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The Conscious Collaboration Podcast brings together entrepreneurs, changemakers, and thought leaders. We aim to highlight the people who embody the idea of aligned mind, body, and business. Each week, we share, discuss, and learn from the various experiences and ideas of our guest experts. Through our discovery, we find a path to aligned mind, body, and business.
Julia Dittman 0:04
What up, guys, this is Emily,
and I'm Lisa, and we are the conscious collaboration. And here with us today is Miss Julia Tedman, and she's joining us from Austria.
Julia,
hello, Lisa. Hello, Julia.
Is someone that I was attracted to on Instagram. Yeah, so awesome to see you in person.
So happy to be here and so happy to talk about love and relationships with you guys today.
Yeah,
wonderful. Yeah. I was really attracted to your content as it spoke directly to especially, and I think you called you called us FEM, FEM preneurs, which I really liked because it wasn't like the traditional girl boss type of title, but spiritual entrepreneurs and people that are bosses, CEOs, owners of their own businesses, and how you have really tuned into recognizing the unique challenges that come up within the realm of dating for women in particular. But do you also work with men?
No, I really just work with women, but because they are just drawn to me. So if the man would come along, I'm happy to guide him. But so far, it's just been women
beautiful. I love that so much. And so we were doing a little bit of work in the pre chat and talking about the importance of intuition in all of our businesses and helping us to guide our intentions and conversation. So listeners, we're actually going to start today with an E Ching to guide our conversation and weaving into it some of the energy that Julia, she did her own work with cards, tarot cards today, so we're going to have a really well attuned bite, I'd say bite sized nuggets. You're going to want to have a notebook nearby to capture some of what we have to say today, because we're really trying to tune in to see what you all need at home. So if we were to divine of the ancient e Ching today, Julia and Emily, let's form our intentions around and you guys can help me to massage this a little bit. What is the collective energy that our listeners are experiencing today in the realm of dating as it pertains to their entrepreneurial life, and what unique guidance can our conscious collaboration today give these women and entrepreneurs in and to help them improve in their authentic relationship? Building. Does that resonate with you? Julia and Emily, yes, okay, yeah,
yeah. And I think that maybe asks it in in such a way that even if we have listeners who are in a relationship or marriage or what have you, actively, that this advice could still apply to, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll just drop building that.
Yes.
Got flying cards, yes, active,
active energy that's without any caffeine, that's just normal. Okay, so we're looking for two energies. A lot going on. We're looking for two energies, and that is the current energy and then the forward facing or future energy that we can offer our guidance around. So everybody listening at home, if you have your piece of paper, you can write your own intentions around that. Whoo, okay, so the first energy around what the collective is experiencing is the energy of the cauldron. So that's really beautiful. I hope you can see that Julia as well, Emily and I get this energy a lot the cauldron. It seems to speak to a lot of feminine power in terms it gives me the imagery of, like, culminating medicine or cooking medicine or apothecary vibes. So cauldron very much like that melding together. So it's the energy of fire above and wind below, and it's so pretty. You, and then the future, the future energy is easy, Progress, also beautiful colors. So this is the unique guidance that we can offer within our conversation today to our listeners at home. And I'll tell you more about it, and then I'll let everybody riff on your insights and intuition. So easy progress. I think Julia lines up a lot with what you were divining of in terms of joy. But let's, let's dive a little bit in first in what the collective our listeners are facing in terms of the current energy being the cauldron. So if you can imagine, just like a mixing pot over a fire and flames, the cauldron symbolizes nourishment and rejuvenation, sooner or later, good comes to those who do good, and joy comes to those who bring joy to others. Opportunity comes to those who persist in their dreams. Healthy, regular sustenance is vitally important, and it's symbolized by that cooking pot that we see in the artist's rendition of the energy. So it talks about when the cycle of humanity reaches its apex, each person's sustenance comes in the form of fulfilling their deepest needs and desires. So this is very much pertaining to the energy of the Collect the collective right now in terms of their relationships, it says a fresh, new approach to old habits is indicated, looking for ways of putting new life into old forms. Only when great vitality is present can real breakthroughs be achieved. So it feels like there might be some resistance there, and that real desire for a breakthrough and that old habits just aren't serving anymore. But perhaps there's that desire or seeking for true things that nourished us, not just from a health holistic level, but just also a deep soul level as well, too. So I think this is really interesting, as I think our listening base, Julia is, is really that entrepreneur, minded person, the visionary, the thought leader. There are people that are very well aware of the importance of holistic health and wellness, but it's how do we take those that inner knowing and translate that into our dating life, where obviously there seems to be that need to break through some sort of barrier, block or wall? Do either of you have any thoughts on that?
