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Darth Yarbrough sees all.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:01.229)
Hello and welcome back to popcorn and plot holes. This week we got rid of that dumb Spencer guy because he... Listen, everyone started until Spencer, right? Like, he was coming up too much. We sent him to rehab to clean up his act.
Chris (00:07.376)
What?
Luciano (00:08.748)
Jesus.
Luciano (00:16.108)
Yeah, yeah. He took his alternate persona to get shot in the back of the head.
Chris (00:17.936)
Yeah, whatever.
Matt (00:24.173)
Yeah. No, that one can stay in cell Spencer.
Chris (00:24.208)
Alan Rickman.
Luciano (00:26.636)
No, not that other persona. Yeah.
Chris (00:29.904)
Oh, shot one of his personas in the back of the...
Matt (00:34.829)
If I had to pick, anyways, so good riddance to that guy. With me, we still as always have Luciano.
Luciano (00:36.396)
Yeah.
Chris (00:38.)
Well, that's the right answer.
Luciano (00:44.364)
Hi, hello, I am a person
Matt (00:46.541)
And you, well, don't say things that may or may not be true. We cannot confirm or deny these statements. Chris, you're also here.
Chris (00:48.336)
He's so happy to be here.
Luciano (00:52.94)
Wow.
Chris (00:54.672)
I am.
Matt (01:00.429)
You sure are. Um, we watched the Outlaw Johnny Black. It is the...
Luciano (01:08.972)
Michael Jai White, Wiggle, come on!
Matt (01:10.125)
I guess Michael Jai White. Vehicle.
Chris (01:12.368)
You, one might say it's the Michael Jai White meets Jill Scott meets Tony Baker meets Michael Madsen meets Roger Yuan vehicle.
Luciano (01:21.132)
Yeah, one might, but one would be wrong.
Chris (01:23.376)
But then you could also add Russell Peters and then you'd be right.
Matt (01:25.933)
Generally when things are vehicles it's not like a short bus.
Luciano (01:31.884)
Well, I mean, maybe it should have been.
Chris (01:31.984)
It's a clown. It's a clown car. Yes.
Matt (01:34.829)
Maybe it should have been.
Let's just get into this movie. We will ask our patented safe starter question that everyone has come to know and love. Shut up. It's... it's... I guess that's safe. What did you like about this movie? What's your favorite part about this movie?
Luciano (01:45.9)
Don't know if it's safe.
Chris (01:47.056)
I think it's lukewarm at least, it's not scalding.
See?
Chris (01:59.024)
There were quite a lot actually I feel it feels like I was in a candy shop like a bonbon shot like shop like with a different flavored bit Yeah, what did I do? I thought I Okay, well bonbons are candy You can eat them and you get different flavors takes me back to the time this one time I was in Montreal kidding. Um you asked
Matt (02:02.093)
dear.
Luciano (02:04.012)
Yeah, for me too.
Luciano (02:10.188)
I see what you did there.
A bonbon shop instead of a candy shop?
Chris (02:27.088)
What were some of my favorite parts? So much of it. Like the fact that it was a self -aware action comedy, but translated through homage to blaxploitation lens, a la black dynamite for Westerns, but fused with a lot of stuff and like spiritually like black dynamite and, and Johnny and outlaw Johnny black are siblings. Cause like, yeah. I saw him. So what I'm trying to say is I loved all of it.
Luciano (02:33.644)
you
Luciano (02:57.1)
Yeah, it was a, I agree with that sentiment at least, but I, I will give you a specific one if you want.
Chris (02:59.184)
which is the top out, but I can get specific.
Matt (03:03.853)
Yeah, cause Chris, I don't know if you know, but we only talked for like an hour and a half about the movie, and if you say I love all of it, we don't have a lot to talk about. Podcast over, five minutes.
Luciano (03:10.444)
Yeah.
Chris (03:12.098)
Don't worry. Don't worry, because we switch it up. We have to keep the content fresh and nimble for our listeners.
Matt (03:18.765)
Okay, but I feel like they want more than, it was good. I'll see you later.
Luciano (03:21.452)
I like the - why did you like about the movie? The movie. No, but you might as well have.
Matt (03:24.237)
The movie. Nailed it.
Chris (03:25.04)
I didn't say that. I said, I'm talking about might have is different from that. See, what you know is what is different compared to what you can prove in court.
Matt (03:35.405)
Don't make me get to transcript.
Luciano (03:35.468)
to court. We'll have it. Okay, I'll... Yeah, so I, as much as I agree with Chris that I like like the aspect of it of being like self aware and everything, I as always I go to like a very specific like blink and you miss scene. Although this is not that small, but when...
Chris (03:37.36)
Bust it out! Bust it out!
Matt (03:39.341)
We'll have it. I'll post it. I have to wait till the podcast is over. Luciano, can you be specific? Please save us.
Chris (03:51.568)
All the comedy.
Chris (04:01.712)
Oh.
Luciano (04:03.468)
crack shot Bob is like shooting bottles and Johnny comes in and kind of fucks him up and shoots him in the leg and he falls down and he comes empty and says, pull that shit up again, I'm going to shoot your nuts off alphabetically. I laughed for a solid minute after that. I was like, how, what alphabetically, how? Yeah, that was probably my favorite scene of the whole movie. Yeah.
Chris (04:07.408)
Yeah.
Matt (04:22.317)
Yeah.
Chris (04:26.192)
B -A -B -L -L -S. Did anyone? Oh wait, sorry, no. It's your turn, sorry. Listen, listen.
Matt (04:27.021)
Right?
Matt (04:37.197)
Thanks, weird Chris. Now, one of my favorite scenes in the movie was when Johnny escapes the prison in Hope Springs and he calls like the guard leftovers like, oh, I gotta go give me some water. And then he just starts bitch laughing him like grabbing his gun and pointing at him and then putting it down.
Luciano (04:52.588)
Yeah. That's a fucking that's a fucking Terrence Hill. That's a fucking Terrence Hill homage. I don't know if you guys know about those movies. Oh, yeah. The slide was open hand slaps and like tricks. That's 100 percent Terrence Hill movie. I was so happy because I love those movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Terrence Hill was like 70s actor who him and Bud Spencer used to have.
Chris (04:53.264)
Oh yeah, he gets slapped.
Chris (04:58.384)
Beautiful.
Matt (05:01.709)
Yeah, yeah. No.
Chris (05:03.056)
Really? No.
Matt (05:12.525)
Okay.
Chris (05:12.592)
So that's like an action genre?
Luciano (05:22.06)
They were in like 10, 20 movies, all of the same kind of... It started with Western and then they moved to other stuff, but it's always the two of them and always the two of them fighting a bunch of mooks and just bitch slapping them, throwing them out the window. That scene was like a concentrated Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer movie. I loved it too. I loved it. I was laughing my ass off.
Chris (05:28.592)
Okay.
Chris (05:38.768)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (05:43.152)
Wow.
I didn't even know.
Matt (05:46.061)
Yeah, it was just, it was just so funny. It's just like, it is the best when it goes past that point of like, all right, the bit's funny. It's like over and you come back to again, he keeps doing it. Just like laughing.
Luciano (05:53.164)
Yeah. Yeah. You think he's gonna stop like three times and he keeps on going. Yeah.
Chris (05:53.232)
Yeah.
It's genius. No! I'm still fucking with him. I'm still fucking with him. It's like a mega reverse on why are you hitting yourself.
Matt (05:59.693)
Yeah, just keeps on doing it. Yeah.
Luciano (06:11.18)
Yeah, yeah.
Matt (06:11.629)
Yeah, a hundred percent. So like, I think, you know, it's, the movie is, let's be honest with this movie. I bet you most of our listeners expected us to come in here and just tear this movie limb from limb. And there's certainly a case for it if you want to be hardcore about it. But the reality is, is this movie comes in being very explicit about what it is trying to be. It is a slapstick, Western laxploitation, make fun of everything about all those things movie.
Chris (06:13.456)
Oh my god.
Luciano (06:33.74)
Yeah.
Chris (06:33.904)
Yeah.
Chris (06:41.648)
Yeah.
Matt (06:41.741)
And you have to just like let be what it is, you know, you know, this is called popcorn plot holes, I think I Don't there there weren't plot holes because they were not trying to really have a plot. It was just Stuff they connected to a story and they somehow managed to actually show Pieces that you know proved all the things were gonna happen. They connected us which is better than a lot of movies That are supposed to be serious Yeah, they can't do
Luciano (06:48.364)
Yeah.
Luciano (06:54.156)
Yeah.
Luciano (07:07.5)
that take themselves seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the beginning, it must have been the first or second scene in the movie when the guy was gonna say the N -word, the only N -word in this whole movie, which I was surprised by, and Johnny fucks him up and he goes, I was gonna say nincompoop. Like, I was like, okay, I know what this movie is here for and I'm for it as well. Yeah.
Chris (07:20.464)
and then come.
Matt (07:23.373)
Yeah.
Chris (07:26.128)
You know, I think we actually we actually just like the our listeners are really lucky because I think we just we just shed our cocoon and We usually do popcorn and plot holes But sometimes some movies just as we've explained are just popcorn. I got so much fun
Luciano (07:41.196)
I just popcorn. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.
Matt (07:47.181)
Yeah, no, you're right. So I mean, like, we don't have to talk about, we could just talk about popcorn for this whole section, right? Like, we can, you know, we can talk about other things we didn't like if there's, I mean, you know, we wasn't perfect by any means, but, you know, like, it's just the comedy bits, like I enjoyed so much. Like when he's riding through the desert and the horse dies, and then he tries to give him water and the horse kicks the bucket, like literally.
Luciano (07:54.38)
Yeah.
Chris (07:59.728)
Right.
Luciano (08:04.492)
Yeah.
Chris (08:08.976)
Yes.
You
Luciano (08:12.108)
He picks like two small handfuls of water and puts them in a giant bucket.
Chris (08:16.496)
but they were loving. But like they stacked that moment. He found water, cool, I can help my horse. And then you look, and the horse was standing, but he goes to do the good thing, looks back, horse dead on the ground or like dying air quotes on the ground.
Matt (08:16.781)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (08:25.901)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Immediately dead.
Luciano (08:27.596)
Yeah.
Well, he comes back with the bucket. The bucket is full almost. Yeah, almost like halfway full. When the horse kicks it, like it flies off, like the water flies off it. It's great.
Chris (08:32.336)
I'm out.
Matt (08:34.253)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (08:34.832)
It was? Oh my god! Yes, yes it did.
Matt (08:41.645)
Yeah, and and they make no attempts to like make it an oasis It is clearly like a heavily forested area where he finds the stream like Yeah, and then he tries to feed it to the horse. Yeah gently Like there are I mean there are so many other comedy bits that happen and you know Luciano I think in the pre -show you were mentioning like just the throwaway stuff to like like they had a Chinese laundromat in Hope Springs
Luciano (08:45.324)
No.
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (08:51.408)
And he comes back with a full bucket. I can't believe I missed that. I love this.
Luciano (08:54.188)
Yeah.
Luciano (09:07.756)
Yeah, at the background. Yeah. There's, there's so many freeze frames. So when in the end, when they're dueling, like there's fighting, there's that classic Western fight where everybody shoots and nobody gets hit. And, and then he chose, you know, Brett and Johnny squaring off. And when, when Brett, like when they have the camera on Brett and he pans to the side, there's like a, like a, like four or five Chinese characters.
Chris (09:09.712)
in the background. Oh wait, when?
Oh. Yes.
Chris (09:20.24)
Big bro.
Chris (09:26.864)
Yeah.
Luciano (09:35.02)
in pink and it just says laundry at the bottom. It was like, come on movie. Like.
Chris (09:37.968)
Ah, ha ha ha. Dang.
Matt (09:42.765)
Yeah.
Chris (09:42.818)
It really makes me wonder what other gems, like Easter eggs or gems are gonna be waiting for you on that rewatch.
Luciano (09:46.924)
There's so many, yeah.
Matt (09:50.253)
Well, there was also like very early on Jill Scott as was it Maybell? Ma Bell. And she's singing the song, You Ate Shit.
Luciano (10:00.78)
Yeah.
Chris (10:00.88)
Yeah, which is probably true given given the week. Like, I don't know. This movie. Good.
Matt (10:04.109)
Yeah, I mean, 100%.
Luciano (10:07.244)
Like, I was gonna say that, that's a perfect example of like, that didn't need to exist. It was just fun. It had no purpose other than just to be funny and fun. And yeah, you kind of have to roll with the punches. Like if you're gonna overanalyze a movie like this, you're just gonna not enjoy yourself.
Chris (10:14.544)
Yes.
Chris (10:20.656)
We're through.
Matt (10:28.717)
Yeah, if you want a serious movie, this is stop. Don't watch it. You're going to have a bad time. It's a very, very bad time.
