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You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety.
In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery.
Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more.
Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together, let’s celebrate the transformative power of sisterhood in substance recovery!
Kathleen Killen is a registered psychotherapist (qualifying) and certified coach based in Ontario, Canada. Her practice is centered on relational therapy and she specializes in couples and working with individuals who are navigating their personal relationships.
Having been through many life transitions herself, Kathleen has made it her mission to help others find the support and communication they need in their closest relationships. To find out more about Kathleen’s work, check out her website.
Sonia Kahlon is a recovery coach and former addict. She grappled with high-functioning alcohol use disorder throughout her life, before getting sober in 2016.
Over the last five years, she has appeared on successful sobriety platforms, such as the Story Exchange, the Sobriety Diaries podcast and the Sober Curator, to tell her story of empowerment and addiction recovery, discuss health and midlife sobriety, and share how she is thriving without alcohol.
Your sobriety success story starts today, with Kathleen and Sonia. Just press play!
[00:00:00] Hi sisters, and welcome to a Q and A episode where I'll answer questions from the listeners. We got some great questions about what some people refer to as a relapse or return to use or a slip, but essentially it's when you drink after a period of abstinence. And this is really the time for acknowledging, reflecting, making adjustments, and most of all, self compassion, not shame, not guilt or criticism.
[00:00:30] These will have the opposite effect than what you're trying to achieve. So here's our question from Patricia. I've been sober for a while, but I recently ended up drinking again. I'm feeling a lot of things right now.
[00:00:41] Guilt, shame, disappointment. What should I do? So first off, it's really important to acknowledge what you're feeling and know that it's okay to have these emotions. Experiencing a return to drinking after a period of sobriety can really be tough, but it's part of many people's [00:01:00] journey. The way you're feeling right now.
[00:01:02] I know it's challenging, but it's something that a lot of us have gone through, and I'm not by any means encouraging a slip, but they can happen, and we need to know how to turn it into the fuel to strengthen our sobriety. So here are some steps on how we can navigate this together, focusing on moving forward, learning from the experience, and maintaining a compassionate approach to ourselves.
[00:01:29] First, Acknowledge, don't judge. Let's start by acknowledging that this happened. It's a fact, not a moral failing. Beating ourselves up with judgment doesn't help us heal or grow. Imagine you're observing the situation from the outside. Just noticing, not judging. This helps create a space where you can address what happened with clarity rather than through a lens of self blame.
[00:01:58] Think of it as acknowledging [00:02:00] clouds in the sky. They're just passing through. They don't define the sky. Recognize that this has happened without adding judgment or harsh self criticism and understand that many people in recovery face similar challenges. Lean on your support system. This is the time to lean into your support system, whether it's friends, family, a recovery coach, or a support group, reaching out can help you so much.
[00:02:29] Sharing what you're going through doesn't just lighten your load, but it can also provide you with perspectives that you may not have considered. And remember, vulnerability often strengthens connections. You might be surprised at how understanding and supportive people can be. Also, remember your journey can help enlighten and support others through their struggles, and that really makes your meaning your journey meaningful.
[00:02:57] And that really makes your relationships and connections [00:03:00] even more meaningful. Reflect and learn. Taking a step back to reflect on what led to this moment can be really enlightening. Were there specific triggers? Was it a buildup of stress? How did you feel at that moment? Understanding these can be the key to fortifying your recovery strategy.
[00:03:24] This isn't about dwelling on the past, but understanding it. Reflection can reveal patterns or stressors that you might not even have been fully aware of, and it will offer you a roadmap for adjustments to your strategy. It's like revisiting the scene of a stumble to understand where the obstacle was and how to navigate it better next time.
[00:03:48] Reaffirm your why. I love a good why. Remind yourself why you chose sobriety in the first place, and that can reignite your motivation. Was it for [00:04:00] your health, your family, your peace of mind, and reconnecting with these reasons can be a powerful reminder of the value of your recovery journey. Reconnecting with your why can refuel your determination and remind you of the life you're striving to build.
[00:04:19] Adapt your strategy based on what you learn, it may be time to tweak your recovery plan. Maybe that means exploring new coping mechanisms, adjusting your environment, setting boundaries with certain people or situations. You may want to really adapt. And you may even want to re evaluate your social circle or introduce new routines to your life.
[00:04:43] This isn't a sign of failure, but growth and resilience. It's about fine tuning your approach to better suit your journey. Much like adjusting the sails to navigate changing winds. So think of it as updating the [00:05:00] software to better meet your needs. Self care is key. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
[00:05:07] This isn't just about avoiding alcohol. It's about nurturing your whole self, whether it's through art. Exercise, meditation, or just watching your favorite movie, give yourself permission to enjoy and relax. These moments of self care are vital for your mental and emotional health and provide a buffer against stress and triggers.
[00:05:31] Embrace the learning curve. Every experience, especially challenging ones, offer valuable lessons. This isn't a fail here. It's about learning, growing, and every setback is a learning opportunity. This really hasn't set you back. It's just deepened your understanding of the journey and of yourself. And remember, recovery is a journey, not a destination.
[00:05:56] And there'll be ups and downs, but each step, [00:06:00] even ones that seem like there are stepping backwards, teach us something really valuable. Building resi Building resilience and empathy. Getting back on track after a slip can actually make you stronger. It's a testament to your commitment and not a sign of weakness.
[00:06:17] Plus, your experience can deepen your empathy for others in similar situations. And sharing your story can inspire and encourage not just you, but the world. those around you. It's a really powerful way to transform a personal challenge into collective strength. Let go of shame. This is so important. Shame thrives in secrecy and silence.
[00:06:43] By talking about your experience openly, you take away its power. At Everbloom, we encourage people not to hide these slips. Practice self compassion, reminding yourself you are not defined by a moment, but by your courage to [00:07:00] continue. And shame is just a shadow that grows larger and larger the more we try to run away from it.
[00:07:06] So instead, turn around and face it with kindness and understanding you are not your mistakes. Practice treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend in the same shoes. Celebrate progress. Focus on the progress you've made, not just the slip. Each day of sobriety, each moment of choosing health, is a victory.
[00:07:28] Having health. Seventy five sober days and one non sober day is a victory. Having five sober days and one not sober day is a victory. And it's really about practice, not perfection. And it's about the overall journey to a healthier, happier you. So celebrate the victories, learn from the setbacks, and keep moving forward.
[00:07:52] Stay present and take action. So concentrate on what you can do now. So whether it's attending a meeting, calling [00:08:00] a friend, or just taking a few deep breaths, action empowers us and brings us back to the present and it reinforces your commitment. So remember, experiencing a return to drinking after a period of sobriety doesn't define you, it's a chapter in a larger story, and with each step forward, you're not just moving away from your past, you're moving closer to the person you were meant to be.
[00:08:25] And always remember, you are not walking this path alone.