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Join Rem and Alvia as they navigate the joys and perils of adulthood as a married millennial DINK couple in the Philippines, while also trying to break the stigma against the DINK lifestyle or being childless by choice. We tackle challenges like facing adult responsibilities, managing finances, growing careers, breaking generational traumas, generating social impact, cultivating relationships, and determining who should be washing the dishes.
DINKWAP stands for Dual-Income No Kids with a Podcast!
Are you a DINK, SINK, or DINK-curious? Join us at DINK Lifestyle Philippines.
This is why I'm like, "Why are all college boys like this?" So when I feel like I'm getting serious, I don't want to anymore.
We're really guys, we're really guys, we're really pigs.
We're really guys, we're really guys, we're really guys, we're really pigs They all cheek one day.
The DINKWAP Show.
It's about the fallen angels.
Then the message is, "I wish I could have you, but it's against our religion." It's against our religion.
The video is so good that it's replying.
The topic is just right.
Why are you replying?
I'm scared.
I didn't really reply.
The DINKWAP Show.
Dual income.
No kids.
With a podcast.
hello hello welcome to another episode of the DINKWAP show day three And we're still here.
Yes, I'm your host, Rem.
Alvia.
I forgot my name.
And with their only friend, Des.
Yes.
So, we just gave Rem some air time.
Last episode, yes.
So, my love life or lack of love life when I was in college.
So, it's you guys.
We were in college.
So, I'll go first because it's more...
Wait, I'm sorry.
So for me, when I was in college, I had this weird thing that I was scared to date because of the people we know in college.
True.
Because one of the boys, they didn't even have the courage to tell us.
So we know the situation.
So I was like, on my end, I don't want to date in college.
But of course, there are those who will make you drink coffee.
Effort.
I was putting in effort.
Messenger.
Like that.
I was like that too.
But my first official boyfriend, I think it was the early start of college.
But we went to different schools.
It's funny because we didn't have a school in Baguio or anything.
We were just in Manila.
We were just going home from Antipolo.
But for us, that was such a challenge.
It was a long distance.
- But it's like an anti -polo, right? - Yeah.
And I guess when you're finding yourself.
- Yeah. - We were like that.
Because basically, they didn't get the culture of UP.
So they feel like everyone there is wild.
- Like that.
- Yeah.
And then me, I was young back then.
So you're just a part of the fight fire with fire.
"Why? Don't you trust me?" "Don't you know me?" - I was young back then. - Yeah.
He's a factor. Like how you see things.
It's like Angelica Panganiban in Gmic.
Yes, I have so many angst.
Fighting.
Just a little headache.
And you know, you have a lot of friends, boys and all.
So when you message, you message too.
And everything was so shorter.
It's like that.
Nothing, nothing sticks.
So when someone says something to me, I'm like, "Yes, I'm like that." Sometimes I'm not sure if it's a date or just friends.
Because when I was in high school, it was a thing that you're just friends.
And in college, I don't know, the college boys are really different.
I would say.
So it's just like that. It's a string of texts, chats.
- Talks. - Yeah, you talk like this.
You feel like there's something but it's not.
You get heartbroken by those.
But there's a change.
There's a change.
There's a change.
So you won't linger anymore.
I guess, as an extrovert, if someone talks to me, I'll talk to them too.
They always think that I'm interested even if I'm not.
When I feel that they're interested, I'm like a petal.
Because I'm not there anymore.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
A lot of conversations.
A lot of conversations.
So that's how college was.
I don't want to be a boyfriend because I'm scared.
Des and I are like a group of people.
- It's so funny because the boys are so funny. - It's true.
- They're so...
- It's not just a story.
- You can see it. - We know the girl.
- They're so kiss and tell.
- And they're so detailed.
So I thought, "Maybe this is how college boys are." So when I feel like I'm getting serious, I don't want to.
We're all guys, we're all pussies.
It's my fault.
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
That's why we have so many baggage.
So aside from high school, I didn't have an official boyfriend in college.
So, on to you.
Just a quick one.
Just a few flirts.
College, the usual.
We talked a lot.
What do you mean the usual?
Mine is not the usual.
