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Sagi Shrieber interviews mega-successful creative entrepreneurs about the strategies, tactics, and mindset needed in order to flourish in all areas in life.
The deep and diverse interviews here offer practical tips and strategies, from entrepreneurship to health and wellness, personal development, and spirituality.
Sagi: Everybody, what's up? Sagi here and welcome to the Commit First podcast today on the show, we have Dr. Nima Rahmany. Dr. Nima is a retired chiropractor that went into working with healing, based on cognitive and somatic-based tools. Basically what Dr. Nima does is, he helps people break trauma bonds and heal trauma bonds, which we will talk about on the show.
And he's talking about the connection between our fantasies of love, sex, and money and how we can heal those kinds of traumas and cure our past in order to create a better future. It was an amazing conversation, full value, and I would love for you guys to hear this. Before we do, I just want to ask you, if you love the show, please share it with someone that can benefit from this show. So thank you again and enjoy.
Sagi: Everybody, what's up? And welcome to another episode of the Commit First podcast today on the show we have Dr. Nima Rahmani. Nima, what's up?
Dr. Nima: Hey, it's good to have your presence once again, Sagi.
Sagi: Thank you brother, and great to have you on the show. I've seen your post about Rewire, which we're gonna talk about at the end.
Guys, stay with us until the end because we're gonna talk about something very cool that Nima has got going on here. But I really connected to what you said about healing past traumas and bonds that attach us and basically like, prevent us from reaching our true potential and our great.
Dr. Nima: Yeah.
Sagi: This is like something that is really limiting us. And I really believe that there's something, one thing I learned in my journey in the past couple of years is that we can also look to the future. We can look to the future and have a vision and write down our goals and achieve and pursue the future, which is very important. We cannot do it fully without releasing past traumas, and bonds that are holding us back. So talk to us a bit about your story with that.
Dr. Nima: Yeah. It's very true what you say. Everybody wants to rise and expand and emerge and have visions and goals. And unknowingly we fall into these familiar patterns. We call it self-sabotage. You build and then all of a sudden something happens and then you just feel like you're falling flat on your face. And this was me within relationships and with my business. I would always kind of reach a certain level and then boom, with a collapse of a relationship. There would be a reset with all of my growth and potential.
Sagi: Yeah. I mean it definitely
Dr. Nima: Yeah, and so what just to finish, finish the thought here without examining, what we don't look at is without examining the conditioning that's unconscious, in our conditioning, in our wiring, in our ner nervous system, in our programming, from the traumas that we've gone through, from the identity that we have taken on from unconscious parents, from culture, from religion, from society. We then start to experience these real deep frustrations in the world of love, in the world of sex, in the world of finances and money, and most people, this is why most people are experiencing a sense of dissatisfaction.
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: And so it wasn't until I hit a wall a few years ago, I had to look and said, all right, never again, I gotta figure out after my last breakdown of my relationship, I said, I thought to myself, I gotta figure out what's really in charge. I thought I was in control.
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: But when I looked, I realized there were these unconscious complexes that were keeping me, preventing me from escalating and elevating.
Sagi: And can you tell us a bit about, I know you shared it on your socials, so I feel comfortable asking you, a bit about the story that you, that you just recently or still am going through because I think that's one of the things that really qualifies you to talk about this
Dr. Nima: Yeah, totally. Yeah. My qualification is that I'm a chiropractor and I retired from chiropractic to teach people how to heal at the root cause of why they were sick. And it turns out that, those complexes that were causing them to be sick were attachment distress. Relational attachments. If you think about a relationship as an attachment, a breakdown of an attachment, a grief, a loss, losing somebody, a death, a divorce, a breakup, or a friendship breakup.
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: This is called a ruptured attachment and my situation was, in my last relationship, I was involved in what's called a trauma bond. A trauma-bonded relationship, which is when two people are bonded, it's like this fatal attraction where you can't let go. Why can't I quit you even though you're terrible for me? Even though this is not something that's good for either of us. Why can't we let go of this push and pull? This, I love you, this is amazing, the sex is amazing, and then all of a sudden, things turned really sour, and then it goes downhill, and then you push the person away and then this fight back and forth, push-pull where you're both really unhealthy with one another.
