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Toni and Hettie open Season 3 with Loni Simmons, widowed since 2013, who talks about GriefShare, healing that comes gradually, and choosing to live fully. Together they discuss support after loss, practical planning, and finding joy again.
Finding life after loss, Two Dancing Widows dives into the stories of resilience, hope, and transformation. Hosts Toni and Hettie welcome new guests each week, from widowers and life coaches to those battling severe illness, who share their journeys through struggle and their paths back to joy. This podcast is for anyone navigating grief or simply looking for inspiration to live and love deeply again. Tune in for heartfelt conversations that remind us all that healing, while challenging, is a dance worth stepping into.
Alicia: This week on Two Dancing Widows…
Lonnie Simmons: I, I can't tell you a date or a time or anything.
Hettie: Uh-huh.
Lonnie Simmons: I think that it's, it's something that just happens gradually.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: And then all of a sudden you go from crying every day and not being able to get off the sofa-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... to being able to at least get off the sofa and take a bath or take a shower-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... and get something to eat. Now, my family, my immediate family, uh, my daughter and her husband, made sure that I had food, because they would cook and bring food over.
Hettie: Uh.
Lonnie Simmons: But I didn't want, I didn't want to be around people for at least, hmm, I don't know, maybe a month or so.
Alicia: Welcome to Two Dancing Widows, the podcast where hosts Toni and Hettie explore life after loss and the strength we find in each other's stories.
We open our third season with guest Lonnie Simmons, who has been widowed since 2013 after 54 years of marriage, and who has spent years supporting others through a GriefShare group at her church. Toni, Hettie and Lonnie talk about the resources available after losing a loved one, what it feels like to step into a support group, and why every one of us grieves differently.
Lonnie shares how the move toward the other side of grief came for her: gradually, with no date on the calendar. She offers practical wisdom about caring for your own health, making sure someone you trust knows the important details, and choosing to live each day to the fullest. It is a conversation about sadness that still visits, joy that returns, and the gift of life.
If this podcast speaks to you, we invite you to stay connected. Visit us at twodancingwidows.transistor.fm, where you can find links to our Facebook community and more ways to be part of the conversation.
And now… here's Toni and Hettie to begin this week's episode.
Hettie: Good morning. Good morning. It is a fine morning today. Rainy, my favorite season, fall. And guess what? The Two Dancing Ladies, well, we call ourselves the Dancing Widows, but we're s- thinking about switching that because now we're trying to get out there a little bit. But we are actually still the Two Dancing Widows, and we are back from a summer vacay. And we have lots to talk about. We have new shows coming up this season. We will beginning, we will be beginning with our guest, Mrs. Lonnie Simmons. And today she will talk to us about what to do after you've lost a loved one, and the resources that are available to you, getting access to them, how you will feel about it, and what happens in those type of settings. But that's today's recording. We also, in the future, will be talking about dating, seniors dating. We also have a little surprise for you. I know, and I believe, just as Toni does, that everyone has at least one book inside of them, everyone has a story, and that everyone's story should be told. And if not to the general public, then at least to your family. So we will be bringing in someone who will talk to all of us about making a book or writing a book, how to get it edited, how to get it published, and perhaps it will be published and, and sold on Amazon, or you can just get the number of books that you would like. So anyway, I'm Hettie Collins. I'm here with my co-host, Toni Noel. Toni?
Toni: Hi, everyone, and welcome back. We're so excited to start this, our third season. I am just really proud about that. It's been a labor of love and a labor of, uh, I don't, hardship sometimes. Sometimes, uh, the episodes just leave us so lifted, but sometimes, to be honest with you, I've had to actually go to bed after working on Two Dancing Widows because sometimes the sadness is very real, and it, it just gets to you. And but the thing about it is, and the reason we are so excited about doing this podcast, is we want people to know that it's okay to get knocked down. It's okay. Happens to the best of us. But what we wanna talk to you about is how to get back up even when you don't have bootstraps to pull yourself up with. So we're gonna have some episodes about that too. One thing I wanna disagree with Hettie, and you know, you know we're really back, um-
Hettie: Yeah, 'cause we always disagree, right?
Toni: It is, it is not fall. We do not like rain. And we are in summer until September 21st.
Hettie: You're right.
Toni: And the first day of fall is actually my birthday, so I will not be cheated out of that. We're still having summer fun, Ms. Collins.
Hettie: Well, well, thank you for the, uh, edit to my conversation.
Toni: That's right.
Hettie: Yeah.
Toni: They're doing an edit. Uh, and Lonnie, I am just so happy to have you here to start this season because I think when people think of widows or, you know, widowhood, or someone says, "I'm a widow," people think of it as being very current and, you know, like it just happened, and maybe your spouse has only been dead six months, six weeks, whatever. And I think as time goes on, people tend to not... They think something has changed and we're over it-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Toni: ... if you will. And, uh, I just, it's good to talk about that. So people who have been widowed a long time, for me, eight and a half years. How about for you?
Lonnie Simmons: For, for me, since 2013.
Toni: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: My husband passed away in 2013.
Toni: Yes.
Hettie: Like 30 years.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes.
Toni: Yeah. Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes.
Toni: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah.
Toni: And Jimmy was 2018, so yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah.
