Now or Never: Long-Term Care Strategy is a podcast for all those seeking answers and solutions in the long-term care space. Too often we don’t fully understand the necessity of care until it’s too late. This podcast is designed to create solutions, start conversations and bring awareness to the industry that will inevitably impact all Americans.
Star Bradbury: For a lot of
people, they get to a point in
their life at some time where
they say, this just isn't enough
anymore. What I thought I wanted
to do in my retirement, and they
have to reinvent themselves. The
people that age successfully
Kosta are willing to be honest
with themselves and reinvent
themselves and find something
new to bring themselves joy. And
for a lot of people, it's paying
it forward. It's finding some
way to give back.
Caroline Moore: Welcome to Now
or Never Long-Term Care Strategy
making. themselves. with Kosta
Yepifantsev a podcast for all
those seeking answers and
solutions in the long term care
space. This podcast is designed
to create resources, start
conversations and bring
awareness to the industry that
will inevitably impact all
Americans. Here's your host
Kosta Yepifantsev.
Kosta Yepifantsev: Hey, y'all,
it's Kosta. Today, I'm here with
my guest, Star Bradbury, aging
Life Care Specialist, founder of
senior living strategies, and
author of successfully
navigating your parents senior
years star over the past 25
years, you've helped 1000s of
families navigate Senior Living
and care. I want to start this
episode with a personal question
for you and the title of our
episode. What does aging
successfully mean to you?
Star Bradbury: Well, first of
all, thank you for having me on
your podcast. It's obviously a
topic I am passionate about, and
wrote an entire book about. So
it was a little confronting when
I had to sort of stop and say,
Well, what does it mean to me,
personally, but I don't I'm no
different than anybody else. I
mean, I want to reassure your
your viewers that I follow my
own advice. And I think that's
important. So what do I think it
means to age successfully, I
would have to sum it up by
saying, developing a plan, a
solid plan, but a plan that's
well thought out, that addresses
the challenges that you will
inevitably inevitably face as
you get older. But it has to be
flexible, and resilient. And as
simple as that sounds based on
my 24 years in senior living, it
is not as simple as it sounds,
and a lot of people fail to
really make a very strong plan
and look at what let's call it
the buckets are the pillars. I
have five pillars, we'll get to
that, that you can look at when
you're trying to assess whether
you have a good plan and if it's
flexible enough,
Kosta Yepifantsev: did you
decide to write this book from
personal experience? Was it a
was it just because you worked
in the industry for so long that
you saw
Star Bradbury: no, no, no, I
have so much personal experience
and and I sadly, although I you
can tell that I have a bit of a
sense of humor here. Of course,
sadly, I will say I learned just
as much about what not to do,
and what doesn't work from my
personal experience, in some
ways, even more than my
professional experience Kosta?
My parents divorced when I was
fairly young in my teens and
remarried. So I had a stepmom
and a stepdad, my father and
stepmom lived in New York City,
not exactly a friendly place to
age in, by the way. And my other
set of parents my mom and
stepdad lived in Fort Lauderdale
six, seven hours away from me.
And I watched them make
decisions and let's throw in my,
my husband's parents too. And I
was so I watched family members
and loved ones make decisions
that in some cases were
disastrous, really, truly sad
and did not have the outcome and
preventable and also some
mistakes I personally made.
Let's not leave me out of it.
Okay, you know, looking, looking
back, I look at some of the
things that I really could have
done, that would have made a
difference. For example, let me
just, you know, throw myself
out. Sure. I, in my in my
chapter on long distance
caregiving. I have a long list
of things that I wish I'd known
could have done myself since I
was so far away from my father.
And one of those would be get to
know the neighbors, get their
information, get their phone
numbers, have a list of the
support team that exists or
doesn't. Okay, for your loved
ones, your parents that might be
in another state. So I had a lot
of personal experience. I mean I
include a lot of those stories
in the book. And I'm sure people
go really could all of these
things happen to this author?
Oh, yes. And I could have
written a lot more I mean,
stepfather Baker Acted and the
Unite
Kosta Yepifantsev: I am I am
sure that people who are either
thinking very hard about this
topic or are in this topic,
which I know, reading your book,
once you're in crisis is kind of
too late. But I'm sure that
there's a lot of people that
read it and resonate with the
detailed approach that you take.