That relationship, that ended five years ago. One of my concerns about leaving that relationship, Sagi, was how am I gonna leave? I was afraid to leave because of the impact, I was afraid of what would happen if I left because I was afraid of the smear campaign. I was afraid of reputation damage. And so this was one of those energetic ties that was keeping me close. And if I left
Sagi: You two were..
Dr. Nima: You better, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We were just boyfriend and girlfriend. It was don't leave me or else I'm gonna destroy your type of situation. So I finally was able to break free and I dealt with the consequences afterward of a smear campaign and all of that. But I moved on. Got married, and have a beautiful son. We are almost celebrating in the recording of this our three-year wedding anniversary coming up
Sagi: Congrats!
Dr. Nima: And I'm still in the process of untangling it through the legal system. From this trauma bond and in that process of moving through and trying to get rid of somebody from my life who, we're in that it's very much in an attempt to keep that connection going by any means necessary.
I've learned some things. I've walked that path of breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma and looking at myself very painful, very humbling, sobering, look in the mirror as to what it was that I, who I was, that contributed to this really unhealthy dynamics.
So that number one, I could make sure I can figure out, how did I get here? Number two, how do I make sure this never happens again? And if I can, and then if I can do number one and number two, can I potentially have a healthy relationship? The answer is yes. And if I can do these three, then number four, which is how do I teach other people how to not go through the exact same pathway that I did? So that's really the backstory of why I'm teaching it.
Sagi: And I think like in most cases and I don't wanna go too much into the story about this past relationship in most cases, like when boyfriend and girlfriend break up, there's no like lawsuit. There's no
Dr. Nima: Correct
Sagi: This was probably a very attached relation to a very, you know, something there was pretty toxic in order for it to take it to court.
Dr. Nima: Oh, yeah. Oh yes. There was, in this situation, my lawyers that I've been working with took a look and said, we've never seen anything like this.
So this is one of those situations. So if you've ever been in a situation when you are trying to get somebody out of your life who really isn't wanting you to leave, doesn't wants to stay bound to you, and is using all sorts of kind of public, you know, most people go through relationship challenges in the privacy throughout their homes.
And, but I work in the public. I have a public profile, so this now happens to be a very public thing. So it was hugely embarrassing, but the benefit or the gift of that was that I kind of leaned into all of that and now what I've learned on the other side is a deep understanding of what a trauma bond actually is. What constitutes a healthy relationship and what constitutes a co-dependent toxic trauma bond with the narcissist co-dependent cycle going back and forth with the love bombing, the devaluing, the discarding, and, the nonstop kind of abuse that can happen even after the relationship ends and how to break free from it. Most important, here's the most important consideration, how to make sure that your next relationship is actually healthy.
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: How to know that to end that trauma bond and to create a secure relationship afterward is an art form. There's an art and neuroscience to it. And that was what I was curious about discovering and that's why I love teaching people how to break free from that toxic trauma bond.
Sagi: So, I think there are a couple of things that come up for me regarding, what you just said. So for once, like any relationship and like coming after, like I, I've been married for 11 years.
Dr. Nima: Cool.
Sagi: Is it already 12 years? Yeah.
Dr. Nima: Just make sure you don't
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: Just make sure you don't forget your anniversary.
Sagi: Yeah, yeah. Can't forget the anniversary for sure, but yeah. The years are passing and right, and like obviously any marriage and we have three kids and we have our challenges, right? And sometimes because men and women are so different and in the marriage long-term relationship like there's so many like powers that are pulling like, so many pressure points and conflicts that come in the story. So it's kind of like, there are many situations, right?
And I'm sharing this openly, like which, in which, like we, we get into fights. Or not in many situations where we're getting into like big fights, but we get into a lot of arguments and we are pretty much different people for us are we took a personality assessment each kinda and we're really, like on Myers-Briggs, we are like the complete opposites, and I guess there's a lot of couples like that.
Dr. Nima: Of course, yeah
Sagi: Now how do you know? So, I want to encourage people to have healthy relationships. So some people right now that are listening are in actually toxic relationships that they are probably contemplating leaving them.
