We Watched "The Monkey King (2023)"

See you next Tuesday.

Creators & Guests

Host

Luciano

Life is like a baboon's ass: colorful and full of shit...

M

Host

Matt

S

Host

Spencer

What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?

Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!

Matt (00:00.362)
Hello and welcome to Pop Going on Plot Holes, the podcast where we talk about movies that are fun and interesting, but not this week, because someone's made a Watch This Way to Fucking Children's movie. Luciano.

Luciano (00:09.307)
Jesus Christ!

Spencer (00:13.294)
Hehehehe, wow.

Luciano (00:15.79)
Listen, I just floated the idea, you guys accepted it. No, it was mine.

Spencer (00:18.582)
Whoa, I thought this was Chris's idea. Oh my God, you're gonna hear it out. Chris, I thought was safe today.

Matt (00:23.47)
See exactly. You see.

Luciano (00:25.372)
Listen, you made us watch Matrix 4. You do not get to complain.

Spencer (00:29.214)
Yeah. And I'll and I'll take accountability for my sins, but you're taking the bullet on this one.

Luciano (00:38.398)
Oh, that's fine.

Matt (00:41.266)
You've heard our two returning guests slash co-hosts. I don't know what to call these people. Chris, no, you're not immortal. We definitely gave you the elixir of mortality, just to be sure. Not again. Chris is not joining us this week. And he knew better not to watch this movie somehow. So.

Spencer (00:49.407)
God Kings.

Spencer (00:56.397)
Oh no, not again!

Luciano (01:01.284)
Because he hates all of you that are listening.

Luciano (01:07.513)
Actually, he said he said last week is I really want to watch it. I'm going to watch it regardless. We should let him.

Matt (01:10.854)
He should not. Listen, sorry, I shouldn't bury the lead. Maybe he watched it. Lucille's gonna go to his house and turn off that one movie on Netflix. See if he listens to the podcast. Hey Chris, if you listen to this podcast when you're not on it, tell us if you watched the movie or not.

Spencer (01:14.766)
What do you mean, let him? He's gonna watch it if he wants to watch it. We should let him out of his cage for a day.

Luciano (01:21.992)
Now I mean we shouldn't dissuade him is what I mean.

Spencer (01:24.599)
I'm sorry.

Luciano (01:30.638)
Ha ha you dumb idiot

Spencer (01:31.29)
Yeah. And if you are listening to this episode, Chris, turn it off and watch the movie, because it's great and it's worth watching. Wink.

Luciano (01:38.721)
hahahaha

Matt (01:41.214)
Well that's a great excellent segue into A. What the movie is, The Monkey King. And B. Spencer you're regaling us with a lovely anecdote. Probably the most positive thing we're about to say about this movie before we start of the episode. Do you want to just tell us?

Luciano (01:46.752)
Ayyy

Spencer (01:47.574)
Oh yeah.

Spencer (01:57.954)
That's true. Well, this is the first movie on the podcast that I could watch with my son. He's three years old and I was like, Oh, this is, I know I do. I knew nothing about it, but it said family film. So I put it on and, and he's never, I've actually never watched like a movie with him. I watched a lot of like TV, like Paw Patrol stuff kind of thing. Anyways, we watched it in like the first fight scene with what's his name, demon of havoc.

Luciano (02:03.793)
Nice.

Luciano (02:25.356)
The Demon of Havoc.

Matt (02:27.382)
Shake cheese, dad.

Spencer (02:27.634)
And yeah, and my son, my son like, turned like kind of curled away from it, the TV and into me and was like, no, my son speaks French and English by the way. He's like, nip I like it. He's scary. Yeah. I made very, very fly English. Nip I like it. And I was like, Oh, okay. And I turned it off. And then he was like, no, I'm like the monkey.

Luciano (02:39.148)
Ha ha.

Luciano (02:43.336)
Nah, oh, your son is a Cadian.

Spencer (02:54.626)
I was like, okay, you want me to put it back on? And he's like, yeah, and I put it back on and he pushed through and he watched it all. And yeah, exactly. So this will go down in my memory as the first movie I watched with my son. Thanks a lot, Luciano. Could have been Toy Story, could have been, yeah, it could have been one of the all time great kids films, instead it's the fucking Monkey King.

Matt (02:56.455)
Ha ha.

Luciano (03:02.176)
You're welcome, Spencer.

Matt (03:10.987)
Whoopsie!

Luciano (03:15.845)
It's a mixed bag.

Luciano (03:20.063)
It could've.

Matt (03:24.674)
Welcome to real life kid, life is pain.

Spencer (03:26.779)
Yeah, yeah, wake up!

Luciano (03:27.883)
Yeah, life is like monkey king.

Spencer (03:30.986)
Yeah. I'm going to put you in a hole for 500 years if you don't change that attitude. It's the lesson. If you're not good, Buddha will come down and put you in a hole.

Luciano (03:36.088)
Yeah, that's the story, the moral of the story. Get stuck inside them and trap you in a mountain. Everybody will know where you are and no one's gonna get you out until they need you. Yeah.

Matt (03:40.19)
Yeah, it's the only thing I took from this movie.

I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Spencer (03:48.983)
Lesson learned.

Spencer (03:54.576)
until you're good for something.

Matt (03:58.09)
Yep, so good luck, future child.

Spencer (04:01.678)
Hehehehehehehe

Matt (04:04.67)
So as we do we try to do those very positive antidote there are no movie is completely horrible except maybe Morbius And we try to start off with something positive about our movies And so I like to start here with the positive thing for this movie. What did you guys like put this movie?

Luciano (04:22.788)
I liked the Dragon King, just everything about it. I love the cast. I love the, I love the idea of the Dragon King having to be under, under water cause he had bad skin. But I also liked like Bowen Yang is great at it. Like he just, you can tell he had a lot of fun shooting it. And like he, to me, he stole everything he was in and like the song. Yeah. Actually that's another thing.

Spencer (04:27.322)
The guy with the bad skin.

Spencer (04:47.45)
except for the scene he was singing.

Luciano (04:52.18)
Since I'm a rebel, I'm going to say two things. I actually really like the soundtrack of this movie.

Matt (04:56.926)
Just because the main song is a metal song, that's fine.

Luciano (04:59.396)
There's three metal songs, but yeah. Oh, it's so good. And it's.

Spencer (04:59.95)
That's, uh, that song was the fucking worst song. I don't know. That movie ended, it cuts into metal and like my wife walked in the room. She's like, what the fuck is this?

Luciano (05:07.552)
It's so good. It also gets stuck in your head for the rest of the fucking day. Yeah, it does. Well, not that one. The Dragon King one does. The Dragon King one got stuck.

Spencer (05:11.17)
No it does not. Also the... Yeah, yeah. The Dragon King 1 song had like no rhyming to it. It was really weird. I was like, was this song translated from another language? Because there was no rhyming.

Matt (05:13.626)
It exited my brain immediately.

Luciano (05:22.202)
It got stuck in my head.

Luciano (05:28.096)
Yes there was.

Spencer (05:30.198)
No, the first half of this, maybe at the end there was some rhyming. The first, the, I don't want me to pull up the lyrics. The first, the first like half of it is, was like, no, what's the song? What's the names of the song? Dragon King song. Audience, you audience, you, you determine this.

Luciano (05:32.237)
Do you not know how rhymes work?

Matt (05:37.986)
God.

Matt (05:46.238)
I don't know man.

Luciano (05:48.544)
You're asking too much.

Luciano (05:53.824)
Hahaha

Matt (05:56.086)
Good luck, audience.

Nothing like dead time on a podcast where everybody's googling things.

Spencer (06:01.688)
Here we go.

Luciano (06:01.704)
Ehhhh, nobody's looking. I'm not looking right now for the lyrics. No, I'm not. Fuck it. I don't care.

Spencer (06:06.218)
Here, feeling weary? Well, you oughta, cause dwelling underwater isn't swell. Trust me, I know. You see, since birth I have fought a dermatology disorder. That has caught me sadness and whoa whoa. What? What word rhymes with what word there?

Luciano (06:17.02)
Yeah, that's rhymed! Just because it's not an easy rhyme that you're accustomed to ABAB, it's AABB!

Spencer (06:26.551)
No it's not, feeling weary? Well you oughta. Cause dwelling underwater isn't swell. There's no l- what's rhyming?

Luciano (06:32.832)
Yeah, order, water, order, they're all rhyme. It's not just like a neat little rhyme, but it does rhyme.

Matt (06:40.473)
No.

Spencer (06:41.313)
I didn't say order.

Luciano (06:41.576)
It does go look at the actual there's a disorder after later on. Go look at the lyrics. It does rhyme, but whatever. We're not this. This is not, this is not the dragon king song podcast. So fuck it. Whatever.

Spencer (06:48.462)
Trust... Shut up.

Matt (06:49.178)
This is the worst conversation in history of time.

Spencer (06:55.83)
Whenever other kids saw me under the sun's rays in no time, they'd be calling me a freak or a raise in. Is that supposed to be the rhyme? Raisin raisin. That's. That's pretty. That's a stretch.

Luciano (07:03.896)
Yeah! It's how he sings it.

Matt (07:08.598)
Hey, Spencer. Just because your child, your son's childhood is a ruin forever, doesn't mean you need to take the piss out of every piece of this movie. It's okay, just let it go.

Spencer (07:15.659)
Ha ha!

Luciano (07:19.928)
It's gonna be Spencer's first F.

Matt (07:22.858)
Maybe.

Spencer (07:23.054)
So I resigned myself to being left behind forever, living in the H2O. That doesn't rhyme.

Luciano (07:29.996)
Continue reading. I don't know.

Matt (07:31.674)
Why are we doing this? This is the worst podcasting of all time. We're seven minutes in, you're just reading off the lyrics with song that has, I don't think it rhymes either, but if you don't hear the person sing it, it really loses the effect it's supposed to have.

Spencer (07:33.735)
Okay, okay.

Spencer (07:40.666)
Thank you.

Spencer (07:44.199)
Alright, I'll sing it for you.

Luciano (07:44.713)
That's true. That is also very true. Yeah

Spencer (07:47.958)
while listening to it. Sorry, good thing. I'll let you finish Luciano.

Matt (07:48.138)
We're talking about good things about this movie before we get into the bad.

Luciano (07:52.164)
I already did mine. I did mine. I really like the drinking. I like the cast and I like the character.

Matt (07:56.238)
Spencer, would you like to go next Spencer?

Spencer (07:59.87)
Yeah, I like the lack of rhyming.

Luciano (08:03.671)
Hahaha!

Spencer (08:06.699)
No, I liked some of the action set pieces. I mean the staff was cool. I would say the staff is probably one of my, like up there with like a top tiered new like cool fictional weapon.

You know, like, everything's been done before. You know, you see, oh, another laser sword, another, you know, super spear. Yeah, I know this fucking movie's from a story from a thousand years ago.

Matt (08:32.478)
Spencer. No, no, no. That's actually not the thing I'm going to bring up now. You're talking about the staff is a cool new weapon. I bring you one rebel moon.

Spencer (08:48.954)
You shut your whore mouth. I'm not talking about just a staff It was the staff and how powerful was all the things it could do it was cool Yes

Luciano (08:49.399)
Hahaha!

Matt (08:57.034)
Alright, so if Atticus Noble's staff used to talk in like rumbles and tones and like swung around, you know, you... Honestly? Yes.

Spencer (09:03.114)
100% and he could fly on it and it could grow and it could like Basically it like do anything and was the protagonist of the movie then yes, then rebel moon would be good Yeah, oh yeah that movie is a sequel oh boy, okay

Matt (09:17.271)
If that's not in Scargiver, we're fucked.

Matt (09:24.382)
Oh boy. All right, no, anything else you liked?

Spencer (09:28.858)
Um, I liked when he got giant and fought the other giant because it reminded me of the ending of the first god of war game I said when he got you know, I don't remember retain names. I got a bad brain

Matt (09:34.058)
The Dragon King? Did you watch this movie? You don't know the names of anything.

Matt (09:40.882)
It's the Monkey King, who is the title character of the movie, and the Dragon King, the main antagonist.

Spencer (09:43.892)
Right, right.

Luciano (09:46.74)
Like they're not even names all of them are just titles. The only two things that have names in this is lin and wang mu Everything else is just a title Yeah, yeah

Spencer (09:51.042)
What is that?

Matt (09:53.582)
Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's the creature with the king on the end.

Spencer (10:00.123)
Jagon King? Was that Swedish?

Spencer (10:05.886)
Okay, so I like the part when the Monkey King fought the giant Dragon King, and because it reminded me of the ending of God of War, the original video game where Kratos gets big and fights Ares.

Matt (10:10.21)
There you go.

Luciano (10:17.21)
Oh, that's right, yeah.

Matt (10:18.99)
Kratos King fights Ares King. Thank you.

Spencer (10:20.406)
We're, yeah, sorry. Thank you. Yeah, no problem.

Luciano (10:24.625)
The god of war fights the god of war. Yeah. Not.

Matt (10:27.015)
Yeah, there you go.

Spencer (10:27.082)
Yes. Well, not technically. Shut up. I beat you to it.

Matt (10:30.503)
Wow, shut up.

