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Part 1 of 2: A special delivery of Paine! In honor of America's 250th birthday, we are celebrating with the forgotten founding father, Thomas Paine. Common Sense is the foundational text of the American Revolution. Changing the perception of early Americans about the cause of fighting against the British Empire from a lack of representation to the cause of America as an asylum for mankind. Where all are welcome and accepted. This is the first half of Paine's "Common Sense."
Creators and Guests
Host
Rosie Tran
Rosie Tran is one of the fastest rising stars in the entertainment business! Originally from New Orleans, Louisiana, she moved to Hollywood to pursue her career as a professional entertainer. The stand up comedian, writer, podcast personality, and actress has toured internationally, at comedy clubs, colleges, and overseas for the USO in Europe and the Middle East.
Editor
Andrew
I am the Editor of all things on the Stupid Sexy Privacy Podcast.
What is Stupid Sexy Privacy?
Stupid Sexy Privacy is a miniseries about how to protect yourself from fascists and weirdos. Your host is comedian Rosie Tran, and the show is written by information privacy expert B.J. Mendelson. Every episode is sponsored by our friends at DuckDuckGo. Tune in every Thursday night —or Friday morning if you're nasty — at 12 am EST to catch the next episode.
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Here's three reasons why you should switch from Chrome to the free DuckDuckGo browser. One, it's designed for data protection, not data collection. If you use Google Search or Chrome, your personal info is probably exposed. Your searches, email, location, even financial or medical data. The list goes on and on. The free DuckDuckGo browser helps you protect your personal info from hackers, scammers, and data-hungry companies. Two, the built-in search engine is like Google.
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but it never tracks your searches. And it has ad tracker and cookie blocking protection. Search and browse with ease with fewer annoying ads and pop-ups. Three, the DuckDuckGo browser is free. We make money from privacy respecting ads, not by exploiting your data. Download the free DuckDuckGo browser today and see for yourself why it has thousands of five-star reviews. Visit DuckDuckGo.com or wherever you get your apps.
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Welcome to another edition of Stupid Sexy Privacy, a podcast mini series sponsored by our friends at DuckDuckGo. I'm your host, Rosie Tran. You may have seen me on Rosie Tran Presents, which is now available on Amazon Prime. And I'm your co-producer, Andrew VanVoorst. With us, as always, is Bonzo the Snow Monkey. I'm pretty sure that's not what a Japanese Macau sounds like. Oh, it's not. Not even close.
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Let's hope there aren't any zoologists listening. Okay, I'm also pretty sure that's not what a snow monkey sounds like. Over the course of this mini-series, we're going to offer you short, actionable tips to protect your data, your privacy, and yourself from fascists and weirdos.
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These tips were sourced by our fearless leader. He really hates when we call him that. DJ Mendelson. Episodes 1 through 33 were written a couple of years ago. But since a lot of that advice is still relevant, we thought it would be worth sharing again for those who missed it. And if you have heard these episodes before, you should know we've gone back and updated a bunch of them, even adding some brand new interviews and privacy tips along the way. That's right. So before we get into today's episode, make sure you visit StupidSexyPrivacy.com.
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and subscribe to our newsletter. This way you can get updates on the show and be the first to know when new episodes are released in 2026. And if you sign up for the newsletter, you'll also get a free PDF and mp3 copy of BJ and Amanda King's new book, How to Protect Yourself from Bashes and Weirdos. All you have to do is visit StupidSexyPrivacy.com. StupidSexyPrivacy.com. That's what I just said. StupidSexyPrivacy.com.
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I know, but repetition is key to success. You know what else is? What? Oh, Bonzo. Eat your pabling like a good boy, and pretty soon you'll grow up to be a big, strong, handsome man just like your daddy. Then you'll have Swedish pancake, too. I'm really glad this show isn't on YouTube because they pull it down, like, immediately. I know. Google sucks. And on that note, let's get to today's privacy tip.
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Thomas Paine is a hero, the kind every American should learn about. He was an immigrant. He came to America from England, like the way anyone comes to this country now, looking for a fresh start. And he was so in love with the promise of America that he went on to write a book that would spread like equivalent of a global bestseller today. That book, Common Sense, which was published anonymously. Paine did this because had the aristocrats of early America knew an immigrant wrote it?
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The book may not have been given another thought. But they did read it, and common sense reframed the way young America thought about itself and its cause for independence. No longer was there a revolution about the lack of representation in British Parliament. Now it was about creating what Paine himself called an asylum for mankind. A nation where anyone, from any corner of the earth, could come and be free. That was the cause of America in 1776. And that must be the cause of America in 2026 and beyond.
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So, in honor of America's 250th birthday, this week and next, we're going to share with you the entirety of Thomas Paine's classic, Common Sense. Let's begin with the first half of the book, and next week we'll bring you the rest. Common Sense, Introduction and Preface. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Common Sense by Thomas Paine. Introduction and Preface.
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Introduction. Perhaps the sentiments contained in the following pages are not yet sufficiently fashionable to procure them general favor. A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason, as a long and violent abuse of power is generally the means of calling the right of it in question, and in matters to which might never have been thought of.
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had not the sufferers been aggravated into the inquiry. And as the King of England hath undertaken in his own right to support the Parliament in what he calls theirs, and as the good people of this country are grievously oppressed by the combination, they have an undoubted privilege to inquire into the pretensions of both, and equally to reject the usurpations of either. In the following sheets the author hath studiously avoided everything which is personal among ourselves, compliments as well as censure to individuals
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make no part thereof. The wise and the worthy need not the triumph of a pamphlet, and those whose sentiments are injudicious or unfriendly will cease of themselves unless too much pains are bestowed upon their conversion. The cause of America is in a great measure the cause of all mankind. Many circumstances have and will arise which are not local but universal, and through which the principles of all lovers of mankind are affected, and in the event of which their affections are interested.
