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Welcome to How to Retire on Time, a show that answers your questions about all things retirement, including income, taxes, Social Security, healthcare, and more. This show is an extension of the book How to Retire on Time, which you can grab today on Amazon or by going to www.howtoretireontime.com.
This show is intended for those within 10 years of their target retirement date or for those are are currently retired and are concerned about their ability to stay retired.
Welcome to How to Retire on Time, a show that answers your questions about all things retirement, including income taxes, Social Security, health care, and more. This show is an extension of the book How to Retire on Time, which you can grab today on Amazon or by going to www.how to retire on time.com. My name is Mike Decker. I'm the author of the book How to Retire on Time, but I'm also a licensed financial adviser, insurance agent, and tax professional, which means when it comes to financial topics, we can pretty much talk about it all. Now that said, please remember this is just to show, everything you hear should be considered informational, as in not financial advice.
Mike:If you want personalized financial advice, then request your wealth analysis from my team today by going to www.yourwealthanalysis.com. With me in the studio today is my esteemed colleague, mister David Fransen. David, thanks for being here today.
David:Yeah. Thank you for having me. It's fun as always.
Mike:Yeah. Now this is a special episode. We're we're in the holiday season. Christmas is right around the corner. And so instead of me trying to answer your questions, the questions that David reads off, we're gonna talk about charity.
Mike:We're gonna talk about the purpose of Christmas. And if you're not Christian, that's okay. I think we're all human, last I checked. And charity is a big part of of the holiday season. So, David, I I don't think you've ever heard the story, but I wanted to start with a very specific story because I think it lends to the very purpose of why we're having this conversation.
Mike:Years ago, this was shortly after I was in high school living up in Seattle, you know, over over a decade, 15, 20 year. Gosh. It's time flies. But I, I did a weird social experiment. I did not tell anyone I was doing this.
Mike:My family had no idea. But I I got some old kind of ragged clothes that just didn't they they didn't fit right. They weren't up style. You know, put a beanie on. This is in the middle of, of winter in Seattle.
Mike:And if you're unaware, Seattle's had a homeless problem for many, many years. And so I then went to Pike Place Market, a very crowded place, and I walked around as if I were homeless. I tried to appear homeless. So my beard wasn't really well manicured. My hair was kind of messed up, you know, when I was we're not wearing a bikini and all that.
Mike:I really tried to appear homeless just to see how other people would react to me. I wanted to get into the position of in need. Okay. Walked around for a while and and, you know, I it it was fine. It wasn't anything profound.
Mike:But I noticed people, they didn't know what to do with me. It was very interesting. And then I made a little signs. I found some cardboard. I got a pen and I wrote, don't need money or a place to say just a friend.
Mike:Think of that for a second. We assume what people need. And I wrote on there like, don't need money. Don't need a place to stay. I just want a friend.
Mike:Just a conversation. Just wanna connect with someone. At the very basic level, all humans want to connect with other humans. We get lonely. Especially, I think, in the holiday season.
Mike:And I sat there just on the corner of, one of the streets here at Pike Place Market, and it was so interesting. People would read the sign. They would not make eye contact with me. And you could see them the the they would just there was a feeling of, I don't know how to help this person. I know how to talk.
Mike:I know how to have conversation. But what would I talk about? Would I help them? Would it start with a conversation? And then would they then turn around and and ask for beg for money?
Mike:Would I be guilted into something? Because of the ambiguity, you I and I did this for I was there for a couple of hours holding this sign. People had no idea how to what what to do in that situation. I mean, David, if you saw that, what would you do? Honestly.
Mike:Honestly. Yeah.
David:You know, honestly, yeah, I was thinking I was trying to imagine what you looked like in a situation and what I would do. I honestly, like, I probably like, it's so easy to just reach out and give someone a $5 bill or whatever, but, like, if if they just needed a friend, I would probably just keep walking. I would've kept walking because I would've, in the moment, been, like, how do I be your friend right now? I'm I'm I'm here to shop or do whatever. It's I would have kept walking.
Mike:Yeah. How long would it take? What would we talk about? Would it be uncomfortable? Would it would it
David:end up in
Mike:an argument? Am I mentally unstable? Here was the biggest takeaway that I realized. I believe humans are inherently good. I know that's Mhmm.
Mike:That's an opinion and and it'd be really fun to debate that at any point. But I believe humans to their core are good. But we struggle to be able to support other people because we are so scared of being taken advantage of or manipulated. Anything all humans sell. The idea of of sales, you know, if I need money, I'm I'm I'm homeless.
Mike:I'm selling you an idea that I I need something. Right? That's that's technically within sales. And it was so profound. It really changed my my paradigm of how the world really works.
Mike:So we we do want good. We do want others to be taken care of. But we don't know how to solve these problems or how to act. And I'm talking more specifically on an individual level. And so, when I think back and like why we're doing this show.
Mike:Why we're talking about charity. It's not that we want to or don't want to. I think most all humans want to help other people. It's that we don't know how. Would you agree, David, or would you disagree?
David:No. I I I do think that we we sometimes don't know how. I mean, you might even some people might be listening right now, and they might have, like, a brother or sister that they haven't spoken with in, like, a decade or 20 years or more that they don't know how to help because maybe the other the sibling has, I don't know, some kind of problem. Right? Either it's mental health or substance abuse or or maybe it's not even that, terrible.
David:Maybe maybe they just don't have a they haven't been good at their finances and they struggle financially. Whatever it may be, they and people are kinda like, well, how can I help? I have my own problems. Right? I'm just getting by by myself. I can't help someone else.
Mike:Yeah. So in spirit of today's show, I I wanna take the next 10 minutes or so and talk about ways that you can create a genuine connection with another. Like how to let someone else feel heard, to not feel lonely. And what that what does that look like? Couple of techniques that you can use with your own with your kids or your parents or the grandkids or friends within your community to feel that that human connection that we all desire so much.