And we talk a little bit about,
obviously, the length of your
book, and how comprehensive it
is, you know, and I think that's
important. It matters.
Star Bradbury: So start, because
it's a long arc.
Kosta Yepifantsev: Yeah, right.
So start, one of my favorite
sayings in business and life is
if you can't measure it, you
can't manage it. What are a few
measurable ways we can gauge how
well we're planning for our life
after 65? and evaluate if we're
on the right track?
Star Bradbury: Also a great
question. And I think it really
helps to have something to
measure against. And I talk
about something that I refer to
when I sit down with families,
and my niche is helping people
to plan to age successfully. I
say, let's look at what I call
the five pillars of aging
successfully. And the first
question, the first pillar, the
first question is, where do you
want where literally, where do
you want to age for example, 90%
of people 65. And over, it's
probably even higher, say, Well,
I want to age in place. And what
I always say, making a statement
cluster, like I'm going to just
age in place, which means
staying in your home, that means
I'm going to just stay in my I
tell people, that is a
statement. That is not a plan.
There's a lot of planning that
needs to go into aging well and
successfully in your home. So
that's pillar number one. And
under that is sort of location,
location, location, the second
part of my book, are you going
to age in place? Are you
thinking about moving? And if
you are going to move? What
would what would a solid
criteria be that you've
checklists that would help you
evaluate whether the decision to
move was a met all that met all
the pluses for a Livable City
for seniors are closer to good
health care? Or closer to an
adult child? Whose is I'd like
to say willing, able and capable
of being on your support team?
Yes. Okay. Maybe they are? Maybe
they're not. So that's, that's a
big pillar. Where am I going to
age? And the criteria for that
has to be what's going to allow
me to have that support team I
need and to be as independent
for the longest possible time.
pillar number two is a little
quicker to explain. It's do I
have all the critical medical
documents in place that I need?
Now most people think, Oh, you
mean, like a living will? And
health care surrogate? Yes,
absolutely. And I don't think
you'll be surprised to know how
many people have not completed
advanced directives. But there's
a host of other documents and
things to think about under that
heading that pillar of medical.
The third pillar, Costa is
legal. No surprise there. Have
you done a will? Have you done a
trust? Have you appointed your
power of attorney? Are all of
your legal documents, and under
legal documents and legal
affairs? There's a long list of
things too, that you should look
at like insurance policies, or
long term care insurance
policies, or survivor benefits,
or a did your parents do any?
Were they veterans? Are there
benefits that you would know
nothing about? You should inform
yourself about all of those
kinds of information before a
crisis. The fourth one is really
important. And I know you've
done shows on this, how am I
going to pay for long term care?
Oh, yeah, how am I going to pay
for long term care if I need it,
whether it's home care, you are
in the business, you know, this
assisted living, skilled
nursing. And the fifth pillar is
and I think this is so critical.
How am I going to stay engaged
in life connected to my
community connected to my
family, so I not isolated and
lonely? What is my what I say is
what is your purpose and passion
that's going to keep you getting
up every day and engaged in
life? So those are my five
pillars and I could go on but I
thought if I better start, six
might be Too many,
Kosta Yepifantsev: well, you
know, star, we're going to talk
about your book successfully
navigating your parents senior
years quite a bit in this
episode. So please, it's totally
okay to spend as much time as we
need to. For anyone that hasn't
read it, it's broken into four
parts, develop a plan, location,
where when your parents need
more help, and a prepared exit
plan. Let's talk about that last
part, because I think so many
people are scared to address it.
What is a good exit plan?
Star Bradbury: Well, this is
always a hard topic to bring up.
Because as as you know, people
are afraid to talk about this on
every level, everything from I
don't know if I can talk to my
parents about if they've done a
living will. This is even
harder. Because now you're
talking about an exit plan.
You're facing death, you're
facing your own mortality,
you're facing the dying process.
And if we could check, as I like
to say, go check the box cost of
that said, I want to live to 98.
