definitely choosing my dog over. Some bitch with glasses. I mean, I mean look, I think that um, uh, so that story, it depends who the other character was. Or like if it was like Velma and like Daphne, that's kind of cute.
But then if it's like Velma and Fred, it's like that doesn't make any fucking sense. Nobody like Fred or like Velma and Scooby doesn't make sense either. Yeah. Fred was like, dude, just shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, dude. Fred pissed me off. I meet guys like that all the time and I'm like, Ugh, we must split up.
Shut the fuck up. [00:28:00] Me and t we'll go this way. Y'all figure it out. Like, I really like to set Traps. Traps. Wait. I might be Fred. I might be Fred. I was gonna say, I think you am I Fred. You might be Fred. I might be Fred Bitch. I don't know what the fuck. I don't, I'm, I'm honestly, do you guys remember the one like, uh, Aqua character?
I think that's me, came out of the water. Like, ugh, the fucking, the fucking, and then he took off the mask and it was a human. Yeah. Yeah. Well that always is. I know. Except no, except on the live action movie. Oh, that one was so good. Shaggy was so hot in the live action movie of Scooby-Doo. Bro, your eyes just did the craziest shit I've ever seen.
Like they, I don't know. Just, I kid you not, I wish y'all could have seen that. Like maybe y'all did, but those bitches went, sorry. I was thinking about Shaggy and then like, they both went like in at the same time and then they like pulled back. [00:29:00] Okay. Anyway, sh uh, what is that actor's name? He was in Scream two.
I drink my girl's water. He was in Scream two, or no? Yeah, he was in Scream as well. I need to know who this actor's name is. The, the, you know who I'm talking about. I know who you're talking about. Um, so hot. So hot. I can't des sold me a poster of Shaggy and Scooby from the Spooky Island. You, I sold it like I wasn't gonna give it to you.
And then she was like, no, I'm gonna pay for it. And I was like, no. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, you don't have to pay for it. And she was like, no, I'm gonna pay for it. Yeah. Well she was planning on selling it and I'm not just gonna take it like that's. I sell it. And then Where'd you put it? Sell it. I gave it to my dad.
Well, so that, and every time I go over there, I'm like, dad, that's Shaggy. And he's like, Elena, shut up. Yeah. Shaggy's holding Scooby, isn't he? Yeah. He's like, he's like, yous, yous, that was good. Yeah. Or zoos s or is it zoos? Scooby, is it zoos or Ys? S is, uh, that one guy who's on Instagram who like goes barefoot in the [00:30:00] Everglades and like picks up the fucking snakes.
Yo, yo. I know. And it's like a fucking 50 foot, giant Python. Python. Like just grabs the bitch with his bare hands. Like, and he's like, look at that one. Oh, look at this. I caught a fucking 1 million foot long snake. Um, and it's like literally about to kill him. And he is like, uh, but you know what? He's getting bit.
He's like, oh, you're just a cute little thing. I'll put you back. Literally. Or it's like a fucking tarantula, like the size of his head. He is like, Hey everyone, look at this really cool little spider I found. And it's like, and that bitch is like. Yeah, that's what he's
low key. I want that life though. Yeah. I wish I had the balls to do some shit like that. I'm not reaching my hand in no damn dark water and expecting something not to eat that shit. Or he'll be like the swamp puppies and it's like 60 alligators staring at him like, and they're all like, it's dark. And they're like, yeah.
Oh my God. That with the Peter Pan one, uh, like when he was coming after the Captain hook, this sound, he danced, he danced [00:31:00] across the water. Like that shit's so funny. Oh, his eyes was popping. Yeah. Yes, yes. Like a clock. Yeah. Yes. And then he was like, captain Hook was like, let me, uh, let me not do that. I actually really like the theme today of us just talking about random, like movies and shit to make it me really happy.
It was supposed to be scary and then it went, went straight to something crazy because that's what happens. Wasn't, it wasn't supposed to be scary. It's just supposed to be Halloween themed. Rewind it back. She does this all the time. Run back. No. She'd like, that's not what we were supposed to talk about.
Okay, listen. And then we rewind it back and listen. That's what she said. Scary stories. Listen. Listen. Okay. So I put one of those bowls that says, take one and set up a ring camera to catch the kids being cute. Except it wasn't kids. It was my neighbor's 30-year-old boyfriend. He'd dump the whole bowl into his backpack in under 30 seconds.