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Delaying of a country, desolate with fire and sword, declaring war against the natural rights of all mankind, and extirpating the defenders thereof from the face of the earth, is the concern of every man, to whom nature hath given the power of feeling, of which class, regardless of party censure, is the author. Postscript to the preface in the third edition. P.S. The publication of this new edition hath been delayed, with a view of taking notice, had it been necessary.
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of any attempt to refute the doctrine of independence. As no answer hath yet appeared, it is now presumed that none will. The time needful for getting such a performance ready for the public being considerably passed. Who the author of this presentation is, is wholly unnecessary to the public, as the object for attention is the doctrine itself, not the man. Yet it may not be unnecessary to say that he is unconnected with any party, and under no sort of influence, public or private, but the influence of reason and principle. Philadelphia, February 14th,
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CHAPTER I. Of the Origin and Design of Government in General, with Concise Remarks on the English Constitution. Some writers have so confounded society with government as to leave little or no distinction between them.
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Whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by wickedness. The former promotes our happiness positively, by uniting our affections. The latter negatively, by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher. Society in every state is a blessing, but government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil. In its worst state, an intolerable one.
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For when we suffer, or are exposed to the same miseries, by a government, which we might expect in a country without government, our calamity is heightened by reflecting that we furnish the means by which we suffer. Government, like dress, is the badge of lost innocence. The palaces of kings are built on the ruins of the bowers of Paradise. But where the impulses of conscience clear, uniform, and irresistibly obeyed, man would need no other lawgiver, but that, not being the case, he finds it necessary to surrender up.
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a part of his property, to furnish means for the protection of the rest. And this he is induced to do by the same prudence which in every other case advises him out of two evils to choose the least. Wherefore, security being the true design and end of government, it unanswerably follows that whatever form thereof appears most likely to insure it to us, with the least expense and greatest benefit, is preferable to all others. In order to gain a clear and just idea of the design and end of government, let us suppose a small number of persons
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settled in some sequestered part of the earth, unconnected with the rest, they will then represent the first peopling of any country or of the world. In the state of natural liberty, society will be their first thought. A thousand motives will excite them hitherto. The strength of one man is so unequal to his wants, and his mind so unfitted for perpetual solitude, that he is soon obliged to seek assistance and relief of another, who in his turn requires the same. Four or five united would be able to raise a tolerable dwelling in the midst
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of a wilderness, but one man might labor out of the common period of his life, without accomplishing anything, when he had felled his timber he could not remove it, nor erect it after it was removed. Hunger in the meantime would urge him from his work, and every different want call him a different way. Disease, nay, even misfortune, would be death, for though neither might be mortal, yet either would disable him from living, and reduce him to a state in which he might rather be said to perish than to die. This necessity
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like a gravitating power, would soon form our newly arrived immigrants into society, the reciprocal blessing of which would supersede and render the obligations of law and government unnecessary, while they remained perfectly just to each other. But as nothing but heaven is impregnable to vice, it will unavoidably happen that in proportion as they surmount the first difficulties of emigration, which bound them together in a common cause, they will begin to relax in their duty and attachment to each other. And this remissness
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will point out the necessity of establishing some form of government to supply the defective moral virtue. Some convenient tree will afford them a state house, under the branches of which the whole colony may assemble to deliberate on public matters. It is more than probable that their first laws will have the title only of regulations and be enforced by no other penalty than public disesteem. In this first parliament, every man by natural right will have a seat. But as the colony increases, the public concerns will increase likewise.
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and the distance at which the members may be separated, will render it too inconvenient for all of them to meet on every occasion as at first, when their number was small, their habituations near, and the public concerns few and trifling. This will point out their convenience of their consenting to leave the legislative part to be managed by a select number chosen from the whole body, who are supposed to have the same concerns at stake which those have who appointed them and who will act in the same manner as the whole body would act were they present.
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If the colony continues increasing, it will become necessary to augment the number of the representatives and that the interest of every part of the colony may be attended to. It will be found best to divide the whole into convenient parts, each part sending its proper number, and that the elected might never form to themselves an interest separate from the electors. Prudence will point out the propriety of having elections often, because as the elected might by that means return and mix again with the general body of the electors in a few months.
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Their fidelity to the public will be secured by the prudent reflections of not making a rod for themselves. And as this frequent interchange will establish a common interest with every part of the community, they will mutually and naturally support each other. And on this, not on the unmeaning name of King, depends the strength of government and the happiness of the governed. Here, then, is the origin and rise of government, namely, a mode rendered necessary by the inability of moral virtue to govern the world.
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Here, is the design and end of government. These, freedom and security, and however our eyes may be dazzled with snow, or our ears deceived by sound, however prejudice may warp our wills, or interest darken our understanding, the simple voice of nature and of reason will say, It is right. I draw my idea to the form of government from a principle in nature which no art can overturn. These, that the more simple anything is, the less liable it is to be disordered, and the easier repaired when disordered.
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And with this maximan view, I offer a few remarks on the so much-boasted Constitution of England, that it was noble for the mark and slavish times in which it was erected, is granted. When the world was overrun with tyranny, the least removed therefrom was a glorious rescue. But that it is imperfect, subject to convulsions and incapable of producing what it seems to promise, is easily demonstrated. Absolute governments, through the disgrace of human nature, have this advantage with them, that they are simple. If the people suffer,
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They know the head from which their suffering springs, know likewise the remedy, and are not bewildered by a variety of causes and cures. But the Constitution of England is so exceedingly complex that the nation may suffer for years together without being able to discover in which part the fault lies. Some will say in one and some in another, and every political physician will advise a different medicine. I know it is difficult to get over local or long-standing prejudices, yet if we will suffer ourselves to examine the component parts of the English Constitution, we shall find them to be
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the base remains of two ancient tyrannies, compounded with some new republican materials. First, the remains of monarchal tyranny in the person of the king. Secondly, the remains of aristocratic tyranny in the persons of the peers. Thirdly, the new republican materials in the persons of the commons, on whose virtue depends the freedom of England. The two first, by being hereditary, are independent of the people, and therefore, in a constitutional sense, they contribute nothing towards the freedom of the state.