Yes, when I saw the picture of the cauldron, I What immediately came to my mind was like the energy of all these emotions that are stirred up right now. So I I felt it like this big flow of emotions. And what I witness a lot of times is that we don't allow all of it to be there, but we gotta hold all of it, all the emotions from the positive spectrum, which we enjoy a lot, but also the sadness, the anger, the disappointment, especially when it comes to our love life, the shame, all all that stuff that we push down. And when I saw that cauldron, it felt to me like you're gonna put it all in there. You're gonna stir it up. And from that, from that wholeness of everything, something new will emerge.
I love that. I love that imagery makes 100% sense to me, yeah, making that, that wholeness, and just having to be that container of your own emotions, but then also holding that space for someone else as well too. Exactly. Emily, did you have any Intuit intuitive thoughts on that?
I i would say mine is sort of the same overarching concept, but in the context of in my cauldron, because I'm from Louisiana, is a big pot of gumbo. So that is it. So if you don't know what that is, it's a it generally starts with the. The the same base, okay? We call it a roux, right? Generally made of like flour and a fat source. And that sort of determines the the thickness and the color of of the base of the gumbo. And then all gumbo has what they call the Cajun Holy Trinity, which is celery, green pepper and onion. And so you start with this basic structure, but then you add, you know, you can get so creative with the ingredients that you add to it. And you know, you can make 1000s upon 1000s of different dishes from this kind of main base dish and and you can sort of remix it as you go. And so, so, yeah, same, same, but, but Cajun style.
I like that. I like breaking it down into the ingredient type of concept, too, and having those like foundations that might hold true for every human on some level. But then there's some things that are added for flavor. And I think, if I understand correctly, the gumbo, it's it's not necessarily that, you know, you can add things and it's not going to have the same result every
time, right, right? In fact, you can have very, very different and
yet it can make 1000 Yeah, yeah. I love that. So there is an indication that there are some difficulties or impedement of progress that are felt within the collective right now, and it feels like their resources are being squandered and that the talents are not being recognized. So is that something that you hear a lot in your practice, Julia,
that the talents are not being recognized. Or Could you, could you reframe that just for
Yeah, so feeling like resources are being squandered, and I could be wrong, but when I think of resources being squandered in the terms of dating, it might be, you know, a lot of time and energy spent in dating apps or first dates or money for matchmaking.
Yeah, translation, people
don't see you, people don't
or even just Yes, seeing you, or like, recognizing your uniqueness.
Yes, definitely. I want to say this also really comes back to what I, what we, what I shared in our pre chat about the energy of women, bringing a lot of effort in there, putting a lot of energy into the dating and really getting hung up in in those details, in the how in the dating app, or which, which profile picture to put on, like these are all things that will touch base on a little bit, but you can do as much as you want. If the energy is not right, it's not going to happen. Or at least you're going to bring in someone whose flavor you don't like coming back.
Am I correct in looking at your stuff you you generally prefer or, or try to guide people away from the dating apps.
Yes,
I think that. I mean, I think that's, I think that's the move personally, in my opinion, but that, yeah, I just wanted to see if, if I was correct. And
that's a great question, because I'm not saying don't use dating apps. I'm saying, if you really like feel good and relaxed about using them. If they don't make you feel overwhelmed or freaked out, use them. But if, if they make you go crazy, your energy has no chance to attract a decent guy on there. And also, how did people meet before the internet, right? It happened. So, I mean, unless we're sitting somewhere on the countryside, on the couch the whole day, people are going to meet people, right?
Well, and I think that it sort of feeds a lot of of the issues with with dating today, because it's so easy to just swipe to the next person or, you know, think like, oh. You know, kind of always have that the grass is greener on the other side thought going on. And to never really, you know, take the time to, like, actually get to know the person. And if you know, we could get into a whole side thing about, you know, what you think about, the the sort of mismatch in masculine and feminine energy types there, especially with entrepreneurial women, who are very, generally strong in their masculine and if a man doesn't have, or, you know, anyone holding the, you know, masculine dominant energy doesn't have to, doesn't have to take that risk of just seeing someone that they find interesting, going to talk to them, and then risk being rejected? Right? If they don't have that sort of barrier, then they never, you know, I think that's maybe a big reason why a lot of us, especially the more entrepreneurial types, could be experiencing this phenomenon where, like, the men, aren't putting it forth any initiative, because They don't have to. Yeah,
I feel that online dating has really put dating on a very superficial level, because what the especially the apps do with the swiping. It's you're going for a dopamine hit. Yes, it is. It's like a video game. Yes, exactly. You go in there, and like with social media, you get a dopamine hit if you got a new match, if you got a new message, but it stays very, very superficial. So that's why I you know dating apps are, if my clients want to use them, it's really at the end of the process, they're very, very there are a lot of other steps that are important beforehand to make sure that online dating doesn't do the superficial you can set up certain systems and strategies like, I call it my security process to make sure that only man passed through that are meeting criteria. But in order to be able to kind of hold up those non negotiables and those boundaries, you gotta be strong in your mindset, in your energetics. You gotta know your values, you gotta be leaning back in your feminine more without the chasing, if that doesn't happen beforehand, and you go on to the date dating apps, you just got A dopamine hit, but not a real match.
