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Welcome to Birth, Baby!, your go-to podcast hosted by Ciarra Morgan and Samantha Kelly, seasoned birth doulas and childbirth educators from Austin, Texas. Join us as we navigate the intricate journey of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum care, offering invaluable insights and expert advice. Through candid interviews, personal anecdotes, and evidence-backed content, we aim to empower families with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions. Whether you're seeking guidance on prenatal care, birth planning, or navigating the early days with your newborn, we've got you covered. Tune in to Birth, Baby! and embark on your parenthood journey with confidence.
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Welcome, this is Birth, Baby!
Your hosts are Ciarra Morgan and Samantha Kelly.
Ciarra is a birth doula, hypnobirthing educator and pediatric sleep consultant.
Samantha is a birth doula, childbirth educator and lactation counselor.
Join us as we guide you through your options for your pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey.
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Hey, everybody, it is a week of Birth Stories, so we get to chat with Cory.
And Cory was one of our Birth Doula clients, kind of close to when Samantha and I started our partnership.
And we're excited for her to share her wild ride of a pregnancy and birth story with us.
So thanks for being here today, Cory.
Thank you for having me.
A wild ride, it was indeed.
Well, we're excited to relive it with you.
It's always fun to look back and see it through your eyes.
So to start us off, can you tell us about your journey to getting pregnant and what those early days of pregnancy were like for you?
Yeah, so I have autoimmune disorders.
So I think it was like August of 2022, I went to my doctor, was having some health issues, and I told her I want to get pregnant.
So I want to kind of get my body ready for that.
And my doctor flat out said, you shouldn't even try to get pregnant.
You're never going to be able to carry a child, nor should you have a child.
And that right there was, I had always had issues with the medical community, but that right there was kind of another big eye opener.
So fired that doctor, found a functional medicine doctor who was able to explain to me, just because you're autoimmune doesn't mean that you can't have children or that you should not even try.
So we did some Dutch tests, we looked into my cortisol levels were super high, my DHEA was too low.
So at that time, carrying a child was not going to be easy.
So I worked with her for six months, and we were able to get all of my levels optimal.
And I think a lot of women don't look into preconception health, they want to fix their problems once they're pregnant.
And you all know when you have a child, the last thing you want is to be unhealthy when you're pregnant, because it's too hard to change things at that point.
So from August till April, we worked on supplements, sleep, diet, a cut back on drinking, really kind of put my full health and life kind of in the forefront.
And it was the best decision I ever made.
So I went from being told that I could never get pregnant to Zach and I on the first try getting pregnant, which was mind blowing.
We ended up miscarrying that first baby, but based on everything that happened, it seemed like it was just not a healthy egg pregnancy.
Progesterone levels dropped, a bunch of things happened.
So it wasn't my autoimmune, it was just kind of one in those one in four that the pregnancy doesn't work out.
And funny enough, after miscarried, I was told it was shocking that I got pregnant at all because I have seven fibroids.
One of them located...
Yeah, one of them located directly in the middle of my uterus, and they said they're shocked that the baby attached at all.
And that I would need to have surgery to remove the fibroids before I could even attempt to get pregnant.
And if you've ever been through a miscarriage, it's traumatizing on the body.
It's a lot.
And I was polled and polled after that.
And I told Zach, I was like, I do not want to have surgery.
It's just the last thing that I want to do.
And my doctor said, if you get pregnant, it's not going to hurt the pregnancy, but I'm going to tell you right now, if having a baby in the near future is what you want, this surgery is absolutely needed.
So I told Zach, we have one last shot.
We had surgery scheduled for Friday, and I found out on Wednesday I was pregnant.
So crazy.
And that's when you guys come in.
Insert Ciarra and Samantha.
It's so fun going back and listening to these stories and processing these with you guys when you come on and do the podcast with us, because some of the stuff we don't ever hear about from you guys.
Some of it beforehand, before us, we may have heard bits and pieces, but we don't hear the whole story in linear fashion like this.
And so if you watch this on YouTube, you'll see our eyes open wide.
We're actually surprised about something.
We're not faking it.
Some of this is brand new information to us too.
So, okay.
So then they were like, well, we're just gonna continue our pregnancy with fibroids.
Yeah, so they basically were like, it doesn't make you higher risk.
It is something that we need to monitor.
The, I think six of them are fairly small.
There was one that was literally located directly in the middle of my uterus.
That is on the larger side.
But they said the baby latched, levels are good.
There's nothing that we need.
We're not gonna make this a huge concern.
We will watch it.
We'll check on it every, you know, checkup, but everything looks healthy.
So there's no reason that this should cause issues.
And if it does, then, you know, we'll address that if we need to.
And I think it just, I ended up having an anterior placenta where it was latched on the back wall, which made sense because the front end of my uterus was where that fibroid was.
Okay, so I think that would be a posterior placenta, which, so it was like on the opposite side.
So baby was just chilling between them.
And what, okay, so you had fired your original OB.
Now you have a functional medicine doctor, and now you're like, okay, well, you need an OB, or did you already have one at this point?
I didn't fire my OB.
I fired my regular doctor, my everyday doctor that I went.
I wasn't even really seeing an OB before all that.
I had one here and there, but I was never like set with someone.
And then I was recommended the OB that I had from when I got pregnant, miscarried, and pregnant again.
And so how was that pregnancy like?
So I kind of had to tie to this OB because I went through the miscarriage and the hormones and bedside manner was fabulous.
She was so supportive, so great, told me everything that I wanted to hear.
And when I got pregnant the second time, I had always wanted a natural birth.
I had looked into it a lot after my whole autoimmune issue and being told I couldn't get pregnant, I very much went to the more nature path kind of side.
And I had been down that road previously with my autoimmune issues years prior.
But I had never really thought about it for birth.
You know, you always hear everyone just getting inductions and epidurals.
And something to me was just like, I watched my sister go through a traumatic birth.
And that was when I was like, I don't want this for myself.
And that's when I really looked in to all these things.
And I was like, I'll have a regular OB, but I'm definitely going to get doulas to kind of have them on my team so that I can, you know, fight the fight if I need to.
But I was very open with my doctor from day one.
I want a natural birth.
I want zero interventions.
I want nothing put in my body that's unnatural during pregnancy.
That means Rhogam shots, that means vaccines, that means I want this to be as holistic and natural as possible.
And I'm still coming to a regular OB and not a midwife because this is kind of my brain trying to be comfortable with something that's kind of outside of my complete norm.
Like, I want a home birth one day, but I wasn't mentally ready for that with the first baby.
