Traffic School - The Great Ding-Dong Ditch Uprising and Other Crimes of Passion - 10/24/2025

This week’s Traffic School wasn’t a radio show — it was a supernatural roadside séance hosted by Viktor Wilt and Lieutenant Crain, beamed straight from the frostbitten edge of Idaho reality. It starts calmly, like a cup of lukewarm gas station coffee: Viktor complains about his garage being a hoarder’s tomb, a frozen labyrinth of junk preventing him from achieving the sacred dream of a frost-free windshield. Lieutenant Crain, ever the philosopher-cop, prescribes a two-word solution: Yard Sale. But not a normal yard sale — Viktor’s plotting an existential purge on Facebook Marketplace. “First come, first served, take what you can carry, no returns.” Suddenly the show sounds less like morning radio and more like Mad Max: Suburban Edition.

From there, it mutates into a buddy comedy about chaos and civic decay. Peaches — their off-screen chaos gremlin — gets dragged into the conversation as the Halloween jester of the apocalypse, parading around costume parties with his “lady,” probably near a Spirit Halloween dumpster. Then Viktor casually drops that he “saved the human race” yesterday. No context, no details, just a proclamation of biblical proportions wedged between jokes about mayoral elections and frostbite. Lieutenant Crain, baffled but loyal, agrees that yes, Viktor is a natural-born hero — though tragically, he missed filing for mayor “by a few minutes,” a metaphor for his entire life.

Then, in a moment of cracked brilliance, the show veers into political therapy. Viktor admits he and Crain disagree on literally everything politically but still manage to be friends, setting up one of the strangest yet most wholesome detours in radio history. Crain admits his wife insists he stay friends with Viktor because “he needs one.” This tender Hallmark moment gets immediately interrupted by a spam call mid-segment, which they take on air, mocking the robo-voice like two kids prank-calling the IRS.

And then — Traffic School begins. Peaches leaves a note asking if it’s illegal to fake your own death to see who shows up at your funeral, and Lieutenant Crain answers this with deadly sincerity. Apparently, it’s legal if you just want to feel something, but not if you’re dodging debt. “You can fake your death for emotional closure,” Viktor summarizes, “just not to beat the IRS.” From there, they spiral into the great Ding-Dong Ditch Debate of 2025. A woman on Facebook posted kids’ photos like they were wanted criminals for ringing her doorbell, and the duo spends a solid 10 minutes dissecting how society has lost its mind. Crain tells a story about being shot at with a 12-gauge while toilet-papering a farmer’s house as a teen — “we thought he was aiming for us, but he was just firing warning shots into the night sky.” Viktor laughs so hard he nearly derails the station feed.

Callers flood the line. Carl shows up to thank them for “free plugs,” which Viktor immediately monetizes, pretending to invoice him live on air. Then the subject shifts to snow tire law, with Crain somehow unsure whether Idahoans can legally use studs — until he Googles it and realizes winter technically lasts from October to May. “That’s half the year,” Viktor growls, “our state’s in a permafrost contract with Satan.”

Brandon calls next — a philosophical road warrior with two burning questions: one about unlined country roads and another about what happens if you’re attacked by wasps while driving. Viktor, nearly in tears, declares that no one can pass a sobriety test sober, let alone while being assaulted by hornets. Crain, trying to hold the show together, solemnly explains “officer discretion” while Viktor cackles, repeating “I know my cop jargon!” like a man on trial.

Then a child calls to ask if anyone’s ever ding-dong ditched a police station. Crain admits yes — once, back east — and the desk sergeant “did exactly what we tell people not to do: ran outside and shook them.” Everyone laughs like madmen. The show’s no longer about law or safety — it’s about human absurdity itself.

Jeremy, next caller, asks about driving a 1952 Ford tractor in the ISU homecoming parade. The question somehow devolves into a discussion about Chinese farmers, parade snacks, and Viktor pressing the wrong button on the soundboard while Crain laughs so hard he can’t breathe. By the time Patrick calls about speed limits in nighttime construction zones, the show’s derailed into metaphysical chaos. Viktor’s accusing the lieutenant of staring him down, Crain’s mocking a caller’s “response time,” and the soundboard’s screaming random noises like a haunted CB radio.

By the end, Traffic School feels less like traffic law and more like a fever dream where a cop, a DJ, and an unseen trickster named Peaches host an improvised survival seminar for small-town America. Between lectures on frostbite, fake funerals, ding-dong ditch warfare, and wasp-induced DUI tests, Viktor and Lieutenant Crain create something more powerful than news or entertainment — a broadcast from the edge of sanity itself. It’s chaos radio at its finest: unhinged, unstoppable, and completely Idaho.

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[police siren] Today it's just the Wonder Boy, and we've got our local Wonder Boy in the studio. [laughs]

[laughs] You're lucky you jumped on that, 'cause I was gonna say the same thing. [laughs]

How's Lieutenant Crane doing today?

Man, I'm doing good.

You're doing good?

Yeah. I'm doing real good, except, you know, we were just talking off-air about, if you've ever had a garage-

Oh

... it doesn't get any better than to pull out of the garage and your windshield's nice and clear during the winter months.