Luciano (10:33.26)
Yeah, don't watch it. Yeah. Yeah, they put they put fucking Russell Peters as the Indian chief. The only Indian who is actually an Indian, even though he's Canadian.
Chris (10:42.064)
Yeah.
Matt (10:44.397)
Yeah. There were some extremely white as hell Indians who... And they did not speak any indigenous language. Yeah.
Chris (10:44.784)
Yeah.
Luciano (10:49.132)
Oh man.
Chris (10:49.328)
NNNN
Luciano (10:52.844)
I think he was the only one. You mean the native Scandinavian? Not Native American. That wasn't a Native American. That was a native Danish person. No, he was going, whoo -ha -ha, whoo -ha, whoo -ha. That's all he did.
Chris (10:52.912)
No.
Chris (10:57.808)
No.
Matt (11:00.205)
No, that's fair. But he did not speak any indigenous language that I'm aware of. He just... I haven't seen a language translation as bad since, I think, like, was it South Park? Not South Park, but Team America World Release? When they had the Arabs and all they said was, Dirkadirkadjahadjahad? Like, that's the level it was at. Yeah.
Chris (11:08.336)
And then, yeah.
Luciano (11:18.38)
Yeah.
Chris (11:21.648)
Oh yeah.
Luciano (11:22.668)
Yeah, that's the same level. Yeah. Well, Russell Peters, when he's doing the wedding for his daughter, his daughter, who's a, you know, eight degree red and white jiu jitsu martial artist, but you know, whatever. He was going, he ride hooks that fucking horse, it doesn't bitch slap the horse. And he's going like, black guy.
Chris (11:29.68)
Yes.
Chris (11:38.832)
Oh, the guy who imp -flat the horse, we're going.
Chris (11:50.768)
That, yep, yep. But you see the, yeah, go ahead.
Luciano (11:51.404)
Like, this like, no, it's just like, this is like, nobody should take this movie seriously in any way.
Matt (11:51.757)
Yeah
Chris (12:01.04)
No. Russell Peters, I was gonna say Russell Peters. It's one of the, so I guess maybe there's like three, there could be, sorry, there's multiple occurrences where the cast, the casting into that role are meta leveraging what they're good at. So Russell Peters, that would feel like a scene he could write where the translation is something, something, something, black guy.
Luciano (12:20.14)
Yeah. Yes.
Chris (12:30.544)
Like that feels very Russell Peters to me.
Luciano (12:31.244)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Like if you've watched his stand up, he does that, like the sound thing where he's like trying to on purpose to be kind of racist. Yeah, that's definitely what it is. And actually that scene, I don't know if you guys watch this, but there's a Mel Brooks movie from the 70s called Blazing Saddles. You should watch it, it's amazing. And he plays, Mel Brooks plays the Indian chief.
Chris (12:35.984)
Mm -hmm.
Bye.
Yes.
Chris (12:50.064)
I know of it, but I've never seen it.
Matt (12:50.125)
Oh yeah, definitely watched it.
Matt (12:58.285)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Luciano (12:58.828)
And much like in this, instead of speaking any actual Native American language, he just speaks Yiddish. And that's the Native. It's like, if you know Yiddish, it's bonus because what he's saying is super racist with the Black family he's talking to. Yeah, I know. It's the 70s. What can I do? Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (13:04.525)
Yeah.
Chris (13:13.104)
Damn.
Matt (13:16.301)
Yeah.
Chris (13:16.4)
It's fine, it's fine, it is what it is.
Matt (13:19.117)
I mean, that movie was very progressive for the 70s.
Luciano (13:22.22)
Yeah, for a 70s parody of a western movie. Yeah, but still it's kind of like, yeah.
Chris (13:22.352)
Hmm.
Matt (13:27.341)
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (13:27.888)
Hmm.
Matt (13:32.141)
Oh, I mean, yeah. Well, anyway, we're here to talk about the old law, Johnny Black and not blazing saddles. Um, let's, let's.
Luciano (13:37.068)
Yeah. Too bad. I love that movie. I would watch it again.
Chris (13:39.216)
Hmm.
Matt (13:43.277)
Let's uh, listen, maybe we capture that one another time. Um, fuck I just, I mean, the last thing I'll say about that is I'm shocked if Millbrooks is still alive. He's almost a hundred. Um, he, yeah, he's far. He, I can't believe he's still going. Um, yeah, he's killing it. Um, well, let's, let's just throw it out there. Let's just see. Cause if we don't say it now, it might crop up and scare us later on.
Luciano (13:53.324)
Like 97? Something like that, yeah. Yeah.
Chris (13:53.424)
Whoa.
He's a tank.
Luciano (14:08.94)
He might come back from behind the curtain.
Chris (14:09.136)
racism?
Matt (14:12.557)
Um, well, no, not racism yet. We'll save that. Um, don't spoil alert. It was dealt with very well and very funnily in this movie. No, I, um, was there anything you didn't like? Anything that like annoyed you or bothered you about this movie?
Chris (14:15.408)
Because that was...
Chris (14:21.744)
Yeah.
Luciano (14:27.948)
I mean, I -
Matt (14:30.381)
Oh, sorry, let me clear some space for you. Ladies and gentlemen, now let's make a little space for another actually with Luciano.
Chris (14:41.072)
Brought to you by Beardtalk. Tired of manscaping your balls? Well, Beardtalk grows the hair where it's polite in society.
Luciano (14:51.852)
Except for Michael Jai White because that beard was fucking fake like it was bothering me the entire movie when when he when he gets to the point where he's shaving I'm like, ah, yes He's gonna shave the whole thing off and just leave that stupid like fucking caterpillar that Paraded as a mustache for him. What is up with that beard? Like I know I have the face of a 13 year old because I can't grow a beard for my life dependent on it I mean, I don't think that our viewers knew that but now they don't
They're not viewers, they're listeners. But you know, what is up with that beard? Like, can Michael Jai White actually grow a beard? What was going on?
Matt (15:28.909)
As someone who has a beard like Kratos, I'll allow it. I didn't notice anything and did not care in the slightest. Eh. Why? Why were you staring at his beard so hard?
Luciano (15:35.788)
What? You should have noticed more. Because you know how it... Because it's fake.
Chris (15:42.768)
Think about it. Think about it. I'm rolling with it. I know he's for the beard challenged such as he.
Matt (15:45.709)
I'm sorry, this whole movie is a joke and they're just like, oh, fake beard.
Luciano (15:49.42)
Hahaha!
Luciano (15:59.02)
It's an insult.
Chris (16:01.008)
Why are you - why are you insulting? You ha - you don't have one! If you do -
Luciano (16:05.036)
Yes, I'm sure he can grow a proper beard and he chose not to.
Chris (16:08.176)
your time skipping your time and multi -dimensional skipping into the realm the timeline where Luciano has a luscious um bush on his shit
Matt (16:21.261)
Well, you could have, you could have chose many words and you chose poorly.
Luciano (16:22.828)
That conversation took a turn. Yeah.
I'm going to choose to end my actually moment here before we get even deeper.
Chris (16:28.016)
I did that.
And that was beard talk. The only lather that you want on your bush.
Luciano (16:40.588)
This is your f -
Matt (16:43.405)
My fault.
Luciano (16:44.748)
It's not mine!
Matt (16:46.125)
Fair it's somehow my fault. It just, you know, like I think the only thing for me with this movie, the beginning, they spend their time in the beginning with some really disparate scenes to set up stuff for later on, but it feels, it doesn't feel fun in the first couple of scenes because they're just like, they're
Chris (16:49.712)
I'm sorry.
Chris (17:14.928)
Oh.
Matt (17:15.501)
They're seeing their way through, like they're really setting stuff up. Once you get past the setup and once you definitely get to Hope Springs, then it's all gold. But some of that stuff is just like, all right, why are we doing this, right? Like, you know, like we have the flashback, we don't know anything about Brett Hayden and then we get a flashback scene and then we get another flashback scene. And it's like a lot of time spent to be like, he killed his dad. It's like, I don't, you know, like I don't, it's fine. Like we're goofing around.
Chris (17:31.344)
Oh.
Matt (17:45.261)
I don't I don't need it to be serious about that serious or that intense not intense like that much time spent on like He shot his dad for no reason that sort of stuff like it could have been a little faster Well, that's that's the thing right?
Chris (17:46.928)
Yeah. You're talking about also like the whole set of the video. Interesting. Right. And, and.
Luciano (17:53.452)
Yeah.
I also thought that they spent a little like there was too much time wasted on that like there was no need to be that long flashback It did like it's not like the rest of the movie is well grounded in like storytelling. Yeah. Yeah because it's just been like a situation where you know He saw the the whole trick thing and he just guy got mad and shot him It didn't have to be the whole but then he they needed the whole preacher thing for the end So, you know
Matt (18:14.125)
Yeah.
Chris (18:16.816)
Right. Part of me feels like this is a bit this this could be because I don't know about the Sam Raimi's quick in the dead as far as like how about how those flashbacks go. But flashbacks are indicative, especially in Westerns, aren't they? So I guess playing on an extended flashback. But.
Luciano (18:40.076)
Not necessarily.
Matt (18:43.469)
I mean, they could have just said he killed my pa and I would have been like, all right, good enough reason for me. You know, like that happens and that happens in Westerns all the time. He killed my pa.
Luciano (18:45.068)
Not necessarily.
Chris (18:52.816)
Yeah, but it takes away from you.
Luciano (18:53.452)
Yeah.
Matt (18:58.989)
Sister my my family whatever and like lots of times you just see them show up and murder the family without any you know Cause they just do it and that's enough. I don't need I don't need to like like it's fine Brett Hayden is a bad dude. We got it. We don't need to see him shoot a bunch of people in a You know when he robs the bank Yeah Yeah, cuz
Chris (18:59.664)
my whole family and stuff. But it doesn't quite. Yeah.
Luciano (19:02.124)
Yeah.
Luciano (19:21.516)
in a random bank while he's trying to replicate the trick.
Chris (19:24.528)
Through that piece that piece yeah Interesting yeah, I hear you I hear you
Matt (19:26.477)
He shoots his dad, right? For no reason. We've already proven he's evil. It's fine. It's like, it's... Yeah.
Luciano (19:28.844)
Yeah.
Luciano (19:33.068)
Actually, that's a fair point because I agree with you. It would have been a bit more.
Chris (19:37.904)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Luciano (19:40.236)
within the genre, it was homage and slash parodying, right? Just a very brief scene of like, like no context, just bread shooting the old man. And then another scene where the old man was preaching and like, like just really like just flashbacks, not a whole scene. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it didn't, I think it bothered you a little bit more than it bothered me, but yeah, it was like unnecessary, I think.
Matt (19:56.461)
Yeah, yeah It just pacing of the movie was a bit off there like there could have been it was so serious in comparison to the rest of the movie and They never go back to the level of seriousness after killing his dad, right? the slap suck
Chris (19:58.384)
you
Matt (20:21.421)
just like increase, not slapstick, but like the jokes and the gags increase from there on out. Sure. Well, there is some slapstick. Yes, but it's like, it's not all slapstick. Yeah.
Luciano (20:23.404)
I mean, there is some slapstick.
Chris (20:23.92)
Yeah, right. Slapstick works.
Luciano (20:29.996)
No, no, no. Yeah, it's it's it goes like you said when you get to hope springs, then you kind of I don't want to say derails because it was never railed, but it sort of like goes off the deep end with, you know, the craziness.
Chris (20:30.384)
Yeah.
Chris (20:41.872)
And it changes course, it switches tracks altogether and it's still in a forward motion of course, but it goes in a different direction and it made it okay.
Luciano (20:50.284)
Yeah.
Matt (20:52.141)
Yeah, because I think, well, I was going to say, I think the biggest thing for me is, is I'm not exactly sure what the deal with the law, Johnny Black is. And, and in the sense of like, he's hunting Brett Clayton to kill him because he killed his dad. And he's on the run from the law. Um, and we are showing that it's obviously like a lot of it's false and made up right when he, he shoots that guy in the hat and they're like, you killed a man.
Chris (21:00.208)
Hmm Hmm
Chris (21:08.88)
Yup. Mm -hmm.
Chris (21:17.648)
Yeah.
Luciano (21:18.572)
That wanted poster. Yeah. He keeps saying like, only crime I'm guilty of is shooting me, killing a damn hat. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (21:21.168)
Yeah, I've been trying for a hat.
Matt (21:21.485)
Yeah.
Matt (21:27.757)
Yeah Yeah, and so like that's you know, obviously some of the crimes he's committed. He's allegedly committed aren't true, but it's just like He's on the run from the law and then he's trying to find this guy and then he decides to take preacher Fairman's like life Like to what end what what you're like, what are you actually trying to do here? Like are you a criminal? Because you're gonna steal $5 ,000 from the church. So I was like, oh, are you a criminal and that's
Chris (21:27.92)
Yes. Yeah.
