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The Iron Lab Podcast: raw, real, unfiltered, unfinished conversations about trying to EAT, SLEEP, TRAIN and LIVE a messy, imperfect life. Support, accountability, fun and authenticity.
Coach Jo 00:09
Welcome to Perfectly Unfinished Conversations, the Iron Lab podcast with Coach Jo…
Coach Kim 00:14
…and Coach Kim…
Coach Jo 00:15
Where you ride shotgun with us as we have raw, real, unfiltered, and unfinished conversations about trying to eat, sleep, train, and live with some integrity in a messy, imperfect life.
Coach Kim 00:27
We're all about creating a strong support system, taking radical personal responsibility, having fun, and being authentic. And one of the most common themes you're going to find in this podcast is the idea that we create positive momentum in our life, by doing what we call b-minus work.
Coach Jo 00:45
We’re making gains and getting ahead and loving life without self-sabotaging our goals by striving for perfection. We get it done by moving ahead…
Coach Kim 00:55
…before we're ready…
Coach Jo 00:56
…when we aren't feeling like it…
Coach Kim 00:58
…and without hesitation.
Coach Jo 1:00
Be sure to subscribe now on Apple or Spotify, so you don't miss a single episode. It’s good enough. Let's go.
Coach Jo 01:07
Hello and welcome back. We are on episode 15 here for the Iron Lab Podcast: Perfectly Unfinished Conversations. You got Jo and Kim...
Coach Kim 01:18
Hi.
Coach Jo 01:19
And we're going to be talking about the holiday Survival Guide. This episode should be coming out to you guys here on December 16. So we thought we should talk about something that was pretty important around that exact time.
Coach Kim 01:31
Yeah, I think where we're going to start is talking about kind of where we live and culturally, what holidays very typically look like for us, for our clientele. We can't speak for everybody, but we can make general, general...
Coach Jo 01:45
Generalization.
Coach Kim 01:47
Generalities? Yeah. Anyhow, we can make generalities about cultural traditions around Christmas. Lacombe, where we live, Alberta, Canada, is kind of in the Bible Belt, and so there is a lot of churches and religious kinds of celebrations, but also we are, I always think, like, Alberta is Canada's Texas. You know what I mean?
Coach Jo 02:11
Like, bigger and faster and bigger work hard.
Coach Kim 02:13
And oil and gas and ranchers and farm and agriculture and yeah, and and lots of business as well, but it's the hustle, specifically that you're talking about, and I think that probably exists in most places nowadays, but really it's kind of the driving energy of Alberta, and it translates into how we behave culturally as people, and especially when it comes to celebrations and holiday seasons. And we were just talking before this episode started, where I said, you know, typically, once the weather starts to change, it's almost like, I wonder if we developed all these holiday crazy, extended holidays as a way to survive the winter.
Coach Jo 02:53
I have thought about that many times, you know, like, what else do we do?
Coach Kim 02:56
Yea, the bleack light starts to change. The leaves fall. It gets cold. It's, you know, like, even today, minus 17 here, it's, you know, it's, it's sunny enough, it's bright enough where we've got a snowfall warning coming, but it's almost like somebody somewhere was like, Okay, this is almost unbearable. We should create six months of holidays to get us through, get us through the winter, because it's like Thanksgiving, and then it's Halloween, and then it's November, Christmas party season, and that extends into December, and then we have Christmas, and then we have Christmas week, and then we have January 1, and boxing or not, Boxing Day and New Year's Day, and then we've got Valentine's Day, and then we've got Easter.
Coach Jo 03:36
Yeah, I know it never ends.
Coach Kim 03:38
It doesn't end. And so culturally, what we see is that, you know, people typically just go from one holiday of excess to the next, yeah, starting in about October. And so Christmas is no different. And so November, it's probably already started, although I feel like it's a little later than normal, because we've had pretty nice weather up until recently.
Coach Jo 04:01
I don't know, I was in Walmart, and it was before Halloween, and they already had the Christmas shit out. And I was like, What is going on here? It's just a lot, like, it's like, early October, it was, think it was Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm like, they've already scooted the Halloween out before Halloween, and they were starting to put Christmas in.
Coach Kim 04:16
I didn't notice that, but I did notice at one of the drug stores in town that that November 1, boom, all the Halloween stuff was gone and the Christmas stuff was already up in the aisles. You know.
Coach Jo 04:25
There's early shoppers.