I know. I know.

Nothing worse than when you park it outside and you walk out and you're like, "What?"

I know, don't remind me.

It's iced over.

It's all that's on my mind, 'cause, uh, the last few mornings it's been borderline frosted over, and I'm like, "Oh."

[laughs]

'Cause right now there's so much stuff in my garage, I'm like, "All right, how do I possibly get all of this dealt with before that horrible stuff hits?"

Two words.

Ugh.

Two words. Yard sale. [laughs]

Yard sale. [laughs] Just start selling all the stuff in the garage, random boxes. Like when people, you know, just go get a mystery box on Amazon stuff.

$10. [laughs]

[laughs] I think you're onto something here.

Whatever you get, you take. You can't bring it back.

Just post a picture of my garage on Facebook Marketplace. "First come, first served. Free."

You move it, you get it. [laughs]

[laughs] Uh, yeah, last night I was, like, trying to come up with a game plan wandering around my house and measuring stuff. I'm like, "Okay-"

Cousin. [laughs]

A little bit, little bit. [laughs]

Move, freaking rock 'n' roll.

All right, this will fit there, but then I gotta move that giant thing back out to the garage.

And I don't want him over here.

[laughs] And then, yeah, I need to find, uh, you know, somebody who's big and will come help me move stuff, but that I can also tolerate their presence.

I was gonna-

[laughs]

I was gonna say Peaches' name, but yep-

[laughs]

... that was my thing. I do not want Peaches over here.

Oh, he's bragging it up. He's like, "I'm going to Halloween parties all weekend."

I've got a girlfriend.

Me and my lady, we're gonna go to Halloween parties all weekend.

You know why she is gonna go places with him on Halloween?

Uh-

'Cause he's behind a costume shop [laughs] just showing them off. [laughs]

[laughs] Sorry, Peaches, sorry.

"Let's see your boyfriend." "Oh, you can't with his mask on."

[laughs]

[laughs] Oh, man. Well, at least we've got something good going on today, and that's Traffic School powered by The Advocates. Did you hear that yesterday I saved the human race?

I knew you were a natural born hero. [laughs]

I- I did. I'm waiting for my, you know, uh, plaque from whoever the new mayor is. 'Cause we got the, uh-

Whoever it's gonna be.

We got the m- you know, m- mayoral race coming up soon.

And you just missed out on that, I heard. You just submitted your name just a little too late.

Just a little too late.

Kinda like your whole life. [laughs]

Yeah. I mean, obviously I'm not going to tell people who to vote for, 'cause that would be wrong, but make sure you get out and vote, 'cause local elections actually matter, Lieutenant Crane.

They do matter.

It's not like, you know, the presidential election where Idaho

votes are useless. [laughs]

[laughs]

It's true.

And once again, ladies and gentlemen, it's hard to know which side of the line that Victor stands on.

[laughs] I'm sorry.

But this is a good example. We're still friends.

We are still friends.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

So, man, why can't the whole world be that way?

I know. You and me completely disagree on everything-

Everything. [laughs]

... politically. Every single thing. But we still get together every week and laugh and have fun, you know. And I don't leave you nasty comments on the Mad Marvin Facebook page. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah, everybody should be able to get along, but-

And I tell my wife, "No, honey, I've gotta be nice to him. He needs a friend." [laughs]

That's true. The- the numbers are dropping. [laughs] At least on my Facebook friends' list. Every day, that number going down by a few. [laughs]

And to some, that means everything, right?

That's right. To some-

That's what we gotta get away from.

I know. Yeah, it- it shouldn't ... Uh, the thing is, people don't talk to each other in person that way, the way they act with each other on social media. It's- it's dumb.

There you go.

Hey there, you are live on-

This will only take a few minutes.

Oh.

Oh. [laughs]

Press nine or call 619.

See who we got.

[laughs]

See what they're, uh, selling us.

They're up early.

Yeah. I mean, come on. Who calls this early? Me.

[laughs]

"I pushed nine, connect me to an operator."

[laughs]

"Who is this?" "You called my show." Fine, I'll hang up on 'em. That's what they get.

[laughs]

Very ineffective-

'Cause you're a buyer.

Uh, who knows? They might've had something I really needed.

[laughs]

Garage cleaning service.

Yes. [laughs]

[laughs] I have been getting text messages from people like, "Do you need us to haul anything away?" [laughs]

[laughs] The jury's still out, I'll tell you, in a couple weeks.

[laughs]

[laughs] All right, people, we're gonna take our quick break. It's gonna be about two minutes, and then we're gonna kick off Traffic School powered by The Advocates Injury Attorneys. We would love you to call us and join the show, so get ready. [208] 535-1015.

Traffic School time. [phone] is that number to call. Join us on the show. It's fun.

Come on, Carl. [laughs]

[laughs] Carl's got something to plug, and we know it. Uh, Peaches actually left a question on the notepad here. Is-

When do I get to go to Victor's house again? [laughs]

[laughs] Peaches, you wanna move some stuff, tomorrow's the day. Come on down.

[laughs] When can I go to my only friend's house? [laughs]

Do you like lugging-... heavy music gear back up to the top floor-

[laughs]

... since I've moved it up and down multiple times. We can't-

Why is it so heavy?

