Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. I wanna say thank you for taking some time to spend here with me. And so today is an important topic and I'm really curious for you to just sort of. Step inside and ask yourself if you've ever been in a relationship where you, you've begun to question your own thoughts, feelings, and your reality.
Or maybe you can, you constantly are thinking, um, to yourself, oh, I must be imagining that. Or [00:01:00] maybe you're being told that you're too sensitive, and then you start doubting yourself. Those are. Indications and could be subtle forms of emotional manipulation that could be happening in the relationship, and that emotional manipulation is known as gaslighting.
So today I wanna unpack, uh, what gaslighting is and how it does lead to losing a sense of yourself. So the very first thing that I wanna address is, uh, clarifying what gaslighting is. I know that a lot of people have heard this term recently 'cause it's been around in what I would refer to as pop psychology.
But gaslighting is when somebody deliberately twists information or situations causing you to doubt yourself or your perceptions, feelings, or sanity. It's a way for the gaslight to gain control over you emotionally and psychologically. Gaslighting typically unfolds in three stages. Disbelief, which is when you sense something's off, but you're, it's hard to pinpoint.
And so you often dismiss your gut feelings and you rationalize or explain away the incidents, and you may hear yourself saying things like, oh, they didn't mean that, or. [00:02:00] You know what? I'm just, they just under misunderstood me. The second part is defense. Eventually you start defending your own reality.
You might present evidence or argue your point, or try to convince the other person that you're right, but the more you defend, the more confused and exhausted you become, and you question your memory and judgment, wondering if maybe you are actually overreacting or maybe you really are oversensitive.
And the start, the third stage is depression. Over time, the continuous manipulation leads to deep emotional exhaustion and you might feel isolated, hopeless, disconnected from your own core identity. And in that stage, that's when your emotional and psychological health is really impacted, and that's when you really start to lose trust in yourself and it's hard to discern your own reality.
So how exactly do people lose themselves in gaslighting? Well. At its core, gaslighting is undermining self, your own self-trust, and the manipulator repeatedly invalidates your experiences, making you believe that your perceptions and feelings are inaccurate and insignificance Over time, you start deferring to their version of reality and your own self-worth and identity [00:03:00] are tied to their approval and validation.
I mean, I know with my clients this has come up routinely and I have many clients where they've questioned their decisions or their feelings or their, just their memories, because often they were heard, you know, you're being dramatic, you're being sensitive, or that didn't happen. And over time they lose trust in their own experiences.
So together, through coaching, we would explore how gaslighting. Has eroded their self-confidence and their self-awareness and then also helped them recognize that their experience was actually happening. And so then it is about reclaiming one's power and also rebuilding one's self-trust. Rec. Recovering from G Gaslighting really does include really.
Important critical steps. The very first thing is to validate your experiences. One of the most empowering actions you can take is to trust your gut, and if you feel something's off, honor that rather than dismiss it. The second is to establish or reestablish boundaries. Gaslighting often thrives in environments where there are.
Weak [00:04:00] or unclear boundaries. So learning to say no, clearly communicating where your limits are so you can start to be rebuild your autonomy and your strength. And then the third is to start rebuilding self-trust. You know, even if you start with those minor decisions and you gradually work up to those bigger ones, it's really important to start reconnecting with your inner voice and your own intuition.
So here are some, some strategies to really begin that journey back to yourself. Emotional journaling is huge. Document your daily experiences, noting your feelings, your reactions, your insights without judgment, but that practice rebuilds trust within your own perception and also validates your own reality.
The second thing is do seek support from your trusted people. Gaslighting often isolates you from other people. So reconnecting with your supportive friends, families, or a coach who understands and validates your experiences are, it's so important and vital to your healing process. And then the third thing is self-compassion.
Gaslighting can severely impact your self-esteem, so [00:05:00] engage in those daily self affirmations. Gentle talk, mindful self-compassion. It is so important for you to regularly increase your, your. Ownership of self, but also your inherent worth and value Healing from gaslighting is such a profound act of reclaiming your authenticity and your personal power.
Remember, your reality and your feelings and your experiences are so valid, and you deserve relationships that honor and respect who you are. And I really wanna just say that it is so important that if you are healing from gas lighting, that the very first step is to trust yourself and to start to reclaim and rebuild that self-trust within your own being because you are are, you are so deserving of these healthy relationships.
And if you'd like to explore how coaching could support you, work through something like this, if you have been in a toxic situation, please feel free to reach out to me anytime at coachwithkamini.com. And until next time, stay well.