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This week, Kim welcomes a hot new islander to the show...Elan Bibas. In this episode, special guest Elan spills for Love Island USA fans and anyone looking for reality TV tea.They talk all about curly haircare in Fiji's humidity, how Elan got cast (and sequestered) for the show, and what makes him a hopeless romantic. Elan also reveals how his family reacted to him going on Love Island and what his dating life looks like now. In the Drama Club, Kim and Elan discuss Taylor Swift's latest announcement. Plus, they break down why people love watching reality dating shows in this BU article. For honest advice from a male POV, tune in to Ask Grandma Anything. Elan helps Kim answer questions about dating, getting the "best guy" in the room's attention, and more! Leave a voicemail at Grandma Gail’s Voicemail, DM us on Instagram, or email team@excusemygrandma.com for advice!Follow us onInstagram @excusemygrandma TikTok @excusemygrandma Watch on YoutubeSpotifyMusic By: Guy Kelly00:00: Introduction25:45: The Drama Club28:30: The Grandma Report30:19: Ask Grandma Anything
This week, Kim welcomes a hot new islander to the show...Elan Bibas. In this episode, special guest Elan spills for Love Island USA fans and anyone looking for reality TV tea.
They talk all about curly haircare in Fiji's humidity, how Elan got cast (and sequestered) for the show, and what makes him a hopeless romantic. Elan also reveals how his family reacted to him going on Love Island and what his dating life looks like now.
In the Drama Club, Kim and Elan discuss Taylor Swift's latest announcement. Plus, they break down why people love watching reality dating shows in this BU article. For honest advice from a male POV, tune in to Ask Grandma Anything. Elan helps Kim answer questions about dating, getting the "best guy" in the room's attention, and more!
Leave a voicemail at Grandma Gail’s Voicemail, DM us on Instagram, or email team@excusemygrandma.com for advice!
Follow us on
Instagram @excusemygrandma
TikTok @excusemygrandma
Watch on
Music By: Guy Kelly
00:00: Introduction
25:45: The Drama Club
28:30: The Grandma Report
30:19: Ask Grandma Anything
Grandma Gail is full of wisdom... even if Kim doesn't always take it to heart. Every week, the granddaughter/grandmother duo share stories, chat about their lives, discuss pop culture, and unpack the generational differences of dating, sex, relationships, and more. Listen on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the show in full on YouTube and follow @excusemygrandma on TikTok and Instagram to keep tabs on what’s happening in their lives between episodes.
Inquiries: team@excusemygrandma.com.
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Speaker 3:Welcome back to Excuse My Grandma. This week, it is just Kim, no Grandma Gail, because I'm doing an interview with a cast member of one of my favorite shows, Love Island USA. It was so good this season. By the way, if you don't already follow Excuse My Grandma, make sure you're pressing the follow button whether you're listening on Apple, Spotify, it's in the little corner. And also follow us on social media.
Speaker 3:My personal is Kimmerstein. Otherwise, we're Excuse My Grandma, and our podcast is every Thursday. So I'm doing this episode without grandma because she basically shits on my love for reality TV. And every time I bring it up, she's like, I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:Which sometimes is funny, but in this case, I wanna get really in the weeds with our guest. Elan Bibas was a late addition to season seven of Love Island USA. He came in Casa Amor. He was a bombshell. And then he was eliminated a week or so after he came.
Speaker 3:He did go into the main villa. So he met everybody and he was super involved and we love him. So he was born in Canada, lives in Miami. He has lots of thoughts on dating. So we're gonna welcome him to the show.
Speaker 3:Elon, welcome to Excuse My Grandma.
Speaker 4:Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3:I don't even recognize you with a shirt on. Yeah. It's like a whole new thing.
Speaker 4:And the bathing suit?
Speaker 3:Yeah. And the bathing suit.
Speaker 4:I should've come in that.
Speaker 3:I feel like packing was for I'm always packing with my grandma and, like, going different places, and she's helping me with the outfits. Do you feel like you packed appropriately?
Speaker 4:I think what most people don't realize is they gave me, like, two days notice.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 4:So I didn't have that much time to put everything together. I kinda just threw everything that I owned into two bags and went for it.
Speaker 3:That's actually crazy. Because I heard from other podcasts and things that people were kind of quarantined in a Yeah. Hotel before. So did you have to do quarantined. Not quarantined.
Speaker 3:Stuck in a hotel. Whatever.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I had to do that. I so I think, like, the goal is they they wanna push you in at the time that makes the most amount of sense based off of romantic interest and all that stuff.
Speaker 3:Okay. Right.
Speaker 4:So they'll bring you in, and they're waiting to find the right time. For me, that took three and a half weeks.
Speaker 3:You were in a hotel for three and a half weeks?
Speaker 4:Yep. With no phone. Nothing.
Speaker 3:Yeah. What did you do?
Speaker 4:I spent a lot of time reading. I read eight books. I I
Speaker 3:knew you. I was like, what did you do? It sounds like the worst thing ever. And it's like, there was a time with no phones Yeah. Where you could actually do things.