Matt (10:37.102)
The one thing you guys hadn't mentioned that I really liked is I like the battle in hell where the Monkey King and Lin fight Yama. It was a fun fight. It was the best stylized and most interesting fight in terms of like it just looked different and felt different. Like I know they did the he killed the 99 demons in a different art style which was also cool but it's so fast that it's just like it's not it's just it's a montage right so I really enjoyed that fight. It made it a lot of fun.

Luciano (10:46.585)
Oh yeah, yeah.

Spencer (10:53.807)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (10:54.401)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (10:59.872)
Yeah.

Matt (11:07.11)
And, uh, who boys, yeah, I'm a bad at this job. We'll talk about.

Spencer (11:11.414)
Yeah, I really would have liked to watch the movie of him fighting the 99 demons, because that sounds like a cooler movie.

Luciano (11:14.725)
Yeah, that sounds like a better movie. Yeah.

Matt (11:17.298)
I mean that's- I'm gonna use that as a segue into one of the things that annoyed me about this movie and this- You can tell it's a children's movie totally and not a movie that's made for both parents and kids, I thought it was. It moves so fast and everything is so fucking disjointed.

Spencer (11:32.474)
So fast. I honestly, I thought I was watching like 11 TikToks at once. My brain was, I'm like, I'm so old. This is like too much stimulation.

Luciano (11:33.971)
Yeah.

Matt (11:43.398)
I watched the first half of this movie, I watched it in two parts, and I watched the first half, like, I was high. And so I was like, is it me? Am I the problem? And then I watched the second half, not high, I'm like, I don't think it was me.

Spencer (11:49.91)
Oh boy No Yeah, no, I mean first I was probably combination of both You're watching a pause

Luciano (11:50.848)
Was it in slow motion for you or was it too fast for you?

Matt (12:03.89)
Oh, probably.

Luciano (12:05.348)
Did you think like, did you think like, wow, my brain is really slow? And, uh, you know, but, uh, yeah, no, it's, it's so fast. It's so fast.

Spencer (12:14.831)
Good one Luciano got him the brain flow

Matt (12:14.919)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's I think that I was like, oh, my brain.

Luciano (12:19.912)
Yeah, no, that's, I'm just, you know, imitating Matt when he was high. Uh, uh.

Spencer (12:24.618)
Yeah, my brain's low. No, but I'm glad you said that because I thought that too. I was like, I was like, this movie is just like rapid fire, like, like 80 D put to screen. And it was honestly a bit overwhelming. Like the first half, I was like, Oh, I feel like I've just drinking like, like a speed coffee.

Matt (12:27.63)
Uhhh, right?

Luciano (12:42.529)
Ha ha!

Luciano (12:52.128)
Like I was okay, like I thought it was just gonna be the beginning so that we got to the actual story. Like it's gonna just rush and then, but no, it's like the whole, like the movie goes and it pauses for like two seconds and then it speeds along again and you go like, oh what the fuck is going on?

Matt (13:00.334)
Thanks for watching!

Spencer (13:00.651)
Yeah, the whole movie.

Matt (13:08.31)
That was exactly it, right? I figured we were just speeding along until he killed the 99 demons, to sort of, okay, and then setting up the rest of the movie of him doing all the rest of the stuff.

Luciano (13:16.512)
I was hoping that most of the middle was going to be him killing all the, or some of the demons at least. But nope.

Matt (13:24.054)
Well, I thought like the last demon, right? That was okay. We got to the last demon. This is gonna be big now Yeah, nothing fuck off Yeah

Luciano (13:26.888)
Yeah, big fight. No, it's a little child first of all.

Spencer (13:31.078)
Yeah, that was a weird choice. I thought that was the 100th demon. Yeah, I was going to be the main antagonist. And it was going to be cool. I was wrong.

Luciano (13:37.172)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (13:41.695)
You were very wrong.

Luciano (13:41.864)
Yep, I bought both of those things.

Spencer (13:43.558)
Yeah, probably the coolest demon he fought was probably the first demon he fought.

Matt (13:44.854)
Yeah

Luciano (13:47.54)
Yeah, Shang-Chi? Yeah.

Matt (13:48.662)
Shake cheese, Dad.

Spencer (13:50.006)
Yeah, Chengchi's dead. And, oh, sorry, I remember, there's one other thing I liked. No, no, no.

Luciano (13:52.116)
The Demon of Marvel.

Matt (13:57.706)
Oh, he's getting his notes out people.

Luciano (13:59.539)
Go.

Matt (14:01.532)
Oh no.

Luciano (14:03.144)
No, no, I'm not looking at my notes. I'm looking at something else completely unrelated.

Spencer (14:03.37)
The one thing I liked was I'm looking at something else more interesting than this podcast. No, I'm I didn't know if you know this, but Steve, I don't know if it's Stephen or Stefan. I apologize. I just see that written was one of the producers on this and he's a very famous movie maker who makes like action comedies. He made a Kung Fu hustle. If you know that movie and he made Shaolin soccer. Yeah.

Luciano (14:28.452)
Oh really? Well there is a reference Stephen Chow. Stephen Chow.

Matt (14:30.262)
Steve... Steve Bancec?

Spencer (14:33.207)
What? See you in jail.

Matt (14:36.25)
Oh, what? He was a director or producer? I was looking at writers. Sorry Steve Benchich. Get fucked.

Spencer (14:38.27)
No, no, he was just a producer. But I, I noticed in the movie, there's two references to, I was like, one of the ladies smoking the thing is the same lady, like from, uh, Kung Fu hustle. And she jumps on the house and does like, then puts it to fire. Yeah.

Luciano (14:40.565)
What?

Luciano (14:46.459)
Yeah.

Luciano (14:50.316)
Yeah, that's right from Kung Fu Hustle. Yeah, that's who that's who she reminded me. I was like, what is this parodying? Yeah, that's right. And then Shaolin Soccer, which he well, he yeah, I was like, oh, I was because that fight when Matt was talking, I really liked that fight too. And then when they were kicking stuff, I was like, oh, Shaolin Soccer. And he goes, oh, Shaolin Soccer. I'm like, bro, what? Why? Just leave it alone.

Matt (14:55.954)
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you're right. I noticed that too.

Spencer (14:59.49)
And then he says, Shaolin Soccer. He's like, Shaolin Soccer, quick! He kicks the ball.

Matt (15:14.466)
haha

Spencer (15:14.778)
Well, what? Now you got to say it. You got to say it. But yeah, so like those were I don't actually I rarely notice. I always like read it afterwards and then repeat it like I noticed, like I'm smart when I'm not. But this time I actually noticed. And then during the credits, it said Stephen Chow's like, oh, is that why? And then I was also like, why didn't why didn't this movie better if he's involved because he's hilarious and his movies are hilarious?

Luciano (15:27.813)
Nice.

Luciano (15:34.748)
Yeah, now that you mentioned it that the mayor's wife, I think it's even kind of the same sort of like she was the landlady on Kung Fu Hustle, right? It's so similar, you're right. Yeah, I can't even see it now.

Spencer (15:44.971)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt (15:45.27)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Matt (15:50.762)
It seems like, well I think the challenge here is that it's not an original thing, right? This is adapted from a novel. And so, once you're adapting from a novel, there's so much you can do, right? Probably take it and make it funny.

Luciano (15:59.718)
Yeah.

Luciano (16:05.788)
Yeah, I

Luciano (16:34.772)
And then they set it up because at the end, and just keeping it on, but he goes like, oh, are you ready? We're ready to journey to the West. And I was like, oh, I get the reference. That's nice. But yeah, well, it did it. I guess we're gonna get into it a little bit.

Matt (16:46.905)
It finally paid off, right?

Matt (16:52.406)
I mean, maybe, yeah. It's hard to say, right? No, I think it's interesting, right? Like it's, you know, it's probably a good children's movie. You know, it's bright, colorful, characters are simple, but yeah, go ahead.

Luciano (17:07.885)
I was gonna say, I don't think that this is a good children's movie and we're gonna get to it during the pothole section, but what sort of lesson is this teaching to the children? You can be an absolute dick and everything will work out fine for you. So...

Matt (17:24.722)
Listen man, maybe we just need to have fucking orco float through the end and be like, Hey kids, if someone at the church touches you, you should tell your parents about it. And then the lesson's learned.

Luciano (17:37.24)
That took a fucking turn. Wherever I thought you were gonna go with that, that was not it.

Spencer (17:37.594)
It's a good lesson.

Matt (17:42.773)
You're welcome.

Spencer (17:43.694)
But you should learn that.

Matt (17:46.334)
Mm-hmm. Just don't go to church, it'll save you a lot of problems.

Luciano (17:48.06)
I mean, I'm sure like from what Spencer said, like at least, you know, his son kind of enjoyed, I guess, the colorful action of it. Yeah, but like a seven-year-old, a ten-year-old that watches this and goes, huh, look at that. The monkey is being a complete asshole to everybody. And everything works out for him. He becomes immortal and then he, you know, wins against all the gods.

Spencer (17:49.282)
Heheheheheheh

Spencer (17:56.246)
Yeah, he, my son's three, he's not...

Luciano (18:13.868)
Huh, maybe I should be an asshole. Like it's not a good lesson to learn.

Spencer (18:18.121)
Maybe I should mix chemicals and drink it to gain immortality.

Luciano (18:21.056)
Just randomly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so.

Matt (18:24.606)
We're learning the right lessons. We'll get there. Don't worry kids. No, I Think this is probably a good spot because I was wondering about this and I think you guys can help me take through this I as someone who went to University for a chemical engineering and failed after one semester I'm a real expert Yeah, thank you. That is 100% true the elixir of immortality specifically the one that gives immunity for immortality from

Luciano (18:26.932)
All right. Yeah. All of the kids that are listening to us right now.

Luciano (18:40.218)
Is that actually true?

Spencer (18:40.656)
We call them, we call them, we call them Dr. Mad here.

Matt (18:53.742)
combat because apparently it was broken up. The ingredients are a pinch of instant karma, a spoonful of chi, a drop of moon essence and the nectar of what turns out to be a generic peach even though the movie makes it seem like it's a fancy peach.

Matt (19:15.126)
How does this work? Cause like.

Luciano (19:18.332)
If that was like what kind of again, what kind of a lesson is this that he can drink something that has a pinch of instant karma? Well, yeah, no, he should have gotten fucked right for all of the shit that he pulled. Like when he tries to save that village and burns it to the ground.

Matt (19:37.17)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (19:38.462)
You thought that was going to circle back? I thought it was going to be like, I thought it was setting it up like a joke where he was going to be like, spill a little bit on himself and then be like, the Lynn girl would be like, watch out. And he's like, I don't need your help. You pebble. And then a thing hits him in the head instantly. And then it's like, ah, ha, instant karma. I thought there was going to be a little joke.

Luciano (19:40.372)
We should. It's instant karma.

Luciano (20:01.716)
That would have been interesting. Yeah.

Matt (20:01.986)
Thanks Stephen, ciao.

Spencer (20:03.582)
Yeah, you're welcome. Like that would have been, that's what I was expecting in that scene.

Luciano (20:08.9)
We call him Spencer Chow here.

Matt (20:09.522)
Yeah. Better.

Spencer (20:11.258)
think I have worse. But I'm not I'd like to imagine the real live version of that drink. Like if you were like peach would be peach schnapps I would imagine or peach or peach absolute peach vodka.

Luciano (20:14.476)
Hahaha!

Matt (20:26.222)
Sure.

Hmm. Okay. You're trying to make this the worst drink or just something you could drink? Okay. Okay, so it's at least an alcoholic drink. You go to the bar and you're like, give me the elixir of mortality. It's good. Yeah.

Luciano (20:30.136)
Oh god, why?

Spencer (20:31.682)
I don't know. Peach snaps, okay? Peach snaps. But I'm just, no, just what it is. I think moon essence would be moonshine.

Spencer (20:44.602)
Oh, it's gonna kill you.

Spencer (20:49.381)
It's gonna kill you. That's the joke.

Luciano (20:50.798)
So what's instant karma absent?

Spencer (20:54.262)
No, no, okay, moonshine and absinthe. This is, we call this drink murder.

Luciano (20:56.024)
No, I... ..

Matt (20:58.382)
can't you? Now, Absinthe is probably a little too far on the Instant Karma scale. What else we got? We have the spoonful of Chi.

Luciano (21:08.661)
It has to be something you drink and instantly fucks you up. That's why I picked Absinthe.

Spencer (21:12.89)
I feel like Chi would be like Chai Tea purely because it starts with CH and ends with E sounds.

Matt (21:16.393)
Okay.

Luciano (21:16.516)
Oh, just to kind of eat like kind of like. Oh, I see. Yeah, I was going to say I was going to say.

Matt (21:20.076)
It's feeling a little racist. Also, it's just chai for the record. You son of a bitch before we get all those emails.

Spencer (21:25.054)
Yeah, yeah, I know chai is the word tea. Say chai tea. Say chai tea tea. Ah ha ha. Oh ho ho. I also saw Across the Spider-Verse. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Luciano (21:34.346)
Yeah, that's where you should know that from.

Matt (21:36.655)
Yeah, that's your only education point in life. Thanks, Spencer.

