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Are you ready to take the steps necessary to thrive? Join us every episode as host Adam Gragg discusses what is holding us back and how to move forward with purpose, along the way developing healthy relationships and navigating life transitions while overcoming fear, stress and anxiety. Adam is a family therapist, mental health professional and life coach helping individuals and organizations find the transformational clarity that unleashes hope. Live the life you want, the legacy you decide.
Ep128
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Adam Gragg: [00:00:00] This is the second part of our series on Relationship Building Actions. I'm your host Adam Gragg with Brent Coppock. If you haven't checked out the first part, you want to check that out. Really great stuff from Brent. I found it so helpful we split into two different episodes. It just flowed. A lot of great content there.
Check that out. You'll really enjoy this episode as well. Talk to you [00:01:00] soon.
Okay, so the five love languages, there's words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service Receiving Gifts, and then Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and then 100 bills. No, I'm just kidding. That's part of Receiving Gifts right there. What's the fifth one?
Come on.
Brent Coppock: Words of Affirmation, did you say that?
Adam Gragg: Yeah, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service. Receiving gifts. Physical touch. Physical touch. Yeah. Okay. Physical touch. Rubbing their, painting their toenails. Doing all that. Whatever. Giving back rubs. Yeah. Yeah. Shoulder rubs. She likes that. She, from you, she probably doesn't like it from a stranger.
Right. Yeah. Or maybe she does. Does she ever get massages?
Brent Coppock: She does. She started recently. Yeah. Cool. In the last year or two. ~Oh, dude.~
Adam Gragg: I'll have to get the name of whoever it is that she goes to. It's, yeah. Is it? Yeah. She has a
Brent Coppock: lot of stuff. Stress, inner, inner, yeah, so yeah,
Adam Gragg: I like that. That's cool. So what other [00:02:00] activities or how would you have a client engage that activity first of all, and then what other activities would you maybe recommend after the first few sessions?
Brent Coppock: So another one, so this is actually from one of my clients. ~They, they, ~I think they would have been married like ~60 plus years. They're a former client, ~plus years. And one thing they told me is the best thing you can do for your marriage is go for a walk. ~Mm hmm. ~And man, that is spot on, because as you're walking, you can hold hands.
There's your physical touch. If you're quality time, you're spending time together. So you got that. If you're talking, you can do words of affirmation. I mean, you can nail almost all of them just in that.
Adam Gragg: And you get a great Christmas picture if you're walking with your whole family holding hands, you know, hands like that I think you sent me a Christmas card when you're y'all holding hands like in the fall, right walking through the park like someone just casually caught that
Seven people in the park holding hands ~All right, those pictures like they're almost get like four or five of those every year, you know Like that guy, man, ~those photographers catch [00:03:00] people right in action. That's good.
Brent Coppock: So
Adam Gragg: yeah, that's a really cool. So going on a walk. What else?
Brent Coppock: Yeah, that's I think.
Adam Gragg: Oh, hike would qualify too.
Brent Coppock: Hikes. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to talk about the hike story?
Adam Gragg: Let's take your, let's hear your hike story. ~This is great. ~
Brent Coppock: ~So, yeah, ~so, and this goes along with talking about doing hard things, doing the hard of calling somebody, you know, and so I love Colorado, ~I mean, ~that is my happy place.
I love hiking. And so sometimes I get my family in over their head. And so we were going on this hike and I kind of ~miss, ~misjudged the length of this hike. So my boys were, they were all little guys ~at the, ~at that time, probably like three, five, seven, ~you know, ~I'm not sure. ~Yeah, probably, ~probably somewhere in there.
They're fairly small. little guys. ~And, ~and uh, so we're hiking and we're hiking and we're hiking and we're hiking. And, you know, [00:04:00] one by one they start grumbling. And even my wife eventually, ~yeah, you know, ~started grumbling. And so we would stop and ~we, you know, ~we always have snacks. And so we would pass out snacks ~and, ~and then I would try, you know, Oh, I wonder what's ~around this, ~around this corner.