I don't know. 'Cause it's, 'cause it's metal.

It's cool stuff. [laughs]

It's, you know, it's good quality metal gear-

Uh-huh

... that's crushingly heavy-

[laughs]

... in all ways.

[laughs] Geez.

No, you wanted to know if it's illegal to fake your death in Idaho just to see who would show up to your funeral.

Just to sit there, right? [laughs]

Yeah. Just to-

So that's, that's not illegal, but what is illegal, to do it to try to get out of any bills or obligations or contracts you may have.

Ah, go figure.

Hm.

Can't, can't beat the IRS.

Rules, rules, rules, rules, rules.

[laughs] So I saw this post, uh, that actually Peaches sent me yesterday-

[laughs]

... on-

Is that the only friend you have? [laughs]

Pretty much.

Yeah. [laughs]

Pretty much, that's all I got. Uh, it was from the Life in Idaho Falls Facebook group, and this woman was very upset that kids kept ding-dong ditching her house.

Oh, boy.

So, she has a Ring doorbell, and she posted all their pictures. And we're like, "If these are your kids, you tell them the next time this happens, I'm calling the police!"

[laughs]

Um,

I don't remember if we've asked this before, but is ding-dong ditching illegal?

Well, what you'd have is you'd go talk to them and say, "No more trespassing on that property."

Okay.

And then once they trespass... And then there could be some harassment, right? But I think, logically, the first step would be stop.

Yeah.

And then trespass 'em. And then if they come back, then there'd be a crime being committed.

Okay. It- it just amazes me how many people, like, they really get mad-

Yeah, and-

... about ding-dong ditch.

I did hear you talking about that a little bit yesterday, and I liked what you said. Everybody just turn it down a little bit, right?

Yeah.

We don't need

people chasing people down the road, pulling guns on them, shooting at them. We don't need that.

Yeah. No, it's better that they call the police.

Yeah. Call the police, let us come.

[laughs]

Don't lose your mind.

[laughs] 'Cause it, it just... Almost weekly now, I've been getting a story about someone, you know, chasing kids down in a vehicle and almost running them over or shooting at them or, you know, pulling out guns. It's like, I don't know, we used to ding-dong ditch when we were kids.

Oh, yeah.

I'm so glad we didn't have to worry about that. Like, I would tell my kids, "Don't do it."

[laughs]

"Don't do it. People are crazy."

We had an old grumpy gentleman in our area, and it's out in the country, right? But we knew he was grumpy, so we went there. He had ditches in his yard. He fir- or he, uh, flood irrigated his big green lawn. And so we went there and we're TPing his place.

[laughs]

We're not d- so we're throwing toilet paper where... He knew. He, he hears us. He comes out. We run, we jump in that ditch, and we l- we're laying flat and all of a sudden you just hear a 12-gauge shotgun going off. "Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom!" [laughs]

[laughs] Jeez.

We knew for a fact that night that he was shooting right at us, right? Well-

He was shooting towards you?

That night, that's what we honestly believed, right? We never went back there again [laughs] with toilet paper. But what I do know now as I got older is he blasted it in the air just a couple times [laughs] to let us know we weren't welcome. [laughs]

I would hope so. [laughs] And out in the country, I mean, yeah, it's gonna take a long jog-

[laughs]

... to run away. It's not the place to ding-dong ditch. But, yeah, you just can't do it anymore.

No.

People are... They're, they're too nuts, man.

There's a lot of things we used to do and think was fun that's no fun anymore because people lose their minds.

I know, like, uh, using Facebook. [laughs] You know?

Yeah. A- and I'll give you a perfect example. In law enforcement, we used to go for, like, high school and college dances and ask the, uh, person out for somebody and-

Okay,

... play a little prank on them. And, man, years ago, I done that for a college student, and, uh, the next thing you know, the mother got ahold of the chief, wanted me fired for

harassment and stuff like that.

Geez.

So we got a policy said, "No more."

Come on, people.

Now, I don't know if it mattered that I beat him with my stick. [laughs]

[laughs] Sweet prank, bro. [laughs] All right, let's go to the phones here. Okay, Bear, you are live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

Sunny, Sunny, Sunny.

Yeah!

[laughs]

We knew he was, we knew he'd be calling it... Did you see the strobe light going off?

Yes. But he-

Oh, okay. I had no-

... he must have been in the restroom. He must have had to take just a minute this morning.

Okay. [laughs]

[laughs]

I was like, "Is my phone system not working right?"

Yeah, it went off.

'Cause... Okay, I just happened to see the phone itself lighten up. But, anyway, Carl, what's up?

Hey, what's going on, man? Hey, I wanted to tell you guys I appreciate all the free plugs this year. Uh, last week you-

Hold on real quick, real quick. Did you wash your hands? [laughs]

[laughs]

Yes, sir. Every time.

Wash your hands! You're gonna get people sick.

Nothing-

When you-

Nothing in life's free, bro.

[laughs]

[laughs]

You think you get Victor here for free?

Well, I've, I've been sitting here taking down a note every plug.