Spencer (21:39.451)
Yeah, that's where you learned it! And then, what's a karmic, instant karma?

Luciano (21:47.552)
That's what I'm saying.

Matt (21:47.562)
Well, if it's instant, is it just like instant coffee? Yeah. It's a spoonful of Nescafe.

Luciano (21:50.46)
Instant coffee? Yeah, okay. It's Nescafe. It's Nescafe.

Spencer (21:52.688)
Oh god, that just made it so much worse.

Spencer (21:59.21)
Okay, and the karma is you puke it right when you drink it.

Luciano (22:00.536)
Is it that or like Tang like Tang juice like the instant juice you make with like powder? It is it is it better

Spencer (22:06.85)
That's that would be better. Yeah, why is that to be coffee? Instant instant like powder for like, yeah, like like.

Matt (22:14.838)
Well, if we have chai in there, it's kind of spicy. And then we have orange and peach. And then, what was the last flavor we picked? And then the moonshine. Yeah, I mean, moonshine comes through. It's like vodka. It's just moonshine. No, it's a drop of moonshine.

Luciano (22:19.094)
Right.

Luciano (22:22.944)
That's actually starting to sound actually pretty tasty.

Spencer (22:25.698)
moonshine

Spencer (22:32.075)
It really doesn't matter what else you have in it. It really bowers through, because it's two thirds of the drink is that.

Luciano (22:34.13)
Yeah, that's true.

Spencer (22:40.975)
Oh, well that's not gonna do much.

Matt (22:42.191)
The biggest amount based on what we saw in the movie was the peach.

Luciano (22:45.119)
I'm thinking of a drop of moonshine as that video we've seen of the woman making an old fashion with like, oh you need two ounces of vodka and she fucking pours the fucking bottle inside.

Matt (22:50.666)
an old-fashioned.

Matt (22:58.086)
Just so our listeners are clear, I know that there is no vodka in an old fashioned. Yeah, yeah, it's whiskey. Trust me, I know.

Luciano (23:02.44)
Is it, is that how vodka was it? Bourbon? Something like that. Yeah.

Spencer (23:05.816)
that knows this I too know this I too saw across the spider-verse wherever I get all my knowledge let's see where they make old-fashions and discuss business

Matt (23:11.856)
HAH!

Luciano (23:15.267)
Oh yeah, that scene where they make an old-fashioned.

Matt (23:22.666)
Yeah, that's exactly what we saw in the movie. Um, okay, well I'm glad we cleared that up because it was a little confusing to me as to what went on there. And then the other half of Immortality, he just had to erase his name from Yamas book, right? His own scroll. Was it his own scroll? That's weird. Anyways, fine. So, yeah, so yeah.

Luciano (23:34.08)
The scroll of his own scroll of life or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, his own scroll. And I was, it made me wonder, it was like Lyn was looking for it. Like, why didn't she just do the same for herself?

Matt (23:47.562)
Yeah, she fucked up. It's true, she made- she didn't fuck up, she made the right choice. Me and Marle sucks.

Spencer (23:48.41)
She doesn't want to be immortal. Yeah. Have you tried being immortal? It's exhausting.

Luciano (23:54.001)
I'd like it. Yeah, it doesn't have haven't ever worked hasn't worked yet

Matt (23:55.238)
All right, for the first 500 years.

Spencer (24:03.234)
Been there, done that.

Matt (24:05.674)
I wouldn't mind like the half immortality just so if it kept my body in stasis, right? That's the key.

Luciano (24:09.741)
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So like you give you like he gives you an exit option

Matt (24:14.022)
Yeah. And then you can like, all right. I mean.

Spencer (24:14.786)
Well, then that's different. You get an, that's ideal, you got the exit option.

Luciano (24:17.1)
Yeah.

Matt (24:20.086)
Basically, it is not the immortality he got from hell. He's now a Highlander.

Luciano (24:27.496)
Yeah. Well, no, because yeah, because like he Highlanders can die as long as they don't get their heads cut and they come back. If he died, he died.

Spencer (24:29.106)
Yeah, basically. Well, you can be killed by any way.

Matt (24:39.966)
Yeah. No, I know, but he only dies in combat though. That was the-

Luciano (24:43.285)
Yeah.

Spencer (24:43.478)
No, no, I don't think it's even just in combat. I think they just said that. I think it's he'll die in any way. That's not old age. Like if he gets hit by a bus, he'd die.

Luciano (24:49.852)
Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Or if he gets like sick or whatever, right? Like a hot, like Connor McLeod would get back from drowning or whatever. He wouldn't, he wouldn't.

Matt (24:55.647)
No

Matt (24:58.954)
Sure, yeah, I follow. Oh, I just think that like really, it's fine.

Spencer (25:05.088)
I'd count sickness as old age though. I don't think he'd die from sickness because I think that's inferred. Drowning he would.

Luciano (25:08.8)
That's fair, but like drowning he would, right?

Matt (25:09.938)
Okay, well now you're starting to split hairs because like why sickness is not, no, well, hey, listen, sickness is not old age. Sickness is not old age, sickness is sickness.

Luciano (25:14.244)
Oh, we never do that here.

Spencer (25:19.357)
This podcast isn't professional. What, what, most people who die from old age die from a sickness before. You don't just. No, the sickness, you get old and then you're getting weak and you. Yeah.

Luciano (25:21.56)
Hahaha!

Matt (25:28.414)
Yeah, but the old age kills them, not the sickness.

Luciano (25:31.568)
No, it's the opposite. The sickness kills them because they're old, not vice versa. There is no old age.

Matt (25:34.366)
Yes, exactly. No, but it's the old... No, but like, but their body being in disrepair is the reason why the sickness hits them. And your body becomes, comes into disrepair because you're old. So, but is your body just not getting to disrepair?

Luciano (25:43.625)
Right, right, yeah.

Luciano (25:47.888)
So I agree. I think if he caught COVID, then he could die.

Spencer (25:56.31)
Oh, okay. He still has to wear his mask.

Matt (25:57.688)
Uh, sir, he would catch monkeypox. Thank you very much.

Spencer (26:01.53)
Oh, did he get the vaccine is the question.

Luciano (26:02.536)
Nice, nicely done.

Matt (26:07.91)
No, he's an anti-vaxxer. If I know anything about this Monkey King, the way he treats everybody in this movie, definitely anti-vaxxer. He tells all the rest of them to get it, but he's not getting it because he's the Monkey King. Let's talk about the Monkey King a little bit more in depth because he is our biggest plot hole. I'm going to use a term from a different country, not China. I don't want to be caught there. England.

Luciano (26:08.998)
We don't have time for... Oh no, well he would be. He would be.

Spencer (26:09.53)
He's an anti-vaxxer, okay. Yeah, definitely would be.

Spencer (26:17.763)
Yep. Yeah, but he wouldn't get it.

Luciano (26:20.832)
Yeah. See.

Spencer (26:26.826)
More in-depth than his vaccination status.

Luciano (26:35.911)
Ha ha

Matt (26:38.146)
I got English blood in me, so I think it's appropriate. The Monkey King is a giant cunt. And I don't think there's any other way to describe his behavior throughout the entire movie. He doesn't just start off as like a little cunt and then learn how to treat people correctly. He is a cunt until they drag him out of that rock 500 years later. And even then, still, still a little bit.

Spencer (26:43.194)
Hehehe

Luciano (26:44.896)
Yep. Yes.

Luciano (26:54.136)
Yeah. And he's a cunt there too. Like there is a stretch of about five minutes in this movie where he's not a giant twat, which is when he catches her from when she's falling and even then, but when the whole character development that he needed to have had in the entire movie, when it happens when he gets finally got caught by Buddha and he goes...

Matt (27:06.614)
Well he catches her from...

Luciano (27:22.02)
Oh, thank you for everything, Lynn. I've learned so much. I'm going to go be peaceful now because I'm so good. That's the only time when he's not being a.

Matt (27:24.667)
Right.

Spencer (27:30.938)
But that's also like, that's like when you like, catch your kid eating like all the candy and then they're like, the second they're caught, yeah I'm sorry, I'm sorry, can I have more? Yeah, it's like, I don't buy that, he was already caught falling into a hole where he's not gonna be let out unless he's like better. Of course he's like, I learned my lesson, I'm a better man.

Luciano (27:35.819)
Yep.

I'm sorry.

I will never do that again until the next time. Yeah, yeah.

Luciano (27:49.835)
Yeah.

Matt (27:53.142)
Yeah. I'm better now.

Luciano (27:54.42)
Yeah, no, but like that whole scene with her, we like, it's like, oh, thank you so much. And like she puts her hand on him. He goes, oh, it's like, what? I don't what.

Spencer (28:03.982)
Did you expect? I kind of expected him to pull her in.

Luciano (28:08.918)
Yeah, like that would have been in character. Yeah, I'm not going to be alone in this.

Spencer (28:09.122)
Which would have been... But then she, I wouldn't have minded that and then she stays with them for the whole, like she survives because she's in this like cocoon of immortality. And then, but then they like go out and they're like going on an adventure together again. It's like they did in this movie, they make being alone for 500 years seem like it wouldn't be an absolute torture that would kill you. Yeah.

Matt (28:10.325)
Not today, bitch!

Luciano (28:18.301)
Well, she doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve that.

Luciano (28:25.625)
Yeah, no, I...

Luciano (28:33.904)
He's supposed to be sort of like hibernating or whatever

Spencer (28:37.962)
So they would go with that vibe. With her.

Matt (28:39.891)
meditating I think.

Luciano (28:41.188)
or meditating, sorry, not everything, he's not a bear, you're right, yeah, meditating, yes, yes. They open it, oh the monkey king, no I'm the bear king now.

Spencer (28:43.874)
Yeah, yeah, he's eating salmon before going in the hole. No, I'm the bear king now. I put on 600 pounds. He's one salmon stream in here.

Matt (28:48.942)
Ha ha.

Matt (29:01.686)
So like, is the Monkey King justified? Like, a little, he's justified a little bit. Like, when does his justification for being a massive cunt end? Because he comes out as a baby and he's just trying to find a family to love him and fucking Cranky Kong is like, you're never gonna mount to nothing. Fuck you. You're gonna be, live alone for 500 years. Cranky Kong was fucking spot on, by the way.

Luciano (29:02.053)
Uh, yeah.

Spencer (29:17.225)
Fuck you

Luciano (29:18.556)
Cranky Kong.

Luciano (29:24.766)
Oh yeah, that monkey was a prophet. Yeah.

Spencer (29:26.831)
He was bang on. But yeah, he comes out like a baby and then like crying and then my dad goes, you're gonna be nothing. You're gonna grow up to be a monster. And then I said my dad, that was a joke. That was a joke. I was like, none of you reacted. I was like, oh God. Yeah, so then.

Luciano (29:39.6)
You did see your dad? It was like, oh my god, what a Freudian slip. Ha ha ha.

Matt (29:40.559)
You dead?

Matt (29:50.001)
No, we went with it.

Spencer (29:53.554)
Yeah, he basically tells him he's gonna be nothing. The problem with the character in this movie is, I mean, we all know the arc of the insufferable, asshole protagonist who becomes likable. It never got to the be likable. And they forgot that part, and there were a lot of layups for that part, and they just kept doubling down every time. They just doubled that every day. It was like, she's like, and then I saw my name on the list, Lynn, and it would say you'd be nothing.

Luciano (30:04.2)
Yeah. It never happened. Yeah.

Matt (30:07.51)
You forgot that part.

Luciano (30:13.172)
So many layups, yeah.

Luciano (30:23.84)
He's like, yeah, you're nothing, bitch. Ha ha ha.

Spencer (30:23.982)
Who's Lynn? And I was like, I actually laughed at that. He's like, wait, who's Lynn? And she's like, I'm Lynn. And then he's, but he just keeps going. He's like, oh, you are nothing. Nice to meet you, Lynn. You're a piece of shit.

Matt (30:28.118)
Hehehehe.

Luciano (30:32.557)
Oh, nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but even before like, so you asked Matt when he did his like reason for being a cunt kind of run out. I think in this movie is when he goes to kill the 100th demon, which by the way, that number the Cranky Kong pull out of his entire asshole. He's like, you have to find a hundred demons for them to notice you. And he's like,

Matt (30:54.518)
What?

Oh yeah. Well, but did he though? Because he was accurate about being a monster, he was accurate. So technically, it seemed like he was out of his ass.

Spencer (30:58.166)
He was right though, he was right.

Luciano (31:03.22)
That's fair. That's fair.

Spencer (31:06.562)
Well, firstly, he was he was right about not going into the light. He's like, don't go in the light. And then they listen and they get eaten less in sun.

Luciano (31:10.101)
Yeah.

Matt (31:10.3)
Right.

Matt (31:15.434)
Allegedly eaten.

Luciano (31:17.025)
But then they get kidnapped even outside of the light later on. So.

Spencer (31:21.73)
Yeah, but this light made them easier to see them. It seemed.

Matt (31:23.095)
It was still in the light.

Luciano (31:25.476)
I guess, but like, so I think it runs out when he goes to kill the 100th demon and he completely demolishes that town with the fire. That's when he kind of ran out of like, yeah, and unmetal and all that shit and he's like completely

Matt (31:35.834)
Oh, he burns it down. And then he makes them, give them a ceremony. Yeah.

