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Show Notes:
We are finishing re-sharing a "Blast from the Past" series that I did back in Season 1 of Behind the Line. It was one of my favourite series and I think really important content for those who may have missed it the first time. The series takes a look at Brené Brown's work in her book, Dare to Lead, and discusses applications to helping professions where it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that we improve leadership and systems, because they are hella broken. I hope you'll share this series with your sphere of influence and that together we can make it different...
This episode included some time-based events that have now ended.
…And that’s a wrap! Today’s episode wraps up our series following Brené Brown’s work from her book, Dare to Lead. This episode includes the bits and pieces we skipped over along the way for the sake of time, as well as some thoughts to tie together the concepts from the book with the interviews with T.C. Randall and Jennifer Pound, as well as with general applications in a front line work pace and environment.
This episode included some time-based events that have now ended.
…And that’s a wrap! Today’s episode wraps up our series following Brené Brown’s work from her book, Dare to Lead. This episode includes the bits and pieces we skipped over along the way for the sake of time, as well as some thoughts to tie together the concepts from the book with the interviews with T.C. Randall and Jennifer Pound, as well as with general applications in a front line work pace and environment.
Concerns & Applications – I encourage you to listen to hear some of the feedback and concerns I’ve heard from listeners throughout this series and my thoughts on how we work to apply these conceptual level skills to the very real and challenging work on the front lines.
Episode Challenge:
Having listened to this series, what is one step you can take in our workplace to grow in your daring leadership? What are you willing to commit to and how does it align with your values and the leader you want to be? …Remember, “who you are is how you lead.”
Additional Resources:
If you haven’t yet, check out the free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help you self-assess your experiences and exposure to burnout. Use this tool as information as you get honest with yourself about the impacts you have experienced – and start considering telling the story of your resilience as someone who has invested in their own wellness by looking into our Beating the Breaking Point Training Program designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers. You can grab the free indicators checklist here, and learn more about the training program here.
As discussed in todays’ episode, check out Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. You may also enjoy some of her other books, including Rising Strong; Braving the Wilderness; and Daring Greatly. These are some of my favourite books for personal development and wellness. She has a couple of other books that are also excellent, but if you’re new to her work, these are the ones I would highly suggest starting with.
Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!
Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.
Creators and Guests
What is Behind The Line?
Created for First Responders and Front Line Workers to tackle the challenges of working on the front lines. Dig into topics on burnout, workplace dynamics, managing mental health, balancing family life...and so much more. Created and hosted by Lindsay Faas, clinical counsellor and trauma therapist. View the show notes, and access bonus resources at https://my.thrive-life.ca/behind-the-line.
Hey everybody, and welcome back to Behind the Line.
I’m your host Lindsay Faas. If you are new to Behind the Line, what you should know about me is that I am a clinical counsellor specializing in trauma therapy, and after years working with First Responders and Front Line Workers around issues like burnout, compassion fatigue, PTSD and related OSI’s, I have become a passionate wellness advocate and educator for those who sacrifice so much for our communities out on the front lines. Behind the Line is a place for us to talk about the real life behind the scenes challenges facing you on the front lines. I created this podcast with the hope of bringing easy access to skills for wellness – allowing you to find greater sustainability, both on the job and off.
Believe it or not, today marks nine weeks that we have been working through the idea of daring leadership connected to Brene Brown’s work from her book, Dare to Lead. We have talked through the main concepts, and we have talked to a couple of incredibly brave front lines workers who shared their own perspectives on the challenges facing those within the system and their ideas on daring leadership as we work to change the system from the inside out. It has been a journey friends, and I have so loved and appreciated the feedback along the way. Thank you so much to those who have taken the time to reach out and share the ways that this series has been helpful or challenging – hearing from you is a huge motivator to keep showing up week after week and broaching these topics.
Today we are wrapping up this series on leadership, although it’s a topic I am very sure we will hit on again and again. There were a few pieces from Dare to Lead that I skipped over a bit due to time constraints in previous episodes that I felt were important and deserved some air time – so I am going to spend some time today circling back to those. I also want to take time to tie everything we have learned together and really anchor it into the work you do within the systems you find yourselves and the challenges you’re facing. My hope is that this episode will be the intersection between the conceptual learning of the first several episodes and the feedback we heard from our guests these last two weeks on the very real and personal implications of the broken system for those showing up on the front lines. I want us to pull it all together and feel like we walk away from this series with a plan to keep up the good fight as our rag-tag rebel alliance.