In under 30 seconds, I posted a video in our neighborhood Facebook group and everyone freaked out. Now my neighbor and her boyfriend are basically blacklisted from HOA events and I'm the snitch of the [00:32:00] neighborhood worth up. Okay? Not gonna lie. If you see me coming in your neighborhood for Halloween, hi Bowl hija, Halloween bowls, bro.
I'm good. All right. I wait till like eight o'clock hits and then I walk back and I'm like, get that one. I'm gonna get that one. And we're dumping candy man. Your kids will remember that forever. That's like actually really fire. I'm not gonna lie, it's, but I wait till the last, like I make sure everyone gets their candy and then when everyone's gone and I'm the only one in the neighborhood, you're like, I'm walking right back, and they let their stuff on the porch.
It's, that's what it is. I don't get why they do that. I think the fun part of being an adult, like I'm so excited when I get a home. I mean, right now I'm in an apartment. I'm in a, I'm in like a highrise apartment, so like, I don't think they're gonna be like sugar. Do you, do they door to door in apartments?
I don't think they do that. It's like a weird, it's kind of weird. I've don't never done it. Don't, I don't know any of my neighbors or anything. Right. Like, I'm like, what do I stand [00:33:00] out my apartment door with a bowl? Like nobody comes. Do they have kids? I don't. I I don't know if these people have kids apartment.
No. There is one person on my floor that, because I hear them like when they're going down the hallway and they're like, I'm not mad at it. Like, period. Have kids do your thing, populate the earth, I guess. Like slay, I'm sorry, slay. I just know that they exist. Um, but I am actually so excited to be like in a, at a house with a porch and sit in the front and I'm gonna wear like a feel.
I'm gonna like get in full character. Like do like a costume, like a little witch or something. Like, ah, you want a, you want the trick or treat? No. Do you want a candy? Come get it, rah. I'm gonna be so excited. There was this one guy in the neighborhood I go to, I'm not telling you what name I to go into, but there's this one guy.
He pretends to be like the chair and he's like a ghost sitting in the chair. And then soon as the kids come, he'll and it scares everyone, including me. That's how I'm trying to be when I'm in, when I'm like in a home [00:34:00] with a porch giving out candy, does it have to have the porch or can it just like, no, I really think I'm gonna move.
Yeah, they might not have a porch, but somewhere where there's a front door and people trick or treat, I will be decking that bitch out and there will be a cauldron with smoke and the candy's gonna go in the smoke cauldron. So I'm like, reach into my cauldron to get your candy. You see why I think she reminds me of the terrify.
I can't wait. Did anybody see that? I like theater. They saw it. I'm aware. Was scary that this exists forever. I can't, like if were dressed as the fucking terrifi or something doing that shit, I would cry. Okay. That was scary. Dope. But. I think it would be really cool to, I don't know. I like theater and shit.
That'd be so fun. You could, I would dress up, would, I'm gonna come to your house, but I'm literally, I'm going before you get dressed up, I'm still in all your candy. Know the fuck you. Now you gotta go re-up at Dollar Tree. I gotta re-up at Dollar Tree with my witch costume. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be like, I'm taking your candy.
They're like, take it. [00:35:00] I'm stay in character all day. I'm gonna wake up at 6:00 AM to ensure that she doesn't do this. You're at the coffee shop in your witch costume. Yep. They're like, that's fine. That's fucking terrifying. No, I think it's, I think it's wonderful. And you know what, I'm gonna be up at 6:00 AM and I am going to be sitting there ready for you to try to come steal my candy.
I'm gonna be at the door. I'm just gonna go to Walmart and buy me a bag for 9 94 because mm-hmm I'm, I ain't playing with people here. I didn't get that. I want to hand candy out somewhere. Well just stand outside the building. I'm gonna be like on like fucking, I, I live on like Fayetteville Street. It's literally, why the fuck would you say that?
I don't give a fuck. I, what are they gonna do? Come find me. Yay. Can find me, bitch. Sorry. Someone like, they can try to, try to, dude, imagine someone entering my home to try to like, and they're like, do something. I'm gonna answer the door. Like, what do you want? Yeah. She's fucking crazy, bro. I don't care. [00:36:00] But anyway, I live like in the smack of downtown.
If I like go outta my building, I'm just like on the street with candy. That's what I'm saying. Stand out there. That's kind of weird. The people walking on the street will Thank you. Yeah. They'll be like, you want a candy? You want a candy? Nice. Or just go someone's neighborhood and standing at the front of it, they won't even know.