Luciano (21:43.02)
Life? Yeah.
Chris (21:52.976)
Hmm... Hmm... Hmm...
Matt (21:57.389)
was just like a little befuddling. Right, yeah.
Luciano (21:58.828)
He says it himself, right, that he did commit a lot of crimes. He had a gang.
Chris (22:04.24)
But you didn't know he had a gang until the end of the movie
Luciano (22:05.644)
But to me, the only the one thing that, you know, when we were talking, like you said in the pre show and I thought about bringing it up. But again, it's not in the in the sort of spirit of the movie. But to me, his whole the only thing that felt a little bit forced to me was when he escapes from prison and he shoots the fucking Flintstone. I was like, the fuck Flint Rock or whatever. Wish they had said it was Flintstone, because then there was.
Matt (22:27.053)
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (22:29.936)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Luciano (22:34.988)
jokes to be made there. But and then I was like, where is he going in? Like, why is he now in the middle of nowhere dying from thirst? That to me felt like it was a little bit like, why? Yeah. And it sort of feels forced a little bit that he's, you know, like, oh, now he has a horse that's dying from thirst. It's a little bit that that was the only thing to me that I was like,
Chris (22:36.592)
Huh.
Chris (22:46.928)
Excited, sorry, accelerated.
Matt (22:49.901)
Yep.
Luciano (23:03.948)
And that was a pacing problem too.
Matt (23:04.365)
I mean, that kind of foreshadows another question that we have. But I think it's, this is a different question. I think we should talk.
Luciano (23:13.772)
Hmm.
Matt (23:15.981)
How did Johnny Black survive this movie? Because he's literally the worst planner in the history of time and space. Right? Like how many times does he just do dumb things and... Yeah. Like, I just don't understand how he never gave his horse water, right? It's a funny bit, but if you think about the logic of that, like how did you not...
Chris (23:21.488)
Yes, okay, go.
Luciano (23:25.452)
Oh my god, yes.
He shoots himself in the foot with his plans all the time. Yeah.
Chris (23:31.696)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (23:42.352)
plus one.
Matt (23:44.845)
Give your horse any water. Why are you taking this man's life? Why couldn't you tell that the arrow was clearly in the Bible? Like, yeah.
Luciano (23:52.588)
There's no blood!
Chris (23:53.616)
Mm -hmm.
Well, I mean, it was that scene and taking taking like this feels like it's becoming an um, actually, but anyway, I'm micro, um, actually, but like they were being attacked. Percy got shot. He didn't want to get shot. So he ran away and like Percy wasn't like, ah, I'm still like shot dead.
Matt (24:02.381)
Yeah.
Luciano (24:17.164)
Yeah, but that's exactly why I was saying, because it's like, okay, so he was running away. He was running away from Randy Couture. I don't remember the character's name. And he escapes because he blows up the bridge in the worst CGI of Space and Time. And then he runs away and he almost dies from thirst and then Percy saves him.
Chris (24:27.44)
Mm -hmm.
Matt (24:27.629)
Yeah.
Chris (24:35.056)
Canyon, right.
Luciano (24:44.748)
Like what like what was he what was his ultimate plan there? Was there any player who was just running? They decided you know what I have this guy this guy is dead Maybe I can duck from the law, but then he runs into a marshal in the sea deep are actually one of the rarest characters in all of Western a competent lawman so rare
Chris (24:58.224)
Right.
Matt (25:01.421)
Yes.
Chris (25:01.68)
Hey, oh wow. Right.
Matt (25:09.965)
Right, one that confronts the main villain and isn't just in his pocket.
Luciano (25:13.868)
Yeah, exactly. Unlike the sheriff, which is what you come to expect from these movies, right?
Chris (25:16.4)
Right? But then they, so they did it and they flipped it and still made it okay. Cool.
Matt (25:20.365)
Well, so this this begs the question This begs the question He's not the gang leader, right? He can't be the gang leader. Oh
Luciano (25:22.7)
Yeah, yeah. No, it was great. But in that sense, like, but going back to your point, Matt, like, it's like, how did he survive from being a child as we see him when his dad dies and being the adult, he is now clearly a competent, accomplished outlaw of some sort.
Chris (25:40.848)
Right. Hmm.
Luciano (25:49.164)
I think he is.
Chris (25:50.928)
Thank you.
Matt (25:51.437)
Is it because he's the best shot? Because that's, I mean, he clearly is like the best fighter, but like, so we'll get there, sir. You just wait. But so like, so he just had like a brain, like a brain's guide to like plan the heists in the, in the gang. You don't think Michael Madsen was the brain to the offer?
Chris (25:54.704)
the best fighter and the best shot. Can't have them all. Yes, yes.
Luciano (25:56.396)
Yeah, he commits kung -fu treachery you put some respect on
Yeah, I know, I know.
Chris (26:12.24)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:12.684)
Maybe that wasn't a lot of planning, it was just going in and doing shit and running away and getting lucky, I guess.
mastermind? I don't know maybe maybe maybe or maybe you know discount quite quite chan kane was the brains of the operation well he was
Matt (26:21.837)
Yeah. All right.
Chris (26:21.84)
That could have worked, yo. I feel like we could have a prequel all of a sudden, but no.
Chris (26:29.808)
Oh, well.
Matt (26:30.221)
Wow. Okay.
No, that's fair. Listen, you're gonna go there, so let's just take this beautiful segue you've created and dive right into it. This movie does a masterful job of making fun of all of the racist tropes that you might find in a Western or, maybe not the Western movie, but in the West in terms of everything, right? Like, you know, what was the crime, the major crime that they were gonna blame that was happening in the city?
Chris (26:36.528)
weapons.
Chris (26:50.672)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:52.204)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:56.908)
white white woman raped by black men
Matt (27:00.397)
Right. They have an acronym that everybody knew what it was. That's how confident it is. And it superseded constitutional law, I think.
Luciano (27:02.956)
Yeah, yeah.
According to the sheriff. Yeah, even when there isn't a single white woman in town I love that. I love that whole scene. Oh my god
Matt (27:12.557)
That's correct. Yeah. Yeah. That's not important. That doesn't phase anything. Yeah.
Chris (27:18.256)
And that's it and that's like another layer of I don't know if you guys picked up on it, but another layer of Western movies that this thing is adopted that you know, oh gee, oh, JB has like played with
Matt (27:26.349)
you
Luciano (27:28.076)
you
Chris (27:35.12)
I've completely lost my po -
Luciano (27:37.068)
Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, he just ran away from you. Yeah.
Chris (27:41.296)
I had it, I just lost it.
Matt (27:44.717)
We're going to, we're going to rerail back to Luciano saying something there and I'll just cut out the fact that you lost your train of thought.
Chris (27:50.8)
I had it.
Luciano (27:53.118)
You want me to pick up on something, whatever? Yeah, so I thought it was like, they struck a really good balance in those scenes of the comedy and also being sort of critical. I really like it. It's not like holier than thou on your face, but it...
Matt (27:55.661)
Yeah, whatever.
Matt (28:10.637)
Yes.
Luciano (28:15.788)
the point across, at least for me, it drove the point across of the racism. And they did it in very weird ways. Like we were talking about, you know, the Scandinavian being an Indian and then an actual Indian being an Indian and so on and so forth. A different, like the actual Indian and not a Native American. Yeah. And even like, even the fact that they didn't use any N word, actually, like...
Matt (28:29.837)
but a different Indian. An Indian and not an indigenous person would be the correct terminology.
Chris (28:42.128)
Yeah, that's a problem. Negra. Like, don't speak about that Negro in my -
Luciano (28:45.036)
Yeah, he was the only one using that word. And even if we go by what's in the subtitles that I watch with the subtitles, because I always do, they weren't even writing the word as you would expect it. They were writing it N -I -G -R -A. I don't know if that was on purpose or if.
Matt (28:45.933)
yeah
Matt (29:02.349)
That was with the accent a Southern, sir.
Luciano (29:05.196)
I see. Yeah, I was fully expecting when when I saw him talking about the white man land I'm like, oh boy, he's gonna pull a DiCaprio in Django and just hit that like he's gonna, you know, not only use the N word but stick the landing on the hard R. I thought it was gonna be the whole shebang. Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah.
Chris (29:06.768)
in the air, gruh.
Matt (29:12.173)
Yeah.
Chris (29:14.064)
Yeah.
Matt (29:24.653)
The hardest of ours, yeah. No, but I appreciate it they didn't do that, right? Because like the whole point of this is to make fun of everything and it's hard to do that when that's happening. But like, yeah, one of the best parts they do is when they're like, they want to, there shouldn't be black folk on our land and his buddy's like.
Luciano (29:33.324)
Yeah, oh yeah, think about it we're in the Cherokee whatever Cherokee Village next to the chocolate whatever I don't remember that That's white man land if I ever heard of one I Lies so good. This is
Chris (29:39.92)
Yeah.
Matt (29:50.861)
Yeah, they are clearly indigenous names.
Matt (29:58.893)
That rings true right now, apparently. Whoopsies.
Luciano (30:01.292)
Oh yeah, I mean, you know, even here in Canada, like all of the names that we have, all the towns...
Matt (30:06.957)
Especially here in Canada, we are extremely guilty of doing that.
Luciano (30:12.684)
Oh yeah and no and we and I mean exactly specifically the whole you know you could have replaced those town names with Toronto and Mississauga and then Tobico you know that those are white men land if I've ever heard of one right so it works really well.
Matt (30:23.501)
Well, to be fair, yeah, yeah, it does. White people suck.
Chris (30:26.96)
Hmm.
Luciano (30:29.676)
Exactly.
Chris (30:33.072)
goes parry.
Matt (30:36.109)
Wow, um, no, so I just think they did a really good job of that and and I appreciated the fact that they Because it had to come up right you had to deal with it at some point because it's this it's it's the Wild West So I appreciate they attacked it and that it really made the movie that much enjoyable for me because because they attacked it that way One more the question I want to ask you guys before we skip plot holes and dive into questions This movie spent
Luciano (30:43.532)
Yeah.
Matt (31:05.805)
I don't know 20 bucks on like their action sequences and I really appreciated it because Like you know Michael Chai white does not look like You know, I don't want to say John wick cuz John wick well Yeah, John what cuz didn't shoot a bunch of people do anything But I appreciate the simplicity of the action sequences like it's not super blurs We don't want you know what's happening It's not all these crazy, you know, like moves like Jason Statham would do or in fast and furious. It's just like
Luciano (31:09.324)
Yeah.
Matt (31:35.341)
him slowly slapping dudes and like when he pauses like and stands there and pose and then a guy attacks them and he just kind of like throws them away and then he turns to fight bread at the end. It's just like perfect. I don't need you to try any harder than that.
Chris (31:35.632)
A fucking Megalodon.
Luciano (31:43.5)
Yeah.
No, this movie is very self -aware and I think it does it credit, right? Not have tried to do anything like super because it was spoofing a movie though like Westerns were in like, I don't know the 60s maybe 50s 60s 70s what superhero movies are now Everybody was making them and they have a very specific sort of aesthetic and a very specific way of doing things And I think they did well enough to
Chris (31:54.576)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (32:10.928)
Mm -hmm.
Matt (32:19.501)
you
Luciano (32:20.172)
stay true to that, but still be funny and enjoyable. Now, because if you watch a Western now, even like the ones that everybody knows are good, those movies are slow as fuck, except for like the fights or whatever. Those movies are really slow and they manage to kind of pace it. At least those parts well enough. And I don't know who's responsible for that part, but whoever it is did a really good job.
Matt (32:47.405)
Yeah, 100%. Chris, the love, what do you call it? Love square, the love.
Luciano (32:56.044)
Doedecahedron?
Chris (32:57.424)
I was gonna say go decahedra.
Matt (32:59.373)
Love, the love who's on first, what's on second. Yeah. How do you think that played out? Do you think it would play out like that? Like I'm curious why.
Luciano (33:02.892)
Yeah, that's better.
Matt (33:17.933)
Why, uh, Jesse.
was cool with like
hitting on her sister's man but then got mad at him later on. Like how that played out or like, there's just something there that like it itches.
Chris (33:32.08)
Mm -hmm.
Let's untangle it. Okay. Because.
Johnny impersonated Percy and Bessie never knew. And not once did Johnny ever give in to his carnal animalistic natures as a red -blooded human being all worked up would do. He never acted on it, but Bessie's still going, going, going. I think Bessie would, as soon as something...
Luciano (33:44.3)
Percy, yeah.
Matt (33:45.133)
Correct.