Coach Kim 04:26
Totally and so that also translates into the the rush and the stress and the pressure and the excess of it all through this entire season. And so one of the things that I think is useful to kind of talk about, when we're talking about surviving the holidays, there's a lot of things happening simultaneously that we kind of hype up to. We're ramping up to this one event that tends to last, you know...
Coach Jo 04:56
Couple days, a week.
Coach Kim 04:58
A week, yeah, for sure. However, but it's, you know, it is the shopping and the money and the stress of that and making it happen, plus, in addition to the pace, yeah, the regular pace of busy life. But then you add on all these other expectations and patterns and behaviours and, you know, ways that we show up to be in the holidays, food and drink, alcohol, party season, family drama, family stress, family time, you know. And then trying also to kind of find some time to be quiet and kind of recuperate and de stress through the holidays, you know, and let alone, kind of stay true to your goals. And I think where we kind of wanted to start was what we often see at this time of year is people who are like, you know, especially when it comes to their training or their eating habits or routines, if they, if they're trying to pay attention to, you know, creating a state in their body where they're they've got goals that they're working on. They just get to a point where they're like, ah, fuck it, you know, yeah, I can't do any I can't do anything else.
Coach Jo 06:04
Yeah, it's tough. So I think with this episode today, what we'd really like to do is work through some actual practical tips for managing some of this, you know, drama that comes we were calling it Christmas trauma earlier, and also just going through a couple of the different mindsets that we think would be really beneficial that maybe you could apply maybe it doesn't apply to you right now. Maybe you don't have stress through Christmas. But a lot of our clients that we work with, they do deal with whether it's the family drama, the excess of the food or the alcohol, dun, dun, dun, which is always a big one for you guys. Yeah, so first and foremost, let's talk about like food and drink tips, I'll tell you right now. Uh, speaking from my own personal experience, one of the things that I try to do, number one, when I have dinners, and I was saying to Kim, right kid of divorce, we've got four different Christmases So, and that might be extended Christmases as well. So there's a lot of meals that we have and a lot of dinners that we go to and travel to, is, I always try to plate myself with a big hunk of protein first, and I want to load up that plate. That's one of my biggest tips. I try to tell my clients, is, when you get there, where is the protein? Or before you even leave the house, have some sort of protein so you feel satiated when you arrive at these functions, and you don't feel like you have to completely, you know, go all out at the same time, and then you make better, smarter choices, because your glucose, if your blood is more stabilized, it's not doing a roller coaster. And you're like, wanting something sugary sweet again, right away, right away. But that's one of mine, what about for you?
Coach Jo 07:34
Of all the different flavors.
Coach Kim 07:34
Yeah, well, and listen, that is an excellent tip. And, you know, that's one of the ones that is kind of like that old standby. Even most Christmas parties you would attend, there's probably either a plated dinner or a buffet style dinner. And that's just kind of one of the primary tips I've always lived by, is I'm just going to put as much protein on my plate as possible, because that will fill me up and hopefully keep me from... it never does, though, it never does keep me from going back for dessert, right, or something like that. And so one of the strategies that I've also chosen to kind of apply is, if there's a meal, example at my mom's, or we're having our kids in for a meal that has all the fixings, all the things, then what I've kind of also gone to is if for one meal, I'm not hitting my protein target. It's not as big a deal. And I go to like, a tiny spoonful of everything I want, because at least then I'm not, like, mounding the plate. I'm just giving myself like a tablespoon or two of everything that I want to taste.
Coach Kim 07:51
Yeah. And then quite often, what I notice is that not only am I satisfied mentally with, like, I've had a little bit, but I'm not stuffed so hard that I have to open my button on my pants right to feel better. And I think that that's, you know, like, this is always kind of, I think one of the ways that Joe and I try to teach our own clientele is I want a life with tacos and margaritas, but, but the problem is that we tend to think that we should be able to have all the tacos and all the margaritas all the time, and that's, that's part of what isn't working for us, right?
Coach Jo 09:08
Yeah, it's to have it all the time, that feeling of excess all the time, all the time.
Coach Kim 09:13
When it comes to food as well. You know, I quite often find that, like, this is the time of year where we get into that you only live once or Christmas is only once a year. We sort of lie to ourself. I think.
Coach Jo 09:26
It's a form of self sabotage. If we speak like that all the time.
Coach Kim 09:29
Well, it is, for sure, but I think we kind of like it's permissive, like we're giving ourselves permission all the time to over indulge. But what we lose sight of is that, culturally, nowadays, we have access to all this stuff all the time. It's almost like not a special occasion to have Christmas, it's just another occasion with more excess.