And some people are in relationships that they're having just struggles, right? Like regular struggles, how do you define, just regular struggles from having, okay, this is a relationship I need to, this is a toxic bond or
Dr. Nima: Yeah. That's an impossible question to answer because everybody's really different.
How do you define a relationship? Here, first and foremost, you could be one of the lucky ones that you just found this person and that everything fits and you don't have too many problems and from what I've experienced, a relationship is between two human beings, imperfect human beings with a past.
Sagi: Exactly.
Dr. Nima: With a past, with attachment stress, attachment traumas, injuries from mom and dad, and what we do is we find a person with the exact opposite type of reflection of those woundings of injuries so that we can use the relationship to heal what was incomplete from the past.
To answer your question Sagi, we gotta redefine a relationship. Everybody gets into relationships most of the time. It's just based on a fantasy, oh, they're gonna make me happy.
Sagi: Definitely
Dr. Nima: That's not what it is
Sagi: Most people think once we get married, we're like, we'll be very, we'll be amazingly off, we'll be, we'll live happily ever after. Then they get married, they're like, oh my God, we're in a marriage? You know? And yeah
Dr. Nima: Yeah. Okay, let me just finish that thought here. Most of the time we get into these relationships, thinking that the other person is going to make us happy.
Most of the time relationships are fantasies. They're in a fantasy, and what I discovered, is that's why every relationship I was having, I was divorced back in 2011, every relationship was failed, a failed relationship because I was entering them thinking that the other person is there to heal me from my insecurities and make me happy and all of our unresolved woundings from childhood are going to be saved by the other person. And that fails miserably when we enter that with the covert agreement that that's what's gonna happen, the relationship is doomed to fail.
When I, that last relationship broke down, I had to look and realize that a relationship, marriage is actually a, potentially a container, a space to heal and to evolve and to grow together. Okay?
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: And what'll happen is, within the relationship, each of you is going to have activations or triggered from one another because of your past. Now there's an option here, you either project that past wounding onto the other person and say, why are you doing this to me? Which, you both are gonna be doing this to one another.
Or you learn the skills of understanding your wounding, your attachment distress responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. This is what happens when you get into conflict. You fight, (poke), you flight (run), “I'm getting the hell outta here”. You freeze, which is you hide or you just shut down or you fawn, which means just fixing. Let's just fix, abandon yourself and fix.
And what happens is those childhood patterns that helped you become safe in childhood cause toxicity in your adult relationships. And at some point, you gotta wake up to the fact that, that's going on, otherwise the relationship becomes unhealthy, and learn the skills of self-regulation, and then co-regulation. Otherwise, you'll be repeating that past cycle again and again. So the answer to your question is, it's very difficult to answer that. How do you know if it's healthy? It's unhealthy when you are unable to learn how to self-regulate and communicate from a place of understanding and compassion. It'll be a nightmare if you don't learn to do that.
Sagi: So I'm like, you know how some of our I mean you're like looking at, the reason I asked this is because, I had periods in my marriage where I was like, is this the right fit? Because we're so different.
Dr. Nima: Yes.
Sagi: Is this the right fit? Am I in a good relationship? Like there are the complete opposite values that you know, that she has compared to what I have in some cases.
Dr. Nima: Yep.
Sagi: In some cases, we're 100% aligned, and so what we found out, I think in the past couple of years, we really strengthened the relationship in which we each go in there in our own kind, allow each other to grow in their own paths instead of trying to fix one another.
And I think that really helped. But are you saying that any relationship can be saved if one person takes the lead and starts now healing their past traumas? And becomes that communicator? Or do you think there are some relationships in which there is, no way, to do that?
Dr. Nima: Yeah.
Sagi: I'm asking for the people I know asking themselves because there's sure are others that are like, am I in a relationship?
Dr. Nima: Yeah. That's one of my masterclass, that I have on my website is, should I stay or go? That's the most common question that I get. So I did a, I have a two-hour training just on that, how to answer that question
Sagi: Okay, nice.
Dr. Nima: So I can't answer that just one, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? So can it be, so the clients that we work with, there are times where they go, all right, you know what? This relationship, I don't think it's working. Let me do the work. The work is a deep inner work of healing their attachment to their trauma bonding, which is their unresolved attachment wounds from their ancestors, parents, and caregivers. And once they do that, all of a sudden option number one, the dynamic within their relationship completely shifts. As they shift that energy, cuz it's all energy.