Chris (34:11.408)
happened and like, no shit, this is a dodecahedron. I thought I could unravel it. It is so complicated actually. Oh my God. Yeah.
Luciano (34:16.236)
Hahaha!
Matt (34:21.261)
Because Bessie sleeps with Percy. Yeah.
Luciano (34:23.82)
Thinking it's Johnny Percy.
Chris (34:23.824)
Real Percy. Right.
Yes.
Matt (34:28.557)
No, right? Like they have very different body shapes.
Luciano (34:30.156)
I... Yeah.
Chris (34:31.952)
thought but it was dark and she was worked up. Yeah could have been could anything let's make sure that was captured. Luciano's reaction was that ladies and gentlemen of the audience that means he ain't shit compared compared to Johnny.
Matt (34:34.829)
You know what, Percy was a prize fighter, so maybe he also was r -
Luciano (34:37.644)
Yeah.
Luciano (34:52.748)
I took it to be for just comedy effect, right? Like it's not.
Matt (35:01.965)
Well, I'm not trying to piss on the movie specifically, I'm just trying to open up the conversation and have fun with it. Yeah.
Chris (35:05.264)
Right, the dodecahedron. Why was Jesse okay with, like, Jesse was like, okay, cool, but then Jesse was not fighting with, Jesse and Bessie, this is the first time I just connected that, Jesse and Bessie. Anyway.
Luciano (35:06.316)
Yeah, no, I agree with you. It's a little bit...
Matt (35:17.741)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (35:18.014)
Yeah, yeah, it's like, why do you have to be a confusing movie? Like to me, honestly, Jessie's character is the most sort of like out of the blue, out of left field character in this movie because she, cause they talk about her and you know, were any of the two of you fooled when they kept saying, oh, Jessie, we should, Jessie should be the mayor.
Matt (35:21.069)
you
Chris (35:32.688)
Hmm.
Matt (35:35.309)
you
Luciano (35:44.748)
And she goes, oh, as Jesse's sister. And were any of you fooled thinking that Jesse was Elmer? Like that it was a man?
Matt (35:51.231)
No, not for a second.
Chris (35:54.096)
Yeah, I was, I have to admit it. I thought that like, oh, this must be Jesse because of the presence and like that dynamic shot. And he's like, starts, he starts, um, politic legs. He's like spitting those politic infused rhymes, right? Like, and then I was like, oh, like, but yeah.
Matt (36:06.765)
you
Luciano (36:13.196)
I mean it goes off the rails immediately.
Matt (36:16.013)
Why are both his eyes moving like that?
Chris (36:19.504)
Until until you saw both those doodly doodly doodly googly googly's moving around and like perfect Yeah, oh my god like really really great switcheroo on their part So yes, I have to admit I I was fooled up until like wait, huh? Cuz I never paid attention to I never paid attention to who else was in the
Luciano (36:19.788)
Oh man, that was so, that was so off -putting. And I have to, I have to pee. I have to pee now. Yep. Have to pee right now. Yeah.
Chris (36:45.424)
in the horse buggy I just I was like people and they thought that person is taller and so assumptions so I fell for it.
Luciano (36:52.716)
Yeah, I was not. I mean, I was not convinced because when, especially when they like the two of them roll and they say, here's Jesse now. I'm like, Oh.
Chris (36:55.824)
Eww, I'm not.
Matt (37:07.501)
You know what it was actually? This is what threw it off for me. I wasn't thinking about this until just now when you mentioned it. What tipped me off, because I watched this in closed captions, because when I was watching I didn't want it to be too loud because my daughter was sleeping. She's like one year old, right? I don't want her to wake up. I can't deal with that. While I'm watching the movie. I can't deal with it. I'm a father. I know what to do. I don't want to deal with it. That's the word I should use. Forget everything I said.
Chris (37:09.808)
That's a thing, isn't that a pattern too in Western?
Luciano (37:29.836)
Sucks, sucks, sucks.
Luciano (37:35.884)
there you go
Matt (37:37.517)
The point is, is that they showed in the captioning her name was Jessie with an IE.
Luciano (37:41.132)
Oh, not an E. Yes. Maybe that's what it, yes, yes.
Chris (37:43.824)
Oh, oh, oh, oh. I did not have subtitles. I just thought E -J -E -S -F. Oh.
Matt (37:48.077)
So Yeah, and so because of that seeing the IE my brain went to it being female not male
Luciano (37:57.068)
And especially with Jesse and Bessie too, it's, yeah. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah.
Matt (38:01.133)
Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's why I, I just, like, I knew it was going to be, if I, if I hadn't seen the subtitling, I think I may have been like, Oh, that's interesting. I might've fallen for it as well, especially because they haven't get out and do a big thing. Like I, you know, your first expectation is. Yeah.
Chris (38:01.52)
for fame.
Luciano (38:11.948)
Right.
Chris (38:14.736)
Yes, it really hooked you. They hooked me, like, especially without subtitles.
Luciano (38:19.244)
That was a very, very Keegan -Michael key -ish performance. Yeah.
Matt (38:22.989)
Yes. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, yeah, that's, I think that's what caught me on it. This is just like the captioning tipped me off to what was happening. Yeah.
Chris (38:23.632)
Yes.
Luciano (38:29.964)
Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. So as I was saying, like to me, Jessie, like they talk about her a lot longer, a lot before she shows up. And when she shows up, everything surrounding her is a little bit too fast and convenient. She looks like, like Johnny meets with Bessie and he interacts with her and she kind of fawns over him, especially when he's shirtless. Man is jacked by the way. Holy shit.
Chris (38:37.488)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (38:41.328)
head up.
Matt (38:43.469)
you
Chris (38:56.176)
Yes. Good for him because he's getting like he's getting age and like that's and he's still still he's a tank. He's a tank. He gets the Mel Brooks award for being a tank.
Luciano (39:01.1)
Yeah. Well, 100%. And he like, it makes like, those interactions make it seem like he's like, just not even thinking about sex or anything like that. Or he's like, and the moment he sees Jessie from afar, he goes, oh, and she goes as well. She kind of like stutters when she's talking and it feels a little too fast that she goes, oh, you know, I know you've been courting my sister for two years, but...
Chris (39:13.712)
Not with Bessie. No. Right. Yeah. Mm -hmm.
Luciano (39:30.668)
And so going back to your question and the Dodd -e -Cahedron, she goes, oh, I know you've been courting my sister, but it seemed like we had a moment then, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It's a little bit too like, I feel like they should have brought Jessie on earlier a little bit. That would have been a bit less forced. But again, this is super nitpicky, right? At least, yeah.
Chris (39:30.928)
something about you, Dr. Hedren.
Chris (39:39.952)
I'm so sorry for losing myself.
Matt (39:53.773)
Oh, 100%. I just, it's just unpacking that dude Decahedra a little bit. And like Percy, like I think the interesting thing for me is like Percy should have just been like, it's me. Cause like, wouldn't he, like, and I know Johnny threatened to shoot him, but like, once you got yours, I didn't want to continue getting mine.
Chris (39:55.888)
I could say. Yeah.
Luciano (39:57.356)
Yeah, it's funny, right?
Chris (40:11.28)
Yeah.
Luciano (40:13.292)
Yeah.
Yeah, and it was the woman with the woman he wanted he's been wanting ever since right? Yeah
Chris (40:16.912)
Wait, what? Getting what?
Matt (40:17.549)
Yeah, with Bessie.
Chris (40:21.154)
Oh, yeah. And the gap there, I think, is because the audience knew Johnny wasn't going after Bessie. And that's obviously weird, but Johnny and Percy never had that real enough catch up apart from, this is what's going on and you're going to help me because I'm going to kill this dude. So they didn't have the right conversation one and conversation two.
Luciano (40:44.556)
That's true.
Matt (40:49.261)
Yeah, right. You're right. Because that's what causes the good Reverend, fake Reverend. He couldn't give his first sermon because he lost his voice from laryngitis. And then he gets mad at Percy for having... Yeah, he gets mad.
Chris (40:55.952)
Yeah.
Luciano (40:59.916)
Yeah.
Chris (41:00.592)
Yes.
Luciano (41:02.7)
And he yells at him. Yeah.
Chris (41:03.984)
Sorry, sorry, the audience needs to make sure. That wasn't Percy, that was Deacon. Deacon, Deacon. Continue.
Matt (41:08.557)
Sorry, deacon, deacon, deacon, that's right. Deacon, deacon, deacon. Triple deak, sleft, sleft with Bessie, and then fake, fake reverend finds out and yells at him while the sermon's going on, and then is forced to deliver his sermon. So you're right, you needed that confusion, so that clears it up. Thank you for solving that problem.
Luciano (41:08.588)
Dicken Dicken. Dicken Dicken Dicken. Yeah.
Chris (41:15.248)
Hey, holy shit!
Luciano (41:15.596)
hahahahah
Chris (41:24.752)
Uh, uh.
Luciano (41:25.036)
Yeah.
Luciano (41:34.124)
Yeah. Again, demonstrating how Johnny had no business being alive if he was the mastermind of anything. Like the fact that he came up with the thing on the spot to say, oh, he was my deacon, right? When he was talking to him, I was like, okay, that's clever. And then that's, that's the extent to where he went, oh, you're my deacon. What's your name?
Chris (41:35.024)
Yeah.
Matt (41:42.445)
Nothing. No idea.
Chris (41:43.28)
End of
Chris (41:47.76)
Yeah.
Matt (41:48.141)
Yeah. Great.
Chris (41:50.992)
What, so what's his name?
What is - DIG IT!
Matt (41:57.069)
To be fair, DeaconDeaconDeacon creates part of the problem when he says it's my last when Johnny says it's first. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. You should have discussed it.
Luciano (41:58.028)
Hahaha!
Oh yeah.
Chris (42:04.176)
But they both said first and left. Beautiful.
Luciano (42:05.548)
But that's the thing, like, you know, if this is the head of a gang, he might have thought that the name would come up, right?
Chris (42:14.64)
Right, right. He's totally had a master strategist as part of the gang, which again, the cherry on top in the earlier part of the movie, which I forgot to pin during this section was like, why and how was Johnny so chill with being about to behave? It's like he's he's he's talented in in like fisticuffs and gunslinging, but like his.
Luciano (42:32.268)
Yeah.
Chris (42:38.512)
His presence of mind is just out the window about to get hung and he's like laughing at a joke, which was funny. Like I'm about to die for a hat.
Luciano (42:42.476)
Yeah. It reminds me of that meme with James Franco where there's the other guy in the yeah. First time. Yeah. That's how it, that's how it felt like the queue was like, Oh, I this again. Right.
Chris (42:49.68)
Which one?
Matt (42:50.669)
First time.
Chris (42:53.392)
All that. Yes. Yes.
Matt (42:55.949)
Yeah. I mean, honestly, he's probably been in that situation before based on the crimes he gets accused of. This is probably a good point for us to drive by plot holes real quick. There's none. Guys, there's just there's nothing here to talk about for plot holes. Everything is a plot hole, but nothing is a plot hole because the movie is just trying to be fun and show action. And like I said, they do a great job of setting things up. So when Percy, sorry, Deacon, Deacon, Deacon goes off and gets his
Luciano (43:00.108)
Yeah.
Chris (43:02.928)
Okay. True.
Meow.
Chris (43:15.664)
Yeah, it's popcorn.
Chris (43:23.44)
Thank you.
Matt (43:25.101)
his original indigenous family to come help, well we set that gag up because they captured him and married him off to their uh daughter? son?
Chris (43:28.56)
Yes.
Chris (43:34.192)
Yeah, I can't remember the name. Sun of light or rose or something.
Luciano (43:34.86)
Yeah.
Matt (43:40.141)
Yeah.
Luciano (43:41.228)
Oh yeah, they say the name, I don't know.
Chris (43:44.272)
Yeah.
Matt (43:44.941)
They even make mention of...
Luciano (43:45.644)
His bride, the horse punching bride.
Matt (43:50.157)
Sure, yeah, but even make mention of like Johnny's gang, right? So when they show up, it's like, oh yeah, Johnny has a gang. And like, listen, you can pick out stuff like, oh, I thought the marshal was dead and he shows back up and he...
Chris (43:50.224)
Yeah, oh my god.
Luciano (44:03.532)
Yeah, but just Johnny is really bad at noticing who's dead and who's alive.
Chris (44:04.176)
Ugh, arm in a sling.
Matt (44:08.749)
That's a thing we'll talk about, I think. So we're going to skip plot holes because it's just not fun. It's not worth anybody's time. And we're going to dive right into our questions and just get to it. We mentioned, I just mentioned that Deacon, Deacon, Deacon went to find his indigenous family so they could help defend Hope Springs. But he ran away from them. He escaped.
Luciano (44:14.892)
Yeah.
Chris (44:16.08)
But we still had fun.