Before we jump in, I also want to let you know about a few fun things coming up. First, this week we are running a social media contest with a fun prizes that we’ll draw for. If you haven’t yet, find me on facebook and Instagram @LindsayAFaas and follow the contest rules to enter. We want your help to spark ideas for upcoming episodes, your support in sharing this podcast with those you know, and in exchange we’ll enter you to win a little something something. Second, I am so excited to announce that we will be running the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge again starting at the end of June. The feedback after the first time offering it was so incredibly positive, and we’ve had a number of you sign up on the waitlist that we decided now is the time to run it again. What a great way to step into summer! Registration for the Self-Care Dare will open on Tuesday June 15th – mark it in your calendars to sign up, or hop over to our podcast webpage right now and sign up for our waitlist and you’ll get early access to register. The actual 5 day challenge will kick off June 29th and includes daily videos walking you through 5 key domains of self-care, bonus worksheets and resources to help your personalize an action plan, access to a private facebook group where we will connect, problem solve and celebrate, and prizes to keep you motivated along the way. You can learn more at my.thrive-life.ca/behind-the-line or just google Behind the Line Lindsay Faas.
Ok, let’s finish this series on Daring Leadership strong! To recap for a minute, in episode 19, which was the first episode in the daring leadership series, we summarized Brene’s key concepts, and I want to make sure these are really anchored for you so here they are one more time:
Brene defines leadership as, “anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who had the courage to develop that potential.” Connected to this and broken down throughout her book…which if you haven’t yet purchased it you should, you’ll find a link in the show notes…are 3 pre-requisites identified by her research that are at the heart of daring leadership.
“You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck.”
She says that courage involves 4 key skills sets that we worked to break down throughout this series. These are: rumbling with vulnerability; living into our values; braving trust; and learning to rise.
“Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead.”
“Courage is contagious. To scale daring leadership and build courage in teams and organizations, we have to cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations, and whole hearts are the expectations, and armor is not necessary or rewarded.”
Now, let’s hold up a second here and talk about armor. One of the pieces I skipped over for the sake of time a few weeks back is a list that Brene includes that differentiates qualities of armored leadership versus daring leadership. I think that this list is really helpful, and I’ve included a link in the show notes if you want to take a look for yourself…or again, buy the dang book because obviously everyone should own it and re-read it annually…wait…is that not normal? Ok here’s a quick run down of the list:
(refer to pages 76 & 77 in book)
Good right? Aren’t you glad we’re circling back? Ok, here’s another piece I skipped over and promised to come back to, because I know it’s an area a lot of people struggle with. It’s the topic of feedback, and I LOVE that Brene offers some concrete resources for navigating the tricky terrain of giving and receiving feedback in workplace team settings. Again, I’ve got links for you keeners who want to see it in black and white and you can find it as always in the show notes on our podcast website my.thrive-life.ca/behind-the-line.
Brene identifies that we need to be in the right headspace to GIVE feedback as well as the right headspace to RECEIVE feedback if we want it to be effective, useful and constructive for the sake of the people involved, the team as a whole and our collective goals. Are you ready?
When it comes to being the GIVER of feedback, Brene outlines 10 key criteria to check myself against before proceeding, here they are:
___ I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
___ I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).
___ I’m ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.
___ I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes.
___ I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges.
___ I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming.
___ I am open to owning my part.
___ I can genuinely thank someone for their efforts rather than criticize them for their failings.
___ I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity.
___ I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.
Now, I want you to take just a moment to imagine what it would feel like to receive feedback from someone who has put in the time and effort to walk this process in themselves before addressing feedback with you. When leaders put in the work to hold themselves to a standard, it creates the space for those they lead to feel seen, heard, known and valued, even in the process of uncomfortable yet brave conversations. It changes the game at it’s core. We’re not just paying lip service to “caring about our people”, we are actually showing measurable care for our people in how we engage them from the small stuff to the big stuff. If these kinds of questions and criteria were common practice in the spectrum of workplace interactions, the degree of respect, care and wellness would invariably be enhanced. This is what we’re talking about when we talk about change from the inside out. And to some extent it’s what you heard from both TC Randall as well as Jenn Pound – what was missing for them, throughout their careers as well as in the moments where they were in the greatest state of need, was leadership showing up and giving an actual damn. If we have leaders who choose to show up in the small stuff, working intentionally to walk through this kind of criteria and ensuring their personal capacity to hold space for the person they are about to engage in feedback, the trickle out effect from there to the bigger, harder stuff would have significantly positive consequences for the current state of the system and those it is taking out in mass mental and emotional casualties.