I want to be 100%. Strong
mentally and physically. And
then I'm going to check the box
that says I get to die in my
sleep peacefully, never wake up,
right? No problems, no issues,
no medical can tweet all check
that box. But that is not the
statistics. And for the number
of people, Costa who say, Well,
of course I want to die at home,
I want to be surrounded by my
family, I want this peaceful
space. I want to have the music
playing that I want. Or
somebody's singing or reading my
spiritual readings. But that is
not what happens. You know that
anyone in healthcare knows
there's a huge percent of people
that die in the hospital. So I
think one of the things to
really ask yourself, or ask your
loved ones is, what is a good
death? How would you plan for a
good death? We do all this
planning Costa. We plan when we
have babies, we plan our
marriages, we plan our
retirement. But we don't really
think about death as a time
where we could plan and the
planning has to be prior to the
event itself that has to do with
the decisions you make along the
way as your medical options,
your medical choices, do you
really want to do one more
surgery? Do you really want to
add one more chemo? round of
chemo? I'd like to tell people
that a good exit plan focuses on
quality of life first, and
treatment. Second,
Kosta Yepifantsev: can I ask you
kind of a controversial
question? I think it's important
because there are so many people
out there that are wrestling
with this issue. What if you're
one of those people in America
or even in the world that say, I
don't want to take care of my
parents when they get older? I
mean, what do you say to those
types of entities,
Star Bradbury: and I talk about
that in the book, I really,
really encourage people to
never, ever agree to a plan. You
know, you can't do you know,
your whatever the reason is,
whether it's time constraints,
financial constraints, emotional
abuse, as a child from parents,
you barely talk to or whatever
your situation is, I'd like to
tell people who are listening,
they can still be helpful. From
a distance, they need to set
their boundaries about what they
can do. And I tell people, their
own health, their own mental
health, or physical health does
not need to be put on the stake.
Because they're, you know, they
feel compelled to take care of
their parents if they absolutely
can't. However, having said
that, you know, I, I have worked
with so many families literally
1000s. And it's very sad to me
when I see a strange moment that
isn't healed before death. And I
say that partly because of the
aftermath. Meaning the adult
child's still living that never
repaired things on any level
whatsoever with their deceased
parent, and then they've missed
any opportunity. So I sort of I
know I'm hedging my bets here,
but there are situations where
somebody just cannot do that.
They cannot be the caregiver.
And I don't have any judgment
personally about that. When I
consult with families in that
situation. We'll find ways to
provide assist To help without
that direct hands on care, I
would also say try to heal on
some level, because you're the
one that will pay for it after
they're gone. That's my personal
experience. And my professional
observation.
Kosta Yepifantsev: That is great
advice. Now, when you're working
with families, especially in the
beginning, what's normally the
most overlooked or misunderstood
aspect of aging for your
clients?
Star Bradbury: I love love this
question. Well, I like to sort
of help people understand what
they might be facing by
describing in my book, sort of
the stages of retirement. And I
credit a friend for this because
I just love it. I talk about the
gogo years, the slow go years,
and the no go years. And one of
the biggest mistakes is that
adult children see their parents
after they've retired. And
they're like, oh, my gosh, I
don't even I can't even keep up
with them. They're traveling
hither and yon. They're all over
the place. They they're busier
than they were when they're
working. Oh, they're doing
great. And so they don't
anticipate that they're going to
transition at some point out of
the gogo years into the slow go
years or the no go years. And
nobody says that you can't go
straight from gogo to no go.
Right. So people will tell me,
Oh, my dad was golfing five
times last. Just last week. How
could you have gone downhill so
fast? That I just never saw it
coming? Well, I like to tell
people that are trying to
prepare themselves. It is not if
Costa, it is not if your parents
are going to need help. If
they're lucky enough to live
long enough. The really it's the
when When are your parents going
to need help? To what degree are
what what, how are you going to
be able to support them? And
that's one of the things that
people overlook. And the other
one that I just have to throw in
here is everyone underestimates
the cost of long term care.