Mike:We do have a couple of special guests and charities that will be highlighting later on in the show. We've got Tammy Reid, which will be great to get her on the phone. Flourish Furniture Bank, we're gonna be talking about as well and and a few other things. But this is just a a show about charity and how to connect with people, how to support people in all the different ways. And because this is a financial show, let me just quickly identify charitable gifting is a good thing, at least on an emotional level.
Mike:The standard deduction is so high that if you give to a charity, there's a good chance that it actually won't benefit your tax situation. You don't make money by giving money away. So I don't want to assume that, hey, give money because it's a tax saving strategy. You don't give a dollar to get 30¢ back or 25¢ back or whatever it is, in your situation. But, you gift because it's it's helpful.
Mike:Let's talk about the human connection. So you ever met someone when you you tell them something that's interesting? No. Hey. I like for example, I love to barbecue.
Mike:I've got a big green egg and I think it's quite a lot of fun. You mentioned something like that and they immediately say, oh, I love the barbecue too and they make it all about them. You you ever met someone like that, David?
David:Yes.
Mike:It's it's one of the most interesting things because that's what we do. We believe that we can relate to people by telling them about us. No one cares. I'm a tell you right now. No one actually cares until they understand how much you care.
Mike:That's a cliche expression in the self help industry, but here's what to do. If you go home and you do this over the holiday season, do this in Christmas. Just pay attention to someone and just ask them questions. It will be incredible how much of a connection. How much they will feel heard probably for the first time in a long time.
Mike:Here's what you do. It's real simple. Help you go do this over Christmas or if you don't celebrate Christmas in the holiday season. But ask them an open question. Now I define a question as in something that you're inquiring about that you actually don't know the answer to.
Mike:So if it's a leading question, it's not really a question you're manipulating someone. You don't wanna do that. Ask them a genuine question. Start with safe, you know. Hey.
Mike:I'm just curious, like, as we reflect over the year, like, what's kind of been some highlights over the year? Or you just say what's going on with life? You know, update me. What's what's with the news? And then whatever they say, don't say, oh, that's great or that's terrible or that's sad.
Mike:That's a judgment. You wanna avoid that. What you wanna do is you wanna say, why is that? How come? So, David, let's just use you as a case study here.
Mike:Okay. David, what are you looking forward to in the holiday season? That's an open question. I don't have a clue what you're gonna say, actually.
David:Yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to just, like, being at home with with all the kids. They're gonna be out of school and and, just, like, hanging out with them, watching Christmas movies. That's what I'm looking forward to.
Mike:So I could now ask David questions in this example about movies, about Christmas movies, about his kids, about just being at home as opposed to traveling somewhere else. And so let's just let's go down the path. You know, what what is it that you enjoy doing with your kids? I have no idea what he's gonna say. And he's probably gonna stutter a little bit.
Mike:Not I mean, I have to do time to think about it because you know the question, but that's a thoughtful question. It is gonna have to go back and actually think about it. That question on a chemical level starts to create, I believe it's serotonin and norepinephrine. These are chemicals that are they they're feel good chemicals. And when you feel these interacting with another person, you're building a genuine connection.
Mike:You're feeling heard. So just for fun, let's complete it. What what is it that you look forward to doing with your kids?
David:You know, maybe it's cliche, but I just I I I grew up going to the movies a lot with with my mother. So I like going to the movies with my kids. It's fun.
Mike:What makes it so fun? Like, what is it about the movies that
David:for you that makes it
Mike:so fun?
David:Yeah. It's something out of the ordinary. It's not something we do all the time. And so you're out. You're eating popcorn, you know, like, that that replaces our meal.
David:Like, let's have popcorn for lunch or dinner or whatever. And so I'm just you're just there's like a little bit of sort of being bad. Although, hey, there's a lot of fiber in popcorn. Right? Never mind all the salt and butter on there, but Yeah.
David:It's just like the the smell of that and just sitting in the big recliners, and so you're you're just doing something out of the ordinary. It feels kinda luxurious a little bit. Right? It's like a splurge, and, and then you're just transported away. We don't have to think about homework or, you know, whatever's in the yard that needs to be picked up.
David:No. We're just we're here. We're in the moment, and it's just for a couple hours. Let's forget about everything else.
Mike:Was there a moment kind of like earlier on in life in your childhood where you realized, you know, I really like this whole movie thing? Do you remember when that when that kinda first clicked?
David:Yeah. You asked that, and I I don't really know. I mean, it just it it was it was fairly routine. Like, we we we did it fairly often as a kid, and then it just continued on throughout my teens and then into adulthood. And so it just was like, hey, this is the thing that I do, and I enjoy it.
David:Beyond that, I don't really know. I can't pinpoint an exact moment.
Mike:Yeah. Now in in this point in the conversation, for the listeners listening in, I could pivot and ask about a totally different topic or question. I could talk about his favorite movies, why they're the favorite movie, and learn about movies. I I am not a movie buff, but I'm assuming David would be a movie buff. I mean, David, are you a movie buff?
Mike:Do you do you love movies?
David:I do love movies. And, yes. I I I I'm probably, like, on a scale of of 1 to 10 movie buffness. I don't know. Maybe I'm an 8.
David:I don't have, like, an encyclopedic knowledge, but, I consider myself 1. Yeah.
Mike:And so here's an opportunity over the holidays, and you can do this with your spouse, with your kids. Just ask open questions. And if they feel that you're being open, you're being neutral, and you truly actually wanna know more about them, they'll share it. I've taught this at different corporate events, actually. I don't just do finance.
Mike:I actually try to help people have a higher quality of life. I've done it internally with the staff that I've worked through over the the the years I've been in leadership in different capacities. And I'll never forget. There was one person I taught this to. He went home and he he tried this exercise with his spouse.
Mike:He came back in tears in his eyes the next day and said I never knew how little I knew about my wife.
David:Mhmm.
Mike:Until I asked her open questions.
David:Right.
Mike:We are starved for human connection. And so the challenge is how long can you go without inserting yourself into the conversation? How long can you just respond with another thoughtful question? If you do this, your holiday season will most likely be one of the most memorable experiences in your life. That's been my experience in teaching people with it.