[laughs]

[laughs]

30 seconds, 60 seconds. [laughs]

[laughs] I think people highly underestimate the value of my plugs if we were to talk about what you actually have to pay for a plug.

I think they underevaluate you.

Oh, yeah.

They do. They do.

Yeah.

[laughs]

I got a going rate and s- you know, when I don't get it, I ain't happy.

[laughs]

Oh, man. Well, good news, bad news. Uh, uh, bad news for me, it's the end of the car season. Good news for you guys, uh, it's the end of car season. No more plugs-

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Well-

Oh, man

... how about questions about the law?

Exactly. So Victor's favorite season is coming up. Uh-

Oh!

When can you put on snow tires?

Ooh.

Well, that's a good question.

Let me think about that. I think it's November 15th [laughs]. I'd have to look it up. It's coming up.

They actually have a-

Yeah, it's an on and off date, yeah.

Oh.

And I don't know that, but it, it does. It, it has one.

Interesting.

All right.

Yeah.

Well, um-

Well, j- not for, not for winter tires, but studded snow tires.

Studded snow tires. Okay.

Right.

All right.

Right. Well, right on.

Yeah. We'll, uh-

Not looking forward to that [laughs].

[laughs]

Yeah, I don't think anyone is. And, uh, we'll, we'll look it up though, and, uh, see if we can get you some, uh, some answers there, Carl.

Right on, right on. 'Cause I kinda need to put some snow chains on the Corvette 'cause I'm driving that thing.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Right on, man. Oh, again, appreciate you guys. That was an awesome event. And, uh, you guys have a good weekend, man.

Hey, you as well, Carl. Good to hear from you, man.

All right. We'll talk to you soon, man. Thank you.

Peace. All right, 208-535-1015, the number to call for Traffic School powered by The Advocates.

When do you think we should be able to start usi- using studs?

About June 1st.

[laughs]

Might as well let our taxpayer dollar go to fixing up them tore-up roads.

Well, it's actually October 1st to April 30th.

Oh.

So you can have them on now.

That shows how long our stupid-

[laughs]

... winter is around here. October 1st-

Chances of.

... to the beginning of May.

Chances of.

[laughs] All right, caller, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates Injury Attorneys. Who's this?

Charles McComby-Burns.

Oh, don't you get us call, Crazy J.

Yeah. No, it's Brandon again [laughs].

[laughs]

Brandon, what's up?

Excellent. Uh, just doing the usual thing. I'm gonna pull off the road here so I don't accidentally hit any-

He's impersonating Crazy J, is what he's doing [laughs].

Yeah [laughs]. And I, I was confused at first.

Yeah, I thought that was him 'cause I couldn't hardly hear it.

Yeah.

All right. Do you-

All right, so my question-

Do you wish it was?

[laughs]

I talked, I had a fun chat with Crazy J yesterday. It was a little, uh, unhinged.

Enough for a week.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

All right, Brandon, go ahead. What's your question?

All right. So out here, out here on these country roads-

Again.

... we have all these two-lane paved roads, but they don't have a yellow stripe down them.

That's not country.

90% of them just don't have the stripe. And I know the stripes are there to let you know when you can legally pass and safely pass and stuff like that. So how does the law apply to roads that don't have the yellow lines? Is it basically the same, just use common sense or-

Yes, sir.

Just-

If there's no lines out-

... close your eyes and hope for the best? [laughs]

Avoid intersections and make sure your sight vision's, uh, 600 feet.

Okay. That makes sense. All right, so I guess I'm being legal then. Um, also, let's say you're driving down the road and a bunch of wasps are in your vehicle and they're attacking you.

You're in trouble.

So you get distracted and you're, you're swatting at them and everything, and you start weaving and you go over the line, and there's a cop behind you and they pull you over. They're not gonna give me a field sobriety test, are they? 'Cause nobody can pass those even sober.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Especially when you're wearing the drunk goggles. Ugh, it's awful [laughs].

Yeah. "Officer, it's true. There's a wasp right on my dashboard right now. Shoot it." [laughs] "It's the evidence."

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

I mean, I guess you guys could 'cause somebody might be lying.

It depends. You could have a wasp and a, and a 16-ouncer both in your car.

[laughs] Absolutely.

[laughs]

It could happen.

So, yeah, that's when the officer uses discretion.

Oh, I love that.

Mm-hmm.

[laughs]

And you're the one that brought it up.

Yeah.

[laughs]

I know my, I know my legal terms.

[laughs]

I know my cop jargon.

[laughs]

[laughs]

The bottom line.

The bottom line is... [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

So, yeah, yeah. There, there you go, Brandon.

All right.

All right, dude. You have a good one.

Thank you, gentlemen.

See you.

Yeah, you too. [laughs] Bye.

Hey there, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates Injury Attorneys. Who's this?

Ooh.

Hello?

Hello?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, can you hear me?

Yes.

Hey, my, my kids were wondering if a cop station has ever been dingdong ditched?

[laughs]

Yeah [laughs], the police station ever get a dingdong ditch?