Oh. Like someone's house. Like the lights are off. I'm like, sorry, I'm serving candy here today. Yeah. I like, how do you pretend? How do you know the Wilson's? Oh, um, I'm their grandma. Yeah. I actually gave birth to the people that gave birth to them. That's me. That's who I'm, I'm a witch.
I'm sorry. I get really excited to do like costume stuff, obviously. You know what I like is those houses that make like hot dogs and shit. Nah, because why the fuck are you handing me a hot dog to put in my pillowcase? No, it's like for the parents, they'll have like beers and a cooler and then they'll have like beer, the hot dogs.
And I'm like, Ooh, I don't know about [00:37:00] hot dogs, but I fuck with the alcohol. Keep that with your trick or tree stash. Don't give it to children. Give it. Well, duh. But give it to me. Give it to me. I will be there. Okay. Well I wanted the hot dog. Perfect. So that works out. I'm like, someone's gonna want a hot dog.
So you get two hot dog. I mean, you get a hot dog and a beer. I get a hot dog and a beer. And we, Tracy, you take two beers. Yes. I take two hot dogs. That's actually the best fucking trait I've ever fucking heard in my life. That is the best thing that's ever, you know what? I'm glad that, I'm glad that this is how things are.
That's how we're gonna do things. Yeah. I really, I mean, what I, what kind of beer? Honestly, I don't really care. I really like beer. Normally it's like Miller Light or something. Yeah. Love that. Can I say that? No. Make it a fake. Make it a fake name. What? And normally it's Miller White. Miller White. It still sounded the same.
It sounds like someone's grandpa Miller White. Yeah, Miller White came over the other day. He ain't doing so good, but he ain't doing very well. Oh wait, I have more. I'm sorry. I'm like, we get lost sometimes. I [00:38:00] know. I'm just not locked in. Today we are getting over, uh, battling illness. I'm still currently battling it.
She stepped on a light bulb. That's not, I did step on a light bulb while I was battling an ELs. She did step on a light bulb. I did. How is that, that someone left out? How is that? How's your foot? My foot's alive and it's well, and it's working. Um, and it has to work every single day of my life. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, I should get compensation.
Oh, okay. Okay. Go back to the screen. Alright. My, um, my roommates and I roommates. My roommates Berman, sorry. My roommates and I decided to do a pumpkin carving contest for Halloween. I spent hours on mine. It was a perfect Jack Skellington. Next morning I find it smashed to [00:39:00] pieces on the back porch. I instantly knew who did it.
My ex-roommate, who also happens to be dating my ex-boyfriend. That was the hard part for her. I'm mad about the skeleton getting smashed, bro. No, I'm mad about my pumpkin that I took. Do you know how hard it is to carve pumpkins the way you want it? It's not done. Continue. I accused her. She denied it. Oh wait, hold on.
And we ended up screaming at each other until she threw actual pumpkin guts at me. How'd she get the pumpkin guts? Framed. Framed. You did it, bitch. Nah, that's crazy. Ain't no bleeping over here. You fucked up the, that shit's ePEP. Hard, hard to do. We never figured out who actually smashed it. She did, but honestly, I still think it was her.
I ha. Where? 'cause what the fuck? She threw pumpkin guts over. The fuck did that come from? You know, kids, kids be outside of Yeah, they'd be outside. I, you may just a just have framed her and it won't even her. Yeah. I mean, [00:40:00] I don't know about framing, but you know what, she dating your ex, so Yeah. Fuck that bitch.
Honestly. Your ex-roommate dating your ex man. That sounds like a whole bunch of Yeah, I was plott. Yeah, I was sleeping behind my back. Yeah. And that's like a whole, that's a pool of STDs right there. That's a pool of pool vermin. STDs. Okay. I don't know what the fuck she's mouth. Wrap it before you tap it.
Yeah, do that. I don't what the fuck. Y'all stressed me the fuck out. Anyway, so that sounds like a whole pool of STDs, you know? And to think of like, oh my god, imagine. How do you keep that a secret? Like if you're like roommates with someone, I wanna know if they started dating after they stopped becoming, stopped becoming roommates.
Or if they, yeah, it was having, it was fucking the whole time when though, like, you hanging out with your girl, she's asleep. Oh yeah, I'm gonna go home. And he's like, I'm gonna go use the bathroom real quick. I'll be right back. And then he is downstairs fucking your friend. Ew. That's how it happens. I've watched too much Jerry.