Spencer (31:44.362)
through like by force basically that was like a large hostage situation

Luciano (31:48.905)
Yeah.

Luciano (31:52.288)
And when that happened, I was like, wait, I thought this was going to be when he was like, oh, I have to mind my actions and I have to be careful with, you know, the uncle ban thing of great power and great responsibility. I thought kind of, no, oh, I burned your whole town. Give me a speech and a medal and pay me or whatever.

Spencer (32:12.218)
See, I didn't mind that because one, it was funny. But also, he had no reason to change yet. I thought that the story was really making him seem like a complete ass until the girl was involved, Lynn, and then she was gonna show him love. Yeah, and she was gonna show him, not attention, but affection, compassion, and like.

Luciano (32:31.616)
Like be his morality pet.

Matt (32:38.957)
passion.

Spencer (32:40.706)
give him that family that he's wanted and that's gonna make him realize the error of his ways. You know, like a movie.

Luciano (32:46.386)
But again, they did half of that, like with the insufferable protagonist who learns his lesson. She gave him compassion and she gave him care and he's like, just, Oh, you're a pebble, fuck off. Like, yeah.

Spencer (32:49.366)
No they didn't. They...

Matt (32:49.608)
Yeah.

Spencer (32:53.543)
Oh yeah yeah, they did that half.

Spencer (32:59.678)
Yeah, and then he's like, you gotta take your shit. If you want something, take it. Peace.

Matt (33:00.542)
I thought-

Matt (33:04.786)
I thought for sure that when they ended up in Wang Mu's potions hut or lab, yeah, at times it was so destroyed I didn't know where they were, to be honest with you. Maybe it was so high at this point, who knows. And I was on the elixir of immortality.

Luciano (33:11.08)
Lab? Portsonet!

Luciano (33:20.181)
Hahaha!

Spencer (33:20.6)
You're on your own potions.

Spencer (33:27.335)
hahahaha

Luciano (33:27.719)
You were on Matt's potion hut.

Matt (33:30.43)
Um, but like, he turns back into a baby monkey and I didn't quite catch how that happened, but I thought when she like picked him up and let him cuddle her and like showed affection to him as a baby, that was gonna have an impact as he came back and was like, oh yeah, and nah. No. Not a goddamn thing.

Luciano (33:34.365)
A baby.

Spencer (33:38.23)
Hehe

Luciano (33:46.895)
Another layup. He didn't even remember what happened when he was as a baby.

Spencer (33:51.542)
What, do you remember when you were a baby?

Luciano (33:53.716)
Well, I mean, he had just come back to being a baby. That's fair. That's not the main problem with this movie. That's fine that he forgot, it's fine.

Spencer (33:56.694)
Yeah, you're still a baby. Got him.

Matt (34:03.722)
No, but it's a what they have the point is that they They subvert the stereotype or not. Yeah, it's not they subverted but with note to know edge The cliche is better if they subvert the cliche but to no end of value Right like there's no point

Luciano (34:11.06)
in a bad way. Yeah.

Spencer (34:14.28)
They subvert the cliche.

Spencer (34:20.994)
Like he gives up his like ultimate goal of being super God to catch her. And then you're like, she's like, oh, you care about me. And I was like, it was almost like, it's like a breath of fresh air. It's like, okay, we're finally like getting past this, like negative, not negativity, but this just like. Asshole-ery it's like, it gets so great. Yeah. It gets grading like to the audience. Like, I was like, okay. Like.

Matt (34:27.498)
Oh yeah, no tracks.

Luciano (34:28.235)
Yeah.

Luciano (34:37.292)
Finally, yeah, but nope

Luciano (34:45.481)
He's insufferable like yeah. Yeah, he does.

Spencer (34:51.278)
You're just a fucking asshole. Like I'm just over you. And then it's like, but again, that feeling works to the audience if the shell comes down. Then you're like, ah, you know what? He's, you know, he's not that bad, but you can, you start to like the character cause you've seen them change. Like, you know, like a movie. And then when that opportunity comes and she's like, you care about me. I don't know what happens, but he's just like, what it's just like, nah, I'm not going to help you.

Matt (35:06.634)
Yeah. Right.

Luciano (35:08.183)
haha

Spencer (35:19.574)
She's like, can you help me now? And he's like, no. He's like, fuck, fuck you.

Luciano (35:19.796)
Yeah.

Matt (35:19.97)
Get, get rekt. No, you know what happens is he's like, if you want something, you gotta take it for yourself. That's the little speech he goes on.

Spencer (35:27.426)
Yeah, but how did he get that lesson there?

Luciano (35:27.496)
Again, not really a good lesson to teach children.

Matt (35:30.526)
Well, so this is the thing of the movie, right? Spencer and I, we are both parents. And so if your child watches this movie and isn't just mesmerized by the monkey, but sees themself in Lynn, then there are many questions you have to ask yourself about. Why does Lynn stick around with such a toxic? Yeah. And like it's her job to fix a broken, flawed.

Luciano (35:46.952)
Alright. Yeah.

Spencer (35:49.88)
abusive relationship.

Luciano (35:51.14)
Yeah, it gets to be Stockholm syndrome at some point.

Luciano (35:59.409)
Oh, at the end, yeah, yeah.

Matt (36:00.898)
Partner? Like, no, just fucking walk away, let him figure his fucking shit out.

Luciano (36:05.092)
Yeah, like I didn't understand. I was so mad when like Buddha was gonna do something. I was like, yeah, comeuppance, right? Which you shouldn't feel like that. You shouldn't have a foreboding or like an incoming feeling of Shatan Freida with your protagonist. You should be, right? So I was like, oh, he's gonna get fucked now. And she's like, no, please. He's not that bad. I'm like, girl, what is wrong with you? You, we've just seen him. Yeah.

Spencer (36:20.342)
Yeah, yeah, totally.

Spencer (36:27.418)
What? Says who? Says what? He's smashing your town!

Matt (36:34.294)
But also, when she said, I'm gonna play, I have a challenge for you, did you expect the challenge to be, I'm gonna trap you in a fucking prison for 500 years?

Spencer (36:43.26)
Yeah, no, Poot is a dick.

Luciano (36:43.444)
Well, that well, not none. None of that scene makes sense, right? Because he's like, I have a he tells her, oh, you teach him then the way. And I was like, aren't you the fucking god of gods? Why is I asking a girl to use your job? Yeah. And she goes in, but then she has the wisdom to do it. And she's like, oh, if you can jump off of my hand. Like the scene was pretty cool with him. Well, he flew, but he was still. Yeah.

Spencer (36:57.535)
Fuck you, that's your job!

Spencer (37:07.776)
Again, I didn't understand that scene.

Matt (37:11.087)
Buddha's vast and infinite.

Luciano (37:13.44)
Buddha is the whole universe, yeah, yeah. But, and then, and then she's like, okay, you failed the challenge. And he puts his hand down and it becomes a mountain, which is a really cool visual. But then how did she know how to do it? And it was like, holy shit, so you failed, now you have 500 years in prison. Holy shit. Like, what the fuck was that?

Spencer (37:13.571)
That's it.

Spencer (37:34.786)
Well, by the looks of it, he needed a thousand, because he seems like he's still a fucking ass. He's like, oh, what? I just achieved eternal peace, and you want me to fight? And they're like, yeah. He's like, let's fuck some shit up, bitches. Oh, no. He's learned nothing.

Luciano (37:38.856)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the end.

Luciano (37:45.108)
Yeah, kinda, I'm sorry. And even the guy goes, oh no. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (37:45.238)
Yeah!

Matt (37:50.748)
Yeah Damn it

Luciano (37:54.516)
Like if it were me I would just like slowly put the seal back on. He's like, no. We're good. We'll deal with the demons ourselves and go back to sleep. Yeah.

Matt (37:58.582)
Just like, you know what, we're good, it's fine. Well, let the demons have Earth, let's just fuck it. This is not worth it.

Spencer (38:00.026)
But we'll figure it out.

Spencer (38:06.466)
Well, part of me when I was watching was like, is this like based on a lore that I don't know? So they can't make the Monkey King like become not an asshole because he's always a mischievous asshole or something in the lore?

Luciano (38:11.704)
Probably.

I-

Matt (38:17.331)
Oh no

I don't think he's a cunt in the lore. I think the lore is pretty...

Luciano (38:22.265)
Exactly. So, so what very...

Spencer (38:23.818)
By the way, for all the kids listening with their parents, because it's a kids movie, I assume we have a large children audience, so it's pronounced cunt, C-U-N-T.

Matt (38:29.063)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (38:31.044)
See, U and T, yeah, exactly. You have to really land on the T, cunt. Yeah, yeah.

Matt (38:33.083)
Mm-hmm.

Spencer (38:35.754)
You gotta land on the T if you want it to be emphatic.

Matt (38:35.882)
Yeah, it's pretty much usable in all life situations. So if your mother or father says, hey, do you want some more food? You just say cunt and they'll understand what you mean.

Luciano (38:41.463)
Yeah.

Spencer (38:46.186)
Yeah. Now you say, you say yes, cunt or no, or no cunt.

Luciano (38:47.144)
No, no, teach them right. You can say yes, cunt, exactly. Yeah.

Matt (38:52.533)
I just go cunt it's fine

Spencer (38:56.74)
And now you've learned something today, the more you know.

Matt (38:58.246)
Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome, kids.

Luciano (38:59.18)
The more you know. No, like, so what I what little I know about the legend is that he's like, because like in the beginning of the movie, they say here is the birth of trouble, right? That's how they qualify when he breaks off of the rock. And that's kind of how I know he's like he's supposed to be mischievous, but like, like being a little bit of a trickster is one thing being a raging cunt is a completely different one.

Spencer (39:25.654)
He just reads, yeah, I don't know if he was like always very selfish in the lore or if he does things to help people or if he just.

Luciano (39:33.495)
I don't know enough. I think he does things to help people.

Spencer (39:37.082)
Cause it almost seemed like they made a point to make it be like, no, he cannot have a moment of realization where he becomes a better person. Like almost where they were being like.

Luciano (39:45.313)
He can be altruistic, he can be compassionate, he has to be a selfish dick. Yeah, maybe. I don't know that that's the case. I don't think it is because, like, of course it's heavily modified, right? But anybody who's watched Dragon Ball has watched what is the sequel to the story that this movie tells, which is Journey to the West. And the way that Goku behaves...

Spencer (39:50.346)
We have to be true to his character no matter what.

Luciano (40:10.308)
in Dragon Ball, not Dragon Ball Z, the first Dragon Ball when he's a kid, is sort of how it's supposed to be. He's supposed to be super curious and not be really too keen on following rules and, but that's the little that I know. I don't know if he's supposed to be like selfish. I don't think so, but I don't know.

Spencer (40:25.014)
Maybe in the original Journey to the West, it's maybe that story is the story of him becoming a better person. So they can't end this movie with him being a better person because he needs to have that arc in the next story.

Luciano (40:32.829)
Maybe.

Matt (40:41.162)
Yeah, well, so I looked it up. Unfortunately, there is no monk

Luciano (40:47.936)
HAHAHAHAHAHA Damn it, they failed us for the first time

Spencer (40:49.656)
Well then why even read it? Why even read it? It's the question.

Matt (40:52.014)
And I don't know, I haven't know it. Well, we're gonna go through it. So using Wikipedia, which is not the best for this, but essentially the story, the broad strokes of the story is that the Monkey King is born from a stone, but basically he rebels against the Buddha and the gods, and they imprison him for 500 years. So if that's the story, then there's a lot in there to create the lore you want.

Luciano (41:16.522)
I mean you-

Luciano (41:20.86)
Yeah. Thank you.

Matt (41:21.27)
And I don't even know if the book the guy wrote, the novel the guy wrote, created the Monkey King to be a cunt, or if the movie was try- using, you know, it's like, you know, when you're adapting, are you trying to do it in broad strokes so the children understand? You know?

Luciano (41:28.468)
Uh huh. Right, right.

Spencer (41:35.37)
I see, so the story though had to end with him being in prison for 500 years. So they couldn't have him be good in the end, because then it would be... They could have had a more conflict though, which would have been better, where he's like torn.

Luciano (41:39.828)
Yeah, yeah.

Matt (41:39.998)
Yeah, that's the first part.

Luciano (41:43.4)
Yeah. There.

Well, they could have they could have given him a good reason to rebel, right?

Spencer (41:52.078)
But also you didn't read that on fandom, you read that on Woke-opedia. Wake up sheeple! Sorry, I apologize, I apologize.

Luciano (41:56.347)
Oh no.

Matt (41:58.62)
Hey. Hey, we didn't invoke the name, we said nothing.

Stay in your cage.

Luciano (42:05.608)
Yeah, like I said, I don't think it's like... He had good reason, like he could have been because they didn't want to help the humans or whatever or because they didn't accept him even though he fulfilled whatever preconditions he needed to fulfill, whatever the case may be. But I don't think, like, it would not be a story that survived this long if the protagonist of the story was not...

likeable in some way. I don't know about you guys, but I just could not like him in any way.