Toni: It's, uh... And so people tend to forget, and that there's still something going on with us-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Toni: ... and something that, uh, causes us some ups and downs, so I'm glad to start the season with you.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, it's good to be here. Uh-
Hettie: Well, I'm glad to start the season with you too, Lonnie, uh, just because you have managed to get to the other side of grief, and that's what we also wanna talk about. Because we want to always remind our listeners that there is another side that you can get to, where you still have something, you've lost somebody that's very important to you, but there's a side called happiness too, and that's the other side. Welcome to our podcast.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, thank you. It's good to be here. And you're right, Hettie, it, there is a, a point, you don't ever forget your loved one, especially me, in my case, my husband and I had been married for 54 years, and-
Toni: Wow
Lonnie Simmons: ... we kinda grew up together. I had known him since I was 13 years old. So I, I won't ever forget him, but I, e- excuse me. You think of the happy moments, and you try to, I'll try to focus on the happy moments and the life we built together, the children, our legacy, and all of that. So that, that brings me joy. But there are times, even now, when sadness will creep in. In fact, September 7th is his birthday, or was his birthday.
Toni: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: On that day, it, it, remembrances creep in, and sometimes you're a little sad, but you d- I, I don't stay there.
Toni: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: I, I look at the blessings that I have, the children, the grandchildren, and the friends and, and extended family. All of those are support groups, and we need to utilize those.
Hettie: That's perfect. Can you tell us a little bit about, I guess you would call it- That's all.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm.
Hettie: I think, I, you know, getting to the other side, what was the first step that you took after the loss of your husband Lacy, and when you decided that, you know, you needed to talk to someone about your loss? How did that start?
Lonnie Simmons: Well, I, I feel fortunate in that at my church there's a group that started, um, an organization called Grief Share, and it provides instructions and s- and tips, and it provides information for you so that to help you cope. In fact, they're, they're called coping skills. So that when you face different situations, you have some idea as to how to approach them and, and how to get through them. And the group was called griefshare.org, and it's an or- it's an organization that's nationally lo- known. And, uh, we had... It's, it consists of a 13-week course, uh, and we have two sessions a year. A 13-week se- yeah, and each session deal with phases of grief.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: During the holidays, how, how can you prepare yourself? Or, um, at least learn some coping skills, and don't feel that other people can tell you or show you how to grieve. Now, each of us grieve differently. Some people grieve, uh, you know, silently, and, um, don't reach out for help. But my suggestion is, and, and we believe that everyone needs to have some kind of support, just like Alcoholics Anonymous, and you have other support groups that... Well, Weight Watchers. I went to Weight Watchers years ago.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: And the, when you have other people to provide support, encouragement, and really help you through situations. Running groups, and all, all, all of those groups provide some level of support. Well, you need the same kind of support if you're grieving or going through a situation that's real.
Hettie: That's true. So what would, what would you say was the most valuable thing that you learned from that 13-week session?
Lonnie Simmons: Well, the, the group started in 2012, and I assisted in and still do assist in, uh, the discussions and attend almost every session. I can't, can't remember when I've l- uh, missed a session. Because our sessions are on, on Satur- Saturday morning, 10:00 to 12:00. In fact, we're starting a, a new session, 13-week session this Saturday on the 12th.
Hettie: Really?
Lonnie Simmons: And it's, it's done... We used to do it in person at the church, and people would come in, and we would have support groups in that way. During, uh, COVID, we started with, um, Zoom. So the sessions are held by Zoom. We have people from the, which means that you're not limited just to the local area.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: We've had people from California, from Florida, from Indiana, from the suburbs and so forth, who join in the group. Uh, they're sent a link, and they join in the discussion, and it consists of a workbook, a video, and then live discussion for, for two hours. So I had the opportunity to, to participate in those sessions prior to my husband's illness and death, so I had an advantage in that I had learned some coping skills.
Hettie: And you were familiar with the group-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... that wound up being-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... somewhat of a savior for you-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... or a resource for you, if nothing else. To turn to, you immediately knew where to go.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes.
Hettie: So I think that's a really good suggestion, that one of the places that people can begin is by looking at their church. What do you have in your own wheelhouse and all that?
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Right, right. And, and really, if you go on Grief Sha- uh, griefshare.org, the, wherever they... And it isn't necessarily in a church, but it is Bible-based. There are s- it'll tell you what's the closest Grief Share group to you, if you want to attend in person or if you want to attend, uh, virtually. Yeah.
Hettie: So you get the opportunity to meet other people that are grieving as well.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: You get a workbook that helps you to... I- Do- Does it ask questions about your grief, or what-
Lonnie Simmons: It, it has a daily, it, it, y- it, it has a daily guide where it will give you tips. It will, uh, have, also have scripture and have some thought-provoking questions.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: And there are certain periods in the book where you rate where you are in the various stages of grief, so that you can kind of measure your, uh, progress.
Hettie: So are most of the people that register newly widowed or, or had newly suffered loss, or do people, like, after a few... Like, could I register at eight years?
Lonnie Simmons: You could, you could register at any time.
Hettie: Okay.
Lonnie Simmons: During the, the, uh, in most, in most cases, though, it's people who've had lo- recent loss.
Hettie: Okay.
Lonnie Simmons: But for some people, that's too soon.
Hettie: Mm.
Lonnie Simmons: They might attend, and we, we suggest that you attend at least two sessions before you decide-
Hettie: Okay
Lonnie Simmons: ... whether you want to continue or not. Because for some people, the, it's too fresh, and-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... they're not really at a point where they can really bene- well, I think they could benefit it, from it, if they can tolerate- The discussion, uh, some people come on and they, they... You're not required to, to-
Hettie: Participate, okay
Lonnie Simmons: ... to participate. You can just listen-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... and observe. Um, some, some of us have been on for 10 years, five years and so forth, and people go off and they come back on. There's a core group of us who stay on, uh, or attend each session to provide support and-
Hettie: That's wonderful
Lonnie Simmons: ... suggestions to others.
Hettie: Okay, and it's very-
Lonnie Simmons: So it's not for my benefit, it's to, uh, help someone else.
