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Nuke me, senpai!
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:00.54)
Hello and welcome back to popcorn and blood holes where we watch Shin Godzilla.
Luciano (00:07.418)
Yeah.
Spencer (00:07.743)
Woo!
Matt (00:09.66)
Woo, indeed. With me, as always, Luciano.
Luciano (00:14.398)
Uh, yeah. I mean, that's yeah. Okay.
Matt (00:19.3)
Yeah, great talk. And coming back from parts unknown, Spencer.
Spencer (00:19.67)
Woo!
Spencer (00:28.467)
Woo!
Luciano (00:30.566)
I got him with a loop.
Matt (00:32.196)
He's just, he's not actually here folks, we just got a loop of woo.
Luciano (00:35.646)
Hahaha!
Spencer (00:36.587)
Woo!
Matt (00:39.274)
In order to satisfy the deal with the devil that we clearly have to be doing whatever we're doing, we had to sacrifice Chris in order to get Spencer back. So we made said sacrifice.
Spencer (00:49.494)
Woo! Okay, all right. I'm done.
Luciano (00:52.663)
Now, Chris pulled a Spencer today, and actually a worse Spencer, because normally when we pick shit movies, it's Spencer that picks them. And then at least he's here to talk about it. But Chris picked this one and he was like, nope, going to do something else instead of talking about it.
Spencer (01:02.296)
Yes.
Matt (01:04.676)
No thanks. I'm out. I'm out of here.
Spencer (01:06.086)
I mean, I would love to shit on Chris, but I actually picked this movie. Chris suggested minus, yeah, Chris suggested minus one, which is in theaters. And then we were like, Oh, we can't go to that. And then I said, maybe let's do, let's do Shin Godzilla. Perfect.
Luciano (01:10.722)
Oh, did you? Oh, then all is right with the world.
Matt (01:14.664)
Oh good.
Luciano (01:18.022)
Oh, that's right. That's right. Yeah.
Matt (01:19.388)
That's right.
We only do streaming movies.
Luciano (01:26.182)
What's the worst that could happen? Well... Heheheheheheh!
Matt (01:28.42)
Hey, hey, whoa, hey now, we are gonna discuss the movie. You don't know if it's good or bad, dear listener. So let's, no one has watched it. Actually, it's reviewed fairly well in terms of like rotten tomatoes and stuff. So we'll get into that. Let's start where we always start. We start positive. We hit these movies at a really high note. What was your favorite part of Shin Godzilla?
Luciano (01:34.446)
Yeah, because nobody watches.
Luciano (01:43.94)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:46.254)
Shocking.
Luciano (01:49.829)
Yeah?
Luciano (01:56.71)
I have one on the on the docket. So it's a blink and you'll miss scene. But you know, when like Squirrel Godzilla or Raccoon Godzilla is waddling through the canal, like displacing boats and like, there's a there's a scene where they show Godzilla from the front and then like some boats and water and shit is spilling through the street. And there is a single guy running away.
Spencer (02:11.071)
Yes.
Luciano (02:23.526)
from the debris and the boats and he looks like an anime running like you know in anime when they make the guys back turned into a reverse C and he's like and it's like I watched that scene like four or five times and I laughed my ass off on that scene. That scene was the best scene of this whole movie. Just hilarious like just the guy alone making his like whatever 20 bucks as an extra just running away from debris. Perfect.
Spencer (02:32.832)
Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (02:39.597)
Wow.
Luciano (02:51.75)
Perfection, that scene.
Matt (02:53.864)
I'm concerned that you picked a man from the movie, but you know, in the background, yeah. Spencer, can you pick something more, less in the background than what Luciano picked?
Luciano (02:57.572)
Yeah. You should be. You should be concerned.
Spencer (02:59.818)
in the background.
Luciano (03:08.988)
Ha ha!
Spencer (03:11.326)
I mean, I think it was a beautiful celebration of bureaucracy. Just really elevating the genre with a love letter.
Luciano (03:15.634)
Hahaha!
Matt (03:16.169)
Oh now we're talking.
Matt (03:24.464)
What else is in the bureaucracy genre besides this film?
Luciano (03:24.547)
Yeah.
Spencer (03:28.294)
Um, uh, there's the adjustment bureau. Classic. I don't know. It just has, it has some bureau in the name. Okay.
Matt (03:32.449)
Okay, yep.
Luciano (03:33.678)
What? No, that's... What? That's not about bureaucracy.
Matt (03:35.432)
Ha ha
Luciano (03:41.491)
Uhhh...
Matt (03:41.688)
In a way, minority report is about bureaucracy.
Luciano (03:44.246)
Yeah, it is. Would you like to know more?
Spencer (03:44.662)
Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh. But that's not the minority report.
Matt (03:48.074)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
Luciano (03:50.098)
Hahaha
Matt (03:52.584)
That's Starship Troopers.
Spencer (03:53.43)
That's it. That's it. Those movies.
Luciano (03:54.452)
I know.
Matt (03:56.54)
Those two, three, great.
Do you want to expand on what about the bureaucracy that made you so excited?
Spencer (04:01.058)
Ha ha
Spencer (04:05.186)
Yeah, I mean, it really shows when you have a really good team and a system and about four to five weeks of prep time what you can get done. No matter the problem.
Luciano (04:17.214)
especially if it involves like 150 people.
Spencer (04:21.43)
You can do anything with bureaucracy and enough prep time. But prep time is the key ingredient.
Luciano (04:28.35)
Hahaha!
Matt (04:29.092)
Well, and you need backup sites, so you can, you know, a series of nondescript rooms with four walls, no windows.
Spencer (04:38.022)
Yes. But you can't use one room for all of it. It has to be a changing room. Because I believe the conference room was changed, I counted, I believe three times in 20 minutes, in the opening 20 minutes of the film.
Luciano (04:39.085)
And 40 people inside each one of them.
Matt (04:41.476)
Mm-hmm, that's correct.
Luciano (04:44.647)
No.
Matt (04:45.118)
No, no, no.
Luciano (04:47.033)
If-
Luciano (04:54.082)
Yes. Yeah. Also very important is that depending on what you're doing, you need to change clothes, you need to put on some weird uniform, and then turn back over and then go back to suits and then go back to the uniforms. Yeah.
Matt (04:55.623)
Yeah.
Spencer (05:02.615)
Yes.
Matt (05:05.016)
Overalls, very popular.
Spencer (05:08.706)
to a suit and tie. Well, you know, you can't just, you can't just wear whatever you want. This is a professional atmosphere we're trying to run here.
Matt (05:10.004)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (05:18.796)
The mark of a good bureaucracy is lots of rules designed to make sure everything works. By following the rules.
Spencer (05:22.315)
Yes.
Luciano (05:25.198)
As slowly as, as slowly as possible.
Spencer (05:28.502)
as slowly and unofficially as possible.
Luciano (05:32.539)
Yes.
Matt (05:32.688)
I mean in defense, like we live in Toronto and they have built us a, they call it an LRT, it's a light transit, light rail transit. It should have opened two years ago and it took them like four years to build and they still haven't opened it and they still won't tell us when it's going to open. So in the face of that, these people who managed to deal with Godzilla and take them out, five weeks, great job everybody, knocked it out of the park.
Luciano (05:54.566)
That is true.
Spencer (05:56.102)
That's pretty solid. You know, but like I said, time is the key. You know, the light rail system will get built. Trust the bureaucracy. This movie taught me anything. Trust the bureaucracy.
Matt (06:04.66)
True, yeah. All right, that's a good one. I think that's much more in line with the movie than what Luciano gave us. I am going to pick something that I think we all can cherish. I really enjoyed how much America was in this movie. You know, when I watched a foreign language film, yeah, I mean, both is fair. Watching a foreign language film.
Spencer (06:24.782)
America.
Luciano (06:26.568)
How much or how they put it. Okay.
Matt (06:33.872)
I was pretty excited. In general, Godzilla. Love it. Japanese doing their own take on Godzilla. Generally, they've been really good, so I was excited for this. Yeah, well, it's because... We're gonna talk about the Matthew Broderick, like the Hollywood Eye's take on Godzilla. Like, if you want... Mm-hmm.
Spencer (06:40.59)
doing their own take.
Spencer (06:49.866)
That just showed our age. We were talking about the Hollywoodized version. We're not talking about the last four movies that came out in the last decade. We're talking about the 1997 version?
Luciano (06:52.231)
Yeah.
Matt (06:59.004)
Um.
Luciano (06:59.863)
I've watched none of them.
Matt (07:02.596)
Yeah, well, listen, that's because that's a definitely no Japanese person was involved in the making of this. Like, it, yeah.
Luciano (07:09.698)
Yeah. Hey, you want me to... Let me show my age even more. I cut class in college to watch the Matthew Broderick one in the theaters and I fell asleep watching it. Yes. Oh my God. What about... So what about America in this movie that you enjoyed?
Spencer (07:10.23)
That's in the title card.
Matt (07:21.67)
The first of many mistakes in your life surrounding. Yeah.
Spencer (07:24.702)
That explains why you're on this podcast a little better.
Matt (07:34.052)
So yeah, so like, well, you know, I just enjoyed how they, you know, it was a very faithful interaction with America, of America showing up and meddling where no one wants them to be. Caffed off by the brilliant idea of Americans to just, hey, you know what we should do? Because this worked out so well for us in the past. Let's nuke Japan again. Technically Godzilla, but he's in the middle of Tokyo, so we're gonna nuke Japan. That's the only way to solve our problem.
Luciano (07:46.339)
Yep.
Luciano (07:55.262)
Ha!
Luciano (08:04.266)
That's the only way
Spencer (08:04.514)
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light The best damn, the best damn country in the world
Matt (08:05.615)
worked in WW2.
Luciano (08:11.179)
Yeah. Yeah, that's us. That's the US's response to any problems in Japan is like, what is it? What is it that a nuke can't fix? Come on. Oh my God. Nuclear power.
Matt (08:12.377)
NUKE POWER!
Spencer (08:20.506)
Hehehehe
Matt (08:24.94)
Nuclear power I did watch I actually did watch a couple of the The I guess they're Hollywood versions. I think but like the character Edwards ones, right? It yeah it was Yeah It was good. I have no complaints about that one. Like it was a fine Godzilla movie But anyways, we're not talking about that. We're talking about shin Godzilla Unfortunately, so we're gonna stay the course
Spencer (08:26.978)
Hehe
Spencer (08:36.31)
Yeah, I saw that one. That was the only one I saw.
Luciano (08:38.886)
The one with Bryan Cranston? OK.
Spencer (08:40.801)
Yeah.
Luciano (08:47.183)
Okay.
Spencer (08:50.657)
Unfortunately.
Matt (08:55.024)
Um, this movie is merciless, mercifully a two hour movie about bureaucracy. Um, and it starts off, it starts off great. I got to admit, actually, I was, I was like, basically you start off and there's a little creature that just pops out of Tokyo Bay. Um, does anybody, does anybody know about Tokyo? Because they said Tokyo Bay, it came out of Tokyo Bay, which yeah, I understand. But the creature traveled some crazy distance.
Luciano (09:11.343)
Yeah.
Spencer (09:12.202)
It was great.
Matt (09:24.816)
and wasn't in Tokyo yet. And I just thought Tokyo was closer to Tokyo Bay. Okay.
Luciano (09:29.799)
I don't understand either. The geography of it is weird. They show some radioactive waste in the ocean, but it looks like it's fucking hella deep. But then Godzilla just kind of walks out. I know he's big and everything, but he just walks out of the water as if it's kind of shallow. I don't understand how that works.
Matt (09:38.525)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (09:41.768)
Yes.
Matt (09:50.192)
Well, so, I mean, we should talk about Godzilla's. So Godzilla shows up in the movie real early. And if you didn't catch Godzilla, that's fine, because they brought out a dead raccoon with scales like on Godzilla's back, or like, I guess it wouldn't be scales, but... Stegosaurus. Spine, yeah, fins, or...
Spencer (10:08.45)
Like, like, pterid, not pteridactyl, like, stegosaurus, uh, stegosaurus. Fins? Spine fins?
Luciano (10:11.002)
Oh, they had, yeah, like spine, yeah. Yeah. And like gills along his like torso or something. Yeah.
Matt (10:20.868)
And Gills, yep. Yep, and the googly eyes, which are very important. That's how you know this movie is serious. The deadest googly eyes.
Spencer (10:22.146)
Don't forget the eyes. And the dead googly eyes.
Luciano (10:25.011)
And yeah.
Luciano (10:29.106)
Yeah, completely dead. No eyelids, just... Ha ha ha!
Spencer (10:33.752)
Just dead. Solless googly eyes.
Luciano (10:35.974)
Yeah. Like it's like, it's like a math in fueled hellish dream version of Godzilla. It's like, like a nightmare, a living nightmare version of Godzilla.
Matt (10:48.228)
It was. Admittedly, I did not know that was Godzilla. I just thought, hey, oh, there's some weird creature running around. Oh, that's why Godzilla's gonna show up. Great, no big deal.
Spencer (10:52.703)
No, yeah.
Luciano (10:56.098)
Godzilla is gonna save Tokyo from this creature.
Spencer (10:56.734)
It was, yeah, that's what I thought that too. It was kind of like the Geico gecko if he fell off the wagon and fell deep into a dark, dark heroin addiction.
Matt (10:59.867)
Yeah.
Matt (11:04.071)
Yep.
Luciano (11:05.338)
head. No.
Yeah, I was going to say his.
Matt (11:09.96)
He's a zombie. He's a zombie version, right? Like he gets, he dies from being coked out.
Spencer (11:12.33)
No, he- Yeah, no, it was bath salts, and he got- he came back as a zombie
Luciano (11:14.779)
It.
Matt (11:18.685)
Yeah
Luciano (11:20.651)
I was going to say this is like the gecko, like a gecko mated with a raccoon and the whole family had some sort of terrible accident with like radiation. That's what that looks like.
Spencer (11:31.914)
You know what, I just got it. Here's the best description. Who is the squirrel character from Ice Age? You know that one that's always after the acorn? It looked like a lizard version of that if it was gigantic, right?
Luciano (11:34.691)
Okay.
Matt (11:34.714)
Okay.
Luciano (11:40.61)
Okay? Yeah.