Spencer (42:38.626)
No, I think I figured it out and this is just my guess. I think in the original story, the story is he rebelled against the gods and was sort of a villain who was in prison for 500 years. And then Journey to the West is like his hero story. So because this is based on the, basically the prequel to Journey to the West where he's kind of bad and gets, at the end he gets punished. So you can't have him being good at the end of this story, although they tried.

they had to have him sort of have a villain arc. Although, no, but like it was like, yeah, it was a cunt arc. But I will say this, I was really worried. At least they like committed, cause the worst thing they could have done in this movie, cause he's such a fucking ass, is to have him get like a happy ending in this. And what they didn't do is they, like when he, I expected, cause I just thought this was like a kid's movie, I didn't really know the lore. I expected him to like,

Luciano (43:10.408)
Yeah, a moment. Well, but that wasn't a villain arc, it was a cunt arc.

Luciano (43:29.612)
Yeah.

Spencer (43:38.138)
learn his lesson. Like when he fights the Dragon King, I thought it was gonna be like, well, I was able to defeat him with the power of my friend Lin and you know, all good. But they didn't. They made him go like full ass. Like they committed to him being an ass in the end too, when he turns bad. Yeah, literally a giant chimp ass. And, but that kind of like actually caught me off guard where he's like, kind of goes all red eyed and like becomes like full bad guy.

Luciano (43:52.365)
Yeah, he became a giant ass in the end. Yeah.

Luciano (44:07.784)
Which even like that could have been something that like you like you keep saying Spencer if this was a movie They could they could have had it in a way where the power like Got to his head at the end and then he lost control and that's why he had to be in whatever the case What my point is from what mad read and you know, I don't know any much more than that but like it doesn't seem like

Spencer (44:15.776)
Yeah.

Spencer (44:33.931)
our one excerpt.

Luciano (44:35.812)
Yeah, it doesn't look like he had to be this selfish asshole that he was. Like, irredeemable, really, at this point.

Matt (44:44.021)
Yeah.

Spencer (44:44.939)
And just generally unlikable is the main thing.

Luciano (44:48.381)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt (44:49.374)
Yeah, like, so I've been reading more because it obviously goes into the actual details of the story and then the movie for the for the large part hits the broad strokes But you know it does a better job of in the story looks like a painting of his sympathetic light He's born and as a small monkey he meets other monkeys They go live in a little cave But then one of them is killed and so he ventures out to find a way to find the immortals to beat death And as he goes through these adventures, you know

He meets the Dragon King and gets a staff from them and then makes him, gets them to make him an outfit for a king. And then they're, now they want to kill him because he's been sent to death for extorting the Dragon Kings. And so he goes to hell to get his name wiped out of the book so they can't kill him. Yeah.

Luciano (45:29.788)
Oh look, there's new, there's new ones in the story. Who would have thought? Ha ha ha.

Spencer (45:30.431)
Oh wow.

Spencer (45:35.074)
That's pretty they do they follow I didn't know all of that was from the lore. That's cool then.

Luciano (45:38.709)
Yeah, I didn't either.

Matt (45:39.51)
Yeah. And then so the Jade Emperor invites him to, to have him to sort of promote him and rank amongst the gods to help control him. And sort of he's, you know, being promoted, but he gets sort of a shit job and, you know, blah, blah.

Luciano (45:57.516)
So like, see, inside that framework, you could even paint him as like an anti-hero at the end, like if you wanted. Which is like, oh, he's downtrodden, put down by the celestial bureaucracy, which is how, like, there's a reason why they call it the celestial bureaucracy.

Spencer (45:58.295)
That's it.

Matt (45:59.831)
Wow, it goes on.

Spencer (46:07.369)
Yeah.

Matt (46:16.218)
Yeah, so the Celestial bureaucracy tries to execute them.

Luciano (46:20.96)
There you go, that's a good reason to rebel.

Matt (46:23.418)
and they fail and he's kept in Lausie's 8-way trigram crucible for 49 days in order to be distilled into an elixir by Samadhi fires.

Luciano (46:35.572)
Wow, okay, that you couldn't really show in the children's movie. And then he was, you know, tortured for 50 days.

Matt (46:38.481)
No.

Spencer (46:45.122)
Well, it's fine kids.

Matt (46:45.255)
He survived, so it's fine. Everything's good.

Luciano (46:51.022)
Yeah. But like, especially, I don't know, it's, I get it that they wanted to kind of, for, from one hand, like it sounds like Spencer said, like they kept pretty close to the mythology, which is cool. But it doesn't seem from anything that you're saying that it said, he absolutely has to be a twat. Like, no.

Spencer (46:52.782)
They just tore off his toenails and fingernails.

Luciano (47:17.448)
It didn't have to be.

Matt (47:19.378)
Well, so riddle me this then, because the challenge is you're making a children's movie, and you need your main character to be bad enough that you can justify to the kids that he got imprisoned.

Luciano (47:25.761)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (47:33.579)
Right.

Matt (47:35.318)
But you don't, but he is the hero of the story and not, it's like when we make Venom movies, he's like, oh, he's a good guy. He's like, no, Venom just eats people. You shouldn't have made a movie where he's the good guy. I don't wanna see that. But in this scenario, the Monkey King is a good guy, so I don't think he should be a massive cunt, but.

Luciano (47:38.378)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (47:46.741)
True.

Spencer (47:53.122)
You know what? I think he was a big cunt in the original lore because I just, reading up on the lore, there's a part where the Monkey King says, hey, have you heard of Andrew Tate? I'm a big fan. You should look into him, man.

Luciano (47:54.387)
Yeah.

Matt (48:06.954)
Ha ha

Luciano (48:09.594)
Well, I think you're reading the wrong place. Yeah.

Spencer (48:13.27)
No, this is the original Monkey King story. And he says.

Matt (48:16.434)
And edgertate doesn't sound so Chinese though.

Spencer (48:19.698)
Yeah, but he says he says you should you should look into the alpha man mentality

Luciano (48:23.966)
Does it get into crypto as well?

Spencer (48:26.87)
Yeah, he says, he says you're just a you're just a beta who doesn't even trade crypto, bro.

And I'm shocked that they wrote this. How long? 2000, 1000 years ago?

Matt (48:41.742)
Sure, yeah, I don't know.

Spencer (48:42.998)
And then oh, and then he said the election was stolen. Well, this guy was an ass.

Matt (48:50.423)
I thought you can only come out when we summon you.

Spencer (48:53.434)
I didn't say this. I didn't say this. This is in the ancient, uh, ancient story journey to the West.

Luciano (48:53.496)
Yeah

Matt (49:00.755)
It feels like only the other you would know how to find this part.

Spencer (49:03.69)
No, and then he says women are property. What the, like this guy is, this guy's a little out there. Now I get it, they tried to tone it down for the kids movie.

Luciano (49:04.001)
Yeah.

Matt (49:10.536)
I mean...

Yeah, let's segue off of that somehow. All right. You've gone too far. Hard to say.

Spencer (49:15.83)
Make China great again. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Luciano (49:18.544)
Oh my god. Okay. Yeah. Hard segue out. I just wanted to say one of the main problems that I found stemming from the fact that the Monkey King was unlikable is like the way that Lin acted towards him through basically half of the movie. Basically after he finally acquiesces to her going with him and only because he can't fucking read. That's the only reason he accepted it because he needed her to...

Matt (49:45.894)
I'm sorry, how does this fucking... No, how does this fucking not know how to read?

Luciano (49:48.192)
What? Segway?

Luciano (49:53.432)
He's a monkey. Yeah. Anyway, anyway, what? Anyway, like he only accepts her help because he needs her help. And from then on she's like, oh, he's nice. No, I'm gonna be nice to him. No, I'm not gonna betray him. Oh, she feels bad. Like none of that to me at least made sense.

Spencer (49:54.382)
He's a monkey. Monkeys don't have eyes. Hahahaha.

Matt (49:57.056)
Alright.

Spencer (50:17.09)
When should she have just fucked off completely?

Luciano (50:21.432)
and he abandoned her in hell I guess?

Spencer (50:24.358)
Yeah, but she still needed the... But... She... Yeah, she needs the staff.

Luciano (50:27.68)
The stick.

Matt (50:27.714)
She's stuck because she needs the staff so her village gets saved. I mean, that's the undertone of why she sticks with him as long as she should.

Luciano (50:34.16)
So okay, so she should she should have just walked away when he becomes a baby and gets stuck because he's eating Teleportation berries and he gets stuck inside whatever the fuck that thing was she should have just oh Pick it up and go see you motherfucker and just go help her fucking

Spencer (50:34.776)
Let's be real.

Spencer (50:43.831)
Yeah, I would have left.

Spencer (50:48.514)
I would have laughed my way all the way to the Dragon Bank and cashed my staff for a fucking weather storm.

Luciano (50:51.992)
Yes, same. I mean, it wouldn't have worked, right? It wouldn't have worked because the Dragon King wouldn't have helped, but you didn't know. Yeah.

Matt (50:56.938)
No, well, sure. Right. And then she wants to come around and help him again because she feels guilty and the dragon hangs a dick. That's fine. But when he goes full fucking monkey cunt and like tries to destroy the Jade palace and everybody in there wants to become

Luciano (51:13.152)
Well, even before she's like, okay, please help me. You're now a God, you're now immortal, you can help me. No, I'm not gonna help you, fuck you.

Matt (51:17.447)
Yeah.

Spencer (51:21.686)
Yeah, you know what, you're right. Everything she does, she has really no choice. She's doing it to get the staff. She shows hesitation, which is stupid, but she takes the staff, which she has no choice. And then she, the dragon, once the dragon fucks her over, she has to turn back to the monkey for help. She has no choice. But when the moment Buddha came in, she should have said, you should fuck up all these kings. The drag king, the monkey king, get these animal, they should not be running this place.

Matt (51:21.93)
Yeah, I think...

Luciano (51:37.065)
Yeah, that makes sense.

Luciano (51:44.83)
Yeah.

Spencer (51:51.522)
Fuck these guys! Fuckin' uh Catman was eatin' Monkey kids

Luciano (51:52.989)
Yeah.

Matt (51:54.306)
Here's, here's...

Matt (52:00.43)
Fine. Allegedly. You have no proof. So here's the thing I'm seeing. Because I think to some degree the story is faithful to the lore in the sense that the Monkey King basically goes up and finds out that the rest of the Immorals are kind of shitty and wants to overthrow them.

Luciano (52:00.561)
I don't think he was a god, but...

Spencer (52:01.262)
That's fine. Whatever.

Luciano (52:23.081)
Right.

Matt (52:24.754)
We have the challenge of you need to put someone who is for the children as someone they can see the movie through. So that's where you get Lin from. Lin's motivations are fine on their own because Lin is just trying to save her village. Those two things work on their own. The mistake was putting them together. In the children's movie you want to show that the monkey king isn't all bad.

Luciano (52:33.298)
Right.

Luciano (52:37.736)
Just trying to save her village. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Luciano (52:45.551)
Hahaha

Luciano (52:53.344)
Yeah.

Matt (52:55.363)
He kind of just is.

Luciano (52:56.484)
is. Yeah. He's a selfish asshole. There's no other... yeah.

Matt (53:00.446)
Yeah. And so when you make him do nice things, then his character becomes unrealistic because that's not how people work.

Luciano (53:07.824)
Yeah, he has no, like you don't believe, like when he goes and saves her, like the second time, right? When she purposely jumps, like she takes the teleportation barrier and falls. Even she's going, he's gonna come, he's gonna come, he's gonna come, oh he's not gonna come, because she, even she knows that he's a cunt. And like him going after her makes no sense. And then when

Matt (53:28.547)
Mm-hmm.

Luciano (53:36.412)
She like she betrays him and she feels guilty about it, which is fine. Like that. Like you said, this is a good lesson for the kids But then he fucks it like okay. So the dragon king fucked her over he asks for his help She asks for his help. He helps but then he becomes even worse an even worse problem And she again saves him. Okay None of that makes sense to me

Spencer (53:59.507)
It sounds like she's in an abusive relationship, and that's a terrible lesson.

Luciano (54:03.02)
And that is, I don't want to, I don't want to show that to kids is what I'm saying.

Matt (54:06.434)
So listen, we just ranted for 20 minutes on how evil the Monkey King is, and at no point was there fun or jokes to be had. And so I want to ask a simple question here. Why do you hate fun? Luciano?

Luciano (54:25.792)
I don't hate fun. Not today. Today I'm okay with fun. Abs and flows. Yeah. Okay, fine.

Spencer (54:27.034)
That's a lie, you know it.

Matt (54:27.159)
Hmm.

Hmm.

today. What's ebbing real hard right now? What if, what if to lighten the mood we ask some fun questions?

Spencer (54:37.367)
Hehehehehehe

Spencer (54:42.098)
I'd like that. More fun than this film.

Luciano (54:42.22)
Fine, fine, if you have to.

Matt (54:46.278)
Yeah, yeah. Hey, um How do you learn stickies?

Spencer (54:53.698)
The keys?

Luciano (54:54.93)
Yeah.

Matt (54:55.142)
Yeah, well the stick had a language that, you know, the Monkey King and Lin could learn. I assume it's stickies. Yeah.