- No, it's not.
- You didn't cry in the jeep?
- No.
- Some people talk to each other.
- You just turn around.
- Like Alvia, some people chat.
Aside from the common org, we have a common org.
Aside from that, we have other orgs.
Some people talk to each other.
- Lots of people talk to each other.
But I guess it's the thing. You're in college, so there's no deeper connection.
So more on -users, cuter, they show interest towards you.
You're like, "Okay, I just received." "Okay, all the compliments, all the efforts." Somehow, you'll follow the type from your building.
- Yes, I'll follow the class. - That's how it is.
It's cute before.
But I went to college with a labeled boyfriend.
He became my classmate in a class.
I'll laugh first.
Okay.
That class was long. There were lectures and labs.
Okay, what class?
I'm not good at that. Chemistry.
Why do you have chemistry?
I don't know. I'm in ecology.
Oh, so you're a pre -med.
So, chemistry.
So, that's a laboratory.
And lecture.
And then...
It started because our lab professor was close to us.
It started when we were bridge -bridge.
He said goodbye. He was so excited.
"Oh, there's something wrong." I was close to our lab professor.
So, he was like my sister.
So, he said...
"Yes, miss. I like this." And I want to pursue her.
Something like that.
And oddly, he grew up in the US.
And he went to college in the UP.
So, he's being careful and saying things here.
Yes, he's being too much.
He doesn't know.
Anyway, after that, the catch was that he has a girlfriend.
He broke up with a girlfriend to pursue me.
- Wow! - So there's a flip.
- Her flip. - But he broke up with her.
So after he broke up with a girl, he started pursuing me.
So he started by taking me to class, He would just take me to lunch or snack and then I would go straight to class.
And then, after that … - He's so cute. - You're so cute.
- He's so cute.
- That's how it is.
- I feel like he's going to watch this forever.
It's okay. We started going out.
And then, we were studying for finals.
That's when he asked me, "You know, I'm showing interest towards you. I'm courting you." He's like that.
For someone who grew up in the States, I was surprised that his approach was old school.
He's a legal factor.
He's like that.
- Very polite.
- Yes.
So he asked me, "Can you be my girlfriend?" He's like that.
As in, he asked me.
I said, "Okay, sure." So we did it.
Though I wasn't aware of the fact that I was the reason why he broke up with his ex -girlfriend.
So we became one day, we did the final exam.
Then right after the final exam, we have a common friend of his ex -girlfriend.
So he told you?
He told me that he was really mad at me.
I was like, "Really?" I was so shocked because I didn't know.
You were just a kid, right?
For me, when he started approaching me, he was single.
- They broke up, right? - They broke up.
I didn't know that I was the reason.
I just knew that he had a girlfriend.
And then he was single.
And then we started.
- So no harm, no foul. - Yes.
So for me, I was gone.
Anyway, bottom line, the following day, so it was one day, like yesterday.
The following day, a girl texted me.
Oh, shit.
She started texting me, "Oh, I felt like a trash." There are those who are harsh.
- Are you friends? - No.
We don't know each other.
She got my number from the common friend.
From our common friend.
Alright.
So for example, Alvia and I.
If she's the ex -girlfriend, we have a common friend.
And she gave my number to her ex -girlfriend.
So yeah, I felt harassed.
And for me, I guess because the relationship is not that deep.
- It's just one day. - One day.
And it's cute and all, but there's no attachment.
When that happened, I was like, "What's happening?" I was like, "Let's stop. Let's break up." That's it.
One day.
It's like, "What's this? It's like an 80s day -old." Yes.
But it's a hassle.
It's a hassle.
You know, the relationship is like a bubble.
Love is like a bubble.
One day.
It's like for me, right?
The relationship is not that deep yet.
And I'm being hassled by random people.
And that's a big factor.
We have a common friend.
So for me, it's like...
You want to change your life.
Right? I don't want to.
So we broke up.
Then after that, I started going out.
And that's it.
I feel like that's a big factor.
Since Alvia and I are in the same group of friends.
Same group of guys that we know.
So I really didn't entertain anyone there.
I started dating guys outside the university.