Jerry, oh, and Maury, I love Jerry and Ma. They'll be like, yeah, while you were [00:41:00] asleep upstairs. Yeah. I went downstairs then Was your roommate fucking your man? And then Jerry's like, and how do you feel about that? And they're like, how do I feel about pull water cup? You're like, take the cap off. And they're like, I know.
How do I feel about that? Jerry's getting waterboarded. And then like, they're like yelling at each other, like the roommate's like yelling at the girl and then the dude's there. He is like, yeah, I was getting all of it, bro. I was getting, and then they both start beating and then one bitch looks like this and she's like, she's like, I know she got her ass beat.
And then the audience is like, no, she came out looking like that. Why are you so ugly? Yeah. She came out looking like that. There's always, the girlfriend will walk out and she's like, eh, mediocre. Very like not cute both ways. Yeah. But then the, the girl he's fucking comes out and she's like. And I told you, and I'm like, oh shit.
We just fucking anything. We just fucking, and then he picked the other girl and then he picked the girl and he's like, [00:42:00] I'm going. And he's like, yeah, I'm going home with him. Yeah. And then his like, his girlfriend's like, I didn't fucking want him. You can have him at my fucking leftovers. My favorite part about Jerry and Morrie.
Is the end where the audience, they're all sitting there? No, they're all sitting there like in a chair and the audience is like raising their hands and they're like, what the fuck is this ugly ass dude doing? Yeah. I mean, you got you a bad bitch and then you went to like Dobby the elf for some shit. Like be creative.
They be creative as hell in that audience. And Jerry's just like, okay. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. Next person. How does it feel to know you fucked Loompa and they're like, I to fuck you up? Yeah, they're like in the audience like ready to No, they're like on stage, ready to go into the audience. They're like, shut.
I love Jerry Springer. RIP. Yeah. R-I-P-R-P to all of it. You know, I grew up on that shit. TV's not like that anymore. No, it's not like that anymore. Honestly. We should do that. We should. We should. We should. Do we. We That should be, should do that. We should do some Jerry Springer shit. Should do, we should do it like where we follow the people and catch 'em cheating too, like [00:43:00] Yeah.
Oh yeah. Like, like double down. Oh, he we're mobile motherfucker. Mm-hmm. We're mobile. Yeah. We out here. We out here. Like we mobile out here catching these hoes. Yeah. We see him here. Yeah. Pull up, pull up, pull up right now. Pull up, pull up on him. Yeah. I would, honestly, that's such a vibe. I used to, um, my friend, uh, was talking to this guy before she dated him and he used to like, bring girls to like the places she would be at, which was the dumbest thing ever.
And I would be there and I would literally snitch so hard on him. I literally used to like. Take pictures. I would be like, that's your man. Look at who this man's with right now. That's your man. Wait, hold on. That's my imitation of you. Don't even lie. He was probably like, no. Yeah, I actually didn't, I wasn't hiding it at all.
I was like, so what do you have to say? And then it'd be like the girl would literally be like, what the fuck is going on? I was like, sorry, this ain't about you. Yeah. No it's not. I mean, it really is not her fault. You know? It's never like girl's fault. Don't say that. [00:44:00] No. Sometimes it can be. Typically it's because sometimes the girl will be like, yeah, I was fucking your man and I knew, I knew you had he had a girl, girl.
Nah, that's different either way. It's honestly, it's not either way. Yes, that's fucked up. Yeah, but it's more the man's responsibility. Oh yeah. Always the man's responsibility or like the person in the relationships, but I'll fuck both of y'all up. The person in the relationship's responsibility. Bo, you just don't, both of of 'em up.
Both of em. Both of 'em gonna catch the hands. I mean, period. I really like a good tire slicing. Um, if you do, it's not enough. If we tee three, um, insurance won't. It's three. Right. Insurance won't cover it. Yeah. But now allegedly insurance is kind of like, damn. People are doing that on purpose, huh? Yeah. Well.
Oh, are they catching? Oh, that's kind of annoying. So now we gotta find something else. Huh? Why didn't they do that? I put like 50 nails in that bitch's tire. Why are they like making it harder for people to get revenge on their cheating exs sugar in the tank?
I mean, that always works. Does insurance cover it though? Because if insurance fucking covers shit, there's no way [00:45:00] If insurance brown sugar in the tank, brown sugar insurance ain't cover mola or nothing Brown. Oh wow. Wow. I wasn't even thinking that. I thought it was like, 'cause it would like blend with the glass health insurance, the gas insurance.