Matt (11:40.7)
Yeah, yeah. Yep. Yes, yes, that's exactly what it is. Yep.
Luciano (11:46.314)
Okay, yeah. With like little nubs for hands too? Yeah.
Matt (11:49.604)
Yep.
Spencer (11:49.674)
with little nubs for hands exactly same kind of weird googly eyes. So audience, you got it now, but dead her exactly much better.
Matt (11:53.644)
Yeah, no, but, but deader. Yeah, yeah. So this creature pops out. Yeah, so that's right. So this creature pops out of Tokyo Bay. I gotta be honest with you. I don't know how, I don't know if he's straight or not, I don't know. I don't know if you guys, how did it, it move through the outskirts of Tokyo? Because it, it's plowing through, it's plowing through like the city.
Luciano (11:56.546)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was genuinely terrifying.
Spencer (12:08.056)
Hilarity ensues.
Spencer (12:18.29)
It like, rolled.
Luciano (12:20.497)
It's
Matt (12:22.552)
much like you would see a creature destroy a city in the original Power Rangers series. And it's just chugging towards downtown Tokyo.
Luciano (12:29.579)
Yeah, yes!
Luciano (12:33.958)
And then stops for whatever reason somewhere. It's just like he runs out of fuel and then it stops.
Matt (12:36.932)
Yeah, doesn't... did he s-
Spencer (12:37.966)
I can only-
Matt (12:40.644)
Yeah. No.
Spencer (12:40.778)
because he didn't really have limbs. His limbs were quite short. I can only imagine he did it.
Luciano (12:44.162)
It had back limbs. It had back limbs that and it was like, yeah, yeah. And it was like pushing itself, like just grinding its own chest against the ground. Yeah.
Matt (12:48.906)
That's right. Yes. That's right. Yeah.
Spencer (12:52.426)
Oh, I thought it was like, you know, when you those people can roll their stomach like in a wave, I pictured its belly was doing that to propel itself forward.
Luciano (12:57.693)
Oh my god. Yeah.
Matt (12:58.16)
Yeah, yeah. Little worm. The worm.
He's just warming around. Now Luciano's right. He was, he had like, he had, so I mean, Godzilla basically is like a T-Rex, right? So he had like the big beefy legs, but you never saw his little stick fronts. So he just plowed himself through the countryside.
Luciano (13:14.616)
Yeah, when he like raises itself up and you see it's not even like tiny hands like a T-Rex, it's just knobs. It's the most disgusting, yeah, just little tiny disgusting nubs. It's like what the f- why? Stop with that.
Spencer (13:22.046)
Yeah, they're like little nubs.
Matt (13:29.38)
And for some reason, it like pukes blood out of gills.
Luciano (13:33.986)
Yes. What was that about?
Spencer (13:34.346)
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah, I forgot. That never came up again. Never explained and never happened again.
Matt (13:36.719)
I know.
Luciano (13:40.154)
No, no, it's like walking around and then like blood pukes out and that's the only time it happens and nobody talks about it.
Matt (13:48.012)
So now who knows what this creature is, he runs in, I guess there's some like casualties, they seem like they evacuate everybody more or less. They talk about evacuating.
Spencer (13:55.342)
Did they, I don't think they showed a single person really die. No, that's not true. They showed some of the, some of the bureaucracy people, not like, like the civilians.
Matt (13:59.08)
No. Well... In... Well, in this first stage, they didn't show anybody die. Um, because they do show later on, we'll get to it, but later on they definitely show people die. Um, and then so this thing goes in and then decides to turn around and go back into Tokyo Bay for reasons that, you know... The scientists don't know, which is fair, like no one knows what's happening. Oh, sorry, I'm sorry. Mm-hmm.
Luciano (13:59.158)
Oh, they did, they did.
Luciano (14:08.431)
Yeah.
Luciano (14:19.958)
Oh no, they say why, they say why. Because it needed to cool down. It needed to cool down. It was too warm or whatever.
Matt (14:28.476)
Cool, so we need to call down.
Spencer (14:28.69)
As we know, fire is its natural enemy. Heat is its weakness.
Luciano (14:33.478)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Matt (14:34.894)
Yep. So Godzilla then, I'm sorry, the unnamed creature goes back into Tokyo Bay and like stays there for like a while, right? Like weeks or week?
Luciano (14:46.538)
Uh, yeah, enough, enough that the, uh, the bureaucracy with a capital B is able to put in like a response plan for when it shows back up.
Spencer (14:47.395)
Time is a flat circle in this movie.
Matt (14:58.792)
Yes, that's right. And they like start bringing in like, like biologists and botanists. They said a bunch of signs words that honestly don't remember. Yeah.
Spencer (15:05.99)
They said experts The little e the experts like I can neither confirm nor deny. I have any opinion on this matter It would be it would be detrimental to my position if I said something wrong like why is this man in this movie? What was the point of that conversation?
Luciano (15:06.625)
Oh, well.
Matt (15:14.15)
Yeah.
Luciano (15:21.002)
Yeah, no, when they bring, they bring like the specialists and they go like, Oh, we haven't studied enough, but we think that this might be the case. And then the only person that woman who's like, you know, this is what it is. And then they all turn to her is like, how can you say something with this much confidence? It's like, you know, something it's that's why you're here. Because you know, something shut up child. I'm going to say, well, we're sure it's not going to come ashore. And then like, literally, the next scene is like, Oh, it's come ashore.
Matt (15:49.832)
classic.
Luciano (15:50.142)
This happens three times in the movie. Every time the prime minister says something to the public. Yeah. Oh, God.
Spencer (15:54.202)
makes an announcement, the opposite happens.
Matt (15:58.916)
Um, so that happens and then proper, almost proper Godzilla shows up. He looks like Godzilla but things aren't right. Like if you were like, if you had, if your eyes were replaced by dead googly eyes, he would look like Godzilla. Yeah. But he's not quite there. And so they start talking about
Luciano (16:06.59)
It's not. Yeah. It's Godzilla with developmental problems.
Spencer (16:21.059)
That Google would get go eyes. Yeah.
Luciano (16:22.946)
Yes, yes. You know what, you know what it is? It's like someone asked someone to draw Godzilla from memory, but like the original Godzilla from the first movie. Can you draw it from memory? And then they put it in the movie. That's exactly what it is. It looks a little bit more like what you expect Godzilla to look like. It still has T-Rex arms for whatever reason. And...
Spencer (16:35.735)
And again.
Matt (16:41.076)
Yeah, I think that's fair.
Spencer (16:50.753)
He's Godzilla-ish.
Luciano (16:52.63)
Yeah.
Matt (16:52.74)
Yeah, he is. And then he starts headed back towards the center of Tokyo. Do they ever explain why he's going to the middle of Tokyo? They ask the question, but they don't know the answer, right? Okay. They do. At length.
Luciano (17:01.902)
No, I don't. Yeah.
Spencer (17:06.438)
Oh, they certainly asked the question and discussed the question and hypothesized the answers.
Luciano (17:10.138)
Yeah, but never answered it.
Matt (17:13.24)
So it's about this time that a special envoy from the United States comes to help the bureaucracy out. And we meet one, Keiko Anne Patterson, who is American by birth, but has an Asian parent, mother, as far as we can tell. Yeah.
Spencer (17:33.442)
American by birth, Japanese by actress. Ha ha
Luciano (17:36.623)
Yes, perfect, perfect description.
Matt (17:40.364)
Um, and she is sharing a bunch of information and, um, we learned about Goro. Unfortunately, it's not the Goro you want it to be. It is not, uh, Mortal Kombat Goro.
Luciano (17:49.246)
No, it's not. It's. Yeah.
Spencer (17:49.39)
Awwww. That four-armed go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-
Luciano (17:55.775)
I would have watched Goro from Mortal Kombat trying to deal with Godzilla. That would be fun to watch. Yeah.
Matt (17:57.456)
Right? Just show up and be a scientist, little tiny glasses. Make them look smart.
Spencer (18:02.49)
Heheheheh
Goro thinks we could coagulate his blood. That's a good idea Goro.
Luciano (18:08.467)
Hahaha!
Goro identified extremophile configuration. Nice.
Matt (18:11.99)
Okay, um
Spencer (18:12.386)
I'm out.
Matt (18:17.329)
So this Goro is Goro Maki and he is, he is by title, by reputation, an anti-nuclear zoology professor. Apparently that's a job for somebody.
Luciano (18:20.058)
Yes.
Spencer (18:21.506)
The worst of the ghoros.
Luciano (18:25.146)
He's so bad, he doesn't even show up.
Luciano (18:34.722)
Yes. I mean have you seen the titles in this movie? That's not even the most outrageous job in this movie.
Spencer (18:37.402)
One of two.
Matt (18:39.22)
Thank you.
Matt (18:45.392)
Yeah, I mean that's fair. Yep.
Spencer (18:45.542)
anti-nuclear zoologist. Those don't seem to be, those don't seem to overlap.
Luciano (18:48.367)
Yeah.
No, because he's mad because of what the US did to Japan in the second world war. That's why he's anti-nuclear.
Matt (18:51.709)
Well...
Matt (18:57.86)
Yeah. It's one of these things where having written it down or it's where the English language fails because his title isn't anti-nuclear zoologist. His title is zoologist, but his belief is anti-nuclear.
Luciano (19:12.126)
Who's also, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (19:14.954)
Yeah, that's like, like that's like being pro war carpenter. It's like they're not like mutually exclusive at all.
Matt (19:19.888)
Right. Yeah.
Luciano (19:20.028)
Ha ha!
Luciano (19:24.221)
Yeah, they're not it's not like he's using his carpentry for war but yeah, yeah
Spencer (19:28.724)
Yeah.
Matt (19:30.612)
Exactly. And this guy, or by way of information from the American government, he discovered Godzilla and he actually helps them name Godzilla. And in this movie, do I understand it correctly that the Americans call it Godzilla and so the Japanese adopt the name, right? So it's, you know, yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (19:49.973)
Yes.
Luciano (19:50.718)
Yeah, I hated that so much. Yeah.
Spencer (19:53.634)
But they call it Gojira.
Luciano (19:56.334)
Yeah, so it that the Americans are the ones who give the name back to the Japanese and then they retranslated or like the array is like, Oh, it's not Godzilla, you fucking stupid foreigner. It is Gojira. And then they say what it means. Yeah. But I hated that the Americans had to give the name back to the Japanese. Yeah.
Matt (20:09.176)
Yeah.
Matt (20:14.444)
Yes, yeah, it's dumb. So, so, and then, you know, this... I'm trying to piece this together because there's a lot going on in this. I think now we're at the point where Godzilla has made it into the middle of Tokyo, or mostly... As far as he's gonna make it, let's put it. He makes it to his final, like, he... Well, he kind of just chills. He chills. And, um...
Spencer (20:20.47)
That was a five to 10 minute scene of Eric Goll discussing the name.
Luciano (20:35.054)
Yeah. And he parks. He, he parks.
Spencer (20:39.093)
No, no, no.
Matt (20:43.92)
They attempt to use, so actually before this, they've attempted to use military force to stop them. The Self Defense Force, I don't know why they call it that, of Japan take some cracks at stopping them with like attack copters with the tiniest bullets known to man. And they use some tanks.
Spencer (21:00.235)
They gradually increase in armament.
Luciano (21:03.422)
Yeah.
Matt (21:03.736)
Yeah, it's so slow. And finally, that all fails and a couple of copters get blown up and Godzilla starts sniping off some stuff to let them know he's not cool with this. So then the US military apparently just has an aircraft carrier off the coast of Japan for reasons and they bring bombers. They bring stealth bombers which...
Luciano (21:22.876)
Stout for... I mean everybody knows Godzilla has radars. Famously. Yeah.
Matt (21:27.592)
famously.
Spencer (21:27.722)
Yeah, hurt for dramatic effect.
Matt (21:31.108)
All of those, the scales on his back are actually radar dishes.
Luciano (21:34.146)
Yeah, exactly. So then they have to be stealth otherwise. Well, it didn't matter because at the end, even with them being stealth...
Spencer (21:39.806)
Yeah, he just fucking nailed them without being able to look at them.
Luciano (21:44.914)
Yeah.
Matt (21:45.516)
Um, so the US bombs, actually the US apparently cuts into them with their bombs they drop. You can see the blood is drawn. And
Luciano (21:54.563)
Yeah, why did the explosions make blood gush out like that? Alright.
Matt (21:59.024)
You don't- you don't- do you not know how bombs work?
Spencer (22:01.025)
They came out of his gills.
Luciano (22:01.59)
I guess that's why I'm asking. Hahahaha Anyway, you were saying?
Matt (22:03.708)
Hehehehe, yeah.
So they do it, they bomb, they bomb, uh, Cotshell. And he gets fucking pissed. He starts popping off. He gets a beam weapon out of his mouth. He starts, he's beaming, beam weaponing buildings, people, shit. And then, helicopters, yeah, he's really beaming everywhere. Um.
Luciano (22:10.856)
And he gets pissed. Yeah.
Spencer (22:16.851)
Yo, bitch! It starts popping off.
Luciano (22:19.094)
Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (22:24.854)
fuckin' beamin' steven willy beamin' over here uh... steven willy beamin'
Luciano (22:27.266)
Helicopters with people in them.
Matt (22:35.856)
And then all of a sudden he escalates to where all of his back radar dishes just start firing lasers into the sky like a fucking EDM concert.
Luciano (22:43.063)
Yeah.
Spencer (22:43.61)
Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (22:46.426)
It was 100% a rave. It's a rave. It's a rave. 100%. It changes color. Like, yeah.
Matt (22:49.112)
Yeah, it's a full on rave. So those stealth bombers, these stealth bombers that, by my understanding, travel hundreds and hundreds of kilometers an hour, breaking the speed limit when they need to, he pops them all out of the sky. Cause there's, sky speed limit, yeah.
Luciano (23:03.682)
Yeah. But... Yeah.
Spencer (23:04.787)
The speed limit of the sky? The sky speed limit? What is that? They're going.
Matt (23:12.232)
Well, it's apparently... But in Japan, the sky is very slow, because Godzilla hits every single stealth bomber in the sky and knocks them up. They're just hovering above him, circling.