Chris (44:20.944)
Dig it.
Chris (44:25.392)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (44:29.712)
Yup.
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (44:35.404)
Right. Yes.
Chris (44:35.76)
Yes. Yes.
Matt (44:37.901)
How did he convince them, recruit them as you were, to come help the Van Hope Springs?
Chris (44:41.488)
Yes.
Chris (44:46.832)
Quite frankly, there's only, when you like, given that shotgun, that silent shotgun wedding escape.
Luciano (44:53.324)
Excuse you. It's a Bo wedding. It's a bow and arrow or a tomahawk wedding. Tomahawk wedding is better. Let's go with tomahawk wedding. I like it.
Chris (44:56.72)
Oh, Tomahawk. A bow and arrow. A Tomahawk wedding. Shout out to the Atlanta Braves. It is. Because, well, I didn't say that.
Matt (45:03.853)
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, that's good. No, that's racist as shit.
Luciano (45:11.18)
It could have been worse. He could have said Chicago Redskins. Yeah.
Matt (45:14.637)
It's Washington and they're not a real thing anymore. That's the Blackhawks in Chicago. Washington football team. So, okay, listen, I'm gonna take you down this trip real fast. There is the Kansas City Chiefs. And they are, that's not great. Then there's Chicago Blackhawks, apparently, allegedly named after an Army regiment. And I'm pretty certain that Army regiment didn't get that name because of the birds in the air with black feathers.
Luciano (45:17.26)
I know, they change, right? That's right, that's right.
Chris (45:19.92)
The Black What?
Chris (45:24.336)
Ha ha!
Luciano (45:24.78)
It's the, I'm actually Matt edition.
Chris (45:30.224)
Yeah. Yes.
Luciano (45:31.66)
or Blackhawks.
Chris (45:41.488)
Mm.
Matt (45:42.669)
And then we had the Washington Redskins, the single most racist name ever in the history of pro sports. They got rid of that name. Now there's the Washington commanders or the Washington commies. If you'd like to shorten things.
Luciano (45:49.004)
Yes.
Chris (45:50.736)
Hmm. Good. Yep.
Oh my.
Luciano (45:55.98)
Oh. Oh no. Cause it could have been worse. It could have been just the Washington skins.
Chris (45:58.864)
The Washington Comanches. They could, well that, I thought you were about to say Comanches. I was like, oh Lord. Okay. Commies. I heard you, but I thought you were on your hearing. Oh yes.
Matt (46:04.877)
No, no, commanders or commies. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and also there was the Cleveland Indians. They also, they had a Chief Wahoo, it was the single most racist caricature of a native or indigenous person ever. Just calling him Chief Wahoo. Anyways, they got rid of that, now they're the Cleveland Guardians.
Luciano (46:11.692)
That's true.
Chris (46:17.904)
Whoa.
Luciano (46:18.124)
Oh.
Luciano (46:22.828)
I thought I was going to be Cleveland Native Americans, which wouldn't have been much better. Anyhow.
Chris (46:28.848)
Oh no. Oh. Yes.
Luciano (46:34.668)
So you were talking about their plans. Or not plans, sorry, how he convinced his lovely bride. Oh, yeah.
Matt (46:35.053)
Anyhow, yeah, yeah.
Chris (46:37.712)
Yeah, okay, right. So how do you convince?
Matt (46:40.877)
because of the Tomahawk wedding.
Chris (46:42.672)
There's only one, yeah, the Tomahawk wedding. Oh wow, full circle, we did it, we got back. Listen, there's only one solution that sways an entire community, especially when you ran out on their desert flower. You must lay with the desert flower.
Matt (46:46.733)
Hey.
Luciano (46:59.308)
Oh, is that how it - is that why it took so long?
Chris (47:01.872)
Listen, sometimes when we touch. Well, he didn't take anything he took from the team and had to give back to the team.
Luciano (47:04.876)
Oh, I took one for the team. It's admirable. Admirable.
Luciano (47:13.9)
Yeah, it was.
Matt (47:13.965)
We don't were I don't like how we're characterizing like it was he was not interested. I think he just didn't want to marry because he he was in love. But when push comes to shove, you got to save your time. You got to save your love. I don't think that means he didn't get into it. Yeah, OK. Yeah, OK. Just.
Chris (47:21.808)
was already in love.
Luciano (47:23.692)
Yeah.
Chris (47:30.576)
You know.
Luciano (47:30.892)
Oh, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying he is like, I know I might be in trouble with the woman I love, but I need to do this. Yeah. Exactly.
Chris (47:36.912)
Yes. In order to save the town, sometimes you need to you need to lay it down and turn it loose, as they say.
Matt (47:37.549)
but I gotta do this. Right.
Matt (47:46.701)
What are you laying down?
Chris (47:48.528)
laying down these sweet buttery buttermilk biscuits with a hint of Hope Springs jam on ya. Yeah!
Luciano (47:55.692)
I don't know if that was all that was any better than just saying the word dick, but you know, I don't think it was.
Chris (47:59.536)
Listen
Matt (48:00.941)
You know, I appreciate that Chris painted a visual picture, whatever that is. No.
Luciano (48:05.964)
Yeah, I know, but I'm not sure there was any better.
Chris (48:09.168)
Listen, what you call your tallywhacker and what I call my tallywhacker is my business.
Luciano (48:12.158)
See if I had exactly it's
Matt (48:14.445)
Sounds like you call yours a tallywhacker, which is a problem that we're not going into. Okay, anyways, we're past you. Luciano, do you have a different suggestion?
Chris (48:17.2)
Listen, I did not want to use the D -I -C -K word at the point in time.
Luciano (48:26.316)
Um, I I think that he needed to invoke the name of the lord He uh, he Yeah, of course if if if the colonization of america is anything to go by Am I the problem I am the problem Yeah, no, I was because when well chris was painting his you know
Matt (48:34.445)
Oh, because indigenous people are real big on Christianity? Okay, fair enough.
Matt (48:44.301)
Oof.
Matt (48:48.173)
You might be the bro.
Luciano (48:55.948)
his whole scene with words for us, I was wondering, something I didn't even realize at the time when I was watching the movie, but nobody understood English. How the fuck did he communicate with them?
Matt (48:59.885)
uh...
Chris (49:05.168)
you
Matt (49:08.973)
He had a sexual manifest destiny.
Luciano (49:11.308)
Ah, I see. And he just downloaded like Neo in the matrix downloading Kung Fu. He downloaded whatever language they spoke. Okay. I mean, that's plausible as anything I'd say. Ah.
Matt (49:15.565)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I think Chris is right, it was a language of love. He spoke, you know, are you familiar with puppetry of the penis?
Chris (49:26.544)
more
What? Why does that sound like an ad you would hear on YouTube?
Luciano (49:30.572)
I wish, I wish, I'm not, and I wish I didn't even know the term, but.
Matt (49:37.101)
That's that is a hundred percent. That is a hundred percent a real show. You can go see it's two Australian dudes that like make shapes and things with their dicks and balls.
Chris (49:37.52)
Oh, it's puppetry! It's a penis! It sounds -
Chris (49:47.152)
Oh my god, no! Are you serious?
Luciano (49:47.756)
I will not watch that and I resent that you suggest that I would.
Matt (49:50.061)
100%.
I mean, I'm just asking you if you're familiar, but I think that is what he did. So he didn't have to go all the way to where Chris said.
Chris (49:53.104)
Tree hop penis.
Luciano (49:56.812)
I am not.
I wish I could go back a minute ago when I didn't know about this.
Chris (50:04.048)
Sir, you sounded extra scholarly when you spat that combination of words. Are you familiar with the puppetry of the penis? Offered by DeVry, MIT, the Florida U -iversity.
Matt (50:18.221)
Yeah. The Ohio State University, puppetry of penis.
Luciano (50:19.052)
Anyway.
Chris (50:22.64)
The Ohio... Poach brought to you by Brock Lesnar.
Matt (50:30.925)
Sure. Next question.
We get a list of crimes that Johnny Black is guilty of or wanted for, allegedly guilty of. These are the things that lead to his moniker labeling as an outlaw, quote unquote. The list that we hear, train robbery, horse thievery, improper white woman eye contact.
Luciano (50:41.996)
Allegedly YouTube, yeah.
Chris (50:44.304)
Right.
Luciano (50:50.38)
Right, right.
Chris (50:59.568)
Improper white white
Luciano (50:59.66)
Uh oh.
Matt (51:01.229)
Proper there's a proper way to look at white women apparently kung fu treachery bilking the bishop and We have inciting badassery Which I'm not sure how you do exactly and then there's also one Luciano was the last one you mentioned?
Luciano (51:06.092)
Yeah.
Chris (51:07.152)
Gee. Yes.
Luciano (51:12.14)
Yes.
Luciano (51:15.692)
Yes.
Chris (51:19.088)
Bye.
Luciano (51:22.252)
malicious product displacement not placement displacement yeah i guess he was fucking around with window shops i don't know
Matt (51:24.397)
Alright, yeah. Displacement. Yeah.
Chris (51:26.32)
Yes, please.
Matt (51:32.845)
Maybe. Who knows how displaced it was. But I think the ones I wanted the most about are, there's two. First, I want to know either what is Kung Fu treachery or what did Johnny Black do to be convicted of or wanted for Kung Fu treachery?
Chris (51:34.096)
They follow. Okay.
Chris (51:52.208)
Yes. Luciano, you want to tag team this?
Luciano (51:55.596)
Sure, I think that in the spirit of this movie and the way that things are, I think the mere fact that he knew Kung Fu was treachery. And so his usage of sad martial art in the execution of his duties as an outlaw, I don't know if they're duties, no they are, he incurred into Kung Fu treachery vis -a -vis the treachery of the use of Kung Fu.
Chris (52:06.384)
Mm!
Matt (52:08.653)
Yeah.
Chris (52:09.52)
Hmm.
Luciano (52:25.292)
by the mere use of said, or said use of said kung fu. Does the counselor agree?
Chris (52:33.712)
I hope you're referring to me because we're supposed to be tag teaming. I do concur. And if the court will allow, if I... You should have told me this in your chambers. I thought we were both trying to get to Judge Spottie, you in Hope Springs and me in Beaumont, but now I'm learning things I never knew. I never knew.
Luciano (52:35.18)
Yes. Yes, yes.
Matt (52:36.429)
Yeah.
Luciano (52:39.276)
Hahaha!
Luciano (52:43.532)
I'll allow it.
I am the law court.
Chris (53:03.152)
I concur.
Matt (53:04.205)
Oh great job, win attack team, hi guys. I would like to just suggest that maybe Kung Fu treachery is when you make your penis do Kung Fu on people. Just throwing it out there.
Luciano (53:06.988)
Did you lose your train of thought again?
Luciano (53:17.132)
Why again with the fucking penis?
Chris (53:17.872)
You're on a roll! So much is happening cosmically, Mercury must be in retrograde!
Matt (53:25.293)
I'm pretty sure you can pop your penis into several kung fu positions slash moves.
Chris (53:28.688)
Oh
Luciano (53:31.756)
No! How? Do your penis, does your penis have arms? Like what the fuck? I don't wanna know, don't answer. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I asked.
Chris (53:32.336)
It's impossible.
Matt (53:36.173)
I'm sorry sir. I'm sorry sir.
Chris (53:38.224)
our listeners think of the listeners think of the listeners that could be children
Matt (53:43.821)
Listen, they need to learn about these things early in their lives.
Luciano (53:44.204)
All right, this, also if there are listeners of this, there are children, this is their father's and mother's mistakes.
Matt (53:51.181)
Yeah, they don't listen to this.
Chris (53:51.856)
Yeah. Listen, child, you're going to be all right. When it comes to Kung Fu treachery, you are about to be well -learned in the verity of multiple -licities of Kung Fu treachery. My good friend Luciano just explained one, and the other is... Well, I concur. Well, I did not say that! No!
Luciano (54:04.364)
And...
Luciano (54:10.06)
Apparently penis tracheory with kung fu.
Matt (54:12.845)
I'm just, I'm just asking questions. That's all I'm here for. Speaking of asking questions, Billking the Bishop. I mean, Bishop is a euphemism for the, for the penis, is it not?
Luciano (54:18.38)
Ah.
Chris (54:18.544)
Oh my -
Chris (54:22.96)
Whoa! What?
Luciano (54:23.98)
I... yeah.
Oh my god. You know what? I have to allow this one because that's exactly what I thought as well.
Chris (54:28.784)
What?
Chris (54:32.784)
What happened to me? What happened to that? So the bish. So no wonder black, no wonder Johnny. No wonder Johnny black is so so he was quick with the naming and understanding of the org structures of of the clergy, right? I mean, like instantly he's my deacon and then bilking the bishop. Something happened there.