Cause it was just switchbacks, ~you know, ~And so ~I, ~I bet it's just around this next corner. ~And ~I mean, it was really starting to question if we were going to make it. I mean, ~it was, yeah, ~it was a lot of weeping and gnashing of teeth. ~And~ but finally we come around this corner and there's this beautiful mountain Lake, there's a waterfall and a little pool.
And we were able to use our little We have this pump, you know, that filters the water and refills the water bottles. Yeah, yeah. The boys, they got all excited about that, ~you know, and, and so we get, get that filled, ~you know, and then ~as, ~as we're doing, kind of finishing up that, there's a huge rock there.
My boys are climbing, they love to climb on rocks. And so they climb on this rock ~and, ~and they find this dead bat.
Adam Gragg: Not a dead rat, [00:05:00] a dead bat, B A T, A dead bat. And so ~they're, you know. And ~they're playing with it.
Brent Coppock: Yeah, so we have a picture of them, ~you know, ~on this rock, staring at this bat. ~And I mean, you know, ~you look the other direction and there's this beautiful mountain lake.
~Huh. ~I mean, it was amazing. ~Yeah. ~And my boys are looking at a dead bat. ~and ~We hike back down, ~you know, ~and we're high fiving. I'm like, you guys are awesome, rock stars, you know, I can't believe you did that. Wasn't that cool? ~You know, and, ~and all they can talk about is the dead bat.
Adam Gragg: That's the great part.
So, you never know, you do hard things, you go first, you help them to keep pushing forward, and then you have this experience you'll never forget. Yeah. And like, they'll be joking about the dead bat when they're 35 or 40, or you can probably, tell the best man of their weddings or their, you know, maid of honor about that story.
They can share it to embarrass them. And
Brent Coppock: they don't talk about all the waterfall going up.
Adam Gragg: No,
Brent Coppock: exactly. Beautiful stuff that I saw. It was because they got there and they pushed through.
Adam Gragg: Yeah. And people don't remember if you remember that at the end, you do the right thing. You keep doing the right thing and you keep doing first, keep pushing forward at the [00:06:00] end, which I mean, ~I, ~I can't tell you how difficult.
of situations that I've pushed, had to like just by friends and just faith get to the other side that I get to see now I can use it to help other people and you have the same kind of experiences in your life ~like ~and you push through and you see that there is light at the end of the tunnel ~and it may be a dead bat but it's like you know like it's like uh crazy stuff to think all these stories and memories you Which is so great, but you can't control it, right?~
Brent Coppock: Yeah.
Adam Gragg: It's like you can't control it. It may be when you go on this road trip and the car breaks down and you end up, you know, whatever, you know, begging for gas somewhere. Like, I mean, I have great story. I do have a great story about running out of gas. Right? Like, just running out of gas and my buddy, like, who is notorious for doing this, Dave, did it again, like, you're gonna push on camping trips.
Like, this is crazy. He, I think I mentioned, he, you know, he keeps a can of gas in his car now. He has to, man. He's ridden out of it so many times. It's so stupid, but it's crazy. It's funny. I shouldn't say stupid, sorry. I'm not saying that. But I don't want to be equal to that, right? I don't want to be, I want to get gas in time.
Come on, but I do other stuff like I'm [00:07:00] late all the time and everything, but
Brent Coppock: yeah,
Adam Gragg: I've been, I've been on that though. I'm telling you, it's getting to bed on time has helped me a lot. So how do you handle resistance with clients and your kids? Let's say clients when they don't want to do this stuff or they come back and they haven't actually done it and they say initially that they're going to do it, but they don't do it.
~Right? Yeah.~
Brent Coppock: Yeah. So, ~I mean, you know, ~I think. ~You know, ~having them focus, ~you know, ~on what their goal, you know, bringing that. Okay. So this is what you said, ~you know, ~you wanted to do. This is the goal you had. And then is it still, ~you know, ~what you want to do and how are you going to get there? ~You know, if, ~if you don't actually do the things.
You say you want to work on,
Adam Gragg: because it's ~obviously ~not what they wanna do.
Brent Coppock: Yeah.
Adam Gragg: Right.
Brent Coppock: So for me like, man, I don't know, 25 years ago, 25 plus years ago, I decided I wanted to read the Bible in a year I'd never done. I've never read it, ~you know, ~for myself, front to back, cover to cover.