Luciano (23:13.27)
Any other place, they would be fined, but here it's okay.
Spencer (23:15.502)
They're going 500 into 400, okay? They can't do that.
Luciano (23:21.472)
Ha ha!
Yeah, it's very rigid. It's very rigid.
Spencer (23:24.61)
Okay, yeah.
Luciano (23:29.958)
Yeah, it's the advantage of overkill, right? There's no kill like overkill. So Godzilla's like these dishes on my back are not getting the stealth bombers. I'm just going to shoot lasers everywhere. I'm going to get something.
Spencer (23:32.13)
Yeah.
Matt (23:43.3)
Yup. Yeah. Uh, ad infinitum. The lasers going forever. We don't see where they stop. And this is where you see some people die. Cause there's people like in their apartment building packing up and then Godzilla just fucking slices their building in half. And you see them like slide out the window to die. Yeah. This is so bad.
Spencer (23:43.627)
and he gets all of them.
Luciano (23:48.266)
Yeah.
Luciano (23:53.666)
Yeah. No, they're packing up. They're packing up in the slowest, most like parsimonious way.
Spencer (24:03.078)
Yeah, yeah, no, honey, you know where my toothbrush is? I thought, I swear it was him. Brrr.
Should have just brought Listerine!
Luciano (24:16.03)
Yeah. Also, I think this movie has a problem with extras because like that's the only apartment we'd see people fall like it's a huge building, but we only see that one family. And then afterwards, there's a scene where they're showing like this just unbelievable amount of destruction right after the attack. And there's like three people picking through the like the wreckage that would take like 3000 people to pick through. There's like three people like moving debris from one side to the other, not doing anything really.
Spencer (24:31.072)
Yes.
Spencer (24:34.716)
Yeah, don't-
Spencer (24:38.379)
Yeah, this...
Spencer (24:43.138)
The city felt lifeless, truly. It's like a video game where you go out and it just feels like they underdeveloped the open world. We have a gigantic open world that goes on for 50 miles and it's just grass. That's what it was like. The cities are just buildings and you see some stock footage of people running into the subway, but you don't.
Luciano (24:45.85)
Yes.
Matt (24:46.261)
Yeah.
Luciano (24:52.518)
Yeah. And no nobody in it. Yeah.
Luciano (25:10.258)
They even did the anime thing of repeating scenes, like towards the end when they're like hooking the hoses, like they show that scene two or three times, and it's literally exactly the same scene every time.
Matt (25:13.976)
Oh yeah, 100%.
Spencer (25:24.134)
Yeah, it's this movie reeks of budget issues.
Matt (25:25.136)
Um, so we should point out at this point, it does, we should point out at this point after Godzilla throws his EDM rave party and he also unsurprisingly catches the Prime Minister's helicopter and just vaporizes the entire thing losing like the Prime Minister and the top twenty like cabinet ministers which you know is the first rule of how you don't evacuate.
Luciano (25:29.805)
Yes.
Luciano (25:41.232)
Yeah.
Spencer (25:42.462)
Yes.
Matt (25:51.58)
the government by putting them all in the same tiny helicopter, but that's neither nor there.
Spencer (25:53.585)
Yeah.
Luciano (25:55.414)
Not only did they evacuate the most important people altogether in a single helicopter, but the people that were actually responsible for running the program or operation to go against Godzilla, they're like, you know what? The city is chaos. There's destruction everywhere. You know what we're going to do? We're going to take a car. We're going to drive to this other place for reasons.
Matt (26:13.656)
Yeah. We're going to drive into the largest traffic jam in the entire world in the history of time and space.
Luciano (26:19.022)
In the history of world, yeah. And then immediately they go, huh, the traffic is so bad, who would have thought? Ha ha ha. Oh my God. I was so pissed at that scene. I was like, what the fuck was the point of this?
Spencer (26:28.255)
Rush Hour, am I right?
Matt (26:36.464)
This also reminds me that they spent a lot of time showing us buses. We see buses, there are buses leaving like a parking lot, they fill the entire freeway. We see buses loaded onto an aircraft carrier. I don't know how they got on there, but there's a bunch of them on the aircraft carrier. And we see buses of people everywhere. That's them evacuating very slowly. So presidents dead. They elect, they fight.
Luciano (26:42.011)
Yes.
Spencer (26:52.994)
Hehehe
Luciano (26:54.702)
Yeah.
Luciano (27:03.463)
Prime Minister.
Matt (27:04.892)
Sorry, Prime Minister, thank you. Prime Minister is dead. They found the oldest Japanese man left in cabinet and elected him the new Prime Minister.
Luciano (27:10.942)
Yes. Who's the bumbliest fool we have? That's the guy.
Matt (27:14.712)
Right. Great. And so they go back to the bureaucracy, finds a new windowless room, gets back to work.
Spencer (27:21.776)
It gets right back gets we get right back to work doing the important things
Luciano (27:22.052)
Hahaha!
Matt (27:27.052)
And this is when two things happen. They find, they get papers, they get the papers from Goro on what he knows about Godzilla, and we need papers.
Spencer (27:34.242)
Well, if we're gonna be Godzilla, we need papers. We need papers, we need pens, we need calculators. We need vanilla envelopes. We need them stat, goddammit. Post-its.
Luciano (27:37.438)
Yeah. We need more bureaucracy, that's how we beat Godzilla.
Matt (27:41.8)
We needed laptops, a bunch of old busted-ass laptops. Yeah.
They find a solution.
Luciano (27:50.171)
Don't forget, slightly before this, the main character, so to speak, assembles a team of people to kind of deal after he proved twice that the old fools were fools. And he's like, yeah, this is a creature. We have to deal with this. And they put together this team and the guy that is like the second in command says one of the cringiest lines, I wrote it down.
one of the cringiest lines I've ever seen in my life. He says, we're a crack team of lone wolves, nerds, troublemakers, outcasts, academic heretics, and general pains in the bureaucracy. That is like, I was like, nobody in the history of space and time has ever said that line ever.
Matt (28:21.155)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (28:32.448)
In his defense, the Japanese English translation is a little rocky.
Spencer (28:33.812)
That's how I describe our podcast.
Luciano (28:39.862)
Maybe. I don't think that this was much better in the original Japanese. I don't speak the language, but I have a feeling it was just as cringy.
Spencer (28:45.206)
Now when people say, who's on your podcast? I say we're a group of outcasts, losers, nerds, lone wolves. And we make our own path. You either get on or get out of the way.
Luciano (28:52.162)
and lone wolves and pains in the bureaucracy
Luciano (28:59.146)
Oh god, yeah. They have a lot of laptops and a lot of papers to kill Godzilla. That's true.
Matt (29:02.94)
So, good point. They do, don't worry, they leave them behind. It's not important. But they do get these papers, and this paper is all this information they can't figure out about Godzilla. And like any good movie about Japan, one of the scientists finally figures out, they just need to use origami to figure out the secret scientist's code. Because, you know, if you're researching
Luciano (29:23.314)
Hahaha!
Spencer (29:24.844)
Naturally.
Luciano (29:26.743)
No, of course, what else would it be?
Matt (29:31.692)
a dangerous radioactive creature, you would put all your information in code just in case anybody found it. You didn't make it!
Luciano (29:37.762)
Yeah, you wouldn't want them you wouldn't want them to know how to use it
Matt (29:42.36)
No, because you didn't, like you didn't, it's not like you created this creature. You did not create this creature, you just discovered it. Um, so it's important that no one figures out how to do anything with it. Um, I think.
Luciano (29:46.424)
No. Yes.
Spencer (29:51.19)
Well, you want to make sure that if someone figures it out, they know origami. That way, you know, you can trust them. Yes.
Luciano (29:54.59)
They... yeah. They have to deserve it.
Matt (29:55.74)
video.
You need to be pure blood Japanese, and the only way to prove it is you know origami.
Luciano (30:04.855)
Oh no. Oh no. Origami power.
Spencer (30:06.739)
That's the only way.
Matt (30:10.76)
Ha ha ha.
You know what, I think this has been a lot. We've been like a half an hour of us explaining this movie and we're not done. So we need to pause. We need to just pause and reset here. And I think a good pilot cleanser would be for us to take a pause and do a little segment as to call, did you even watch this movie with Spencer? So Spencer, did you even watch this movie?
Spencer (30:16.926)
Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?
Spencer (30:35.778)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (30:36.51)
Hahaha!
Spencer (30:40.522)
I mean, yeah, like, of course I watched it. There was a, there's a Godzilla. I mean, like you said, there's a raccoon, the dead eyes. No, I did watch this movie and I regret it oh so much. And I'd like to just, listen, as exciting as this entire recap is, let's just get to the bare bones, okay?
Luciano (31:00.875)
Hahaha
Spencer (31:10.23)
Let's just jump right in. Godzilla comes. They meet to discuss Godzilla. Nobody believes them.
Matt (31:16.052)
Mm-hmm. Sure do. Right.
Spencer (31:21.074)
There's footage of it and the government can't get access to it. Except for one guy who's on Twitter apparently or whatever. And he's like, they have footage, it's everywhere. No, it must be a steam pipe burst. There's a lizard walking downtown Tokyo. Sounds like kids pulling off pranks. Once they confirm it is Godzilla, they move to another conference room.
Matt (31:23.796)
Mm-hmm. Correct.
Yep.
Luciano (31:29.68)
Yes.
Luciano (31:36.098)
Yeah. No, it must be your impression.
Spencer (31:47.934)
I counted they moved conference rooms three times in the first 20 minutes of this movie. That was their set pieces was the moving from conference room to conference room. This goes on for I think how long would you say was the before like the Godzilla action? Would you say 50 minutes? It was like a good solid hour before Godzilla arrives. Godzilla arrives. As Matt described, they bomb them, they bomb them, they bomb them. He shoots lasers out of his back.
Luciano (32:06.17)
Yeah, something like that. Like an hour at least. Yeah.
Matt (32:06.509)
At least. Yeah.
Yep.
Spencer (32:18.91)
and I shit you not, he goes to sleep afterwards. Godzilla takes a nap and what do they do? They go back to their meetings and they go back to the, this is where the movie completely, as a viewer, you're watching it, you're like, when the fuck is Godzilla gonna fuck shit up, right? That's what you must be what everyone's thinking who's seen this movie. He comes in, he fucked shit up for like 10 minutes and then it went back to the bureaucracy and I was like,
Luciano (32:24.882)
Ha ha!
Matt (32:40.668)
Yep, sure. It's a Godzilla movie, of course.
Spencer (32:48.966)
No, this isn't happening. They're not going back to the conference room.
Matt (32:53.612)
Spencer, I don't know if you know this, but the word shin in Japanese is bureaucracy. In English.
Luciano (33:01.53)
He means red tape.
Spencer (33:02.096)
I would believe you. Yeah. And after he goes to sleep, there's literally a line where I'm like, well, Godzilla is like gonna fucking wake up because the action started now he's gonna be back at it in like 10 minutes. They're like, we ran the calculations Godzilla is gonna be back up and running in 14 days. I was like, 14 days.
Luciano (33:22.814)
Hahaha!
Matt (33:24.793)
Yeah
Spencer (33:26.09)
Like this movie is insane. He's gonna be sleeping in the middle of Tokyo for 14 days. And they still don't fully evacuate the city. This, this, the government is just a shit show. Essentially, we'll get into the ending. But, yes.
Matt (33:42.733)
Spencer, did you watch the movie?
Spencer (33:46.162)
I watched the movie. I did watch the movie. You know, I'm gonna be honest though. I think by the time that Godzilla went to, took his 14 day nap, I was, I was out. I was out. I kept it on, but I was like, I couldn't take it. There was, I'm gonna have to defer to you guys in terms of some of the characters, because I was like, I mean, I don't understand. Like,
Luciano (33:47.394)
haha
Matt (33:57.743)
Mm-hmm. You stop watching the movie. Yeah.
Luciano (34:10.408)
hahahaha
Matt (34:10.922)
Hehehehe
Spencer (34:15.87)
what this theme was. And I wanna get into it later about the themes of this film. But I would say, final answer, I watched the movie. I'm sticking to it.
Matt (34:28.776)
Great, and that has been, did you even watch this movie? With Spencer. Let's speed this up here real quick because I think we're at the end anyways. It's another hour but we'll just pop it off real quick. Godzilla sleeps for two weeks. The Americans decide it's a great idea to bomb Japan one more time. They force them to let themselves be bombed through the UN because obviously.
Luciano (34:34.427)
Nice.
Spencer (34:45.71)
Ha ha ha!
Luciano (34:52.571)
and they take over control of the government. Or they would.
Matt (34:56.748)
Yeah, they try to take over the control of the government and yeah. And so basically the new prime minister is like, hey, how do I let the US take control of Japan? That's one of his questions.
Luciano (35:06.243)
Yeah.
Spencer (35:06.414)
haha
Luciano (35:10.087)
Yeah.
Matt (35:11.824)
And then we learn about this anti or is it anti coagulant or coagulant plan who knows? Long story short they're gonna freeze Godzilla and they have to That's what it does. Yeah, sure. So and then they got to make all this they figure out that it can work from the origami news reports and so They
Spencer (35:16.554)
No, it's just a coagulant.
Luciano (35:17.726)
Coagulant, it's a coagulant.
Spencer (35:21.774)
Coagulant means freeze in this movie
Luciano (35:24.354)
Yeah.
Luciano (35:34.106)
It's not a news report. It's, it's not a news report. It's an origami research.
Spencer (35:34.129)
These are real words and real story points. Matt is not having a seizure. He's saying real story points.
Matt (35:39.464)
fair. It's right. It's the origami. It's the origami research project nets them the coagulant will probably have a good chance of succeeding. They got to go find a bunch of they got to go bureaucracize to get a bunch of the coagulant made by a bunch of different. Do they make it in different countries?
Luciano (35:45.112)
Yes.
Luciano (35:57.386)
Yes, and in different places and yeah.
Spencer (35:57.518)
They make it public.
Matt (36:00.244)
Yeah, yeah, they make it public and they make it in different countries because listen, you know, it takes doesn't take time Shipping large containers of coagulant across the world not important And then they come up with their plan they drive a subway into Godzilla's foot he falls over They beat him up until he runs out of energy again They drive a bunch of trucks and they basically have like garden hoses on these trucks and spray the coagulant into his mouth He leaves it open the entire time
Spencer (36:06.402)
Heheheheh...