I have a lot of anxieties and things like that.
So in my mind, this was how I get the best of both worlds.
I have a dog that's going to support me, and then I'm going to have doulas that are there to back me.
Okay, so before this, before we forgot on, I was like, Samantha, it's always a little nerve wracking when we do these with people, because sometimes we forget pieces of it.
And Samantha goes, you know, me too.
But then every time, because I was the one at the birth, spoiler alert.
But every time we do one, you know, Samantha was like with one of her people that she was with, it starts coming back to you as you talk.
That's what's happening to me right now, because I have a flashback to you cold called me one day, and I was in my son's playroom with him, with him making a racket in the background.
I answered the phone, I don't know why, to a number that I did not know.
And you're sitting here telling me all these things, and I was like, okay, wait, the doctor that you have is not in alignment with what you're telling me you want.
And you're like, no, but Ciarra, I love her.
Like I had a miscarriage with her, she was wonderful.
And I'm like, you are, I don't think everyone should have an out of hospital birth, but I'm telling you right now, like that's what you're saying is gonna be very hard to have in a hospital setting.
And you said, no, but that's why I need you.
I was like, yeah, but we don't make the choices for you.
Like we're not gonna fight the doctor for you.
And like, no, no, it's fine.
Like I told her everything that I want, and she's fine with it.
And I said, all right, but I'm telling you, this practice that you're with is known for a little bit of a bait and switch where they are really cool with everything for a while.
And then around 36 weeks, they start changing their tune.
And giving you excuses as to why those things they agreed to before no longer apply to you and are no longer safe.
And so I think that was the point where like, well, I am going to take your hypno-birthing classes.
Like you wanted to take classes.
I remember you literally, you were like, you are such an anomaly to me.
You were like, do you understand what you're doing, going to this specific clinic and wanting this?
You were like, it's complete opposite of what you were saying and what you were doing.
And I think as a first time mom, you just, you don't know until you know.
Like you have to go through the process because, and I've talked to a lot of girls, I've actually gone to lunches with quite a few people who somehow, I didn't even really post a lot on my Instagram about my birth, but somehow it's been through the grapevine, girls have heard about my birth story and they have reached out and I tell them all these things and then I end up hearing their birth story and it didn't go as planned.
And I'm like, what you want and what you're doing are two completely different things and I did the same exact thing.
And a lot of them don't have doulas and I kind of have to tell them like, if you're gonna do it with this clinic, you have to do a doula and you also have to know that it's not going to be perfect because the doulas only have so much power.
Without them, my birth would have looked drastically different and I would have had a very poor outcome.
But at the same time, like you have to know what you're getting into when you go with this specific group of OBs.
Yeah, like let's go in with our eyes wide open and prepared.
So what happens is people, when we give them this honest warning, and your practice is not the only one that we give this warning about, but there are some and we don't think all OBs are bad.
There are just different ways on the spectrum of where they lie in their practices.
And people often think we're either kind of being snobby and we don't like it.
And so we just don't want to work with them.
Or they think we just think all OBs are bad.
And that's not true either.
And so, we had this conversation with you and you were like, I'm not switching.
And I just loved you.
Like, there was something wrong.
And honestly, we won't take, we don't take anyone with that practice anymore.
But-
You told me that too, you were like, mind you, we don't typically expect people that use this practice because of our past experiences.
And I remember you saying, there's just something about you, and I want to help you.
And I just feel like things are going to be really bad if you don't have some outside guidance.
Like, I remember that conversation.
And I was like-
Yeah, and what I was worried about was, I knew that with the autoimmune stuff, you just needed to be in the hospital.
You felt safer.
And I agreed with you, that if I was going through the same things that you had, I would also want to be in a hospital.
And at that point, there weren't a whole lot of options for OB practices.
There were a couple, but they've all changed quite a bit since you had your baby.
And so we were like, whatever.
I mean, she's not going to switch.
We can't make her switch.
Maybe along the line, she will and will cheer, but we're going to support her through this process and Zach through this process.
So along the line where, so you did take our hypnobirthing classes and you were hilarious.
You were so passionate.
I felt like you could have taught the class and Zach was just like rolling his eyes and smiling.
Like, yep, that's my wife.
He's falling asleep during the hypno parts.
Like, and being so proud of himself that, see, I can get relaxed.
You need to learn.
So where in your pregnancy were you like, because I know at one point you were, what kind of happened where you're like, okay, well, maybe I should have switched, but it's kind of too late, but here we go.
I think it came, throughout the process, it was fine.
Up to 20 weeks, everything was great.
It came later in the pregnancy when we had the whole, because I'm B-negative blood, I have to get the Rhogam shot.
And also they kept pushing for the Tdap and the flu shot.
So mind you, I had reactions to the flu shot in college and had to take almost a month off of school because I had a very, very bad reaction.
They thought I had cancer.
They thought I had lymphoma.
I had a crazy experience with the, is it the bird flu or the swine flu shot?
Swollen lymph nodes, tongue swollen.
And I mean, I lost 15 pounds a week and a half.
Body was not good.
And since then with my autoimmune, I just kind of stay away personally from those things because I have had injuries to a vaccine.
And so I was very clear that I'm not comfortable doing that when I'm pregnant, when I know what it has done to me in the past.
And they said from the beginning that they respected that decision, and it was my choice, and they gave me a pamphlet.
And I was like, I've already done my research.
I've done a lot of research on it.
And this is personally what is right for me in my pregnancy and my child.
And the next three appointments, they kept pushing the flu shot, the Tdap shot and the Rhogam shot.
And I was like, thought we understood.
This is not up for debate anymore.
I went and I went to your websites and I read it and I asked questions and I'm still very confident in the decisions that I have made and I hope that you respect that.
And I remember that having those conversations with you because you really were, sometimes we have people who are making decisions based on something their mom's sister's friend told them.
And then we have people that are really digging into the research and you definitely fell into that latter group.
You were doing a lot of research.
You asked us to send more articles on all of these things.
You were getting things from your doctor on reading up on it.
And so it wasn't like you were coming into this decision just all willy nilly frou frou.
It was a really evidence-based decision that you were making based on your own needs.
Well, and it was like, I don't think the doctor understood that I wasn't just going off of things that I see on Instagram or here or whatever.
It was very particular to me and what my body needed and what I wanted for my pregnancy and my baby.
And I think the Rhogam shot was the start to a lot of it because y'all helped me find articles.
I researched, I went to her because I won't get into the whole Rhogam, what I found, but she ended up basically telling me that I was right and that she agreed, but then ended the message with, I still believe you should get the shot.