And I just, I wanted to do it. And so I got this [00:08:00] Bible and this Mark, you know, you read from here to here each day and you'll, you'll get there. Right. And that would do really good through the week, but then weekends, holidays, vacations. I would just forget, you know, I would get up and get started doing something else, you know, cause my routine's different and I would just forget.
It wasn't, I didn't want to. And so I heard a guy say one time, he, he never eats breakfast until he reads his Bible. And I was like, that's it. Cause I don't miss a meal. I mean, I'm, you I don't miss meals. I'm hungry all the time. I eat.
Adam Gragg: You don't snack though much, do you?
Brent Coppock: No,
I eat my meals and yeah, but I don't miss meals.
And so, so I was like, I could do that because when I, my stomach started growling, you know, if it was, if I was out of my schedule, you know, and got doing something in my stomach growling, I'd be going and I'm like, Oh, wait a minute. Read my Bible yet. So it wasn't like some kind of thing I beat myself up over.
It was just a reminder, like setting my alarm to wake up, you know, in the morning, you know, it's just, it was just a reminder. And so for me, just doing that over and over and over, I got to where it [00:09:00] was, it's not even it's not even a thought anymore. It's just, I just do it. And so there may be that thing you have to figure out.
What is it that I need a reminder To be able to do what I want to do, ~you know, like~
Adam Gragg: it's an, if I like to call it as an, if then plan, if this happens, then I, so if I wake up or if it's before breakfast, then I read my Bible, you know, so like, like, you know, I, I thought, you know, With talking to my parents, I've had this if then plan in place where if I have a conversation with the parents, then I'm asking them a curious question.
~That's something I don't know about them. ~Like yesterday, I asked my mom about her neighborhood when she grew up in El Paso, and I learned something. I learned how close to Mexico she lived, which she grew up in a neighborhood. She's told me the name, but also learned that she had one bathroom and two bedrooms with her sister.
So her, her mom and dad had a bedroom, her sister had a bedroom and that It was interesting to hear, like, that they could actually see the Hills of Juarez from the area where they, which is kind of cool. Like, cause I always knew she was really good at cooking [00:10:00] Mexican food, but I didn't know how close she was.
Like, that's really close. And she moved when she was 12 or 13 to Sacramento. Cause her dad worked for the railroad, which by the way, I have his, I have her dad's watch when he retired, which is cool. A gold watch. I don't know if it's really worth much. ~Cause if it, you know, he, Yeah, and I could share more, but that's an if then plan.~
That'd be the action I would challenge you to do, to take. It's like create an if then plan. Like if this happens, then I'm going to do something that's an action to build a relationship with people. So let's go to the third essential here. Oh, before I do that, hit the link to Shatterproof yourself. You're going to get in this mini course, you're going to get tools for building great relationships.
relationships, actually, because that is the sixth, seventh step of the seven small steps to a giant leap in your mental health is to build true friends, healthy friendships. And so there's seven steps here. And this is a process that I take clients through. It's a very practical, simple way. This is Shatterproof Yourself Light.
30 minutes and a worksheet, four page worksheet, you fill in the blank. It's helpful for a workplace team, individually, [00:11:00] a marriage, a couple, a family. ~It's kind of that is it's an, it's a, ~it's a very broad usage tool hit the link to get Shatterproof yourself.
So Shatterproof Yourself Lite. And by the way, another cool thing is the Decide Your Legacy app is launched, you can get it on the app store and you can download that, set up an account and you can go through Shatterproof Yourself Lite on the app. And there's some bonuses in the Shatterproof Yourself Lite free version that you can check out.
One of them is called Daily Actions and it's an awesome worksheet that it's stuff I've been doing for 15 plus years. And I want all clients to engage that you can fill out and download and do on your own. It's a daily five and five. It also has the. Three and three at the end of the day has the life wheel on there.
Check out 15 minutes, you know, when you engage in each area of your life wheel. So you don't want to miss that as well and it's free. ~So cool. Good stuff right there. So this, ~the third essential is to do the hard, right? Instead of avoiding stuff, you actually engage it and you do it. And so the word decide means so much to me because it's like a burning the boat moment where you're saying that I'm committed to [00:12:00] this thing.