Luciano (36:28.612)
Yeah.
Matt (36:28.932)
At one point, he gets a little testy and laser beams a couple of them, but he's too tired to go on and they just spray it into him and then he gets up and he's almost going to kill everybody. He freezes and there's a tiny human being trying to climb. He freezes instantaneously. And you know he's frozen because like snow and ice vapors are coming off his body. That's how freezing works.
Luciano (36:38.466)
instantaneously. He finishes instantaneously.
Luciano (36:45.902)
Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (36:49.022)
And you may ask yourself, Matt said, they beat up Godzilla till he lost energy. And you may ask, how'd they beat him up? Didn't he just describe them bombing him with everything? And the answer to that is yes. Good question.
Luciano (36:57.074)
How? Yeah.
Matt (37:04.272)
Yeah, everything. Bombs, they bombed them with buildings. They bombed them with trains or subway cars.
Luciano (37:07.758)
Yeah. They bombed him with missiles launched from ships that hit buildings that fall on him.
Matt (37:14.964)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, don't hit Godzilla with the cruise missile. Hit the building so the building falls on Godzilla so he doesn't know it was you.
Spencer (37:16.566)
And you...
Luciano (37:18.55)
Exactly. And then he kills. So he is very resistant to explosives, but he has very poor sense of balance. That's what we learned.
Matt (37:27.088)
Right. The worst. And then it works. And they also happen to prevent tiny humans with looks like they have Godzilla dorsal fins from Call me out of Godzilla. Yay bureaucracy!
Spencer (37:43.186)
We did it!
Luciano (37:44.586)
And at the end we learn that humanity now must learn to live together with Godzilla for some reason. Yeah, because it's gonna come back. Otherwise there wouldn't be a sequel. Yeah.
Matt (37:45.308)
We did it.
Matt (37:51.284)
The frozen... I mean... It's gonna melt, obviously. Um, okay, so let's... We have a plot hole to talk about. And this stuff... this stuff tells nicely into it. You're welcome. It was the only way to make sure everybody understood the movie, because I don't think anybody's gonna watch it. And now you understand what we've done.
Spencer (38:02.902)
Fuck you, Matt. That felt like reliving it. I hate that so much.
Spencer (38:12.47)
DON'T.
Luciano (38:16.147)
I hope that if we accomplish one thing today is that we encourage people not to watch this. Please.
Spencer (38:23.346)
If even one person who is planning to see Shin Godzilla doesn't, we can go home happy today.
Luciano (38:28.088)
Yeah, our work is done.
Yeah, exactly.
Matt (38:34.48)
So, you're right. I think we're trying to do a public service for everybody. And if we've left off a good spot, the ending of the movie, because, we left off in a good spot for our plot hole section because the main plot hole, there's a lot going on here, but the main plot hole we could figure out is science. This movie has a real problem with science and how it works.
Spencer (38:40.79)
The word hero gets thrown around a lot these days.
Luciano (38:57.182)
Just the concept of science, yes.
Spencer (39:00.666)
Hehehe
Matt (39:03.484)
We've laid out many cases already. We've laid out the idea that coagulant can freeze a body. We've laid out the idea that Godzilla has to sleep for what, 14 days, two weeks. And then they, he wakes up and they can drop buildings on him and he goes right back to sleep. That's not even the science thing. It just pissed me off so much. I can't keep talking about it. But so back to the science. They say a lot of sciencey buzzwords at all times about.
Luciano (39:15.39)
Two weeks? Yeah.
Luciano (39:23.243)
Hahaha!
Spencer (39:23.502)
Hehehehehehe
Matt (39:31.152)
You know, Godzilla and like he has gamma radiation in him or he's made of powered by gamma radiation. Um, it's just, it's all nonsense. It's so much nonsense and nothing works. And we talked about the laser beams that go on into the sky forever. Like, it's not like a laser blast. It's just a straight beam that is on or off. I assume he did. That's how it works. And those laser beams definitely exceeded.
Luciano (39:41.058)
Yeah, nothing works in this movie as far as science goes.
Luciano (39:49.782)
No, yeah, I think he probably sliced the moon in that in that way.
Matt (39:59.624)
the airspeed limit around Tokyo.
Luciano (40:01.466)
Oh, so he... yeah, he went against the bureaucracy. Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (40:01.506)
That may be the worst thing he did.
Matt (40:05.06)
It was. That was his only real crime. As far as I'm concerned.
Spencer (40:07.286)
Hahaha!
Spencer (40:11.19)
Too far.
Matt (40:13.288)
But like, so let's talk about, let's unpack a little bit of the problematic science. We understand when you're telling a, you know, science fiction movie as this is, you wanna have a little bit of leeway, but this movie sets itself up to be essentially Earth. And it's an alternate Earth in the sense that, you know, Kaiju exists, but it's Earth. And so they have the same knowledge level and resources as Earth does.
Luciano (40:38.407)
Yeah.
Spencer (40:39.982)
It's like Earth but boring.
Matt (40:43.004)
And yet, they don't know how science works or they can't find the right words. Like, again, translation is notwithstanding. Like, there's gotta be a better word than coagulant for what they're attempting to do to Godzilla.
Luciano (40:51.841)
Yeah.
Luciano (40:59.594)
Yeah, because they talk like ever since they find that thing because that's the whole point of the us coming in They're like, oh we know that there's this guy who knows about godzilla and he has a plan or he studied godzilla somehow And he was the only one he alone was as a zoologist was able to figure all this shit up Exactly the anti-nuclear zoologist was able to figure all this shit out, but nobody else is
Spencer (41:17.809)
an antinuclear through all this
Matt (41:21.446)
I
Matt (41:25.072)
Luciano, I just want to say that we don't know where he went, but he was in Tokyo Bay. When they go on that ship at the very beginning of the movie and the ship's empty, that's Goro's ship.
Luciano (41:34.267)
Right.
Luciano (41:38.094)
Yeah. And he goes, do what you wish with whatever that means. Yeah. And, and it's like, okay, so they figured it out. Yeah, he is. And then they figure out that ever since they picked that up, they say, Oh, we have this plan to do coagulate his blood coagulate his blood coagulate. And you would assume that you would kill him because the blood doesn't flow anymore, which makes sense. Yeah.
Matt (41:40.912)
Yeah.
Spencer (41:45.092)
What an asshole
Spencer (41:58.59)
It's like, yeah, it's like too thick and it can't. I was like, OK, I get that.
Luciano (42:03.786)
And then they do the little fucking, you know how you have, when you have a pet and you have to give it an injection or like medicine, that's what they did with Godzilla. Just squirting medicine. It's like, no, don't bite, don't bite. Yeah, that's exactly what it did. And then they inject it and then it starts moving slowly. And I was like, why is it moving slowly? And then.
Spencer (42:10.488)
Yes.
Yeah, like, stop. No, no, stop it. And stop, hey, it's good for you.
Spencer (42:31.054)
He's coagulating.
Luciano (42:31.626)
All of a sudden, he's standing up, he's like, oh shit, he's gonna fuck things up. And then he instantly freezes, like someone doused him in liquid nitrogen. I was like, what the fuck happened there?
Matt (42:32.785)
It's freezing.
Spencer (42:37.122)
Hehehehe
Matt (42:43.451)
You know how coagulants coagulate?
Luciano (42:45.57)
Yeah, they also freeze. I love that they go, they measure it somehow, they go minus 196 degrees. And like, how did they do that in like, with the coagulant, they made him freeze that much in open air? Like what the fuck is going on? And I don't know.
Spencer (42:46.319)
Bye!
Matt (42:48.264)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (43:10.056)
Can I ask you a question?
Luciano (43:11.294)
Sure.
Matt (43:13.076)
Do you think that Demolition Man understands how freezing people works better than this movie?
Spencer (43:19.2)
Yes.
Luciano (43:20.544)
100% What's his name? Simon? What's his face? Phoenix. That's what they need in this movie.
Matt (43:23.56)
Cause like when, Simon Phoenix. Yeah. Cause like when they, when they, when, you know, Simon Phoenix gets frozen and then, and then he kicks him and he shatters. Like that's, like I said, he's not alive anymore. If you froze him, he's not alive. This isn't.
Luciano (43:32.399)
Yeah.
Right.
Luciano (43:41.194)
It's not cryogenics. Yeah.
Spencer (43:41.439)
No, he didn't freeze him, he coagulated him, and then kicked him.
Matt (43:43.46)
Yeah. Right, okay. So is coagulating a Godzilla, is that cryogenics? Or is it demolition man frozen? That's it, that's the scale. You gotta pick one, tell me which one it is. I don't understand.
Luciano (43:45.798)
but then he froze and he had minus 196 degrees.
Luciano (43:57.882)
No, it's neither. It's...
Spencer (44:01.578)
It's a fucking poison!
Spencer (44:06.178)
Ha ha ha.
Luciano (44:08.342)
It is the okay so the way that they did it is definitely demolition and freezing
Matt (44:13.712)
Okay, great. So.
Luciano (44:14.434)
Yeah, all of those scientists don't know what coagulation means basically.
Spencer (44:14.85)
with a butt.
It's like, you know, like when they put like poison, like snake venom in blood and you see the blood coagulates, it like becomes like almost like thick foam, you know? And that's what I thought they were gonna, they were doing. I was like, oh, they're kinda like poisoning him.
Matt (44:18.76)
So, like it.
Luciano (44:27.558)
Right. Yeah, that's what I thought too. But turns out that when you coagulate blood, it also goes to almost minus 200 degrees. Yeah, so bad. Also, can we talk, unless we want to talk a lot about the coagulation, can we talk about how bombs work, like explosions work? Because.
Matt (44:31.324)
Yeah, they did.
Spencer (44:38.774)
Hate when that happens.
Matt (44:43.188)
Okay. Yeah.
Spencer (44:49.224)
I didn't do it.
Spencer (44:53.162)
Luciano, what's your boggle? What seems to be your boggle?
Luciano (45:00.146)
Yeah.
Matt (45:00.17)
I don't understand, obviously, if you can talk about bombs, but they work fine. They explode. Yeah.
Luciano (45:03.29)
Like they sh... No, not in this movie. I mean, they explode in this movie. But like at the first time when they shoot Godzilla with like missiles and shit, doesn't even break a stride, right? And then they don't. Yeah, why? Why is it that bombs dropped from the American ships works, but the bombs shot from the Japanese ones don't?
Spencer (45:04.962)
They explode.
Matt (45:15.912)
Correct. Well, no, they drop bombs, and that does.
Spencer (45:28.246)
those bomb for Patriots.
Matt (45:28.604)
because Americans have big giant missiles that everybody loves and the Japanese have tiny little missiles that don't get the job done.
Luciano (45:30.485)
Hahaha!
Luciano (45:37.892)
I see.
Spencer (45:39.622)
Oh, say can you see? Hehe
Luciano (45:41.582)
Oh no. Oh no. Did you actually go there?
Matt (45:49.001)
This movie's pro-America. New power.
Luciano (45:51.062)
Definitely. But also not pro-America because, you know.
Spencer (45:56.286)
I don't know what this movie is. It's both pro and against so many things.
Luciano (45:58.474)
Yeah. And then like they drop those bombs from the stealth bombers that they flew to full Godzilla's radar and the bombs hit him in the back on the antennas and then he bleeds from them.
Matt (46:15.8)
Yeah. Yeah, the bombs don't explode. Well, I guess, I mean, they do explode, but it's not the explosion that makes them bleed so much as like, they're like sword bombs that like stab into his back. Yeah. Knife bombs. It's like, what is it, the, with the sword guns from Final Fantasy? Knife bombs.
Luciano (46:19.68)
Yeah, I know.
Luciano (46:25.898)
Yeah, that's what it looks like, right? Like they're dropping knives at him or whatever. Yeah knife bombs
Luciano (46:38.07)
Yeah, there you go. That's explained. Yeah, but then, but then they, they drive trains full of bombs, I guess, into Godzilla and that does something somehow.
Spencer (46:42.306)
Done. Idiot.
Matt (46:43.847)
Anything else?
Okay.
Spencer (46:50.654)
My biggest issue with the train bombs was how they, for the audience, they jump the trains. They're like driving trains full of bombs at Godzilla. And then right before Godzilla, they go off like a half pipe ramp, like imagine like a skateboard, like half pipe, and they go whoop, and they go up, and then they explode like about hip high with Godzilla. And that happens with every train every time.
Matt (46:51.4)
Well...
Matt (46:54.856)
Jump.
Luciano (47:05.094)
Like a ramp? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (47:07.474)
Yep, yeah.
Luciano (47:15.388)
Yeah.
Spencer (47:20.534)
And I was like, wait, how did they get this set up? Was this the existing setup of the train system?
Matt (47:20.776)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (47:21.149)
Yeah.
Matt (47:24.389)
And that...
Luciano (47:27.318)
Yeah, it's just to make commute be a little bit more entertaining. Yeah.
Matt (47:27.773)
Yes.
Spencer (47:31.724)
A little more exciting. There's like a huge ramp. Loopedie Loops, they got it all.
Matt (47:38.556)
Well, and the interesting thing about that is those train bombs make Godzilla fall over.
Luciano (47:44.526)
Yeah, exactly. He has weak hips is what we find out. Yeah.
Spencer (47:45.73)
That was the thing that bugged me the most.
Spencer (47:50.366)
It's got hip dysplasia Help I'm falling and I can't get up He needs life alert Do you wear loved one My bones are aching Annie storms coming Yeah, the Is the greatest concept of ever
Matt (47:52.139)
He...
Luciano (47:57.863)
Ha ha!
Matt (47:57.916)
That's why he was napping for so long. His hips just ached and he's like, I can't storms coming. I gotta, I gotta settle down.
Luciano (48:04.345)
Yeah, the rain is making it make an ache.
Matt (48:13.053)
Hehehe
Luciano (48:13.339)
Yeah.
Luciano (48:19.243)
Hahaha!