Hettie: So it's very familiar, too. It provides some con- consistency because some people have had the experience of losing their loved one, and then not long after, they may lose someone else.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: So like in my husband's family-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... with COVID, five people lost, you know, within a year's time.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm.
Hettie: So somebody would be really, you know, being able to walk into this type of situation, do it on Zoom, doesn't matter where they are.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm.
Hettie: And also have a feeling of familiarity with the leaders of the group.
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Right. And, and that's, uh, the core group consists of six people. There are three instructors or people who lead the session. Then there's a person who does the calling to remind people and encourage people to attend, and to tell them, you know, what session we're going into. You're not re- another thing, you're not required to attend all of the sessions. You're encouraged to attend all of the sessions, but if you feel that you can't make a, a Saturday or Sa- have a conflict, it's okay because you have the materials already.
Hettie: Okay.
Lonnie Simmons: You have access to the video, and you have access to the workbook. So you, you'll know what the subject matter is-
Hettie: What the next step is in the process
Lonnie Simmons: ... and you'll know what the questions are.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: And if you have follow-up questions, you can ask them at the next session.
Hettie: Now, that's excellent. So do you ever have people that say, "I just..." You know, who stop and start, stop and start maybe a couple, two, two or three times? It just, it, they can't get through it all in one 13-week session.
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, yes, and in fact, most of the people who are on, very few attend all 13 sessions.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: They, they might miss a session here or there, but they can also sign up for another for the next 13. Like, some of the people at the spring session, they'll, they might have missed some, some of the-
Hettie: Okay
Lonnie Simmons: ... Saturdays. Uh, they will sign up for the fall session, and the fall session. And another thing that happens in, during that, the session, there's one specific, um, session that's devoted to coping with the holidays, or surviving. It's called Surviving the Holidays, which gives you some coping skills that, you know, and how you might want to change or you might want, continue to do the same traditions that you did before.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: And that you should have the freedom to do that. If you want to attend or don't want to attend the family, what, gatherings and stuff, give yourself some grace so that you won't feel that you have to continue to do the things that you did before.
Hettie: So, so when we say holidays, uh, you know, we typically think of our own holidays that we, uh, that we celebrate here in the United States. But it's also very possible that people are from another place, uh, you know, or of another religion. Suppose they're of the Hindi religion or something like that. What would, uh, you know, how does that happen? Or how does that, how do you react to that? What happens if people celebrate different holidays? So these skills don't have to be practiced in a Christian home. They could be practiced in any home.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: Is that right?
Lonnie Simmons: Right, right.
Hettie: No matter what the religion is.
Lonnie Simmons: You... The, the, the advice is the same regardless of what the faith is. The, you know, as to how you cope with, um, holidays and holiday traditions. I know that some, uh, you know, religious groups celebrate differently and, and have a more extended hours, and generally one day, two day, you know, Thanksgiving, Christmas-
Hettie: Right
Lonnie Simmons: ... and New Year's and, and... But some have extended holidays. But the advice is good for whatever the faith.
Hettie: Right. And so someone of a different faith or religion or background would not have to fear that there would be something said that would, you know, uh, probably maybe reflect poorly on their religion, or they would feel bad about any of that. People, you're in a room of understanding, and while these people are Christian, they have the respect for, you know, whatever other religion or practice that you may have.
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Uh, you, you really don't have to confess or, or share your faith-
Hettie: Right
Lonnie Simmons: ... y- because that's not our role. Our, our role is to provide support, provide advice, providing guidance, and all of this, this is not professional-
Hettie: Mm
Lonnie Simmons: ... support or advice. This is just people who are experiencing life, and how I got through my grief-
Hettie: Right
Lonnie Simmons: ... and what worked for me might not work for you. But it's just a suggestion.
Hettie: So this is real life stuff. This is not some, uh, group that has studied in school or, uh-
Lonnie Simmons: No
Hettie: ... whatever-
Lonnie Simmons: No
Hettie: ... and they're gonna then tell you what the book says. This is based on real life experiences. And so it, you're in a group of people, like-minded people, from the respect of everybody has a shared loss. And in some ways, maybe a shared grief
Lonnie Simmons: Right, and that, that one of the important things, I think, that we stress, we, we suggest to people don't share things that might be very sensitive or that, that would put you in a position of perhaps someone committing forgery or fraud.
Hettie: Oh.
Lonnie Simmons: And that whatever you share in the group stays within the group. It sh- it will not be discussed, or the, the promise is that it will not be discussed outside of the people within the group. There are people within the group who will form friendships and will-
Hettie: Oh
Lonnie Simmons: ... you know, and there are people-
Hettie: That's my next question
Lonnie Simmons: ... who come, come back.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: But one of the things that, that's recommended is that you don't, i- there are both male and female in the group, that you don't establish a relationship. The suggestion is-
Hettie: Yes. I like that.
Lonnie Simmons: Of course, you don't have any control-
Hettie: This is called for the suggestion, right
Lonnie Simmons: ... you don't have, you don't have control over people's behavior.
Hettie: No.
Lonnie Simmons: They're adults, but the suggestion is that you don't form any kind of, um, relationship-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... with, with people within the group.
Hettie: Yeah. It's like anything else.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm.
Hettie: Like, we always form relationships with people that are going through the same thing at the same time, and it may not be something that will be a lifelong commitment or friendship, and especially if you're looking at a situation where there may be love and sex, sex involved-
Lonnie Simmons: Right, right
Hettie: ... and other personal type of things.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: Because I remember, like, being pregnant, and there were a whole group of us that were pregnant at the same time. We were all friends. We were sharing ideas. Even the first year that the kids were, uh, you know, that we were mothers-
Lonnie Simmons: Mm. Right
Hettie: ... new, new mothers, we would pass around a bag of clothes, a lot of them knew, that the kids didn't get a chance to wear or had outgrown, and people would take from the bag and put things in the bag. And that went on for a few years, and it was a really good group. And I guess as time went on, you know, the group dissolved itself as our children grew. Their interests-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... were different, and people went on. I mean, the employee group when you, where you work.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Toni: That's right.