Coach Jo 09:51
You can get mashed potatoes and turkey at Sobeys if you walked in.
Coach Kim 09:55
Well, and, just the simple fact that, you know, it used to be that the feast was once in a while, like, truly, once in a while. And now we feast all the time, all the time, yeah, you know. And so this permission to indulge, we do it at Christmas. But the but, the shitty lie that we're telling to ourselves is actually, like, we're really doing it all the time, pretty much. You know?
Coach Jo 10:20
Yeah, and it can carry on after Christmas, it's easy to do a couple meals where you say, Oh, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. And you indulge, indulge, indulge, indulge, over all those dinners, and then now the new year happens, and you're like, Oh, well, I really liked indulging, and I just want to keep doing that instead of the other thing.
Coach Kim 10:32
Well, or you just the other side of that too. You can like indulging and just want to keep going. Or you can pretty much loathe yourself and feel like shit, like, I've had those Christmases in the past. Oh yeah, totally fuck it, eating right? Like, but what's the point? I might as well just start again in January. You know? Like it is really easy over the Christmas holidays, when you're drinking paralyzers and homemade eggnog and having pie and all the dainties, and your mom makes nine different kinds of cookies, and then you're having turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy, and then you're having buns the next day, where you're having leftovers, and it drags on for four different households, like you said, Yep, you know what I mean. Like, it's so easy to just be blowing past the signal in your body that's like, you don't even know if you're done. You don't even know if you're satisfied, because it's almost like duty eating, or, you know, obligatory eating, or...
Coach Jo 10:35
Yessss.
Coach Kim 10:36
You know what I mean, like, Oh, I gotta go to moms, and she's gonna have all the things. And then there's this part of us where I also think this plays a role, honestly, and this is me going way deeper than probably most people care to go. But I think that that part of the lure of Christmas, food and drink is that it has ties to safer, happier feelings, probably somewhere in the past. And so it's like those are the things that we use to try to recreate some level of emotional comfort food, and comfort food for sure. And so the dangerous part is, is that you go in as a way of trying to recreate something for yourself, or not even recreate but bring back memories. It's nostalgia, it's melancholy, it's like, oh, Mom's gonna make all my favorite things. And that's so amazing. But then we just like, go and go and go and go and go and go and go. And I've done that in the past, where I was going with that is that it's easy to put on five, eith, ten, pounds within six weeks between December 1 and January 1. And part of that those behaviors is what has led to this whole, like, New Year, New You, Lose Weight In January, you know, all those things. And that's kind of the cycle that I think we'd love to break.
Coach Jo 12:49
Yeah, and I think a quote that you and I were talking about earlier is that, and you know, you've heard it, it's this isn't a destination, your your health journey is not all about a destination. It's about long lifetime of loving to move, eat, and just essentially a lifetime of being and wanting to be healthy. Yeah, you just want to feel healthy. And that's where, when we get into these types of, you know, diet programs, or, you know, clients who, not our clients, but clients who want to go to those quick ones, those quick fads, quick fixes.
Coach Jo 13:20
It is a big business, and they be making a ton of fucking money off you. Yeah, it is, is that there is no end game. There is no when the six weeks is done, when the eight weeks is done, when the three or the six month is done, or the year is done. Like the whole purpose is to teach people how to love, to move their body, to eat and nourish their body in a way that provides them with energy and less of a mental fucking roller coaster. Because when your glucose is going all over the place, you are crazy. You know what I mean?
Coach Kim 13:20
Big business.
Coach Kim 13:48
Your decision making definitely is altered, for sure, but it's also, I think, the way you feel when you look in the mirror. You fucking know when you're letting yourself down, yeah, you know when you're blowing past your own limits and so and then you also feel it physiologically, physically, in your joints and in your knees, and your bowels don't work, and you need to have a nap after supper. And like, there's all these things that don't make you feel great. And then you go to put on the outfit that you love, that you want to wear to mom's dinner, and you gotta, you know, your pants don't do up well. And then you're just beating yourself up. It's like, this super bad cycle in all the ways. And so some of the practical tips that we want to like again, you know, we've said this in past podcasts like, you can get any tip you want on how to manage the holidays on the internet somewhere.
Coach Jo 14:36
Yeah.