Yeah. Actually, there's a place back east, this was a few years back, that somebody was doing it, and all of a sudden-

Yeah, I was up to

... the, the desk sergeant-

And I was watching

... loses his mind-

And it was really funny you guys

... and does exactly what we ask you not to do. He runs out and grabs them, shakes them around a little bit [laughs].

[laughs]

[laughs]

Might've had something like that happen locally, if I recall, in Blackfoot [laughs].

Yeah.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Ugh. So-

That's awesome. Thanks, guys.

Hey, thanks, man. Have a good one.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Hey there, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

It's Jeremy. How are you guys?

Jeremy, great. What's up, man?

I got a tractor question for Sergeant Crane. We have a 1952 Ford N tractor. Has headlights, but no rear lights. I understand that you have to display the orange triangle on the back for slow-moving vehicle. Is it street legal to drive around?

Uh, you can drive it a half hour, uh, before, uh, sunrise, and a half hour... or a half hour after sunrise, and half hour before sunset, legally, as long as you have the slow-moving triangle on the back.

Figured as much. And I was using hand signals while I was stopping at intersections. So you-

And th- the implement like that doesn't say you have to even use hand signals. It's a farm implement.

Yeah.

You just need to be cautious.

Yep. 'Cause we were gonna try to put it in the frame for tomorrow, but, uh-Couldn't get a hold of Crazy Carl to find out if he's gonna be part of it.

[laughs]

Uh, did you know July's over? [laughs]

[laughs]

Well, this is the ISU Homecoming Parade tomorrow.

Oh.

Oh. Sounds like you're good to go.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just a matter of, if there's somebody I know that's already entered or we can get in with them.

Yeah.

That's gonna be a long drive from Idaho Falls. [laughs]

[laughs]

No, I'm, I'm here in Pocatello.

Oh.

Nice.

Thanks for straightening that up.

Good. You think people from Idaho Falls give a crap-

[laughs]

-about the ISU Homecoming Parade? Nah, just kidding. Go, go Bangles.

[laughs]

If not, I'm gonna find at least somebody that I know within one of the groups in the parade, because I have a ton of, uh, you guys know what I distribute, snacks to give out on the parade ground.

[laughs] I was like, "You can't throw that stuff out to the kids."

[laughs]

That's i- illegal to adults.

He's trying to build his business.

[laughs] Free samples.

It is a little bit of beer, you know?

[laughs] Well, Jeremy, uh, I hope it goes well, and, um, appreciate the call, man.

Thanks to all you hemp farmers out there.

[laughs]

[laughs] Uh, well, we used to keep it in lava and used to hook a trailer to it, and while they were, people were floating, we'd pick people up and drive them back up to the top.

That, that's pretty nice of ya. Pretty nice of you, man.

It's fun. People give us tips just because they thought it was neat that such an old tractor was out on the road.

I mean, geez, I entertain people four hours a day. How many tips do you think I get?

I've given gave you a couple, you don't take them to heed.

[laughs] I know. [laughs]

Hey, last w- last week, I taught an 18-year-old kid how to drive it. I taught my roommate how to drive it, and the guy that actually owns it, his wife's 50 years old, Chinese lady.

Well, I don't know what that is.

And we taught her. [laughs]

I don't know what just happened there.

[laughs]

That was not the button I was trying to push. I was trying to give you a, uh, nice old-

Oh, good for you.

Good for you.

[laughs]

Yeah. Figured that was gonna get dumped. [laughs]

Well...

All right. Well-

Well, j-

I'm gonna go back to work now. You guys enjoy your day.

Thanks for doing your part.

All right, have a great day.

You too, Jeremy, see you man.

K-Bear, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates Injury.

Just, just real quick. Have you ever done that many good things in your life?

Oh, dude, I, I do so many-

[laughs]

-all the good things. All I do is good. I told you yesterday, I saved the human race. [laughs] Hi caller, what are-

Congratulations on the human race.

[laughs] Thank you. Who's this?

It's Patrick.

Patrick, what's up, man? What do you wanna know?

A couple things. First-

[laughs]

-how's y'all's morning going?

Hmm. I mean, the cops are hanging out, so hmm.

Yeah. Not, not real well here at the studio, but-

He's got the uniform on and everything, makes me a little bit nervous. It's Friday, you know?

Yeah.

Getting close to the end of the year, that's when bosses tend to drag radio people out of the building.

[laughs]

So... [laughs]

[laughs] All right. A

question about traffic zone, or not traffic, construction zones on highways during night.

If nobody is working out there, say in Pocatello, and there are no signs saying reduce speed or anything else, what are the rules when so, going through that construction zone?

So, if all the, uh, speed signs are taken down, there's nobody in the work zone, that can go right back up to regular speed. But if it is marked in a black and white speed zone sign, then you have to apply, uh, apply that.

So, all right. 'Cause it was kind of hard to see driving at night through Pocatello and trying to, I guess, basically guess what the speed limit is once out there.

Yeah, especially if you've been consuming alcohol. [laughs]

No, I was coming back from Oregon.

I can't open my eyes. [laughs]

I was coming from Oregon at that time.

Ah.

Oh, yeah, that too.

[laughs]

That'll slow your response time down. [laughs]

So...

Kind of like this phone call. [laughs]

Yeah.