They're so confused. You know
yourself. You've had the family
say, but I thought Medicare paid
for home care. I thought
Medicare paid for assisted
living, doesn't it papers? I
thought Medicare doesn't cover
skilled nursing and the answer
is no. No. and No. Yep. And they
don't know what it costs. So I
want to tell people who are
wondering, go look up Google or
whoever your search engine is
the Genworth cost of care
survey. Genworth is a big big
insurance company, they do this
national survey, that's
surveying the costs across the
United States, you can go to the
Genworth cost of care survey,
put in your zip code, and it
will show you the cost in your
area, which is drastically
different from state to state
can be for home care, home
health care, assisted living,
skilled nursing, you name it,
they're gonna give you the
median cost in your area. And
the best thing cost is they have
a calculator, that's, I always
tell people sit down, sit down
before you play with that
calculator, that projects future
costs. And you can go to 2050
2060 and see what you might be
paying as the adult child when
you are at, it will get your
attention. And
Kosta Yepifantsev: I think what
people don't recognize, is as
like, as labor prices go up. So
as people get paid, you know,
higher wages to work and fast
food if people get paid higher
wages to work and retail people
get higher wages to work in
manufacturing, and whatever it
might be. I mean, caregiving is
and that caregiving agencies,
they're not like a unicorn, you
know, they just always keep
their prices at, you know,
affordable rates. And yeah, at
some point, and I will say that
we are in a very precarious
position right now. Now, I'm not
I'm not gonna try not to go off
topic here. But we're in a very
precarious position right now.
Because we are, we have almost
priced ourselves out of reach
for a lot of Americans. If not,
if not most of Americans. And,
and that is a scary proposition
for a lot of families. Because
I'll tell you like in the next
six or seven years, we're going
to have more people that need
long term care may, even in the
next three years, to be totally
honest with you, the baby
boomers are crying well, and
they, the Silversea tell you,
you know, so the statistics
behind it. I've said this a
number of times on the show,
there's two things that you said
that I want to say I just want
to repeat number one, Medicare
doesn't pay for long term care.
So we just need to say that
because that's a mantra on our
show, or assisted assisted
living or nursing home stays
more than 100 days. So now that
we got that out of the way The
second thing is as individuals
between that were born between
the age started between the
years of 1946 and 1964, the baby
boomer generation is the second
largest population subset in the
United States. And it's only
behind Millennials by like a
couple million people. So it
might as well be the largest or
close are tied as, as the
largest when you turn 75,
between 75 and end of life, and
that can range for differently
for most people, but you have
about an 80% chance of needing
long term care. So it's an
inevitability. And the first
baby boomer that was born in
1946, turned 75, in 2021. So
we're in it, you know, and so I
think that people, yeah,
exactly. And people really need
to understand that if they're
not considering this planning,
this long term care planning,
that they are going to find
themselves. Like you said, my
dad was playing golf five days a
week, last week, and he had a
serious medical event. And now
he needs significant care.
Right. So
Star Bradbury: and that is, that
is so why I'm so I was so
compelled to write this book, to
really help people understand
the consequences of no plan,
then you start to lose. Now
you're making ill informed
uneducated decisions. Half the
people I've talked to don't even
understand the difference
between home care and home
health care, and who pays, I
address that in the book, they
don't understand assisted
living, or who would be accepted
or not accepted into assisted
living, and what kind of
licensing might be absolutely
critical to their parents future
or to not having to move their
parent again. And really,
honestly, I don't expect people
to know. But I do expect people
to accept that they can educate
themselves ahead of an
inevitable crisis and curveball
and be far more prepared to both
advise or jump in if needed, or
sit down and have these kinds of
conversations way, way ahead of
time. Rick, was much earlier
than you might think.
Kosta Yepifantsev: Do you think
there is a difference between
what we think we want and what
we actually want as we get
older? And what does that
differentiation usually look
like?
Star Bradbury: I do think
there's a difference. And I
don't know that you would be
aware of this unless you've been
in senior living for 25 years.