Mike:I want to share it with you in the spirit of charity. It starts with human connection. Supporting others, not judging them, not manipulating them, not condescendingly responding to stuff, but truly seeking to understand someone and connect with them. So I hope all those are listening in will do that. Try it out.
Mike:See if you can go 5, 10 minutes just asking open questions. Remember, the secret is you can't know what the response actually is. And if you want some help, just listen. Listen to the nouns that they're giving you, like David talked about his kids, the house, movies, and then ask more about that. And just see what happens.
Mike:This is stuff that I teach my clients actually when they retire. Many times people will become estranged or feel distance from their kids. This is a way to help heal that relationship. Can't force it but it's a way to help heal that relationship. So, anyway, I I taught you this a while back as well.
Mike:But Yeah. Any comments on that before we kinda proceed to the next section of our holiday special is what we'll call it.
David:So, yeah, I I you introduced this concept to me, you know, earlier this year when I when I came on to Kedrick. And I have to say it was hard at first because you have to sort of bite your tongue when when you ask these questions, these open ended questions, and then the other person responds. And then when you're hearing their response, your brain automatically starts thinking about how you're gonna insert yourself back into that back into the, oh, I've asked you this question, but now let's talk about me because they might say something that that maybe you have in common, and then you wanna talk about yourself as how it relates. And so you have to really stop yourself and, like, no. No.
David:No. I'm not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna keep listening, and then I'm gonna keep probing with more questions. And, you know, the more you do it, the the the more natural it becomes and the easier it gets. But at first, it is hard, but it's it's definitely rewarding.
David:And and sometimes, you know, I ask my kids these questions, and I'm just met with a, I don't know. And so, you know, I don't know. You shrug your shoulders and you keep trying. The the secret is just don't give up. Just keep asking.
Mike:Yeah. You can't control the answer, but we've got a lot lined up for the show today. We're gonna see if we can get Tammy on the phone here, and then we'll, we'll proceed to that point. This is how to retire on time holiday special. We're not really talking about retirement.
Mike:We're just talking about charity, human connection, and just good feelings, good vibes, as as the kids would say. Stay tuned for that and more. If you're just joining us right now, this is How to Retire on Time, a show that talks about all things retirement, really, income, taxes, Social Security, and more. My name is Mike Decker. I'm the author of the book, How to Retire on Time, which is what inspired this show.
Mike:Joining us right now is the incredible Tammy Reid. For those who don't know much about Tammy, she is among the more optimistic, kind, and humble people you will ever meet. I'm speaking from personal experience here. She's incredibly busy with her volunteer work and philanthropic efforts, specifically helping those who have dealt with domestic abuse. She's also found other programs like the Eagles Women's Association that helps encourages other coaches and players and wives and girlfriends become more involved in the community.
Mike:Tammy Reid, for those who don't know, is a positive force in our world. She's absolutely incredible. So, Tammy, thank you for joining our show today.
Tammy:You're welcome. Thanks for having me. You didn't mention that I am also known as the head coach of the head coach of the Chiefs. That's like my biggest intro for most places.
Mike:Wait. Yeah. Yeah. We're in Kansas City. I hope people would put that together.
Mike:But you are the, the foundation of the household as I understand it. You're kind of
Tammy:I am.
Mike:The calmness at home. Right? The the No. The calmness
Tammy:of snow? I am optimistic but he's the calm one if you notice him on the field and when you see him at press conferences. And I'm the crazy one so we we we bring a good mix and he calms me down and I get him amped up if I need to, which is very hard to do.
Mike:It's a perfect
Tammy:He doesn't get amped up very easy, so yeah.
Mike:It's a perfect blend of yin and yang.
Tammy:Yeah. It's a great blend. And I also say that, you know, I do run everything, but I just told him I said, you can call the plays and do all that, and I'll just do the rest. And he's like, okay.
Mike:Divide and conquer.
Tammy:Uh-huh. Yeah. It works for us.
Mike:Well, thank you for coming on. In the spirit of the holiday season, Christmas is a very special time of the year. Charity is often a conversation, but I have found, at least in in talking with people, that it's like, okay. How? How are we charitable?
Mike:What are different ways? So it kind of to set a a tone for our conversation, can you think back at a time in in your life specifically where there was kind of a a moment where someone was charitable to you and had a significant impact on your life?
Tammy:Well, you know what? I grew up with, in Memphis, Tennessee with 6 brothers and sisters. And being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, which is my faith, we are always doing service. And I think that while we didn't really need any service, my parents were the most amazing examples of service that I've ever known. And that is why I think all 7 of us are the way that we are because there was never a time that our dad did not drop things to go fix somebody's washer, pick them up, fix a car, repair something, take someone somewhere.
Tammy:And I I my brother and I were we were he was just here and we were just talking that. He said, do you remember the time we're all sitting at the table, mom's bringing the food in, gets the phone call, and she goes, oops. We're taking this food to somebody else. Somebody's sick. And she took our whole meal, and then we just had, I think peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or made pimento cheese sandwiches or something on the fly, and that was not that was not an odd thing to happen at our home.
Tammy:Our parents were just always that way and so I think that's where I learned to be such a giving person and to find others that need our help because while Andrea and I are very poor when we got married and for a lot of years in the coaching world, we have been blessed in the latter years. And so the fact that I can give back and we can give back to our community just kinda makes you feel better. And I also know that when you are giving to others and serving others, you kinda forget your troubles and your worries because we've had a crazy life and we've had bad things happen. Everybody has adversity. But when you turn that around and try and help someone else, it just makes you feel so much better about your life and you think, wow.
Tammy:I really don't have it that bad. There are other people that are out there that need my help more than I need to be wallowing in my misery or whatever is going on in your life.
Mike:Mhmm. Did you see that? I heard and correct me if I'm wrong, but you had 5 kids in 5 states, so you moved a lot, had to reestablish yourself. I mean, what was that Yes. Like trying to assimilate into a community, a new group of people, and and build connections?