[laughs] What do you mean?

[laughs]

[laughs]

Explain yourself, mountain.

[laughs] The mountain.

Your response time.

[laughs]

So, what that is is the time from the time you're asked a question till the time you respond with the answer.

[laughs]

Oh. Well-

[laughs]

[laughs]

I'm as sober as a judge. [laughs]

[laughs]

I've known a few judges.

Yeah.

[laughs]

I bet not all of them are sober. [laughs] Having to put up with what they have to put up with.

Yeah.

Got that, uh, you know, glass of water on the desk there.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Nothing better than getting home at 5:00 and relaxing. [laughs]

Well, appreciate it.

Actually, I, I am a... I'm actually going on 11 months sober now.

Good job. Congratulations.

Oh, good job, Patrick.

So..

Well, v- very good work, man, and I hope you can keep it up.

Me too.

We'll appreciate it.

All right, well, y'all have a safe Halloween, and take care.

You too, Patrick. Good to hear from you, man.

Likewise.

Peace.

Night.

K-Bear, you are live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

This is Bennett.

Bennett, what's up?

Well, I, I got a sort of hypothetical for you.

Yeah, your cousin, right? [laughs]

Yeah, e- exactly. So-

It was my cousin's wife.

[laughs]

[laughs] All right, l- let's just not, we don't want to give the listeners any ideas of where to start calling with questions again.

[laughs]

So,

I've got a, a 16-ouncer in my hand. I'm driving down the interstate.... pulls on... comes down the, the on ramp, onto the interstate. And, uh, kicks up a rock, cracks my windshield. Now, the, the truck

has no mud flaps and the tires stick about four inches

out of the, the wheel well. If I took a picture of his license plate,

is he liable for my windshield?

Okay, that's a great question and the answer is this: anything off... N- now, he would definitely be in violation, multiple violations, right? Over width tires and no mud flaps. But when it comes to road hazards, anything that comes off the paved portion of the road from being flicked up is just considered a road hazard.

Ah.

So, I was curious about that.

Sorry, man.

Well, thank you.

Now, the 16 ounce open container, definitely an arrestable syllables. [laughs]

[laughs] You guys had a couple guys pulled over on the interstate. I waved as they drove by.

With one finger, didn't you? [laughs]

[laughs] Exactly.

[laughs]

You're number one!

Don't drink and drive, Bennett. It's not cool. All right? It's not cool.

No, I, I wasn't. But I, I had a truck do that to us last night. I was... I had to pick my wife up at the, the airport last night at one o'clock this morning.

What made you decide to bring her home?

Well, I...

[laughs]

[laughs]

It would have been bad if I didn't.

Thought you were gonna book a return flight? [laughs]

[laughs]

Exactly.

[laughs]

No, she was, she was stuck in Seattle for a long time because of that Alaskan Airlines outage yesterday. So, she-

Yeah, that sucks.

Yeah, her flight was supposed to leave at eight o'clock last night, and it didn't even leave Seattle until

10:15 their time, so 11:15 our time.

That's fine. I get the gist. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Oh, well, glad she made it back, Bennett. Sorry about your windshield. I had somebody, uh, kick up a rock on my windshield on Lincoln yesterday, just a little car, you know? Didn't, as far as I know, make a crack, thankfully.

Yeah, luckily it didn't make a crack in ours either, but I was just curious because the truck was definitely

not road worked.

I, you know, uh, Bennett, I don't know if you know this, but some people break the law.

[laughs]

Just, you know, they don't care.

And you know why? What, what's good about that?

No.

That gives me an opportunity to have a job [laughs] because if everybody followed the law, I wouldn't have work.

That's true. That's true. So keeping the cops in biz.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Well, I, I'm glad we could keep you hopping.

Thank you, sir.

Yeah. You have a great weekend, Bennett.

You too. See you.

See ya. Okay, Bear. You are live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

Hey, it's Carl again, man. Uh-

Get outta here!

[laughs]

You get out. You, you get!

[laughs]

You get!

Quick question about tractors.

[laughs]

Uh, that guy just kinda...

Oh, Jesus.

I don't know. Uh, do you, do you have to have an operator's license and, uh, is there an age limit that you can drive a tractor on public roads?

The things Carl ponders on. [laughs]

[laughs]

No. [laughs]

We could do a segment of that every Friday. What Carl ponders on.

Oh, oh, you're always... [laughs]

Yes.

[laughs] Always.

What work does Carl get done?

[laughs]

What does Carl ponder?

Not much. [laughs]

Carl, I gotta be honest with you. If I was your employer, I just don't know if this hour I'd pay you.

[laughs]

No, no, just cut him off. Cut him off.

[laughs]

So, back to your question. There's, uh, on an implement like that, you don't need a driver's license. You can operate that implement without a driver's license. And what was the other part of that question?

I think it was even on a public roadway.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. And there's no age, right?

Yeah. Right.