I wasn't even thinking that deeply. Damn. Put some brown sugar in that bitch. I mean, yeah. You ain't expect that. No, that shit popped into my head. I say, I really thought she was being creative. I thought she was saying like, 'cause it would like blend with the gas. Like, not like, I don't know, like white sugar insurance.
I don't really understand the laws of physics. I really just thought it would match the, you were like, ah, brown sugar. And then you said that and I was like, oh, you were like, yeah, fucking brown sugar. No, no, no. Um, so one thing I am deeply afraid of, um, since it's Halloween, let's talk about our fears. Go ahead.
What's your biggest fear? Our fears? Yeah. Ever. Going blind, bro. [00:46:00] I'm already blind in one eye. Yeah. Damn. That's deep as fuck. I know. Imagine if I go blind in my other eye. That's so deep. I mean, fuck it. What else am I going to do? I'll help you. I mean, ain't nobody helping me. I'm walking in incoming traffic.
Oh, I'm so, I'm gonna help make sure that doesn't happen. Nah. Oh God. Don't stop me. I'm gonna stop you. That shit will piss me off. I don't give a fuck. I'll be mad as hell. Fucking piss her, piss me off. I don't care, bitch. I, I'm fucking in ain gonna drive her. I'm not, I'm not living in this fucking world.
Fucking no fucking friends motherfucker. I would literally like me and Hadley would be like, well, shit. Now what? We would be like, I'm in traffic. Like, nah, nah, because that's not, that wouldn't happen. I would stop her. I don't care how fucking mad she is. I'd literally get a lasso, a cowboy your ass. No, I figure it out.
I'd be mad as fuck though. Like, imagine I've been living with one eye my whole life now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That is, that's, that's scary. That is actually scary. You're right. No, you're right. Damn, bro. Damn. What's yours? Oh. Probably, uh, [00:47:00] I don't know. She's like, damn, I gotta get deep too. Nah, I, I was, I really don't know.
I'm not really, I'm, I'm not really scared of a lot. That's, yeah. I'm just kind of built like that, you know, ain't nothing, doesn't fucking scare me at all. Yeah. Just kind. No, I know what scares me. Um, I am honestly scared of like, dying and going to hell probably. I mean, that's a valid, like hell is scary. I don't think that one counts because we're all afraid of that.
I mean, that's what I'm afraid of. Depending on what you believe in. Um, yeah, I just, because I can't, like, I can't even fathom what the fuck hell would be like, you know, I've read the Bible and shit and like, you know, I don't know. I don't really wanna do that. Everyone says it's different. I don't want to, I don't wanna go to hell yeah, that's true.
Because then that's like full eternity of just like pain, like eternity pain and suffering. Like that sucks. I would not like that. Yeah, my son came to me the other day. [00:48:00] I'm about to piss off a couple people. My son came to me the other day and me and my girl, and we're sitting on the couch and he goes, how do dogs, like, can dogs be, can we be born dogs and cats?
And my immediate response in this, my immediate response in this world is like, oh, is he talking about re carnation? My girlfriend's fucked up response because of the crazy world we live in. Was. No, you can't be a cat or a dog. Like, you can't be like a furry, like, yeah. Her immediate response was like, no, you can't be a furry.
And mine was like, re carnation? Like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Like maybe you could get reincarnation. That's the type of fucked up where we live in. What did he mean? Which one? We still have no idea. We talked about it for like 30 straight minutes and he was like, no, I'm saying like, can you be born a cat or a dog?
And I'm like, what do you mean it's your beliefs? I dunno. I dunno. Whatcha asking? I dunno, [00:49:00] what's going on, Natalie? He's like, recar, like first, he's like, what? Never mine. And we're like, I, I'm sorry. I fucking asked. Like, I'm getting stressed out, man. This shit's stressed. What the fuck is he talking about? I'm like, I don't know.
I think he's talking about furries. I don't, I think we're miscommunicating right now. Like that is, are you talking about coming back to life? He's like, no, like this life, I'm like. This so furries, but then he's like, no, no furries. I'm not mad at furries lately, to be honest. I don't like furries. I'm, you know what?
I've been watching, so I've been watching a lot of cosplay shit and stuff because, oh, the amazing digital circus is out and I'm like a little nerd. And I was watching like people do like jack's, cosplays and shit, and one of 'em, like, they did it like the actual cartoon and it looked almost furry, like. But it wasn't, they made it.