Spencer (48:20.106)
Yes, that thing bugged me the most. It's like literally like two scenes earlier. Sorry, not two scenes, 40 minutes of talking earlier. Godzilla was hit with every bomb known to man and like barely, like he didn't break a stride. Like it was like, he was like an unstoppable machine. And in the movie, once they have a plan to coagulate him, they put an explosive hip high, this displaced hip and he like literally like.
Luciano (48:28.42)
Yeah.
Luciano (48:33.219)
Nothing happened.
Yeah.
Matt (48:35.917)
Nope. Yep.
Luciano (48:38.321)
Yeah.
Matt (48:47.766)
Heheheheh
Spencer (48:47.982)
collapses and like can't move and it's like we've got them to use all his power. I'm like wait when could we do this? Why is that we should have been doing that from the beginning?
Luciano (48:50.213)
Ha ha
Luciano (48:56.79)
Yeah. Well, it's the trains, right? Exploding at hip height. And also, yeah. And then also the buildings fall. Like they planted bombs into like five or six high rise buildings around them. When they were scared to get close to him, right? They were like, oh, he's 30 kilometers away. Aren't you scared? And the guy was like, yeah, we should probably move this somewhere. But they're like, no, we're going to do it. We're going to get a bunch of bombing.
Spencer (49:02.823)
Yeah, bye man! We'll get ya!
Matt (49:14.705)
Yes.
Correct.
Luciano (49:26.338)
up a bunch of buildings right around Godzilla. We don't know when he's gonna actually wake up. We think it's in 14 days. It could be 28 days, given the pace of this fucking movie. And then they bomb the building so that they fall on him. How do they know that he's gonna fall? Nobody knows. But then they leave one building out there like this building is different. This building needs a miss a ballistic missile from a carrier to topple it over. The other ones we can bomb, but this one
needs to be hit by a missile. And... They... Oh, they couldn't bomb because it was the embassy. I see.
Matt (49:58.404)
ran out of time. Yeah.
Spencer (49:58.666)
It's a U.S. Embassy. Like legally, it's illegal.
Matt (50:05.88)
It needs to, the missile has been endowed with the legal freedom to explode it.
Luciano (50:14.954)
in the US soil, which is the embassies.
Spencer (50:16.202)
on US Oil.
Matt (50:16.777)
On you. Yeah, the missiles US oil
Luciano (50:19.766)
The missile is US soil. It's carrying a little bit of... They put a little bit of dirt inside the missile. So now it's US soil.
Matt (50:21.86)
Yeah, so when it falls over...
Spencer (50:22.252)
hahahaha
Spencer (50:26.336)
Yeah
Matt (50:26.528)
Yes. And so when the building falls over, it's always on US soil.
Luciano (50:31.651)
Ah, I see. So what you're saying is when the US goes and bombs Godzilla, they're bombing a little bit of US soil too.
Matt (50:33.905)
You get.
Matt (50:41.328)
Yeah, because they're trying to claim like righteous domain over Godzilla at all times in the movie.
Luciano (50:45.79)
Hahaha! Yeah, they are. They are, yeah.
Spencer (50:46.258)
Wherever they bomb they own they wherever they bomb is legally America. That's just that's just the law then Yeah, and then and once it's us oil they could break the speed limit all they want The air speed limit don't matter. I thought this is America. I thought this is America
Matt (50:52.172)
Yeah, I mean of all the weird shit we've said tonight that is the truest thing we've ever said
Luciano (50:52.423)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Luciano (50:58.747)
Yeah.
Matt (51:05.13)
Air speed limit, ground speed limit, whatever. Don't matter anymore. That's right.
Luciano (51:06.898)
Yeah. I see. Yeah.
Spencer (51:13.442)
Yeah, and so that was probably the most annoying thing. And then again.
Matt (51:17.68)
I have a question, sorry Spencer, I have a question because we're talking about this now.
Spencer (51:20.639)
Yes.
Matt (51:22.472)
How does radiation work in this movie? So a couple of things. Well, OK, great. I'll ask Luciano. Well, one thing, they called it the, well, they didn't call it. The translation said microservience. Do they not use Geiger counters, or like the same scale? Sieverts? OK, maybe that's translation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's on me. That's fine. That's the one thing that got right in the movie.
Luciano (51:24.014)
Yeah, I was gonna ask as well.
Spencer (51:25.846)
like don't ask me in real life or in this.
Luciano (51:39.638)
It's see it's micro sievert. That's, that's, that's the actual, that's the actual unit.
Spencer (51:45.194)
Yeah, you idiot. Duh.
Luciano (51:50.374)
That was probably the only correct thing they did was fire science goals in the movie.
Matt (51:53.348)
Right, the only correct thing. At one point, the team bureaucracy all go up on top of a building to watch all this shit go down in Godzilla. And they are very seriously concerned about the radiation levels around Godzilla. They make several comments about how the radiation levels have exceeded by double, the acceptable radiation levels for the operation coagulant they're pulling off. Just to remind all the listeners at home, we talked about it, but it's important you know.
Luciano (52:03.42)
Yeah.
Luciano (52:14.459)
Right.
Matt (52:23.356)
The backup plan was for the US to once again bomb Japanese soil with a thermonuclear warhead. They actually said thermonuclear. I'm not sure if everybody else here is familiar, but generally nuclear warheads, whether they thermonuclear or otherwise, contain a lot of radiation. Extreme amounts of radiation.
Luciano (52:27.898)
With nukes. Yes. Yeah, they did.
Luciano (52:43.189)
All right. There's...
Spencer (52:43.21)
This place is... no you don't understand Matt, you don't understand. There was so much radiation that they had to nuke it. They had to... yeah you can't... yeah you can't... you can't... once you get too much radiation you can't... you can't get too much, you know? You're already past that... yeah it's like my sex life.
Luciano (52:49.166)
It would cancel each other out. Yeah, it was gonna cancel each other out. Everybody knows this in this movie.
Matt (52:56.724)
Okay, my bad.
Luciano (53:04.398)
Yeah, it circles back and starts going down. Yeah. So much so that they were like, okay, so let's do. Okay. Yeah. They even say like, you know what, let's just let the US nuke Tokyo, I guess that's what they do. And then after Godzilla is dead, the next day, we can start rebuilding that. That's fine. It's like, yeah. What?
Spencer (53:12.879)
Hehe
Matt (53:13.871)
What? We don't have time for that, but what?
Spencer (53:25.056)
Because I have a-
Matt (53:29.507)
Easy peasy.
Spencer (53:30.582)
The leaders of Japan sure have a hard on for nuking Japan throughout this movie. They're like, god damn it.
Luciano (53:35.55)
Yeah, this is a holy Japanese movie. It's not like it's the US making a movie about Japan. This is like Nuke Me Daddy basically.
Spencer (53:45.876)
haha
Matt (53:45.976)
Really?
Luciano (53:51.658)
It's so bad.
Matt (53:53.176)
I'm pretty sure that the male lead said that to Patterson, Kyoko Patterson at one point. Nukmi Senpai? Yeah. You're correct, Spencer. That's what it was. Sometimes I wish we had real titles for these podcasts because it would be Nukmi Senpai for sure.
Luciano (53:56.754)
Kayoko? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nuke me, mommy. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, that's what they said. That's what that's what it was. Yeah.
Spencer (53:57.559)
Nukmi-senpai. Yes, that's what it was. I remember that scene. This was a great, fantastic scene.
Spencer (54:18.43)
Hehe
Luciano (54:19.126)
Yeah, it would. It would. Yeah.
Matt (54:23.396)
Um, okay, any other science plot holes that we see before we try to fix this plot hole?
Spencer (54:29.314)
I mean, we talked about the coagulant a lot. We talked about the, well, we didn't talk that much about his evolving quote unquote. You know, that science didn't really check out.
Luciano (54:29.987)
Uhhh...
Matt (54:39.331)
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Luciano (54:40.196)
Yeah!
Matt (54:42.296)
At no point did he evolve, but he evolved constantly.
Luciano (54:44.95)
Yeah, no, they even say it. Oh, he's evolving before our eyes. And no, he's not. It's called a mutation, buddy. Yeah.
Spencer (54:50.335)
It's... He's growing! Yeah, it's like he's... or he's just growing. I evolved from age 10 to 11 this year. You know, my son... My son has evolved so much in this year. He's evolved pubic hair.
Luciano (54:59.282)
Hahaha!
Matt (55:01.411)
Hehe
Luciano (55:03.256)
Yeah.
Matt (55:09.087)
Yeah, that's how it works. That's how words work, right?
Luciano (55:12.634)
Yeah, of course.
Spencer (55:13.914)
Yeah, that's, that's how it works. I evolved it. I'm evolving. I'm, I'm my beard. So, uh, yeah, basically that sums it up pretty well. That was how they explained him growing.
Matt (55:24.934)
Mm-hmm. Okay, let's...
I think we've covered it. It was a good point to call out the evolving though.
Luciano (55:28.994)
It, that, yeah, the whole, that whole scene where he gets pissed off at being bombed and he, he goes from like having like hot air breath and then immediately becomes fire and immediately goes, you know, what would be nice is if I concentrated all of this fire into a single point and then magically became a laser.
Matt (55:51.142)
Mm-hmm.
Spencer (55:51.99)
You know what? I'm gonna call, what's the word I'm looking for? I'm gonna call shenanigans. I'm gonna call, what do they do in sports? I'm gonna call a red card on you. Yeah, that's not the word I'm looking for, but an audible, that's the word I was looking for. I'm gonna call an audible on that one. That scene was the best scene in the movie. It was the only good scene in the movie. And I saw it as Godzilla's breath just like.
Matt (55:57.584)
shenanigans.
Luciano (56:04.156)
of uh
Matt (56:04.468)
penalty.
Matt (56:08.398)
Red card? Uh... Kay?
Luciano (56:08.775)
An audible.
Luciano (56:13.726)
True.
Spencer (56:20.418)
getting more condensed and hotter. Like it started off like normal, and it was like shh, just like getting to fight it until it became a laser beam. And when it became a laser beam, it was like, it had this really cool sound effect. It was like almost like a lightsaber. And that whole shit was fucking dope. And I was like.
Luciano (56:22.778)
Yeah, that's what it was.
Luciano (56:30.811)
Yeah, it does.
So I'd be fine with all of that if it didn't become purple all of a sudden for no good reason. If it was white or even the coral of fire, I'd be okay with it. It was like, no, you know what we need? We need this to be a race.
Spencer (56:41.706)
Listen, it looked cool.
Matt (56:49.864)
This isn't, this isn't, it is bluey purple. This isn't an episode of I'm actually a nerd rant with Luciano, that's fine, we're fine.
Spencer (56:50.119)
Was it purple or blueish?
Luciano (56:51.962)
It was purple. It was.
Spencer (56:56.927)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (56:58.51)
I don't care. It just pissed me off. That scene was cool. I agree. That scene was cool. The scene where he turns the mouth beam and kills the bombers. That scene was cool. I agree.
Spencer (57:00.114)
Listen, you can shit over this movie for a lot of things, but... but fuck you! I will stand by Godzilla shooting lasers.
Matt (57:06.756)
Okay.
Spencer (57:12.06)
Yeah, the city.
Yeah.
Matt (57:15.832)
Okay, so we've established that's very cool. Scientifically, we're gonna allow it. Two points of order. That's right, two points of order. One, Spencer, all the things you said about sports were wrong. What you did, you threw a challenge flag to challenge Luciano's point, just to get the sport somewhere near making sense. Secondarily.
Spencer (57:19.978)
I will allow it for coolness factor.
Luciano (57:20.161)
Yes.
Luciano (57:27.995)
Ha ha!
Spencer (57:28.604)
Thank you.
Spencer (57:31.911)
Thank you.
Luciano (57:36.943)
Yes.
Spencer (57:38.006)
I scored a touchdown for two innings.
Matt (57:41.972)
Great. Secondarily, let's... That's great. Actually, basketball has quarters, you idiot. So you nailed it. No, but Lucy... It's like, oh my God. It's like you don't... Plot holes! Let's wrap this up. Ha ha ha.
Luciano (57:42.358)
Yeah, and won that quarter of basketball. I know. I know it does, but the other two terms are not basketball. That's what I'm saying.
Spencer (57:48.838)
the
Spencer (57:54.242)
Heh.
Luciano (57:59.992)
Alright.
Spencer (58:00.78)
Challenge card!
Luciano (58:04.907)
Audible!
Matt (58:06.76)
How do we... Oh, God. I'm gonna put a timeline on this because we don't have time. You got a minute each to fix the scientific plot holes in this movie. Spencer's got this. You're gonna give him two minutes.
Spencer (58:15.074)
Boom, boom, I got it, easy, easy. Yeah. Okay, I'm fixing all the science issues. All right, start the clock.
Luciano (58:16.594)
Oh, there's no fucking way. Alright, go. Go for it.
Matt (58:25.957)
All of it. All of it.
Spencer (58:30.978)
GO! The main character is Gandalf. It's-
Matt (58:31.68)
Okay, yeah.
Spencer (58:37.303)
Now let me finish.
Luciano (58:37.922)
I mean, he's replacing them. Yeah.
Matt (58:39.314)
Is he Japanese? Japanese Gandalf.
Spencer (58:40.278)
He's Japanese. It's Gandalf spelt differently, pronounced differently. I'm not gonna get into how or what it sounds like because I don't wanna be insulting.
Luciano (58:48.964)
Probably a good idea.
Spencer (58:51.63)
And the female president from the, what was her name? The female Japanese, whatever president wannabe. She wants to be president. It's ambitious. She's actually Oppenheimer.
Matt (58:59.572)
Okay, Yoko, she's not the president, just, okay. Yeah.
Luciano (58:59.599)
K-Keyoko.
She wants to be president.
Matt (59:14.792)
Oh god.
Luciano (59:15.619)
Hahaha!
Spencer (59:17.587)
This is already a way better movie. And yeah, together they create a coagulant. And all you have to say is based in a liquid nitrogen base.
and mythril.
Matt (59:36.961)
Oh my god.
Luciano (59:39.273)
So what you're doing is you're just making it wrong differently.
Spencer (59:42.346)
making it so wrong that it seems intentional. You can't be this wrong while trying to be right. Cause Matt's big point that he said at the beginning, he said they seem to be saying this in the real world to a degree, when it's clearly in a fictional world where bureaucracies are effective.