And actually, most, not most, all of them were working already.
So, when was that?
I started dating after that guy.
Because I met this one -day guy, one -day old chick.
- The one with the cap. - The one with the cap.
- The day -old guy. - After, I met him in 2008, 2000.
- We haven't met each other. - Huh?
- We haven't met each other yet. - Not yet.
I don't think I was in your life.
I didn't even know Elvia.
So after that, the working...
The...
Yes, because...
What year were you in?
2010?
Fourth year college.
Yes, after graduating.
But I did five years in UPA.
You worked there.
I did part -time too.
Yes.
But I was just a fourth year college student.
The one I'm dating.
- Oh. - Yes.
- It's working.
- Right.
- So...
- Nationality?
- Norway.
- See.
- She started her Affam journey.
- But before that, there's...
But let's not talk about it.
- That's their life.
- I dated a couple of guys before this Norway guy.
But the Norwegian...
- She's serious.
- She's really serious.
And we were together for two years.
- What's that?
She doesn't want to say it but she's a party girl hero.
She has a party girl hero college.
Because she graduated.
Yes.
And I worked for a wine importation company.
So that's my part -time job.
And we go to a lot of events.
So it's like a party.
You know, it's like you're paid for this party.
And at that age.
That's your job, right?
At that age, that kind of work is perfect.
Yes.
You're lucky.
We have a lot of work.
Yes.
And you don't have money.
You don't have anything to pay.
How many of us broke up in our 20s?
Wait, we're still in college?
Let's not talk about college.
I'm in college.
So, college.
For me, after college is a different era.
But yeah.
So, you're okay with college?
Yeah.
I mean, I extended it but you were working.
Yes, I extended it for one year but I worked on my last semester.
But you were dating that guy pretty seriously.
Yes.
- He's serious. - Actually, but I feel like he's also very serious.
- He's very serious. - You were only 21 then.
- I was 21. He's older than me.
Way older than me.
So he's at the age where he's not really playing around.
He's not playing, he didn't, nothing.
As in, okay, we're dating.
This is serious. He's like that.
- Super serious.
So I feel like he kind of led me towards that.
"Okay, serious. Since you're serious towards me." I can see the effort and everything he did.
As in, it's not just because the gesture is expensive or grand.
But you can see that it's just you.
- The effort. - Yes, the effort.
I guess it's a factor of the guy's age.
Because I guess if I met someone like me, Yes, I'm getting old.
But it would've been different.
Like, the maturity, the sense of direction, and how they view relationships, most probably different.
But then since he's older, he's already in his 30s when I dated him.
So he's already on the almost path of - He's mature. - He's ready to get married. I was just starting out. - He's only 21, guys. He just graduated from college.
Yes, because I was a graduate and he still gave me a graduation gift.
So that's the level.
And the graduation gift was pretty good because he was working.
He wasn't the cute graduate anymore.
Yes.
So that's it. It was serious again.
But there were other things after college.
So after college, you first because I really got lost in this.
Me too.
Okay, you first.
So you started slow.
But after...
We didn't date.
I was always drunk.
So, not girls?
Not girls.
Let's start with Sergio.
The story is so fast.
I was in my twenties. I was so young.
I was 30. I was serious.
I was in my twenties.
You spent a lot of money.
I spent a lot of money.
I don't know how I saved up.
Me too.
How did I get home?
I was like...
You were in debt.
I invested.
I didn't have a debt.
You still had savings.
It's not for you.
I mean, okay.
We don't want to be biased here.
But real talk.
But real talk.
It's different when it comes to guys and girls.
Especially when it comes to guys.
You have to spend on your own when you're going out.
True.
No one will come to your house for free.
When you go out, they'll come to you.
You just pay for your taxi.
Sometimes, you even get a free taxi.
So you, did you ever date when you were already working?
Before I became an official girlfriend.
No one?
There are some people who I'll introduce.
What's that? Blind date?
Blind date.
-That's what it is. -EB.
I always bring an extra t -shirt.
That's why.
You're so different from the way you dress up until now.
I'm just a rascal. I don't have an extra t -shirt.
-Just leave.