And I was like, so we have all this information, you're agreeing with me, but your final no is that you still believe that I need to get it prior to giving birth.
And that's when I was like, okay, we're not on the same page, even with scientific evidence, blatantly in front of us.
You're still pushing for something just because it's either what you've been taught or what's been pushed or whatever the reason being, and then also lied.
Like she said that not getting Rogan could affect my current pregnancy.
When we know for a fact, it affects future pregnancies.
It cannot affect the current baby.
The whole disease tied to having negative blood.
So that's when that lie happened, and I was like, but it can't affect the current pregnancy, it affects my future pregnancies.
And I've had a miscarriage, and my full focus is not on what's going to happen in the future, it's this baby, as I'm protecting this baby at all costs.
And if there are consequences in the future for my next pregnancy, that is something that Zach and I will address when we get there.
But I still stand firm in my decision to do what I did.
And so I think that's when I kind of was like, did I make a big mistake here?
So that was the start of kind of the unraveling, and that was at 28 weeks, and then we addressed it again at 30 and 32 weeks.
And from then on out, it was kind of like, she started to treat me differently.
Our meetings weren't as friendly.
They were kind of tight short.
Anytime I had questions, you could tell there was frustration on her end.
And I don't think she liked being questioned.
I think they're just used to patients coming in and just, yep, yep, yep, let's do cervical checks.
Let's do this, let's do that, yada, yada, yada.
And because I started to question things, I wasn't questioning her.
I was questioning data and research, and she didn't like that.
And that's when I was like, okay, giant red flag.
You know, she felt a big disconnect.
She was like, oh, we are severed now.
This is irreconcilable differences, divorce kind of deal.
And I remember being really frustrated for you because for those listening, especially if you're a prospective client of ours, we have clients on all sides of the spectrum.
We have people who want to sign up for an induction and they want an epidural the moment they fill their first wave.
And we have people who want a home birth with a midwife that is completely hands off and it's almost like a free birth.
They're only there for emergency.
And so, and everything in between.
So, would I get the Rhogam shot myself with my first pregnant?
Probably, but did I want you to have the right to not get it and not be hassled about it?
Yeah.
And so, you know, that is what doulas are supposed to do is we're supposed to help you and support you and what you're choosing, and then you would come to us.
And it made our jobs a thousand times harder because here we are, not in a mean way to you, but that's part of it is like, how many phone calls a week are we fielding with you being so frustrated and upset?
And you're sending us evidence and us research.
Or we would be like, this girl is hilarious because we respected you so much that you were not just a sheep that was gonna follow and do what was told, that you were making decisions for yourself and your baby and your body.
And I remember just feeling like really sad for you because I wanted this doctor to turn out the way she said she was going to.
I wanted, like even though I knew it probably wouldn't happen, we were rooting for that.
Yeah, and it's again, it's like my story is not gonna be the same as everyone's, but if this is kind of the path that you want and you wanna have medical freedom and you wanna be able to make choices that not everyone else agrees upon or wants to make, going to clinics like these are not, it's not in your best interest because they're not willing to listen.
And I was like, I know that what I'm deciding is not the norm.
I know I'm the 0.5% that are declining X, Y and Z, but I have my reasons for why I'm doing it.
And if it's something that I regret in the future, that's something that I will live with, but I'm standing my ground on what I believe to be right in this moment.
And I got dismissed so many times before she would even listen.
And it was once I sent her that one article that I had kind of, you guys had sent me, and then I took a further review is when she said, you're right.
But, and I was like, okay, so it doesn't matter anything that you're not gonna support me whatsoever.
And I know as doctors, they have their legality and they have to protect themselves.
But from then on out, it was basically our relationship changed very much so.
And any questions I had were no longer the good side, bad side, they were like, oh, totally fine to ask.
It was just kind of like, no, hmm.
Well, it just, there was a different tone and then there was appointments.
And it was kind of like, it was sad, because I did, I did love her.
And when you're that close to giving birth, when you're about eight weeks out, the hormones are through the roof.
And then I started questioning myself and doubting myself and had to go through this whole thing of, Cory, you did the research before you got pregnant.
You're doing it while you got pregnant.
You made your decision.
Don't feel like you should, there should be scared tactics to do things that you don't want to do.
Because it's first, it's going to be this shot, then it's going to be induction, then it's going to be C-section.
It's going to be a bunch of things.
So you know what you wanted out of this birth and I'll continue on that path moving forward.
I remember a conversation with you, gosh, it was right around 36 weeks probably.
When we were on the phone and you were like, this is messed up.
Like I'm 36 weeks pregnant, I get it now, Ciarra.
When you are this hormonal and this pregnant and all you want is a healthy baby, and someone's telling you these things, all of a sudden you start questioning myself.
I'm mad that I'm questioning myself.
Like you were so emotional about it and your husband was so supportive.
He was like, don't question yourself.
You already, you knew what you were doing.
He was so, so supportive.
And you were like, if I didn't have doulas that were saying, you're not crazy, and a husband that was already on board, because by the way, not all partners agree with what you're deciding, you know?
And you were like, I get it.
This is why you said this.
And like, hi, at 36 weeks, we're stuck.
Like, I mean, there are things you can do, but it's really hard.
And we addressed the options because then at that point, that's when I was declining cervical checks and that didn't go over well.
So it was like, I declined this shot.
I declined cervical checks.
I was still going forward.
And then I think it was around, it was at my 40 week checkup is when things really hit the fan.
And that is not a time for things to hit the fan.
That was, I went in and you guys said, Cory, prepare for, my due date was May 31st.
And y'all said, prepare for the baby to come around June 10th or June 11th.
First time pregnancy is 41 weeks and three days.
That's pretty standard.
And so I went in with my little evidence and all my studies about, you know, how long it takes for first time moms to be pregnant and all the things.
And at that appointment, I agreed to a cervical check, which I do regret doing.
But I think in that mind, I just wanted to hear the news or the news that like, I was dilating her, I was already in labor, and I didn't, you know, there's some sort of something that you're grasping on to with these doctors.
It was like, I wanted to get her approval on something, and it turned out you're not dilated at all.
We're at 40 weeks, and this is, we need to schedule your induction.
And I literally look at Zach and I'm like, what?
It's two weeks prior to that, they were saying my baby was gonna be 10 pounds and possibly too large.
And then at this appointment, she did the stomach feel and said, I think the baby's only six pounds.
And I think she's still gonna be too big for you to give birth.
And I'm like, huh?
Wait, my baby lost four pounds in two weeks?