Luciano (59:45.747)
I see. You're leaning into it. You're leaning into it.
Luciano (59:58.717)
Right.
Luciano (01:00:06.266)
Yeah, that would be the most unbelievable thing.
Spencer (01:00:09.71)
But if this was a real place, they'd all be dead by their third conference meeting They spent so much time I just pictured this movie like Godzilla just hit the city There's another thousand dead. All right, but let's get lunch because we can't have this meeting on an empty stomach
Luciano (01:00:14.854)
Yeah, it's true.
Matt (01:00:27.444)
Spencer, I have a very important question. I think you solved the problem. Do you think that the Eagles will obey the airspeed laws of Japan?
Spencer (01:00:28.237)
Yes.
Spencer (01:00:38.254)
There's one thing you know about the Eagles.
Luciano (01:00:38.502)
Probably. Eagles are known to be lawful good, so yeah.
Spencer (01:00:42.422)
The real question is, why didn't the why didn't the eagle simply fly the coagulant into Godzilla's mouth? Why did they have to walk? Yeah. Why did the fellowship of the coagulant have to walk all the way from Tokyo Bay to Tokyo to throw the coagulant into Godzilla's mouth? That's the question.
Matt (01:00:43.037)
Okay.
Luciano (01:00:48.474)
Yeah, yeah, that's true. Why did they have to fly the people all the way from one conference room to the other conference room? Yeah.
Matt (01:00:50.949)
Heheheheh. Wazer.
Matt (01:01:04.447)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (01:01:04.594)
Uh... You have my laptop! You have my spreadsheet! You- HAH-
Matt (01:01:10.405)
You know what, Spencer? You've solved it. This is the perfect movie.
Luciano (01:01:12.674)
Yeah, Godzilla and the Fellowship of the Coagulant. Yeah.
Spencer (01:01:17.194)
And my pocket protector!
Matt (01:01:21.356)
Great, we've answered all these questions. I want to move on to our special questions, ones where we really dive into the meat of the movie, the important parts of the movie. Okay, let's make this an easy first question. Which government do you think is more ruthless? The Japanese government that exists in this movie, especially the one that like is trying to let the US take over, or the Empire in Star Wars?
Luciano (01:01:28.688)
The important parts, really. Yeah.
Spencer (01:01:48.887)
the original the Darth Vader era that the not the new order.
Luciano (01:01:48.965)
Jesus!
Matt (01:01:56.456)
The Emperor Era.
Spencer (01:01:57.566)
Emperor era. That was pretty cutthroat.
Luciano (01:01:57.757)
Right.
Luciano (01:02:01.132)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:02:01.962)
Because yes, in that, in Star Wars, when someone was killed, like when Vader killed the guy, choked him to death, and then promoted the guy beside him, right? They weren't like cheering. The guy was like, oh shit, right?
Matt (01:02:12.029)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:02:16.502)
Yep.
Luciano (01:02:23.067)
Right, right.
Matt (01:02:23.076)
Yeah, he was, he was, they were all disturbed. Like, you know, yeah.
Spencer (01:02:25.206)
They were disturbed. Now in this movie, 10,000 people died and a spot just opened up literally like 10,000 people died and they're like discussing how this is going to help their business move up in the company.
Luciano (01:02:25.842)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:02:30.987)
Oh, an opening!
Matt (01:02:36.005)
the
Luciano (01:02:36.423)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:02:39.8)
I agree.
Matt (01:02:42.602)
I
Luciano (01:02:45.751)
Yeah, they even discuss it like at this rate you might be prime minister in 10 years. So I agree with Spencer. It's like I think the level of ruthlessness is somewhat similar, but the glee that they take in having an opening in this movie is a little bit more. It's a little bit too morbid, I think.
Spencer (01:02:49.96)
Yeah, good one! You sick fuck!
Spencer (01:03:01.262)
the How cutthroat is the Japanese government where it's like They they're the only way you can move up in the company if 10,000 people above you are killed in a Godzilla attack Because like this could be good for your career like Jesus Christ That's what you're thinking of He doesn't even like and the weird thing is that he's not like
Luciano (01:03:17.214)
Hahaha
Matt (01:03:23.71)
Hehe
Luciano (01:03:28.133)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:03:31.754)
we need to focus on getting this done. It's like, yeah, but I never really wanted to be in the bureaucracy. You know, it's like, my dream was always in changing the world, you know, and I'm like, you should be like chastising that guy and being like, you're a psychopath.
Luciano (01:03:39.743)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:03:47.26)
Yeah.
Matt (01:03:47.452)
No. Okay. So we're saying.
Spencer (01:03:48.366)
But, so that I think that answers the question. Clearly Tokyo, Tokyo Godzilla bureaucracy is much worse.
Luciano (01:03:52.291)
Yeah.
Matt (01:03:57.628)
It's the Japanese, it's the whole country's government. Don't worry. Yeah, it's better that way. No, no, no.
Luciano (01:03:58.667)
Yeah, yeah.
Spencer (01:04:02.278)
Okay, sorry, I don't want to label Tokyo. No, it was all of, what is this universe, Godzilla Japan? We'll call it Shin, we'll call it Shin Japan. Shin Japan. Shin Japan is monstrous.
Luciano (01:04:10.425)
All of Japan.
Yeah, Godzilla. Shin Godzilla. Shin Japan. Yeah.
Matt (01:04:17.488)
Yeah, perfect. Love it. Okay. In the movie, one of the big solves by the Fellowship of the Coagulant is that they are able to take the scientific research from Project Origami and discover what it was by literally folding the papers. They say, we're going to use origami, or the guy's like, origami is the solve for it. But...
The thing we're missing is that
Luciano (01:04:47.127)
If that was done in any other language movie than Japan, people will go, this is the most racist fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Ha ha ha.
Matt (01:04:54.26)
Mm-hmm, but it's fine. This is why sometimes I wonder if Americans didn't help make this movie when that but who knows it's not important the Yeah
Spencer (01:04:54.338)
Hehehehe
Luciano (01:04:59.398)
Maybe, yeah.
Spencer (01:05:00.874)
The secret is sushi. It's like, Jesus. Yeah. It's the key. Yeah.
Luciano (01:05:06.494)
Soy sauce Pour soy sauce down his throat he's gonna die
Matt (01:05:08.3)
Yeah. But it's only ca-
But it's only California roll, that's it. But so, they don't talk about like, you see them kind of folding around, but I wanna know what shape, what thing did they fold the paper into to actually solve it? Because origami is you make shape, you don't just like fold the paper four times and call the day.
Luciano (01:05:15.191)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:05:34.514)
Right.
Spencer (01:05:35.748)
Like how awesome would it be if it actually showed them folding it and making like a Godzilla a Godzilla out of the origami?
Luciano (01:05:40.126)
Godzilla. Yeah, yeah. That's what I thought they were gonna do. I was I was like, oh, they're gonna make like a little god origami Godzilla That's gonna be cool. And they just did like some like accordion folding. Yeah, I Think I think in the end it was like a little Godzilla shape and here's the thing if they had caught Godzilla in the original raccoon gecko dad form they would have to have shaped it that way because then
Matt (01:05:44.907)
Right?
Spencer (01:05:48.786)
It's a, it's like a diagram. Yeah, it was a.
Luciano (01:06:06.714)
whatever the configuration in the paper was with the court. So that's how much of a origami genius Goro was.
Spencer (01:06:10.474)
But I don't even understand what that means. So when he when they folded it into the shape of Godzilla they Like even in the movie like when they fold it they could read it
Luciano (01:06:18.418)
They understood.
Yeah.
Matt (01:06:21.64)
That's the Pepe Silvia thing I was talking to you guys about earlier. The paper on its own is like Pepe Silvia. There's lines and colors and no one has any idea. And then when they fold it...
Spencer (01:06:24.29)
Hehe
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (01:06:28.878)
Yeah, yeah. But when you fold it, they go, ooh, actually, they go exactly like Matt said, origami. It's like, what? Yeah, but they fold it in a way as I the only way I can understand this is they fold it and then they were able to read it when it was folded.
Matt (01:06:35.044)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:06:36.214)
Hehehehe
Matt (01:06:45.232)
Right. I, the only other answer I thought would have applied is, I don't know if you, Luciano, you might not have had this where you grew up, but you know, like Spencer, like the paper fortune tellers where you fold it and like you ask questions, like, you know, what's your secret crush? And they open and close it like four times. And then you pull the corner to get the answer. I thought maybe they did that. Yeah. It's like Godzilla. Uh, G-O-T-Z-I-L-L-A.
Luciano (01:06:53.179)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:06:58.682)
Oh. Yes, yes. Like the high school thing. Yeah. You go the little like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Say a number. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. What color? Yeah. What? Yeah. Pick a color now. Yeah. Yeah, I've had that. I've had that. Yeah. Maybe that.
Spencer (01:06:58.735)
Yeah, yeah, and you fold the corner. Yeah
Spencer (01:07:12.034)
God yeah
Matt (01:07:17.2)
Yeah, not a good color. Purple beam. Yeah.
Spencer (01:07:20.85)
Pick a color of casualties. Pick up a number of casualties from 10,000 to 50,000. Uh, 30,000? Okay! Heh heh heh. Yeah. Heh heh heh.
Matt (01:07:23.484)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:07:30.938)
Okay, now does the Prime Minister make it or not? No he doesn't. A one, two. Yeah, I think that makes actually... Maybe that's what they did. It wasn't origami, it was like fortune telling. That makes sense.
Matt (01:07:31.361)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Matt (01:07:39.538)
Alright, so...
Spencer (01:07:41.304)
Fuckin' Goro.
Matt (01:07:49.5)
Great, I'm glad we solved that. Next question. Godzilla or Gojira, he is the final form of the Pokemon of whatever this creature is. But we always have the dead-eyed raccoon. The dead googly-eyed raccoon. That's the start of the phrase. So what is its name?
Luciano (01:07:52.453)
Hahaha
Spencer (01:08:09.08)
That was the starter phase.
Luciano (01:08:09.606)
Right. Yeah, that's when you capture it, right? When it's weak. Yeah.
Matt (01:08:15.428)
Yeah, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, you capture it. Just throw it in Tokyo Bay and capture it.
Spencer (01:08:20.725)
I choose you dead rat dead ratathon
Luciano (01:08:24.206)
Yeah, well, okay. So that he has to have a similar name, right? I'm not super not super versed on Pokemon
Spencer (01:08:28.306)
React, cause... So let's... Let's go through some Pokemon just to give us an idea. So you got Bulbasaur, and then you got... Ivysaur, and then you got... What are the th-
Luciano (01:08:34.927)
Right.
Luciano (01:08:40.418)
Yeah, I know like you have Charmander, then Charizard, and then there's one more. I know like, right?
Spencer (01:08:46.686)
No, no, it's Charmander, Charmeleon, and Charizard.
Luciano (01:08:50.71)
Right and Charizard is the one that has the tail with fire right or something like that. Okay.
Spencer (01:08:53.946)
Yes, so by that thinking, you know, Bulbasaur, Venusaur, Ivysaur, you've got to have one element that's used in all three names, either the ending or the beginning.
Luciano (01:09:00.699)
Right.
Luciano (01:09:03.918)
Right, told you at the beginning and at the end. Okay.
Spencer (01:09:07.286)
I'm going with, I'm just going to go straight out with it. I'm going to say a Rattzilla.
Luciano (01:09:12.482)
Okay, I was gonna go the other direction. I was gonna say it's Gojira in This is gonna be such a stupid joke. I can't believe I'm gonna make it. So it's Gojira, no, you're not. You're not good. This is only gonna make sense here. Nobody guess No, you can't you can't say that I'm on this train now It's Gojira is the final form and Go Train is the first form
Spencer (01:09:19.646)
Just, I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm saving you from yourself, Luciano. He's too far gone. He's too far gone!
Matt (01:09:29.753)
He's trying so hard
Spencer (01:09:44.026)
I hate you. I tried. I tried.
Luciano (01:09:44.474)
Uh, I hate myself. It only makes sense in Ontario. Okay. Um, Redzilla is good. Racoonzilla is also good.
Spencer (01:09:52.374)
God.
Spencer (01:09:56.778)
And then what was the middle one? Was there a middle form? We kind of saw a middle form.
Luciano (01:09:58.994)
There's no middle one. No, oh, a little bit. Yeah, there was, there was. Cause like he opens when he gets pissed off, he opens like a, like a mendible out kind of like, it was cool. So I think.
Matt (01:10:00.901)
He kinda had a little bit of one.
Spencer (01:10:07.286)
That was kinda cool. I like that. Uh, we'll call that Predator. Or, uh, no. Predzilla?
Luciano (01:10:14.35)
Yeah, Predatorzilla. Predzilla, yeah.
Spencer (01:10:19.374)
Sounds like a sex pervert. Sounds like the VIP on Epstein's jet. Brad's Hill is coming to the island again. Oh boy, he's here every weekend. His name's Bill Gates. I'm just joking. I'm just kidding. Just joking.
Luciano (01:10:20.87)
It's awful. That's awful.
Matt (01:10:22.452)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:10:27.36)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:10:27.476)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:10:31.102)
Oh, not again! Well, you better get some more extra bleach! Like... Yeah.
Matt (01:10:31.511)
Ha ha
Luciano (01:10:41.77)
Oh my god, fucking shots fired!
Matt (01:10:46.616)
Alright.
Luciano (01:10:48.464)
Microsoft sponsor us
Spencer (01:10:49.92)
His name's Bill Clinton, his name's Donald Trump. There, I'm putting all the names out there. Everyone hates me now.
Luciano (01:10:55.888)
Yeah.
Matt (01:10:56.04)
Thanks Spencer. Sorry, yeah that's fine. I'm going to move on to the next question.
Luciano (01:10:59.878)
What? It's probably safer.
Spencer (01:11:02.582)
Hehehehe
Matt (01:11:05.068)
It's just easier this way. A couple other questions I'm curious about. So, listen, I know they try to make Godzilla to be the villain in this movie, but we all love Godzilla. And he's not the villain. He's just, well, maybe. He's just, Godzilla's just a creature who's out for a stroll. He's got a wonky hips. He's trying to stretch it out.