Brene also addresses how to receive feedback, however she addresses this in a less systematized way, in part because the receiver of feedback doesn’t generally get the same lead-time to know what is coming and it isn’t their responsibility to lead the process. That said, as receivers of feedback we do have responsibility to ourselves, and she identifies that the primary concern in receiving feedback is, “how do we stay aligned with our values while we’re receiving feedback, regardless of the skill of the person delivering it?” She clarifies that regardless of how well the person offering feedback does or doesn’t do, we need to value that feedback is part of the process of mastery, and that we need to work at making it meaningful for us even if it is poorly delivered. She offers a couple of her own thoughts on the matter, her own tricks to navigate hearing hard things in hard moments from people who may not always have the best skills. She talks about a few mantra’s she rehearses on repeat in her mind during these interactions, phrases like, “I’m brave enough to listen”; or, “There’s something valuable here. Take what works and leave the rest”; or, “This is the path to mastery”; or finally, “These people care about this as much as I do.” Brene reminds that when receiving feedback we need to work to stay present and avoid defensiveness – this involves using many of the skills we have talked about in other parts of this podcast to help us ground, regulate our emotions and stay open to being learners rather than knowers…even if what we’re working to learn it the other persons perspective. Our goal is to listen, be curious, and integrate feedback as well as hold accountability for what is ours. This is the thick of courage in vulnerability.
As we’ve navigated this series, two areas of concern showed up repeatedly in the feedback I received from many of you as it relates to practicing these skills within first response and front line work contexts. I bet you can guess them and likely they’ve been on your mind as you’ve been listening.
The first one is, “that all sounds well and good Lindsay, but you obviously have no idea the pace we are facing in our work. There is no time for these kinds of conversations, no time to train our people to collectively adapt to this kind of stance, no time to invest in the wellness of our people.” My answer to this one is Yep. I know, the pace is intense. But that speaks to a systemic problem, doesn’t it? That so many of the workplaces we’re talking about are continually facing budget challenges that lead to staffing shortages, as well as staff burnout that leads to further staffing shortages – resulting in those who are left carrying more of the load than is reasonable to expect. I know that pace is a HUGE obstacle to work around in trying to apply some of what we’ve talked about in this series, but it is also exactly why we need to work at implementing these pieces. If we were to make even small changes in the ways we prioritize care for one another, care for our people in the work, we could potentially reduce the rate of burnout and improve the rate of return from a leave – supporting more effective staffing. Even better, if we could make even small changes to how we value our people, we could learn from them. We could be open to collaboration, hearing their voices about what it is like to be on the front lines and we could allow this to more effectively inform decisions that are being made higher up the chain.
All that said, I want to throw in a couple of reminders: change is gradual; we’re playing a long game; and the real opportunity for systemic transformation lives in you growing up into positions of greater influence without selling out your front line values when confronted with the upper echelons of the system. When implementing the daring leadership strategies in your workplace, pace yourself and your expectations. Join with others for support, encouragement and anchoring to why it matters. And last but not least, care for yourself – you are not easily replaced and we need you. We need people like you who care deeply for the community to be present and doing the work, so be intentional about stewarding yourself as a resource, care for yourself and ensure your wellbeing.
The second concern that I’ve heard a lot is, “this won’t work where I work.” And the rationale I’ve been given is that it’s just too broken. Leadership is so broken so far up the ladder that it feels completely hopeless to even attempt to tackle it. What I can say about this one is, I hear you. I’m not new to this feedback, I hear it all the time from clients I work with around occupational stress injuries. Consistently OSI’s rarely result explicitly from the calls alone – more commonly it is the cumulative stress of the calls over time intertwined with the extraordinarily complex nature of the workplace itself. It’s the getting it on all sides that overwhelms our system. There is no safe place to land. I’m going to echo a few pieces I just shared related to the pace concern: we’re playing a long game and in that long game you are one of the greatest assets to a movement to shift the system. It’s a bit like being a covert spy – we need emotionally informed people who care to shift mental health and wellness within the system to rise through the ranks and grow access to power to be able to grow influence and really scale transformation. That said, it starts here. It starts with being in our integrity, living into our values, showing up bravely to rumble in the arena and modelling that this is who we choose to be. These pieces in small ways inform a culture and encourage others to meet in this space too. Inform one another about OSI’s, check in on one another, care about one another, support one another and together we can reach something greater than any one of us can alone. Remember, Brene says, “Who we are is how we lead” and “courage is contagious”. I will also echo that in workplaces where it feels too far gone, caring for yourself is vital. And my last comment about this area of concern is don’t get caught up in guilt and shame if you need to take a step back or a step away. Like I said before, you are the greatest asset to this movement, but you can’t be if you’re not ok. Your wellbeing is of paramount importance. If your wellbeing needs some time away from the work, take it. If your wellbeing needs to change gears and go to a different department or follow a different path, do it. Never regret prioritizing you.