Coach Kim 14:36
Search Pinterest. That'll give you all the tips, you know. But essentially what Jo and I really want to begin to teach people is some of the strategies we're going to talk about coming up are our mindset, their consciousness. It's awareness. It's not deprivation, it's not restriction. It's not saying I can't have it. I'm not going to have it. I'm. I'm gonna or fuck it and just bring it on, you know, like, I'm not gonna do it one way or the other. I'm gonna actually use some of the strategies that will have me respecting myself, feeling pretty good, taking part in the season, but respecting my own limits, all of it. Yeah, yeah. So, like, let's
Coach Jo 15:19
talk some of those mindset tips and ways that we were like, how can you get your brain to think another way? That's really what it's about. Can you reframe your indulges? So what does an indulge look like to you? Like? Is it you going all out for X amount of days? Is it you going to a dinner and knowing that, oh, I'm going to get my apple crisp for dessert and I'm going to go to town and have three pieces of that as apple crisp like, what does an indulge look like to you? Because I'll tell you personally, when I go to my mom's house, and my mom does all the little intricate cooking things as well, and my favorite things she makes are ginger snap cookies. And she has, Mom, you make the softest fucking ginger snap cookies. Other people make them so rock hard, and you make the best. I'll say that.
Coach Kim 16:01
Those are tea dunkers.
Coach Kim 16:02
Yeah, you got the baseline habits.
Coach Jo 16:02
All the baseline habits going, right? So that's where, when people get started in their journeys, they look at, oh, I'm gonna go here. I'm gonna have all these cookies. And then, well, fuck it. And then they drop everything down and they slash all the other tires because one tire is blown, you know, of their body and their own motivation, and it's gone. And then they have to start from square one again. And then they get mad about the decision that they had to slash all the other tires and quit in the first place.
Coach Jo 16:02
No, they're just the best. My mom knows how to make them. And anyways, I know she only makes them this one time, and this one time in the year, and I get to go there, and I do not care to beat myself up over the fact that this one time a year I'm going to eat seven to 700 ginger snap cookies, because I know once the Christmas season is over, I still love to move my body. I still want to...
Coach Kim 16:53
Well, it leads to that self repeating cycle, yeah, self fulfilling prophecy of life.
Coach Jo 16:57
So it's about just reframing. What are indulges to you? And is it okay if you, you know, with what you're gonna say in the future is deciding ahead of time. Can you decide ahead of time that this I know I'm gonna have that beautiful indulge of those cookies, and then after that, I'm good, you know?
Coach Kim 17:10
Yeah. And I think that's part of what's I think that's part of what's missing is that, you know, for a lot of us, it's like we've got eight or 10 events over two months, you know what I mean, and we basically just kind of relinquish control. Oh, well, I might as well not even bother trying to fake, you know, control any of it, because I don't want to miss out, and I don't want Susan to be disappointed that I'm, I don't want people to judge the fact that I'm dieting.
Coach Jo 17:36
That is, well, that is a big one. We should we could almost talk about that for the whole rest of the podcast. What you just said right there, yeah, because how many people, and I know you felt it. I know I feel it. Why aren't you eating? Why aren't you having this? Oh, here, just have some more. Oh, there she goes.
Coach Kim 17:50
Yeah, there she goes again. Yeah, eating diet food, yeah, thinking she's, you know, better than us, because she's not eating the candy. You know, whatever I always do anyhow, but, but I know there are people who struggle with this, who don't feel supported, or who kind of get cajoled and and pressured into participating in ways that they you know, and some somebody listening is going to be like, yeah, you just tell people to fuck off and do your own thing. And we also know that that's part of the family drama. Yeah, that's part of the triggers that happen in the holiday season. You get your funky old aunt or uncle who comments on your weight or comments on your body, or asks you if you're still doing all that dumb workout stuff or like anything can happen.
Coach Jo 18:36
Are you still eating the whole plate of mashed potatoes Joely? Oh, Joely better go last, because she's gonna eat all the mashed potatoes. More, like if I hear that fucking mashed potato joke one more time on my, one side of my family, okay, when I was 18 years old, I used to eat a lot of mashed potatoes. I'm 40, almost 40 years old, guys, lay off the mashed potato jokes. You hear that?
Coach Kim 18:57
But that's part of the crazy. That's part of the crazy way that family works.
Coach Jo 19:01
I know, I know.
Coach Kim 19:01
You know, everybody's out there living their own life, and they come back together, and then all of a sudden, it's like we all revert into old, weird roles where it feels hard to, like, hold your own, like, this is who I am. This is how I choose to live. This is what I'm doing. And I don't need to, like, make decisions to make you feel more comfortable or better or like I'm participating in the way you think I should, or, you know, and that just takes clarity heading into that.
Coach Jo 19:29
Yeah, so like deciding ahead of time, yeah, explain what you mean by that.