Speaker 4:Oh, I made the conscious decision because I knew I was gonna have some time in there that I wanted to use it as a time for myself that I could be like, when else you're gonna have a time where
Speaker 3:you have Yeah.
Speaker 4:Literally no responsibilities, completely disconnected from the outside world, and you're able to just go inwards and do anything that want. Mhmm. So I spent the time, like, reading, meditating, journaling, like, all of this stuff. And then watching, obviously, a little bit of Netflix and stuff too.
Speaker 3:Okay. Nice. Nice. Tell our audience, like, a good book recommendation that you read.
Speaker 4:A good book recommendation. Okay. I feel like everyone talks about this book, but I hadn't read it until I until those weeks that I was there. The Alchemist.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4:At that point I
Speaker 3:read it in, like, fifth grade.
Speaker 4:Right? Yeah. So many people have read it, and they've talked about how much of a pivotal book it is for them in their life. And I just so happened to read it at a time in my life that was also very pivotal. And it just just, like, synced up so well.
Speaker 4:So that book resonated with me so deeply at that moment.
Speaker 3:I love that. Okay. So I wanna get into your time after the Villa. Okay. But first, let's talk, like, Love Island, why you're there.
Speaker 3:Also, for people who listen to us, because we have a lot of, like, moms and grandmas or girls who are constantly talking about Love Island and guys who, like, don't know how to explain it to their parents and grandparents, How would you describe to someone 50 what Love Island is?
Speaker 4:Oh, okay. That's an interesting question. I would say it's kind of like one of your more typical dating shows meets a social experiment almost. For those that are in like a little bit of the older audience, I think it would probably be more similar to how dating maybe was back then where you don't have phones, you don't have you're really focused on spending intentional time with the people there, and also you just so happen to be locked in a house with them.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And you're in Fiji.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Beautiful weather. Beautiful place.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I think it's a pretty good explanation. It's not rocket science like hot people on an island dating each other. Like, that's what everyone says, but it's true. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:So how did you initially get casted for the show?
Speaker 4:They sent me back in January. They sent me a DM. I honestly thought it was like a joke. Yeah. My reply to the DM was, I've never seen this show before, but if that's not a problem for you guys, I'm interested.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Probably love that. Conversation. Yeah. I think I think they they really want people that are as authentic as possible.
Speaker 4:So if you don't know the show or you've never really heard of it, I think that's usually a plus.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:I kind of went through the interview process not thinking that I was gonna be casted because I'm, at least from the little bit of reality TV that I've seen, I'm, like, very different from what I've seen in those people before.
Speaker 3:Why do you say that?
Speaker 4:I think the reality TV that I've seen is, like, very, like, Jersey Shore and things like that. Whereas I'm, like, I work a corporate job.
Speaker 3:I'm like
Speaker 4:a lot of the work I do is very geeky. I'm an AI. I'm an engineer. Like they wouldn't and I don't really I don't drink at all. I party very little and I'm very much a one person kind of guy.
Speaker 4:I really focus on one person at a time. I won't date around. So I'm like, oh, there's no way they're gonna cast me, but it'll be a funny story to tell that I've gone through this energy process. Right?
Speaker 3:Process. I hear the Canadian name. That's the Canadian. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Everyone always calls that out. But I so I went through it not thinking much of it and then eventually I didn't hear anything for a few months and then I get a call saying, hey, at the end of this week, could you fly to LA for an in person conversation? I was like, okay. I guess I guess we're gonna do this. This will just be again another fun part of the process.
Speaker 4:And I went in with zero expectations, just thought I'm gonna have fun. They're not gonna cast me. It's whatever. And I think because I went in with no expectations, I had a lot of fun there in the conversation. That's so true.
Speaker 3:When you're nervous for something and it's so important to you, like, you might freak out and not be your true self. Exactly. That's I don't know if the advice is like don't care when you're going into something, but it's like don't act like it's end all be
Speaker 4:all. Exactly. Yeah. It's like it's almost like the what's meant to be is meant to be and just have faith in the process. And there we go.
Speaker 4:Saying process. That's okay.
Speaker 3:Sorry. Called it out.
Speaker 4:No. It's all good.
Speaker 3:Okay. And then it just worked out.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I got the call a couple weeks after that saying, come out. And I just decided this will be a like, obviously, I'm I was looking for a romantic partner at the time, so I thought it was perfect alignment with that. Mhmm. And on top of that, I always love to take fun adventures.
Speaker 4:I do that in many different ways in my personal life. So this is just another fun side quest for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I love that. And now that you have gone through the whole process, like, do you think you'll watch Love Island going forward?
Speaker 4:That's a good
Speaker 3:You weren't a fan before, but you have to be a fan now.
Speaker 4:I think I'm gonna have to try it and see. But it's also, like, once you've been on it and you see how everything happens
Speaker 3:So true. Maybe it's too close to home.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It just feels a little bit different. I'll have to let you know next season.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Please let
Speaker 4:me know.
Speaker 3:Did you watch your own season?