And now she's scientifically how that works, of course.
We put baby on a diet and-
And originally-
We're laughing because this is wild.
Like, we're just pulling stuff out of a hat at this point, and we're like, hey, let's tell her this one.
Like, let's spin the wheel of the options, of the things that we can say.
And Zach literally goes, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Two weeks ago, the baby was 10 pounds, and we needed to be induced because the baby was too big.
And she could give birth to a 10 pound baby.
Now, the baby's lost four pounds, and it's four pounds smaller, but you're saying Cory's too small to give birth vaginally.
And that we need to start the induction process and do all this.
And then that's when the word C-section came up, and she said, I'm fine with us trying for you to give vaginally, but you need to mentally be prepared that this is a C-section baby.
And it was like with laughter.
Raising my blood pressure, just remembering it.
Yes, and here's the thing that I think that people listening or haven't experienced this need to know, because we actually recently did an episode called Cervical Exams and explained when they are beneficial and when they're not.
And one of them is, if you're going to need to be induced, then they can see what medication they need to start with based on the state of your cervix, but that otherwise it's not a crystal ball and it doesn't matter.
So if you haven't gone back, go back and listen to that episode if you haven't already.
But here's one of the other risks that I don't even think we mentioned in our podcast, is this doctor placed her fingers in your vagina, felt around, saw if your cervix was dilated or not.
It wasn't.
Whether it was hot or soft, it was hard.
She knew an induction would not be very successful at that point, because if you do the math on the little calculator they use, it's not ideal.
It's called a Bishop score.
And so, but she now has felt inside your vagina, so now she can say your pelvis feels really small.
When, before she had never felt it, so she couldn't, she wouldn't have been able to say that and be honest, or at least like you'd be like, you never felt in there, how do you know?
Well, now she's, well, I felt in there, and you feel like you have a very small pelvis.
And so this is this baby, no matter how small it is, probably can't get out.
And you're right, it's freaking whiplash.
And it's not fair when you're a pregnant hormonal, 40 week pregnant woman.
And thank God your husband's not pregnant because he was a little bit, he doesn't have all those hormones running through there.
He's almost like laughing.
And I start bawling my eyes out because all the hormones, at 40 weeks you're ready for baby to come.
You're so excited.
Every day, I'm anxiously waiting to go into labor and experience, this is going to experience, be like, we got through all these other hurdles.
I feel so mentally ready to give birth the way that I want to, and experience going into labor and all the things.
And I'm being told induction date needs to be scheduled, Cytotec needs to be given X, Y, and Z, and that I need to accept that this is most likely a C-section, but they're willing to let me try vaginally.
And all of this was happening on your due date.
Like this was on your due date, because I'm actually looking at our text messages right now because I was trying to remember the timeline of what was happening.
On your due date, she says, you're not dilated, so your baby's not going to drop, your pelvis is too small, blah, blah, blah.
And I remember there was also a huge discussion around how far they would let you go up to 42 weeks because you really wanted to give yourself as much time as possible to go into labor.
And up until 36 weeks, she had been really chill with that and like, yeah, yeah, you can totally go to 42.
Like 41 and five, we might talk about getting you scheduled for something to come in and start the process, but 42 weeks is great.
And then at 36 weeks, it was like a really sudden firm shift of absolutely not.
You cannot go past 41 weeks.
What is the sound effect?
It wouldn't work?
That's what happened.
Only one, it was like 40 in two days.
It was literally, I'm not even letting you go to 41.
I think the induction was scheduled for 40, 40 weeks and five days.
And that's because I told her I would not book it.
She wanted me to book, I think that was like a Monday and she wanted me to book for Wednesday and I said, I'm not doing it.
They can call, I'm not going to schedule it.
And so she agreed that she would allow me to go to 40 weeks and five days.
They called, I never scheduled an induction.
I was like, and keep calling.
Yeah, and the fact that you're having to argue like this is making it even less likely that you're going to go into spontaneous labor because you're sitting there in fight or flight feeling like you're having to explain every little thing.
You're fighting tooth and nail constantly.
You're no is not being respected.
And so you're never being allowed to just settle in and enjoy these last couple of weeks of pregnancy.
You're sitting there having to advocate the heck out of everything.
And I remember feeling the phone call from you guys after you left that appointment, you're crying.
Zach's going, why are you crying?
You knew she was going to say this.
What are you upset about?
Like we knew going into this, that this is what she was going to say.
Why are we surprised?
And I was like, okay, but it's okay to be sad.
The whole point is Zach's like on his phone, she's being like, yep, we're going to have to use Cytotec, we're going to have to induce.
And Zach's just on his phone like, mm-hmm, yeah.
And I'm like crying.
And he's like, why are you listening to her?
Yeah, he was like on her top.
This doesn't, and as soon as we walked out, he said, Ciarra and Samantha literally told you that this was going to happen.
Why are you even phased by what she is saying?
We knew that this would happen.
He goes, I just let her talk and talk.
And he was like, you were trying to argue with her.
And he was like, let him talk.
Let him schedule the induction.
We're not going to show up.
It literally doesn't matter.
And the lesson here is that you early in pregnancy thought, it's not going to bother me.
I know she's wrong.
But then when you were this pregnant, even though you knew, even though you walked through that door knowing she was going to say that, you had your warning and you trusted us.
You, like, it wasn't like you were saying, you guys are wrong about my provider.
It was just, I'm still going to do it because I don't really have a whole lot of other choice and this is just what I've decided and I'm sticking with it, which is fine.
You're educated.
You wanted to say it wasn't going to matter and you walked through the door and you heard it anyway.
It did matter.
And you were like pissed that it mattered.
Well, when you're 40 weeks pregnant, as a, especially first time mom, all you care about is your baby being safe.
That is the most, I mean, that's any pregnant mom's priority, but when you're that pregnant and that hormonal, and you don't, there's still so much unknown because you've never gone through labor or anything and you hear those words.
To any mom who thinks that they're not going to feel that way, I was so prepared.
I went in there knowing my last three appointments were not good, that we left feeling like our time was cut short and the atmosphere was no longer this happy-go-lucky.
It was a very kind of short, passive-aggressive.
And I knew going into that appointment that that was what was going to happen.
And somehow, I still was able, she was still able to hit me where it hurt and break my heart and break me and cry and question everything that I had ever planned to do.
And I walked out, and then once we walked out and we got to the car and I was like, how the hell did they just do that?
How did they just make me feel this way?
It was truly a shocking experience to go through because I was so prepared and the hormones to me and they played me.
Say that right now.