When I one person that I like to listen to on YouTube, as he always puts it, you've got to be the right person when the right person shows up
exactly. That's what it is. That's what we tend to forget. We desire to attract someone, but we want to be the match on the same level for this person to fall in love with us. So it's always really about doing our inside work first, and then the right person can't help but show up.
Unknown Speaker 18:38
That's law. Yeah,
Julia Dittman 18:40
I love that. Yeah. That lines up a lot with Feng Shui and our practices. There's a lot of talk about the relationship corner and the love corner, and everyone wants to focus on that corner, but they forget that it's a direct it's a direct line that goes through your holistic health and wellness into self knowledge and wisdom. And if you don't have that access really strong, it's not sustainable. So you can attract you can turn your light on for all of the partnerships and relationships that you want. But how do you keep it turned on. It's by more of that self knowledge and wisdom,
yes, and also I want to add here at least, what my experience shows keeping that light on also means for for us to really anchor in the knowing that it is possible. Because this is one thing that it's like people tell me, Oh, I I'm doing everything to manifest, but I hope, I hope it works well, if I hear that, I can already tell what the problem is. Yes, they are doubting. And because their doubt has been creeping in, they cannot hold the energy long enough. They are not in their knowing, and that's when it it sabotages the energy again.
Yeah, that's showing up big time in this current energy too. It's, it's talking about the iching says you could experience some envy and mistrust along the way
in yourself, almost it could
be mistrust of yourself. And so I think there's, there is that interpersonal aspect of it, like you were saying in our prechat, Julia, there is the external, but it's really an extension of our internal conflict that we have. So it's focusing on the problems rather than the opportunities.
Yeah, Mm, hmm, yeah. And I feel that doubt is is such a it's, it's such a collective energy. Recently, it's been showing up again and again, and it's really something where I feel we can, as I already mentioned in the pre chat, we have this, our humanness, but then we also have our divine part, and so we want to make sure that both parts, our human part, is really anchored in meaning. We're taking great care of our body, our wellness. We're nurturing ourselves, we're making sure we're thinking healthy thoughts, letting our emotions run through, having all the somatic experiences. That's the one part that we like a daily shower. We want to rinse and make sure we anchor in. But on the other hand, there is the this anchoring in of knowing that we're source and that we can tap into everything, and if we forget to do either of those, doubt comes in, and I feel like that's the energy right now that just destroys a lot, and people are not even aware of it. They say, I'm doing everything, but I hope it works.
Do you think that women entrepreneurs in particular are more prone to these challenges for any reason?
Well, I I I do, I do think so. I grew up with a single mom. She's been an entrepreneur her whole life, very successful, very strong, and I took on a lot of her beliefs, gotta be strong, you gotta be independent. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just what I missed, and I what a lot of female entrepreneurs miss is that they can have both. And so it's like, can have the one thing we're just gonna lean in. And then, of course, the the masculine energy comes in, the controlling, the hustling, all of this that brings us even more into the masculine. That makes it harder to make space for a masculine man to come in, because when we're in our masculine energy, we lean forward, and then there is no more inviting for for a man to really come in. And so being an entrepreneur, being independent, having the risks and the fears and all of that, it requires us to be in our masculine but it shouldn't be all of the time, all the time.
Do you have recommendations as far as how to kind of flip that switch, or is it more of a progression. Is there some kind of, you know, is it the matter of of nervous system, you know, activating the parasympathetic nervous system and just relaxing? Or, how do you, how do you look at that?