Spencer (01:11:19.502)
Good old rad, Zilla. Ha. Ha ha ha.
Luciano (01:11:23.637)
God, Gogeta did nothing wrong.
Spencer (01:11:32.758)
Heheheheh, it's got dysplasia.
Luciano (01:11:33.319)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:11:36.196)
And the kids these days, they just attack them for no reason. So what I want to know is, who is the real villain in this movie?
Luciano (01:11:45.127)
Hmm.
Spencer (01:11:47.998)
If I could name a character, I'd say one.
Luciano (01:11:51.034)
Yeah, that's fair. They don't really mention many names. They show, they show names, but they don't mention many names. Go ahead.
Spencer (01:11:54.427)
No, I got it.
I don't know anyone's name, but the main character's friend who is so excited about moving up in the company when everyone's dying, he's the real villain. The guy's like... The glasses, he's like, we're gonna be, we're gonna, you know, at this rate we'll be prime minister.
Luciano (01:12:07.83)
The... the... The one with the... the one with the glasses? Yeah, yeah. The one with the... with the... You have a little bit of a lisp, right? Yeah, that guy is the real... that's the real villain, yeah.
Spencer (01:12:19.978)
Is he the one who said we're... And he's the one who's like, we're the outcasts. Was he the one who said that? We're the outcasts and the... Oh, I thought it was him. Okay. Well, that guy's the villain.
Luciano (01:12:26.658)
No, no, he joins he joins a little later. I think the real villain is bureaucracy. That's what the real villain is in this movie. Same says the bureaucracy antihero.
Spencer (01:12:38.622)
Maybe maybe the bureaucracy was inside us all along.
Matt (01:12:39.386)
hero.
Matt (01:12:46.164)
The bureaucracy is the friends we made along the way.
Spencer (01:12:47.494)
Heheheheheheh
Luciano (01:12:48.262)
Yes. Other than that, probably the US if we're honest, they're willing to bomb Japan again at the turnover pin.
Matt (01:13:00.52)
They are very quick to jump on the new Japan train.
Luciano (01:13:02.218)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:13:04.81)
They literally called her like, we're willing to nuke Japan to help. And they're like, oh, you think that'll kill Godzilla? They're like, kill who now? We got a giant lizard? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (01:13:15.653)
Sorry, you got a what now?
Luciano (01:13:16.467)
What were we talking about?
Luciano (01:13:22.878)
Yeah. And I love I love the way the way that they go about it when they're talking to the prime minister, they go like, Oh, you know that China and Russia wants to take Godzilla control away from Japan. And I was like, control? Do you think these people have control? Yeah. And they were like, if you if you don't want to China and Russia to take control.
Matt (01:13:23.656)
Yeah
Spencer (01:13:35.854)
Yeah, I thought that too. It's like, go take them, yes, go, enjoy. That's what I was thinking too. And then they were talking with themselves.
Matt (01:13:36.588)
Yeah. Hahaha.
Luciano (01:13:50.902)
Godzilla away from Japan, you know what you have to do. We have to nuke you and Japan went like okay that makes sense Yeah Yeah, it's like you you're making a lot of sense and I just need to process this for a second Yeah, I think the US really is the villain in this movie
Matt (01:13:54.516)
Yeah, yeah,
Spencer (01:13:59.509)
You know what, I'm hearing a lot of good points here. I'm hearing a lot of good points.
Spencer (01:14:09.15)
Yeah, that was the funniest, that was the most random part of the movie. They're like, they want control. It's like, maybe we can use the control of Godzilla. I'm like, who's controlling Godzilla? He's wiping out all of Tokyo right now and nothing has been done to stop him in any way.
Luciano (01:14:21.172)
Yeah. They should have even when they said like, oh, they want to, you know, take control from of Godzilla away from the Japanese government. They should have just shown him just fucking racking things up. And someone went like, Yeah, sure. Fucking take it. Let's see if I care. Just do something.
Spencer (01:14:33.707)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:14:39.715)
That's like a country being hit with like a fucking number 10 earthquake, you know? And they're like, Russia wants control of that earthquake. It's going to take control of the earthquake. China and Russia are fighting for it. It's like, OK. If we could only harness the earthquake.
Luciano (01:14:46.224)
Yeah.
Matt (01:14:49.459)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:14:55.145)
Yeah, we're gonna use that earthquake in some war we're fighting in Afghanistan.
Matt (01:15:00.602)
Yeah.
like, hey Japan, you know that typhoon that's ravaging your country? That's China's now.
Luciano (01:15:06.158)
Yeah, can we borrow it? Can we borrow it? Ha ha ha.
Spencer (01:15:09.23)
Yeah, that's China's now. And if you don't give it up, you get nuked by the US.
Matt (01:15:14.804)
They're taking it.
Luciano (01:15:15.002)
By the US, yeah. If you don't give it up for us, we're gonna send you a radioactive typhoon. And that's what's gonna happen. Yeah.
Spencer (01:15:18.754)
they've offered.
Matt (01:15:23.884)
Okay, no, I think we've nailed it here. Other question.
This is an important one.
How many times would you agree to watching the 1997 Matthew Prudrick vehicle, Godzilla?
Luciano (01:15:39.218)
Ha ha ha!
Spencer (01:15:42.023)
Yes.
Matt (01:15:43.61)
so that someone would then erase this movie from your brain.
Spencer (01:15:48.42)
This is like Sophie's choice.
Luciano (01:15:50.791)
So are you saying something? This is all asking like, so how many times would you like your nipples taste before you forgot your waterboarding? Is that what you're asking? Ha ha ha.
Matt (01:15:59.572)
Yeah, but it's like... It's like you have to pay a penalty fee for not rewinding your DVD.
Spencer (01:16:07.102)
Like, can I pick one or zero?
Luciano (01:16:07.712)
I see.
Matt (01:16:11.188)
No, it's like, the thing I'm missing here I think is like, only, they can only erase one of our brains. And so, whoever will agree to watch the Roderick the most gets his brain erased.
Spencer (01:16:18.654)
Whoever whoever's willing to watch it the most
Spencer (01:16:24.354)
Guys, just take the hit for me and just say zero. I'll take the one and just do me a solid, okay? I need this.
Luciano (01:16:24.745)
Oh, I see.
Luciano (01:16:29.618)
Hahaha.
Matt (01:16:33.167)
I think I can get through a couple of viewings of it.
Luciano (01:16:34.818)
Yeah, I, so I, as I said, I fell asleep through the one and only time I watched that movie in the theaters. I'm gonna say, does it have to be consecutive or do I get a break?
Spencer (01:16:48.554)
I was gonna say, how much time we got here? Is it my life? Oh, consecutive, oof.
Matt (01:16:50.504)
consecutive we gotta we gotta go in here this isn't your brain you've watched this movie it's stuck in your brain you want just to Fester around in there for like a couple weeks
Luciano (01:16:53.35)
Oh shi-
Oh.
Spencer (01:16:58.535)
That's true, that's true.
Luciano (01:16:59.778)
Yeah, that oh, you're right, because there's going to be a point where both of them are going to be in your brain and that you don't want that. That's true. I'm gonna say three times back to back 1997 Godzilla with the mountain of fish and Godzilla being pregnant. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna say
Matt (01:17:05.916)
That's the worst.
Spencer (01:17:08.342)
Take care.
Matt (01:17:12.728)
Yep. What was that? Like the eggs in Madison Square Garden. Yeah.
Spencer (01:17:24.195)
I have fond memories of this movie. Actually, I didn't hate this movie. Now, having said that, I would take the over. Wait, Matt, what's your number?
Matt (01:17:24.423)
Okay.
Hehehe
Luciano (01:17:27.538)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:17:33.764)
Um, consecutively to get rid of this. I'm only willing to do. Hmm. I'm willing to.
Spencer (01:17:43.186)
Alright, 700. That's mine. I'm just not taking a risk. I'm playing it safe. You know what? I got it. I got it, guys. I didn't want to risk it. Yeah. I didn't know. Just to be safe, I needed to take the W.
Luciano (01:17:46.342)
Ha!
Matt (01:17:50.413)
Smart, yeah. I was thinking in the range of two to four, so 700 seemed to be the right answer.
Luciano (01:17:50.788)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:17:57.458)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:18:02.264)
It was a blind bidding system, so you didn't know, right? So you gotta be sure.
Luciano (01:18:05.446)
You really was.
Matt (01:18:11.408)
Yeah, that's great. So that'll be 1,400 hours of Godzilla. Can second me. How many days does that break down to exactly?
Luciano (01:18:16.854)
Yeah, consecutive.
Spencer (01:18:19.533)
This is gonna be tough. It's gonna be tough, but it's gonna be worth it.
I mean, days of straight Godzilla. Do I get to sleep? Can I sleep through this? Like, can I sleep in between films? Oh, God. I'm going to die.
Luciano (01:18:28.218)
That is 58 days.
Matt (01:18:28.563)
Hahaha
58 days of Godzilla.
Luciano (01:18:33.507)
Two months! Two months! No you can't. You have to fucking clockwork orange yourself. Hahahaha!
Matt (01:18:37.342)
I mean
hahahaha
Matt (01:18:44.712)
This is a great deal.
Luciano (01:18:46.625)
I think you've outbid yourself there.
Matt (01:18:49.093)
You've made a great decision. Welcome. Welcome, sir.
Spencer (01:18:52.046)
Afterwards everyone's gonna be fucking Nick Popopolis. Botopopolis! Or whatever the fuck that guy is. It's pronounced Popopolis!
Luciano (01:18:57.822)
Ha ha
Matt (01:19:00.912)
All of your references at the end of time will just be Godzilla references.
Luciano (01:19:05.429)
Oh god.
Spencer (01:19:05.868)
Oh my gosh.
Luciano (01:19:08.567)
I'm glad we cleared that out.
Spencer (01:19:10.154)
Yep.
Matt (01:19:12.64)
Alright good, so we've got that done. Let's... Hey, they never explained this, so I think we should cover it, because we're experts. The human skeletons that were climbing out of Godzilla that we see at the very end. What's the deal with that?
Spencer (01:19:31.69)
I think those were like the people he ate? Did he eat anyone? Maybe Godzilla was just the people he killed along the way.
Matt (01:19:41.86)
No.
Luciano (01:19:48.334)
Yeah, yeah, I think that that's what it is. He was because he was made like something happened at the bottom of the ocean, right? I think maybe those are like when he when he was forming into its own Redzilla self, the initial one. It was just picking up skeletons along the way and now he's part human. So maybe that's why the guy at the end says we must learn to coexist with Godzilla because they don't want to kill another
Matt (01:19:48.616)
Hehehe
Matt (01:19:55.576)
Right. Yeah.
Luciano (01:20:17.198)
human adjacent thing does that make any more sense than what they said in the movie probably not but it makes about as much sense
Spencer (01:20:26.05)
So I do think that Godzilla is the friends we ate along the way, like you said. But I think in the movie.
Matt (01:20:31.892)
Okay.
Spencer (01:20:37.09)
He was... Like maybe the next phase of his... Pokemon evolution... Was to like... Breed mini like people-zillas. You know? And those were all gonna come off him and start... Killing people.
Luciano (01:20:43.415)
Oh, people, Zealot.
Luciano (01:20:49.878)
Oh, oh, is that what is that what they meant when they said that Godzilla has a sexual propagation via singular growth organism growth? Because they say that line in the movie. So they're just going to pop little human Godzilla's out of his ass. Is what you're saying.
Spencer (01:21:01.346)
It's certainly possible. Certainly possible.
Spencer (01:21:09.186)
Because Matt said I didn't notice I thought they were just skeletons. But Matt, you said they were like humans with like dorsal fins.
Matt (01:21:15.508)
It kind of looks like Godzilla-esque. Like, not like... Or the skeletons kind of look like that. Because they weren't really like flesh, right?
Luciano (01:21:21.914)
Really? Because to me it just looked like good like just little skeletons. Yeah.
Spencer (01:21:24.511)
I thought they were just people.
Matt (01:21:27.236)
I mean it was so fast and like it was all they were smoking because of the freezing and I don't know man
Spencer (01:21:31.47)
They were smoking because of the freezing, obviously. Heheheheheheh.
Luciano (01:21:32.146)
HAHAHAHA! They were smoking! I imagined like the skeleton smoking a cigar! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Matt (01:21:38.807)
Listen, I was like after they broke all the airspeed laws, I just couldn't.
Luciano (01:21:43.144)
Ha ha!
Spencer (01:21:43.938)
This is so unbelievable. Everyone knows the Japan air limit is 400. 400 kph. No more, no less. No coatings, no more, no less. Yeah.
Matt (01:21:46.196)
It's just so unbelievable.
Luciano (01:21:47.955)
I'm not gonna stand for this.
Matt (01:21:50.247)
Yeah.
Matt (01:21:55.86)
right? Don't go slower either. That's a fucking paddling.
Luciano (01:21:58.714)
Yeah, yeah. You're not supposed to go below half the speed limit. So yeah.
Matt (01:22:03.6)
Yeah, that's right. Don't fucking do it. So, okay, so... I think that's it. I think there's not many...
Spencer (01:22:10.622)
or yeah, I think that's the only explanation I can think of. Or Luciano or like they're going to make now, this would be like a really like. Kind of fucked up thing to do. But like, because you know how, like, they always say Godzilla is like a metaphor for the nuclear bomb. And. Yeah, like that's what that's where Godzilla came from. It was like a supposed representation of America and the militant like.
Matt (01:22:15.484)
Does that make sense?
Luciano (01:22:32.807)
They do?
Luciano (01:22:39.626)
Oh. Well, not in this movie. It's not. Yep.
Spencer (01:22:39.958)
like how it destroys Japan. Not in this movie, exactly. This movie, America represents America.
Matt (01:22:47.261)
Okay
Spencer (01:22:48.222)
So I don't know if those are like people who died from wars that are nuclearly fused to make up Godzilla or something. I don't know, that seems like a stretch.
Luciano (01:23:00.943)
It does.
Matt (01:23:02.164)
I think we're gonna go ahead and do everybody a favor here and just wrap this up and head into our reviews of this movie.
Luciano (01:23:06.205)
Hahahaha!