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To say that the Constitution of England is a union of three powers, reciprocally checking each other, is farcical. Either the words have no meaning, or they are flat contradictions. To say that the Commons is a check upon the King, presupposes two things. First, that the King is not to be trusted without being looked after. Or, in other words, that a thirst for absolute power is the natural disease of monarchy. Secondly, that the Commons, by being appointed for that purpose, are either wiser or more worthy of confidence than the Crown.
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But as the same Constitution which gives the Commons a power to check the King by withholding the supplies, gives afterwards the King a power to check the Commons by empowering him to reject their other bills, it again supposes that the King is wiser than those whom it has already supposed to be wiser than him. A mere absurdity. There is something exceedingly ridiculous in the composition of monarchy. It first excludes a man from the means of information, yet empowers him to act in cases where the highest judgment is required. The state of a King shuts him from the world.
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yet the business of a king requires him to know it thoroughly. Wherefore, the different parts, by unnaturally opposing and destroying each other, prove the whole character to be absurd and useless. Some writers have explained the English Constitution thus, The King, say, is one, the people another. The peers are at house in behalf of the King, the commons in behalf of the people. But this hath all the distinctions of a house divided against itself. And though the expressions be pleasantly arranged, yet when examined they appear idle and ambiguous. And it will always happen that the nicest construction
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that words are capable of, when applied to the description of something which either cannot exist or is too incomprehensible to be within the compass of description, will be words of sound only. And though they may amuse the ear, they cannot inform the mind. For this explanation includes a previous question, these, How came the king by a power which the people are afraid to trust, and always obliged to check? Such a power could not be the gift of a wise people. Neither can any power which needs checking be from God.
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Yet the provision which the Constitution makes, supposes such a power to exist. But the provision is unequal to the task. The means either cannot or will not accomplish the end. And the whole affair is a filo di se. The wheels of a machine are put in motion by one. It only remains to know which power in the Constitution has the most weight, for that will govern. And though the others, or a part of them, may clog, or as the phrase is, check the rapidity of its motion, yet so long as they cannot stop it, their endeavors will be ineffectual.
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The first moving power will at last have its way, and what it wants in speed is supplied by time. That the Crown is this overbearing part in the English Constitution needs not be mentioned, and that it derives its whole consequence merely from being the giver of places and pensions is self-evident. Wherefore, though we have been wise enough to shut and lock a door against absolute monarchy, we at the same time have been foolish enough to put the Crown in possession of the key. The prejudice of Englishmen in favor of their own government by King
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lords, and commons, arises as much or more from national pride than reason. Individuals are undoubtedly safer in England than in some other countries, but the will of the King is as much the law of the land in Britain as in France, with this difference, that instead of proceeding directly from his mouth, it is handed to the people under the more formidable shape of an act of Parliament. For the fate of Charles I hath only made kings more subtle, not more just. Wherefore, lying aside all national pride and prejudice in favor of modes and forms,
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The plain truth is that it is wholly owing to the Constitution of the people and not to the Constitution of the government that the Crown is not as oppressive in England as it is in Turkey. An inquiry into the constitutional errors in the English form of government is at this time highly necessary. For as we are never in a proper condition of doing justice to others, while we continue under the influence of some leading partiality, so neither are we capable of doing it to ourselves while we remain fettered by any obstinate prejudice. And as a man,
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who is attached to a prostitute is unfitted to choose or judge of a wife. So any prepossession in favor of a rotten constitution of government will disable us from discerning a good one. End of chapter 1.
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Hey everyone, this is Amanda King, one of the co-hosts of Stupid Sexy Privacy. These days I spend most of my time talking to businesses and clients about search engine optimization, but...
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That's not what this is about. I wanted to tell you a little bit about a book I've co-authored with BJ Mendelsohn called How to Protect Yourself from Fascists and Weirdos. And the title tells you pretty much everything you would want to know about what's in the book. And thanks to our friends at DuckDuckGo, we'll actually be able to give you this book for free in 2026.
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All you need to do is go to the website stupidsexyprivacy.com and sign up to our newsletter. Again, that website is stupidsexyprivacy.com and then put your name in the box and sign up for our newsletter. We'll let you know when the book and the audiobook is ready because if you want a PDF copy that's DRM free, it's yours. And if you want an MP3 of the new audiobook, also DRM free, you can get that.
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to. Now I gotta get out of here before Bonzo corners me because uh he doesn't think that SEO is real and I don't have the patience to argue with him because I got a book to finish.
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Common Sense, Chapter 2. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Common Sense by Thomas Paine. Chapter 2. Of Monarchy and Hereditary Succession. Mankind being originally equals in the order of creation, the equality could only be destroyed by some subsequent circumstance. The distinction of rich and poor may in a great measure be accounted for, and without having recourse,
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to the harsh, ill-sounding names of oppression and avarience. Oppression is often the consequence, but seldom or never the means of riches. And though avarice will preserve a man from being necessitously poor, it generally makes him too timorous to be wealthy. But there is another and greater distinction for which no truly natural or religious reason can be assigned, and that is the distinction of men into kings and subjects. Male and female are the distinction of nature, good and bad the distinction of heaven.
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but how a race of men came into the world so exalted above the rest and distinguished like some new species is worth inquiring into, and whether they are the means of happiness or of misery to mankind. In the early ages of the world, according to the scripture chronology, there were no kings, the consequence of which was there were no wars. It is the pride of kings which throw mankind into confusion. Holland without a king hath enjoyed more peace for this last century than any of the monarchal governments in Europe." Antiquity favors the same remark.