Coach Kim 19:33
So I love the deciding ahead of time aspect, and we didn't touch really on alcohol under the food topic. But you know, I think that it applies really well to both and and it applies to so many things you deciding ahead of time is this idea that I with my prefrontal cortex, good thinking brain, the brain that exists at 7am when I wake up in the morning and she says, I'm gonna nail this day, I got my food planned, I'm going to get my workout. I'm going to accomplish all these tasks. That's your prefrontal decision making brain. That's not your animal brain. Your animal brain is the one that at 4pm is, like, I really could use a Tim Horton's donut. You know what I mean? Like, because I'm hungry, I didn't plan my lunch, and now I want to go, or I don't really feel like eating what I had prepared, so I'm going to have pizza instead, like that's your animal brain that in the moment wants to take over and drive you to be impulsive. And so making decisions ahead of time applies to all the things I'm deciding in advance before I go out for dinner. I know my mom's making turkey. There'll be stuffing and sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie and all the things I know. I'm deciding that I'm going to not beat myself up because I know that I'm gonna have a amazing meal, and then tomorrow morning, I'm getting up and I'm going for a walk. I'm diving right back into the habits that make me feel good, right? I'm upping my water like I'm just making choices before I get there and fucking wing it. Yeah, you know I'm not winging it. Winging it is the one way that you will always set yourself up to fail. And the way that this applies to me specifically, I don't drink a lot. Occasionally, I will, you know, at a family gathering, have a glass of champagne. Or, you know, I'm pretty I'm pretty choosy now about the things, because mostly just anxiety, hot flashes like alcohol just doesn't...
Coach Jo 21:20
And you feel like shit the next day.
Coach Kim 21:22
And so, but, you know, I have had times in the past where I could hit a little bit of a runaway, you know, and it would be fun, and it's not fun anymore. And so, you know, deciding ahead of time is I know that one drink will allow me to stay true, that what I've decided for myself, if I bypass my decision ahead of time and go to two drinks or three drinks, all bets are off. Two drinks, I'm like, Okay, bring on three. Bring on four. Yeah, and, and once I've decided, once I've blown past that decision, right? And then all of a sudden, it's like, not everything, oh, pizza is a great idea, and I'll have a second piece of pie and like, it all just goes out the window.
Coach Jo 22:03
Yeah, decision-making.
Coach Kim 22:03
So deciding ahead of time is choosing with your highest self brain and then following through on that right, honoring yourself enough to go. It's enough that I'm only going to have one glass of champagne and and that's what ...
Coach Kim 22:19
That's what I'm going to stick with.
Coach Jo 22:19
That's what I'm going to do.
Coach Jo 22:21
Yep. And when I'm done that glass, that's it, and that's how that goes, yeah. And I think that also can get applied to, you know, when you set your intentions or deciding ahead of time, setting it for the day, also knowing what you're headed into. So, stress we know when you're into your sympathetic nervous system and your body is firing on all cylinders in ways that it doesn't need to. It's okay to know that you're probably going to go to a function where someone is going to, you know, make that fire burn even more inside your body, meaning, like you're going to get triggered by something. Someone's going to say, there's the uncle, there's the mashed potato comments, there's the Oh, you're just crazy workout person, or Oh, show me 15 push ups Joely, or whatever they want to say. You know what I mean, like they're gonna have all those comments. But it's also deciding ahead of time and setting your intentions, knowing that I'm headed into this type of an event. How can I maintain my own triggers? How can I make sure that I can go into more of my my parasympathetic nervous system, so that I'm more at a calm at rest and digest no matter what is going to get tossed my way? Because if you're always running up high in the holidays, which is meant to be a time for rest and relaxation and recouping and rebuilding and heartbeat so you can go back out again after that break, if you don't allow yourself that rest and relaxation, you're going to just take it from six gear all the way up to 12 by the time you hit March or April, and I think that's when people really go down is I notice in our area, like where we live, just I'm talking from us, specifically in the schools and schedules, March is when people get sick, like they get so they crash so hard in March. And I truly think it starts in September. But they don't use that Christmas break as a time where they need to actually do what it's meant for.
Coach Kim 24:04
And that's back to the culturally, right? Like culturally, we are all just like, next thing, next event, bigger, more, faster, harder go, you know, and and so some of the tips that you know, we would probably like to offer, because we see it spill out in stress levels. Yeah, we see it spill out in, you know, which then turns into physical challenges. For a lot of people, when you're emotionally stressed, there is no separating emotional stress from physical stress. They're the same thing. Because even if you're emotionally stressed and you don't have a sore shoulder or a bad hip or a low back, that's grabby, you still have an upset stomach or tension in your shoulders, or...
