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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome back to another episode of Happening in Upland, the only podcast brave enough to admit that living in the 'City of Gracious Living' mostly involves trying not to get a flat tire on Foothill Boulevard. I am Mark, your resident purveyor of deadpan disappointment. It is Wednesday, December 17, 2025, and I am joined, as always, by the melodic voice of misery herself. Joleen, you look like you have finally reached your limit with the holiday season, and it is only the middle of the month.
JOLEEN: Oh, Mark, you have no idea. I am currently operating on a diet of pure peppermint-flavored spite and eggnog that may or may not be 90 percent bourbon. My holiday spirit is basically just a very elegant way of saying I am waiting for January so I can stop pretending to like my neighbors. But hey, it is a beautiful day in Upland, right? The sun is shining, the mountains are visible because the smog took a nap, and someone probably got their catalytic converter stolen while we were recording this intro. It is lovely.
MARK: It is the Upland way, Joleen. You have to love a city that builds its identity on trees while the local government treats the budget like a game of Monopoly played by people who cannot read the instructions. We have a lot of shit to get through today. We are looking at why the City Council decided to take the rest of the year off, a very specific type of dental office burglary, and why you should probably sell your house right now if you want to afford a single-bedroom shack in a less stressful zip code. But first, let's talk about the fact that our leaders have basically checked out.
JOLEEN: Are we surprised? The Upland City Council basically said, 'Fuck it, we're done for 2025.' They had their meeting on the eighth, and they have officially cancelled the meeting for the twenty-second. Resolution Number 6520 is the formal way of saying they would rather be at home judging their family's gift-wrapping skills than listening to us complain about potholes. I mean, I respect the hustle. Why do the job you were elected for when you can just pass a resolution to stay on the couch? It is the most honest thing they have done all year.
MARK: It really is a bold move. They were probably looking at the agenda and realized that if they had to hear one more person talk about the Amazon Fresh project that still has not happened in the Upland Village Center, they would all collectively walk into traffic. Speaking of that Amazon project, it is still in that special kind of Upland limbo where nobody knows if it is actually coming or if it was just a fever dream we all had in 2023. At least the downtown revitalization is supposedly moving. We have these senior housing projects like Euclid Villas and Magnolia Villas that are supposed to start soon. I guess if you are a senior who likes watching cars sit in traffic on Euclid, you are in luck.
JOLEEN: It is charming, really. We are building workforce housing and senior units while the rest of us are wondering if the Packing House Apartments will ever actually get that construction financing. It is the classic Upland tease. They show you a shiny rendering of a nice building and then tell you, 'Sorry, the bank thinks Upland is a liability.' But hey, they are preparing for the Route 66 centennial in 2026. Assistant City Manager Stephen Parker is very excited about it. Apparently, 100 years of a road is worth more than a road that is actually drivable right now.
MARK: Priorities, Joleen. Why fix the present when you can celebrate the past? Speaking of the present, let's move to the crime report, because Upland has really outdone itself lately. We have to talk about the 'Mickey Bandits.' Two geniuses were arrested about a week and a half ago for breaking into a dental office. Most people steal equipment, drugs, or cash. These dickheads decided to take a Mickey Mouse stuffed animal. I am not making this up. The police found the doll in their SUV along with the usual meth pipes and burglary tools. It is like a gritty reboot of a Disney movie where the protagonists are just incredibly high on stimulants.
JOLEEN: I saw the footage, Mark. It is the most Upland crime ever. You risk a felony charge for a plush toy that has been sitting in a waiting room being sneezed on by toddlers for three years. That thing is a biohazard, not a trophy. But on a darker and much more 'provocative' note, as the kids say, we had reports from earlier this week, December 15, about some heavy-handed ICE activity. Social media was blowing up with videos of federal agents in tactical gear blocking a black Ford truck near Mountain and Foothill. They were apparently profiling gardeners across Upland, Claremont, and Montclair over the weekend. It is a nice reminder that while we're all arguing about Christmas lights, some people are just trying to get through a parking lot without being snatched.
MARK: Yeah, it is a real 'Welcome to the Inland Empire' moment. Nothing says holiday cheer like men in balaclavas jumping out of unmarked SUVs at 6:30 in the morning. It is a shitty situation, and it definitely kills the vibe of the 'Gracious Living' slogan when you realize that grace apparently does not apply if you drive a truck and have a lawnmower in the back. But hey, the Upland PD statistics say property crime is down 13 percent year over year. I assume that is because there is nothing left to steal that has not already been taken or bolted down. Or maybe everyone is just too tired from the commute to commit crimes.
JOLEEN: Oh, the commute is its own crime, Mark. Let's talk about the school district, because I know you love the youth of Upland. It is currently the week of December 17, which means Upland High is in that weird pre-winter break frenzy. Today, specifically, they have every club imaginable meeting. We have the KindQuest Club, the Latino Student Union, and the Thrift and Thread club all gathering. It is like a buffet of teenage social anxiety. I personally love the 'Link Crew Cocoa and Cram' session happening tomorrow. Nothing prepares you for the crushing weight of adult responsibility like drinking lukewarm chocolate and panicking about a math final you definitely did not study for.