Speaker 4:We had to watch bits and pieces. Okay. Yeah. So leading up to actually going in, you're watching some of the episodes to say who you might be romantically interested in and so on and so forth. But and then we had to watch a couple of our clips of what we were in, but that's pretty much it.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I haven't seen everything.
Speaker 3:So you're basically waiting and you're gonna say that because I love the behind the scenes of it all.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:Like, you're waiting to tell the producer, like, I like that girl. Like, put me in coach.
Speaker 4:Yep. Yep. I literally wrote those exact words. Put me in coach. On on the notes that I was giving back to them.
Speaker 3:That's so crazy. So you were coupled up with Sierra. Mhmm. So that's when you felt like you wanted to go in to, like, be with her. Or were there a few girls you had your eye on?
Speaker 4:I mean, they as you're watching every episode, you have to, like, give them who you're interested in.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 4:So you they're always expressing interest, but, obviously, you're more interested in some over the other. Yeah. I think at the beginning, was obviously, like I I was actually interested in Bella when I was first writing my notes, but
Speaker 3:So early.
Speaker 4:She left the show early. Yeah. So then it ended up being Sierra that was put in Wow. For
Speaker 3:So you had to wait that long. That is so crazy. But I feel like it all worked out. You made a lot of good friends in the process. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Now that you're in the real world, are you still looking to date?
Speaker 4:Yeah. I I think, like, that was my intention going in. So it'd be crazy for me not to be open to that afterwards. You know, things have kind of started to happen a little bit. Obviously, there's I'm still exploring romantic connections, and there's been some opportunities to explore it, I guess, after coming off of the show.
Speaker 3:What does that mean? Like, lot of girls reaching out?
Speaker 4:Obviously, there's been, like, people reaching out, but I would say, like, there was someone's caught my attention. That's awesome.
Speaker 3:That's exciting. I also feel like I forgot where I saw that you said this, but that you're a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3:So am I. What does that mean to you?
Speaker 4:That's a good question. I think historically, it's meant more like I'm a I love doing big gestures for someone. I care very deeply about people, and I'll be very intentional with if I know that they like certain things. But as I've gotten older, I've honestly realized the hopeless romantic kinda comes a little bit more in some of those smaller moments where you can really show love and care for someone by getting them a coffee. Even if you're like on the other side of of The US and you're you send them a coffee by Uber Eats or something like There's so
Speaker 3:many Have you done that? Of course. Yeah. Nice.
Speaker 4:That, flowers, it's all these like little things that you can do to brighten someone's day on a more day to day basis. Very small things that I feel like is how I now express my hopeless romantic. And even the way that I like to spend time with someone, it's like if we can sit down at a coffee shop and do some work together, if we can go out on like a walk together, like it's really the little moments for me that I think have become more important now.
Speaker 3:And by the way, like, most girls I know love that kind of shit. So it's like, why don't guys do it? They know that the girl will like it. So, like, I I feel like there's so many circumstances where you have an opportunity to send flowers or send a coffee. Why not take it?
Speaker 3:Like, why don't your friend some of your friends or some of the guys in the villa, like, who wouldn't remember to make a coffee in the morning or something? Like, what was the reason, do you think?
Speaker 4:I think well, inside the villa, it's a different circumstance because it's a very stressful environment. Think that's another thing that a lot of people don't realize. Yeah. I know there was a meme circulating of me, like, on, like, the first night that I was in there lying in bed
Speaker 3:like this.
Speaker 4:Like, does he sleep like this? Right. Was just so stressed that I can't Mine
Speaker 3:is running.
Speaker 4:Exactly. I couldn't sleep at all. And I think because that a lot of things fall through the cracks, people are obviously looking to care to take care of themselves as well as find that romantic interest. Mhmm. But I would say, like, outside of it, I I'm very intentional with who I choose to surround myself with, and a lot of the guys that I surround myself with behave very much in a similar manner to myself.
Speaker 4:Yeah. But I think a lot of it is just, like, could be dependent on how you were brought up, the relationships that you've had in the past. True. And I think a lot of guys feel like it has to be the big gestures, and that's really what they try to focus on instead of the little day to day things. And I think if we talked about it a little bit more and people communicate a little bit more, they'd realize that it's really those those small beautiful things and those intentional moments you get to spend with someone that matter Love the
Speaker 3:that. So when you're going in to the villa, do you feel like were you thinking of, okay, I have a strategy here or not even like in a game playing way, just like, how am I gonna conduct myself and who am I gonna go after? Like, what is your thought process?
Speaker 4:I so my my main thing is I wanted to be open to the experience completely. I think it's a very unique experience. And so to close myself off and say I'm only gonna go for this specific person or this type of person, I think kind of ruins the experience experience.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:It's a beautiful time to experiment and try things that you would maybe not typically try and really experiment with it. So I I obviously wanted to go in with an open mind. And then on top of that, I think the number one most important thing for me there was just to maintain my authenticity. I feel very happy with the fact that I had a strong sense of identity before going in. I really knew who I was.
