Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Simple strategies to think faster, stay authentic, and communicate with confidence. 

How do you stay genuine without sounding rehearsed? What helps when your thoughts are moving faster than your words? And how can you handle high-pressure moments with more ease?

Strong communication isn’t about having the right lines ready—it’s about being present enough to respond with clarity. In the moment, it’s easy to rush, overthink, or lose your structure. But with the right tools, you can slow down, connect, and communicate with intention.

In this Ask Matt Anything episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Matt Abrahams shares insights from a live session with the Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community. Through real audience questions, he outlines practical ways to manage nerves, adapt to different situations, and build communication habits that last.

Episode Reference Links:

Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:38) - Email Small Talk
  • (05:15) - Slowing Down Your Thinking
  • (07:25) - Controlling Speaking Pace
  • (09:32) - Authenticity vs. Adapting
  • (15:49) - Scripted Talks
  • (18:41) - Handling No Questions
  • (22:16) - Conclusion

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Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.

Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Matt Abrahams: Let's flip the script.

Instead of asking questions
today, I'm going to answer some.

I'm Matt Abrahams and I teach
Strategic Communication at Stanford

Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to this Quick Thinks, Ask
Matt Anything episode of Think

Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.

One of the many, many things I love
about our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning

Community is interacting with our members.

I do this through posts, comments and
discussions, along with our author

talks and AMAs, Ask Matt Anythings.

Today I'm sharing a portion of
our recent Learning Community AMA.

Listen in to learn about
authenticity, anxiety management,

and answering questions well.

And consider joining the Learning
Community fastersmarter.io/learning

to ask your questions live.

So let's jump right in.

Chris, what's your question, please?

Learning Community Member 1:
Question Matt, so I do a lot of

email correspondence and, and the
nature of my job is people are trying

to sell me things all the time.

And there's one introduction
that people often use to an email

that I've, I just don't like it
and I really try to avoid it.

It's people saying, I
hope you're doing well.

I know you'll understand what I'm talking
about, but I understand why it's there.

But it's soft language.

It's an empty gesture
'cause it doesn't matter.

And so I found myself, when I compose
an email, I just skip anything like

that and go straight to business.

What are your thoughts on that
and your experience with that?

Matt Abrahams: It's funny
that you bring that up, Chris.

So Glenn Kramon, who was one of
our early guests, he is a colleague

of mine at the business school.

He teaches a course on writing.

He is an editor at the New York Times.

He has exactly the same pet peeve.

He does not like the superfluous
nature of that, and I agree it's

trite now that people do it.

However, I do like the notion of trying to
connect first before jumping into an ask.

I think in some cases it can be a
little off-putting if you just jump

in straight away and say, I need this.

I think other modes of communication
are more for that type of

transactional, get to the point.

I'm thinking of Slack or even texting.

Email to me feels slightly more
formal and that's where I, I like to

start with some kind of connection.

I'll perhaps say hello.

I might comment on the day.

I might say, I hope that
your Tuesday is going well.

I might comment on something I
know that the person has done.

If I have some connection with
them, I might say, you know, how

is your kid's basketball game?

I know the last time we
spoke, you mentioned it.

So for me personally, it's a little hard
on email to jump right in with the ask.

That said, I totally appreciate
your point in using something

trite, I think can be difficult.

Do you use, Chris, I'm
gonna put a question to you.

Do you use any kind of, uh, affectation
or do you just jump straight in?

Learning Community Member 1: I
think I usually just say, I'd like

to share this with you, or, I was
thinking of you and this, this is

what I would like to share with you.

Matt Abrahams: Excellent.

Learning Community Member 1: Yeah.

Matt Abrahams: Yeah.

So you do, you do connect a little bit.

I mean, we have a lot of research,
we have a lot of research that

says connect first really helps.

It builds some warmth and relationship.

Uh, in an email, I think just as
I, I would say if a phone call or

a remote call like this, there is
some time that, that I think should

be reserved for connecting first.

But something trite such as
hope you are well is a bit much.

Uh, other questions that you might have?