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For the quiet and rural lives of the first patriarchs hath a happy something in them which vanishes away when we come to the history of the Jewish royalty. Government by kings was first introduced into the world by the heathens, from whom the children of Israel copied the custom. It was the most prosperous invention the devil ever set on foot for the promotion of idolatry. The heathens paid divine honors to their deceased kings, and the Christian world hath improved upon the plan by doing the same to their living ones.
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How impious is the title of sacred majesty applied to a worm, who in the midst of his splendor is crumbling into dust. As the exalting one man so greatly above the rest cannot be justified on the equal rights of nature, so neither can it be defended on the authority of Scripture. For the will of the Almighty, as declared by Gideon and the prophet Samuel, expressly disapproves of government by kings. All anti-monarchal parts of Scripture have been smoothly glossed over in monarchal governments, but they undoubtedly merit the attention of countries which
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have their governments yet to form. Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's is the Scripture doctrine of courts, yet it is no support of a monarchical government for the Jews that at that time were without a king, and in a state of vassalage to the Romans. Near three thousand years passed away from the mosaic account of the creation till the Jews under a national delusion requested a king. Till then their form of government, except in extraordinary cases where the Almighty interposed, was a kind of republic administered by a judge
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and the elders of the tribes. Kings they had none, and it was held sinful to acknowledge any being under that title but the Lord of hosts. And when a man seriously reflects on the idolatrous homage which is paid to the persons of kings, he need not wonder that the Almighty, ever jealous of His honor, should disapprove of a form of government which so impiously invades the prerogative of heaven. Monarchy is ranked in Scripture as one of the sins of the Jews, for such a curse in reserve is denounced against them.
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The history of that transaction is worth attending to. The children of Israel being oppressed by the Midiites, Gideon marched against them with a small army and victory, though the Divine Interposed decided in his favor. The Jews, elate with success and attributing it to the generalship of Gideon, proposed making him a king, saying, Rule thou over us, thou and thy son, and thy son's son. Here was temptation in its fullest extent, not a kingdom only, but a hereditary one. But Gideon, in the piety of his soul, replied,
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I will not rule over you, neither shall my son rule over you. The Lord shall rule over you." Words need not be more explicit. Gideon doth not decline the honor, but denieth their right to give it. Neither doth he compliment them in inventing declarations of his thanks, but in the positive style of a prophet, charges them with disaffection to their proper sovereign, the King of Heavens. About 130 years after this, they fell again into the same error. The hankering which the Jews had for the idolatrous custom of the heathens
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is something exceedingly unaccountable. But so it was, that laying hold of the misconduct of Samuel's two sons, who were entrusted with some secular concerns, they came in an abrupt and clamorous manner to Samuel, saying, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the other nations. And here we cannot but observe that their motives were bad, these that they might be like unto other nations, in other words, the heavens, whereas their true glory lay
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in being as much unlike them as possible. But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto the Lord, and the Lord said unto Samuel, hearken to the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee. For they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them according to all the works which they have done since the day that I brought them up out of Egypt, even into this day, whereon they have forsaken me and served other gods. So do they also unto thee,
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Now therefore hearken unto their voice, how beth protest solemnly unto them, and show them the manner of the kings that shall reign over them. In other words, not of any particular king, but the general manner of the kings of the earth, whom Israel was so eagerly copying after. And notwithstanding the great distance of time and difference of manners, the character is still in fashion. And Samuel told all the words of the Lord unto the people, that asked of him a king. And he said, This shall be the manner of the king, thou shalt reign over you.
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He will take your sons and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen. And some shall run before his chariots. This description agrees with the present mode of impressing men. And he will appoint him captains over thousands and captains over fifties, and will set them to ear his ground, and to read his harvest, and to make his instruments of war, and instruments of his chariots. And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers. This describes the expense and luxury as well as the oppression of kings.
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And he will take your fields and your olive yards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants. And he will take the tenth of your feed and of your vineyards, and give them to his officers and to his servants. By which we see that bribery, corruption, and favoritism are the standing vices of kings. And he will take the tenth of your men's servants and your maid's servants, and your goodliest young men and your asses, and put them to his work. And he will take the tenth of your sheep, and ye shall be his servants.
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and ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen and the Lord will not hear you in that day." This accounts for the continuation of monarchy. Neither do the characters of the few good kings which have lived since either sanctify the title or blot out the sinfulness of the origin. The high ecumen given of David takes no notice of him officially as a king, but only as a man after God's own heart. Nevertheless, the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel and they said,
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but we will have a king over us, that we may be like all the nations, and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles." Samuel continued to reason with them, but to no purpose. He set before them their ingratitude, but all would not avail. And seeing them fully bent on their folly, he cried out, I will call unto the Lord, and he shall send thunder and rain, which then was a punishment, being in the time of wheat harvest, that ye may perceive and see that your wickedness is great,
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which ye have done in the sight of the Lord, in asking you a king. So Samuel called unto the Lord, and the Lord sent thunder and rain that day, and all the people greatly feared the Lord and Samuel. And all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto the Lord thy God, that we die not, for we have added unto our sins this evil, to ask a king." These portions of scripture are direct and positive. They admit of no equivocal construction, that the Almighty hath here entered his
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protest against monarchical government is true or the scripture is false. And a man hath good reason to believe that there is as much of kingcraft as priestcraft in withholding the scripture from the public in popish countries, for monarchy in every instance is the popery of government. To the evil of monarchy we have added that of hereditary succession, and as the first is a degradation and lessening of ourselves, so is the second, claimed as a matter of right, is an insult and an imposition on posterity.
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For all men being originally equals, no one by birth could have a right to set up his own family in perpetual preference to all others forever. And though himself might deserve some decent respect of honors of his contemporaries, yet his descendants might be far too unworthy to inherit them. One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in kings is that the nature disproves it. Otherwise, she would not so frequently turn it into ridicule by giving mankind an ass for a lion.