MARK: I remember those days. Except my 'Cocoa and Cram' was just 'Coffee and Existential Crisis.' But let's look at the sports scene for our Highlanders. The boys' freshman soccer team is taking on Ganesha today at 3:15, and the girls' basketball teams are hosting Rosemead. If you want to see some actual effort in this city, go watch the kids play, because they are the only ones not currently phoning it in. The boys' basketball team is heading to Western Christian tomorrow, too. It is a busy week for them before they get to go home and ignore their parents for two weeks.
JOLEEN: Good for them. I hope they win, mostly so I do not have to hear any more stories about Highlander pride from people who graduated in 1984 and still wear their letterman jackets to the grocery store. You know who else is busy? The people building Two Frogs Cantina and Grill downtown. It is finally slated to open in January. I am actually looking forward to it, even though I will probably find something to complain about the minute I walk in. They are part of that Business Attraction and Assistance Program. Basically, the city is begging people to sell tacos downtown so it does not look like a ghost town after 6 PM.
MARK: The downtown scene is actually trying, which is cute. Studio Four29 is still the spot for American fusion if you want to feel like you are in a real city for an hour. And if you are feeling nostalgic for bad decisions, Curry House is gone. All of them. Shuttered. So if you were craving Japanese curry and spaghetti—which, let's be honest, is a cursed combination—you are out of luck. But we still have California Fish Grill on 19th if you want a piece of salmon that does not cost your entire soul.
JOLEEN: Speaking of things that cost your soul, let's talk about real estate. The median listing price in Upland this month is about 740,000 dollars. But if you actually want a house that does not have shag carpet from the Carter administration, you are looking at an average sales price of 863,500 dollars. It is a 'seasonal cooling' market, which is real estate speak for 'it is slightly less of a nightmare than it was in July.' Inventory is low, competition is still there, and the market is still leaning toward sellers. It is basically a big middle finger to anyone under the age of forty trying to buy a roof over their head.
MARK: It is insane. You pay nearly a million dollars for a stucco box and your reward is a front-row seat to the Foothill Boulevard Rehabilitation Project. This is the 13.2 million dollar project that started in October and is going to last until August 2026. They are doing everything from asphalt grinding to new landscaping between Benson and Euclid. It is a goddamn mess. If you enjoy sitting in your car staring at a guy holding a 'Slow' sign while you contemplate your life choices, Foothill is the place to be right now.
JOLEEN: I love that they call it 'rehabilitation.' It sounds like the road went to a 12-step program because it was addicted to destroying our suspensions. They are doing water pipeline work, too, so do not be surprised if your water tastes like progress for a few days. The city says they are 'committed to minimizing disruptions,' which is the funniest joke I have heard all week. You cannot tear up the main artery of a city and not expect people to lose their fucking minds. But hey, it is for the centennial! We need that road to look perfect for the three people who are going to drive a vintage Ford Model T on it next year.
MARK: Exactly. We are suffering now for the sake of a parade that will happen in eight months. It is the Upland way. Now, if you are looking for things to do this weekend to escape the construction noise, there is some holiday shit happening. The 'Home for the Holidays' decorating contest is in full swing. If you drive around north Upland, you can see people spending enough on electricity to power a small country just so they can have a plastic Santa that pees light. It is beautiful, in a tacky, capitalist sort of way.
JOLEEN: It really is. And for those of you with kids or a very strange hobby, there is a Breakfast with Santa at Ontario Mills this Saturday morning. It is close enough to count. Or you can head to Claremont on Christmas Eve to see 'Fiddler on the Roof' at the Laemmle. Because nothing says 'Merry Christmas' like a musical about religious persecution and the crumbling of tradition. It is the perfect upbeat activity for my cynical heart. Also, don't forget the New Year's Eve Gatsby Gala at Pomona Valley Mining Co. if you want to pay too much money to pretend you are a wealthy bootlegger before reality hits you on January first.
MARK: I will stick to my couch and a bottle of something cheap, thanks. Now, for the weather. This week is actually kind of a dickhead. Today and tomorrow are going to be weirdly warm. We are looking at highs near 78 today and possibly hitting 83 on Thursday. It is mid-December and I am considering turning on the air conditioning. It is offensive. But don't get too comfortable, because the atmosphere is going to bi-polar its way into a mess by next week. Friday and Saturday will stay in the low 70s, but come Christmas Eve next Wednesday, the forecast is calling for rain and a high of only 62. So if you were planning a backyard party, you might want to buy a tent or just cancel and tell everyone you have COVID again.
JOLEEN: Rain on Christmas Eve? That is just God's way of telling Upland that we have been naughty. Or maybe it is just the weather. Either way, it is going to be chilly and wet, which means everyone will forget how to drive even more than they usually do. Expect the 210 and the 10 to be absolute parking lots. It is going to be glorious. I cannot wait to watch the chaos from my window while I drink my spiked cocoa and laugh at the world.
MARK: You are a ray of sunshine, Joleen. Truly. That is our show for today. If you actually enjoyed this, or if you just like hearing us talk shit about the city we live in, please like, subscribe, and leave a comment. We want to know if the Mickey Bandit is actually your cousin or if you have a favorite pothole on Foothill. You can reach us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com if you have any tips or if you want to send us money for our therapy bills.
JOLEEN: Yes, please subscribe. It is the only way I can afford the premium bourbon for my eggnog. Stay safe Upland, watch out for the guys in balaclavas, and try not to let the holiday spirit turn you into a complete asshole. We will be back next week to discuss whatever other nonsense this city throws at us. Merry whatever-you-celebrate, and good fucking luck with the traffic.
MARK: Good luck indeed. See you next time.