Luciano (54:58.864)
It's... It sounds like... It's like... Some sort of Mongolian throat singing. That's what it sounds like he speaks. How do you learn it? Let's see. How fast do we want this to do?

Spencer (54:59.778)
Hmm hmm

Spencer (55:07.258)
Brrrrrrrrrrrr.

Matt (55:09.858)
Maybe.

Spencer (55:18.966)
I mean, I'm pretty sure there's a, have you ever heard of Duolingo?

Luciano (55:24.564)
Okay, you think there's T keys in Duolingo?

Matt (55:27.778)
First of all, the joke is the Rosetta Stones, because they are supposedly a thing. And then it was an app to learn languages, and you missed it completely.

Spencer (55:27.808)
Uh...

Spencer (55:33.09)
Whoa.

Luciano (55:33.193)
Okay.

Spencer (55:37.378)
Well, I'm not smart. So that sounds like a you problem. Sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.

Matt (55:40.522)
That's not smart, man.

Luciano (55:42.102)
I'm not a smart man.

Matt (55:46.85)
Continue your well-timed joke. Duolingo, yes, we've heard of Duolingo.

Spencer (55:51.234)
Well, Duolingo has stickies.

Matt (55:57.426)
Where, so how, how would one use Duolingo in, you know, sixth century China?

Luciano (56:06.412)
with a Rosetta stick.

Spencer (56:11.247)
You know, I... what am I? What am I supposed to say? You download it on your fucking tablet. Get it?

Matt (56:13.319)
Ha ha ha.

Luciano (56:20.032)
Which in this case is, you know, yeah.

Spencer (56:22.426)
It's made of stone! What's the deal with these stone tablets? They can't even get wifi!

Matt (56:22.742)
done.

Matt (56:28.629)
So some guy named Duolingo comes by and taps out all the different words for stickies on some tablets and gives it to you. Wow, that joke sucked. We're gonna move on.

Spencer (56:34.883)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Luciano (56:40.24)
Yep. That's better than the joke I was going to make.

Spencer (56:40.802)
What's the deal? With old timey tablets!

Matt (56:46.666)
Hey, uh, Yama, the demon king of hell. He doesn't do a good job. One would argue he does an extremely bad job. And I'm pretty certain he got fired. Yeah, he got fired. Because he doesn't just let them escape. He personally hands them their scrolls.

Spencer (56:58.474)
It just, the worst job.

Luciano (57:02.157)
Hard. He got fired hard from the job.

Luciano (57:10.812)
and tells them where to find the next thing that they need to find.

Spencer (57:11.095)
Yeah, the scrolls.

Matt (57:14.066)
Yeah, yeah, just points it out.

Spencer (57:14.81)
And also the scrolls he showed them, they had to find their names in a list of, literally a list of every name in existence. So they would have never found it. And then literally I'm thinking, I'm like, how are they actually gonna find it? Is the stick gonna be a fucking, like we always say, like the stick just is a MacGuffin that solves every problem? The stick can vibrate when it's near. Put it in your butt and you'll feel it.

Luciano (57:36.337)
Yeah.

Luciano (57:41.752)
See, that's what I was gonna say. That's how you learn stickies, but. Ha ha ha. Ha ha.

Spencer (57:44.434)
I was, you know, I was getting there. And then, but it said that he comes out and he has the two scrolls. He's like, you'll never find these two scrolls here.

Spencer (57:59.101)
There's no chance you'll ever find this thing in my hand.

Luciano (58:03.347)
Yeah.

Matt (58:03.726)
There's no chance you'll ever find the immortality thing right over there.

Spencer (58:06.786)
Oh, yeah.

Luciano (58:07.987)
Yeah, yeah.

Matt (58:09.602)
So anyways, he gets fired, presumably. And so, and I'm pretty sure that, you know, word spreads. So what job do you think he's able to get after this, after everybody hears how bad he failed at, you know, being the king of hell?

Luciano (58:12.608)
Hard for sure.

Luciano (58:26.964)
I hear the DMV is hiring. He'd be at home there with the stamping and the denying and the making people wait. He'd have experience with that.

Matt (58:37.141)
That's fair.

Spencer (58:39.822)
What does DMV stand for in sixth century China? He he he.

Luciano (58:45.38)
The donkey motor vehicle? I don't know. That was halfway, almost a joke. Thank you.

Spencer (58:48.986)
Alright, that was better than I've... That was... I'll give you a pass on that one.

Matt (58:50.798)
That's fine.

Matt (58:55.481)
Something. Workshop it. Maybe don't use it as your... What?

Spencer (58:57.802)
Stands for Duo Lingo. But oh no, it's happening again.

Luciano (59:00.14)
Ha ha ha! Duolingo, Duolingo multivitamin there.

Matt (59:06.862)
Spencer, are you personally sponsored by Duolingo? Do you have to get it in 70 times for the podcast?

Luciano (59:09.525)
Hahaha!

Spencer (59:09.823)
No?

Spencer (59:13.114)
No, muy buen!

Luciano (59:13.848)
Oh, Chris, Chris isn't here. So we lost our Werther's sponsorship.

Matt (59:15.075)
Ha ha.

Spencer (59:18.298)
I've worked their sponsorship. Yeah, I mean, I gotta say, they, back in that time, what's the worst job you have? I mean, it seems like those guys, yeah, but that's bad, but they'd probably, he'd probably be the guy in the Jade Palace who's just cooking the food. Because they're always making these banquet dinners, right? Remember that?

Matt (59:19.356)
Thank God for that.

Matt (59:30.655)
Probably shoveling shit from a stable.

Luciano (59:33.258)
Yeah.

Luciano (59:45.195)
Okay.

Matt (59:45.23)
So I'm not like the chef, I'm not like the guy that goes to design the meals. He's just like a sous chef who just makes fucking salad.

Spencer (59:48.587)
No, no.

Luciano (59:48.756)
No, like he has all he does. No, all he does is cut onions. That's all he does. Yeah.

Spencer (59:54.71)
and then holds the shit bowl. For when the, when the, yeah. They don't have toilets.

Luciano (59:57.588)
What, that escalated quickly?

Matt (01:00:01.202)
Why? When would but why is the ship all needs be held?

Spencer (01:00:05.594)
a for not normally but when you're when you're a god you expect these things

Luciano (01:00:06.796)
For punishment. For punishment! Yeah. It needs to be held for punishment. That's why.

Matt (01:00:14.246)
Okay, I mean, that's fair.

Spencer (01:00:16.246)
You think he's just gonna sit on a bowl that's on the ground? Like a peasant?

Matt (01:00:20.202)
I mean, I don't think you sit in the bowl, you just hover over it.

Spencer (01:00:25.238)
No, no, no. No, and when you're a god, they hold you like a baby over a bowl.

Luciano (01:00:25.625)
You squat, you squat is how they say.

Matt (01:00:27.705)
Yeah, I think that's the word.

Matt (01:00:33.043)
This is gonna take us in a direction I should know better than to take us into. But as an immortal, do you have to shit?

Luciano (01:00:35.108)
Nobody wants to go. No- Oh fuck, you're gonna go there?

Spencer (01:00:37.334)
I'm sorry.

Spencer (01:00:42.646)
No, but you do it for pleasure. Of course, why do you think he eats so much? He doesn't need the sustenance.

Matt (01:00:44.72)
You do for pleasure.

Right. But like, but you made it sound like shitting is an option. This is like, I'm going to eat for subsidence, but I'm not going to shit today. And it's like, no, I have to punish Yama. Yeah.

Spencer (01:00:55.926)
No, he doesn't eat for subsidence. He eats because he likes to, and he shits because he likes to.

Luciano (01:00:59.988)
Yeah, I was gonna say that no, that's the thing. You go there, you know, normally I wouldn't shit, but we have to punish Yama. So bring out the bowl. Yeah.

Spencer (01:01:06.894)
So hold the ball!

Matt (01:01:07.382)
Yeah. Bring out the shitting vol. Alright, well, listen, thank you for that. That was helpful. We really cleared that up. Next question. The Monkey King does many fighting things. What would you say his specific fighting style is?

Spencer (01:01:11.561)
The fu-

Luciano (01:01:28.784)
Monkey Kombat! Do do do. That's the one. Oh no, he went there. Yeah.

Matt (01:01:40.941)
Hahaha

Luciano (01:01:43.324)
That's actually pretty good. I have to hand it. Okay, that's good enough. Yeah.

Matt (01:01:49.744)
I think we're done on that. We've nailed it. We're gonna move on from that question because we cannot do any better. Hey, Buddha. Is Buddha the real villain of this movie?

Spencer (01:01:49.946)
Hehehehehehe

Luciano (01:02:01.224)
100%? That's like it's not even a funny question, it's just a valid question.

Spencer (01:02:04.162)
Yeah, Buddha, yeah, I mean, it's true.

Matt (01:02:06.396)
But, but, but that being said, even though the Monkey King is a giant cunt, Buddha is still worse.

Luciano (01:02:14.06)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:02:14.23)
Yes, because I'll just show my work. So first thing first, the Monkey King is born out of a rock and I assume Buddha made that happen, but it's not said. So I won't blame him on this. So first he says, basically every time that they try to put out the fire that is the Monkey King, Buddha goes, let him cook, right? They're like, don't mess with him.

Matt (01:02:16.893)
Alright, yep.

Luciano (01:02:17.429)
Go there.

Luciano (01:02:39.092)
Let him cook. Let him cook. Yeah.

Matt (01:02:42.652)
Let them cook!

Spencer (01:02:44.706)
To find his own way, right? That's basically what he says the whole time Monkey King keep fucking shit up. He's a complete asshole. He's got to find his own way he's got to find his own way and then at the end sure enough, he becomes a giant literal asshole and destroys That look like the town but maybe the world and all the gods and basically bring some play on the apocalypse on all deities and humans and world alike

Luciano (01:02:49.6)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:03:06.954)
Yeah, yeah

Spencer (01:03:13.762)
And then BOOTIC.

Matt (01:03:13.946)
Right, I just... When does this wrap around to Buddha is worse than that? Okay.

Spencer (01:03:17.671)
this so Buddha so Buddha lets all this happen and maybe even creates him and the whole time you think he has to find his way he has to find his way and at the end what does he do he says I'm gonna teach you a lesson I'm gonna lock you away for 500 years so you can find your own way that's not finding your own way that's he could have done that from the beginning

Matt (01:03:22.134)
Right.

Matt (01:03:39.186)
You forgot that he made a small child do his job for him.

Spencer (01:03:42.674)
Oh yeah, and then he outsourced his job to China.

Luciano (01:03:46.206)
Oh no!

Matt (01:03:47.957)
Hehehehe

Luciano (01:03:50.964)
Oh no! Not just to China, but to child labor in China.

Matt (01:03:51.678)
Oh damn. All right.

Spencer (01:03:54.801)
to child labor in China. That's the biggest reason. Yeah, exactly. Buddha is American capitalism.

Matt (01:03:55.374)
Hehehe

Luciano (01:03:59.348)
So, Buddha is Apple is what we're saying.

Matt (01:04:00.71)
Wow. Yeah.

Matt (01:04:07.63)
the

Luciano (01:04:08.079)
So, you asked why is he worse than Monkey King? Monkey King is a cunt, but he's a cunt enabler. That's what he is. Yeah.

Spencer (01:04:15.818)
Yes, which is worse because he should know better. Monkey King is a, what's the term? He's a creature of circumstance, you know? He's created without any family, without any loved ones.

Matt (01:04:16.002)
Alright.

Luciano (01:04:29.228)
He's a product of his circumstance, a product of his environment.

Matt (01:04:33.658)
Mucky, the Mucky King has free will. Why don't we learn to go too far down this road?

Spencer (01:04:36.758)
Of course, but it would be understandable to a degree for him to develop bad habits. Buddha's supposed to be an all-knowing god, and he creates this monster and doesn't give a shit, and then fucking just, he's like, he just fucking, like I said, he uses child labor to do his job and then locks him away for 500 years. What an asshole.

Luciano (01:04:46.904)
It just doesn't give a shit clearly. Yeah.

Luciano (01:04:58.599)
Yeah.

Matt (01:04:58.606)
So it was the most accurate portrayal of gods in a children's movie ever.

Spencer (01:05:01.57)
Yes, for sure in any movie

Luciano (01:05:03.084)
Yeah, yeah. He almost brings out the apocalypse and the Buddha just gives him a little time out basically. At the end. Yeah.

Matt (01:05:11.222)
Yeah, that's fair, he is immortal. 500 years is ain't nothing but a thing.

Spencer (01:05:13.474)
But like, did Buddha know he was gonna almost bring the apocalypse? Was that his plan?

Luciano (01:05:17.553)
I probably not.

Matt (01:05:19.306)
We'll never know.

Luciano (01:05:22.652)
Yeah. So yes, he is to answer your question.

Spencer (01:05:24.846)
WAH WAH! Hehe

Matt (01:05:30.314)
Um, that's great. Next question. The stick. Let's be honest. The stick. Like, isn't the stick the real hero?

Spencer (01:05:38.746)
That's fucking the best part of the movie, I'll tell you that much.