Tammy:Well, you know what? My motto in life is bloom where you're planted because Andy Reid has transplanted me in 8 different states. And I didn't really know any different because we just we got married in college and we just grew up together. We had our first baby, you know, when he was finishing his master's degree. So yes, we had 5 children in 5 different states and my job, I always felt being, you know, I I told him, I said I'm gonna be a stay at home mom and he's like, really?
Tammy:Because his mom was a doctor and I said, yeah, I really wanna be home with my babies and my kids and be that mom that picks them up from school or they get home and have milk and cookies and I just it's a good place for them to be. So I just always as soon as we moved, I found the best pediatrician from the best OB GYN because I was probably having another baby there. And I found just we found a great school, a great place to live. And you don't know where you're moving half the time, but you just hope for the best and then you make it at the best of whatever your situation is. So just getting acclimated for the kids was my biggest goal so that they were happy and they were settled and they were calm.
Tammy:And Andrew was at work and he would jump in when he needed to be and, you know, I would tell him when he needed to be around and so it kinda worked for us. But, yeah, I'm I was the one who tried to get everybody involved in the sports and sign up for everything and make sure I was the homeroom mom for at least 1 or 2 of the 5 classes and etcetera etcetera. So, yeah, that's my job.
Mike:I wanna go back real quick to when you're talking about your your father, and your family just giving at at a moment's notice. Was that ever weird or unexpected? Or was it just as you grew up, it was just normal life to you?
Tammy:It was just normal. Our parents were just those people. And it never seemed I mean, the meal leaving the table, we're we're like, what? Gosh. That looked so good.
Tammy:But
Mike:you
Tammy:just you just went with it. That's just the way our parents were. I mean, we we just never knew when our dad would get home because he'd go straight from work to go help someone. And so it's just a natural part of life that they built in us just by the example.
Mike:That that example so I I gotta share a quick story. This might sound silly, but one of the most significant moments in my life, it was, this was in junior high of all places. And, I felt kind of like a lonely kid. We all struggle different ways. I felt very, very isolated, very, very lonely.
Mike:And out of nowhere, when the teacher says you have to group up and you have you gotta find a partner to do this project with, I just shrunk in my seat. Just felt so alone, and who's gonna pick me and all that. And what I thought was the cutest girl in school, out of her way goes and says, I wanna be Mike's partner. And from that moment on, I gained a sort of confidence and a sort of ability of self image, I guess, whatever you wanna call it, that changed my life. Do you know how much that cost that girl to say, hey.
Mike:I wanna be his partner in a stupid history project? Yes. It's these little moments that can change the the trajectory of someone's life. I mean, I'm just thinking Exactly. That was my experience.
Mike:I can't imagine how many people your dad helped that could have changed their whole life. I mean, it's it's the little things like this. Do you have a a story, David? Something that's changed your life just as we're in the the moment of sharing here?
David:Yeah. I do, actually. When you asked me earlier, it didn't take me more than one second. A little over 25 years ago, I was, a much younger man, obviously, and, I was preparing to go on this this 2 year volunteer opportunity. And, you know, you can't leave to to go do this, with any debts.
David:Right? And so I was driving an older car, and, it had it had needed some big repair. And neither I or my parents had, like, the money to fund this repair, so we ended up putting on a credit card. Right?
David:Mhmm.
David:So so I have this sort of debt hanging over me, but I'm I'm trying to get ready to go on and do this volunteer thing for 2 years. And so one of my mother's dear friends finds out that I can't leave until I take care of this debt. And she offered to just wipe out the debt for me, and she did.
Mike:That's incredible.
David:Yeah. And so I've never forgotten that all these, you know, decades later that that's, like, the first thing that always comes to my mind when I think about just great charity.
Mike:And it probably was she could probably afford it. Yes. You never gift what you can't afford, but Right. And that changed your life forever.
Tammy:Yes. What I love about both of y'all's examples is that those two things probably changed y'all and you turned around and did that for someone else down the road and paid it forward. And that's that's what this is all about is when someone kinda reaches out or helps you, it makes you feel so good. You're like, gosh. I want somebody else to feel this good.
Tammy:So you just keep doing it.
Mike:It's it's infectious in a good way. Now let let's talk about Kansas City, for example. And this show is aired kind of all over the world. We actually have a listenership in Germans and Brazilians that listen to our show for whatever reason.
Tammy:The German people love us. We just played there, so I have a whole group of German friends right now.
Mike:That's fun. Yeah. Well, inflation's been a huge problem for many families. Look. The job market's tough.
Mike:There are so many ways that we can gift charity. But, you know, Tammy, I know you're heavily involved in the community. Based on what you've seen, what are ways people might be able to help lift our community? Is it the kind act? Are there charitable plays?
Mike:I mean, just it could be anything. But what have you seen that kind of catches your eye?
Tammy:Well, you know what? There are so many opportunities that I don't think people always realize, but I know that our church has a website called Just Serve. So if you need volunteer hours for your kids at school or they or you wanna do something, just gather your family and do something fun. You can go on there and just look up, like, 30,000 charities. I and there's local ones for us, clearly.
Tammy:I don't know how many we have, but you can look up a charity and go do something fun with your family. And then, I'm a part of this Chiefs Women's Organization. And we go out and all the women who can show up, we go do different philanthropy things probably once every 2 weeks. We've helped build houses for Habitat for Humanity. They are always looking for people.
Tammy:All you have to do is look at their website, and they will let you show up and go help build a house, paint a house, do all kinds of things that they need. We've worked in the women's shelters before. We went in and reorganized all of their donations so they the women had their shampoos and pillows and necessities and clothing. When they needed to get a job, they would come to this down to the basement and every we organized everything. So there's so many charities around our little city here that if you want to, you can find it.
Tammy:And I think that people just need to just talk to their neighbor. If if you feel like you need to do something or you have some extra time on your hands, there's always something to do.
Mike:Yeah. The charity can be done by time. It can be done by money. It could be done by just, I mean, so many different ways. So thank you for that.
Mike:Yes. Now recently
Tammy:You're welcome.
Mike:I saw that you had attended the opening of something called the Giving Machine, which is that in, Union Station?
David:It is.