Trauma is stuck, stored energy in our system. If you take on the work of shifting that stored traumatic energy through the system, your partner that used to trigger all of those past stuff, all of a sudden they'll say the thing that won't evoke the same response in you. Option number one, the dynamic shifts and arising tide lift all boats and the relationship transforms.
Now, please understand this is an ongoing process. Who knows, three years from now? It's a process, right? So the work we do is I teach people a process so that when the activations and triggers come up, then we know how to work with them internally.
So one of three things happen. The dynamic shifts and the relationship takes a pivot, and now you're in a different place. So if it survives, okay? Option number two is the shift that happens between you and the other person. You start to realize what's happened with us. You start to realize, like Pamela for example, she realizes, yeah, I've been in this situation. It's not working for me. I love you. I'm not gonna, I'm not, I don't have resentment. We have kids together. It's time for me to move on from this relationship.
And they move on, and then all of a sudden the partner goes, shit, I don't wanna lose this person. And then because they, because of the threat of loss, then they step up and they heal their shit and then they get back together. That happens as well.
Or number three, they move on and they part ways, which I've actually helped couples cuz they have kids and they wanna make sure that the relationship for the kids is good. They move on and co-parent and live parallel lives because they wanna move on.
And so the key is to get to a place, what I do is I work with people and get 'em to a place where they have an open heart and they can move on. What's the most loving thing for both parties to do? And sometimes the most loving thing is to move on. That's the question. The work is to get the person to a place where they can have a deep love for themselves.
When you have a deep love for yourself, you won't tolerate being treated less than that. So a lot of people do move on and a lot of people, the relationship dynamic completely changes. And it's a work in progress.
Sagi: Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Cool. Let's go into I think, thank you for answering that. So elaborately and also anybody was like asking this question. You gave a great resource. All right, let's go to Dr. Nima's website and just check it out. You guys can sign up for the free training or I don't know if it's free but sorry, just for the training.
Dr. Nima: Yeah.
Sagi: Okay. Yeah. Regarding what you're talking about nowadays, you're talking about like to heal the traumas that are connected to love, sex, and money. Tell me a bit about how are these three, the ones that are connected, and why, just these three?
Dr. Nima: Yeah. It was a huge revelation. I never, I had never seen it anywhere, put it all together like that, and I realized that the traumas that we go through with love that causes us to have this opinion of love, that we're not worthy of love, that we have to work for love, that love is not inherently available.
That love, that I'm bad, that I'm shameful, so I'm not a, that I'm not deserving. It's a, it's really about deserving with love. If you just move that along, because my last relationship really was mostly about sex and money. It was a transaction that was done. Sex for money and really what it was my former partner was actually a high-end escort and a madam and a sex worker.
So I, I was, was totally into that for a temporary type of experience. So I had to look at these parts of me, these aspects of myself if I wanted to heal and really unpack this relationship dynamic. And I realized that it's the same thing with sex. These opinions that why I was so drawn to somebody with a background in sex work and having a partnership with somebody who I would have as an independent contractor in my company and helping me run my company. Why did I get into that situation?
Sagi: The company, which is not in a healthy, just kidding.
Dr. Nima: Exactly. In a healthy, my company was not related to sex work. That was her other work. Why would I do that? Normally in a healthy state, that would be a red flag.
But why do we step over these red flags when it comes to love? When it comes to sex, and it comes to money? And the answer to that is "FANTASY". We have fantasies from childhood when it comes to love. When it comes to sexuality, we have sexual trauma. There is your first sexual experience. Oftentimes, there's incest with family members. This is gonna be very triggering to a lot of people, but we talk about it very openly.
Our sexual identity, our love identity, and our money identity come from past experiences, our culture. How did your parents get along? What was your first experience with sexuality? When I was younger. I, little boys, play with their penises, and my mother, of course, with her background was freaking out. She took, takes me to the doctor what's wrong with him? Type of experience, right? And so the message that I'm getting is, it's shameful. Sexuality is shameful. The human body is shameful. So what happens is this causes our psyche to split into different parts.