-I'll show you.
Okay.
For me, when I graduated, it was my first time to be an income.
So I was trying to dress up, to fix myself.
I met some people and they suddenly reached out.
I used to crush them but they didn't notice me.
They just crushed you.
I don't know if I reached out to you.
I'm the one who feels that you're not pretty when you're young.
Then you suddenly get attention.
I just said yes even if it's really bad.
- Really? - Even if it's the reason.
- Later, we'll talk about our worst dates.
- It's a bit... - Oh my God, game.
- This is true.
- I'm like, "Oh my God, there's a lot of bad things." - I'm like, "There's a lot too." Because the worst thing is, I can only see one positive aspect.
I'll agree to date.
As in, as simple as, I'm not a type, but I want to eat where you invite me.
That's okay. You're free.
Admit it, you're one of us.
Hey, okay.
I guess it's different with girls.
Because at the end of the day, it's a free meal for us.
You're still going to follow me?
I'm still following you.
You're so pretty.
Makeup is your only expense.
Your makeup is free because my sister gave it to me.
I don't have a sister.
I'm just doing my own makeup.
I even gave my sister my clothes.
So I really didn't invest anything.
I just have my presence.
I'm like that too.
And then it's like...
It's so low.
It's like she's joking and then she's laughing.
So I'm like...
Let's try it.
Let's just try it.
Yeah.
Because there's no standards.
- True. - At all.
- Because there's really nothing.
- Whatever.
There were so many flashbacks, my head hurts.
- Let's not circle back. - Yes.
It's just that it's really boring.
But I'm like that again.
I felt if it was getting too serious, I'd go back out.
Because I didn't know, like, "Shit, I need to do this." Because my parents might notice that I always have someone to take me.
Our subdivision is not the main highway, so they know the sound of the car.
I didn't have a car in college so I don't want to.
I'll just let it be.
I don't want a long date.
I'll just back out.
I know what LV explains when he's hanging out.
I'm with Des.
Just message me when you say that so I know when he's hanging out with me.
Des always knows where I am.
I'm good at that.
Very good.
We're responsible for what we do.
But the standard is really low.
Explore.
You explore it.
You have to buy it, right?
You're curious. I guess it's a factor.
When we were, especially after college, because somehow you have purchasing power.
So you can already make an effort to yourself.
You have income.
It's not that much but then you can spend on your transpo.
You can somehow spend it for a meal.
You're free time?
Yes.
True.
Because it's like, okay, after work, game, done.
And especially you because you weren't going home.
We went home.
Yeah.
I'm so free.
I have a lot of time.
So you, before we go into the worst days.
It's like, it's so long.
It's like three episodes.
Because really, I'm going to force myself to make it shorter.
It's like you have a whole 10 podcasts.
I have a topic.
I should do a podcast.
I'm the one who finished airtime for this episode.
Because for me, as in the others, I'm so clueless.
Someone told me, we had a reunion.
I'm not gonna say who it was.
"Didn't you have a crush on someone before?" I thought it was just a hangout.
You don't know.
I really don't know.
Because when someone told me, I just said yes.
And when I turned off, they didn't reply.
Oh, okay.
Like a ghost -er?
Ghost -er.
- It's not labeled yet. - I can tell you weird things later.
- Later. - Later.
- I'm not in the next episode. - Okay.
- It's up to you. - I'll go first.
So the most...
Lowlights?
- Lowlights.
- The most weird one is...
- Lowlights. - He let me do a movie.
And then... I don't know. He thinks we're church people.
But I forced my parents to serve in the church because they needed it.
I was scared for my soul.
I don't know where I found out about this guy.
I met him through an event.
It was my friend's birthday and he was there.
He wanted me to do a movie but the show was...
I'm laughing right now.
It was about the fallen angel.
The message was, "I wish I could let you go but it's against our religion." It's against our religion.
But the other one replied!
It's 300? It's like 8.
It's different. It's like a gladiator.
It's like a small gladiator.
6 and then there's...
6 cuts.
But it was not meant to be because I tried but it didn't...
It didn't spark.
I told everyone that I just denied him because his abs are complete.