Learning Community Member 2:
Hi, I am Jophan.

I'm from Germany, originally from India.

Whenever I try to speak something
impromptu, it just seems like

I'm speaking too fast, and then
there is this mess in my head that

I'm trying to string it through.

So do you have any suggestions or
any helpful tips that I can follow?

Matt Abrahams: Thank you for the question.

So Jophan, you're asking when speaking,
your brain is working really fast,

you're thinking of a lot of things,
and sometimes when you end up speaking

then you end up speaking fast.

And how are there ways to slow that down?

So there's several things to do.

First, we feel this intense
pressure in the moment, as you

mentioned, to respond right away.

And we don't have to, you can take a
pause, you can actually ask for it.

You can say, let me think
about that for a moment.

Or perhaps you could ask a
follow on question to get the

other person responding so
you can collect your thoughts.

Or any of you who've listened to the
show, know that I am a huge fan of

paraphrasing, extracting a key essence.

All three of those buy you a little bit
of time so that you can collect your

thoughts so you don't feel as rushed.

Because when we feel rushed, we
begin to think faster, we get

a little nervous and anxious.

So that's just giving yourself time.

Second, slowing yourself down.

Taking a deep breath.

When we get very anxious, we
breathe shallow, we start thinking

quickly, and we speak quickly.

So taking a deep breath slows down
the autonomic nervous system, slows

down your breath rate, so you'll
speak more slowly, and it can actually

slow down your thought process
because you're calming yourself down.

Mentally, what I encourage you to
do when you get in those moments

is to think to yourself, what's the
bottom line of what I want to say?

Anchor yourself.

A lot of us in those moments,
we think a lot of thoughts all

at once and it can get jumbled.

And that jumbled nature makes
us think quicker 'cause we're

trying to figure things out.

Just say to yourself, what's
the bottom line of my response?

What's the bottom line
of my thought or feeling?

Ground yourself there and then
build your response from that point.

And as you know, I'm a
big fan of structure.

This might be where what, so
what, now what, then comes in

once I hit the bottom line.

Learning Community Member 2: When
you are saying to slow down while

speaking, so I, I believe I'm a fast
speaker and probably it's for the good

or maybe for the worst, but I feel
comfortable when I'm speaking fast.

So do you have any ideas or
suggestions how I can really improve

to slow down speaking or am I
really fighting against my instinct?

Matt Abrahams: Many of us speak faster
than we want to, or in some cases should.

Speaking quickly boils down to breath.

Your voice is a wind instrument, just
like a flute, a clarinet, a saxophone.

So breath is really critical.

So there are three things I recommend
to people to help slow down.

First, breathe more deeply.

When you breathe deeply, you are
actually slowing down your speaking

rate because it just takes longer to do.

When I breathe shallow, I speak really
quickly because I'm breathing fast.

So I, so when I take a
deep breath, I slow down.

So first, if you know you're going into
an interaction where you're likely to

speak quickly and you want to speak
slower, take a deep belly breath.

Second, gesture more slowly,
I bet you gesture quickly.

Most people who speak fast gesture fast.

We sync up our gesture
rate and our speaking rate.

So another thing you can do to slow
yourself down is to gesture more slowly.

The slower I gesture, the slower I speak.

So low, slow breathing, slower gestures.

And then the final bit of advice is
a mental idea, which is imagine that

everyone you are speaking to is non-native
to the language you are speaking.

So if I believe everybody I'm talking
to is newer to the language that

I'm speaking, in my case English,
by nature, we tend to slow down.

So breathe more slowly, deeper, gesture
more slowly, and remind yourself

that everybody you're speaking to is
new to the language you're speaking.

And those three things in some combination
will help slow down your speaking rate.

Hopefully that was helpful.

Yulia, I'd love to hear your question.

Please.

Learning Community Member 3: Thank
you so much for having me here.

First, I would like to thank you so much,
Matt, for the wisdom that you're sharing.

My question is the following.

All of us have by nature, we have
specific kind of way how we communicate.

Some of us are more soft-spoken,
some of us are more direct.