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: And this is where the shadow comes in. And the shadow is this unwanted, shameful part that we don't wanna look at. And unfortunately when we don't look at it, when we don't acknowledge it, it runs the show, right? It starts to direct our life. And that was what caused me to get into that last relationship and which was all a transaction, sex and money, and then throw in this kind of a misunderstanding of what love is.
And that describes my entire relationship, the last five years of trying to get out and the last few years of being in it. So the last eight years of my life have been unpacking this, really unholy union between love, sex, and money. And now I completely understand why. And so I was like, all right, how do I have good sex in a secure relationship?
And my story with money was this undeserving as well. It wasn't for us. It's all gonna be taken away, which was all down from my childhood kind of experience where we left Iran at the age of four. The Islamic Revolution came into power, and because we are Behas, we left the Holy Land, by the way, in Israel, in Akka and Haifa yeah. So I've been there a couple of times. Beautiful part of the word. Yeah, beautiful part. But we left Iran because of that reason and, in my wiring is it's all gonna be taken away from you. It's all gonna be taken away from you. Sex is bad. It's shameful. It needs to be done in secret.
Secrecy, silence, and shame. So now we have love, my experience with love, with sex, and with money completely hidden in the shadows, not looked at, not examined, and are unexamined parts tend to run the show and that was what was running the show in my last trauma bonded relationship. So isn't it interesting, Sagi, how it's all intimately woven and these are the parts of our relationships that we argue about the most, sex and money. They experience the most dissatisfaction and it's all because of our faulty wiring. And that's really how it's all related. , tell me if that makes sense to you.
Sagi: Yeah, it makes sense. I do have a question regarding sex and money
Dr. Nima: Sure, please
Sagi: I was thinking like, what are the things might people have fantasies about that are misaligned with their situation or reality or past traumas? It definitely makes sense. There are people there.
Dr. Nima: I can give you an example
Sagi: I'm just thinking about what about fame, what about success? What about those kinds of things?
Dr. Nima: Yeah. , what about them? Tell me the question that you have and I'll totally break it down for you. I'd like to help you understand.
Sagi: Sure. A lot of kids nowadays wanna be famous. They wanna be famous Youtuber
Dr. Nima: Of course, I can relate to that
Sagi: Right? So how I like, the unmet needs or, kinda like about, or the fantasies about becoming famous. Then they get to it all. They're like, they have a complex with that.
Dr. Nima: Yeah. Here's a great question. Fantasy in terms of love, sex, and money, it gets implanted to us in childhood. The fantasy comes from a reality that's unbearable. If you experience life Sagi, growing up where you don't feel seen by parents that are present and are able to be attuned to your emotional needs, because they're up in their heads and they're at in they've been impacted by their own traumas.
Yeah. If you don't experience that level of feeling seen and attuned emotionally by a conscious parent, a fantasy gets implanted with love. I'm gonna have somebody make, totally adore and worship me with money. Oh, I'm gonna be rich and famous. So now you have this fantasy of I wanna be famous, and I can definitely relate.
When I was two years old, my mother left to come to Canada with my twin brother to explore immigrating. So, my son's two years old right now. So if my wife left him for three months, would you not agree that would be a trauma on his system? Feeling not seen, right?
That's what happened to me. So fame and being seen by others became a fantasy for me, which is the answer to a childhood wound of not feeling seen. And so throw in sex with that in my last relationship, cuz I didn't have that connection with mom. So this nurturing sexual fantasy that I had with my last partner.
And now you have two fantasies there. She had a fantasy because of the fact that she was tons of childhood trauma and wounding. She left her family system at the age of 19. It was too, her mother wasn't well. She left to just get away. I've moved all the way to Japan as far as she could from home to get away from the traumas of childhood.
She had a fantasy of having a power couple dynamic. So what happens is when you get into a relationship with somebody, two people have these uncovered fantasies that they project onto one another called a shared fantasy. And this is what fuels the trauma bond, it's the shared fantasy. And so part of healing from a trauma bond is dismantling that fantasy and really finding appreciation in reality. Changing your relationship to dopamine and getting the reward of the fame or the likes and the whatever, and to really give, learn how to give that to self.
So the fame, the need for fame comes from a lack of self-love. The need for wealth comes from a poverty of self-trust. So healing this becomes a spiritual path.