Speaker 4:I had a strong idea of what my values were. And if I could maintain that for the whole show, I wanted to be able to come off and all my friends and family tell me you were the exact same person on there as you are here, you know?
Speaker 3:Speaking of friends and family, obviously, I do this podcast on our social media with my grandma typically, so I'm constantly getting her feedback on my life.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:What was the feedback when they were watching or when you came home? Like, the the fact that you even went on the show, but also, like, the heart rate challenge and things that are a little bit more risque.
Speaker 4:I mean, like, my family is super supportive. Even before going on the show, like, I was nervous. I was asking them, like, should I do this? Like, is this a wild thing to do? They were like, I have a very adventurous family.
Speaker 4:We grew up traveling and doing all kinds of crazy stuff. And so they they always push for do the thing that's adventure that's gonna give you the more stories and stories to share.
Speaker 3:What is that like? I literally like, but the thing is, I was just gonna say I have a Jewish grandma. Like, I have a Jewish mom. Like, they are overly involved. They're gonna say, like, why would you do that and be crazy?
Speaker 3:Like Mhmm. But you're Jewish. Like but I guess they don't have that Yeah. Like over involvement.
Speaker 4:Definitely an over involvement.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:But like over involvement, especially in pushing you to pursue things that are either somewhat aligned or that they feel will give you the adventure. Like, my parents grew up traveling all that's, like, how they fell in love was just traveling and doing all these beautiful adventures. And so they really push us to do the same. They push us to, like my brother did a study abroad program. My sister my brother's actually in London now.
Speaker 4:My sister lives in Belgium doing a PhD. I moved to The US and
Speaker 3:got all scattered.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker 3:Wow. By the way, do you consider yourself a nice Jewish boy?
Speaker 4:Honestly, I hadn't even heard of that term until I got off the show, and it's like Really? All over my pages. I guess not really a big thing in
Speaker 3:Canada because it's like American.
Speaker 4:Yeah. But I had heard that after, and I was like, I honestly, I'm not even really fully sure what it means.
Speaker 3:What it is. But It's just like a mensch. It's like someone who
Speaker 4:That I know.
Speaker 3:Okay. Same exact thing. No wrong answers. I feel like
Speaker 4:I I try to hold myself in a way that's aligned with, like, my values and the way that I choose to carry myself, I think, is is the thing. It's I don't know what everyone else's definition of it would be, but as long as I feel like I'm aligned with who I wanna be, then
Speaker 3:That was a nice Jewish boy answer, so I'm gonna take that as a yes. Also, they I saw a video you posted with your dad reacting to
Speaker 4:you I didn't post that video. He's very my no. My my brother
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:Was running my social media while I was gone. Yeah. I put him in charge. He's, like, very good at that kind of stuff. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And he's the person I trust most in the world.
Speaker 3:So nice.
Speaker 4:And and to my surprise when I got out, he had like my mom reviewing videos, my sister, my dad, like I'm like he went off.
Speaker 3:That is so funny. What was the craziest or, like, funniest video that he posted, do you think?
Speaker 4:The funniest video that he posted. Honestly, I I thought it was really funny when I came out, and I realized that he had made, like, so many memes of the different, like, shots of me, like the one with me with my eyes open, like different pictures of me throughout the show and my experience. And I'm, I guess, a very expressive person with my face. So all of those were just so funny to see.
Speaker 3:What about your coworkers? I also saw you did a video like reading Slacks when you got home Yeah. Which was so funny. So you were working in like tech? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:I work in technology and management consulting.
Speaker 3:Okay. Plans to go back? I mean, this really switches things up. So I I feel like a lot of people then, whatever their job was, they're like, okay. Now full time content creator.
Speaker 3:What do you think in there?
Speaker 4:So I think for me, I I mean, I come from a background in engineering. Yeah. I've like built AI startups in the past, and I obviously love the world of, like, tech. Mhmm. For me, I really need to feel that, like, intellectual challenge.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So I think it's always gonna be a part of my life. I'm actually still employed with my employer, and I do have
Speaker 3:Oh, good.
Speaker 4:Hands on going back because I love the work that I do. So I I was very happy that I could have and maintain that relationship with my work while doing this opportunity.
Speaker 3:Yeah. My grandma, if she was on the couch with me, would be like, don't throw that away, an engineering background. Like, you have to go back.
Speaker 4:Classic. Yeah. Yeah. My my parents shared a very very similar sentiment. It's like, wanna try to explore both.
Speaker 4:I've always been the person where, in addition to my day job, I always have side ventures and things that I'm exploring.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:Prior to doing this whole crazy Love Island experience, I was already making content Yes. In the health and wellness space, mental health, and and doing my ultra marathons, all of that. I plan to continue to to make content in that area that aligns with my goal of just trying to help more people live happier and healthier lives.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I love that. You've also posted the curl routine, which I've Your hair looks great.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much.
Speaker 3:How did you deal with the Fiji humidity and, like, doing your hair every day?
Speaker 4:Honestly, it was challenging. There's definitely some pictures that you see where my hair is like yeah. The Jufo really comes out.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Right. Exactly.