Hettie: When you leave that group sometimes-
Lonnie Simmons: Yes
Hettie: ... the relationships don't continue.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: But they're not hurtful or harmful emotionally, whereas forming a relationship in a situation like this through shared grief, and then you become dependent and talk about this with each other.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm.
Hettie: Uh, uh, you know, when somebody decides, "Okay, enough of this. I'm, can get out of this," it may be very hurtful to the other person.
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Yeah.
Hettie: So you could be setting yourself up.
Lonnie Simmons: And we, we kind of feel that you might not get the full benefit of what the group is offering if you're, if you're focused on another individual within the group. You might not focus on what, what the message is for that day, you know? Or it, it could create all kinds of situations. You're already dealing with-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... grief.
Toni: Heavy.
Hettie: Very raw emotions.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Toni: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: And, uh, and you're vulnerable.
Hettie: Right. Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: So that, that's, and you're in-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... in your most vulnerable state, and you don't want to add insult to injury by virtue adding another relationship on top of the one that you're trying to deal with. It w- when you're dealing with grief, and I can only speak for myself, you're trying to fi- figure out and find out who you are as a person.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: And I'm not Mrs.-
Hettie: And as an individual
Lonnie Simmons: ... right. I, I'm not Mrs. Something or-
Hettie: Or Mr.
Lonnie Simmons: I'm me. What, what do I like?
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: I don't, I, I have to consider what my partner and I liked and-
Hettie: Before
Lonnie Simmons: ... that we shared a life together. We shared a... But now I've gotta figure out, out of all of that stuff that we did, what did I really enjoy? Because I went to some things and did some things that I probably would not have done if I were choosing.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: But now I, it's my choice.
Hettie: Exactly.
Lonnie Simmons: I decide.
Hettie: And you form your own relationships.
Lonnie Simmons: Right, yes.
Hettie: Now have you retained relationships with people that you were couple friends with?
Lonnie Simmons: I don't, I, then most of them are, have gone on to glory by now.
Hettie: Wow.
Lonnie Simmons: I di- I think I've outlived, I've outlived my husband, and I've outlived most of the friends. There's one person who I remember who we still talk occasionally, but i- her husband is gone also, so.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: You know?
Hettie: It's just one of those things.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah. It, it seems like the, the people who are still around, uh, when we were-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... a couple.
Hettie: In your heyday.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah. Well, we, in fact, we, we belonged to clubs, and w- there were groups and, you know-
Hettie: Dancing and-
Lonnie Simmons: And, and we traveled together.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: We did a lot of stuff together, so.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Those, those people are no longer a part of my life because they are no longer, most of them are no longer here.
Hettie: Right. They're probably not in as good of a physical shape as you are because-
Lonnie Simmons: Oh
Hettie: ... Carol, you and your dancing and your being-
Lonnie Simmons: I tell you
Hettie: ... I mean, you don't, you don't waste a moment not being involved in something that looks like it's gonna be fun. You just go out and do it.
Toni: And I think that's probably one of the hardest things that I had to deal with too, is that when you're active, when you still have that energy-
Lonnie Simmons: Vitality
Toni: ... and you want to do whatever, sometimes it's hard to find people in your age group that share that same energy or want to do things or-
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Right
Toni: ... you know, get out and-
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Right
Toni: ... yeah. So that's very difficult-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Toni: ... to find.
Lonnie Simmons: It is.
Toni: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: It is. So you, what I found that- I, I interact with the people who are there, like, on Saturday mornings when, the, but not that-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... they become friends or anything, but they're acquaintances-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... and people I talk with-
Hettie: Absolutely. Sure
Lonnie Simmons: ... you know, i- at the event.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: But we don't do anything else-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... together.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: So-
Hettie: But we said we talked about that just within ourselves, Hettie and I, how you have so many different groups of people in your life, and you're not girlfriends or, you know, like hang out-
Lonnie Simmons: Yes
Hettie: ... "This is my girl"-
Lonnie Simmons: Right, right
Hettie: ... with everyone.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah.
Hettie: But you do have a relationship-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... with those people, and you j- enjoy seeing them and meeting them-
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm
Hettie: ... and doing whatever you're doing together.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: But then that you kind of leave it there-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... in a lot of cases.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: I, I think I've shared with you before that my, my sisters are my kind of-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... my-
Hettie: Your best friends
Lonnie Simmons: ... my best friends.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: And, and we're, they're at the age, and I'm saying they're at the age. My youngest sister just celebrated her 80th birthday last Saturday, but they're, they're at the age where they can't hang like I can.
Hettie: Yes, yes.
Lonnie Simmons: They can't keep up with me.
Hettie: Miss Fancy Shoes.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes.
Hettie: Miss Fancy Girl.
Lonnie Simmons: And I'm not saying that bragging.
Hettie: No, but you are-
Lonnie Simmons: I'm saying that-
Hettie: ... fantastic. Nobody knows-
Lonnie Simmons: That's how I feel it
Hettie: ... nobody knew, you know, your, your age until you spoke of it.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes.
Hettie: I mean, we all thought we were in the same age range.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, yeah.
Hettie: And you got us by a few years.
Lonnie Simmons: But we, we did things together. We traveled together.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: We went on a cruise together. We, I always had friends who were-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... for fun when I, when I'm-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... with my, my biological sisters. And then there's another group who I used to... Well, this relationship formed through church because we worked together on different committees and stuff at church, but they were my ace boon coon.