I love it when we say just relaxing, because it's like, yeah, just relax. And everyone who has been super stressed knows that actually, when you're super stressed, it takes a lot of energy to be stressed, and so a lot of times we don't have that energy. That's why we can't come down. But yes, nervous system relaxation is one of the key. Definitely all of the somatic work, really, because if we stay in this constant fight or flight mode when we're stressed, we first of all, that's not feminine at all. That's masculine energy. And we also cannot open our system and our and our energy to change and to heal. It's like the energy is very constricted, and we want to relax our body. You are also a yoga teacher, right? So you know, we know how important it is to de stress, to relax our nervous system. So this is one important part, and I love all the somatic tools, breath, work, yoga, tapping. And for me, personally, dancing is the best because it gives you the feminine, flowy kind of vibes to tap into. But I always say it's what people resonate with and feel drawn to.
Yeah, that's interesting. So I do like a lot of what you're saying is it's coming up to mine. It's I look for repetitions in lessons that I hear. And I'm working with somebody right now, a massage therapist I'm working with, and she's been encouraging me to do more dance type music movements, which is really hard for me to switch gears out of that. So I would. I'm probably like the well, Emily can attest to this. I'm probably the most challenging client to like, slow down and get into the flow and to do more of that in a flow type of movement, especially with other people. Do you experience that being a common trait for female entrepreneurs,
definitely because dance is like, gotta let go, gotta just give yourself to the flow, open yourself up for creativity. Whatever comes through, it's it can also be very emotional. And so I, you know, when dancing just with your favorite music that lifts you up, when this feels too too much, there's also great like shaking meditations, where the body can relax. And I, what I always advise my clients is to start making a love playlist. I I made myself a love playlist when I was calling in my husband back then, and I just used to dance every day. And you know what the beautiful thing about dancing is, is it doesn't cost any money. You can do it just for five minutes every day. It will give you an immediate mood booster. It will relax your body. And when you allow yourself to even sing with sing along, it will release so much stagnant energy. It's the it can be very healing if we allow ourselves to do it
well, and also too, what I'm hearing Lisa is that you can do it all by yourself, yeah,
yeah, with like, you know, somebody witnessing any of that. I mean, my kids all dance and sing with my kids, and probably in the shower as well too. I love to sing, not dance really, but maybe. But, you know, but with with doing guided thematic work is a challenge for me, but I wonder if that shows up in my relationships as well. I don't know.
So I would actually really encourage you to start dancing five minutes a day by yourself, like use a song first that you really love that gets you moving, and then choose another one that feels like flowy. And just closing your eyes and you will be surprised by the movements your body starts to move. To do. It's got its own rhythm, its own energy, flowing. It's beautiful. I dance between client sessions. I throw a little party, and it's just, I love that it connects you back to source. It just resets your energy.
I twerk in my client sessions.
She does. I.
It definitely counts. You
know what Twerking is? I
was just wondering, no,
it's, it's like, like the booty shaken, but it's, it's shaking, and it's hips and it's sacral shells, yeah, they're always great. Feminine, very feminine.
Yeah, hips are great shake. Those hips definitely.
Well, challenge accepted. I'll do that. I don't know that I can. Actually, I went out dancing on Saturday night, so I can be at with other people dancing like, if it's a group like that. But for some reason, the one on one, like emotional, somatic work, where someone's trying to guide me into it is just idea I have with you. I have a barrier with that. I don't know why, and I try to be really authentic and showing up there, but it, and you would think with my line of work, I should be better at it, but maybe, I mean, there's probably some kind of block there that I'm sure the practitioners would like me to overcome.
I wonder, though, and maybe, you know, Julia correct me if, if I'm wrong here. But I don't think, as long as you practice something like that in some form, I don't, I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it if you're not comfortable doing it like while eye gazing with another person that you you know what I mean there? There's certain, certain boundaries that some people might have that I think are still okay. Yeah, as long as you're, I'm so extra, I mean, you bring in some format that that resonates with you. Because if you're if you're constantly kind of trying to do something to feel authentic in something that just doesn't feel authentic to you, like, then doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose a little bit?
You know that makes sense, yeah, like,
if it just makes me more anxious to gaze into a stranger's eyes while I'm ecstatic dancing doesn't that I mean, can I just do it by myself and still get the same benefits?