Spencer (01:23:06.965)
We had such a good segue. I just, I went backwards for that. And I apologize. I apologize to you. I apologize to my two hosts, co-hosts and I apologize to you, the audience member. Listening.
Matt (01:23:11.32)
You didn't need to and now we're here.
Luciano (01:23:12.72)
Yeah, yeah.
Matt (01:23:19.708)
Don't worry, we're professionals. So segue, let's give our score to this movie. As always, use the patented S tier ranking system. S is the highest, A, B, C, D, E, all the way down to F for Morbius. That's our ranking system. And Luciano, why don't you grade this fair beast?
Spencer (01:23:25.899)
Oh.
Luciano (01:23:41.258)
Okay. So I, you know, much like I think both of you said, or at least Matt said, I started this movie, not obviously not knowing what to expect entirely, but then in the first few minutes, I was like, oh, this is going to get right into the action. That's going to be good. And then it was all down here from that. Yeah. Like it was too much talking and like too, like it was just a
Luciano (01:24:11.61)
and we wouldn't have missed anything. There's no redeeming qualities in the CG. There's no redeeming qualities in the story. I didn't really care for any of the characters. They all could have fucking died in my opinion and I wouldn't have cared. I think this movie tried really hard to capture some sort of an anime like...
Spencer (01:24:30.798)
That would've been cool.
Luciano (01:24:40.642)
aesthetic and stuff like that. The director for this, we never actually mentioned it, the director for this movie is the same director of the Neon Genesis Evangelion anime. And it feels exactly like that. Only in anime form it kind of works a little bit and there's a lot more action. So no story, no CG, no redeemable characters, a bunch of science babble. That just adds up to an F.
to me. It's just, I wish I could forget that I watched this movie and anybody that I know and like that I can save from watching this movie, I would try to do so. That's me. It's an F.
Spencer (01:25:20.93)
there. Now, my now my rating for this movie is movie it was like, like Luciano said, I looked up the movie ahead of time and it's ranked one of the best Godzilla movies and it has a decent ratings. I was I've never been more confused going into a movie like ending a movie I mean like being like, like feeling like I just completely missed. Like what the fuck?
Matt (01:25:23.272)
Didn't see that coming.
Luciano (01:25:24.662)
Really? I don't know.
Matt (01:25:26.341)
Of course we did.
Luciano (01:25:44.196)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:25:50.562)
people are liking more than this movie. It was so horribly boring. And then I thought it was so boring that I thought it was intentionally boring because I thought the whole point of the movie was gonna be that, like, it's a, I thought it was a critique of bureaucracy to the point where it's like showing how bureaucracy, because they do nothing for so long while so many people are dying, that I thought that was the point, that they're like caught up in this like system of bureaucracy.
Luciano (01:25:52.497)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:26:04.286)
I think it is.
Luciano (01:26:08.261)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:26:14.479)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:26:19.018)
And meanwhile, all these people are dying and they're, they're not like being, doing enough fast enough to save people. And that's going to be their downfall. And it was going to end in like them all dying or, you know, eventually something happening to show that you need to do something different. But in the end, it was the bureaucracy that ended up saving everything. And that made me even more confused. And I was just like, I don't understand this movie. I am lost. So from a theme thing alone, I was, I was like, I missed, I missed the point, but also purely from a movie watching point of view.
This was one of the most boring movies I've ever seen. When Godzilla came on for five seconds, it was kind of cool, and then went to sleep, and they continued to talk for another 40 minutes. It was at that movie that I had realized that I had lost my mind, and that I will never get it back. This, so it was like, it was just like, I was like, what in the fuck? I'm like, I was so confused. So yes, I don't know if I've given an F yet on the show. I think I might've given it to Morbius, I don't remember.
Luciano (01:27:02.627)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:27:15.01)
You have Morbius and yeah, Morbius and I believe in Santa. Those were your only two Fs.
Spencer (01:27:16.694)
Did I?
Spencer (01:27:20.686)
Oh, I believe it's Santa. I mean, come on, go and listen to that episode for the Christmas time, folks. Yeah. So this movie is a fucking as hard as an F as I can give. I literally no redeeming points.
Matt (01:27:22.351)
Hehehehehehe
Luciano (01:27:23.986)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:27:33.19)
Would you say this is like more of an F than more Bs or about the same?
Spencer (01:27:37.034)
Yes, I enjoyed Morbius way more than this movie. Way more.
Luciano (01:27:41.09)
Yeah, I think I agree.
Spencer (01:27:44.599)
Like ya.
Matt (01:27:45.486)
It's like I kind of want to go back and reclassify Morbius to an E.
Spencer (01:27:47.35)
I'm more agreed. I'm like, I'm like, I don't think Morpheus deserves to be in half after this It was like that movie was a movie
Luciano (01:27:48.502)
Morbius?
Matt (01:27:53.448)
After so I mean I'm certain that for this movie I am certain that there is some Taste issues or not. Well, it's like, you know, the Japanese audience is probably Used to a different style of movie and maybe seeing Bureaucracy go hot and horny for two hours is something they enjoy and so maybe that's why it is Critically acclaimed there where you know in the West it's got more of a mixed response
I can tell you from me, from my standpoint, I just don't know what this movie's point was.
Luciano (01:28:31.098)
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.
Spencer (01:28:31.698)
Yeah, exactly.
Luciano (01:28:35.593)
I thought like, go ahead, go ahead.
Matt (01:28:35.758)
Like, honestly, I took from this bureaucracy triumphs over Kaiju. That's the only thing I take.
Luciano (01:28:43.043)
At the end. It might take a while, but it triumphs.
Spencer (01:28:44.342)
Hehe
Matt (01:28:49.268)
slowly over a long period of time, as long as Godzilla cooperates by taking long naps.
Spencer (01:28:49.509)
Maybe everyone will be dead.
Spencer (01:28:56.103)
Yeah, to allow for the process to allow for due process it will it will
Luciano (01:29:01.768)
Maybe the point of this movie is even Kaiju respect bureaucracy. Maybe that's what it is.
Spencer (01:29:05.495)
You know?
Matt (01:29:07.112)
True, maybe that's what it is. So I gotta classify as an F, the same as you guys, because it just, I will never watch this movie again. The only joy I've had in this movie is that we got to talk about it and tear it limb from limb. But like, there's just like, even in Morbius, there's like, oh yeah, there's a couple cool scenes, or like, you know, there's some decent acting, or like, whatever, I mean, there wasn't, but you know.
Spencer (01:29:30.782)
like or like at least like fun scenes like funny fun
Luciano (01:29:31.933)
No, there wasn't. Yeah, yeah, it's true.
Matt (01:29:36.024)
Yeah, they were trying to do fun stuff or funny things, and this besides Godzilla's rave in the middle of the movie?
Luciano (01:29:46.107)
Yeah.
Matt (01:29:46.292)
Nothing. It's just a bunch of men and a couple of women sitting around in suits or like jumpsuits talking about bureaucracy.
Spencer (01:29:54.518)
Like my own honestly, my only thing way I can think that this is like well reviewed in Japan or by anywhere, mainly in Japan is if the dialogue we read and saw was not accurate. And the actual dialogue is like Quentin Tarantino quality dialogue where it's like edge of your seat. Like, like. Like that's all like, but I would have to say it would have to be different words.
Luciano (01:30:06.614)
was... yeah.
Matt (01:30:13.2)
I mean, that's probably a lot of what we're missing, right?
Luciano (01:30:15.197)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:30:21.39)
I was thinking about it now that you guys were describing too. Maybe there's like a harsh critique of the Japanese government specifically in particular of that as well. And then we wouldn't really get it, right? So maybe.
Matt (01:30:30.338)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:30:34.294)
But then they but then the government saves the day. Or was the guy?
Luciano (01:30:38.246)
They don't because if you think about it, it was the guy who was like running the motley crew of pains in the bureaucracy that saved the day. Right. They were going around the bureaucracy. Right. They were, they were, because they put together that team and they were doing shit. Right. They weren't going through the proper protocols or whatever. Yeah.
Spencer (01:30:45.494)
But weren't they in the... Were they going around them? Weren't they like permitted?
Matt (01:30:53.54)
Yes. Yeah, they were the ones that came up with the coagulant fellowship.
Spencer (01:30:58.646)
Oh, okay, so then the theme makes more sense. I always thought they were just always part of the bureaucracy. It's still boring, but at least now I kind of understand what they're going for in terms of a theme. So instead of, now we can give it an F. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was gonna say, now it's an F on the bar with Morbius. I feel good, I feel better. Because before that, it was just a big question mark.
Luciano (01:31:03.742)
Yeah, it's still boring though.
Matt (01:31:13.888)
We can now not move Morbius up to an E. It's on the same level as Morbius.
Luciano (01:31:16.998)
Hahaha!
Yeah, yeah
Matt (01:31:24.616)
Um, that is, that's, that is fair. Um, the last thing I'll add is I was just looking this up because I was trying to see if, you know, the reviews and stuff were like, oh yeah, just the stuff Spencer was talking about, I couldn't really find anything. Um, but the really interesting thing is, um, this thing won a bunch of awards. Um,
Luciano (01:31:47.387)
What?
Matt (01:31:48.024)
And specifically the 40th Japanese Academy Prize of the awards. I guess like their equivalent to the Oscars. I don't know. Don't quote me on that, but that's what it looks like. It was nominated for picture of the year, director of the year, actor of the year, supporting actress of the year, best music, best cinematography, best art, best lighting, best sound recording and best film editing. And it won best picture, best director, best cinematography, best art direction, best lighting direction, best sound recording and best film editing.
Spencer (01:31:55.526)
Oh man.
Luciano (01:31:55.718)
What the fuck?
Matt (01:32:17.532)
It didn't win actor or supporting actress or best music. And ironically enough, it had two best supporting actresses nominated for the same category, which does make me ask the secondary question, are women allowed to act in Japan? Because, you know, fine.
Luciano (01:32:34.554)
What was, who was the other, oh I know who it was. It was the one minister, the older woman who was there and Kayoko, those are the only female, like, oh yeah, the scientist, the scientist, yeah, yeah.
Spencer (01:32:45.206)
The girl, there was that girl who was like the smart computer girl.
Matt (01:32:45.847)
What about Noah?
Matt (01:32:49.972)
She just spit hot fire. It was this spit hot fire scientist girl. Was the other one.
Spencer (01:32:52.45)
Sorry, audience, you did not see that, but when Matt was listing off those awards, me and Luciano were legitimately mouth agape, like in shock for the entire, no quips. That was the sound, that was the sound of utter shock you just heard.
Luciano (01:33:01.218)
Yes, for like the whole thing. Yeah.
Yeah, we couldn't. I couldn't even think of a quip.
Luciano (01:33:11.922)
Shock. Like I was thinking, how bad are movies in Japan that this one got this many accolades? Like...
Spencer (01:33:18.226)
Yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking. I'm like, you just made me convince me to never watch a movie from Japan. Thanks a lot, Shin Godzilla.
Luciano (01:33:27.243)
Yeah.
Matt (01:33:27.464)
Well, that is the fundamental thing, right? You can say what you want about the movie and, you know, a director, I mean, sure, whatever, like fine. But like, when you start to get me down to like, best like, it did not win music. But it did win best cinematography. And I'm just like, for what?
Luciano (01:33:38.63)
Did it win music?
OK.
Luciano (01:33:47.226)
Honestly, I mean the cinematography was okay Like it was probably the best thing of all of all those things that you listed, right? But like editing what the fuck are you talking about? It was so dry What the fuck
Spencer (01:33:50.562)
Some of the shots of Godzilla were kind of cool.
Matt (01:33:51.388)
Yeah.
Matt (01:34:01.906)
Um, yeah.
Spencer (01:34:02.23)
You know what? After hearing that, I'm actually gonna give this movie an F.
Matt (01:34:07.478)
Hehehehe
Luciano (01:34:07.55)
I think that's fair. I'll change mine to an F as well
Spencer (01:34:07.603)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:34:10.152)
Great job everybody. F for me as well. That'll wrap this up. Good news, our next film, we've already selected it. And I think we've picked a real palate cleanser. Something from a director who has really just had a pedigree that no one else can match up to. It's some, you mentioned Chris Nolan. He is friends with Chris Nolan.
Spencer (01:34:12.29)
Hehehehehehe
Spencer (01:34:28.13)
James Cameron, Christopher Nolan, come on. Well, you gotta assume it's gotta be Quentin Tarantino, James Cameron, Chris Nolan, Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg.
Luciano (01:34:29.632)
Some sort of a pedigree.
Luciano (01:34:37.82)
Yes.
Matt (01:34:40.566)
Almost. It's your close Zack Snyder.
Luciano (01:34:44.518)
You're close. You're close.
Matt (01:34:47.288)
Zack Snyder has a brand new Netflix film coming out. It is his take, I don't wanna call it his take on Star Wars, but it is his Star Wars. It is his scientific space opera, if you will. Scientific science fiction space opera. It is coming out to Netflix very soon. And so we are going to take a peek, too soon. We're gonna take a peek and get back to you. Early January, we're gonna let you know.
Spencer (01:34:47.559)
Oh.
Spencer (01:34:51.658)
Oh.
Spencer (01:35:01.68)
is Opus.
Spencer (01:35:08.415)
Some say too soon.
Matt (01:35:16.4)
we think about Rebel Moon. Some of us may have purchased tickets to see it in the theater because that's how excited we are for this movie. We'll let you know if that was a good idea or a bad idea. A mistake if you will in the new year. But Rebel Moon, so take the time over Christmas to, over your holidays to watch it. Maybe twice. I think it's going to be such an iconic and seminal film that watch it a couple times to make sure you get all the things you need out of it before we talk about it.
Spencer (01:35:27.103)
or a triumph.
Spencer (01:35:43.95)
And then tell us how many times would you watch it to not watch Shin Katsuwa? Ha ha!
Luciano (01:35:49.212)
haha
Matt (01:35:49.317)
Yeah. 700 is never defeat.
Spencer (01:35:53.167)
Yeah, we'll see if we get there.
Matt (01:35:57.948)
But for now, we will talk to you next time.
Luciano (01:36:02.55)
Yeah, hopefully our brains recover.
Spencer (01:36:06.626)
Thanks guys!