Speaker 4:But I it's actually funny when I was getting sick and tired of my hair and I couldn't handle when the days were really humid Mhmm. It's actually the days where you guys saw me do the slick back.
Speaker 3:I think so.
Speaker 4:I was like, I'm so done with, like, my hair being all in my face, and I just ran the product through my hair. And I had no idea that that was gonna be, like, a whole thing when I came out after.
Speaker 3:What product are you using to do that?
Speaker 4:I used, a what's it called? Like a pomade or something?
Speaker 3:Right. Right. Okay.
Speaker 4:Just like a it was a clay from a company called Highland.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:I threw my hair, and that was it.
Speaker 3:Wow. Okay. Mhmm. Yeah. Because I feel like is that what you also use to do your curls, and you're just using more of it?
Speaker 3:Or that's a different
Speaker 4:Different product.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I've I've tried a bunch of different things out. The the thing that I'm actually using right now, a company sent it to me, is called Wavy.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 4:It's actually from AL Booker, who's a previous Love Islander.
Speaker 3:I was gonna bring him up. Yeah. Because you have to have gotten that you look alike and you're both in the Love Island universe. It's really the hair.
Speaker 4:Do you want a funny story?
Speaker 3:Yes. Of course.
Speaker 4:Okay. So probably like three years ago, I was in Montreal, thrift shopping, and I walk into a thrift store and the person who's running the thrift store tells me you look exactly like this person from Love Island. Yeah. It's AL Booker. And so I follow him on Instagram because he does fashion stuff, and I loved his sense of style, hair, and everything.
Speaker 4:Totally. So I've been following him for, like, three years, not knowing that eventually I'm gonna be on the show. Of course. Now he and I are obviously connected, and it's just so wild.
Speaker 3:Something together.
Speaker 4:I I think so too.
Speaker 3:So I guess you did know of Love Island because of him.
Speaker 4:I didn't know him from Love Island.
Speaker 3:Like Just as
Speaker 4:an influencer kind of thing. But, like, I was only following him for the fashion content
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And all the other things that I enjoy.
Speaker 3:That's so funny. Yeah. I feel like now you've probably been connected with a lot of people from the Love Island universe. Right? Or is it mostly still your season?
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Speaker 4:I've connected with a few other people, but it's mostly my season. Yeah. And then I've used it as a good opportunity. I've connected with a lot of other a lot of people that I was already following before, like big runners and people in those spaces. You have a platform now.
Speaker 4:Yeah. They've recently reached out to me and like, hey, let's connect. And I I really enjoy that because if I can do more runs, more ultra marathons, more of the things that I enjoy with people that I enjoy, I think that's that's amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I wanna hear more about like behind the scenes. Okay. How, like, how were producers involved? For example, I always wonder this. When you're doing a re coupling and there's like the pause before you say who you're gonna couple up with, are they saying like, wait.
Speaker 3:Okay. Now go. Like, how are the how are they kinda running the show?
Speaker 4:I feel like people think that it could be like scripted or highly involved, but all the moments that you guys see are exactly what we wanna be saying in those moments. Like, it's fully up to us to say exactly what we wanna say and, like, how we say it and everything as well.
Speaker 3:So Yeah. I believe it.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, it's all so authentic to me. Mhmm. I just feel like there has to be some like, okay, everyone go now sit around the fire pit. Is it really that you're getting a text that's saying to do that? Yeah.
Speaker 3:So no one's saying, okay, now, like, assuring you to sit in this order. None of that.
Speaker 4:I think that there's naturally some level of coordination.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's what
Speaker 4:makes the show so like, it is the biggest show in the space. Mhmm. I think it's done it it is that way because the people are so authentic. The the moments that you see are so authentic. And then there is a level of coordination that keeps a very cohesive storyline going.
Speaker 4:Right?
Speaker 3:And do have off days?
Speaker 4:Yeah. There's a there's a few moments, like, naturally, like anyone, need some days where you're
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You just take a lot of naps. Yeah. You know?
Speaker 3:Okay. So it's more like chilling around. And there's no cameras on those days?
Speaker 4:It's days where where we're basically taking naps Mhmm. Resting, recovering. Mental health is very important, not only to, like, us, but also to the to the show. Mhmm. And so they make sure that we're taken care of in the
Speaker 3:Good. I'm glad. Yeah. Because I always wonder like what if someone says something when a camera isn't there that is then important to
Speaker 4:No. Make sure that that never happens.
Speaker 3:Okay. Yeah. Very interesting. I wanted to ask also, when you were coupled up with Sierra, I think it was, you were like, oh, I always date Libras. Are you into the zodiac?
Speaker 4:I'm honestly not super into it. I don't know much about it. It's just a pattern that I've somewhat noticed in some of the previous relationships that I've been in.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:That that just so happens to be the case. Yeah. It's not a rule, but it is a pattern that was beautifully brought up in that moment too.
Speaker 3:Yeah. What are you?
Speaker 4:I'm a Leo.