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Secondly, as no man at first could possess any other public honors than were bestowed upon him, so the givers of those honors could have no power to give away the right of posterity. And though they might say, We choose you for our head, they could not without manifest injustice to their children say, that your children and your children's children shall reign over ours forever. Because such an unwise, unjust, unnatural compact might perhaps, in the next succession, put them under the government of a rogue or a fool. Most wise men in their private sentiments
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have ever treated hereditary right with contempt, yet it is one of those evils which when once established is not easily removed. Many submit from fear, others from superstition, and the most powerful part shares with the king the plunder of the rest. This is supposing the present race of kings is in the world to have had an honorable origin. Whereas it is more than probable that could we take off the dark covering of antiquity and trace them to their first rise, that we should find the first of them nothing better than the principal ruffian
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of some restless group, whose savage manners or preeminence in suitability obtained him the title of chief among plunderers, and who, by increase in power and extending his deportations, overawed the quiet and defenseless to purchase their safety by frequent contributions. Yet his electors could have no idea of giving hereditary right to his descendants, because such a perpetual exclusion of themselves was incompatible with the free and unrestrained principles they professed to live by. Wherefore hereditary succession in the early ages of monarchy
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could not take place as a matter of claim, but as something casual or complemental, but as few or no records were extant in those days and, traditionally, history stuffed with fables. It was very easy, after the lapse of a few generations, to trump up some superstitious tale, conveniently timed, Mahomet-like, to cram hereditary right down the throats of the vulgar. Perhaps the disorders which threatened or seemed to threaten on the decease of a leader and the choice of a new one
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for elections among ruffians could not be very orderly, induced many at first to favor hereditary pretensions, by which means it happened as it hath happened since, that what at first was submitted to as a convenience was afterwards claimed as a right. England, since the conquest, hath known some few good monarchs, but groaned beneath a much larger number of bad ones. Yet no man in his senses can say that their claim under William the Conqueror is a very honorable one. A French bastard landing with an armed bandit
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and establishing himself King of England against the consent of the natives, is in plain terms a very paltry, rascally original. It certainly hath no divinity in it. However, it is needless to spend much time in exposing the folly of hereditary right. If there are any so weak as to believe it, let them promiscuously worship the ass and lion and welcome. I shall neither copy their humility nor disturb their devotion. Yet I should be glad to ask how they suppose kings came at first.
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The question admits but of three answers, these either by lot, by election, or by usurpation. If the first king was taken by lot, it establishes a precedent for the next, which excludes hereditary succession. Saul was by lot, yet the succession was not hereditary. Neither does it appear from that transaction there was any intention it ever should. If the first king of any country was by election, that likewise establishes a precedent for the next. For to say that the right of all future generations is taken away by the act of the first electors
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in their choice not only of a king, but of a family of kings forever, hath no parallel in or out of Scripture, but the doctrine of original sin, which supposes the free will of all men lost in Adam. And from such comparison, and it will admit of no other, hereditary succession can derive no glory. For as in Adam all sinned, and as in the first electors all men obeyed, as in the one all mankind were subjected to Satan, and in the other to sovereignty. As our innocence was lost in the first,
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and our authority in the last, and as both disable us from resuming some former state and privilege, it unanswerably follows that original sin and hereditary succession are parallels, dishonorable rank, inglorious connection. Yet the most subtle sophist cannot produce a jester simile. As to usurpation, no man will be so hardy as to defend it, and that William the Conqueror was a usurper is a fact not to be contradicted. The plain truth is
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that the antiquity of English monarchy will not bear looking into. But it is not so much the absurdity as the evil of hereditary succession which concerns mankind. Did it ensure a race of good and wise men, it would have the seal of divine authority. But as it opens the door to the foolish, the wicked, and the improper, it hath in the nature of oppression. Men who look upon themselves born to reign and others to obey soon grow insolent. Selected from the rest of mankind, their minds are early poisoned by importance.
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and the world they act in differs so materially from the world at large that they have but little opportunity of knowing its true interests and when they succeed to the government are frequently the most ignorant and unfit of any throughout the Dominions. Another evil which attends hereditary succession is that the throne is subject to be possessed by a minor at any age, all which time the Regency acting under the cover of a king have every opportunity and inducement to betray their trust. The same national misfortune happens when a king
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worn out with age and infirmity, enters the last stage of human weakness. In both these cases the public becomes a prey to every miscreant. Who can temper successfully with the follies either of age or infancy? The most plausible plea, which hath ever offended in favor of hereditary succession, is that it preserves a nation from civil wars, and were this true, it would be weighty, whereas it is the most barefaced falsity ever imposed upon mankind. The whole history of England disowns the fact. Thirty kings and two miners have reigned
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in the distracted kingdom since the conquest, in which time there have been, including the Revolution, no less than eight civil wars and nineteen rebellions. Wherefore, instead of making for peace, it makes against it, and destroys the very foundation it seems to stand on. The contest for monarchy and succession between the houses of York and Lancaster laid England in a scene of blood for many years. Twelve pitched battles, besides skirmishes and sieges, were fought between Henry and Edward. Twice was Henry prisoner to Edward, who in his turn was prisoner to Henry.
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And so uncertain is the fate of war and the temper of a nation, when nothing but personal matters are the ground of a quarrel, that Henry was taken in triumph from a prison to a palace, and Edward obliged to fly from a palace to a foreign land. Yet, as sudden transitions of temper are seldom lasting, Henry in his turn was driven from the throne, and Edward recalled to succeed him, the Parliament always following the strongest side. This contest began in the reign of Henry VI, and was not entirely extinguished till Henry VII.