I didn't see his abs.
I didn't see his abs.
You should ask what Emma Stone did to him.
Stupid love.
What is that?
The one that got her.
Ah, that one.
Are those real?
She did that.
We didn't.
It's like you're photoshopped.
You know what happened there.
But we didn't get caught in the I really didn't.
We really didn't.
We really didn't.
Why?
How did you realize that it's not real?
Because it's going out.
There's no Sylvia Obstru.
So this is my feeling.
This is my fault.
For sure.
This is my fault.
I was really mad.
Because everyone I dated back then was a bad boy.
Yes.
See?
What?
You'll see.
You'll have an airtime.
That's why we have friends.
See?
The only thing is...
So I thought...
In my...
Again...
So what's your face?
Early 20s.
And they're the only people I talked to.
So, it's nothing.
You thought that was normal.
I thought that was the truth.
Because we're the only ones who are influenced by each other.
Because we're the only ones.
We're the same.
We're the same age.
Right?
So I thought that before...
You know the cool thing?
Red flags.
You know the ones that you label.
Yeah.
You'll date but he won't admit it to the people.
Yeah.
And you won't post.
Yeah.
You'll just be cool.
And you know, you'll be PDA right away.
Yeah.
You'll be PDA right away.
This guy with full abs, he's a gentleman.
In hindsight, he's nice. He's a friend.
Hi.
Hi friend.
I've known him until now.
He's happy now.
But I'm sorry. This is me. This is really my problem.
I admit it.
He's so nice.
But for those who are watching this, that's in the past.
Guys, you're happy.
It's good for stories.
You know what?
Later.
Let's go back.
I won't go into details because this is still present in our lives.
Very present in my life.
- She's my friend, by the way. - So our first date was with Tess.
- Yes. - We were in Peru.
And she's so respectful.
Sometimes when we have a date, she's right next to you.
- She's across. - Nice, okay.
- She's really nice. - Wait, when you're on a date, you need to be right next to her.
That's the problem. I thought that's how you date.
I thought you're PDA.
Why did you become friends with her?
- Because everyone I date is right next to me. - I date everyone. They're always right next to me.
I'm so sad.
First date is already a good thing for you, right?
If I wasn't LV's friend, do you think you would be?
He didn't answer.
I'm just computing.
I was molded by my experiences.
But anyway, he was so nice.
It's like in my...
In my...
I'm really laughing.
In my immature, childish self, boring.
Because, you know...
I'm not a big fan It was just not the right time.
Moral of the story.
Choose your friends wisely.
I thought it should be exciting.
The guys.
The ones who never know where you stand.
They're saying they want a good guy.
No.
In their 20s.
I'm done with that.
Age is a factor.
I'm still young.
I was really in love with him.
It was really me.
After that, I started doing sports.
I didn't date for a while.
I was surprised that they didn't see each other.
Because he didn't let me go to the E .K. with friends.
I freaked out.
It's a thing. It's our thing.
You were with him, right?
Yes, it's our thing.
Sorry. Hi.
Okay.
We didn't go to the E .K.
After that, I was with my ex before you.
My ex is new to me.
Or is it just next?
Let's go with next.
Okay, that's it.
As long as it's early 20s.
I'm the one with the problem.
So, you should be careful with 20 -year -olds.
For the 80s.
Your brain isn't fully built yet.
Yes.
I thought that was the new teenager.
Yes.
Yes.
That's true.
No, it's just that.
Because that's where people earn money.
You're exploring.
Am I right?
I thought it was exciting.
Right?
You too.
You're right.
You're more mature.
You can't be serious.
Can we do it in the mid -20s?
Maybe.
Let's do it in the mid -20s.
I don't know. It depends on the economy.
It's harder now.
So, the next episode is Des' airtime.
Yes.
So many.
This is just the early 20s.
So, the series of episodes.
We and LB will take a nap.
We'll sleep first.
You're the one who's in charge of this.
DINKWAP Show!
Not Dinkwap.
You're not Dink.
You're not Dink.
So yeah.
See you next time.
Thank you for listening.
And bye!
Bye!
You were listening to The DINKWAP Show.