Mike:Is that right? It's in Union Station.
Tammy:It is. It it we kicked it off last Saturday, Tavia Hunt and I.
Mike:Yeah. It's a venue machine for charity.
Tammy:It is. It's a it is one of the greatest inventions of all time, and it's it's big and it's red like my husband, Big Red, and the Chiefs, so it's perfect for our team and our local people. It's literally a vending machine that you can pick a number just like you would if you're gonna buy a candy bar or some Doritos in a vending machine. And instead, the item could be a goat. It could be a crib for a baby.
Tammy:It could be groceries for someone. It could I mean, there's 30 different products in this thing. And the the fun thing about it is that no matter how much money you have, there's something for $7 and then there's things for a 100 and something dollars. And then there's also, if you want to push 777, which I'm having a big event coming up with some girlfriends at Union Station. And I'm gonna challenge some of them.
Tammy:But the 777 will drop every single card down, and it's something like $1400. So if you have that much, it'd be fun to stand there and watch that. And I actually did it with our grandkids at the kickoff, and they had so much fun counting the cards because it would come down 1 at a time.
Mike:Mhmm.
David:And
Tammy:there's 30 cards, and so that was kind of a fun activity for our grandkids. But these machines are incredible and then you just put your credit card in and it pays for it.
Mike:That's wonderful. It it Yeah. The convenience is nice because sometimes you don't have time, but you could have money to donate. And if you have money, where do you go? Exactly.
Mike:Click a button and it's done.
Tammy:Exactly. And I love because our governor was there who's leaving soon. He's out of office soon. But he challenged everybody. He said, I know some people have a lot, some people don't have a lot.
Tammy:But he said, if you can even just do 57 because I'm the 57th governor. And so that was kind of a cute challenge. Just do $57 and, you know, donate what you can. But the fun thing is, if you go with your family, those kids have so much fun. They're gonna wanna buy a goat.
Tammy:They're gonna. So you better be prepared to pay for a goat. Or you just say, you know what? You can pick from this one, this one, or this one. Good luck with that.
Tammy:But, you know, my tip is to bring the grandparents. You know, that's always a good good thing to do.
Mike:Yeah. How many people are gonna buy a goat in their life?
Tammy:Yeah. This is your itinerary.
Mike:Might not be a bucket list item, but.
Tammy:Yeah. We did chickens a few years ago, and they sold thousands of chickens. So Oh, I love it. The the good thing about the giving machines is there are 6 local charities, and then there are 2 world organizations. So you can give near or far and just pick the one that speaks to your heart.
Mike:Well, that's wonderful. Tammy, thank you for spending the time with us today. Do you have any last thoughts just in general about charity and and what people can do to help lift our community, kind of be a light in this world?
Tammy:Yeah. I think that when you are a light, others will see it, and it will they will feed off of you. And I know that somebody had some saying about a smile, and I love it. I wrote it down. I don't have it memorized.
Tammy:But even if you just smile at somebody who's having a bad you can tell when they're kinda grumpy, and it just changes their whole demeanor. And that's what charity does. That's what giving to people does, and that's what just being a good person does. So go out there and take your family, get involved, do something even if it's for an hour or if it's for a whole day event. Just when you give back, it just lifts you and builds you and makes you feel like a better person.
Mike:Thank you so much, Tammy. I hope you have a great rest of your day, rest of the holiday, and go Chiefs.
Tammy:K. Thanks.
David:Thanks, Tammy.
Mike:My name is Mike Decker. You're listening to How to Retire on Time. If you're just tuning in, this is how to retire on time, but today's show is actually more about charity than getting you to retirement. We're we're raising awareness specifically in the local Kansas City area on ways that you can give back. You could be charitable not just to your kids, not just to your church, but other ways.
Mike:And and with us, we are incredibly blessed to have Amy Cox, the executive director of Flourish Furniture Bank with us. Amy?
Amy:Thanks so much for having me.
Mike:Thanks for joining us. Now the reason why I asked you specifically to come on the show is because me personally, I think what Flourish does is one of the most comprehensive, impactful I'm sorry. I'm tearing up already. We did but what you guys are doing, I think, is more significant than any other charity locally here in Kansas. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Mike:So embarrassing, but I don't care. I mean every word of it, Amy. Can you just let people know what Flourish Furniture Bank kind of does? Just an a nice overview.
Amy:And and we we so appreciate your service when you come out as well. So yeah. Absolutely. Flourish is the only furniture bank in Kansas City, and we really kind of have a magical formula for what we do. We partner with 83 social service agencies so that we don't provide any case management here at Flourish ourselves.
Amy:And those social service agencies cover a wide range of situations for families in Kansas City from refugees who are just settling here in Kansas City to, moms who have escaped domestic violence situations and left in the middle of the night with nothing to kids aging out of foster care, veterans, and all kinds of people who have just lost their housing for financial reasons or due to, you know, some some major catastrophe. So we provide an entire home of furniture and home essentials to those families. So we're not just talking about a bed, but we're talking about all of the furniture for a living room, for a kitchen, and for a bedroom. We're also talking about linens and artwork and all of the little things that add up to turning an apartment into a a real home for your family. And at the same time, we save about 600 tons of things from the landfill each year.
Mike:When I was there and I was volunteering my time, I I thought I'd just be hauling around mattresses, all the men. But, we came there. There's, like, a morning huddle that this kind of explain how things work. And I was immediately put into, a kind of a soap or a a cosmetics kind of situation where I I got soap and I packaged it up into little bits that you could give away, and it would take care of their laundry for a day or, you know, this, that, or the other. Then once I was done with that, they sent me over because I know how to sew.
Mike:I started working with taking what was it? Sheets? Not sheets and stuff that maybe wouldn't work for a bed. And I was repurposing them to become washcloths or just rags around the house. And we saw a couple of families come in.
Mike:And for them to have nothing and then say, okay, we'll take these rags here. We'll take this silverware here. You know, this match. I mean, it it was incredible. That's one of the biggest Yeah.
Mike:Struggles is how do you go from nothing to an establishment? To to be established, to having a foundation.