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in whom the families were united, including a period of sixty-seven years, these from 1422 to 1489. In short, monarchy and succession have laid, not this or that kingdom only, but the world in blood and ashes. is a form of government which the world of God bears testimony against, and blood will attend it. If we inquire into the business of a king, we shall find that in some countries they have none. And after sauntering away their lives without pleasure to themselves or advantage to the nation, withdrawn from the scene,
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and leave their successors to tread the same idle round. In absolute monarchies, the whole weight of business, civil and military, lies on the king. The children of Israel, in their request for a king, urged this plea, that he may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles. But in countries where he is neither a judge nor a general, as in England, a man would be puzzled to know what is his business. The nearer any government approaches to a republic, the less business there is for a king.
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It is somewhat difficult to find a proper name for the government of England. So William Meredith calls it a republic, but in his present state, it is unworthy of the name because the corrupt influence of the crown by having all the places in its disposal hath so effectually swallowed up the power and eaten out the virtue of the House of Commons, the republican part in the constitution, that the government of England is nearly as monarchal as that of France or Spain. Men fall out with names without understanding them, for it is the republican and not
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the monarchical part of the Constitution of England, which Englishmen glory in, fees the liberty of choosing and house of commons from out of their own body, and it is easy to see when republican virtue fails, slavery ensues. Why is the Constitution of England sickly? But because monarchy hath poisoned the republic, the crown hath engrossed the commons. In England, the king hath little more to do than to make war and give away places, which in plain terms is to impoverish the nation and set it together by the ears.
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A pretty business indeed for a man to be allowed eight hundred thousand sterling a year for, and worshipped into the bargain. Of more worth is one honest man to society, and in the sight of God, than all the crowned ruffians that ever lived. End of chapter 2.
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Common Sense, Chapter 3, Part 1. is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Common Sense by Thomas Paine. Chapter 3. Thoughts on the Present State of American Affairs. Part 1. In the following pages I offer nothing more than simple facts, plain arguments and common sense, and have no other preliminaries to settle with the reader than that he will divest himself of prejudice and prepossession.
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and suffer his reason and his feelings to determine for themselves that he will put on, or rather that he will not put off, the true character of a man and generously enlarge his views beyond the present day. Volumes have been written on the subject of the struggle between England and America. Men of all ranks have embarked on the controversy from different motives and with various designs, but all have been ineffectual and the period of debate is closed. Arms as the last resource decide the contest. The appeal was the choice of the king.
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and the continent hath accepted the challenge. It hath been reported of the late Mr. Pelham, who though an able minister was not without his faults, that on his being attacked in the House of Commons on the score, that his measures were only of a temporary kind, he replied, they will last my time. Should a thought so fatal and unmanly possess the colonies in the present contest, the name of ancestors will be remembered by future generations with detestation.
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The sun never shined on a cause of greater worth. It is not like the affair of a city, a country, a province, or a kingdom, but of a continent, of at least one-eighth part of the habitable globe. It is not the concern of a day, a year, or an age. Posterity are virtually involved in the contest, and will be more or less affected, even to the end of time, by the proceedings now. Now is the seed time of continental union. Faith and honor, the least fracture now, will be like a name engraved with the point of a pin
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on the tender rind of a young oak. The wound will enlarge with a tree, and posterity read in it full-grown characters. By referring the matter from argument to arms, a new era for politics is struck, a new method of thinking hath arisen. All plans, proposals, etc., prior to the 19th of April, in other words, to the commencement of hostilities, are like the almanacs of the last year, which, though proper then, are superseded and useless now.
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Whatever was advanced by the advocates on either side of the question then, terminated in one and the same point. These, a union with Great Britain, the only difference between the parties was the method of effectuating it. The one proposing force, the other friendship. But it hath so far happened that the first hath failed, and the second hath withdrawn her influence. As much hath been said of the advantages of reconciliation, which like an agreeable dream hath passed away and left us as we are.
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It is but right that we should examine the contrary side of the argument and inquire into some of the many material injuries which these colonies sustain and always will sustain by being connected with and dependent upon Great Britain. To examine that connection and dependence on the principles of nature and common sense to see what we have to trust to if separated and what we are to expect if dependent. I have heard it asserted by some that as America hath flourished under the former connection with Great Britain that the same connection is necessary towards her future happiness.
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and will always have the same effect. Nothing can be more fallacious than this kind of argument. We may as well assert that because a child has thrived upon milk, that it is never to have meat, or that the first twenty years of our lives is to become precedent for the next twenty. But even this is admitting more than is true, for I answer roundly that America would have flourished as much and probably much more had no European power had anything to do with her. The commerce by which she hath enriched herself are the necessities of life and will always have a market.
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while eating is the custom of Europe. But she has protected us, some say, that she hath engrossed us is true, and defended the continent at our expense as well as her own is admitted. And she would have defended Turkey from the same motive, these the sake of trade and dominion. Alas, we have been long led away by ancient prejudices and made large sacrifices to superstition. We have boasted the protection of Great Britain without considering that her motive was interest, not attachment, that she did not protect us from our enemies on our account.