I think that is the biggest takeaway from your whole story is it does not matter how educated you are.
It doesn't matter how prepared you think you are for what they're going to say.
You know you're going to disagree and you're like, not going to bother me.
Water off my back and you go in and it hits you.
And I think that that is what, honestly, not everyone is as prepared as you.
Not everyone is as educated as you.
And not everyone's as ready to hear those things.
So imagine someone that wasn't as prepared as you, how even harder that they would be taking that because then they're scared, right?
They're like hearing risk of stillbirth increases.
They're hearing C-section, your pelvis is too small.
Then they go into labor, if they do, or get induced.
And then they're shutting down in their brain because they're already hearing small pelvis, small pelvis in the back of their brain.
I've had this happen many times with moms where we still had a vaginal birth, maybe even a second baby.
I've heard this baby's too big.
I'm thinking of one in particular at the beginning of this year.
And she even said, they got me.
They got to me.
And nothing we do can undo that, you guys.
Like, it doesn't matter how great you do it is, we can try, but, you know, the...
Sorry, I'm going to cut you off.
That wasn't there to be the supportive husband of Cory.
We went through the hip no-birthing class.
We've talked to the doulas.
They prepared us.
Go back and read the text messages.
They literally forewarned you that this was going to happen at this appointment.
We are sticking to our ground.
The baby was fine.
The heartbeat was fine.
For size, they don't know what the heck you're talking about.
It changes every single week.
You are prepared for this.
You know what you want.
Just take a breath.
But I think a lot of husbands are not as involved in the process as Zach was.
And had he not been that way, he might have persuaded me as in, maybe we need to listen to her, for the sake of the baby and for the health of the baby.
Because it's also scary for dads hearing, oh, you're putting your baby at risk.
You're putting your own life at risk.
Like that is, as a partner, that is terrifying to hear.
So the fact that he was able to keep his head on straight through all of that, and he, you know, I mean, that's just classic Zach.
He was just on his phone and be like, yeah, okay, whatever.
Like that's-
He's like, are you serious right now?
When we walked out, he was like, why are you?
And then he, of course, he's so sweet.
He was like, you don't need to cry.
But when we first walked out, he's like, are you serious?
Did she really just get to you?
Zach isn't here, but he would like us to tell everyone that he is the best partner.
We've been on 49, I think 54 hours of labor.
It was a lot.
Okay, so tell us about it.
How did it start?
What did you end up doing?
So we ignored the doctor.
We talked about firing, getting a midwife.
We had all the things.
We had a plan in play.
And so I left talking to you guys.
We knew induction was off the table, unless I got to, you know, I said, I'll give it to 41 and five.
I don't want to make it the full 42, but like if we don't have a baby by June 11th, then I'm okay that my path was just different and we can do membrane sweeps or whatever the natural way of induction would be to start.
Well, that was so Memorial Day weekend passed.
I'm out enjoying life, swimming, bouncing on my ball, just going about life.
I actually went and got one of those acupuncture foot massages, and I told them, please go heavy on the pressure point that induces the labor.
And they went hard.
And that night, and I was drinking my raspberry tea and eating the dates and doing all the things that we learned to help and all the other things that I won't discuss on here that help induce labor.
That night, I woke up around 1 a.m.
to some cramping.
And mind you, I had already had, is it prodromal labor?
Is that how you say it, prodromal?
Prodromal.
Prodromal labor.
I said it was there for that one on Cinco de Mayo.
I had contractions that were like two minutes apart, but it was wild.
I was worried about that too.
That was kind of weird.
Yeah, literally, the doctor and Sam were like, these contractions are very, very close, but you're not inactive labor.
This is horrible for how close the contractions were.
So that happened at 1 a.m., and I just thought it's probably just, it doesn't feel like Braxton Hicks, but it's probably just another false labor.
I'm going to do what the doula said.
I went and ate some protein snack of some sort, and I went to bed.
And at that point, contraction or waves were about 20 minutes apart, but they were so mild, more mild than period cramps.
So I was like, this is nothing.
Went to sleep.
Woke up at 3.
They were a little bit stronger, a little bit closer, but at that point, I wasn't really timing them because they were so far apart.
There was no point of getting in my head about timing them.
So drank a lot of water, went back to sleep.
The next morning, I have a picture.
I took a picture and my stomach had dropped.
We went from carrying super high to like, it was in my pelvis.
And I look in the mirror and I go, huh, that's new.
And it looked like it was straight.
And again, waves were probably like 10 to 12 minutes apart that whole morning, and Zach and I were cooking pancakes, and I literally flipped a pancake, and I felt this sharp pain, like a hunch over pain, and all of a sudden a waterfall just flooded in the kitchen.
And I was like, I think my water just broke.
And Zach's like, what?
And I'm like running to the bathroom, and it's just water, water.
It's like what you see in movies, which I know is not the most normal way for your waters to break, but it was not stopping.
And so I think I texted Dylan, I was like, I think my water just broke, and y'all were like, are you sure you didn't see yourself?
Because that happens a few times at the end, and I was like, no, no, no, it's like a flood.
Like, it won't, you can see the vernix, the white tissue.
Like, I was like, this is my water breaking.
So contractions were about eight minutes apart at that time.
And so y'all were just like, just hang out, you know, eat your breakfast, Zach, don't go to work, like stay close by.
But the big Sam ended up calling me and was like, hey, because your water is basically just flooding out of you, that tells me one thing, that the baby's head is not fully in the pelvis or in position, either it's turned somewhere.
So we need to get you on the, was it the mile circuit?
What is it called?
Yeah, the mile circuit.
I think we talked about some balancing to like get baby feeling good, you make some room in your body, and then the mile circuit to really jam that kid down there.
So we're doing the mile circuit and it was still, I had to wear like a diaper because there was every time a wave would come, water would come with it.
It was a true wave.
It was wave with water.
So and that was that my water broke at noon.
We labored at home.
It was fine.
I'm bouncing on a ball.
I have videos of my sister curling my hair because little did I know what was about to take place in the next two days.
But I'm like, oh, let's like make me look pretty while I'm giving birth for all the cute photos.
And I'm just in this very blissful state.
And everything is really good at home.
And then I made the biggest mistake of going to the hospital that night.
So and I think to part of the reason I think after my miscarriage, I had a lot of anxieties of just I kept waiting for the shoe to drop on this pregnancy for something to just go wrong.
And I had like a panic attack mid labor, not because of the waves, not because of pain, not because of anything other than I felt like I couldn't feel Sutton moving.
And my view that was super normal for my pregnancy because I had the placenta on the back end, the position she was in my fibroids.