Amy:And and really the value of that we have of when donors bring things to us, it usually has a really high sentimental value. So mom or dad have had to downsize and go into a retirement facility or someone in the family has passed away, and you don't really have room in your house for all the things, but it has a high sentimental value. So we try to really respect that and honor that when people bring things to us. And so all those departments that you're talking about, our woodworking department and our sewing department, not only respect the donor by providing those things back out to families, but we're really able to use just about everything that we're given. And so, you know, you were talking about the homemade laundry detergent that we provide that's both economical for the families we serve, but also eco friendly.
Amy:And and just using if we get things with stains and tears, trying to find other ways to use those, not giving them out as a bedsheet because that's not dignified, but turning them into something else that we can use. And it's it's just a little bit magical around here.
Mike:It it really is. And your woodwork working department is one of the most incredible. It's magic there. And what they can take and make into beautiful pieces of furniture, chairs, or bed frames, or whatever it's. And if you're listening in right now and you're a handyman and you want a challenge and you like woodworking, this is for you.
Mike:It's so fun.
Amy:Yeah. And any skill level, really. Because in our woodworking department, it's anything from tightening doors and table legs to craftsmen who take leaves from tables
Mike:Mhmm.
Amy:And turn those into new tables. And so there's really every level of expertise and also just a lot of mentorship that goes on in that department as well.
Mike:Now there's kinda 4 categories that people can work with you, if I understand it right. You've got you can serve, you can volunteer, you can donate, or you can sponsor. Can you break that down real quick?
Amy:Yeah. So serving, you know, is it comes in a wide variety of opportunities. I think a lot of people think when they come here, they're just gonna be kinda sorting donations. But we have people who go out in the community and pick up furniture. We have people who work on the dock because when people come to us, they bring an entire moving truck, and we fill that whole moving truck.
Amy:And so we actually have people working in our warehouse to pack the moving trucks. So there's all kinds of different opportunities to volunteer here. Donate comes in a couple of forms, you know, donating furniture and all those things. I really think that everybody listening to the show today could go through their kitchen cabinets and their linen closet and find things that they haven't used in a long time. And, you know, a a single mom who's got a few kids who's trying to cook a spaghetti dinner, and they don't have a pot to put on the stove to do that.
Amy:Those are the things that we really all take for granted. So donating, you know, also, we have a bed fund. So one of the big things we provide is beds for people when they come here. Mhmm. And we do take used mattresses as long as they have no stains or tears and are in really good condition.
Amy:If I wouldn't let my kiddo sleep on it, I'm not gonna let somebody else's. But, we don't get enough beds through just those donations, so we have a bed fund. And then, yeah, sponsorship. So we have 2 big events a year. We have the running of the beds, which will be April 26, 2025, where we have teens who build beds on wheels and race them.
Amy:And it's a super, super fun day, where we bring our partner agencies together and the community and our volunteers. And, and then we have a gala every year that has been really successful. So sponsoring our truck going out into the community, we do home pickups, but we also go to a lot of corporate, entities and pick up items as well. So we have an opportunity to sponsor our truck for a month out in the community and also an opportunity to sponsor our bed fund. So those are big things for us.
Amy:And, you know, any help that we can provide, we are really I would say our volunteer program is so important. We have 4 staff members here at Flourish, at least for 1300 families this year. And so it is really, really driven by that volunteer service, and it's so important that the community has a place where they can come and feel like they really have an impact on their neighbors and flourish is definitely that.
Mike:Now just a couple of, comments, if I will, and a couple of questions for you to kind of wrap up this segment. But
Amy:Sure.
Mike:First, I I wanna just take a moment and talk to our listeners. Time is such an impactful thing. If we create experiences, we shape behavior. That's just a a behavioral or that's just human construct in itself. And so if you have kids or grandkids, take them to a place like Flourish.
Amy:Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
Mike:It'll change your life. It'll stay really well.
Amy:Yeah. I've been involved in, you know, charitable work my entire life and have helped create some programs for children at any elementary school that my kids went to and in other places. And what we found is if kids don't learn how to volunteer as children, they don't understand the impact of that as adults. And so that is so, so important for, yeah, parents or grandparents or aunts and uncles or any adult in the community. If you see a kid that's not had that experience to really get them engaged at a at a time in their life where they're really formulating their character and, what's gonna carry them through the rest of their life.
Amy:Because I can tell you, I know a whole lot of adults that have come back to volunteering as a way to pull themselves out of some pretty tough times as well. And being able to fall back on that is, you know, just kinda learn behavior that kids need to pick up when they're young.
Mike:Yeah. I mean, for me, it was feeding the homeless as a kid. We wouldn't open our Christmas presents until we for many beers, sometimes it was Christmas Eve, sometimes it was day after. But we'd feed the homelessness up in Seattle before we open our presents Yeah. To put in perspective certain things.
Mike:We we helped so many people move in to the area that we're moving again from Microsoft from all over the country. We just would volunteer and help unload their U Haul. It was like, hey, what are you doing Saturday morning? Oh, we're unloading our neighbor. You don't know.
Mike:I wanna play video games. No, you're not. But it was those things that that shaped my character, and I I I would not change it for the world. And this is one of the few opportunities where Flourish can facilitate something like this. And it doesn't cost you anything to show up in volunteer time, but it can shape, really the character of someone.
Mike:Two more questions for you. I mean, if if you have the time. What are you seeing locally for, like, the needs of the Kansas City? Like, I mean, we've we talk about inflation on the show. We talk about how the job market is kind of rough.
Mike:There's a lot of things shifting here. What are you seeing when it comes to the needs of the people here of Kansas City?
Amy:Yeah. So we're we're kind of part of, you know, that whole housing continuum, and what we've seen is that housing is really, really tough in Kansas City. From a couple different perspectives, we see it. We see it from people losing housing, more people living in their cars than ever before in Kansas City, and that's really tough. But also from the perspective of the organizations we work with trying to find affordable housing for the families that they're serving and how it it becomes more and more difficult all the time.