Coach Jo 24:45
You haven't shit in a week.
Coach Kim 24:46
Yeah, could be anything. Yeah, totally. And so you know you there's no separating emotional and physical stress. And so where we see it play out with our people is that when they get stressed, they tend to... and we end up sacrificing ourself on the altar of showing up for others, right? We give away what we want for ourself because it's the right thing to do, and because it's the holidays, and it's only just this once, and you know, or like, all the things that we tell ourselves to justify.
Coach Jo 25:16
Yeah, and also, when we talk about being triggered, this is gonna probably, maybe upset some people who are listening when I say this. But your triggers are your own responsibility. That is a direct correlation to your own emotional regulation and management, and that is my opinion. You can choose what you want, but if you get triggered, a trigger is you in response to a situation that's happening. You can choose a new response. You can choose to calm down. You can choose to not let those things bother you. I know it's harder said than done, but the whole purpose of some of these tips is that if you set your intentions for the day, if you set your intention knowing what you're headed into, if you have that plan, like planning in advance in the morning, it's going to make a lot easier of a transition into any of those dinners, or maybe you don't converse with some of those people, or because you made that plan earlier in the day. You know what I mean, like, you can manage some of those triggers, because the trigger is going to relate into your stress, into your body, into everything else. It's going to lower itself down.
Coach Kim 26:13
Well, and when you're talking, you know, there are going to be people who listen to this, who go like, ladies, it's no fucking big deal. I'm going to eat what I want because it's Christmas and I've why are we talking about this? It's like body shame and food shaming. And you can eat what you want. You can have as much as you want. There are still people that want to that are working at for their own reasons, showing up for themselves to create the way that they want to feel. I'm one of those people. And what I know is that past experience is situations, they do evolve to a degree, but they really don't change. People don't change. I don't really change my, my goals, my my but you know, when we get together as family, the love is still there, the the old habits of behavior are still there, the the roles are still there, you know, but I get to choose. I'm always trying to go back to like, how do I want to feel tomorrow? How do I want to feel a week from now? Yeah, because what I've discovered in my own journey is I have over eaten and over drank enough for the rest of my life. I don't fucking need to do it anymore.
Coach Jo 27:21
Yeah.
Coach Kim 27:21
Like I've done that, and in the moment, it feels fun, because it feels free in the moment, and then I have the after effects that I have to deal with, whether it's emotional, physical.
Coach Jo 27:33
Food coma for a week.
Coach Kim 27:34
Whatever, yes, whatever it is, but, but the point is, is that at what point am I just done showing up in the way that I've always shown up? I want to do it different, and it doesn't mean anything about anybody else. I can love them where they are. I can manage myself. I just want this for me. And so when I can bring it back to that and go like it's not about the number on the scale, it's not about it's about my relationship with myself. It's about taking care of myself and how I want to show up in my world. Because it might just be Christmas holidays, it might just be turkey dinner, it might just be different events and relax lady, just have some fucking fun, get drunk and eat some pie, you know? And I've done that, and I'm kind of done doing that.
Coach Jo 28:20
You don't have to continue doing it.
Coach Kim 28:21
Yeah, yeah. This actually kind of brooches on that, like, because I was talking about overeating over drinking, I've always wanted to kind of address the topic of, if you can't moderate something, eliminate it. So it's this topic of, like, am I a moderator, or am I, am I an abstainer. And this is one of these times where I don't think anybody really has any intentions of abstaining from all the bounty of the season, so to speak. You know, candy and cookies and pies and alcohol and all those kinds of things. But one of the topics that has always kind of been a strategy, a practical tip for people who have goals that are important to them is, if you have trouble moderating while you're learning in the process, it's totally okay to just eliminate it altogether. It's totally cool to abstain while you're developing those skills. And that feels hard for a lot of people, but it's like, it's like, one of those things where you kind of got to pick your heart, you know, like, sometimes, especially when you have a lot of body baggage, body image baggage, or even past kind of disordered eating, or even maybe you've just been used alcohol in a way that doesn't you don't want to continue to do that. Like there's nothing wrong with just saying No thanks. I'm this, this not go around. I'm just going to skip that one.