So in that timeframe, I've
watched, as I said, 1000s of
families make decisions, and
make plans or not make plans and
what those consequences are. But
if you ask me, What's the
difference between what people
think they want? And then what
they actually discover when
they're in that aging process? I
can't tell you Costa the number
of times I've had people say,
Well, after golfing for 10
years, I'm sick of it. And I
never thought I'd say that. I
thought when I retired, I would
was so excited about golfing, or
tennis or pickleball or
traveling or something that they
that they thought they'd never
that gave them so much joy
doesn't cut it anymore. And so
that's that's why pillar number
five is what is your passion,
what kind of legacy and for a
lot of people, they get to a
point in their life at some time
where they say, this just isn't
enough anymore. What I thought I
wanted to do in my retirement,
and they have to reinvent
themselves. The people that age
successfully Kosta are willing
to be honest with themselves and
reinvent themselves and find
something new to bring
themselves joy. And for a lot of
people, it's paying it forward.
It's finding some way to give
back. It's volunteering
somewhere in your community.
It's making a difference. Maybe
it's to children going to school
and reading to children or maybe
it's the homeless or maybe it's
your place of worship some
organization within your church
or synagogue or your mosque or
maybe it's but it's it's
reassessing your values in this
post retirement phase. Does that
make
Kosta Yepifantsev: does and I'll
tell you what's interesting when
you say legacy? I think it's
more about legacy and and
honestly than anything else in
terms of purpose in terms of
fulfillment. I think that we
have superpowers at every stage
in life. And and I don't mean
And I don't necessarily mean to
stereotype. You know, I know
that obviously, like you were
saying, before we started the
show, the largest demographic in
the United States at this time
are people that is growing is
our people between the ages of
90 and 100. So 90, and we've met
some 100 year year olds that
are, you know, still kick in,
and they're still in the gogo
phase. Right,
Star Bradbury: I have seen it,
and it's awe inspiring,
actually.
Kosta Yepifantsev: And so I, you
know, I think that, like, you
need to embrace what you bring
to society. And so a lot of
people when they look at
retirement, I am obviously a
little a little ways away from
retirement. So I'm not going to
feed into my bad habit of
telling people that are in
retirement, what retirement is
about. But I'm just saying in
terms of my perspective, I would
say that we are never done
giving back to society, and we
do our best work and live our
best lives, when we're giving
back. And when we are
essentially using our
superpower. And that's
essentially what you just
described. So
Star Bradbury: I really believe
that, and I've watched it. I've
watched it for many years, as I
worked in senior living. So I
worked in one of the top life
care communities in the country
for 18 years, I ran an assisted
living facility, I ran a memory
care facility. I had, I had the
opportunity to watch a lot of
families a lot of situations.
And I was keenly interested in
what is this factor? What are
the factors that go into aging
successfully? It's a willingness
to reinvent yourself, and and we
reconnect to your values and
live them
Kosta Yepifantsev: start
independence and maintaining
independence is one of the
greatest goals of everyday
success for anyone getting
older. What's your best advice
for someone seeking to maintain
that independence as they age?
Star Bradbury: Well, in my book,
I discussed two principles,
caster principles that you can
apply no matter what age you
are, but certainly as a baby
boomer, or certainly as you're
aging, and also a principle that
families can use to help loved
ones and their parents. And that
principle is how can I maintain
and prolong my independence for
the longest possible time, and
to use that principle, truly as
your as your foundation, and
your framework to making
decisions. And then principle
number two, is what I call just
in time Senior Planning, which
is, don't burden yourself with
trying to make a plan for 10
years, it's going to look very
different when you're 70, or 80,
or 90, but trying to plan for 10
years out is just a poor use of
your resources, whether they're
financial or emotional, right,
stick to a three to five year
window as you're planning. But
like with the Japanese, just in
time inventory control concept
that was very popularized. I
took that term from them, it
implies what's called continuous
improvement. So if I were to say
what the key things are to
maintaining independence, number
one, stay flexible. Number two,
be ruthlessly honest with
yourself and your partner or
your spouse. Number three, keep
applying principle number one,