Sagi: Got it. Love it. And by the way, I always feel like also being an entrepreneur is a spiritual journey.
Dr. Nima: A hundred percent agreed. Cheers to that! A hundred percent, I agree with you.
Sagi: Definitely, bro. So let's talk about this like the actual methods, like how do we heal, how do we break, trauma bonds?
Dr. Nima: The first step that people usually go through, you start with YouTube videos, which is great because you have gotta learn a process. How do you do it, is you gotta master a process.
You gotta, it's like learning to play the piano like you got, like your nervous system is an instrument. You gotta learn how to become a master of learning how to play this instrument called your nervous system. You cannot expect a therapist to do it for you. Nobody's coming to rescue you. This has to be you to do it right?
Yep. And the first step is to learn how to master your nervous system. It's an education. Healing is learning, and learning is forgetting. So you can't do it alone. You must have a guide. I mean, watching a YouTube video and reading books is good. The difference is that there is a cognitive understanding, which is an intellectual understanding of what it is.
Sagi: Yeah.
Dr. Nima: It's kind of like, oh yeah, I know that ballet is said, oh I understand salsa dancing on a cognitive level. Versus I've actually taken the classes and learned, so, to heal from it, we must learn to regulate the nervous system. We gotta understand the, and learn how to work with them. Every time you have a trigger, you have an emotional flashback that's coming up within the relationship dynamic that's polar, highly polarized energy from your past that comes up. Three-quarters of your brain shuts down. What do I do? You gotta learn how to work with this dark material that comes up every time you get activated. Yeah, you were saying.
Sagi: No, I'm saying it's really being mindful like it's really developing mindfulness to
Dr. Nima: Yeah. It's a spiritual journey.
Yeah, it's a spiritual journey. You gotta, and here's the part that everybody misses out on, and this is what I was missing out on cuz I thought I had done a lot of all the personal development work, and here's what the missing piece is that most people don't really understand. You gotta develop a relationship between your mind and your body.
So your body is the one that's making that's calling the shots. When you're in a trauma bond, your body is reacting to the external environment without a conscious connection to my body. The ability to regulate internally and to understand and connect to the knowing in my heart, I was going, I was constantly being controlled by the external.
Does that make sense? So to heal this Yeah. It's a spiritual journey of learning how it's a somatic, energetic, body-based path that I take my clients on. To learn how to regulate their nervous systems, to change your relationship to pain, to guilt, to shame. In other words, it's an emotional literacy process where the only emotions I would have before was sadness and anger.
And if I'd feel something, I would react in anger or sadness. But there's a whole bunch of other emotions in there that you can actually experience and move through and to work with whatever emotions come up. Emotional literacy, is to be able to move through those emotions, to sit in discomfort.
To communicate feelings, to be able to understand what I'm feeling, and communicating to connect to your intuition and knowing so that you know if something is good or bad or right or wrong. In the beginning of understanding, most of the clients are like, I don't know what's real because you've been told from childhood, this is the way that it is, and then you realize, wow, my version of reality, my whole identity.
My whole identity was given to me by my parents. I don't know who the fuck I am outside of what's what I've been told. This is very alarming. This is very challenging for people when they realize it. It's a dark night of the soul, and so you need to have a community and a guide.
It's like you've been born into a fishbowl with dirty water. You're saying, how do you heal from that? You gotta get out of that fishbowl. You gotta be planted into an aquarium that's clean or a garden where the soil has been toxic and deficient. You gotta remove yourself from that and put yourself in healthy soil and learn how to create a boundary around that soil that says, this is who I am.
So now when you go in different places and other people have opinions about you that are different than you, you're able to say, no, this is what I feel about me regardless, and that is a spiritual journey. So healing from trauma bonds is a lifelong path and process and it's a process I created for myself. And now I teach this to my community around the world.
Sagi: Love it. So I mean, I would love if you can maybe just go maybe a bit of what can people do today to start this process. What can I bring into my life right away in order to start healing and start identifying moments?
Dr. Nima: Yeah, well the first thing that you can do. Where do you begin? Decide where you want to go. Decide, just look at your life right now and decide who it is that you'd love to be. And this is, to heal from a trauma bond. We have to become somebody else. Decide who it is that you'd love to be, okay? And find a guide, that's doing that and then start to follow that person and start to do what, start to maybe get guidance. This is something that can't be done by yourself. However, what do I start doing now? Where would I begin?