I, I was loving it when, uh, that guy was like, "Yeah, I taught a 50-year-old how to run and an 18-year-old." And I was thinking, I remember some visitors come to our house from another state and it had snowed. And I told my wife, "Hey, have my son go out and..." Or, or our son [laughs] go out and plow the, uh, the parking lot so they could get in and out. They're not from this state. They got there. They were upset 'cause he was now pushing our area out away from our house, as you know-

Mm-hmm

... very well. And, uh, they were upset to know that there was a young child operating that huge piece of equipment. [laughs]

[laughs] This is Idaho.

And I said, "Well, if he wouldn't have been, you wouldn't have got in, so..." [laughs]

Yeah. [laughs]

And I think he was like nine at the time.

Nice. [laughs]

Yeah.

So-

Oh, man

... yep, we're an agricultural community as they say. So-

I see

... gotta put those kids to work. [laughs]

[laughs]

So I, I mean, so if I, if-

Woo!

... I buy my kid a tractor to drive to work, is that, uh, uh, legal? [laughs]

Well, he's not supposed to work till he's 16, but he could dr-

No. Right.

If you didn't want to drive him to school, get him a nice little lawn tractor, a lawnmower. [laughs]

Yeah. I mean, they

Hey, there you go.

Aren't they supposed to be involved in some type of actual-

Yeah

... you know, a- activity involving-

Work.

Yeah, some actual work with this-

Not just driving it to high school to go to-

Yeah.

Right, right, exactly. Yep. Right on, right on. I was just wondering. Right on. [laughs]

Right on, Carl. You have an awesome weekend, man.

Hey, Carl, try to do-

All right, you guys too.

... something productive today. [laughs]

Get to work. Do your job. [laughs]

[laughs]

I, I, I bet- Yeah. Uh, they got cameras, man. They're probably watching me right now.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Pretend to be busy. I was talking to a client.

Smile and wave.

[laughs]

Right on. You guys have a good weekend, man. We'll talk to you soon.

Hey, you too, Carl. See you-

Back to seven days. [laughs]

[laughs] Yeah, I had, uh, pulled up our questions from last week online and, uh, a guy named Jerry got really mad, it would appear. He says, uh, "I have questions on here, but all you do is take calls about goats and if my band can play on a flatbed."

[laughs]

[laughs] You gotta call us, Jerry. You know, the people who, uh, get frustrated about us not answering the online questions, we prioritize the live callers.

Absolutely.

Yeah? They're participating in the show, unl- I mean, I guess you guys are sort of participating online.

'Cause if Carl don't call, he's got to work.

Yeah, exactly! He's risking his job-

[laughs]

... to take part in this program. Um, is it legal to have LED lights inside of your vehicle?

It- it is, yep.

Long as they're not flashing red and blue, I guess, and distracting people?

No red and blue, and they can't obstru- uh, obstruct the vision of people coming or, uh, behind you or towards you in the front.

All right. So there you go, Jenny. Let's... Oh, there were some people replying. Let's see what they said, uh, 'cause it- it's fun to see people who give out incorrect information online. Uh, oh, looks like they just had a nice discussion. But yeah, it looks like they, they were, they were pretty spot on with the, uh-

We love you, Jenny

... not distracting other drivers and things like that. Well, do we have a question from Peaches or are you just coming to hang?

No, the- the picture that I showed you yesterday about the, uh, signal, the yellow light?

Oh, yeah! I totally forgot about that. Um-

Did- did you know Peaches got a girlfriend?

Peaches has a girlfriend.

[laughs] She's making more than mess like you said.

[laughs]

[laughs] No, Peaches saw this thing on, uh, Facebook and it was like a, "Would you believe?" Or, "Did you know?" And it said that, uh, yellow lights, the- the length of their duration is determined by the speed limit.

Yeah.

Is that... That's true?

Mm-hmm.

So, like, it's a second for every 10 miles per hour?

I don't know what the formula is, but yeah, if it's a 35 mile an hour zone, it's a shorter yellow light than if it's a 60 mile an hour zone.

Oh.

Look at that, there's some truth on Facebook, Victor. [laughs]

It- Well, tr- somewhat truth. We don't know the formula.

[laughs]

You know, they could be lying about the formula, but there's a lot of misinformation floating around-

Yeah

... online and I've been complaining about it a lot.

No way. [laughs]

[laughs] K-Bear, you're live on Traffic School, powered by the advocates. Who's this?

This is Blake. I always appreciate, you guys start the- the phone call with a good chuckle.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We- we like a nice laugh. We want you to come in feeling, you know, welcomed-

Loose.

That's right.

Feeling loose. [laughs]

[laughs] So-

Welcomed, I feel.

So what up, dude?

All right. Uh, if I'm going down the road, it's like a, like one way or- or flow of one direction, it's going one way and the other side's going the other direction, right?

Tha- that's the way most of our roads work, yes.

Most of them, except for those roundabouts.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

But, uh-

Yeah, so we do try to get traffic able to go both ways.

Both ways. That's- that's great. But if someone's turning left, let's say someone's turning left, um, can I go out around them on the side of the road or do I have to wait for them to turn?

As long as all four tires do not leave the pavement and that's on a two lane.

So two tires can go off the pavement?

Yeah. If you're on a two-lane road

with no, uh, curb or shoulder and you- you're passing on the right, you can pass as long as all four tires don't leave the pavement.

All right, there it is.

And I would do so with caution.