Speaker 3:You're a Leo. Okay. Interesting. Are Leos and Libras even compatible?
Speaker 4:I don't know. You'd have to tell me that. Do you know?
Speaker 3:No. I don't know. I only know for myself. So What are Pisces.
Speaker 4:And what are you compatible with?
Speaker 3:Cancer and Scorpio, Like the other water sign.
Speaker 4:Only two options.
Speaker 3:I think so. I don't I don't really know. I mean, like, I was in LA the other day and I did a tarot card reading. Yep. And that is the most LA thing I'll ever say.
Speaker 3:And I learned a lot about, like, numerology and stuff. And I actually thought it was interesting. Like, I wanna learn more about it. But I was hoping you would be the guru today, but I think we're equally lost in this.
Speaker 4:Exactly.
Speaker 3:Okay. So life after the villa. Who are you still hanging out with? Who are you chatting to from the cast?
Speaker 4:I think I have a pretty good relationship with everyone. Obviously, when I got out, there was only a number of people that were out at the same time. Right. Okay. So those I those people I ended up spending some time with when I was in LA as well.
Speaker 4:And so we've developed, like, deeper relationships. Obviously, I have a really strong bromance with Zach, JD as well. Yep. And then when some other people came out, we always said, I I actually had a birthday a couple weekends ago, so a bunch of people flew in for the birthday. Yay.
Speaker 4:Thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Did you turn?
Speaker 4:25.
Speaker 3:Oh my god. You're a baby.
Speaker 4:Everyone says that after.
Speaker 3:I just I don't know what I thought you were, but I wasn't expecting '25.
Speaker 4:Yeah. People often
Speaker 3:Wow. Okay. That's a big birthday. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's exciting.
Speaker 4:It honestly like such I was planning on just like having some friends all crash at a house together. Mhmm. And then when when I came off the show, I had an opportunity to do a big thing for my birthday. So I decided to just go as big as I can in a way where I could give back to all of my friends and family who supported me through the whole process as much as possible. And so everyone had such a unique and wild weekend together.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Was amazing.
Speaker 3:Some of the girls I've seen have gone on other podcasts. Did you listen to any of those interviews? Like, you see their press at all?
Speaker 4:I gotta be honest. I
Speaker 3:Okay. I'm just curious because I also thought I heard that there was, like, beef between a few, and so I didn't know if you were, oh, that's totally fake or not.
Speaker 4:No. I think, like I mean, a lot of the things are things that just, like, happen on the show. Right? And people just wanna talk it out after.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You know, like anyone.
Speaker 3:Of course. Makes sense. So you had the reunion. It hasn't aired yet. What were, like, your thoughts going in?
Speaker 3:Were was there something you're like, I need to get it off my chest or just open to anything?
Speaker 4:I was open to anything. Yeah. You know, I didn't really have, yeah, much to get off my chest or say really.
Speaker 3:Who hosted Ariana and Andy Cohen?
Speaker 4:Don't know what I can what I can say, to be honest with you.
Speaker 3:Really? Okay. Anything you can and can't say, like, we we'll we'll chat offline. I wanted to get into our segment, the drama club. So just getting your thoughts on some pop culture moments.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:Taylor Swift's new album, are you Swifty?
Speaker 4:Can't say that I am.
Speaker 3:Can't say that I am.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:She announced it and it's my entire social feed. And I don't really care. And I and I don't want people to come after me.
Speaker 4:No. I people are die hard Swiftie
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:They they will pass, especially in Canada too, pass a lot of judgment if you don't like her.
Speaker 3:Like, what is that about? Like, you can't come after people just because they're not obsessed.
Speaker 4:I don't know. I I mean, I think she is an incredible businesswoman
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Artist, and the way she's
Speaker 3:able to 100% agree.
Speaker 4:Get there and, yeah. It's it's incredible what she's able to do. Mhmm. I just think, like, you know, different music vibes with different people.
Speaker 3:Yeah. True. She went on her boyfriend's podcast, like, the Kelsey brothers, and people were like, oh my god. Taylor Swift's doing a podcast, which I guess is a big deal.
Speaker 4:Are you fan podcast she's ever done?
Speaker 3:I don't know if it's the first, but I I think it's definitely the first in a while, or maybe it is the first ever. But I thought it was, like, wild that people were, like I don't even know if the podcast has actually come out yet. I really don't know anything about this.
Speaker 4:I mean, I think it's really cool that she chose to do it with that's her boyfriend, right, her boyfriend's podcast. Yeah. That's fun. You can have that in a relationship where you're able to, like, work together and also maintain the relationship and have that beautiful thing. I think that's that's amazing.
Speaker 3:That is my dream. Like, my boyfriend's sort of in media. And I was like, why can't you quit your job and just, like, you and I start a company in the space? And like, I think that would be so much fun.
Speaker 4:I agree. I think that's like the dream. Someone that you can create with is just such a beautiful way to experience a relationship. Yeah. It's like there's levels to love.