You know, it's your vows. ~You know, ~it's like ~you're, you're, ~you're only going and getting married, I hope, if you're saying, I'm not going to get divorced from this person. Like, this is not an option here for me to quit. I'm going to do the hard, no matter what, ~no matter. ~And I know there's exceptions. I mean, I speak as somebody who has a failed marriage and somebody ~who, ~who had things happen.
They never thought could actually have, ~I'm not, I'm not so. Rigid and legalistic, ~but I didn't get in and I didn't go in and I never had the mentality that I was going to give up on the thing, ever. I mean, really, reality is like, and so, so if you can do the hard and have that kind of mentality, it's the right thing you're going to do, then It's significantly important to building progress now and taking action.
So I think about some of the close relationships I have, and one of them is the podcast engineer right now, Brian, who I got close to through a small men's group that I had been engaging in for, I don't know, maybe 20 years. Like we met. ~for ~consistently, and I still meet with really all the guys that I've been with.
I still meet with consistently in that [00:13:00] group, but I don't know. When did you start? I mean, ~it was a, ~it was a men's group that we met in Brent's basement, probably starting in the early 2000s, I would guess, right? 20 years ago, maybe,
~maybe. Yeah. ~When did you buy
that house?
Brent Coppock: It was ~been ~one years ago. Okay. ~Yeah. ~So it was in that
Adam Gragg: house. Yeah. So, ~but I was thinking it was a pretty new house when we started meeting there anyway. So~
Brent Coppock: yeah, 20 years. ~Yeah.~
Adam Gragg: Right. And so in the, I mean, meeting at 5 30 every week, that's kind of not easy to do. 5 30 AM. Yeah, exactly. ~So, so what to you does it mean?~
What is this do the hard concept all about?
Brent Coppock: One of the biggest things ~I want, that ~I've been ~kind of ~wrestling with for years now, is there's no escaping hard. ~I mean, ~life is hard~ in fact, ~we were talking with some friends one time about this and I was like, you know what, I think that if it's not hard, you're probably not doing something right.
You know, it'd be a time to get curious and it's like, what's going on? Because life is hard. And it happens two different ways. It can [00:14:00] be being intentional and doing the hard work up front and then like the hike, you know, you get experience the beautiful lake, you know, after you get to the top of the mountain. Or you're going to avoid the hard And then you suffer the hard consequences, and there's no, there's no beautiful lake at the end of that, it's just hurt and pain. Just a dead bat. Yeah.
Adam Gragg: But the dead bat's on the trail going up.
Brent Coppock: Probably a lot of dead things at the bottom of that.
Adam Gragg: You'll get to see the dead bat.
~Right,~
Brent Coppock: so, ~yeah, so, you know, either, ~either way is gonna be hard. Yeah, it's just what ~you know, what do ~you want at the end of it? You know, like you said, you know, you do the hard work and then you get the satisfaction like wow, I did that ~You know, and~
Adam Gragg: oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean I was afraid to ask my mom that question But at the end of that I learned a whole bunch of new stuff But I think the do the hard to me is you're not living in fear and succumbing to the fear which is to me is So much worse It's like staying in that job where you know, they could set you up to fail at any point if they just don't like you, right?
Like, that's so much [00:15:00] worse than like making no money. ~I mean, I mean, to me, it's like, it's like, dude, okay, ~I would much rather have my health and my family and my life than to be in a situation around toxic, crazy people, you know, like, okay, whatever. But
Brent Coppock: the heart in there would be, you know, looking for a different job, right?
Adam Gragg: The heart would be looking for a different job, but the moment you start looking for a different job, the fear is going to dissipate because you've taken an action to do something. That's why I say they're actually opposing. They're not the same thing. You're not doing the hard is actually decreasing my anxiety in the process.
You know, this is hard getting up early or it's not early for you or me, but I mean, we started as a 7 a. m. We were in here. It got a little stuffy. Now it's cool. You know, ~this is, ~We got a lot of content to cover. It took us rearranging our schedules, making it work, but we didn't give in to all that and the inconvenience and everything we got here.
And then ultimately you do something like this and you're like, this can help other people, which always motivates me to say, like, it's worth it.