Caution.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah, don't whack somebody in the crosswalk 'cause they're like, "Oh."

[laughs]

Dang it. [laughs]

[laughs]

Take out their mailbox as well.

Oh, there goes my windshield.

[laughs] Well, there you go, Blake. Appreciate the call today, man.

Yeah, thank you guys.

Peace.

All right. Any last minute calls? [208] 535-1015. The number to call for Traffic School, powered by the advocates. Uh, Joe wanted to know online if you have- if you still have to go 20 in a school zone on days without school, like midweek, holidays and such.

Uh, absolutely. If it's just marked with a black and white 20 mile an hour sign, you do. When you don't have to is when it says, "When kids are present or Monday through Friday at this time."

All right. There you go, Joe. And let's see if we had any other questions from today. Oh, geez, that's a paragraph.

[laughs]

Th- There were some long ones in there, yeah.

Yeah. Holy cow. Um, let's see here. Okay, Peaches posted his, uh, yellow light thing. Uh, what's the speed limit in a parking lot?

Reasonable. [laughs]

Just reasonable? All right, the- there we go. I- I'll have to read through the rest of that and, uh, bring it up next week 'cause there-

This is the- this is the crazy part about a parking lot, right? Sometimes they are posted, but if they're not, the only thing you can be cited for is reckless. So you're, you're not getting a speeding ticket in there, you're gonna get a reckless citation.

Oh.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you wanna be cautious on that.

Um, let's see, 'cause the guy's saying, "I see so many people speed, on their phones or, or, you know, they're on their phones in the parking lot." Uh, they want to-

They're on their phones everywhere. [laughs]

Yeah, and-

[laughs] Yeah

... he's saying we wanted to add speed bumps.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, I guess you're right. [laughs]

[laughs] I guess, yeah, add the speed bumps.

I'm just gonna keep reading.

[laughs]

Right. [laughs] I don't like to pay attention to the police. I like to-

Yeah

... put them on the pay no mind list.

That's a great impression right there. [laughs]

Yeah. Who's that to my left? [laughs]

[laughs] Um, how clear do you have to have your windshield, speaking of?

Real clear.

Real clear?

We talked about that, right? Cleaning it off 'cause of ice in the morning. But yeah, you have to be able to see. You can't just make a two by two inch space in front of you, you've got to be able to see your surroundings.

All right-

What if there's a sunroof and I peek my head out of it?

No obstruction. Yeah, that works. But no obstruction.

[laughs]

Yeah.

All right. Let's do one final call here. K-Bear, you are live on Traffic School, powered by the advocates. Who's this?

This is Josie.

Josie, what's up?

Not much. How are you gentlemen this morning?

Amazing!

Yeah!

Well, it's Friday. That's the right attitude.

Heck yeah.

[laughs]

Well, thanks for calling. I'm-

[laughs]

Yeah, glad we could answer that for you, Josie.

Of course. Of course.

You have a great weekend, man.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Hey, I was just curious, I'm pretty sure Lieutenant Crane seen Super Troopers the movie.

He's shaking his head no.

I was just curious if... I was curious if he's ever played the Meow Game or if he's ever played Repeater?

[laughs]

Well-

[laughs]

Meow, we want an answer, meow. [laughs]

[laughs]

I haven't watched the movie. Unfortunately, if you've listened to this program, I'm not a, a movie guy.

Yeah, he doesn't do anything except work.

[laughs]

I, I don't know what the deal is, but that's, that's all he does.

Yeah.

So...

Right on.

He should watch that movie. I think he'd like it.

I think he would too. I, I think he would.

You know, Mrs. Crane, if you're listening, will you make this guy sit down and watch a movie?

Oh, great. You are just kidding-

He needs to relax.

She does enjoy that and I need to do a better job at doing it with her.

That's right, take care of your lady!

[laughs]

You sit down and watch Super Troopers with her.

I'm sure that's a movie she'd want.

[laughs] More cop specials. "I have enough police in my life. No." [laughs]

[laughs]

I'd, I'd love to hear about his experience playing the Meow Game or Repeater with somebody on the side of the road-

See-

... on one of these episodes of Traffic School.

All right, you gotta watch the movie now, Lieut- Lieutenant Crane- Gotta go to work. Yep

... so you know, you know what he's talking about. [laughs]

[laughs] Well, Josie, we appreciate the call, man, and you have an awesome weekend, dude.

You too, gentlemen. Thank you.

See ya. There we go.

That's it.

Another show-

That's a wrap!

... Traffic School, powered by the Advocates. Catch it every Friday morning, 8:45. And, uh, if you wanna see Lieutenant Crane, he's gonna be hanging out at the fights we talked about yesterday, tomorrow night in Pokey, 6:00 PM at the Mountain View Event Center just off of I-15 by the, uh, by the Grace Lutheran Church over there. You can't miss the building.

Come up and say hi.

Come up and say hello. Get a selfie, post it in the K-Bear group-

[laughs]

... and watch some people punch each other in the face. [laughs]

[laughs]

Traffic School is a production of Riverbend Media Group. To get more info on the show or to contact us, hit up our website, riverbendmediagroup.com.

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