Matt (54:33.741)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (54:55.596)
He's my, he's my dick?
Chris (55:00.24)
Triple Deak in.
Matt (55:00.621)
Nice. Triple D, Deak. Deak.
Luciano (55:01.356)
Yeah.
Chris (55:05.104)
Ooh, sneaky, dicky.
Matt (55:07.021)
That deer.
Luciano (55:08.78)
So it all goes back to the Catholic Church and penises is what you're saying.
Matt (55:12.397)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But to do the other thing with bilking the bishop, it's not what you think. It is not just jerking your dick off. That's too easy. That's...
Chris (55:13.776)
Yes.
Chris (55:23.024)
Whoa, that's the second scenario. What if he was, what if he something, what if someone thought they, what if someone believed that they massive air quotes, believed that he was bilking his Bishop somewhere when once again, he was probably selecting cucumbers to make a Romaine salad of sorts.
Luciano (55:42.188)
if there was an actual bishop.
Matt (55:42.829)
Chris.
Chris (55:45.072)
Yes. Okay.
Matt (55:45.229)
Chris, can I ask you a question? How would you make selecting a cucumber for a salad look like jerking off?
Chris (55:54.)
bishop because because
Matt (55:57.261)
So, oh, okay, so what's one thing stronger Luciano? The answer a bishop or the answer because.
Chris (56:02.096)
I'm sorry.
Chris (56:06.544)
No, because, because!
Luciano (56:07.596)
You both make very good points, but... Strong arguments.
Matt (56:09.997)
Strong, strong statements. Yeah.
Chris (56:10.8)
See? See? This is what happens when you're alerted from the finest university on a bomb -a -boat in the Mississippi.
Luciano (56:20.844)
It's in university that he learned how to book the bishop, I'll tell you.
Matt (56:23.693)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (56:24.24)
See? See? And I'm graduated summa cum laude, I have, you know? What? What? What happened? The spirit of Intel said to away with you, Holy Walter. Holy Walter, I command you to exit out of my home, Patriot.
Matt (56:29.133)
Heavy on the coom.
Luciano (56:29.42)
Yeah, yeah. And very loud.
Matt (56:33.837)
Very loud.
Luciano (56:40.62)
No, no, not at all.
Matt (56:45.229)
Everybody can jerk off, not just the incels. Thank you very much.
Luciano (56:48.236)
Yeah, the insoles just have no other choice.
Matt (56:51.021)
That's safe. Yeah, that's perfect. No, no, we're ending on that note. Next question. We alluded to this earlier. Why can't Johnny tell if people are dead? He does this on many occasions, except oddly enough, when he shoots for Shili's men in the back, he knows they're alive. But everything else, he says, no, he says tie up all these men. So. I mean, maybe.
Chris (56:52.944)
Oh noooo
Thanks.
Luciano (57:12.236)
Does he? I don't know it. Yeah, but that might have been coverup. Like, deacon, deacon, deacon. It was just like, oh shit, I thought I killed him.
Chris (57:12.592)
I did not think that they were alive.
Matt (57:21.069)
That's fair.
Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Cause you just, so yeah.
Chris (57:23.696)
right.
Luciano (57:25.004)
Maybe he's so used to trick shooting that he doesn't know to actually shoot people where it matters. So he just assumes people who shot are dead.
Chris (57:29.2)
Mm -hmm.
Oh my god.
And but fortunately, thanks to mega plot armor, he shot them all in the butt cheeks, for example, and that creates enough time for him to for the movie to rain, to rain skittles and tricks are for kids.
Luciano (57:41.004)
Yeah.
Luciano (57:52.652)
Yeah, he goes like no, no, no, I totally I totally meant not to kill them tied this man up He becomes a sheriff at the end. He has to be a law abiding man now
Chris (57:57.168)
Yeah.
Matt (58:00.415)
Sure.
Chris (58:01.872)
By then, like you just get every like what a what a wonderful love letter to to the Western Genre like the hero or whatever gets minted as the sheriff
Luciano (58:10.092)
I thought you're gonna say what a love letter to the Western police force, but you know, don't have to go there.
Chris (58:16.72)
What? Defund? Defund?
Luciano (58:20.492)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (58:23.341)
Defund the marshals, that's fine.
Luciano (58:24.812)
Yeah, not the Marshall. Yeah, Cove, Marshall Cove.
Chris (58:25.424)
Well, not the good Marshall. I can't even remember his name. Coe, thank you, Marshall Coe. Yeah. Thank you. Well, actually, I can't defund the sheriff's because Sheriff Yarbrough came through in the am. Delayed. You know?
Matt (58:29.389)
Oh.
Matt (58:33.133)
Yeah. Okay, defund the sheriffs then.
Luciano (58:35.756)
Hahaha!
Luciano (58:42.124)
Yeah, well, I mean under duress.
Matt (58:45.069)
Let's talk about Sheriff Yarbrough for a second because I have questions about Sheriff Yarbrough. Primarily, my question really relates to the fact that...
Luciano (58:47.596)
Okay.
Chris (58:48.976)
Hmm.
Matt (58:57.933)
I think he might actually be the real mastermind of this whole operation. And I think that... I think we should explain how, why, pick your verbiage, Sheriff Yarbrough is the real mastermind that saves Hope Springs. Because he doesn't tell anybody he's doing anything, he just fucking shows up and basically unhatches the plan to save the day.
Chris (59:02.736)
Huh. Huh.
Luciano (59:03.308)
Oh?
Chris (59:11.12)
Hmm.
Chris (59:21.232)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (59:22.124)
This is true if it wasn't for him everybody would be fucked you're right Hmm so wait, are you telling me? That this man had the insight to contact the Native Americans in in the town where Johnny was before Hope Springs Because he knew Johnny was gonna be captured and he knew was gonna be hanged
Chris (59:32.688)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (59:51.308)
And then he got them to fight. No, he got them to fight the locals. So Johnny would save them. And then Johnny would think that they were paying him back for saving them. But it was actually, uh, sort of, uh, no, it was sort of a plan that Yarborough hatched so much so that those, those same native Americans show up in Hope Springs later. Right. The Scandinavian Indian shows up there.
Chris (59:54.)
two Indian couples.
Chris (01:00:16.784)
end. Yeah.
Matt (01:00:19.309)
Yep. How do they know to show up unless your bro told them to come? It helps. It helps push Johnny on the run. He misses. Yeah, now you got it. It puts Johnny on the run. He misses Brett Clayton. So it gives them a reason to continue searching, puts them on the run.
Luciano (01:00:23.084)
Wow, I see, I see. So Darth, Darth Yarbrough is what you're saying.
Luciano (01:00:36.396)
Right. And he knew that he would run into Percy, that Percy would be attacked by his other Native American friends who were looking for a husband for the Chieftain's daughter. And she had a thing for a man of God, right? And then, yeah, I didn't want to go there, but sure. And...
Chris (01:00:38.032)
Yeah.
Matt (01:00:52.589)
Right. Yeah.
Chris (01:00:53.232)
Yeah, to plant that seed.
Chris (01:00:58.48)
Black guy.
It's it what's it happens.
Matt (01:01:03.309)
You can say it, that's fine. Chris, Chris can say it, that's fine, not you.
Luciano (01:01:06.092)
And then he knew that he knew Johnny well enough that he would steal the man's life. And he knew that by pretending to be a preacher, he would remember his own father. Wow.
Chris (01:01:07.536)
Ha ha!
Matt (01:01:14.509)
Correct.
Matt (01:01:18.925)
unlock the goodness in them. Yeah.
Chris (01:01:19.184)
Mm -hmm. That's right. Do you see how many levels it took audience to unravel, not even unravel, but to shine and spotlight the magnificence of the goof? That's right. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Luciano (01:01:24.524)
This is
Luciano (01:01:31.532)
And then he plays the lackey sort of oath, spineless sort of oath to Sheely just to make, so he was one of those masterminds who like verbal kint, like verbal kint, right? Yes, no, I'm talking about the character. Yeah.
Matt (01:01:35.405)
Yeah, the oath.
Chris (01:01:46.896)
Plays the fool.
Matt (01:01:48.237)
Yes. Yeah, yeah. We don't want to invoke his other name because that man is dead to us. But the character, yes. 100%. Because, you know, I don't think that he planned everything down to the idea that Johnny will get caught and Sheely will take his guns, but he planted himself there to keep an eye on Sheely to make sure the plans went well. Yes.
Chris (01:01:53.026)
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (01:02:06.124)
Exactly. So he planted himself in the situation so he could like sort of nudge the plan along.
Chris (01:02:11.568)
It's like, some might say, some might call it, people might call it managing up.
Matt (01:02:13.037)
Ensure, ensure the plan. Yeah.
Luciano (01:02:19.692)
Oh yeah. Servant leadership.
Chris (01:02:23.344)
You, one might say, one might say, what is it that you need? No, I cut it off at the knees.
Matt (01:02:25.933)
And then...
Luciano (01:02:29.804)
What happened?
Matt (01:02:29.933)
And the greatest gift of all is once the town is saved and the oil is sold, he doesn't have to do the boring task of being sheriff. He can just be rich and...
Chris (01:02:33.68)
Yes.
Luciano (01:02:37.964)
Yeah, well, because, and here's what I think it boils down to in the end, he was only pretending, he came up and found himself, like he forced himself into the sheriff's position because he needed a reason to be around and then he needs a reason for Shealy to kind of want to talk to him and tell him what he was doing. But actually I think Yarbrough is the true founder of the CIA.
Matt (01:02:58.765)
Yeah, exactly.
Chris (01:03:00.208)
And do it.
Oh. Oh.
Luciano (01:03:05.644)
He's the one that came up with the idea of an intelligence agency for the US.
Chris (01:03:09.456)
which makes so much sense because Yarbrough was the one other witness to the previous mayor's, the previous reverend's death.
Luciano (01:03:21.1)
Do you think he incited Shealy to kill the other reverend?
Chris (01:03:22.928)
and he didn't have evidence.
Well, we said mastermind. We didn't know. We don't know which way the pendulum swings, my good man.
Luciano (01:03:29.708)
I think it swings both ways in true CIA fashion. They'll do whatever needs to be done to get the job done.
Chris (01:03:35.664)
He knew the Reverend knew something. He didn't know what. And in order to draw it out, he hatched a masterful plan.
Luciano (01:03:38.636)
Hmm. Oh, I see.
Matt (01:03:38.783)
you
Luciano (01:03:47.34)
interesting interesting and the real hero both
Matt (01:03:48.621)
the real.
Matt (01:03:52.525)
Great. I'm glad we isolated. No, it's fine. I just want to isolate it. That's great. No, it's, I think.
Chris (01:03:53.488)
You know.
Luciano (01:03:56.428)
Ha ha ha!
Chris (01:03:57.296)
One hand washes the other.
Luciano (01:04:01.996)
Wait, did Yarbrough know that Johnny would like not remember to water his dog? No, not dog, horse. And I know his horse is not a plant, but you know what I mean, give him water. Was like all of that planned? Is that what we're saying?
Matt (01:04:02.125)
different questions.
Matt (01:04:17.133)
No, no, no, wait, no, you're bro poisoned the horse.
Luciano (01:04:22.38)
Oh my God.
Matt (01:04:24.205)
Right? Because the horse didn't want the water and kicked the bucket. The horse knew it was like, this is poison, bruv. Yeah, literally, exactly.
Chris (01:04:29.936)
Yes.
Luciano (01:04:30.796)
The horse literally kicked the bucket is what you're saying. I just thought, I just realized the metaphor just now. Fucking hell. Fucking hell.
Matt (01:04:37.613)
Yeah, there you go. Wow. Yikes. Is that English as a second language challenge there or just?
Chris (01:04:38.192)
Whoa, that's top tier. That's top tier. That's top tier. No.
Luciano (01:04:45.612)
No, I just never, it never couldn't, I can never thought the horse kicked the bucket. Yeah.
Matt (01:04:49.517)
That's fine. I didn't catch on what Flintstone was, so it's, we're all equal in this movie. It's like the joke is so low brow that our brains are just like, what? What's happening? What's going on? I have a different question entirely, so we don't talk about how dumb Luciana and I are. And I want to talk about Brett. We haven't talked that much about Brett.
Chris (01:04:50.8)
It's beautiful.
Luciano (01:04:53.996)
We're all idiots.
Sure.
Chris (01:05:00.656)
Wow, I love it.
Chris (01:05:05.456)
No.
Luciano (01:05:06.06)
Ha ha!
Chris (01:05:10.736)
Oh, the true outlaw evil to the core. Brett Clayton. Brett Clayton. We hating on Brett Clayton. Ghost power.
Luciano (01:05:13.836)
Yeah.
Matt (01:05:14.477)
Was it Brett McConley? Is that right? I don't even remember his name. Hayton. I don't know. It's all white people names.