Amy:So housing is a big thing and then also just the margins that people are living on. So where it used to be that you can maybe furnish a house with most of the smaller items, maybe not the furniture, but most of the smaller items by kind of, you know, purchasing 1 or 2 things a week, maybe going to thrift stores, The families that we're serving just are not able to do that anymore. They're barely able to be able to meet that, rent payment and to put gas in the car and to put food on the table for the kids. And so, really, when we furnish a home, we know that those family members without floors and services would be living with nothing in their home. And I mean nothing.
Amy:Like, all their clothes in a plastic trash bag in the corner of the bedroom, sleeping on the floor, eating on the floor. And without floors, they'd be doing that for a very long time. Not a matter of months, but a matter of years. And we look at how that impacts kids. If kids aren't sleeping in a bed and they're not sitting at a table to do their homework and to have a good conversation with their families and to eat a healthy, nutritious meal each day, then the expectation for them to go up get up and go to school and be successful is a really high bar to hold those kids to.
Amy:And so, you know, furniture seems like it's just kind of this thing that we all take for granted, and it's just kind of there. But for so many families, it is not there, and it makes a huge difference to have these things.
Mike:Thank you. How do people get a hold of you? How do they sign up for volunteer? How do they give money? Can you kind of just let them know how to do something, how to take action?
Amy:Yeah. Absolutely. So our our, website's pretty comprehensive. They can donate on our website. They can sign up to volunteer.
Amy:They can find out more about all the items that we accept for donation. So it's pretty comprehensive, and that is flourish furniture bank dot org. If they have other questions, they can always call us at 816-946-8600.
Mike:And then the website again is flourish furniture bank dot org. And if you don't get that or you just remember our number here on how to retire on time, you can call or text us, and we'll just send it all to you as well and connect you with them. That's our number is 913-363-1234. Call or text that number, and we'll get you connected. Again, our number is 913-363-1234.
Mike:Amy, thanks for being on the show today and and raising awareness of what you guys do and the incredible impact you've had on our local community.
Amy:Thank you. Thank you so much. We're so appreciative.
Mike:You're listening to how to retire on time. Welcome back to the show, how to retire on time. We're we're talking about our holiday special here, a charitable gifting highlighting various charities to raise awareness and how you can help those in need. Joining us right now is Sydney McDavid. She's the chair of the Kansas City Committee of Giving Machines.
Mike:If you haven't heard about these, I know we talked about earlier in the show, but these are some of the most incredible ways you can gift and just spread spread the goodness in the world. Cindy, thanks for joining us today and spending a few moments. Now can you first just talk about what in the world is a giving machine?
Cindy:Sure. A giving machine is actually a vending machine with a twist. And instead of buying a candy bar or a can of soda, it allows you to choose specific items that you would give to a charity and pay for it with a credit card or some other electronic form of payment, and then you walk away with a tax deductible receipt. So you walk away feeling good instead of taking something for yourself.
Mike:Now the items aren't actually in the vending machines. The money goes to the charities and all that. Can you kind of walk us through how how that works?
Cindy:Sure. That's correct. So in the machines are actually cards that represent the items. And when you complete your transaction, it drops to the bottom so you know that that you've purchased that item. In the end, after a full audit, the funds are distributed electronically to the charities, and we have a special media event where we present the large checks to show that we have given those funds to the charities.
Mike:And what kinds of things can you can you buy?
Cindy:Oh my goodness. I said
Mike:it jokingly because my son and I bought a goat this year. Yep.
Cindy:People love the goats and the beehives and things like that. You can give a meal. You can give dog grooming tools to someone who is learning a skill that changes their life so that they can actually support their family and get out of homelessness. You can purchase winter gear or blankets or furniture for someone who is getting into permanent housing rather than being on the street. So there are lots of options in all price levels from $5 to 200.
Mike:And there's a special secret here, with this as well. If you're if you're feeling extra charitable, you can do what is it what's it called? The 777 challenge?
Cindy:Yes. It is 777. And with that, every item in the, machine is put into your cart for a total of $1,452. And that's a great way if you if you can really help others, watch every card drop, and you're just helping more and more people.
Mike:Now I wanna push back a little bit on charities. Not just disparage against them, but this is something that people don't realize. When I have clients that wanna be charitable, we don't just pick the charity and the cause. We also look at their admin fees and the overhead cost, all that because sometimes a lot of it just eaten up with all this. Can you talk about how that works within this the realm of the giving machine?
Cindy:Certainly. So, we do accept applications online on our website, giving machines kc.org. We review those applications, and, we look for charities that have a 10% administrative overhead or less, and they have to have a Charity Navigator score. I believe it's 90 or greater. So they have already had a certain amount of vetting.
Cindy:We've got them additionally. We wanna make sure that their CEO doesn't have any scandals or that kind of thing. And then the charities are under contract that they will use the funds that are, donated for the items that the donor has intended. And they they agree that if they have to use any of that for administrative overhead that they will use no more than 10%. They are thrilled to be in the giving machines because of the publicity and the funds that they make.
Mike:Oh, yeah. I I mean, if you look at the KC Instagram Yeah. The giving machine Instagram, there's all sorts of, celebrities and people that are not only just talking about it, but I think they're actually giving it. They're they're actually participating themselves, which is really cool. And that's good to know that your funds are actually going to the cause.
Mike:I gotta ask, how in the world this gets started? I mean, you don't think vending machines and charity. Right. And you're not idea. What what in the world?
Mike:Where did this come from?
Cindy:So, the machines are sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, and they work with a PR firm in Salt Lake City. And the PR firm was just sitting around one day kind of discussing you know, they were saying giving to charity ought to be as easy as buying a candy bar. And then someone said, well, why not? Let's try it. And so in 2017, I think they set up one machine in Salt Lake, and people just went crazy for it.
Cindy:And they thought, we are on to something here. And so from 2017, with one machine, it has grown today to a 106 locations.
Mike:Wow. And does the church take anything from this? I mean, are they No.
Cindy:No. The church covers all overhead costs. They do not take anything from it. It's truly wanting to help those in the community.