That's pretty cool. They made that shit handmade by themselves and it was like a whole, and it was, it's like a bunny. It's like a purple bunny. It was pretty, I don't know. I thought it was pretty dope. So I've been starting to [00:50:00] kind of understand the wave. I don't like the like sexualizing. That's my problem.
Of the furry thing. No, that's fucking weird. But also like, what the fuck? I don't know. I can't fucking touch. You are not allowed to own a dog or a cat if you are. Yeah, I agree with that. A sexual furry, and you're pretending to hump each other like fucking animals. Yeah. That is fucking weird. That is weird as shit.
I feel like, yeah. I feel like you shouldn't. I feel like there should be rules to this. Right? So there's gotta be some rules to where I, in my perfect society, if you're a furry for like sexual reasons, you are not allowed to own an animal. That's weird. You could maybe own a hermit crab. That's it. Not even a hermit crab in my eyes.
What the fuck? That's fucking weird. I don't give a fuck. Can do anything with a fucking hermit crab. A hermit crab's. Scary. Like a, I don't know, like a little pet cockroach. Like you're out here like literally. You're dressed as a giant dog and then you have your fucking, I don't know if it's a cat, it's a bald human.
It's that person from fucking, what's that movie? Um, that one that you really like. Evan Peters is in American Horror Story. You know what I'm talking about? That's the black suit show, [00:51:00] not a movie. The black suit. Yeah. Yeah. Like the latex. And then you have like a fucking ball gag in your mouth. Yeah. And you have a chain wrap and you're like, I'm just walking my dog.
My kids do not need to see you walking your fucking naked cat thing. Yeah. Thing. That's weird. That is kind of weird. Keep your look. I'm not judging your inhouse fucking role play shit. But like that shit's don't walk your human dog naked thing around on the fucking pavement. In the middle of Raleigh.
Yeah. I honestly think that, um, I, I don't hate that. Like people are furries regularly. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like when you guys are like, like making like costumes and shit. Cosplay. Yeah. Like I love that shit. That's creative as fuck. Some people do that really cool. I love it. But then when they start getting like pulling out ball gags Yeah.
And they're walking each other. I'm like, man, what the fuck are you do out here? Not on the ground, in the wild, bro. Like, I mean, out here in the wild, you're like, it's, I'm gonna like, bruh, have you seen that one movie? And it's like, about the guy, oh my God. I had nightmare. I had a nightmare about this movie when I was dog [00:52:00] sitting.
I get scared when I was dog sitting it and it wasn't even that scary. Um, it's like a movie. I'm pretty sure. It's all, yeah. It's all in Russian. And it's like, this dog, I didn't watch it anyway. It's like a dog. It's like this dude, he owns a, a, a dog. Right. And she, he's like telling this girl he's on a date with like, I own this dog.
And, um, she's like, oh, fucking cool. Like, you own this dog. Um, and. She like, they like hook up next morning. She like sees the dog, the dog is a person in a dog suit. Um, and he's like, you will treat my dog as a human. And like her homie fucking treat him. Leaves a human. Yes. 'cause he is human. No. Like, no, you treat my dog.
No, you treat, no, no, no, no. You treat it like a dog. That's what I meant to say. He was like, you treat him like a dog. Like do not refer to him as a human. Do not like pet him. Say good boy. Like that's a dog. And it's like a literal fucking human in a dog suit. Like really realistic but creepy ass dog suit, giving skin walker vibes.
Like, ugh, if you don't get your ass off the fucking floor. And I dog sit for some, some dogs and one of them [00:53:00] kind of looks like a skin walker. And I was watching this the night that I was dog sitting with them and I fell asleep on the couch. And I like had some fucked up ass dream about like a dude and a dog suit trying to kill, kill me dog.
Like no. I wake up from it and I was asleep on my back. See, that's the problem. I don't sleep on my back 'cause that I need to sleep like in a cocoon. Like this, like a Rollie ply. She sleeps with her pillow and her face in her pillow. Yeah. And then I also like keep a pillow here, like cocoon. And I'm like, anyway, um, so I have this dream and I was like on my back, like laying like normal fucking person and I like opened my eyes and the dog that.
It looks like a skin walker was like in my face like this. And I was like, get the fuck this. Honestly, I felt really bad 'cause the poor dog was probably like seeing me stressed in. My dream was like, are you okay? And I was like, no, get away from me. It was so, so freaky. So that I actually did get scared.