I’m going to add one more area of concern that weighs heavy on my mind, given the work I do and particularly following the last two interviews with TC Randall and Jenn Pound. The cost of leadership that fails to dare, is so incredibly high. It is high for the workers who are suffering from occupational stress injuries; it is high for the workplaces that lose highly qualified staff; and it is high for the communities who rely on the highly qualified members of teams on the front lines. Both TC and Jenn shared stories that included a key component – isolation. Forget for a minute the decades they spent in their careers, facing all that they faced in one of Canada’s busiest ER’s and on Canada’s largest homicide investigation team respectively, after managing all of that in a context that failed to support them or even identify that they were struggling when it became apparent – they took leaves and no one reached out. No one engaged with human concern. They were left to fend for themselves, advocating while suffering, navigating tremendous hurdles blindly and with minimal support…and when someone finally did reach out, it was to ask, “when are you coming back to work?” We need to be concerned about this – this is what I’m talking about when I talk about the mental and emotional casualties of the system. It has to change, we have to change it, because what it is right now is so completely unacceptable.
Here’s where you can make a difference: you can check in on your team. Similar to the telephone chains of the good ole’ days, I have seen front line teams create a similar check-in chain. Each person is assigned a person or a couple of people within the team to check in with on a semi-regular basis. You don’t have to be best friends, and you don’t have to carry each other’s baggage and engage in lengthy debriefs – your job is just to touch base, show an interest, invest some care, engage in some random acts of kindness to build each other up and shine a light on the goodness in the world. Whether the people are at work or off on a leave, the assignment remains the same. Next, check in with yourself. One of the pieces that resonated from both TC and Jenn’s stories was leaving it too long. Not knowing what to look for, not seeing the signs sooner, and then crashing hard when it all hit like a ton of bricks. One of my best pieces of advice is to schedule a time, every other month or quarterly, to go grab your favourite coffee, find a quiet spot somewhere and have a ponder. Take time to reflect on how you’re doing. Use our Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help guide your check in process if this helps structure it a bit for you. It can also be helpful to use this as a comparative piece, you can see if you are ranking at a similar, better or worse place than the last time you did a check-in, and this can help alert you to what may need some attention before you hit crash and burn. Last but not least, don’t shy away from help. I know there is stigma and pride and uncertainty about where to go and the processes involved, but do your best to find someone who you connect with who can support you in sustaining your wellness in a line of work where no one comes out unscathed.
Before we wrap up today, I want to thank you for being on this ride with me through this series and this podcast as a whole. I hope that you have been able to connect with others within your workplace to support one another in considering the way forward in your unique system, and I hope that today’s episode helps to anchor that as you go forward. I’ve said before that I know that some of the broken pieces are just so very, very broken and that for some, the processes outlined in this series sound wonderful but so hard to apply with limited power to influence and shape the higher-up broader problems that leech down. Remember to start with you. Start with your immediate team. Stand united in your valuing of one another and grow from there. As you continue in your journey with this process, I would love to hear from you and know what you’ve found helpful or challenging. You can reach out by email or on social media – you can find all of my contact details in the show notes on our podcast website. Please do check out the show notes today for links to some of Brene’s free resources mentioned in this episode, they are really helpful, and if you are interested in snagging a copy of the book you can find a link to that too. Next week we are changing gears and kicking off a new series on front line families. We will be talking about the impact of front line work on partnering, parenting, engaging as a family and the toll over time. And you know me, I like all the practical, so we’re not just going to point to all the problems, we are going to work to give you some practical tools to bridge the gap between work and home, support the transition for you and your family, and give you some skills to support your family because at the end of the day, I know that you do so much of what you do is for them. As I mentioned earlier, we’re also starting to prepare to re-launch the self-care dare 5 day challenge – so if you haven’t go sign up on our waitlist on our podcast webpage (https://www.my.thrive-life.ca/behind-the-line). You can also find it by googling Behind the Line Lindsay. Looking forward to reconnecting soon. Until next time, stay safe.