Mike:And are the charities specifically associated with the church? Are they kind of nondenominational or just kind of a little bit of everything?
Cindy:Yeah. They are not associated with the church at all.
Mike:So this is truly a facilitation of helping everyone regardless of religion, race, creed, belief, economic background. It's just what's that the expression?
Cindy:Light the world.
Mike:Light the world. Thank you. That's the that's the church's expression. Light the world. They're really trying to light the world and spread goodness here.
Cindy:Yep. That's correct.
Mike:Is there anything else we should know about the giving machines? Time lines, when do they how long do they stay up?
Cindy:Right. So we officially opened on November 30th with our grand unwrapping, which was pretty spectacular. And we are there, in Union Station through January 1st. And then on the second, we will take the machines down and store them away for next year.
Mike:Okay. So we've still got time. Make a night out of this. Yeah. Go in there if if you if you can buy a goat.
Mike:Buy a goat. If you can buy a bed, buy a bed. If you can do the 77 challenge Yeah. That's that's a remarkable experience. I've already purchased, so this isn't me just say, oh, do it, but I don't need to.
Mike:No. I've I've actually done it. I'm all going back again. We've actually been there twice. Yeah.
Mike:Purchased from it twice.
David:Well, it's fun, and it's a great atmosphere in Union Station too. Like, the trees are up. People are in there. It's just it's a good feeling.
Mike:Oh, yeah. Well, you're going to the holiday spectacular at Union Station. Why not live the purpose of Christmas. Right? Christ Christmas
David:Yes.
Mike:Giving. Anyway, Cindy, thank you so much for spending some time, with us and and helping us understand this really convenient way, frankly, that we can get money to the right places and help a lot of people.
Cindy:Thank you. Thank you for talking about us on the radio. We love for people to hear about them. Yeah. And that that's a fun moment when they realize, oh, I'm seeing what I've heard about.
Mike:Absolutely. Alright. We'll talk to you next year.
Cindy:Alright. And we look forward to that. Awesome. Thank you so much.
Mike:You're listening to how to retire on time. If you're just tuning in, this is how to retire on time. I'm Mike Decker with David Fransen here, and we're doing a holiday special. We're really talking about charity, and I really wanna emphasize the importance of charity. You have no idea what people are going through even if they seem well.
Mike:They're just showing you what they think they need to show you. There are Even the wealthy have problems. The poor have problems. The middle class have problems. Sometimes it's financially related.
Mike:Sometimes it's emotionally related. Sometimes people just I was listening to a podcast actually as I was raking the leaves yesterday. Mhmm. And they were talking about in 2,001, September 11th, how it really shook up New York. And there was a huge cultural shift in New York, a city where people are supposed to be gruff and
David:Mhmm.
Mike:Tough and all of that, that they would just stop and say, how are you? And they actually meant it and wanted just to check-in on each other.
David:Mhmm.
Mike:And I I'm concerned with the political rhetoric, with the fear in the economy that some people have and others don't. The uncertainty about all sorts of things in our life that we've become so fearful that we've forgotten how to connect with others. And it's sometimes it's a friendship. Sometimes I'll share a story. Hope I don't get in trouble for saying
David:this. Alright.
Mike:I mean, this was years ago when I was a young young child. I didn't know that we were financially going through some difficult times. K. K. You don't really realize that from a child.
Mike:No. But you get glimpses of when your parents are grateful for charitable acts. And there was one in particular I remember. Apparently, we couldn't afford a Thanksgiving dinner or we were struggling to even do so. And someone dropped off a turkey and all, like, the stuffing and all the food that we needed.
Mike:And again, I had I could have had Cheerios and been happy as a kid. I had no idea as the kid that we were financially struggling. I don't know how this person knew we were financially struggling at the time. And again, I was like, I don't know, 5, 6, something like that. 7 maybe.
Mike:But it's been a memory of of for life.
David:I actually have a similar memory. Like like you say, I with kids, we don't know. We we don't know what's what the what the balance sheet says. But I have a very distinct memory I've never forgotten. We came home from wherever we were and sitting on the front porch were like 2 brand new couches.
David:We we needed furniture. And, yeah, apparently, someone that that we knew from church had had dropped them off for us. Here we go. We needed it. The very distinct memory of just the image of those 2 new couches sitting on the on the front porch.
Mike:It's it's just it goes back to we don't know what we don't know. And how could you know to ask a question? Hey. Do you need we make all these assumptions. Right.
Mike:I think back at in the last couple of years, especially since the pandemic happened, people were very retrospective of just the quality of life. I found out that apparently there were times in my life where I was just nice to someone. And it was like, that's what got them through these difficult times.
David:I
Mike:had no idea. Mhmm. So, you know, in the spirit of the holiness, I recognize not everyone listening is a Christian. I recognize there are different religions and Christmas is really a time of Christ for Christians, but to all religions and all people, charity is is something we all can relate to. Giving and being kind is something we can relate to.
Mike:And I just hope that as we wrap up this year, that we can kind of dive into this mindset of maybe I don't need to be fearful. Maybe I can be open and just be kind. Maybe spend a few extra minutes just asking someone a question. Not trying to relate to them, not trying to one up them, but just how you doing? Right.
Mike:What's going on? And they tell you something. How does that feel? And just just really try to understand someone. That's, that's how I think we're gonna wrap up the show today is that invitation of not just for the rest of this year, but see if you can make that a habit, a part of your your behavior of who you are.
Mike:Because that's really how we start to heal as a society. That's really how we start to heal the family, the workplace, the educational facilities, and so on. It's kindness. It's connection. That's really all the time we've got for today's show.
Mike:If you did enjoy the show, consider telling a friend. It's usually about finance and retirement. But, hey, leave a rating. Subscribe to wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for the show, How to Retire on Time.
Mike:Lastly, you can stream the show, if you didn't know, via our 247 broadcast. You just go to www dot retire on time radio.com. Stream various episodes on your phone while you're on the go. And last but not least, we wanna thank you for a great year, a great time on this show, and for you spending your time, your most precious asset with us today. We'll see you in the next episode.