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but from her enemies on her own account, from those who had no quarrel with us on any other account, and who will always be our enemies on the same account. Let Britain waive her pretensions to the continent, or to the continent throw off the dependents, and we should be at peace with France and Spain, were they at war with Britain. The miseries of Hanover, last war, ought to warn us against connections. It hath lately been asserted in Parliament that the colonies have no relation to each other but through the parent country, in other words, that Pennsylvania and the Jerseys
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and so on for the rest, are sister colonies by way of England. This is certainly a very roundabout way of proving relationship, but it is the nearest and only true way of proving enemieship, if I may so call it. France and Spain never were, nor perhaps ever will be, our enemies as Americans, but as our being the subject of Great Britain. Yet Britain is the parent country, some say. Then the more shame upon her conduct. Even brutes do not devour their young, nor savages make war upon their families. Where, therefore, the assertion, if true,
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turns to her reproach, but it happens not to be true, or only partly so, that the phrase parent or mother country have been justiciously adopted by the king and his parasites with a low, tapestical design of gaining an unfair bias on the credulious weakness of our minds. Europe and not England is the parent country of America. This new world hath been the asylum for the persecuted lovers of civil and religious liberty from every part of Europe. Hither have they fled
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not from the tender embraces of the mother, but from the cruelty of the monster. And it is so far true of England that the same tyranny which drove the first immigrants from home pursues their descendants still. In this extensive quarter of the globe, we forgot the narrow limits of 360 miles, the extent of England, and carry our friendship on a large scale. We claim brotherhood with every European Christian and triumph in the generosity of the sentiment. It is pleasant to observe by what regular graduations
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We surmount the force of local prejudice as we enlarge our acquaintance with the world. A man born in any town in England, divided into parishes, will naturally associate Moth with his fellow parishioners because their interests in many cases will be common and distinguished him by the name of neighbor. But if he meet him but a few miles from home, he drops the narrow idea of a street and salutes him by the name of houndsman. If he travel out of the country and meet him in any other, he forgets the minor division of street and town and calls him countryman.
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In other words, country man. But if in their foreign excursions they should associate in France or any other part of Europe, their local remembrance would be enlarged to that of Englishmen. And by a just parody of reasoning, all Europeans meeting in America or any other quarter of the globe are countrymen for England, Holland, Germany, or Sweden, when compared with the whole, stand in the same place on the larger scale, which the division of street, town, and country do on the smaller ones. Distinction is too limited
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for continental minds. Not one-third of the inhabitants, even of this province, are of English descent. Wherefore, I reprobate the phrase of parent or mother country applied to England only as being false, selfish, narrow, and ungenerous. But, admitting that we were all of English descent, what does it amount to? Nothing. Britain, being now an open enemy, extinguishes every other civil name and title, and to say that reconciliation is our duty is truly farcical. The first King of England of the present line,
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William the Conqueror was a Frenchman, and half the peers of England are descendants from the same country. Wherefore, by the same method of reasoning, England ought to be governed by France. Much hath been said of the united strength of Britain and the colonies, that in conjunction they might bid defiance to the world. But this is mere presumption. The fate of war is uncertain. Neither do the expressions mean anything, for this continent would never suffer itself to be drained of inhabitants to support the British arms in either Asia, Africa, or Europe.
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What have we to do with setting the world at defiance? Our plan is commerce, and that, well attended to, will secure us the peace and friendship of all Europe. Because it is the interest of all Europe to have America a free port. Her trade will always be a protection, and her barrenness of gold and silver secure her from invaders. I challenge the warmest advocate for reconciliation to show a single advantage that this continent may reap by being connected with Great Britain. I repeat the challenge, not a single advantage is derived.
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Our corn will fetch its price in any market in Europe, and our imported goods must be paid for by them where we will. But the injuries and disadvantages we sustain by the connection are without number, and our duty to mankind at large, as well as to ourselves, instruct us to renounce the alliance, because any submission to or dependence on Great Britain tends directly to involve this continent in European wars and quarrels, and sets us at variance with nations who would otherwise seek our friendship, and against whom we have neither anger nor complaint.
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As Europe is our market for trade, we ought to form no partial connection with any part of it. It is the true interest of America to steer clear of European contentions, which she never can do, while her dependence on Britain. is made the make-weight in the scale on British politics. Europe is too thickly planted with kingdoms to be long at peace. And, where never a war breaks out between England and any foreign power, the trade of America goes to ruin. Because of her connection with Britain, the next war may not turn out like the last. And should it not,
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The advocates for reconciliation now will be wishing for separation then, because neutrality in that case would be a safer convoy than a man of war. Everything that is right or natural pleads for separation. The blood of the slain, the weeping voice of nature cries, "'Tis time to part." Even the distance at which the Almighty hath placed England and America is a strong and natural proof that the authority of the one over the other was never the design of heaven. The time, likewise, at which the continent was discovered adds weight to the argument.
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and the manner in which it was peopled, increases the force of it. The Reformation was preceded by the discovery of America, and if the Almighty graciously meant to open a sanctuary to the persecuted in future years, when home should afford neither friendship nor safety. The authority of Great Britain over this continent is a form of government, which sooner or later must have an end, and a serious mind can draw no true pleasure by looking forward, under the painful and positive conviction that what he calls the present Constitution is merely temporary.
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As parents, we can have no joy knowing that this government is not sufficiently lasting to ensure anything which we may bequeath to posterity. And by a plain method of argument, as we are running the next generation into debt, we ought to do the work of it. Otherwise, we use them meanly and pitifully. In order to discover the line of our duty rightly, we should take our children in our hand and fix our station a few years farther into life. That eminence will present a prospect which a few present fears and prejudices
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conceal from our sight. Though I would carefully avoid giving unnecessary offense, yet I am inclined to believe that all those who espouse the doctrine of reconciliation may be included within the following descriptions. Interested men who are not to be trusted, weak men who cannot see, prejudiced men who will not see, and a certain set of moderate men who think better of the European world than it deserves. And this last class, by an ill-judged deliberation, will be the cause of more calamities to this continent.
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than all the other three. It is the good fortune of many to live distant from the scene of sorrow. The evil is not sufficiently brought to their doors to make them feel the precariousness with which all American property is possessed. Let our imaginations transport us for a few moments to Boston. That seat of wretchedness will teach us wisdom and instruct us forever to renounce a power in whom we can have no trust. The inhabitants of that unfortunate city, who but a few months ago were in ease and affluence, have now
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no other alternative than to stay and starve or turn out to beg. Endangered by the fire of their friends if they continue within the city and plundered by the soldiery if they leave it, in their present condition they are prisoners without the hope of redemption and in a general attack for their relief they would be exposed to the fury of both armies. Men of passive tempers look somewhat lightly over the offenses of Britain and, still hoping for the best, are apt to call out, Come, come, we shall be friends again for all this.