I believe that all communicators,
all good communicators, have to

have a wide repertoire or like tool
that can be applied in different

occasions and with different people.

So how can we develop this ability
to adapt to different people who

may not necessarily appreciate
our nature, the way we are?

Matt Abrahams: What I hear in your
question, Yulia, is really talking

about authenticity, who we really are
and our approach, and thinking about

the expectations that others have.

I will always argue that we
should be true to ourselves.

Being disingenuous, faking it.

That's not how we want to come off.

It doesn't feel good, and
often it can get us in trouble.

That said, there are certain expectations
in certain communication situations

where we might have to adjust and adapt.

So some of you, for your work, for
example, have to speak in a very

formal way, giving presentations or
in meetings, and that might not be

comfortable or what is typical in
your more conversational approach.

So certainly our authenticity
has to meet reality.

I am not saying to, again,
be disingenuous, but we

have to be responsive.

Our goal is to serve the
audiences that we speak to.

The single best thing you can do to help
understand and be authentic is to take

the time to really reflect on what's
important for you and where your strengths

are and your areas to strengthen.

Every night before I go to bed, I
journal, and part of that journaling is

to reflect on something that went well
that day in my communication and something

that I'd like to improve from that day.

And every Sunday I come back and look at
what I've written for the previous week

and make a plan for the subsequent week,
and I've been doing that for decades.

And that helps me to really not only
develop my skills, but to really

best understand what's important
to me in communication and how

I can lean into those things.

Be authentic, understand what's
important to you and how you

want to show up so that you feel
comfortable in yourself doing that.

But at the same time, think
about the expectations of the

situation and what would help.

So for example, part of who I
am is I, I'm very curious, so I

like to ask lots of questions.

You all have heard me ask lots of
questions, but sometimes there's

situations where asking questions is not
what the circumstance or context demands,

and I need to adjust and adapt while still
staying true to my curiosity and who I am.

So it's first about discovering
what's important to you.

The reflection activity I do every
evening might help as part of that.

And then it's being aware of what's
expected in the situation, in the context.

Learning Community Member 3: Thank you.

I appreciate it, Matt.

Matt Abrahams: Other questions
that some of you might have?

Would love to, to take one or two more
questions before I wrap things up.

Learning Community Member 4: I'm
giving a talk for the Alzheimer's

Association, which I do as a
volunteer and it's scripted.

It's, it's very, it has these
speaker notes and it's specific

information that they kind of stand by.

So I'm just kind of struggling with like
these speaker notes that are, you know,

it's like I'm either reading it, and so
I'm kinda struggling with, do I just stand

in front of these people and read it?

Matt Abrahams: There are times when
all of us have to communicate where

we are expected to say certain things.

Think of a, a company executive
who, because of the media,

because of investors, needs to say
something exactly the right way

because they can get in trouble.

I don't think your situation is
that defined, but they do want you

to get certain information across.

So I would, as best I could if I were in
your shoes, find a way to integrate that

information into a way that's true and
authentic for me, that's comfortable.

So maybe I don't use every word that they
say, but I get the general idea across.

If you can embed that in a truth
for you, a story that's relevant

to you, an experience that
you've had, that makes it easier.

So a way that I coach executives to deal
with the problem that you're having.

So let's say their legal department sends
the paragraph, you have to say this.

I will have them read it a couple times
so they're familiar with what it says,

and then I'll say, put the paragraph aside
and just speak what you remember of it.

And as they're doing
that, we're recording it.

And we do it a couple times and we begin
to see their natural way of saying it.

So they're not memorizing it, they're
just saying, here's the way they've

internalized it, and then they share it.

And then what we do from that
is we create bullet points.

So it's not a paragraph, but we
create a few bullet points that

are enough to trigger them to help.

What I do personally, what works for me,
and this might work for you, Elizabeth,

is I turn things into questions.

For some reason, my brain is better
able to remember content when I remind

myself that I'm answering a question
rather than relaying information,

even if the information is the same.

So instead of saying, I want to cover
these two points, I say, I'm going to

answer these two questions, and I frame
it as a question that I am answering.