Coach Jo 29:49
And it's just saying no without guilt, right? Just knowing that, like you said, you're building it all for you. What do you want? And it goes down into bigger when you talk about integrity for yourself, it's showing up. When no one is looking at you, right? How do you want to show up for yourself? What are you doing if no one's even watching you? Sometimes we do put a mask on, and we kind of perform for what we think other people would appear. This to be a healthy living journey. And then sometimes, when we take the mask off and we're at our house, it completely all changes, and that that really is integrity, integrity to the word integrity to what you say you're going to do. And if true integrity was taking care of yourself, if you thought in your whole hearts of hearts, you said, I want to take care of myself. This is the year I'm going to love myself. How does that translate when no one's watching you and you're all alone in your house? Or how does that translate when you're with all your friends at a Christmas party? How does that sentence translate into all areas of your life, because it's going to affect how you are going to continue to make decisions with your brain, against that asshole of a coach in there your subconscious, who's always trying to pull you down right, who wants to pull you back and make you comfortable and make you feel safe. And it's about building the resilience to saying no to those situations. The first time is always going to be the hardest, and the second time little bit harder. Once you reach the third No, and you built more resilience, it's so much easier to keep saying no to those things that aren't serving you well.
Coach Kim 31:11
Yeah, leaning in and trusting yourself and also realizing that other people's reactions and opinions are none of your fucking business.
Coach Kim 31:11
I was just having this conversation with one of my daughters where she was talking about setting boundaries and about saying no, and I think a lot of times, we're so much more worried about what the other person is going to say. If I say no, we picture this whole like big drama in our head about, you know, they're going to retaliate, or they're going to reject it, or they're going to judge me, or they're going to yell at me, or they're going to make me feel bad, or, you know, and really, a lot of that is like your brain doing the worst case scenario, really, truly saying no for yourself, for whatever you want to say no to quite often, like you say by number three, you're like, Yeah, okay, there's no big drama. There's no big there's no big blow up. I'm just, it's almost like you just need to start leaning in and doing it.
Coach Kim 31:48
Yeah, that's a tough one, but, but also good.
Coach Jo 31:52
It is. It's freeing once you get to that place, it's freeing once you truly don't care what other people think. And I think it's it, it's waves. I think people go in waves dependent on how, you know, confident they feel, or if something happened, or they have stress in their life, etc, etc,
Coach Kim 32:18
and maturity and wisdom. I think it gets older, the older you get. I think it really is, you know, you do get to kind of a page where it's like zero fucks. Oh, well, yeah, if they're if they don't like it, that's okay.
Coach Jo 32:28
Yea, another tip for managing, you know, this whole Christmas season is get some movement, whatever that may look like. Like with our family, we love to have family wrestling matches me, my husband and my two boys, we also like to turn on music, and we like to have a big dance party when we're at my mom's house. We like to do some sort of movement, whether it's walking outside, if there's snow, I'm praying there's snow this Christmas, because there wasn't much last year, because then we get outside, we go sledding, we go tobogganing. We're walking up the hills. We're moving in the snow, which is a lot of work, and especially for the kids. I think it's important to continue to have a little bit of movement. Maybe it's going for a walk, but also without movement. I think what else is really, really important is that we find maybe some time in the craziness of this to do a little bit of a recharge. For me, I love to have at least one of these days when we open our presents with like my own family at my own house, that we're in our jammies, and we just get a lounge it for a whole day, like, I need one of those days in this Christmas break in order to feel like I rested, I recovered like and there's no guilt about it. We can watch movies all day. We can relax. That's me recharging my battery. And it's funny, I just did that a couple weeks ago.
Coach Kim 33:36
Yeah.
Coach Jo 33:36
And Remembrance Day, and it was unreal, yeah?
Coach Kim 33:39
Well, and this kind of goes back to what you were saying about, you know, how it starts in September, and people by March are sick and bagged, and we're just desperate for spring. It's kind of like this multi, you know, pronged trouble zone, you know, this winter season here, and, you know, like we go so hard and we never stop. And so over the Christmas holidays, I do, like Jo, I like to get moving. I'm really the only one in my family that does, you know, like my husband, he'll go out and shovel and do those kinds of things. But like, even this year, I was like, I think I'm gonna buy some hockey skates. I think I want to, I want to hit the outdoor rinks. And, you know, it's been a long time.
Coach Jo 34:17
That'd be so fun.
Coach Kim 34:18
Yeah, totally. And I snowshoe and so, like, there are just ways I still gotta walk my dogs and, you know, so there will be ways that I will be active. But also, like you, what I really look forward to is I just want, like, two days where, if I don't get out of my sweat pants and my slippers, like, um, that's what I'm really looking forward to, and not having to respond to anybody, go anywhere, do anything, yeah,
Coach Jo 34:45
yeah. Exactly a season of being still, being quiet and being surrounded by people that love you. I think that's what Christmas should be about. It should be about being around people that love you, being around with your family members, but also having a little bit of. Of peace and solitude and in a way that recharges your battery so that you can come out the gate again.