Hettie: Yes, yes, yes.
Lonnie Simmons: And they've gone on to glory.
Hettie: Mm.
Lonnie Simmons: So right now, I, I have some people who I would say are acquaintances.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: But not the ace boon coon.
Hettie: Yes, absolutely.
Lonnie Simmons: You know what-
Hettie: Well, most of your grandkids-
Lonnie Simmons: Right, I kind of thought
Hettie: ... most of your grandkids that are your ace boon coon.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes.
Hettie: They're always showering you in love-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, yeah
Hettie: ... and jewelry and gifts.
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, yes.
Hettie: And they adore you-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah
Hettie: ... because you don't like to shop.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, see, that, yeah, that's true. That's true. I don't like to shop, so they help me out there. But they're, I don't want them to feel that they have to provide my, um, entertainment or-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... what have you. They invite me on trips, and I go on trips and stuff with them.
Hettie: I think they just think you're fun.
Lonnie Simmons: But they, they-
Hettie: You're that fun grandmother.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, I think I am kind of fun.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: I try not to be stodgy and-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... judgmental. And if they're dancing, I'm dancing too.
Hettie: Yes, yes.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes, yes. Um, I can't keep up with them, of course, but I do my own stuff.
Hettie: So tell us about the other side. Oh, b- before we move to the other side, I do want to ask, now, with your group, do you ever feel strongly that you need to recommend to someone that they see another outside group, like a professional, uh, counselor or someone like that?
Lonnie Simmons: That's part of the script, that, that if, if you feel that this, you need help, get professional help. This is no substitute for professional help.
Hettie: It's not a replacement.
Lonnie Simmons: It's not a replacement for it. In fact, uh, it's encouraged that perhaps, excuse me, for people who are really having a difficult time, the, the group leader will have an offline conversation with them and provide-
Hettie: See, that's very good
Lonnie Simmons: ... and provide, uh, suggestions of who m- or people who-
Hettie: Where they can get help.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, right.
Hettie: That's excellent. How many people on average are in the groups?
Lonnie Simmons: We start out usually with 20, 25-
Hettie: Okay
Lonnie Simmons: ... which is too big. You really, uh, an ideal group would probably be no more than 10 to 12.
Hettie: Okay.
Lonnie Simmons: Because you want to allow it to have time within that two-hour period-
Hettie: To really talk
Lonnie Simmons: ... to really talk.
Hettie: Yes.
Lonnie Simmons: And some people talk, talk, talk.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Which means that the, um, you have to, the leaders have to adjust-
Hettie: Absolutely
Lonnie Simmons: ... the script and, and, and what the presentation is. But it's a, it's a group that I think that is worthwhile, and I'm not plugging you, you know, this-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... griefshare.org, but it's worked for us, and it's worked in a lot of churches, even before we started, and we've been going since 2012.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: And have not missed a year where we-
Hettie: Wow, that's impressive.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah. Even, even during COVID.
Hettie: That's very impressive.
Lonnie Simmons: We've had two-
Hettie: A lot of people to help, too. That's-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, that, that's true
Hettie: ... that's a lot to do and it's helpful.
Lonnie Simmons: That's true. But you know, the strange thing, very few people attend the, from our church attend the sessions. They're mostly from the community-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... and from, um, you know, referrals of people who have relatives or who've been in the sessions. They will recommend it to other, other people.
Hettie: Yeah, I could understand that, though, because sometimes, I mean, while you're willing to share, you may not want to do it in a group that you are gonna see on a regular basis-
Lonnie Simmons: Yes
Hettie: ... because you don't know who they're sharing with.
Lonnie Simmons: Absolutely.
Hettie: And it feels, it doesn't feel private enough-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... if you do it like that.
Lonnie Simmons: That is- I could understand that ... you feel comfortable-
Hettie: Of course
Lonnie Simmons: ... with your ex, right. And I think that-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... that makes sense because if every Sunday I have to see you in church-
Hettie: Mm-hmm, yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... and there are certain-
Hettie: You know some of my-
Lonnie Simmons: Yes
Hettie: ... deepest, darkest secrets.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes, yes. Yes. You know, that, that might be uncomfortable-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... for, for the person. But you, they can find other groups that they can-
Hettie: Right
Lonnie Simmons: ... they can participate in
Hettie: So what does it feel like ... When did you know that you were kinda on the other side of your grief? You know, like you just shared with us that even now, sometimes it's like on, on Lacy's birthday in particular, you have a difficult time. But when did you just, did you ever just wake up one day and feel, like, renewed in some way, or feel like you were kinda to the other side, or was it a slow transition? What happened there, do you think?
Lonnie Simmons: I, I can't tell you a date or a time or anything.
Hettie: Uh-huh.
Lonnie Simmons: I think that it's, it's something that just happens gradually.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: And then all of a sudden you go from crying every day and not being able to get off the sofa-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... to being able to at least get off the sofa and take a bath or take a shower-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... and get something to eat. Now, my family, my immediate family, uh, my daughter and her husband, made sure that I had food, because they would cook and bring food over.
Hettie: Uh.
Lonnie Simmons: But I didn't want, I didn't want to be around people for at least, hmm, I don't know, maybe a month or so. Because I, I think part of what, what happened to me, and that's all I can say, I was sleep deprived and didn't realize that I was sleep deprived.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: I was exhausted and didn't realize that I was exhausted. I didn't even have time to think about it.
Hettie: You were doing what you had to do.
Lonnie Simmons: That's right, and that's, I think that for people, the survivors go through a stage also of being y- you need to, first thing you need to do, and what's recommended, see a doctor so that you can determine whether or not you need something for the depression or whatever, or what your state of health is. Because oftentimes people neglect their own health while they're caring for someone who's ill.