Brent Coppock: Right. And there's always the, is it really helping? You know, just like you said, if you're speaking, you know, it was [00:16:00] like, Am I really helping them?
Adam Gragg: Dude, well, they're paying me.
Well, maybe that doesn't mean I'm helping. I'm like, Oh, I
Brent Coppock: know, you know, there's still fear. Even there is, ~you know,~
Adam Gragg: the hard part of that is like, just to talk to reach out and say, Hey, I'm struggling or to be vulnerable with someone and say, like, this is going on in my life or to really try and work on it.
~Like, go ahead. Cause ~Cause I know a lot of times when I'm insecure about something, it's because that fear, I haven't done enough work to prepare yet.
Brent Coppock: Yeah.
Adam Gragg: Really? The reality is if I spent a couple hours during the day just preparing to speak, I'm not going to feel that fear at the end of the day. Right. ~Right.~
~And so.~
Brent Coppock: And it's with practice, right? Right. You've done it. And each time you, you're able to climb up to that lake, you know, I can do another one, you know? Yeah.
Adam Gragg: Then you can climb up and see the beautiful lake ~and the dead dog. Yeah. Well, hopefully not, or the, whatever. That's a bad joke. ~But you're going to see whatever on that hike.
Something crazy or like, you know, maybe it's a lightning strike. And all you do is think about that. ~Which ~
Nate, my buddy,
Nate, like decided to want to cut switchbacks years ago on Pike's Peak. Right. And then we ended up crunched down in this lightning storm. Well, we get lost first of all, and then we're [00:17:00] delayed.
And so we're like. Not beating the storm, the bad weather, then we're in the A frame right there on Pike's Peak, you know, crunched in there with some strangers, but we did meet some cool people. If that would be, yeah, but that's the best part of the memory. It's not getting to the top of Pike's Peak, it's the fact that we got lost.
Yeah. And then, you know, the last part with the lightning, you know.
Brent Coppock: One thousand golden steps or whatever they call that.
Adam Gragg: Oh, dude, isn't that amazing? Horrible. It's horrible but it's great.
Brent Coppock: It was one of those experiences like with my boys like, well, maybe you're on this corner and there's just another one.
Oh, they did that one with you too? No, just haven't done that. Yeah. It just made me remember. ~Yeah. ~Hiking Pikes Peak. ~Yeah. ~Yeah. There's just another one.
Adam Gragg: Oh man. ~And yeah.~
Brent Coppock: And then to get narrow and dude, then you, I
Adam Gragg: mean, in the Pike speak, what I think that, and I think, I think, well, then people run up this. I mean, and some of them have been my clients, you know, you are, I mean, like, it's like, you know, how do they do that?
That's insane. Whole nother level, but it's really cool. So how do people change the pattern of wanting [00:18:00] to not do the hard and to avoid and actually leaning in and not playing it safe any longer if they want to. Because they tell you, let's say they come to you and ask, hey, Brent, I want to stop avoiding all this stuff, you know, like I go home and I don't, I disengage and I watch TV or I drink a 12 pack or what do I do?
How can I stop? You know, like, ~and then ~they have a goal in mind, like, well, I want to be making side business, side hustle kind of thing. I want to be doing this with my family, but they don't.
Brent Coppock: Yeah, we kind of touched on a little bit is just deciding, and finding things that you can remember.
And I think, another piece ~is ~is scheduling it, right? If you don't, I mean, I don't know about you guys, but for me, ~I, ~if something's not on my calendar, it doesn't get done, right? And so even if it's something I really want to do. If I don't get it on my calendar, it's not happening.
Adam Gragg: That is such a big deal.
Brent Coppock: And so, you know, yeah, just scheduling.
Adam Gragg: Dude, it's so good. Like I have let clients get out of my office way too many times without scheduling whatever it is they're talking about. So when are you going to put it on [00:19:00] your calendar? ~Yeah. ~Do it now.
Brent Coppock: Right. You
Adam Gragg: know?
Brent Coppock: ~Yeah. Right. ~Yeah. Like you are not leaving my office until you do that.
Well, let's do it right now. Exactly.