Let's say somebody begins and they're in that space to start to develop a relationship with your body and to start to feel your emotions. Start to learn how to move through your emotions, your tears, your sadness, and your feeling into this body sense, like feeling your breath. Feeling your feet on the floor.
This is where I began. He's how do you know you wanna play basketball? It's you're asking me this question, you wanna play basketball? I wanna play in the NBA, I wanna play a game of basketball. Where would you begin? You asked me that question. I would answer by saying first start learning how to dribble. Just practice your dribbling.
Cuz it's a whole process. And so what I would do is I would start to do what's called interoceptive exercises, which is sitting and being present to the sensations in your body. Notice where you're holding onto your stress, and then start to consciously connect to those parts and release the tension from them, releasing the tension in your feet.
Releasing the tension in your shoulders, in your jaw, and the muscles of your face, and after you start developing this relationship with these parts of your body, you realize how much of your day is spent in like protection. Covering up and protecting yourself, and which is the child inside of you, feeling unsafe.
Starting to work with the child inside of you. On my website, I have a kind of free resource that you can grab and I walk you through the path of breaking this cycle. So, if you wanna know where to begin, I would start with understanding your attachment style that's on my website.
You can find out what your attachment style is. You fill out the form, find it out, and then I send a bunch of training, like start to study yourself, become the university of you, start to train. Make this your number one priority to learn how to operate your nervous system. The first place to begin starts to learn how to the different parts of the nervous system and learn what they feel like when they get activated and how to operate the machinery.
Because without that, business doesn't work. Your relationship with money wouldn't work. Your intimate partnerships, they're always, you're always activating one another. Yep. So this was critical information that I really needed to learn and so I teach what I most need to learn now.
Sagi: Yeah. No, I love it. And so I would say, the first thing is again, being mindful of your body. I think one of the things that I know in mindfulness and that my Buddhist teacher taught me is to identify when you're under stress. So when you have any feelings, where is that feeling sitting in your body? I guess it's kinda
Dr. Nima: Correct.
Sagi: It's kinda like notifying, okay, is this stress in my chest? Is it in my belly? Is it like, where is it?
Dr. Nima: That's right.
Sagi: And not try to even get rid of it as much as just notice it. No. Just give it seconds.
Dr. Nima: Just observe it.
Sagi: Just absorb it and then breathe and then, that alone will help the process. You did it once, twice.
Dr. Nima: That's the beginning.
Sagi: After a few weeks, you release that attention.
Dr. Nima: Yeah. That's the fundamental of it. That's the first step, is mindfulness of what's here. The next step of what I teach is there's a reason why that tension is there, right?
It's because your nervous system is trying to protect you from something. There's a child inside of you that doesn't feel safe. And so what I do is I teach people how to dive into that. Dive into that unsafety, and then create safety for the child inside.
Sagi: Love it. All right.
Dr. Nima: It's called reparenting.
Sagi: Reparenting. I love that. And so I know we, we gotta wrap up soon, I think one is we gave something for the people here to kinda start noticing their body and to start understanding that. And that alone is the start of the foundation, right? The foundation. Yeah. And you talked about our connection to and fantasies regarding love, sex, and money.
We understand like these are the things that we need to find out and heal. So my question is, how about because you have this whole event called Rewire that's what's what made me reach out to you. Because I saw it and I was like, okay, that, that looks awesome.
And, just to mention to anybody here, I'm not affiliated. I'm not getting paid if you guys show up to the event or buy anything. It's just that, it's just, I think it's, it sounds like an amazing event. And so can you speak to us a bit about what's going on at this event?
Dr. Nima: What it is, a three-day immersive event. Day one is you're examining your relationship to love. Where we go back and whatever frustration that you're having in the realm of love within relationships, you get to see exactly why that is. And you get to have a felt sense of understanding of the path that got you to this sense of frustration with love.
And then we begin the process of shifting that relationship within your body to love. Day two is on sex, and then we, so it's a highly triggering subject. We go back and observe what was your sexual identity. Where did it come from? What did you observe from your parents? Where did it come from? What do you believe about yourself in terms of love?