Hettie: Yes, yes.
Lonnie Simmons: Now, my husband was ill for a very short time. He really, um, I think about two months, three months at the most-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... where he really was ill, and he kept pushing himself even during that two months-
Hettie: Sure
Lonnie Simmons: ... three-month period.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: And, uh, I didn't really expect him to die, put it simply.
Hettie: No, neither do.
Lonnie Simmons: I, I just knew-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... that whatever it was, that the medicine the doctor was giving him-
Hettie: He would get over it, yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... that he'd get over. Because neither one of us have had serious illness.
Hettie: Uh-huh.
Lonnie Simmons: And both of, both of us were pretty healthy and active.
Hettie: So when he did die, though, did you feel like it was a life stolen from you, or was there sort of-
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, no
Hettie: ... a feeling of desertion or-
Lonnie Simmons: Well, and I tried to look at, and I still do try to look at the positive things in my life as opposed to what I don't have. Excuse me. Look at what I do have. And we, we had been married for 54 years. We had two daughters and two wonderful granddaughters that we still, that I, uh, that we both a- adore. And it, it took a while to adjust to not ha- having him there. Nighttime was the worst time ever. You know, I could get through the day because you could keep busy during the day doing something, but nighttime was the worst, and so I'd, I'd hate to go to bed.
Hettie: Oh, would you walk the floors? What did you do?
Lonnie Simmons: No, I went to bed. I f-
Hettie: But you didn't sleep well.
Lonnie Simmons: I think I did. I think I did, because I forced myself to go to bed, and I think if you ... And my, my theory is if you lie there and keep your eyes closed, you know-
Hettie: Oh, yeah. That's what we were told as kids and-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah
Hettie: ... especially my grandmother. "Just, just stay still and keep your eyes closed." Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, that's what, that's what I used to do-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... with my grandchildren. They didn't want to take naps.
Hettie: No.
Lonnie Simmons: So I'd say, "Okay, let's lie down-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... close our eyes-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... and let's not talk. And y- you will go to sleep."
Hettie: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: And, and they did, so that, that was the instructions I gave myself to do.
Hettie: Okay.
Lonnie Simmons: Lie down, close your eyes.
Hettie: I would stay up to 2:00, 3:00 in the morning reading or watching-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah
Hettie: ... uh, TV, and then I'd hear something go boom, and it was often my iPad that had probably gone off.
Lonnie Simmons: The alarm going, then you'd close down again.
Hettie: Yeah. And then I would go to sleep.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah.
Hettie: Did you have your glasses on?
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, everything.
Hettie: Everything.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah. Uh, yeah.
Hettie: Oh, man, I tell you. But so-
Lonnie Simmons: Mm
Hettie: ... on the other side, let's get there. You are now a widow for 13 years after spending 54 years of marriage, but still knowing this person intimately and him knowing you intimately from the time that you were 13 years old. You are basically on your own making all your own decisions, decisions that maybe he used to make for both of you. How tough was that for you?
Lonnie Simmons: You know, I was never the, the wife that let the husband make all the decisions or took care of all. I was very much involved in every-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... thing, as- every aspect of business, every house we purchased, every business he ... Uh, because I, I worked also. I was a manager.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: So that was not something that I had to be concerned about, because I, I was the one who took care of all that stuff.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: So I didn't have that problem to deal with.
Hettie: Right, right.
Lonnie Simmons: Plus, I had assistance from my daughter, who's a CPA, so anything that's-
Hettie: Oh, that's wonderful, yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: And that's-
Hettie: That is, right
Lonnie Simmons: ... in fact, she took over and t- took care of all of the things that you had to take care of-
Hettie: Uh-huh
Lonnie Simmons: ... with the attorneys and that sort of thing. But I wasn't ever the kind of wife who would just hands off and didn't know, you know, anything about.
Hettie: So there was no handover-
Lonnie Simmons: There-
Hettie: ... of information if-
Lonnie Simmons: No, no
Hettie: ... Yeah, because, um, that, that one woman that, that wrote a book, and I can't remember her name, but she wrote this book called GYST. Get your shit together
Lonnie Simmons: Oh.
Hettie: Yeah. Get your-
Lonnie Simmons: That's good advice
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... sure.
Hettie: Because when her husband... Well, they were really young though. Her husband was killed. They lived in New York City.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm.
Hettie: And he biked to work every day, and he was, you know, worked in a financial district. He was a financier, and he was killed in an accident I think where a bus hit the bike.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm.
Hettie: Well, she didn't even know passwords. She didn't know information on bank accounts. She didn't know, and it took her years to really get all the pieces put together and go, "Oh, there was this, there was that," you know? And, uh, and so then she wrote that book and would talk, went on the circuit of talking about it, how important it is to have things set up before something catastrophic happens just so that you do at least have an idea. Have you done that even for your kids?
Lonnie Simmons: Well, oh, well, I mean, uh, well, certain- they, they know everything, we, especially my-
Hettie: Passwords and all
Lonnie Simmons: ... to my older daughter. They know everything about everything, and they d- they track me. They know where I am. They probably know that-
Hettie: The iPhone 360
Lonnie Simmons: ... they, they probably know that I'm sitting here in Chicago.
Hettie: Yep, absolutely. I'm tracked too, Ronnie, so I...
Lonnie Simmons: That's a good thing. I forbid my kids from doing that. I do not allow them to track me.
Hettie: Oh, no.
Lonnie Simmons: It's always been in life.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: No one person should know e- everything, the only, be the only person who knows about anything.
Hettie: I like that. That's good.