I had a lot of pillows that were blocking movements and I would go hours without feeling her and it was normal.
But I remember I had to call Samantha and I was like, I'm freaking out right now.
I haven't felt her move in like two hours.
Is that normal?
And Sam was very calm.
She was like, labor shouldn't make the baby not, you not feel the baby.
But there's a million things that could be going on.
It might just be anxiety.
Go hop in the shower.
Get, you know, take a warm shower.
Get in the bath.
Do you think relax?
And the second I did that, she starts fluttering and kicking and doing all the crazy things and I could breathe again.
But that's when the anxiety that I wasn't expecting kind of started to sit in.
It's super common to like super common to have that anxiety.
And it's always going to default to it's okay to go in and get checked out.
So it's not a mistake to go in if you're worried, you know.
Samantha was like, listen, if the shower doesn't calm you down, put on a movie, then just go in.
You can go in and have them do a quick check and then you can leave.
Or things have progressed and you stay.
Either way, there's no fault in going to get things checked out.
So but then I felt her moving and she was doing her normal karate kicks like crazy.
So I was like, okay, we're good.
So we watched, I think Cinderella or something.
My little sister was there.
Zach was there.
We were just kind of in this early newborn without a newborn bubble of just enjoying labor.
And when the waves would come, you know, Zach would do his pushes and all the things that we learned in our birthing class.
And I was at ease and spent a lot of time sitting backwards on the toilet because that's what was most comfortable with the position that Sutton was in.
And then around 230, the contractions were like four and a half minutes apart at that point.
And mind you, I live a solid 27 minutes away from the hospital.
So not super far, but in my mind, when you've never gone through labor, I didn't know how far I was.
I didn't know how quick this was going to go.
And so I kind of rushed the process and was like, Zach, I think we need to go to the hospital.
We're at four and a half minutes.
I don't want this to all of a sudden get to two minutes, one minute, and we're in the car and we're freaking out.
That was my biggest mistake.
I got to the hospital far too early.
So contraction.
So funny story, while we were driving there, there's construction by our house.
One of those big round, not the pointed cones, those big round construction cones was in the middle of the road and Zach ran over it and it got stuck under the truck.
Mind you, it's like two or three in the morning at this point.
So we have to pull over and it is very stuck.
And he's trying to pull it out and he's like, I need you to reverse it.
I'm having ways.
I'm like, no, I'm not doing anything right now.
That's so good.
And I'm like yelling at him like, get the freaking cone out from under the car.
I'm going to be going labor in this construction site on the middle of the highway at 3 a.m.
Anyway, so that added some stress on to me, which was not necessary.
But we get to the hospital, we get checked in.
They do the test where they can see, yes, your waters did break.
So from 2 a.m., that was technically when my water had broke on their clock.
I did not tell them that it broke at noon earlier that day.
I think, if I'm not mistaken, I think that whatever hour it broke during the day, let's say 12, you just told them 12.
You didn't say p.m.
So you just let them guess that it was the one that was most recent, because you didn't want to be on their clock.
Because I knew that they were...
Tricky girl.
Well, I knew that technically you want to have baby within 48 hours of your water is breaking.
That's my assumption.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
And I knew that my clinic requires it within 24 hours.
So I knew if I had said noon on Friday, they were only going to give me to noon on Saturday before they required C-section induction.
So I just said 12, and we were there at like 2 or 3 a.m.
So they assumed it had just broke, and I didn't correct them.
And I knew, I was discussing this, like Ciarra, you were at the hospital with me.
You knew what happened.
I wasn't trying to like not take medical advice.
It was just like, I know what the hospital wants.
I know what is allowable and what's risk for the baby.
For other people, like listening and not knowing much about this portion, if you have your waters released and you're at the hospital, they're going to, well, anywhere, is going to be checking your temperature every hour or so.
They're doing other things that are going to show a sign of infection, so it really doesn't matter how long your waters have been released.
It just means the longer they're released, the higher the risk that you will get an infection.
But if you're not showing the size of infection, then, okay, well, let's see if we do.
Ultimately, we just want to have a baby.
And the more you're stressed out about being on a time clock, the less likely you are to have a baby.
So we just kind of let that be.
In the back of my mind, I knew that, you know, I have to pay attention to this.
But like you said, they're checking your temperature.
They're doing all these things.
They're looking for, you know, potential issues to arise.
So it's not, you know.
But so we get there, and they check me, and they're like, you're only one and a half centimeters dilated.
And we need to start the induction.
And I'm like, what?
And they were like, how close are your contractions?
And I was like, well, they were about four, they were about four minutes apart, and now they're going to about eight minutes apart because you're stressing me out.
And I had told them over and over, natural birth, no induction.
I have my doulas, I'm not calling them yet because it's clearly not needed.
We're only one centimeter dilated.
This is my first baby.
Like Zach and I, it reiterated over and over again, natural, natural, no inductions, unless needed, no C-sections.
We've only been laboring for so long.
Like just, and at that point, Ciarra was like, leave, you know, you can leave.
And I was like, they are.
Yeah, she's like, go home, finish this out.
And I was like, and then that's when they put the pressure on, well, because your waters are broke, we can't release you, which that's not true.
You can walk out at any time.
But in my head, I'm like, we're already here.
It's 30 minutes away.
Am I going to all of a sudden things pick up and newsflash things?
It's fair.
It's completely fair.
And you know, it was comfortable being there, but newsflash things started to get worse.
We went from this bliss of being in labor and so happy and so fun and enjoying it to Stresstown, USA.
So they get us checked in.
I get, we get put back in a room.
It's probably like 4 or 5 a.m.
at this point.
A nurse comes in, horrible bedside manner.
She goes, oh, you're already here and you're only one centimeter dilated.
It's funny that you think you're going to have a natural birth.
You don't know what the pain that's about to come.
And I was like, I'm not here because of the pain.
I'm here because my contractions were 4 and a half minutes apart, and I didn't want them to get so close that we were in the car driving and things just progressed very quickly.
I'm not here because I was in so much pain that I need to be at a hospital.
This bed is so uncomfortable.
I'd rather go home.
The pain is from this rock-solid bed that you want me to give birth in.
That was one of your biggest complaints.
You were like, I cannot get comfortable here.
It put so much pressure on my hips and my back.
I'd spent 90% of my labor not in that bed.
And was your...
That's what you should do anyway.
Was your sister there at that point?
No.
It was just Zach and I.
She stayed home.
It was just Zach and I at that point.
And so then I get checked in the room.