I totally agree. There doesn't have to be a block. Like, why do it alone? I don't. I don't dance with anyone here. I never did do it as you like it, unless you feel comfortable. Just do it
so there's nothing wrong with it. Well, that's not wrong with
there might be nothing but that. Yeah, there's probably something undiagnosed there, but, but okay, so five minutes a day, I can do the dancing movement, you know, in my own space, Emily, maybe on a Friday when I come to my work. Yeah, well, and I think with kids too. You know the kids for sure, like the kids are wonderful
to cultivate the joy that we were talking about before in our pre chat and to sort of like, facilitate that. Like, because you're you're way goofy, you, you know, with your kids, you just shut loose and and your energy kind of changes,
and it's oxytocin instead of dopamine. Yeah, yeah. Some of like, the masculine edge off. Do we have to get rid of all of our masculine energy to be attracting of a healthy relationship. No, no, no,
we are always, yes, both, right? You have both. And it's, I'm not I'm I would never say, get rid of your masculine energy. That's, we don't need that we need. We need masculine energy. And the way I like to put it is it can be the frame. It can be the frame, your boundaries, your non negotiables, can be your badass that comes out when someone crosses your boundaries, but inside that frame that makes you feel safe and and comfortable, you can flow in your feminine and that will also really help you in your business. This is something we have talked about before, is the connection between love and business, and how when we allow love in, it always just helps our business, because we show up in a different energy.
Yeah, so true.
We've had that. Yeah, we've had variations of that conversation before about the advantages of being able to bring both the sort of traditional, what you think about traditional business sense, masculine type, energy, but to also be able to tap into that, uh. Feminine as well, which, you know, they could be advantageous in in our business, just like you're saying, yeah,
it's been and I know Julia, we talked a little bit about this too, on on Instagram, and Emily, we talked about this in the podcast. But there's that something about being in a relationship, especially when all the dopamine is high and like the early stages is where everything feels like it's possible, and you're almost like, are just willing to take risk within your business in a in a playful way, because everything is very playful. You know, if we could bottle that, it would be amazing for for business owners to be able to exist in that, you know, that joy and, you know expanse and and that co creative energy. But it's so I think it ties back into our concepts of that, like our future energy that we were looking at for listeners, is really working with that easy progress and that joy, but on the other side of that is, which is, I don't know if it's a direct Other side, but are like the expectations and the boundaries. So how do we bring our relationship expectations and the boundaries that we have into harmony with allowing us to exist in easy progress and joy?
That's a really good question. I love that. And what just came to my mind right away is that, and here comes in the masculine energy plus the feminine is again, where we get really clear on our boundaries, on our on our non negotiables, on our values, but within that concept, we really want to focus on the feeling. And I'm I'm especially talking about not necessarily, but talking about calling in someone, it's when we focus a lot of times too much on the details and on our expectations. And what that does is we fall back into controlling energy, and we don't really leave room for all the ways, and then something shows up, but it's not really what we wanted or and I've had this happen a lot of times with people, including myself. You manifest someone, you attract someone who ticks all the check boxes, right? You say that, but the chemistry is not there or something that really bothers you, the feeling doesn't work. The feeling doesn't align. So it's really about having your non negotiables, like your frame, but then within that, you will allow yourself to focus on the feelings.
Do you think that women often focus on sort of the the less important boxes to tick, so to speak. You know, they want six foot tall, dark and handsome, whatever
that was running through my mind that, like that kind of thing, versus
that you've brought up values several times, and, and, yeah.
And I want to give you an example of my own manifestations once one that I really messed up, um, but it was very accurate. I, I was in my 20s, and I, I dreamt of this man with a Porsche and me driving the two kids, our two kids, to school in the Porsche, and in my manifestation. And I know we are all very powerful manifestors, I got really clear on this, and I manifested this Porsche and the kids and all of this. And then I had. I didn't manifest the kids, but I visualized them. That's the word. I don't have kids. But then I received the man I had. The relationship was very wealthy. He had the poor. She was all there. He wanted the kids. And then I was there. And this was just before. Turning thirdly, I realized that this was something my ego had constructed. I didn't even want kids, I realized, but it took me a very long time, and I realized I don't need the Porsche. I was very unhappy in that relationship, and the same could be if you focus on, you know, the six foot something guy, very tall and trained and all of these things, you manifest that guy, but then you forget about the feelings you got that guy, but there's a vibe that doesn't work, or he's emotionally not available, or he has narcissistic tendencies, or whatever it is. So with my husband, I had three non negotiables, and I said he has to like my dogs, he has to be spiritual, and he has to be willing to move in with me. I'm not moving in with someone. I'm not moving those were the only three non negotiables, and the rest how I wanted to feel with him. And it worked.
I love that. So how do you how do you manifest like the way that you're going to feel in a relationship? Did you use words or did you say how? How did you imprint that?
I danced. You danced.
You're not getting out of this. Lisa, the answer is, dancing.
You're dancing.