Lonnie Simmons: And that's, that's my theory. At, at church, at work, at West Shore-
Hettie: When you're at work
Lonnie Simmons: ... y- y- I didn't, when I went away on vacation, I didn't worry about whether or not things were, what the conditions were going to be at work-
Hettie: Mm
Lonnie Simmons: ... because there was a- at least two or three people who knew exactly-
Hettie: What you did
Lonnie Simmons: ... what I did-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... and what I would do-
Hettie: Yes
Lonnie Simmons: ... in cer- certain circumstances.
Hettie: So you shared information and did training.
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's important, that no one person should know everything.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: Somebody else need to know.
Hettie: Those are very wise words.
Lonnie Simmons: So let's put, that's right.
Hettie: Very useful information too-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah. Yeah
Hettie: ... because, and sometimes I think people confuse privacy... Well, they think it's private when it's really a se- secrecy, which I think is different because secrecy, you know, is something that you would not share, would not want to share. But privacy just, you know, is like an outer thing, but secrecy from your children or those people who could possibly become your caretakers, say you don't have children, uh, it doesn't get you anywhere because you, you know, people think sometimes that incidents happen like between you and, and Lacey where-
Lonnie Simmons: Mm
Hettie: ... w- or me and Jimmy where it wasn't a long illness and then they died even though we didn't expect them to.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm.
Hettie: But sometimes people linger a long time in a state of stroke or dementia.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: And everything is locked.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: Right?
Lonnie Simmons: They can't share.
Hettie: And everything, her son didn't even know where's to the computer, didn't know where bank accounts were.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm.
Hettie: Every... I don't know if you ever figured all that stuff out, but all kinds of things, and, and, and, and even if you write it down, if people don't know where to look.
Lonnie Simmons: No, that's right.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: That's right.
Hettie: Right.
Lonnie Simmons: You, they, you need to have at least one person that you trust.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: At least one.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Now, I, I don't know that some, some households, you know, there's a lack of trust period.
Hettie: Hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: But there need to be at least one person that you trust to know everything that they, that you know about at least your-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... your financial situation and-
Hettie: And you need to have your powers in place.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, you're right. Right, all of it.
Hettie: All of it.
Lonnie Simmons: Of course, Lacey and I had all of that done-
Hettie: I keep all those financial powers
Lonnie Simmons: ... done before g- long before.
Hettie: Your will and-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, all of that
Hettie: ... yeah, I, I find a lot of people, when I was doing, um, elder care, I had the privilege of working with seniors and doing elder care for about four or five years, and it was interesting because people always said, "Well, I don't have anything." And yet and still, they didn't consider, you know, like even maybe an older house or whatever, but all of these things have value attached to them, even sometimes just your wedding ring or, or, or your, you know, the place where you live, the, the food in your ca- the clothes that you have. Everything has a financial value.
Lonnie Simmons: Right. Right.
Hettie: And you need to determine how you want those things, uh, you know, disposed of or who you want them turned over-
Lonnie Simmons: What's gonna happen. Right, right
Hettie: ... to.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: And people, it was always surprising to me how much money seniors have. I mean, I was just shocked because-
Lonnie Simmons: That's where the, that's where the treasure's at
Hettie: ... that's where the gold mines are, and that's why all these people try to crack the code and, and pull these scams on the seniors.
Lonnie Simmons: That's right.
Hettie: Because they have lots of money.
Lonnie Simmons: That's right.
Hettie: Because for one, they just, you know, I realized people that even had lived, uh, meager lives were, they, but they had accumulated enough maybe to buy a house and, but they become afraid even of, of tradespeople that might fix things, so they may not get things fixed. And people think, "Oh, they're living in shambles," but it's not so much that. It's that they're afraid, and then they don't spend the money. People that I did work with that lived off of things like Social Security, I looked at their checks and go, "How does anybody live off of this amount?"
Lonnie Simmons: Mm.
Hettie: And even they had little caches of s- you know, like they might save-
Lonnie Simmons: Save things
Hettie: ... yeah, because maybe they got, you know, food stamps, and they lived in subsidized housing, and maybe they got $1,500 a month. Well, they may be saving $500, and, you know, in 10 years or so they have 50,000, $70,000 in the bank that they're afraid to touch, and that, you know, there's money-
Lonnie Simmons: Saving for a rainy day
Hettie: ... saving for a rainy day, and then they're, they have many rainy days and but they don't realize that they are.
Lonnie Simmons: Right.
Hettie: And so it's important to, to, to decide what you wanna do. It's just, just imp- important if you want to make decisions about, um, the disposal of your body or the, you know-
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, yeah
Hettie: ... if you want cremation-
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah
Hettie: ... if you want a funeral, to, you know, all of that stuff that you take off of someone else's plate ... allows them time to grieve-
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm
Hettie: ... truly grieve for you
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... because sometimes by the time you get through the business, you're so exhausted, you wonder, you know, it could be years later before you truly grieve the loss or the departure of someone that you love.
Lonnie Simmons: I think, Hettie, y- that's true, and I, I think that for me, the way in which I approach life is all of us are gonna die at some point in time. Nobody's going to li- live forever. How you live those days that God gives you, that's a choice that you make, and my choice is to live every single day that He gives me to the fullest. And I-
Hettie: That's why you're out there dancing, right?
Lonnie Simmons: Well, that- ... and the fact that I, I try to, I try to pass on, and I often say this, I give advice, but you don't have to take it.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: Mm-hmm. But it, it worked for me, and it possibly, some of what work for me might possibly work for you.
Hettie: Work for you.
Lonnie Simmons: And that's the way I approach it. Because so many people are sitting around who are causing more aging and more illness and more health issues because of their attitude-
Hettie: Mm-hmm
Lonnie Simmons: ... toward life. Life is a choice.