The nurse says that, and Zach being husband of the year goes, Hold on a sec.
I'm going to pause you right there.
If that's the attitude that you're going to have, then I don't want you coming back into this room.
He goes, We need happiness.
We need support.
She just told you she wants to have a natural birth, and you're going to come in here and tell her she can't do that.
I don't want you as our nurse anymore.
Please find someone else.
He kills me.
Oh, I'm sorry.
And he was like, We don't need that attitude.
I don't know where you get off coming in with that attitude, but we don't want that here.
And I'm like, Okay.
So good.
And then seconds later, she's going under my gown.
Doesn't tell me that she's going under my gown.
So Zach just yells at her.
And then she's going under my gown.
Doesn't tell me anything.
And I'm like, Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
She goes, I'm administering the side attack.
And I'm like, Excuse me?
And I'm like, I didn't I did not did not sign and form consent on this.
I specifically told the doctor, no side attack, no ripening of the cervix, no Pitocin.
We're not there yet.
I said, if we need to get to that point, we will.
But we are not there yet.
My doulas are not here.
I feel really good.
Baby's looking good on the monitor.
What are you doing?
And she goes, I'm just doing what I was told.
I go, well, you need to leave my room and not come back in.
So then the doctor comes in and goes, sorry, that was a confusion.
I told her not to, and she just did anyways.
And I go, that's another big red flag, that nurses are just doing things that you told them not to do, or did you try to push her and think that I wasn't going to push back?
People listening to this are going to think that this is made up.
Like, this is the horror stories you hear of, and this is a great hospital, you guys.
We have great things that happen here.
We love this hospital.
It's the one that we prefer.
But things like this happen, and you have to be on your toes, and you shouldn't have to be, and that sucks.
Had I not known, you only know what you know.
But because I had research, because I had you guys, I knew that this is not necessary at this point.
And again, I've always had an open mind.
If things change, things change.
We're not yet.
I haven't even been really full-blown, active laboring for 24 hours at this point.
It was like, started at one or two, but that was pretty early, early, early, not active labor.
So then the doctor comes in and we fire her, and she's like, well, I'm going to be off in an hour anyway, so I won't come back in here.
I'll let you guys be.
And I'm like, peace out, Girl Scout.
So that doctor nurse combo, atrocious.
Like, wish I could say the doctor's name because I just, I wish I could tell people to beware.
Then the next set of nurses come in, who ended up being with us from start to finish, and Ciarra and I were so blessed to have these nurses because they were so on with the natural birth.
They were so respectful of it.
They were so excited for it.
They said they don't get a lot of natural births in the hospital.
Shocking.
And they were our biggest kind of rally support team that we could have ever had.
And they were very...
The doctor did not love that I wanted to not do an epidural or Pitocin or all these things, but the nurses honestly helped advocate quite a bit for Zach and I, and we had Ciarra there too, and it was kind of this kumbaya moment with our nurses.
We had a lot of fun with them.
So I texted Ciarra, and I was like, do not come.
We got a long, long night ahead of us.
And so then the next morning, I still was only at like 2.5 centimeters dilated.
Things were just slowing down, and I think it was because they put so much stress on me so early on, that I went from waves 4.5 minutes apart to eight to then 12 minutes apart.
And it was just like, yikes.
So around, I think it was what, 2 or 3 p.m., Ciarra, that you came?
No, it was morning.
And you know why I know this?
Because I'm reading your text messages right now, and it was about 9.30 in the morning when you guys had this conversation.
And Ciarra was like, is there anything I can get you on my way?
And Zach was like, no, I've got a giant cup of coffee.
I'm good.
And he was like, on second thought, can you bring me a bean and cheese taco from literally anywhere so Cory can take a bite and I can eat?
And I'm reading this right now, and I am just hyper focused.
I didn't speak any of it.
I need a bean and cheese taco in my life at this very moment.
So when we're done with this recording, that's where I'm going.
Nothing knows me so well, because even if I'm hungry, I will eat a bean and cheese taco.
That's so funny.
So 9.30 about the air came up.
So funny that it was 9.30, because in my mind, you got there at 3 p.m.
But that just shows you how huge things are when you're in late.
Like your mind's not focusing on time.
It's not, you're just in it.
You're focused on baby.
You're focused on relaxing.
The outside world is just, it's foreign to you at that point in time.
I mean, your sister was there at this point.
Yeah, Kerry was there.
Because she was there when I got there.
Yeah, and then my dad showed up too.
I mean, we had a whole-
Oh my gosh, that's right.
Her dad, that was like the sweetest.
Okay, so at what point, and I don't remember because this was a long time ago, did you end up getting Pitocin at some point?
Hour 45.
Okay, so I had been there quite a long time too.
By the time we got that.
Yeah, that was at, so we labored all day.
That's when I remember the nurse, when she did the cervical check, she could feel based on the forehead that hurt.
She was LOP.
So Sutton's head was turned to the left, and that's why things were not progressing.
She just kept, and that's when I had the horrible pains, was I think she's pushing, I have a fibroid on my left side, and I think every wave, she was hitting the fibroid over and over and over and over again.
And so the waves really weren't bad.
They were super dual.
At that point, my body was starting to get tired, but it was this pain that I was feeling that had, it was a completely different pain.
And it was because Sutton had turned her head to the left and was no longer in the birth canal.
So this is one of my biggest memories, is Cory gets up to go to the bathroom, so that goes with her.
And her sister is all in on this unmedicated birth.
She is wanting to know all about my life as a doula.
She's obsessed.
And I had right before you went into the bathroom said, I just, I want to reserve vaginal birth.
And what I'm seeing is you're exhausted.
Eventually, so it's maternal exhaustion, but eventually it's going to be fetal exhaustion.
And then it's game over.
We're going for a C-section.
Your waves have spaced out, and now we're needing Pitocin.
And I think we were on Pitocin at that point, but now your waves are even stronger because they're artificially induced, and you're having this pain because of her positioning, which is making your hips hurt, your back hurt, and then you have your fibroids into play.
And I was like, I know this isn't what you want, but sometimes we have to kind of trade out things.
And if we want to try to preserve a vaginal birth, I think thinking five chest moves ahead, an epidural I think is going to be the smart move here.
And it was defeating.
I know.
So you go to the bathroom, and your sister looks at me.
She wanted to kill me.
She was like, why are you saying?
And so I explained it to her, and she kind of just was quiet.
Her demeanor completely changed.
You decided to get an epidural.
But after the birth, fast forward, spoiler alert, at one point she came up to me and she apologized to me.
And I said, why?
What do you mean?