Speaker 4:And if you can create and accomplish together, I think that's a very high order of of relationship.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. I also think, especially in a space that's like so creative Mhmm. Trusting someone and like being able to bounce off of each other is so rare. So I don't know. Because a lot of people are like, how could you ever work with a partner?
Speaker 3:And even with me and my grandmother, like working with family, like that's so taboo. But I think it's so much better.
Speaker 4:I agree. I mean, I've always my brother and I have like done some different businesses in the past, and he is always the person that I would love to start businesses with because I trust him more than anything else. Like I I'm not don't I will never split financial things with him or anything. I'm just like, let's just do it however it's done. Doesn't matter what's happening.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Okay. Now let's move on to our segment, the Grandma Report. Mhmm. So there's this article about why we keep watching reality dating shows.
Speaker 3:A BU sociologist say that people love aspirational romance and feel good escapism. And they also love predicting outcomes. So looking back at your season, do you think like, when you were there, did you feel like you knew who contestants would be rooting for or, like, attaching themselves to in that way?
Speaker 4:Honestly, no. I I I think I think everyone was so focused on their own experience
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:That, like, it's hard to think of who do we think is gonna be the most popular or anything. Like, you're just focused on your time
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:In the villa, making your connections, supporting your friends, doing whatever you can. Mhmm. So that really I don't think that crossed anyone's mind until the America voting challenge. Yeah. Then all
Speaker 3:of a was that into the game?
Speaker 4:I'm honestly not sure. But that, I think, was the only time that we really got to see some other kind of outside perspective. Yeah. But even then after that, I just carried myself with
Speaker 3:the same way
Speaker 4:that I wanted to carry myself.
Speaker 3:That's good. Do you think anyone changed up their ways? Like, I feel like especially with Amaya and I heard her saying like in podcast and things that she's been on, she was like, I for sure could tell once she was voted like top girl or whatever it was, that people were acting a little different toward her. Did you see that with your other? You're really focused on yourself.
Speaker 3:I'm so impressed.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I wasn't really focused on on anything else.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And
Speaker 4:and I didn't really notice that much of a of a difference, to be honest, in in how many was carrying themselves. Everyone was very focused on their their own experience too, at least from my side.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Okay. We have some questions from our listeners. So let's go through a few. Okay.
Speaker 3:Is it okay to go fifty fifty on everything with your boyfriend? Thoughts?
Speaker 4:I actually do have a have a very strong take on this. So I I believe that there's, like, really three things that you can invest in a relationship. There's time, money, and energy. And I think the fifty fifty should come across all three of those things.
Speaker 3:Love that.
Speaker 4:Sometimes people don't have the capacity to give a lot of money, but you can give time or energy. And I also think fifty fifty doesn't necessarily happen in a moment, but also over time. So as long as you're looking at it within those scales, I think you should be looking for an even relationship, but across those multiple dimensions. Otherwise, if you just limit it to money, then it's a financial relationship. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I guess it traditionally, like, it used to be a little bit more that way. Like, you go way back, like marriage was a business deal, and obviously, it's not like that today. I think my grandma typically is like the guy should pay for the date, and that's how she thinks of things.
Speaker 4:I think if you ask someone out on a date, you should definitely pay.
Speaker 3:I think you're right. It's the person who's doing the asking, which typically in like a heteronormative relationship, it's the guy at first, like making that first move. So I definitely feel that way, but I think you're so right, and I'm gonna go by that from now on. Because that is true. Like, there's so many things that go into a relationship, and
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:There should be energy and time from both sides as Yeah.
Speaker 4:It's like being intentional and investing the time into someone and really showing up on a date with, like, energy. Yep. It's like I'm like I will appreciate that so much more than splitting it fifty fifty. If you come with energy, like that's gonna be a way more enjoyable experience in my time too.
Speaker 3:So true. And like if there's a guy who comes in and is paying for everything, but he's not like mentally there and he doesn't give a fuck, like, you are gonna not be happy. Exactly. So, yeah. Everyone listen to that advice.
Speaker 3:That's very good. Okay. How this is a question about how to attract the best guy in the room. I don't know what the best even really means. But
Speaker 4:Best for you?
Speaker 3:Best for you. Like the one you want. How do you get his attention? I never found an answer for this one.
Speaker 4:What's your approach?
Speaker 3:I think my approach would be for the people I'm hanging out with, like, actually be present with them and like look like you're having a good time or actually have a good time because that energy is gonna like radiate off of you. And then hopefully, that guy comes over versus like, I still do this especially like, if I wanna meet a business person in the room or like whoever it is. Sometimes I stand around and I'm like thinking, how am I gonna go over to them? When is my time? And when you're doing that, you don't look approachable.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. So I think, like, actually have fun and don't even pay it too much attention. Or don't be scared and, like, go over to them. And I think that's attractive too sometimes to, like be open and nice and not play hard to get in that moment.
Speaker 4:For sure. I think both is honestly the answer. Like you should be having an enjoyable time and like I think that people will sense that in the room exactly like you said. Mhmm. But I also do think like for me it's like a instead of hesitating and thinking what you're gonna say, just count down three, two, one, and go over and start a conversation.