Adam Gragg: Are you texting your wife, get the date planned? Where does she want to go? Put it in your calendar. ~You can't leave until, you know,~
I mean, if I, that's one motivating thing to like make sure you have enough time between clients so you can make sure they get this stuff on the calendar because they will not, the progress people make when they put it down somewhere, ~it's like if you, ~if you put it and you write it down, it's kind of like verbalizing something like verbalizing a goal and writing it down or verbalizing an emotion and naming it and writing it down.
is such a powerful, the words and language mean a lot. Concrete, I'm taking an action to do something different. So, okay, ~you want to have, ~you want to remember to encourage your team? Well, when are you going to do it?
Brent Coppock: You know?
Adam Gragg: So by the day to day, who are you going to encourage and how?
Brent Coppock: Right. ~You ~
Adam Gragg: ~know? All right.~
Write it down, put it in your calendar. So, well, that's so silly. Why should I have to write down that I'm going to encourage my vice president of marketing? He gets paid a lot of money. He gets paid a lot of money. Well, ~because ~do you want your business to be a happy place with a culture where you want to go to [00:20:00] work and everyone else where you're not going to die young?
Yeah, well then go ahead and encourage him. Well, what is he good at? Well, he's really a good dad, you know, and he really is good at solving problems. Well, tell him, tell him, man. You don't have to be weird about it. Just tell him. ~So, ~okay, I'll do it by five o'clock today. ~All right. Then I'll tell him like, ~call me once you're done.
So you or email me. I'm your accountability here. Dude, that's my style. So if you hire me as a coach, you're not unfamiliar with this kind of stuff. ~You know, like, ~you know, that if you're, I'm taking your success very seriously. And so ~like you're, you're, ~you've already put skin in the game by committing to coaching and paying and all that.
~So now, you know, ~I'm going to hold you accountable to this stuff. I'm not going to beat you up or shame you or judge you. It's going to be safe. You know, it's safe, but you also know you come back, I'm going to ask you about it. ~So ~What's an example of doing the hard that you can think of personally, professionally?
Somebody doing that that you haven't already shared?
Brent Coppock: Man, there's so many things, but recently, ~Well, it was ~last fall. I learned a lot of stuff in my master's program, you know, did a [00:21:00] lot of work. And then last fall, I was in a group where we got a lot more intentional about working on those things ~that, ~that I had.
~You know, ~uncovered, right. And really did some intentional work ~and, ~and just really sharing. Well, being able to get to the root of the wound and then being able to share that in a group of people ~that was, ~that was pretty, you know, uncomfortable. And yeah, ~but, ~but doing that and then being able to have them speak into me what I didn't get back then was huge healing. So it was a, it was a hard experience. And there was great value in it. ~And, ~and what I've gained since then from that, I mean, I recognize there's still more of that that needs to be done. And after that experience, I had another experience with~ And I was, somebody to me that~ somebody close to me that I was trying to connect with somebody close to me that I was trying to share [00:22:00] deeply with, because I was concerned for them.
~And it was, it was, I was, you know, yeah. ~Trying to connect with them because of my concern for them. And they weren't able to go there. And it was a really vulnerable~ it was in a, ~it was in another group situation. And ~I mean, so it was pretty out there. And then but ~fortunately the, moderators were able to kind of recognize what was going on and be able to speak into me even though the person couldn't.
And ~then ~since then, ~you know, you know, ~I ~had ~felt like I got that from the group. And ~then ~since then there's been signs of, it wasn't a safe environment, but I still had that experience with the moderators to where it was still another healing experience, even though ~it didn't have the outcome. ~The outcome wasn't, you know,
Adam Gragg: which I think is so incredibly important because people will often go ahead and do the hard if they know the outcome is going to be good.
~Right. ~Right. They won't do it if it's not, or they think it could. Okay. So I'll do that knowing that the outcome is going to be good. I'll make sure I go skydiving, but only if you can guarantee the shoot's going to come [00:23:00] out and it's going to be, I'm not going to bounce. ~Right. Whatever your break. Yeah. ~So, and if you know something that might be hard, a lot of times, if you ask yourself, what I find is that how am I going to feel 10 days after I do this?