It takes some of the pressure off,
and for some reason I am able to

get the information across in a more
clear, concise, and accurate way.

So my two bits of advice to you in
your situation is to speak it out loud

a couple times, reading it, and then
record yourself saying it without looking

at the manuscript, see where you land,
and then create an outline from that.

And maybe also think if somebody
asked me the question, what does

this organization do or how can
you support this organization?

Just answer those questions
and see how close you come to

the manuscript they gave you.

My hunch, if you're like me, is
you'll come pretty close when

you frame it as a question.

I hope there was something in
there that could be helpful.

Learning Community Member 4:
Yeah, absolutely.

Thanks.

Matt Abrahams: Excellent.

Learning Community Member 5: I had a
question, something that you did there

with concluding and saying like any
questions, I feel like that's oftentimes

sort of a panic stage of a presentation
where my mind starts racing about if there

are no questions, how I'm going to kind
of ad lib to fill up the awkward silence.

And then also fight off concerns
like, okay, are there not questions,

because either I delivered something
completely nonsensical or it was so dull

that it didn't prompt any questions.

Matt Abrahams: Yeah.

Learning Community Member 5: And
then I think also the start of

presentations are the places where
I feel like I struggle the most.

And of course with the start,
it sort of sets the tone for

the rest of things to follow.

So I'm curious about if
you have tips on that.

Matt Abrahams: Many of us are most
nervous when we start a communication,

be it a meeting, a presentation,
even a social interaction.

So the advice I give to people, one, is
to get present and collect your thoughts.

Deep breathing, focusing on your goal.

But I also like to have people
distract their audiences, get

them doing something so their
attention isn't just focused on you.

How do you do that?

Well, you don't want the
distraction to be off topic, do

something that gets them engaged.

So for example, take a poll.

If you're in front of a large
group, how many of you have.

Show a video clip.

I worked with a very senior
leader at a company you all know.

He's very nervous when he speaks,
especially at the beginning.

So all he does is say,
good morning everyone.

Let's watch this video.

And he has a video clip that's very
brief, and then when the video's over,

he just asks people to comment on it.

So when you take a poll, when you show
a video, when you put up a provocative

image, slide, whatever, you take
people's attention away from you.

And if you immediately ask a
question on the response, then

you are in a different role.

You're now a facilitator, not a presenter.

And for many of us, we are much
more comfortable in that situation.

So I challenge all of you to think
about how can I start in a way that

invites people to engage so their
attention is not just on me, it's

on the activity, whatever that was.

So that's how I recommend you start
in a way that can reduce some of

that awkwardness and nervousness.

Now on the other side of the
equation, when you go to call

for questions and there are no
questions, first you have to wait.

Pausing is appropriate.

There are lots of reasons people
don't ask questions right away.

Maybe they're nervous and they're
trying to muster their courage.

Maybe they're thinking of their
answer or their question first.

Maybe they're just trying to see what
types of questions get asked, so you

have to pause and then if no questions
come in, ask yourself a question.

I am a big fan of what I
call a back pocket question.

So if nobody asks a question, I might say,
a question I'm often asked is, so, you

see, I'm about to ask myself a question.

Now, obviously, I should know
the answer to my question.

That could really be helpful to making
sure that the dead air is filled.

And you'd be amazed that when you
answer that question, how easily

you get the second question.

So it's all about getting your
audience engaged in some activity

upfront, so it changes your role
for presenter to facilitator.

And in the end, you have to pause
when you call for questions.

And then if no questions come
in, ask yourself a question.

And just by knowing that you
have those tools, it reduces your

anxiety because you know you can
handle both of those situations.

So I encourage all of you to try one
or both of those in a lower stake

situation, not a super high stakes
one to see the value, and that'll only

build your confidence even farther.

Thank you for joining us for this
Quick Thinks Ask Matt Anything episode.

To join our next AMA live, sign up
for our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning

Community at fastersmarter.io/learning.

This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.

Our music is from Floyd Wonder.

With thanks to Podium Podcast Company.

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