What do you, who do you think you are in terms of love and sex, the number two? And then we start the process of shifting that dynamic internally to align with something you're wanting to become. So we get the process of the wiring within the system that's been conditioned changing.
And day number three is about money. Who do you think you are in terms of money? What do you feel you deserve? What were the messages that were given to you from childhood in the afternoon, we start the process of shifting that relationship.
So day one is love. Day two is sex. Day three is money. It's only for people who are able to handle very highly activating conversations. It's really real. It's very confronting and it's very deep so the people have to be willing to look in a mirror, right? And what it does is that it shifts your relationship to those things instead of being a slave to all of those things, yeah, you now get to create it the way that you want. And then what it means is that you're no longer at the effect of unconscious programming and conditioning from generations and cultural expectations and decencies that have been implanted on you, that are now passing to your children. So you get to break that cycle for future generations. That's what it means.
Sagi: Love it. I think an amazing Event. It sounds like an amazing event. Is it hosted by the way, on Zoom?
Dr. Nima: On Zoom? It's virtual on Zoom
Sagi: Right, virtual event. Is it in I know you're in Pacific Time, right? So
Dr. Nima: Yes, it's in Pacific time, so it's going to be like Pacific Time, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So if you're in Australia it basically is like 4:00 AM to 2:00 PM Friday, Sat, sorry, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.
If you're in Israel, it's inverted time, so you're gonna have to, be willing to, it's like a vacation when you go, it's like with a vacation when you're about to fly somewhere and you're excited, you wake up in the middle of the night and do it. The people who are, people are coming from all over the world.
We have people in Europe, Australia, and North America. Yeah. They're taking it on this is like an exciting vacation and they're really committed to shifting that pattern.
Sagi: Nice. Love that. So guys, if you are just if you wanna shift that pattern, please be sure to check out this event. There's also a Facebook group that you opened Nima, about the psych that is free for all. I think one is like, how about if you can tell where people are, where can people find you? I know it's like Instagram for sure.
Dr. Nima: Yeah, and Facebook, Instagram. I'm easily findable. I have a podcast called Trigger Proof Facebook community. It's called healing love, sex, and money conditioning.
I'm sure I can give you the links there. But yeah that's the best place to begin. There's content in there for free. The information is free. The transformation is what I like to guide people whenever you're ready to shift that pattern and it's important to you and you wanna make that change.
It's like conditioning. The sooner you begin. You'll start to see results sooner. It's not gonna happen overnight. And it's a work in progress for life. So I teach you the process. Love that.
Sagi: So everybody @drnima on Instagram you'll be able to find all the links that you need to the website, to the Facebook group.
To the event, like everything is on Instagram @drnima or just search Google for Dr. Nima Rahmany and Nima, bro, thank you so much, man. It was an amazing time.
Dr. Nima: Thank you for having me.
Sagi: Super interesting topic man
Dr. Nima: Yeah, great conversation.
Sagi: I just, I think I'll get you on again to explore the topic even further after the event and yeah, thank you so much.
Dr. Nima: Anytime, brother. Thank you. All right.
Sagi: All right, guys. Was this awesome or what? I really enjoyed the show, with Dr. Nima. So guys, if you enjoy the show again, please share it with anybody that you might know that can benefit from this. We all have our healing to do and so many people would benefit from this show.
Please share it. That would mean the world. Talk about a share it, rate as an iTunes, Spotify. It would just get the show to more people and make this show grow and just to remind you guys that if you wanna improve yourself and have positive statements that can help you grow, get Affirmations & Co. On the App Store.
It's our app. It's out, it's on the App store. If you haven't got it yet, please get the app and try it because you would love it. And what if you do, by the way, just follow me on the app. You'll be able to follow other people as a social network. All the affirmations I have lists there for my gratitude lists and my prayers and my vision and goals.
And just that is besides, all the affirmations for my business affirmations and my money information, my relationship affirmations, and all those affirmations that I work with on a regular basis and I get notified by the app on a regular basis. So guys, if you like affirmations and if you are into personal development, you should definitely get this app.
Thank you again for listening to the show and see you on the next episode. Peace!