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but examine the passions and feelings of mankind. Bring the doctrine of reconciliation to the touchstone of nature, and then tell me whether you can thereafter love, honor, and faithfully serve the power that hath carried fire and sword into your land. If you cannot do all these, then are you only deceiving yourselves by your delay, bringing ruin upon posterity. Your future connection with Britain, whom you can neither love nor honor, will be forced and unnatural, and being formed only on the plane of present convenience, will in a little time
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fall to a relapse more wretched than the first. But if you say, you can still pass the violations over, then I ask, hath your house been burnt? hath your property been destroyed before your face? are your wife and children destitute of a bed to lie on or bread to live on? have you lost a parent or a child by their hands and yourself the ruined and wretched survivor? if you have not, then you are not a judge of those who have. but if you have and still can shake hands with the murderers, then you are unworthy of the name of husband, father, friend, or lover.
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and whatever may be your rank or title in life, you have the heart of a coward and the spirit of a sycophant. It is not inflaming or exaggerating matters, but trying them by those feelings and affections which nature justifies, and without which we should be incapable of discharging the social duties of life, or enjoying the felicities of it. I mean not to exhibit horror for the purpose of provoking revenge, but to awaken us from fatal and unmanly slumbers, that we may pursue determinantly some fixed object. It is not in the power of Britain or of Europe.
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to conquer America if she do not conquer herself by delay and timidity. The present winter is worth an age if rightly employed, but if lost or neglected, the whole continent will partake of the misfortune, and there is no punishment which that man will not deserve, be he who or what or where he will, that may be the means of sacrificing a season so precious and useful. It is repugnant to reason, to the universal order of things, to all examples from former ages, to suppose
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that this continent can longer remain subject to any external power. The most saguine in Britain does not think so. The utmost stretch of human wisdom cannot, at this time, compass a plan short of separation, which can promise the continent even a year's security. Reconciliation is now a fallacious dream. Nature hath deserted the connection, and Arch cannot supply her place. For, as Milton wisely expresses, never can true reconcilement grow where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep.
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Every quiet method for peace hath been ineffectual. Our prayers have been rejected with disdain, and only intended to convince us that nothing flatters vanity or confirms obstinacy in kings more than repeated petitioning. And nothing hath contributed more than that very measure to make the kings of Europe absolute. Witness Denmark and Sweden. Wherefore, since nothing but blows will do, for God's sake let us come to a final separation and not leave the next generation to be cutting throats.
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under the violated unmeaning names of parent and child. To say that they will never attempt it again is idle and illusionary. We thought so at the repeal of the Stamp Act. Yet a year or two undeceived us, as well as we supposed that nations which have been once defeated will never renew the quarrel. As to government matters, it is not in the power of Britain to do this continent justice. The business of it will soon be too weighty and intricate to be managed with any tolerable degree of convenience by a power
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so distant from us, and so very ignorant of us. For if they cannot conquer us, they cannot govern us. To be always running three or four thousand miles with a tail or a petition, waiting four or five months for an answer, which, when obtained, requires five or six more to explain it in, will in a few years be looked upon as folly and childishness. There was a time when it was proper, and there is a proper time for it to cease. Small islands not capable of protecting themselves
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are the proper objects for kingdoms to take under their care. But there is something very absurd in supposing a continent to be perpetually governed by an island. In no instance hath nature made the satellite larger than its primary planet. And as England and America, with respect to each other, reverses the common order of nature, it is evident they belong to different systems, England to Europe, America to itself. I am not induced by motives of pride, party, or resentment to espouse the doctrine of separation and independence. I am clearly
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positively and conscientiously persuaded that it is the true interest of this continent to be so, that everything short of that is mere patchwork, that it can afford no lasting felicity, that it is leaving the sword to our children and shirking back at a time when a little more, a little farther, would have rendered this continent the glory of the earth. End of part one of chapter three.
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You know, it used to be we would recommend you use a virtual private network or VPN only for specific circumstances. Like say, if you're out in public and you're using an unfamiliar Wi-Fi network, that's a great reason to use the VPN. But these days, we feel a VPN has gone from a nice to have to a must have. For example, let's say there's a fascist out there with a lot of power. And that power could be used to force your internet service provider to turn over information about you, like say your download history.
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or all the websites you visit? Our goal at Stupid Sexy Privacy is to teach you how to protect yourself from bashes and weirdos. So these days we feel everyone should be using a VPN. The thing is, the VPN space is really scammy. Some of the loudest advertisers have the worst track record when it comes to protecting your data. That means you could lose money on a company promising you protection and offering you none. Everyone is in a different situation when it comes to protecting their privacy and their anonymity. But...
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This episode of Stupid Sexy Privacy was recorded in Hollywood, California. It was written by BG Mendelson, produced by Andrew Van Voorst, and hosted by me, Rosie Tran. And of course, our program is sponsored by our friends DuckDuckGo. If you enjoy the show, I hope you'll take a moment to leave us a review on PocketCast, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you may be listening. This won't take more than two minutes of your time, and leaving us a review will help other people find it.
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We have a crazy goal of helping 5 % of Americans get 1 % better at protecting themselves from fascists and weirdo. Your reviews can help us reach that goal, since leaving one makes our show easier to find. So please take a moment to leave us a review and I'll see you right back here next Thursday at midnight. After you watch Rosie Tran Presents on Amazon Prime, right? Bonzo, I wish that you'll have many more birthdays just like this one. With those you love and trust around you always to share your happiness.
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And I wish that you'll get a chance very soon to prove that being loved and looked after like a human being has made you feel like a human being. And that if love can do that to you, then it ought to be able to make some other human beings human beings.