Speaker 4:And I think going in without any expectations of, oh, I need this to be like my person and Right. Exactly. Go have a conversation. See if you even enjoy it. I think so many people go in with like, I need to make them like me.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 4:You should be going in and seeing, do I actually like them? Am enjoying this conversation? Do I want it to continue when I like to go on a date with this person? If you haven't had a conversation, you don't know the answer
Speaker 3:to any
Speaker 4:of that. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Totally agree. Okay. Last one. Should I send a post breakup text?
Speaker 3:Not going to get back together, but just to say this meant a lot to me, etcetera.
Speaker 4:That's a hard one.
Speaker 3:I know. It and it's probably like, was the breakup amicable or was it like a whole blow up? Because that really matters.
Speaker 4:I
Speaker 3:think my immediate thing was like, it's done. It's deaded. Like, leave it. But also, I think if you're gonna think about it and ruminate on it for the next few weeks, like, just send the text. Don't even ask questions, but just be like, I'm sorry or not maybe not even I'm sorry, but, like, really, like, loved our time together and I wish you the best, like, short and sweet, but I don't think it's necessary.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I actually agree with you. I think, like, as much as possible, if you can resolve it yourself first through other different, like, modalities, journaling or meditating or talking to your therapist if you have one, I think those are, like, great ways to resolve it. Then if it's still something that's on your mind and you still don't feel resolved, then, yeah, do what you need to do that'll make you feel at peace and be able to move move forward. Right?
Speaker 4:Because that's the goal at the end of the day.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm feeling the, like, health and wellness radiating off of you now. Now, like, you're putting it to practice, and it's very valid, like, everything you're saying. Now, we are gonna end the episode with the Grandma Gail's old fashioned dating quiz. So it's a quick round of yes or no questions, we'll figure out whether you're more like traditional in dating or more modern when it comes to your thinking.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 3:Okay. Would you rather receive a call or a text from your partner if it's just to say hi?
Speaker 4:Call. Always.
Speaker 3:Okay. Would you sleep with someone on the first date? No. Dating apps or setups?
Speaker 4:Setups. I yeah. Setups for sure.
Speaker 3:Are you on apps? No. Okay. Never? Like even before?
Speaker 4:Like back when I was in college probably. But since then, no, I I'm very intentional with Yeah. I think like when you're dating, you I mean, you really have two options. Either you can just play the numbers game and go on as many dates as possible or you can be really intentional with your time. I care a lot about where I spend my time between the fitness stuff and the work and all the other things.
Speaker 4:Yep. But like, I would rather give less of my time to the right people than to give more of my time to everyone.
Speaker 3:I love that. I wish I thought that way, but when I was dating, I think I would go in like four or five dates a week just to be like, I'm meeting someone new. Like, I wasn't even really treating it as dating.
Speaker 4:And it's like shots on goal.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. But it's also like, I could have probably been spending the time doing things that I like to do, but I kinda do like to date. I no. Sorry to my boyfriend.
Speaker 4:No. I I I totally get that. My advice to friends when we talk about the same subject is like, if you're spending your time in places that you enjoy, be more present in those places and pay attention to the people that are around you because likely those will be better candidates for you to date than a random person on a dating app where you get to see three photos and three prompts.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Probably. Would you move in together before getting engaged or wait until, like, you're engaged or married to live together?
Speaker 4:I think moving in is an important step before you get married.
Speaker 3:Agreed. Should you ask for their parents' permission before getting engaged? Or is that outdated?
Speaker 4:I think it's a very nice thing to do. I I think that would be my approach.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Okay. Last one. Should you pick the ring before with your partner before engagement or, like, it's a surprise?
Speaker 4:I would probably at least try to get an idea of what they want Yeah. Before. I I love surprises, but, like, I also wanna make sure she's happy with it. And I gotta be honest, I don't know that much about raising. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Sure. I think you're definitely more traditional. Is that a surprise?
Speaker 4:No. I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think I like to take things slow.
Speaker 4:Like I was saying at the beginning, I'm a one person. Yeah. I don't dated multiple people at the same time.
Speaker 3:So I think a lot of people will be surprised to learn that about you just based off of The show. Get to know people.
Speaker 4:That's why it was a very interesting side quest for me. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you
Speaker 4:so much for having me.
Speaker 3:The reunion is August 25
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:9PM on Peacock. So since we didn't get all the details, we will have to all tune into that.
Speaker 4:Definitely tune into that.
Speaker 3:Can you tell people where they can find you, follow you?
Speaker 4:Yeah. On Instagram, it's elan dot bibas. Should I spell that
Speaker 3:out? Sure.
Speaker 4:E l a n dot b I b a s. And on TikTok, it's e m b I b a s.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Elan. This was so much fun. And thank you everyone for listening. Another great episode of Excuse My Grandma. We will see you next week.
Speaker 6:Spring just slid into your DMs. Grab that boho look for that rooftop dinner, those sandals that can keep up with you, and hang some string lights to give your patio a glow up. Spring's calling. Ross, work your magic.