Luciano (01:05:16.236)
Clayton Clayton Clayton is very very southern name Brad Clayton
Matt (01:05:25.261)
Brett, I wanna know something. What hurt Brett? Why hurt Brett? How hurt Brett? When hurt Brett? Who hurt Brett? Or possibly, where hurt Brett?
Luciano (01:05:27.34)
100 %
Luciano (01:05:32.396)
Hahaha.
Chris (01:05:34.288)
You
Chris (01:05:39.536)
Oh my god!
Luciano (01:05:39.884)
Okay, so let's go in order. Why hurt Brett? What hurt Brett? What hurt Brett penis? Go continue, continue. What's the next one? Because penis hurt in ass. Go continue.
Matt (01:05:41.837)
Okay.
What what her Brett was the first one?
Chris (01:05:48.272)
No!
Matt (01:05:50.477)
Okay, why hurt Brett?
Chris (01:05:51.92)
Okay.
Chris (01:05:55.76)
How?
Matt (01:05:55.949)
Wow. How hurt Brett? You already said penis and ass, okay. When hurt Brett?
Luciano (01:05:59.692)
Yeah, okay. Cover two in one there. When he was a child and his mom died and he only had his dad. And the priest. Listen, he was guilty of bilking the bishop too.
Chris (01:06:03.6)
you
Matt (01:06:07.661)
So I gotta stop you here. You're sed -
Chris (01:06:08.016)
What are you? His father was a priest?
Matt (01:06:13.805)
So, so what on this podcast where we try to use humor to excite our listeners, you are suggesting that a child was raped and that's
Chris (01:06:19.376)
Bye!
Luciano (01:06:27.34)
I didn't say that. I didn't say that.
Chris (01:06:27.76)
I thought he was a - honestly I thought he was a - I uh - his setup made it sound like Rape to the Priest.
Matt (01:06:30.477)
Sorry, you said a child... child's dad.
Luciano (01:06:32.62)
I didn't, I didn't, I did not say it. Fair enough.
Matt (01:06:37.389)
Listen, you can eject anytime here.
Chris (01:06:38.32)
Wait, what? I was gonna say, I thought you were saying the child, wait, why did he have to be a child? Maybe his child observed the father and the priest built him. Sorry.
Matt (01:06:44.653)
Hey, hey Chris, Chris? Oh, you're going with that, sorry. Okay, you know what, you're right, I'm wrong. I mischaracterized this. Sorry Luciano, continue.
Luciano (01:06:46.252)
Yeah.
Chris (01:06:54.32)
I'm just like, think about it. Poor, poor, not even poor, but like, Brett Young and Clayton strangling, wait, let me finish. Wait, let me finish.
Luciano (01:06:56.204)
Okay.
Luciano (01:07:00.748)
Here's what happened. Okay, I'll give you, I was going to do it question by question. No, I'll say what happened. He walked into his parents having anal sex.
Matt (01:07:03.181)
No, no. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
His parent but his mom's dead.
Chris (01:07:12.976)
Yes, you should let me finish. You should let me finish. You should let me finish. Yeah. You should let me finish. Young Greg Clayton trapped in the closet strangling a dog, right? Because he was already, he was already.
Luciano (01:07:13.132)
But Mom died after.
Matt (01:07:16.685)
The anal sex killed her?
Luciano (01:07:17.996)
Yes!
Luciano (01:07:25.868)
Oh my god. Wait, is strangling a dog the same as bilking the bishop?
Matt (01:07:28.045)
Ha ha ha!
Chris (01:07:31.664)
No! He was in there. The dog, the dog meant well, I wanted to give him love, but Brett was rotten to the core. And all of a sudden he is, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. And then he's like, what is that sound? And he winds his way through the, through the biggest, the biggest church chapel that he'd done ever seen. And what did he find as he was peeking through the candles? No. Father, no! No, think about it. Deacon, deacon, deacon, father, father.
Matt (01:07:32.237)
You
Luciano (01:07:52.268)
Bishop.
Luciano (01:07:55.852)
Yeah, the bishop.
Matt (01:07:56.205)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:08:02.7)
No, what? What?
Matt (01:08:05.005)
You went a long way, sir, and I will give you a silver star for that. Well, maybe bronze stars more appropriate.
Luciano (01:08:07.052)
Yeah.
Chris (01:08:09.712)
Yes! E for effort, I'll take it. Oh my god.
Luciano (01:08:13.1)
E for effort?
Matt (01:08:19.053)
That's, uh, you know, I didn't answer my question, but I don't want to continue it. So we're going to move on. Let's talk about the goat that Percy walk road. Percy steals a goat to get to a baby goat to get to hope Springs faster. But as we see Percy, uh, if he sits on the goat, he has to walk himself. And listen, I.
Chris (01:08:23.856)
Oh
Chris (01:08:29.712)
Yes.
Luciano (01:08:33.164)
A tiny, a tiny baby goat looks like.
Luciano (01:08:44.844)
Yes, and he does.
Chris (01:08:45.136)
Yeah.
Matt (01:08:47.693)
I don't care, good for Percy. But what happened to that goat?
Chris (01:08:51.952)
Meh.
Luciano (01:08:52.556)
Hmm. Nice.
Matt (01:08:58.317)
He's here with us today. Goat!
Luciano (01:08:59.468)
Yeah, that's what happened. That's what happened with him. He started a podcast.
Chris (01:09:00.848)
Goat.
Matt (01:09:03.245)
Go... What is bilking the bishop?
Chris (01:09:07.152)
Hmm...
Luciano (01:09:11.692)
Okay, I follow, continue.
Matt (01:09:16.365)
Oh, you can't say that on this podcast, Goat, I'm sorry. Oh, oh, oh, that's fine. That's that's yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, there you have it, folks. That's what happened to the goat. I think that's very clear to me. Oh, yeah. The goat.
Chris (01:09:16.816)
Yeah!
Luciano (01:09:18.956)
Yeah.
Chris (01:09:20.016)
Meh.
Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh
Luciano (01:09:27.948)
Yeah, I think that clarified it.
Chris (01:09:31.856)
Did I miss it?
Luciano (01:09:34.476)
Yeah, I think the ghost took possession of your body to communicate. Yeah.
Chris (01:09:37.584)
My body? No! What?
Matt (01:09:38.765)
Yeah, yeah, the goat is a spirit now that roams the land seeking willing or unwilling hosts.
Chris (01:09:42.256)
So it's dead.
Luciano (01:09:46.156)
Yeah, I mean this was in the Wild West in the 1800s, so it stands to reason he's not with us anymore.
Chris (01:09:54.224)
The goat could still be with us. That's what I'm saying.
Matt (01:09:55.565)
Well, the spirit of the goat is, yes. He was, he was just here. Yeah. I don't know why you're goat friendly. I don't know if you have a sign in the after world or otherwise, but.
Luciano (01:09:56.748)
Definitely. He was mostly with you, but you know...
Luciano (01:10:04.396)
Gold friendly!
Chris (01:10:05.712)
It's my it's my it's my my afterlife companion You know, there you go
Matt (01:10:12.141)
Yes, your patronum, if you will. Moving on.
Luciano (01:10:15.244)
Wait, Chris's patronum is a baby goat? Okay!
Matt (01:10:19.405)
Moving on, how did Johnny's gang form? We see them. They show up. But as we can tell, Johnny has to go with the plans. So how did they become a gang? Strong enough that they came to his aid.
Chris (01:10:19.632)
Hey.
the mentors.
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (01:10:26.86)
Hmm
Yeah.
Chris (01:10:31.312)
Hmm, yes.
Luciano (01:10:33.868)
Uh...
Chris (01:10:36.176)
At the end, think about that.
Luciano (01:10:38.38)
They were all old people.
Matt (01:10:41.677)
So they've been a gag a while.
Luciano (01:10:43.052)
Yeah, that's a 20 year old. He formed this gang when he was like 15.
Chris (01:10:44.4)
Hmmmm
Chris (01:10:49.36)
And they lived. They lived. They lived a rich, rich life. Oh, we're trying, yeah, so, you know, I think it all had to start with a good old fashioned train robbery followed by some skull. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't believe you connected that. That is wrong. I'm so, I'm so.
Luciano (01:10:51.884)
Yeah.
Matt (01:10:53.901)
Stop vamping and start answering the fucking question.
Luciano (01:10:56.428)
We're thinking, fuck you!
Matt (01:11:05.101)
Oh, I thought it was a train bilking, my bad.
Matt (01:11:13.869)
That's what the goat said. That's fine. Don't worry about it. You don't want to know what the goat said.
Chris (01:11:18.192)
I wish I wasn't there.
Luciano (01:11:20.492)
I, but I agree. I think it was a train bilking. I mean train robbery. And I think, I think it was one of those situations where they were all there separately to, to do, to do crime, to do the crimes. And they found themselves rounded up by, by the marshals and they had to
Chris (01:11:27.76)
Oh boy. Oh, this is my robbery.
Matt (01:11:34.605)
you
Matt (01:11:42.015)
you
Chris (01:11:45.904)
They found a kinship a bond
Luciano (01:11:49.516)
collaborate with each other to escape the train, not be arrested and hanged. And they found some, yeah, and they found that they had, you know, complimentary skills. You know, Johnny knows how to shoot, doesn't know how to think. Actually, all of those characters have names, although we don't ever hear those names.
Matt (01:11:54.175)
Yeah, no.
Chris (01:12:00.034)
skills.
Chris (01:12:05.456)
and fight.
Chris (01:12:12.034)
you
Matt (01:12:13.389)
Great. This will connect it for the listeners. Please do.
Luciano (01:12:16.172)
But yeah, I'm looking it up right now.
Chris (01:12:17.232)
You know, Roger Yuan was one of the gang.
Luciano (01:12:24.46)
Dutch, who's Michael Madsen, I think he's the leader of this gang. And I think he's the one that noticed that they all work well together. And he was already advanced in age. If this movie is anything to go by, he looks like he's like 80. I don't know. Michael Madsen is not, but the character looked like he was. And then they had to kind of, it was kind of like...
Matt (01:12:26.925)
Right, that makes sense.
Matt (01:12:45.229)
Thank you.
Luciano (01:12:54.38)
Orient Express except with no Mata Hari. So not as fun. And they were there. They were all there to rob this train. Some of them wanted to rob some of the passengers. Some of them wanted to kind of hijack the train and and steal the cargo. Others were just there for I guess we have, you know, quite shun came there. Maybe he was there in a in a spiritual journey.
Chris (01:12:58.352)
Hmm.
Matt (01:12:58.829)
Okay.
Chris (01:13:12.13)
Endly, endly.
Matt (01:13:20.525)
Hey Luciano.
question here. You already said they got caught and they hung out together in a jail cell.
Luciano (01:13:24.364)
Sure. Yeah, I'm doing the prequel.
Chris (01:13:30.146)
Yeah, you wanted to know.
Matt (01:13:32.845)
I don't care. I just want to ask how they formed. You're like, oh, they got caught in a train robbery and they hung on the jail together. Oh, man. No, that sounds that sounds boring.
Luciano (01:13:33.708)
Okay fine. Yeah I was gonna go into like their past and how they got their names like none of their names are actually their names and but you don't want to hear that that's fine. Your loss. Fair enough.
Chris (01:13:39.664)
Brought to you in IMAX.
Chris (01:13:47.088)
That's why we call them Dutch and Lee. Really? I feel like there's, we don't have to continue it, but there's a gem in there.
Matt (01:13:57.933)
You guys wouldn't let me talk about Puppey or the penis. I'm not gonna talk about some train hike.
Chris (01:14:03.408)
God damn you really you really hard up for that puppeteering penis You could end it and that and the train heist with an ad for puppeteering of the penis
Luciano (01:14:04.108)
Why not? Training highs are fun.
Matt (01:14:07.085)
No, we don't have time. It's fine. It's fine. The next train heist.
Luciano (01:14:08.492)
I can end the train heist with a bilking if you want.
Luciano (01:14:15.18)
All right. Fair enough. I'll tell you offline.
Chris (01:14:22.48)
Whoa, wait, wait, what? What will you do? No, it was dang puppeteer. Yeah, did he need that? But he took it. Oh.
Luciano (01:14:27.788)
bilking. This is very
Matt (01:14:27.821)
Puck the bishop, I thought this was clear to you. Hey, why did Reverend Fairman steal the eagle suit when he escaped? I mean, technically it helped him not fall completely straight down into the lake. I don't know. I think it was early morning.
Luciano (01:14:37.132)
Oh good question.
Chris (01:14:47.792)
He escaped? It was night time or early morning? So then it might have still been cold, but like, I don't know why he couldn't have kept his blanket, but I guess he wanted to put some like real mileage on between that himself and the camp.