I'm not, I'm not, uh, completely fearless. You know, sometimes, you know, [00:54:00] everyone has their flaws, you know, so sometimes you get a little, is she trying to riz you guys up right now? Like, sometimes, sometimes it just has their flaws. Everybody has those days. Everybody makes mistakes.
So anyway, um, yeah, I, so I watched this movie, it was crazy. And then like, at the end of the movie, bro, I'm spoiling it. Just so everyone knows I'm spoiling the movie. I don't think they're gonna watch it. I think that you should. I think they're petrified right now. Miss a good movie. But it was scary. It's really interesting.
Um, he like, takes this girl so, oh, the home girl, she's like, mm. Lemme talk to my friend about this 'cause he like, ha she leaves and like, lemme talk. Yeah. We'd be like, girl, lemme tell you what the fuck happened last night. Yeah, that would be me, bro. I told that bitch to get up out the corner. That was weird as fuck.
It was a dude, it was a dude in a dog suit and then a dude roommate. Oh. And he was like, it's my roommate, but he's like my dog. Like that's my dog. He like went in a cage, like his dog will not speak barks like dog, like [00:55:00] full dog. And you can barely see his face. 'cause like the costume covers it. You can kind of see it through the eyes.
It's fucking freaky. And um, she's like, let me debrief with my homegirl. So the guy's like Rich, so her homegirl sucks. Her homegirl was like, whatever is play some like weird king thing. Like date him, he's rich. So she goes on a camping trick with him and his dog, his dog Air Force. Does the dog like stand up or does it No.
Walk like that. Walks on all fours all times. I don't know why I said dog. Yeah, his whatever. So, and basically they go out respecting people's pronouns. They go out, he's like, and so he's making it seem like the roommate like, wants it. And he's like, take, take my, take my dog on a walk. He like tells the girl to take my dog, take his dog on a walk.
It's a human, it's as right there too. I be like, the fuck is going on? Yeah. So she, she's walking the dog and dog's like, help. She's like, you me help stand up. Which I thought you wanted. I thought you wanted this. He's like, no, fucking hear us. Shut up. Help help me. [00:56:00] And, and she's like, okay. So she's like trying to figure out a way to like help.
Well, the story at the end of the movie, um, she is also a dog. Mm-hmm. He like turned her into a dog, turned her, and then there was a kid in a dog suit as well. Oh no. See, then they put the kids in. I feel bad they put the kids into it. It's the la it was like the last frame, the whole movie. I was like pretty cool.
Last frame. It's like her in a dog suit. The other guy in a dog suit and then like a child in a dog suit. Oh, come on. Fucking it was that airy Astor shit. I don't know if he made that movie. Gosh, man, I don't know if he directed that movie, but it was giving like airy Astor, mid soer, hereditary type filming shit.
I don't watch. He, he definitely didn't make it 'cause it's Russian. He didn't make it, but it gave that vibe like 8 24. Shit. Why you gotta add in the kid, bro? Yeah, I know. But they be doing that, bro. Midsummer was one of the best horror movies I think I've ever seen. Hereditary, the guy. Oh my god. He is so.
Sucks. Oh, I love that movie. He's so fine. I'm sorry. I'm done. The one like that wears the fucking bird king looking ass crown. [00:57:00] I'm here for it. Sorry. I'm like, let me, you know those people that have like serial killer kinks and they're like sending them to jail. He wasn't a in jail. And then you're like, I'm not taking that.
I know what you're about to say and I'm not taking it. I don't do that. That's just weird as fuck. That shit is weird as fuck. I'm not into that. She loves like scary looking people. No. What the fuck? Like scary figures. Insult all of my exes. Damn bro. No, I, um, the guy of them, but one guy, the guy from would be nice too.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's what I fucking thought. Okay. I take it back anyway. Kidding. I'm kidding. I take it back. I'm kidding. No, no. He wasn't a murderer in that movie. He was like, well, he did, his sister did get decapitated. I don't know if that was his fault. She was like having allergic reaction and like, you know, she like, have you not seen Hereditary?
I don't watch this movies. I don't know why you, you've never seen her hereditary Watch Sponge Bob. Dude, you don't even be watching SpongeBob. Girl. I don't watch anything right now. I [00:58:00] can't watch tv. You, you watch like, uh, Tyler Perry ass shit. Like, you watch like fucking, like millennial shit and you're not even millennial.