Luciano (01:05:38.752)
Yeah. It is the most competent thing in this movie for sure.

Spencer (01:05:44.922)
This movie should have been called The Stick or as a Simpsons, The Ananamic Carbon Rod and The Monkey King.

Luciano (01:05:46.496)
The stick. Yeah.

Luciano (01:05:53.332)
Like in small letters, the Monkey King. Yeah.

Spencer (01:05:55.574)
Yeah. It's like, that's the subtitle in rod. We trust.

Luciano (01:06:02.766)
Hahahaha!

Matt (01:06:03.202)
This isn't a porn flick, sir. Keep it PG.

Spencer (01:06:05.115)
I'm sorry. But no, the Rob is definitely the coolest part of the movie, but also they, I'm not gendering this stick, they, you know what, you're right. He.

Matt (01:06:15.114)
Mm-hmm. Thank you. It's... Are you sure? It's a strong phallic instrument.

Luciano (01:06:16.745)
Nice.

Luciano (01:06:24.204)
Hahaha

Spencer (01:06:25.822)
Um, like is like the voice of reason to like when the monkey king's like being a dick, it's like, he's like, oh, we should bring her along. She's, she's chill.

Luciano (01:06:33.065)
Not cool.

Yeah, I guess in that case, but the stick also helps the monkey king set the whole village on fire.

Spencer (01:06:42.894)
That's true. You know what? Fuck that rod. Ha ha.

Luciano (01:06:45.568)
I don't know, like, the Monkey King was nothing. Before he got his first part of immortality, he was basically nothing without the stick. When he was fighting the last demon, if it wasn't for the stick, he would have died from the fall, I think. Yeah.

Matt (01:06:57.928)
Mm-hmm.

Matt (01:07:03.586)
Fire Demon, yeah.

Spencer (01:07:05.006)
But even when he fights the first demon before he gets the rod, what are we calling this? The staff, the stick? Yeah, they call it the stick in the movie. Before he gets the stick, he fights the first demon with coconuts and apparently doesn't use his laser eyes or his super strength, which he appeared to have.

Luciano (01:07:10.528)
The stick, the stick, that's how they call it there.

Matt (01:07:12.738)
Yeah, they call this stick.

Luciano (01:07:17.364)
with coconuts and gets his shit kicked in. Yeah.

Matt (01:07:27.264)
No, no, don't use that.

Spencer (01:07:28.534)
So he doesn't use any of that. He spends his entire adult, going from age two to whatever, his entire growing years learning how to throw coconuts, which never comes up again. May I add the most useless waste of time.

Luciano (01:07:28.779)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:07:35.064)
Yeah. Childhood and yeah.

Luciano (01:07:41.654)
Yeah.

Matt (01:07:45.09)
Yeah, no, no other training in that montage. Just checking coconuts.

Luciano (01:07:47.009)
No.

Spencer (01:07:47.518)
Yeah, it's just chucking coconuts, which he never I thought he was definitely gonna have some sort of throwing weapon But no

Luciano (01:07:54.72)
He throws like fur that becomes clones, but that's it.

Spencer (01:07:59.676)
Oh yeah, that's weird. And yeah, but yeah, sorry. No, the stick though.

Luciano (01:08:02.156)
He does that twice.

Matt (01:08:04.214)
All right, this is I think we've lost the thread on the stick here.

Spencer (01:08:11.794)
I don't even know what we're talking about. You're right, we lost the thread. Oh, we're just leaving it, okay. We handled it. We're just jogging right through.

Matt (01:08:13.246)
Exactly. We're going to move on because we've lost this thread. We're just we're gone. It's fine. We said that. Probably is the answer to that question. But this is a good segue, because what are the Monkey King's powers?

Luciano (01:08:21.326)
The train keeps on rolling.

Luciano (01:08:27.169)
Hahaha.

Luciano (01:08:33.268)
has the power to be a vicious cunt, know that. Well, it's, he, yeah, that's how I know he has that power too.

Matt (01:08:36.403)
It's not a real power.

Spencer (01:08:37.698)
That's your superpower, Luciano. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Matt (01:08:40.727)
Wow, wow

Luciano (01:08:45.632)
Thank you. I appreciate it. It's good to be seen.

Matt (01:08:45.634)
So he's got some level of super. Listen, let's start with the Monkey King, not Luciano's powers. I don't give a fuck about Luciano's powers.

Luciano (01:08:53.388)
Sounds about right.

Spencer (01:08:53.596)
Monkey King is super strong apparently. And he shoots lasers which have varying degrees of effectiveness.

Matt (01:08:55.885)
Yes.

Luciano (01:08:57.364)
He...

Matt (01:09:00.877)
Sure.

Luciano (01:09:00.944)
You can't jump very, very fast and very, very far. Almost flight. Yeah, but not really because he can't really do it all the time.

Matt (01:09:04.702)
Right. Oh, it's like Superman flight.

Spencer (01:09:08.099)
Superman play.

Matt (01:09:11.806)
Superman shouldn't be able to do all the time. They just... Anyways, I'm not going there.

Spencer (01:09:11.87)
Late.

Spencer (01:09:15.23)
Listen, we're not talking about that either. He can, lightning makes him stronger? Is that always his ability or was that just after?

Matt (01:09:22.186)
Well, Lightning didn't kill him, I can't say he made him stronger.

Spencer (01:09:24.834)
No, it did make him stronger. That was how she tricked him.

Luciano (01:09:25.244)
No, it makes him grow. It makes him grow, yeah.

Matt (01:09:29.586)
Sure, whatever man.

Luciano (01:09:31.169)
But I think that only... I think that only happens after he becomes fully immortal.

Spencer (01:09:31.251)
What do you mean? Don't act like I'm making that up. That's in the movie.

Matt (01:09:38.407)
They just don't show it ever, he just does it and it happens. That's why.

Spencer (01:09:41.022)
No, she shoots him with lightning and then he grows and she's like, the lightning made you more powerful. And at the end she's like, his weakness is lightning to trick the bad guy. Yeah, but then the end the girl Lynn says to the bad guy, that was the whole finale. Did you even watch this movie? I'm saying it this time. That's fair.

Luciano (01:09:46.333)
Yeah, yeah.

Matt (01:09:48.777)
Oh, Wang Mu you're talking about.

Luciano (01:09:51.625)
Yeah.

Matt (01:09:54.612)
Yeah.

Matt (01:09:58.094)
No, I did. I was just. I think I was just high at the time.

Luciano (01:09:58.707)
Did you watch this movie, man?

Luciano (01:10:04.591)
Good decision I have to say. Yeah. Like I don't understand the laser, the laser eyes I don't understand. Yeah. It's not really a power.

Matt (01:10:05.942)
Yeah, I recommend it. Okay. But that's not a power.

Spencer (01:10:09.358)
so lightning makes them grow.

Spencer (01:10:14.678)
I mean, it kind of. Does lightning make you grow?

Matt (01:10:17.451)
How would you describe the power? No, but how would you describe that as a power?

Luciano (01:10:20.673)
Light knee absorption.

Spencer (01:10:22.142)
Yeah. OK.

Matt (01:10:22.55)
Thank you. There you go. There's the power.

Luciano (01:10:24.916)
You're welcome. He also has the laser eyes that work in weird ways because in the beginning he shoots it and nothing happens. And then at the end he shoots it and cuts the heavenly castle palace in half.

Spencer (01:10:36.372)
Yeah.

Matt (01:10:36.446)
Yeah, Spencer said that pretty much word for word, but you know, you needed a chance to talk, so get in there. I mean, I wouldn't either.

Spencer (01:10:39.86)
Whatever.

Luciano (01:10:41.187)
I don't pay attention to what Spencer says.

Spencer (01:10:44.404)
We needed you to have some dialogue in the scene, you know, to validate you coming on set. So, thank you. He clones himself. Cloning technology.

Matt (01:10:46.943)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:10:47.907)
Hahaha!

Luciano (01:10:54.26)
That's true.

Luciano (01:10:58.408)
Technology.

Spencer (01:10:59.318)
I don't know what you said the power we have to say it as an ability.

Luciano (01:11:03.144)
Yeah.

Matt (01:11:03.531)
cloning is fine.

Spencer (01:11:05.71)
Clonology.

Luciano (01:11:08.368)
No, please stop talking.

Matt (01:11:08.722)
It's like the study of colliding, that's not a power.

Matt (01:11:14.763)
That's moving clones with their mind. Oh, that's true. Yeah. That's right.

Luciano (01:11:15.328)
That's just moving clones. Yeah. No, it doesn't say anything about the mind. It's just moving.

Spencer (01:11:20.062)
I think I have that power. I have no I think I have that but I can move close with my mind. I've never seen one about to verify it. But there's a chance. Yeah, I'm cloned. I'm cloned a kinetic. And is that it? Does he I think he had other? Was there another power?

Luciano (01:11:27.712)
Hahaha.

Matt (01:11:28.406)
You're moving them away from you at all times.

Luciano (01:11:39.776)
Did he? No, for most of the things he does, he does because the stick is there. He can go to hell because of the stick. He can fly because of the stick.

Spencer (01:11:44.818)
Oh, he can... He can, um...

Matt (01:11:49.731)
Correct.

Spencer (01:11:51.963)
When he went to space, was that because of the stick?

Luciano (01:11:54.208)
He had the stick. Yeah.

Matt (01:11:56.022)
Well, technically he didn't go to space.

Spencer (01:11:58.263)
But technically he did.

Luciano (01:11:58.356)
Well, he did, but he didn't, right? Because Buddha is everywhere, but whatever.

Matt (01:12:01.158)
Yeah, I don't know if that's, yeah, that's not a power. That's just Buddha mind fucking him.

Spencer (01:12:05.344)
He can hold his breath for years.

Matt (01:12:09.614)
I think that's just immortality not-

Luciano (01:12:11.667)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:12:13.243)
Yeah, you know what? Maybe you're right there.

Matt (01:12:15.758)
I mean, immortality is a power he gains, obviously. Not being able to... All right, we're done here.

Spencer (01:12:18.707)
Here's a prehensile tail.

Spencer (01:12:23.095)
I mean...

Matt (01:12:24.558)
Lucy, I don't know, do you have anything you want to add or did Spencer Spencer's run on so little que knock it all out.

Luciano (01:12:24.732)
Hahaha

Luciano (01:12:30.792)
I don't know because I didn't pay attention to what he said but I'll assume he did.

Matt (01:12:33.006)
Perfect, we're gonna move on.

Spencer (01:12:34.678)
chugging along, just moving this train. Matt's just like, good for you, or I'm sorry to hear that. That was too long, I didn't listen. Good for you, or I'm sorry to hear that.

Matt (01:12:41.774)
Sorry for you man, or good for you, or whatever.

Luciano (01:12:41.916)
Yeah, I read all of that. Oh, good for you. Yeah. I'm happy to hear it. Are sorry.

Matt (01:12:52.174)
Yeah. Um, what are we gonna do here? Oh, you know, this is actually, it's a curiosity of mine, honestly. The elixir, we talked about the elixir to make you fully immortal. Not just old age, but all the other shit. But I gotta assume those gods have a way to send you back, right? Make you immortal. What?

Luciano (01:13:04.853)
Become immortal, yeah.

Luciano (01:13:11.233)
Yeah.

Matt (01:13:18.062)
Or how would a elixir of mortality be built? What's that? Mortality.

Spencer (01:13:22.722)
A lecture of mortality. You gotta assume Red Bull's in there.

Matt (01:13:29.166)
It's just a Red Bull Jaeger bomb.

Luciano (01:13:29.425)
It's the base. It's the base.

Spencer (01:13:31.994)
Yeah, yeah, just a straight up Jager bomb. This shit'll fuck you up. Fucking bring you down to earth real quick.

Luciano (01:13:33.556)
Oh no. Oh God. I like I, my brain actually conjured the flavor of a Jagerbomb inside Red Bull. That was disgusting.

Spencer (01:13:44.06)
I know, me too.

Matt (01:13:45.23)
Ehh

It tastes pretty good actually, I'm not gonna lie to you.

Spencer (01:13:49.078)
I like that. Yeah, I don't mind it either. I like the Red Bull. I mean what you know mortality I assume there'd be some blood in there

because blood is the symbol of mortality.

Luciano (01:14:03.128)
Okay.

Matt (01:14:04.174)
In what culture? Chinese culture?

Luciano (01:14:07.768)
Yeah, yeah, let's ask Spencer, the Chinese culture expert. Thank you, doctor. Thank you, doctor. Thank you. Thank you, professor.

Spencer (01:14:08.715)
I've yes I said yes it is do not I request no follow-up questions requested no follow-up questions moving on

Matt (01:14:13.614)
Okay. That's it.

Matt (01:14:22.926)
Alright, so what you're telling me is Red Bull makes a very secretive blood flavored Red Bull for use in immortality, sorry, mortality, yager bombs.

Spencer (01:14:26.33)
Alright.

Spencer (01:14:31.258)
Yes.

Spencer (01:14:36.186)
I believe I said the question time period has passed and I know for the comments.

Luciano (01:14:40.273)
No further comments. Yeah. What else goes in there? We gotta put some stuff that represents mortal life.