We don't have to dance, obviously, but dancing, really, when you pick songs that bring you in an emotional state of feeling love, you know all these when you listen to the love songs, at least for me, and then I'm moving my body, I get into this vibe, and I can just hug the whole world. It's the fastest way to tap into this beautiful energy. Even if we feel shitty, play a song, move your body for five minutes, you'll be totally different person. So what I used mainly, of course, I did mindset work and making sure that my thoughts aligned, but my daily ritual was dancing and just feeling how I wanted to feel. And with these songs in the relationship,
do you still listen to the same soundtrack from? Are you still listening to the same love soundtrack that you dance to? That's part of your everything?
Well, I don't do it daily anymore, but because, well, because I don't do it daily anymore, but I was listening and dancing just before our call, and I just thought, Oh, my God, it's so magical. I want to start doing this again. I have my husband now, but there's so much more to manifest.
Does he know about your soundtrack? Have you? Have you shared that with him? You
know, the funny thing is, my husband is he's amazing, but he he has a horrible taste in music, so he hates the kind of music I love, and this the other way around. And for our wedding, I wanted to play the songs on our on my playlist, of course, because they had so much emotions in them. And he was like, you cannot play these songs. They are horrible.
Unknown Speaker 43:56
Oh,
Julia Dittman 43:59
I thought those are values where I say it's not important for me, we don't need to have the same taste in music, right? The really important things align. And so no, no, no music for the wedding that came from this playlist.
I've also heard recommendations, um, I guess, in particular, when reflecting on, I guess you could say relationships gone wrong, or just just relationships that didn't work out and and moving forward into seeking a new one, do you ever recommend acknowledging what you definitely don't want in a person qualities? And I guess I don't necessarily mean the superficial ones, right? Like he doesn't have a big nose, I don't know. You know. So, but behaviors, characteristics, you know, I don't want somebody who would intentionally Wait, you know, 12 hours to answer a text message or something like that.
So I what I advise is to not put your focus on that. So don't put your focus on what you don't want. Have your non negotiables that you want and check in, rather than saying I don't want this or that, check in how that makes you feel, and do you want that feeling? And then you can tell right away I don't want that feeling. So you keep focusing rather on the feeling than on the specific details. But of course, for for me, for example, there were a few red flags. For example, a chain smoker, it's just not, or someone who was very not, not in tune with their body at all, but then, I'd say, probably wouldn't be attracted to him anyway. So you know, normally, it's just when we get into our mind too much, and we start to think and go back and forth. That's when the energy kind of gets little fizzled out. So we want to stay more in the feeling come back. How does it make me feel?
So if we're if we're talking to our listeners as a whole, what is kind of, and I, I don't love this, like, oh, the number one thing, but what is sort of one thing, one shift, or one thing to implement Today, right now, that um could kind of best change the trajectory of of their dating or or relationship life and outlook.
I love that question. And what came to my mind right away is that I invite you to ask yourself the question, if you could freely choose, if you could create your relationship the way you want it, how would it be? How would it feel? What would you do together? How would he be with you? Really allowing yourself to go into this dream scenario, because it is possible, but only when we allow ourselves to tap into it. And a lot of times we we take third best because we're afraid if we really aim higher, we're just going to be disappointed. But what really happens is, if we don't aim high, we're going to miss out on that big loft,
and if, if you find yourself having reservations about aiming higher, is, is that maybe an indicator? Because you know when you talk about not having that inherent belief that it's it's there for you, like, maybe on the surface, because a lot of us, especially women, who are entrepreneurs, I mean, we are very confident generally. And, you know, we do believe in ourselves, uh, in so many ways, um, you know, but so it may not resonate at a conscious level that like, oh, I don't believe that that's out there for me, but if you find yourself having reservations about aiming high, would you say that is an indicator that that maybe you do Have this inherent lack of belief that's under the surface that that is worth exploring.
Definitely there's and I don't want to shoot because there are different options here, different possibilities. But when we don't want to aim high. Okay, there is some part of resistance. Could be a subconscious belief that tells us it's safer to not aim high, because we're gonna get disappointed. It's not gonna happen anyway or and this happens a lot of times too, is we're really afraid, what if we get it and then we lose it again? And
then, you know what came to mind when you both you were describing and I hear this a lot in the entrepreneur circles and within our listeners as well too. Is being in relationships that are breadcrumb relationships, because a female in particular, I mean, any business owner really is so busy and so, you know, has so much going on, has some oftentimes, has enough wholeness within themselves, but in the relationship wise, they're comfortable with the breadcrumbs versus breadcrumbing, meaning minimal effort. Yeah, how does how does that appear?