what can I do to maintain and it
may not be staying in your home
Kosta? You may have said I am I
am aging in place. I'm never
leaving my home. I have a client
named Sharon who's 93. And she
said that I'm not leaving my
home. This is where I'm going to
stay. And then at 93 she
realized her home was taking up
too much time. It was taking up
too much money. She said I think
it's time for me to invest in
myself instead of maintaining my
own. I need more help. But I'm
not ready to move closer to
family. And she was brave enough
flexible enough ruthlessly
honest with herself. After
saying I will never leave my
home she moved into a full
service retirement community a
fabulous community that provided
the support she needed to
maintain her independence. No
more shopping all her meals
transportation provided 24 hour
security home care on site if
she needed it. Now this was
independent living. So you see
how applying that principle
could be used in so many
situations. So many different
situations. Like let's let's
take this situation. What if you
had a A mom or dad who had
dementia, and you knew it was
going to be progressive. And
they were getting worse. And
someone who said we have to
leave them at home, I don't want
to move them. And then you also
see that's not working. Maybe
mom is now wandering at 3am. Dad
is exhausted taken care of mom,
and you have to be flexible. You
have to be honest, you have to
step back and say, what
decisions can we make that will
maximize independence for the
caregiver dad, who's going to
end up in the hospital if he
keeps trying to take care of
mom? And how can we support mom
is her progression, her dementia
progresses? Well, again, if
you're maintaining independence
for those two people, Kosta it
might be time to consider memory
care facility that's going to
provide mom with that care, let
dad get some sleep at night, and
see as much as possible or live
nearby, or live in an
independent living in the same
community that offers memory
care to, so you have to be
flexible. You just can't get
through these challenges and
curveballs without it.
Kosta Yepifantsev: So here's the
million dollar question. Why do
we avoid the topic of ageing so
aggressively? And what can we do
to normalize getting old?
Star Bradbury: Well, you know, I
think it's a straight line. From
why do we avoid this topic. And
the straight line is to fear of
death, fear of dying fear of
getting, and some people have
said, it's not dying, I'm afraid
of its illness in capacity,
physical limitations, pain. So
it's really understandable when
you put it in that context.
Nobody wants to become infirm.
Nobody wants to lose their
independence. So I have great
compassion for anybody that's
experiencing that or feeling
that because it's real. There's,
you know, like I said, we're apt
to have some challenges along
the way. And because we don't
know, you know, we can't go get
our palms read, and nobody's
going to tell us, you know
exactly what's going to happen.
But you also need to be a
realistic optimist. That's the
term I describe myself, where
you're realistic about what
you're going to face. And try to
plan for some of those events so
that you have more choices, more
options for yourself. But I have
good news for you, though. We'll
wait. I want you to know
Kosta Yepifantsev: you have a
question? No, no, please go
ahead, finish. Okay.
Star Bradbury: My good news is
that there's a tremendous
movement in the aging industry
nationally today, to change how
we look at aging. I've been
getting an online newsletter
called ending ageism, together,
changing the narrative. And I
love it. There's all kinds of
ideas and workshops on there
called How to be an anti aging
social media influencer, or how
corporations and businesses can
change how they portray older
people and change this negative
attitude towards ageism. And
there's a wonderful book I want
to mention that I read that I
wrote about on my blog, and it's
Dr. Rebecca Levy. And her book
is called breaking the age code
ditch. Have you read haven't
read it before? That's
wonderful. Oh, I want to
encourage you to read it because
she says that, quote, the data
about how your beliefs about
aging determine how long and how
well you will live. Many of the
health problems formerly
considered to be entirely due to
aging, such as memory loss,
hearing decline, and even
cardiovascular events are
instead influenced by negative
age beliefs that dominate the
United States. And the data in
countries where wisdom is
celebrated and Rivard would then
the data is quite different. So
it's powerful, how you feel
about yourself as you age, what
our culture tells us about older
people is a powerful, powerful
influence.
Kosta Yepifantsev: I think a lot
of people don't realize, and you
said how important it is to be
optimistic. And we've obviously
touched on at length, how
important it is to be prepared.
