Jess Ekstrom - 00:00:02:
Welcome to Amplify with Jess Ekstrom, a show designed to help women get out of their head and into their zone of influence. Happy Monday, everyone. Here's some food for thought to start your week. A few years ago, I was at this women's retreat for high achieving women. And if you're not looking at me right now, I have quotes up for high achieving. Everyone was in their mid-20s to mid-40s. And one evening, there was a happy hour bonfire. And I was standing out at the bonfire talking to a group of women. And I noticed there was a woman there standing by herself, presumably in her mid-70s. And I walked over to chat with her. And she was absolutely lovely. I learned that her name is Ellen Vaughn. I learned that she's an author. I learned that she's been taking care of her sick husband for years. I learned about her kids and her grandkids. And somewhere in the conversation, I asked her, do you get uncomfortable going to solo events like this where you're the only woman your age? And in hindsight, now I'm thinking about this. I'm like, what an inappropriate question for me to ask. However, I'm so glad that I was dumb enough to ask this because her response. Is something that I've carried with me ever since. And she said, at first, when I walk in, I get uncomfortable or unsure of myself. But then I say two words that gets me through just about anything. And I was just on the edge of my seat. I was like, what are these two words? And she said, I just say, oh, well. And keep moving. Oh, well. Those are the two simple words that, yes, seem so simple, but they allow us to push past moments of discomfort without putting in the effort of writing a story in our heads to make it mean something. Let me give you an example. Let's say maybe you show up at a networking event and the group of people you already know have all saved seats at a table and there are no seats left for you. You could either, one, tell yourself that they just don't like you. They forgot about you or they intentionally left you out and didn't save you a seat. They called each other ahead of time and said, remember, do not save a seat for whatever your name is. Those are the stories we can tell ourselves. Or you walk in, you realize there's no seat for you, and you could go with this option. You could say, oh, well, and then go find a new table with people you've never met and start a conversation with them. No story, no presumptions, no meaning behind the experience. Why are these two words, oh well, so powerful? Because oh well washes away the possibility for your mind to fill in the blanks with a negative story. Of course, some things sting and some experiences hurt and it's okay to acknowledge that. But if we take every inconvenient moment in our life and make up a story as to why the CVS cashier was rude or how our boss's email seemed a little too short with not enough exclamation points, I always like read into that. Then we will run all of our creative energy and ambition into the ground from chasing made up stories that have actually like nothing to do with it. And all they will do is. Diminish our big ideas and forward progress because we have no energy left. I'll admit I'm not a diligent meditator, but one lesson I learned about meditation can definitely be applied here. Try treating a thought. Like a thought bubble with nothing written in it. It's a thought. Don't cling to it. Just like a cartoon with that thought bubble above their head, but there are no words inside of it. Try that. So I'll leave you with this. Don't get mad at the negative thought or try to make it mean something about you or the situation. Be glad that you were aware enough to notice it. Thanks for listening to Amplify. If you are a fan of the show, show us some podcast love by giving us a rating and review. And give us a follow @micdropworkshop and @jessekstrom. Coming up on Amplify.
Britt Frank - 00:04:47:
No one's inner critic is installed at birth. There's no baby lying in a bassinet going, don't cry. Don't, you know.
Jess - 00:04:54:
You're weak. Yeah. Yeah.
Britt Frank - 00:04:56:
You're a terrible baby. Like, don't cry. You shouldn't need a change. That's not a thing. So all inner critic voices that are mean and hostile, just assume it came from somewhere that's not you. You don't need to know why. You don't need to know who. It got installed by someone else and seen.
Jess - 00:05:13:
This episode was edited and produced by Earfluence. And I'm Jess Ekstrom, your host. Remember that you deserve the biggest stage. So let's find out how to get you there. I'll see you again soon.