Even if it doesn't go well. Right. How am I going to feel? ~And that's a mindset thing. ~But will you be able to say that I grew and I did something? Because that fear, you have the fear that's going to go and dissipate because you do hard or you're going to avoid. And you're going to have the fear that's going to grow and grow and grow because you continually have it compound.
Brent Coppock: Right. ~And~
Adam Gragg: like when you wake up in the morning every day, what I find is that you have a fear that you want to face, that it's something that's hard, that's glaring, whether it's something personal, professional, financial, your health, anything. But if you don't do it, ~You know, ~if you start the activity of actually facing it, it's going to decrease the fear, right?
It's going to automatically stop, stop growing and you're going to know. And then by the end of the day, you face something that's really big and you've grown, even if it didn't go incredibly well,
Brent Coppock: you
Adam Gragg: know, like I've had to face some things with. Business wise that have been hard. ~I mean, I, ~I do one thing and then it opens up another issue that I got to clean up.
~I got to clean up and you know, other one on my team knows what I'm talking about here that, you know, it's like, but ~I'm facing it and I'm dealing with it. And it's the anxiety is decreasing, [00:24:00] although it looks like it's getting messier, but it's not. It's not, because I know long term and all you guys in the queue as well, you know what I'm talking about.
Because, and that's the support group of guys that I meet with once a month for a whole day and then hang out with during the month because they all own businesses and we feed and help each other. But they've challenged me in so many different ways, ~doing hard, ~having hard conversations, but mainly saying, Adam, you got to do the hard,
Brent Coppock: you
Adam Gragg: ~know, or else you're going to have consequences down the road.~
That fear is telling you when you wake up that there's something you're avoiding that you got to face. So, put something, an action you can take here is put something on your calendar that's hard that you're going to do in building a relationship. In summary, ~let's, ~the benefits to facing things relationally, to doing the hard, I mean, here's three things essentials to keep in mind to grow relationships.
The actions you can take, psychological safety, ~create, ~make it safe to connect, ~safety, ~go first, be intentional, ~go first, ~and then do the hard, which is ~hard. But Also ~much easier down the road. So Brent, thanks for being here today. How can somebody reach you professionally? Can you ~kind of ~share with them how they might do that?
~So~
Brent Coppock: you can call my office [00:25:00] 316 239 1880 or they can email me ~if they want to talk to me personally. ~It would be Brent at AxiomCounseling. com.
Adam Gragg: And that's Brent at A X I O M
counseling
Adam Gragg: C O U N S E L I N G. com and 316 239 1880. ~So. ~Action for you to take today, as I talked about how the Decide Your Legacy app is on iOS.
It's going to be coming out on Google as well. That's your call to action. Download it, get it, go through the content. Even if you've gone through it before, I'm actually redoing and refining even the light version. ~It's kind of cool as we grow. I do the hard and then I refine it. So, okay. And so you can get that there.~
You got videos of me talking and worksheets, downloadable. You can share it with your team. Awesome stuff. I think because I put it together and I really believe in this stuff because it's the stuff that I share with people and I've seen work. There's a lot of junk out there, a lot of stuff that'll make you more anxious if you engage in it.
I mean, I'm telling you, if you do the hard, you do this stuff, it's going to make a big difference in your life. If you don't have an Apple iPhone kind of thing, ~you can get and ~you can set up an account and ~you can ~go through Shatterproof yourself light on your [00:26:00] own by hitting the link through the website on the web version as well And you can share that with your friends as well So also I will tell you this if you do like this podcast episode share it with one friend Just one person out there say hey, I like this It was helpful share it with one friend.
~And then if you really like us as well Just give Spotify wherever you get podcast content It helps it grow organically to reach more people ~Remember 20 percent of transformational change is or less, actually, is insight. You're getting content, insight, information today. 80 percent plus is action. An okay plan you act on is a hundred times better than a perfect plan that you do nothing with.
What resonated with you most today, I challenge by the end of the day, apply something that you learn and teach it to somebody else. I'm going to sign off today the way I always do. Make it your mission to live the life now that you want to be remembered for. 10 years after you're gone, all right? So you decide your legacy, nobody else.
I appreciate you greatly, and I'll see you next time.
[00:27:00]