I'm gonna just take a guess and say that they are not really comfortable with the breadcrumbs. It's It's just what feels safe to them in that moment, or what feels possible. So it could could go either to the way of I'm trying, really to avoid the pain, the discomfort here, because I've got to be strong in my business. I've got to function. I've got to hold everything up. I cannot, can't stop I can't risk, you know, being hurt and not not functioning for my business, for my kids, for for the work I do, my clients, there's a lot of that. And on the other hand, there again, there, there, there can also be or this could go hand in hand, the belief that this relationship or this man doesn't actually exist, that it doesn't exist, and that what, what I'm telling here is just bullshit.
I really resonated to going back a little bit to this idea of like, well, I'm just gonna lose this concern that you're just gonna lose it again and that. So how, how would you guide somebody to mitigate that feeling that always of like waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know, like waiting waiting for the rug to get pulled out from under you? Because that's just what happens. Like this is too good to be true. That you know that whole
how I do work with my clients on that is, first of all, nervous system regulation, when we feel that, when we have that fear 100% is our body tense. We don't feel safe. So we want to start feeling safe in our body first to opening up for some deeper work. And a lot of times, we go back here into childhood memories where there were certain events that happened that, you know, really instilled that, that belief that it can get good, that this could be one example, then I'll always say some subconscious reprogramming is really Good to clear these old beliefs. That's one part. But the other part is, how do you lose that fear? Is by being okay, that it can just be taken away. That's the only way to lose the fear is to allow yourself to go and feel it, imagine it, until you feel like you can't breathe anymore, and you hold it in your body, and you will see that the fear will disappear, the body Feeling will disappear, and with it comes the peace and the knowing that you will overcome this. You can overcome anything, and that it is safe. This may sound crazy now if you haven't experienced it, but if you, if any of you have gone through these extreme you. And this is guided by the way. I'm not saying just go and go and visualize the worst, right? But it really is. How can you let go of the fear as you you go in it and you you feel, or you experience that you come out stronger And with so much peace. And that's when you have the emotional capacity to hold it. That's when you know you'll be okay no matter what, and that's when you'll attract the guy who will not do that to you, because you're not afraid of it anymore. You don't have resistance to that, to that pain anymore. So that's some deep work to do, if you if you feel this, but deep in the sense of deep, inward,
the idea of neutrality, Lisa, that we've done an episode on a while back, being, you know, you, of course, are a human being. You want a certain outcome and and you have passion and take action towards it, but you're, you're okay with any outcome. Yeah, it sounds
easy, and I think it transcends over into business too. So when you have that anxiety of the shoes always going the other shoes going to drop all the time, it translates over into the lack mentality into your business as well. If you're a business owner or a thought leader, you know it's, it's, and I think there's probably a million quotes around this that I've seen, and I am going to misquote it, but, you know, maybe Julia, you've seen these quotes. It might be Rumi that quotes it, but like around the concept of love, even though you know it's going to end, or everything, everything is going to end, but love anyway, like with with everything that you have. And that's not Rumi, I just butchered it, but there is a quote around that somebody said it that was terrible. No one quote me on that. But you know, if we always love with an ounce of fear. Then we're holding our ourselves back, and then we're the breadcrumbner and that then I love that I have breadcrumb a
similar quote that came to my mind. It doesn't this too shall pass. It's not as I like to use it in times where it's challenging. I say it to myself, but I also use it in times where it feels really good, because this too shall pass, and it's something that no we should just be aware of, makes us stay in the moment.
Yeah, I like that. Everything positive,
yeah. I mean, it's all even, even endings are beautiful, end of end of life, end of seasons. If you look at nature and the cycle of things, there's beauty in that. But there's Yeah, that's I like, I like that this too shall pass, feels very like seasonality, like there's still that cycle imagery within that. Yes, yeah, beautiful. I want to leave our listeners with positive, positivity that you've injected and shared Julia with this right on the other end of the future energy coming out of the culture, and is that easy progress and that joy? So it's really I want to just, and you said it more beautifully, but really, just keep tuning into that joy, that higher vibration, you know, whether you get to it from dancing or singing or music. And I love, I love the playlist idea, but to really exist in that easy progress. Because I think, myself included being a female business owner is really having that attachment to over complicating everything.
There's gotta be a block, right? No, right.
So existing more in that flow that when you say femininity, it doesn't mean that I'm, you know, necessarily glammed up every day, but the femininity in terms of flow and ease and receiving
and playfulness, playfulness, playful.
The. And and attracting that partner that allows a safe space for that. Or Emily, if we're ever involved in an eye gazing circle, that's hopefully, no, it's not
happening. Strategically, partner up so that we we don't have to participate.