Coach Kim 35:07
Yeah, so, you know, I think we've kind of jumped all over the place, but really, you know, I think that the intention for this episode is you can find tips to help yourself out anywhere out there. And also there's like this whole like polar polarity in it. Of I'm either going to white knuckle control my way through the holidays, or I'm just gonna basically say, Screw it and bring it on, and I'll deal with the fallout come January. And there's always another way to do it, yeah, and, and you don't even have to do it perfectly every day. You could decide ahead of time, use basic strategies, get yourself moving, hit all the things that you want to do, see all the people you want to see, and still do it kind of like as 80% you know, yeah, and
Coach Jo 36:04
come out of it, not upset with yourself, with the decisions you made, knowing full well ahead of time, this is what I choose to do. I'm gonna do it, and I'm good with it, and I move on, instead of beating yourself up over what, what may or may not happen.
Coach Kim 36:14
Um, I think that for me, like my goal is always to come through Christmas just being present, it like actually not even being present. The last few years and for most of our marriage, we traveled half the season, right? Like we would be at home either Christmas Eve or Christmas day with our own kids, and then we would go to Saskatoon or, you know, Regina, years ago, to share the holidays with his family, and so I never felt rested. I don't know what it feels like to have, like, a week of Christmas, Christmas at home, where I just get to do whatever I want, which is totally fine, like, it's been amazing and beautiful, but this year is, like, this new I've got a little bit of time, and, you know, you and I will be here as the coaches on the floor running classes between Christmas and New Year's, but I'm really looking forward to kind of maintaining all the things that I want to do to take care of myself through the holidays, yeah, and that includes making sure that I don't come out of the holidays four pounds heavier, because that's easy to do and I don't want to do it.
Coach Jo 37:25
Yeah. So, I think what would be really cool as we end this podcast would be that, why don't you take a moment, grab a little bit of a notepad or a journal book, get your pen with all the flashy colors and write down what would be your like top non negotiables over top of Christmas holidays, and see if you can stick to that. Like, what would you be willing to do? What would you not be willing to do?
Coach Kim 37:47
Love, it.
Coach Jo 37:47
Make a little bit of a plan so that now, from here on out, you know what you're capable of and what you're maybe not capable of, and that's okay, but you've set that intention and it's good.
Coach Jo 37:56
Yep, just make them like many goals, many goals, and then see if you can stick by them, right? It could be a nice little easy challenge for yourself over the Christmas holidays. Other than that, thanks so much for listening. Yeah, this is Kim and Joe. We're gonna wrap up and we wish you guys a merry Merry Christmas.
Coach Kim 37:56
It's clarity, and intention that's 100% right. Like, it's that awareness of like, I'm not, I'm not just gonna, you know, free wheel it, like I'm actually gonna sit down and go, okay, here are the events that are coming up. These are the ones where I really want to go all in and have a great time. Yep. These are the ones that are kind of duty obligations, staff Christmas parties, you know, like all the kinds of extras that we have to fit in go see so and so Christmas concert here, like whatever it is, right? And then how do I want to show up for myself at these events? What do I want the outcome to be? Because, you know, there's you can be in charge of that. You can decide anytime how what you're going to do.
Coach Kim 38:51
See in the new year, bye,
Coach Jo 38:54
You probably got a sense of who we are by now and what our personal approach is to developing a lifestyle that creates really great health and strength. Using a relational common sense coaching approach that is backed by knowledge and personal experience
Coach Kim 39:09
There are a couple of ways that you can work with Jo or I, one on one, remote or you can actually train here at Iron Lab.
Coach Jo 39:18
The first is the Metabolic Blueprint, personalized coaching program, which is customized for your life and your body.
Coach Kim 39:25
We work together very closely either in person or remotely to help you conquer old diet drama and to get lasting results.
Coach Jo 39:33
Ideally, we'd love to teach you how to never buy a quick-fix diet program or app again.
Coach Kim 39:41
Next, there is the accelerator academy, which is up to 12 months of self-paced weekly bite-sized lessons and journaling exercises, that we’ve created to help you create the lifestyle habits that generate a true transformation.
Coach Jo 39:56
Find out more on our website: ironlablacombe.com/metabolic-blueprint