I've had this conversation with so many 25, 26, 27 year olds this week. I don't know why she's judging me. No, I'm not judging. I've had, it's so annoying because they're like, yeah, I'm just like so much fucking like older than you. You're literally Gen Z. You are in my generation. Yeah. Okay. You're a little older than me.
You are in my generation. Even what those, those terms mean, you're a liar. I don't even know. You know what they mean? What Gen Z is? You lie millennial, you lie, you know what they mean? Because you yell at me all the time and say that I'm a millennial. No, I say You're Gen Z. See, I don't know what I am. She's Gen Z, I'm gay.
Yeah, she is that you're gay and Gen Z. Gen Z, gay. I don't these terms. My mom's like, I'm Gen X. Or like, my mom does that too. I'm like, what the fuck is that shit, man? Like, what the fuck are y'all talking about? Dude, I'm Desiree, my mom. Oh, that's what's up. [00:59:00] Uh, and I like that though. I'm Desiree, I like Coochie.
Oh, wow. Only one. So I, um, I, my mom put on her Facebook once, it was like, to all the Gen Xers out there slay this day. And I was like, oh, well fuck me, I guess. Um, I'm Gen Z, uh, and you birthed me, so can I slay the day? No, only to the Gen Xers. I was, I was not here for that. That kind of pissed me off. I actually made a whole ticket talk about, about it.
Did these terms come from slay this day? And I was like, I thought you were. What? What? Because I said, where did these terms come from? And you were like, slick. No, and I was like, sorry. I'm sorry. Was it really that far back?
Was it really that far back? Why do you want me canceled? Did you does this all the time? All the time. I'm like, all right. You know what? At this point, I am who I am. [01:00:00] I don't have anything else to say. Oh, wait, maybe we should like do one more little, you wanna do one more story? Mm Ooh, this one's good. This one's good.
Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Okay. My best friend and I went to one of those haunted houses where people jump at you with chainsaws. No. Yeah, that sounds like my kind of night. Anyway, halfway through, I turn around and she's gone. This is an all cap, so I had to yell it. I panicked thinking she got lost, so I go through the emergency exit.
Guess what I find? She's literally making out with one of the actors, Michael Meyers mask on and everything. Apparently she gave him her number before we even went in. I was just standing there third wheeling with slasher villain. I don't know how to look her in the eye. I still dunno how to look her in the eye.
I don't do that. Why are you like doing that? You would do that. I would not do that. I would not do that. [01:01:00] No. This is where I would, what I wouldn't do, I wouldn't leave my friends. You would make out with Michael Myers. In front of them as vengeance for all of the making out. That happened in the back of my car.
You just lost in the parking lot today. It was really bad. I, I pulled in so I was like rushing. I was like, 'cause I missed two exits before I got here. And I was like, fuck, I'm late, I'm always late. I need to stop doing that. And I was like, I should probably leave like 20 minutes early 'cause I miss exits.
Um, so, you know, I'm like overthinking and I pull into the parking lot immediately. I'm like, all right. What the fuck? Because they're like, we weren't kissing. I dunno what she's talking about. No, I was making, I was being dramatic. They were more like, just like, hey, like we're just like standing here waiting and I'm like bitter.
I'm just bitter. I'm just lonely and bitter. That's all. It's okay though. You know what? I am glad that my friends are in love and are happy.
On the on.[01:02:00]
Um, honestly, my advice to the girl making out with Michael Myers, mic Michael, Michael Myers, do damn is, um, period say, uh, also beware. Um, because people who be doing that, like, what the fuck do you have free time that you'd be working at a haunted house? Honestly, me, I would probably work at a haunted house.
I'd be having free time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's a commitment. That's a commitment. That's a commitment. Anyway, you know, be careful with that. Um, don't die. Might be the real one. Uh, real Mc Myers don't. We don't like that. A lot of people are like chronically online nowadays, and they like take on these characters.
They get a little weird. Did y'all watch the last screen? That shit was crazy. Yep. Like they'd be, they'd be taking on these characters for real. Really going in and freaking worshiping them. Yeah. And they like wanna be like them. Yeah. Weird as shit. Don't do that. So, you know, [01:03:00] beware. Um, be safe. Uh, use a condom and, um, on that note, until next time.
Oh yeah. Until next time. She does it every time. Until next time. I'm Elena. I'm Des. And we digress.