Yeah, Julia, we had a we had an incident many years ago, like upon our first meeting, where we were in a full a full moon ceremony, and it involved a lot of this energetic play, which we love, and emotions and so on and so forth. But we had to do an eye gazing exercise with someone for a long time, we were tricked. It's burned into our memories. Yeah, it was, it was, yeah, not our forte. People do that very well and it works for them, but I think it's finding what works for you
exactly, exactly. That's what it is. Not every tool, not every practice, has to be for everyone. That's why there are so many.
Yeah, I love that. And and Julia, we're so excited you're going to be coming over here soon for your honeymoon. Congratulations again on your marriage, yeah. So she's, she'll be over here in the US doing a little honeymoon tour, so we may cross. So
you're newly married, Okay,
last year, we got married a year ago, and we, we postponed the honeymoon
year. Great. Yes,
I'm, I'm really excited to do the honeymoon tour. Are
you coming to Florida or going? Where are you going?
Um, we're gonna fly into DC and then do West Virginia, obviously, and then go down. We'll do a little road trip down. I love that, that trip east coast down, and then we'll come down to Florida. I have a friend in Ormond Beach, and then we'll finish off in tilago.
Cool. I should pop over to New Orleans while you're while you're all the way here.
Yeah, I really want to go, but I think I'm gonna go next year on my own for a little bit longer.
Yeah, yeah. I love that. Yeah. That's gonna be really you're still existing. You look so much more like you know, you look like you're existing in that state of love, and still have that glow about you. So it's so nice to see that, and it's inspiring to hear that you've overcome a lot of your challenges and what you've witnessed in, you know, growing up with a single mom and witnessing all the sides of dating and business, owning and then being able to share your wisdom and knowledge and experience with everybody on Instagram. Anybody listening, I highly recommend that you follow Julia. We're going to share her information in the description and Julia, we do have a Facebook group. It's closed in private. It is a conscious collaboration collective where a lot of our listeners have joined us. It's again, close to private, so it's a safe space to talk, for people, to ask questions, to share and to continue the conversation that we started here today, that I think a lot of people are really going to be keyed into. And so we would love to have you join us there, if you are on that platform. But Julia, is it safe? Is it best for people to reach out to you through your Instagram?
Yes, definitely reach out via Instagram to me that that's the one I check daily.
Perfect. Yes. And so we'll make sure that information is there for you all listening and any last anything that's coming to your mind intuitively that you'd like to leave our listeners with today, any insights or anything,
just on the last note, I For everyone who has been listening and been, you know, thinking along, I want to really guide you and invite you back to come away from your mind and into your body and into your feelings again. It's the one shift, if you just take that one piece to come back to your feelings and your body, and drop the energy down from your head into the body. That's the one thing that will really help you anchor in to your guidance the most. So I invite you to do that right now. So.
Wonderful. Thank you so much. It's been so great having you join us. Emily, any last words from you? I'm sure this highly resonated with you in terms of the body and the movement and for
sure, for sure, that's why I'm I'm always moving around. It might not look like, you know, the ecstatic dance party, but I'm always trying to be in my body, because, as as my daughter puts it, my mind has a mind of its own. It's like, wow, brains on brains on brains. So, yeah, I know, I know we were talking, it's, it's cute. I'll take a little detour here. But she, we were talking about astrology. She's kind of gotten into it a little bit. And she's, she's a Virgo sun, and her moon and her rising are both in Gemini and so we were talking about how, you know, Virgos and Geminis were, but I'm a Gemini as well. We're both ruled by Mercury. And we were kind of talking about how the thoughts keep us up at night sometimes. And she says, Yeah, my mind has a mind of its own. And I was like, I feel that deep. So yes, getting getting into my body is, is very important in a daily practice in some kind of way.
Yeah, I love that. You should write these down. What she says is, so that's so smart. And I noticed when both of you talk to about, like, really dropping into the body from the mind you you even lower your resonance in your voice. So, you know, felt like very much more grounded, you know. And I know a lot of the air signs of us out there, we're all up here, it's really finding that way to, like, stay grounded and connected. So thank you. Thank you both for this. It's been lovely to have you, Julia, we'd love to have you back, and we're cheering you on, and we you know, we hope to talk with you again. I know we'll continue the conversation behind the scenes. Thank you to everybody, listeners at home, who support us. Thank you for subscribing and for sharing with your friends, and we hope to see you inside of the collective so we'll talk to you in five. Thanks,
guys, talk to you in five. Bye, bye.