Hettie: It is. It is.
Lonnie Simmons: You choose, you choose how, how am I... Am I gonna be sad or am I gonna be happy?
Hettie: Am I even gonna get out of bed today?
Lonnie Simmons: That's the, th- those are choices.
Hettie: They're choices.
Lonnie Simmons: You know? And, and I choose the better part of life.
Hettie: Well.
Lonnie Simmons: Because it's a gift. It, I didn't, you know-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... give myself this thing.
Hettie: And it's a gift you, a gift you don't wanna waste. I mean-
Lonnie Simmons: Right
Hettie: ... when we think about our lives and we think about all that's poured into us as individuals, when we think about our parents and what they gave us-
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, yes
Hettie: ... oh, what, uh, what they wanted to give us and maybe couldn't give us.
Lonnie Simmons: The sacrifices. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Hettie: And then the sacrifices we have made for our children.
Lonnie Simmons: Right, right.
Hettie: We have all been poured into on some level, or most of us have anyway. I am always, again, just concerned to find that some people have not been poured into or invested into. It's somewhat shocking.
Lonnie Simmons: You have to be, you have to receive it, you know?
Hettie: You do. You do.
Lonnie Simmons: Some people get lots of information shared with them. Well, y- you could just take something as simple as an education, a school or, or something.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: Some people choose to grasp every single morsel that they can out of whatever situation they find themselves in. Others will discredit or discard it or won't even pay any attention to it. So everybody have an opportunity to participate in life, but everybody don't participate in life.
Hettie: That's true. So on the other side, and where your happiness lies, what are the things that make you the most happy these days?
Lonnie Simmons: My family.
Hettie: Mm-hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: I, uh, August has been one of the most wonderful months in that it'll go down in my history.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: And not just my history, but my family's history. Um, we started off with a big wedding. My, my nephew got married, so there was dress up and family. Family came in from all over the country.
Hettie: And you love to dress, even though you don't love to shop.
Lonnie Simmons: Oh, I love... That's right.
Hettie: Yes. But you always dress to the nines.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, for that I, I, my, my closet, my husband and I used to go lots of places.
Hettie: Yes. Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: So my clo- if, as long as I can get in to what's in there.
Hettie: To, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: And I can usually find something in there because I have three or four different sizes-
Hettie: Right
Lonnie Simmons: ... in, in the closet. But we started off with a big wedding down, and family came in, and we went to the Barbara Ann-
Hettie: Where was it?
Lonnie Simmons: At the History Museum of Noah, of Noah.
Hettie: Yes, yes.
Lonnie Simmons: Yes. And it was outdoors, and it was really wonderful.
Hettie: Oh, that is a beautiful place.
Lonnie Simmons: So then my, my oldest daughter had her birthday celebration the 22nd, the two weeks after that, on a Saturday. I'll let them-
Hettie: Was it a major birthday?
Lonnie Simmons: She was, she was 65. Uh-
Hettie: Your daughter?
Lonnie Simmons: No, it was November, November. You li- you've gotta hear this. She was six, she was 65 on November 29th last year.
Hettie: Okay.
Lonnie Simmons: She decided that she was gonna celebrate her birthday during the summer months, so she picked August. And she-
Hettie: My daughter did something like that too
Lonnie Simmons: She-
Hettie: They just jacked the birthday
Lonnie Simmons: ... she, I, I said, "You can celebrate it whenever you want-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... want to celebrate." So she had 170 people out at the... And we all dressed up, and oh, it was fabulous.
Hettie: Beautiful.
Lonnie Simmons: Then last Saturday, my, I told you, my younger sister's 85th bir- birthday, and, uh, that, that was, I think, the highlight when I look at her birthday. Out of all of the activities, hers, I think, was the most significant.
Hettie: Hmm.
Lonnie Simmons: Because she, she's, uh, suffering from memory problems.
Hettie: Yes, Alzheimer's disease.
Lonnie Simmons: And, and, um, they put the birthday celebration together in four days.
Hettie: Wow.
Lonnie Simmons: Because they don't know what her state is gonna be or if-
Hettie: Yeah
Lonnie Simmons: ... she was a, the, the, they had two sons, and they had 23 grandkids.
Hettie: Grandkids. Oh my goodness.
Lonnie Simmons: Yeah, children. Most, a lot of boys in there, and 12 great-grandchildren.
Hettie: Yeah.
Lonnie Simmons: And the room was full of just family.
Hettie: Wow.
Lonnie Simmons: And their, their ages from the oldest I think is 35 or something, and the youngest is a little six month old or something.
Hettie: That's fabulous.
Lonnie Simmons: So you worked that over generations. It is. My, my oldest sister, my other older sister, myself, and my younger sister-
Hettie: Wow
Lonnie Simmons: ... the four of us were together for three different occasions this month.
Hettie: In the month of August. That is fabulous.
Lonnie Simmons: And most, and a lot of family.
Hettie: Wow.
Lonnie Simmons: So it, and I'm on a high.
Hettie: Aw. Well, I think we can end this on your high. We are grateful to you, as usual, for being so flexible and coming in. And as you can see, we still struggle a little bit, not as much as we did before.
Lonnie Simmons: That's what she said.
Hettie: But we are so happy that you were able to make it today.
Lonnie Simmons: Well, I enjoyed chatting with you all. I really did.
Hettie: Oh, well, we enjoy chatting with you always.
Lonnie Simmons: Always.
Hettie: Always. Always. And any parting words to our audience? Words of wisdom.
Lonnie Simmons: Live, live, live life to the fullest. This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Hettie: Thank you.
Lonnie Simmons: Amen, and me too.
Hettie: Amen.