What a lot of people don't
realize is and I just heard this
statistic the other day, so
maybe rather shocking, I'm sure
you know it but they're the one
of the very sad points of aging
and people over the age of 65 is
the suicide rate within that
population subset. It is a very
it's scary to To the degree that
people have sort of said, I
don't want this, I don't want to
become a burden. And we've
pushed, right. And we've pushed
this narrative as a society,
like our parents are becoming
our burdens. And it is, you
know, it's obviously people that
are in their younger years and
people in their older years. And
when I say younger, I mean under
the age of 35, but that are
having these suicidal situations
occur. And I feel like like you
said, it's because we've created
this narrative that's putting
people in an untenable position,
and they have nowhere to go. And
so we need to, we need to take
that box that we've put them in
and in, literally take all the
walls off and take it away and
give people the dignity that
they deserve and give it back to
them.
Star Bradbury: Well, that goes
back to pillar number five, how
can I stay engaged and connected
in my community, and what is my
purpose and passions, because
when people think about killing
themselves, they have lost that
they don't feel connected. And
COVID taught us how deadly truly
deadly isolation, and
loneliness, and those percent of
people who are feeling even
young people, which makes me so
sad, isolated and lonely,
they're not connected. And so
what I when I sit down with
families, I will say, Now, keep
in mind, as you're making this
plan to age successfully, and
trying to maintain your
independence, for the longest
possible time, if you know that
staying socially connected, is
critical to your physical and
mental health. Do you think it's
a good idea to stay in your home
20 miles out of town, living all
by yourself, no matter how
gorgeous your home is, no matter
how beautiful it is, if you're
alone, and I just helped a
gentleman figure out that he was
depressed and lonely, his his
wife had died eight years ago,
he had a beautiful home. But he
recognized that he was not going
to be able to stay there and be
healthy and independent. And he
moved to a community that
provided friends and activities
is Life is a compromised caster.
I don't tell people, they're not
going to miss their home. But
that home can be a prison. And I
have seen that when I had to go
in and do assessments for people
moving into assisted living,
lonely people in beautiful
homes, disconnected from family
and community. It's more
important, a community can add
contribute more to your health
than then even doctors can at
times,
Kosta Yepifantsev: we always
like to end the show with a call
to action. If you had to start
the process of Senior Planning
for a parent today. What would
you do first?
Star Bradbury: Well, I know this
sounds really self serving. But
the first thing I would say is
go buy my book and read the book
as a guide. Don't if you think
oh, I don't need this for 10
years. Don't wait. And if you're
a senior, yourself listening,
I've had lots of people say you
know what, I'm buying one for
myself. And I'm buying books for
my kids. And then we're going to
plan a zoom call. Because as I
like to say these conversations,
the one thing I would say, have
to start early. That's the one
thing I would say, don't wait.
So people say well, what's the
perfect time when your parents
are in their 60s, long before
they even retired? And the
beauty about that is it gives
people an opportunity to do a
lot of listening. A lot of soft
questions. You're not saying
have you done a will? Have you
done living? Well? What about
this good death thing? You're
not starting there? Costa? You
were like years before any of
those conversations potentially.
Ideally, you're saying things
like, Hey, I wonder are you
going to stay in Cookeville when
you retire? Are you thinking
about moving to Florida? Closer
to in your your sister, your
brother? What are you thinking
about doing? Oh, you want to
stay and age in place? You know,
I'm a little worried about that
mom, because all the bedrooms
and bathrooms are up two flights
of stairs, and there's no
bedroom or bathroom on the
bottom floor? It could maybe we
could remodel that, you know or
build a mother in law suite? Or
what about a tiny house option.
You know, there's all kinds of
ways to have fun talking about
things long before there's a
crisis. Because guess what Kosta
people are not more willing as
they get older to have these
conversations. The time to have
them are when there's zero
crisis, zero diagnoses, zero
emergencies lots of time like
why imaginary family dispensers
that go through weaved through
the whole book about how they
deal with making a plan and
unexpected curveballs. So yeah,
start the conversation early.
Caroline Moore: Thank you for
joining us on this episode of
Now or Never Long-Term Care
Strategy with Kosta
Yepifantsev.If you enjoyed
listening and you wanna hear
more make sure you subscribe on
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Long-Term Care Strategy is a
Kosta Yepifantsev
production.Today’s episode was
written and produced by Morgan
Franklin. Want to find out more
about Kosta? Visit us at
kostayepifantsev.com