Spencer (01:14:53.594)
vaccinations.

Luciano (01:14:55.748)
Oh God, he's coming out of the fucking van again.

Matt (01:14:58.222)
I, no one, no one will call you. No one wants you here.

Spencer (01:15:00.826)
Sorry, sorry, it's your turn. It's your turn. Luciano, what do you got?

Luciano (01:15:03.896)
Um, I was going to say like depression, a spoonful of depression. Yeah.

Matt (01:15:04.11)
Um

Spencer (01:15:10.202)
depression oh i guess i guess it doesn't wow that's a good turn

Matt (01:15:12.078)
Ha! Holy shit!

Matt (01:15:17.582)
A whole spoonful, the last one had like a dash, shit, shit, it's like, fucking.

Luciano (01:15:17.656)
Uh, yeah, yeah. A spoonful of depression, a drop of anxiety.

Spencer (01:15:18.554)
Oh wow. They said to make you more, not to make you fucking sick.

Luciano (01:15:34.016)
It's an elixir of mortality. It should make you want to die. Is basically what I'm saying.

Matt (01:15:35.918)
Yeah. What else, what else is more than anxiety and depression?

Spencer (01:15:40.698)
And depression yeah, you know what I've tipped my cap to you You know what the exact depression is better answer than bread bullet blood

Matt (01:15:46.222)
Alright.

Matt (01:15:49.838)
I don't think we can get it all in there. It's a dash of yaggar, a pinch of blood, a splash of red bull.

Luciano (01:15:53.664)
Yeah, put it all together. Yeah, I don't see it. Ha ha.

Spencer (01:15:56.282)
Hehehehe

Luciano (01:16:02.785)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:16:02.842)
in a whole spoonful of depression. Just fill that bottle.

Matt (01:16:04.174)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:16:05.632)
Yeah.

Matt (01:16:08.654)
and a pinch of anxiety. Done.

Spencer (01:16:09.53)
Just a little spice. You know, you salt the rim with anxiety.

Luciano (01:16:10.012)
A pinch, just a pinch.

Matt (01:16:13.07)
Little soft bay of anxiety. Yeah.

Luciano (01:16:18.46)
And instead of instead of instant karma, which is in the immortality, I guess the pinch of instant drama, I don't know.

Matt (01:16:28.366)
Hey, you know what man? No, no, we had it. I don't know why you had a... You had it, you nailed it. And you just Icarized yourself. Yeah.

Spencer (01:16:29.85)
You went too close to the sun, man. We had it.

Luciano (01:16:33.649)
Yeah, I'm Icarus. Okay. I had to fuck it, it's what I do. I take the joke too far and it becomes an un-joke.

Matt (01:16:41.774)
You did. Moving on, we're just keeping it going. Keep the train on the tracks. Down, stop. Um, I think really now I just want to know, let's let's do the rankings. Let's let's use our ranking system. We're going S tier ranking system. S is the highest, F is the lowest. Feel free to put in F if you so choose.

Spencer (01:16:43.546)
Just chuck it! Just chuck it a lot! Choo choo! Let's go!

Luciano (01:16:46.772)
Choo-choo! Choo-choo, motherfucker! Hahahaha!

Spencer (01:16:57.082)
Oh.

Luciano (01:16:59.02)
Let's go.

Spencer (01:17:06.394)
That's not a recommendation. Hey, it's a note.

Luciano (01:17:07.544)
Wow, holy shit, that's a leading question, Your Honor.

Matt (01:17:08.206)
I didn't say anything. Moving on. No, we're just chugging through. Choo-choo. We're moving. We're going. Let's go Luciano.

Spencer (01:17:15.226)
Sorry, sorry, choo-choo! He's right every time.

Luciano (01:17:18.904)
Ha ha ha!

Luciano (01:17:23.328)
OK, so this was a very thin excuse for a movie. It was like honestly, before our conversation, I was more fine with it than I am now. Yeah, and like I there were a couple of good like, the animation is decent. It's not amazing, it's good.

Spencer (01:17:37.722)
That always happens on every episode.

Luciano (01:17:50.076)
I liked, like I said, I liked the soundtrack and I liked the cast. Actually, all of the cast was good. No complaints there. But yeah, the story is kind of, not the story itself, but like the way that they presented the story is, it was like, okay, but then the main character is a piece of shit. Um, why don't we call him a raging cunt? Is that, that the final? Okay. And, and like, because of that, the sort of the middle of, from the middle of the movie onwards becomes sort of like.

Nonsensical so before we started this conversation. I was gonna give it a C, but I have to give it a D now because it's just like Not it's not the worst like I didn't hate myself for watching it like I did with like Morbius But it's not good like I wouldn't want to watch it again at all. So it's a D for me

Matt (01:18:44.542)
Harsh, but too high. Spencer.

Luciano (01:18:47.232)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:18:47.258)
I mean, I think the best the word you're looking for Luciano with the main character is About halfway through the main character becomes quite grating It's just he really

Luciano (01:18:59.464)
Yes, so I just had a cunt. Yeah.

Spencer (01:19:01.562)
Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's great. Sorry. I misheard you. Yeah, it's a bit. Yeah, like this movie is fine. Like I'm not the demo for this movie. I don't really watch animated like kids movies because I'm fucking adult. But it was it was fine. Yeah, I watched it with my son and he seemed to like it. He probably would.

Luciano (01:19:21.332)
But I mean, you have a child, right? Like, you would assume that a movie made for children, like the best ones have something in there for the parents, right?

Spencer (01:19:30.682)
Yeah, I mean I liked some of the action sequences and some of the sub there were the odd joke here and there that I did think was kind of funny. Most of them weren't though. I just I just this movie just gave me a dash of depression. As we say. That like. But yeah, like to be like to be real like like yeah the voice acting whatever's fine. The animation was pretty good, but sometimes look pretty like.

Luciano (01:19:39.201)
Yeah.

Hehehehehehehehehehe

Matt (01:19:49.358)
Nice. Got him.

Luciano (01:19:51.367)
Keeping you mortal, as they say.

Spencer (01:20:00.442)
cheap at times. I thought sometimes it looked like, you can tell it's not like a Pixar, like top high quality animation, but like art wise it was cool at times. And whatever, give it a.

Luciano (01:20:02.006)
Yeah.

Spencer (01:20:16.154)
I was gonna give it an E, but I don't think it's that bad. I think I just didn't like it because it's not for me. So I'm gonna give it a D. I just, that's what I think. I think it's, if I were, like, I'll tell you right now, my son probably gave it an S, you know? So, yeah, like, yeah, he had a monkey, so it just, yeah, that's what he said.

Matt (01:20:25.71)
You're a coward.

Luciano (01:20:26.625)
All right.

Luciano (01:20:34.53)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:20:35.15)
Sure.

or monkey.

Luciano (01:20:41.392)
As for monkey, nice. Nice.

Matt (01:20:42.734)
As for monkey, yeah.

Spencer (01:20:45.338)
Those first words. It's for monkey. So yeah, like again, it's something for me. So I give it a D.

Matt (01:20:47.598)
As poor poor monkey

Spencer (01:20:57.178)
That's all. Yeah, I know I said it. I said that like I was gonna keep going, but I had nothing else. I give it a D?

Matt (01:20:57.582)
That's it. Sorry. Yeah. Okay.

Luciano (01:21:00.557)
Yeah.

Matt (01:21:05.582)
Um, so, you know, you're not wrong. The animation style is fine. There's a couple of spots where it's, you know, it's interesting animation. Um, I, here's where I'm giving it an E. Um, I don't know when I would ever watch this on my own. I would never have watched it on my own if I didn't watch it for this, this show. Not watching it with my daughter. The movie was a convoluted jumps hellscape of clips strung together for reasons.

The main character was not enough of a real character to have real character development. So everything they did was to appease a child and I am not a child and therefore arguably not a child. But it was just dumb, it's stupid, it's annoying. And like the acting was fine but just the story was so like grating and irritating that I would never recommend to a parent to watch this on their own. There are so many better movies for kids and for their parents in my estimation than this one.

Luciano (01:21:46.506)
Arguably.

Matt (01:22:05.102)
I know a lot of people like it and it tells the proverb or the Chinese folklore in an interesting way. It's just the children's format makes it suck.

Spencer (01:22:20.09)
Yeah, like I will say just to add to that, like we said at the beginning, me and Matt, I don't know if Luciano agreed, but we both thought it was like breakneck pacing and like the quickest cutting and stuff. But I wanted to say like, I watched this as well with my nephews in town and he's a 15 year old who is on TikTok for like, like he'll sit on TikTok for three hours. And he, like, I was like, oh, this movie, man. I'm like, I paused halfway through, I'm like, this is tough. He's like, oh, I like it.

Luciano (01:22:20.833)
Yeah.

Matt (01:22:21.134)
because I'm an adult.

Luciano (01:22:31.635)
Yeah. It's.

Spencer (01:22:49.37)
And I was like, really? And I think that pace is like good for, that's the pace their brains go at now.

Luciano (01:22:49.964)
Hahaha!

Matt (01:22:51.054)
God damn it.

Luciano (01:22:57.708)
It's the way to keep like a 15 year old engaged with the movie. It's this string, like you said, like 115 TikToks, one right next to the other. Yeah.

Spencer (01:23:01.338)
Yeah, like I...

Spencer (01:23:07.354)
Yeah, exactly. That's what it felt like. It felt like, like, especially the first half for me, it just felt like, like, a, yeah, like a blur of short clips. So I think that appeals to the, the new youth. I'm an old man.

Luciano (01:23:12.98)
A blur. It's a blur. Yeah.

Luciano (01:23:20.872)
It makes me for me, it makes me like not want to pay attention to it. That's what I like. Hurts my brain, ma.

Matt (01:23:21.198)
Woof.

Spencer (01:23:25.562)
It hurts my brain.

Matt (01:23:27.214)
Well you know what? I just... I just feel shitty because now I've become an old man who doesn't like the... Yeah. Right now. Other than the fact that I can't see things that are close up to me anymore. The fact that I'm like, the kids! Things are too fast! And I'm scared! And I'm uncomfortable!

Spencer (01:23:34.106)
Yeah.

Luciano (01:23:34.456)
Now, yes, now you've become an old man, right? Yeah.

Spencer (01:23:38.394)
today.

Spencer (01:23:42.298)
Hehehehe

Luciano (01:23:42.58)
Hahaha!

Spencer (01:23:47.226)
And it's too fast! There's damn kids and their fast TV! I'm scared! I'm falling and I can't get up!

Luciano (01:23:52.704)
And I'm scared.

Matt (01:23:58.126)
I'm giving it an E for I'm scared.

Spencer (01:24:00.794)
I'm scared.

Luciano (01:24:02.132)
It's scared. It's scared.

Matt (01:24:04.11)
You're scared. I'm scared. Don't worry, though. Next week, we're going to watch a completely different movie that is going to make us.

Spencer (01:24:09.818)
Back in my day movies were slow

Luciano (01:24:13.4)
Hehehehe

Matt (01:24:13.646)
Hopefully move on from this and talk about the movie for next week We are watching the outlaw Johnny black. It is I can only describe it as the Michael Jai white vehicle Let me you know listeners if you don't know what this is he came out in 2023 on Netflix I believe Sorry, no prime. It looks like not Netflix

Luciano (01:24:32.604)
I think so, yeah.

Oh, is it prime? Okay.

Matt (01:24:36.846)
I think it's a prime joint. Hell bent on avenging the death of his father, Johnny Black vows to gun down Brett Clayton and become a wanted man in the process while posing as a preacher in a small mining town that's taken over by a notorious land baron. That was one sentence. I didn't write it. IMDb has it.

Spencer (01:24:51.13)
Yeah!

Luciano (01:24:51.742)
Hahaha!

Luciano (01:24:56.157)
Hopefully the person who wrote the script, it wasn't the person who wrote the synopsis because.

Spencer (01:24:59.802)
The blurb, yeah.

Matt (01:25:02.286)
I'm not sure what's going to happen to this movie, but we're watching it next week.

Luciano (01:25:04.256)
hahahaha

Spencer (01:25:04.89)
but it's all gonna be in one sentence. The whole script.

Matt (01:25:07.182)
It's all just going to be talking to the whole movie. It is a western action film, so hopefully that will do us well.

Spencer (01:25:18.042)
Perfect.

Matt (01:25:18.222)
That's it. Well.

Luciano (01:25:18.688)
We're due for a good movie. Last couple of ones, I was going to say the last five or so have been kind of turds a little bit. No, it wasn't. No, it was not.

Spencer (01:25:22.17)
Mm-hmm

Spencer (01:25:28.25)
No, creator is pretty good.

Matt (01:25:30.542)
Yeah well it's fine. This one will be, the one after this one will be good. Yeah it's possible. Yeah. Alright we will see all of you next week to watch or talk about the outlaw Johnny Black.

Spencer (01:25:32.634)
It was pretty-

Luciano (01:25:36.696)
Sure, just keep telling yourselves that. We'll be right one day.

Spencer (01:25:42.01)
Hehehehe

Spencer (01:25:50.01)
Okay. Bye.

Luciano (01:25:54.6)
MORTAL!