Luciano (01:14:48.652)
Early morning, I think because he's
Matt (01:15:03.661)
faster with an eagle suit on.
Chris (01:15:05.136)
And he's not freezing because the sun's not up because this year with the feathers
Luciano (01:15:05.516)
It's aerodynamic.
Matt (01:15:07.853)
I mean it is it is a an eagle. Oh, yeah, just get the wings
Fly, you go fly.
Chris (01:15:16.496)
you know, kaka! That's more Chrome.
Luciano (01:15:19.148)
I think he was just racist and he thought that if he dressed like an animal, like a bird, the other Native Americans would think he was one of them and wouldn't bother him.
Chris (01:15:33.392)
Oh my god. I can't.
Luciano (01:15:36.588)
racist. Doesn't even
Matt (01:15:37.869)
This answer has been brought to you by racist Luciano who believes the Atlanta Braves should never change their name.
Luciano (01:15:42.412)
racist the first the first the first sentence that every racist is I'm not racist but
Chris (01:15:51.536)
Oh my god! This segment brought to you by Ghost Power. It's the arm deodorant that leaves a chalky residue because you shouldn't be standing in the white man's lair.
Matt (01:16:07.117)
Wow. The only way to steer away from that is to ask how did Shealy aka McShealy, as some of us as
Luciano (01:16:08.414)
You
Chris (01:16:18.896)
Oh, McSheely, yeah, I know who you're talking about.
Luciano (01:16:21.196)
Some of us call them coquettly.
Matt (01:16:22.061)
Get his money Go get Lee. I just want to make sure Chris understands that Shealy is the white man who is trying to buy slash level of the town You call him McShealy so yeah, how do you get his money cuz you know, he's clearly he's rich He just doesn't want to pay for the town, right? But he clearly has money. He's a big house, you know, blah blah blah But how do you get that money cuz I don't explain that?
Chris (01:16:33.744)
Yes.
Luciano (01:16:34.892)
and then you come by his...
Mmm.
Chris (01:16:46.256)
It's a it's a fortune of of finite means so in his quest for in his quest for more and to create a true foothold because notice He has no heir to his his burgeoning empire, which is why he was like unfortunately sexually harassing harassing and threatening rape to Jesse and it's like if you strip you bear and data that
Matt (01:16:53.325)
Sure.
you
you
Chris (01:17:16.144)
He has no heir. And so his finite fortune is not enough for him to complete the twilight phase of his years.
Matt (01:17:25.421)
Hey, hey, hey.
Luciano (01:17:25.452)
Do you notice how you asked how he came by his money and Chris is answering why does he need more money?
Matt (01:17:31.949)
Yeah, I was gonna check in there. Hey bud, how did you get that fine amount of money you talked about there?
Chris (01:17:38.768)
I know.
Luciano (01:17:39.532)
Fuck your question, I'm gonna answer my question.
Matt (01:17:42.541)
I'm sorry, I know is your answer, it's fine. If you know, you don't want to tell us, that's cool.
Chris (01:17:42.69)
Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. He got it. He got it. And then he spent it. So much of it. I know this was deliberate.
Luciano (01:17:52.062)
That's still not how
Matt (01:17:53.421)
There.
Matt (01:17:58.509)
Think! Hear me out. He has no idea. Listen, why don't you take a stab at this?
Luciano (01:18:01.548)
Yeah, sounds like it. I think he came by his money because he needed that money. No, I'm kidding.
Chris (01:18:07.6)
That was.
Luciano (01:18:15.052)
I think he came by his money because he was very good at blackjack and then he won a lot at a casino and but he was also a sore loser so when he lost all of his money that he won because the casino was cheating and they
Chris (01:18:18.754)
Hmm.
Matt (01:18:19.725)
Okay.
Chris (01:18:27.568)
Oh.
Chris (01:18:31.888)
Hmm.
Chris (01:18:36.77)
Dang
Luciano (01:18:42.668)
to force him to bilk the bishop to pay his bills. He decided that he was not going to be an honest blackjack casino goer anymore. He was going to become a criminal. And so he still bilked the bishop because you know, little pleasure never hurt anybody. But then he killed everybody and stole the money from the casino and left. All on his own. All on his own.
Matt (01:18:52.429)
hell no
Chris (01:19:00.048)
Damn! Needs.
Matt (01:19:09.343)
So if I could narrow that, if I could narrow it down, he jerked it off a ton and then killed a bunch of people and stole their money.
Chris (01:19:12.08)
you.
Luciano (01:19:14.412)
Yes, wild jerking off.
Chris (01:19:16.688)
you
Luciano (01:19:20.94)
They call him, now he's known as Tom Schiele, but his name back then was One -Eyed Really.
Matt (01:19:23.949)
Right.
Chris (01:19:29.616)
Oh, I thought you were going to say Mick Shealy.
Matt (01:19:29.741)
Yep, you had it. The plane was coming down nicely and then the wheels just blew off.
Chris (01:19:33.52)
But then you lost it. You hit some turbulence. You hit some turbulence just before you touched the tarmac. And you decided to see how quickly you could down a fifth of Jack while one -handing the plane, thinking, I got this.
Luciano (01:19:35.98)
No. Why? Why would? No! Listen. Listen. It kinda... It kinda has to make a little bit of sense.
I realize.
Matt (01:19:53.325)
and you spilled it into your lap and got all over the instruments.
Luciano (01:19:53.356)
No, that's not what I was doing with my other hand. That's.
Chris (01:19:58.192)
And your co -pilot was trying to execute everything they knew to help save you through the magic of puppetry of the penis. But then the steering wheel still, once again, you couldn't cry out of grasp because your head was all jelly like with Vaseline.
Luciano (01:20:04.556)
Listen.
Luciano (01:20:09.068)
Listen, I know all of my answers are juxtaposed against crisis, so I get why you would expect me to not make sense, but I feel the need to make a little bit of sense. It's a flaw in character that I have.
Chris (01:20:24.368)
you
Matt (01:20:25.805)
Sure is Listen I could answer this but it feels better to just not and then I will be ridiculed So I'm not going to I'm gonna move on. I have one more question for everybody here Spoiler it's what's your rating for this movie. You see what I did there very very tricky segue
Chris (01:20:26.928)
Everybody needs love, Bishop.
Chris (01:20:34.832)
Oh, I wasn't expecting. I thought we were this this fireside chat was popping popcorn.
Luciano (01:20:38.988)
Okay.
Luciano (01:20:43.148)
Oh, well I didn't expect that one.
Matt (01:20:48.877)
It is poppin'.
If you say popcorn, there's no subtle joke. You're just yelling the joke at people.
Luciano (01:20:55.724)
Yeah, it's not, it's not, it's just a word at that point.
Chris (01:20:56.56)
That's it. It's popping popcorn.
Matt (01:20:59.821)
This chat's popping popcorn! Yeah. Yeah. We do a rating system on the show. It's the S tier rating system. We invented it and we perfected it. Top level S, bottom level F. Other letters in the middle. Chris, I'm going to come to you second because I don't trust you. Luciano.
Luciano (01:21:01.42)
pew pew pew pew pew pew. You squawked it though. I like that.
Chris (01:21:03.056)
You're right. I could have I could have throttled up on that.
You're right.
Chris (01:21:22.928)
Hm. Hm. Hm.
Luciano (01:21:25.342)
So I really enjoyed this movie. It was fun. It felt like, unlike many of the movies we've been watching lately, it understood the assignment and it colored within the lines and it went outside of the lines in a program moment.
Matt (01:21:31.661)
What is your rating?
Chris (01:21:39.792)
Yeah.
Matt (01:21:46.861)
you
Luciano (01:21:51.692)
It was funny, it was entertaining, the action scenes were suitably dumb. The acting was non -existent as it shouldn't have been. That it should have been? That it should have been. And one of the main things for me in ratings is would I watch this again? And I would, just for the fun of it, just for the little scenes, which is rare nowadays in movies where you're like, I'm just going to rewatch this movie for those two scenes. It doesn't happen anymore.
Chris (01:22:00.24)
Yeah.
Chris (01:22:04.272)
as it was.
Chris (01:22:12.912)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (01:22:21.612)
And I also want to watch try to find more of those like freeze frame bonus situations. So with all of that, like you said, Matt, in the beginning, it's not a perfect movie by any means, but it's still a lot of fun and it has real watchability. So I think it's a solid B for me. Solid B. Almost an A, but needed a little bit more meat in the bones to be a full A. B. Solid B.
Matt (01:22:22.815)
you
Chris (01:22:25.154)
you
Chris (01:22:49.264)
Mm.
Matt (01:22:53.165)
All right, Chris.
Chris (01:22:54.128)
Why do you have to breathe like that before you -
Luciano (01:22:55.852)
This is brace. He's bracing himself.
Matt (01:22:58.221)
Sometimes I need more oxygen in my body than a small breath will allow, so I took a big one. There was too much carbon dioxide in my system to get enough oxygen in, so I had to get it all out.
Chris (01:23:02.416)
I don't know. That seems, you don't usually... No, I don't want that science answer. I don't want that education answer. No, sir. That sounded like you were bracing yourself for something that was coming that you know you don't want, but it's coming in anyway like a freight train. Surprise, it's actually a truck. So my rating on this movie is powered and brought to you by the power of the mathematical equation decan, decan, decan.
Matt (01:23:27.821)
you
Chris (01:23:31.632)
So if we break that down phonetically and look within the polynomials that live within, it's an A. It's an A. And the best part of that is that's an organic A, because the more I watch this movie, it will evolve into whatever.
Luciano (01:23:42.924)
You know what's sad?
Matt (01:23:52.173)
to free range or tease and all.
Chris (01:23:53.936)
A free range, a free range A that will one day become like my scrambled eggs and toast on my plate with some buttermilk biscuits. You know, that'll be an S.
Luciano (01:23:55.884)
grass -fed. Yeah. Interesting.
Matt (01:23:57.165)
RiceFed. Ay.
Luciano (01:24:04.076)
The sad part about this is that his reasoning for this A makes about as much sense as every other rating he's ever given. So I'll allow it.
Matt (01:24:08.461)
you
Chris (01:24:16.144)
That's happy.
Matt (01:24:16.205)
I mean, that's not sad, that's on par. It's called consistency, it's a system he's employing. Probably, I don't know.
Luciano (01:24:20.972)
Probably. Probably.
Chris (01:24:24.656)
I don't understand it. It's like the universe. It pulls me through like the way like the guiding wind.
Matt (01:24:30.029)
Yeah, it's not worth going into. I would say I was waffling on this one between B and C. I'd found the movie. I don't know if I would watch it. Maybe I would watch it again. I think I'm going to go C. No, I'm going to go B. Because I really enjoyed the fact that it was a fun movie and the premise was simple.
Chris (01:24:46.032)
I think you will.
Hmm.
Matt (01:24:58.125)
It didn't take itself too seriously. It didn't drag the story along in drama and intrigue and try to make it have complex layers. It just, you know, it hit every trope in the book and it did it with intention to make fun of those tropes. And it was fun. It was, it was fun. Once you understood what it was doing, I had a really good time. So I would say it's a B for me. Like there are, you know, like Luciano said, there's a couple of things that are kind of like, ah, it kind of sucks or that's, some of you could probably act better, but in general it's a...
Chris (01:25:25.264)
I'm gonna...
Luciano (01:25:26.86)
Maybe you could not phone it in everything. Yeah.
Matt (01:25:29.965)
Yeah, but you know, like everyone's having a good time with it, right? So that's the key. Everyone knows the joke and they're in on the joke. So I had a fun time with it.
Chris (01:25:35.888)
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (01:25:41.136)
beautiful. That's what it does. That's what cult movies do.
Matt (01:25:41.453)
Well, here they are. So next, we are going to watch The Beekeeper. It is the Jason Statham vehicle. There's no one else driving it. It is in theaters, but it's also available on streaming. I think you have to pay for it. So maybe watch it in theaters. I don't know, but it's on streaming.
Luciano (01:25:48.876)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:25:53.68)
Hey! It's the fucking man who let John.
Luciano (01:25:54.572)
Oh, speaking of state...
Chris (01:26:04.4)
Hmm cool, I'm excited. I saw this room
Matt (01:26:11.181)
Back to the action format. Do we ever leave action? Who knows? But yeah, next week, the beekeeper.
Chris (01:26:18.544)
Hmm... Tune in.
Luciano (01:26:22.028)
Yeah, so the thing with the train heist is, so they were all there to do a really interesting and intricate heist on that train. But then Dutch, whose actual name is Michael, he went there because he wanted to save money to save his wife. His wife was a German.
Chris (01:26:27.344)
Let him cook. Let him cook.
Chris (01:26:35.856)
Oh -hoh! Oh my... Oh my...