And she goes, I thought you were a traitor.
I thought you were just like the doctors.
All of a sudden, we said we wanted this natural birth, unmedicated.
I was supporting my sister.
We were all working so hard.
And I felt like you gave up on us.
And she goes, now I see you didn't.
And I'm really sorry that I treated you like this.
So throughout the birth, the thing that also caused delays was, do you remember the Bluetooth monitor?
The middle of waves.
And they'd be like, hold on, don't move.
As they're sandpapering my stomach, to get a monitor to attend, mind you, sandpaper under the stomach when you're going through labor is nothing.
It's like, whatever.
They're trying to, the Bluetooth doesn't work, but the doctor's requiring it because you don't want an epidural.
So we have to wear this monitor.
And it was like, why can't we do the 20 minutes on, 40 minutes off with the regular heart monitor?
And that's when my waves started to get further and further and further apart.
And it was just like, I stopped dilating things and the doctor had come in two times prior to that saying that I needed a C-section.
So it was all this stress.
It was the heart monitor couldn't find the baby's heartbeat, which then gave me stress that there wasn't a heartbeat.
And then the nurses had to come in every five minutes because they lost the heart.
Then they had to move the thing and all the stuff while telling me to remain still while in the middle of the waves.
And so there was like probably 12 hours of just straight stress, not focusing on having the baby, but just stress of she's not dilating fast enough, the heart monitor is not working, the baby's LOP, we have to have her in these positions, the doctor coming in and constantly saying, C-section, C-section, C-section.
And at one point I told the doctor, please leave.
Please do not come back in here again until it's absolutely necessary that I need this C-section.
I was on the clock at that point, and they didn't like that I had been there for, what, less than 24 hours.
They wanted to get that room open, and it was very obvious what was happening at that point.
They were using all the scare tactics.
So it was probably, I think it was around 10 or 11 p.m.
they started to give the Pitocin.
And we did a very slow drip, because again, I didn't want Pitocin.
But at that point, I knew I was only five centimeters, I think, or five.
I forget.
Yeah, I think you were somewhere around four or five.
I can't remember what it was, but it was like, okay.
We get it.
We need a little help here.
Do you remember that I D my things?
I went from being a five and a half to a four and a half.
Yes.
So your cervix started what seems to be swelling, and they were checking you too much, and they were bugging you too much, and all of the things, all of the things that we teach about in class, and it was kind of like this perfect cascade of interventions that we speak of.
And yes, so we were like, okay, epidural and chilling out is what we need to do.
Well, and so, and also that was the Pitocin.
The Pitocin was so strong, my body could handle the natural ways.
The Pitocin, for anyone who's going to get Pitocin without an epidural, prayers, best of luck.
There's a reason it's not natural labor.
Like, there's a time for Pitocin, and I needed it at that point in time.
But the pain was something that cannot be described.
It was nothing like natural labor.
And your baby was OP as well, which is also just a really young com-
I remember your, like, tailbone was hurting so badly because the baby was-
Yeah, because your baby was OP, and that is also just a-
it's not an ideal position, and it is not comfortable, especially when we're having that with Pitocin.
So, yeah.
It was just a storm of not normal things to happen in labor, not to, like, scare people, because the natural labor part was amazing.
And I could have done that as long as my body wasn't exhausted.
But at this point, I was going on over 24 hours of no sleep, because I didn't really sleep the night before, as much as I tried.
And so we gave, I think it was, like, 10 p.m., they did the Pitocin drip, contractions or waves got very, very, very strong very quickly.
And that's when they were like, your cervix is starting to shut.
We think that this is just, your body's exhausted.
This is too much.
And then it was around, like, 2 a.m., I think, that Ciarra literally pulled me in the bathroom, and she was like, C-sections off the table, right, Cory, unless we absolutely have to.
And I was like, yes, and she goes, okay, so to preserve the vaginal, we're at the point that you have to get an epidural.
Like, this is the only way that I see forward because your body is so exhausted, and it's just...
Intense.
You were, like, fighting every wave.
You were fighting it.
Remember, I was falling asleep in between each wave for 30 seconds.
And it would wake her up in horror.
Yeah.
And Ciarra was like, I know this is not what...
And I'm not what you wanted, not what you planned, and I'm bawling in the bathroom.
I feel defeated.
I'm so upset.
I felt like this could have been avoided had I not been at that hospital.
Or if I at least would have had the nurses that we had all day long, maybe things would have ended differently.
But because I got so stressed out so early on, it just was kind of this domino effect that just kind of set this thing in motion.
And so I agreed to do the epidural.
I think at that point, I had labored for 49 hours with no epidural.
And your body's just, it's tired.
So we did it, and I experienced the breakthrough pain that they talk about, aka did not work on my right side, which I was actually super thankful about because I wanted so badly to feel every ounce of this labor.
So they give me the epidural, they say, hey, it's going to be a few hours.
Like she was only five centimeters.
It's going to take her a while to get to the 10.
So my dad was in the room, my little sister was in the room, Zach was in the room, and Ciarra was in the room.
My little sister and dad picked the couch.
Ciarra and Zach go to the car just to go sleep so that when it's time to push, I've got my rally team in there like, and Cory needs to nap because she's not going to be able to push if she's this tired.
You think that I slept?
Yeah, right.
No, didn't see that there was...
I felt really good to have the epidural because my body had just been so tense for so long that I felt like this weight had finally kind of been lifted.
As upset that I was, I knew that that's what me and Sutton needed at that point.
So I was confident in our decision, and I knew that it was the battery section and vaginal was the most important thing to me.
So fast forward 45 minutes.
At that point, I wasn't pushing the button because I was so determined to feel the ring of fire, to feel that baby come out.
I refused.
And so our nurse kept coming in, and I was like, yeah, like I can feel a lot in my back and my hips.
And like, I was like, I'm feeling again, like I can move my legs.
And she was like, push the button.
I was like, I'm not pushing the button.
I'm not pushing the button.
And she's like, you're going to stop yourself from dialing.
I was like, I'm not pushing the button.
You can't make me.
So determined.
Then I started to feel the baseball coming and then the soccer ball in the butt.
And I was like, there's a soccer ball in my butt.
Sorry if I'm in the background.
She was like, there's no way.
You were just at five centimeters.
Like, there's no way that it's time that she already came through with how long this labor has taken.
And so she goes and she checks and she's like, no, we still got time, walks out of the room.
It's 30 seconds later.
I called the call button again.
I'm like, you don't understand.
I'm about to bear down and push.
I don't know how else to explain this to you, but the baby is coming.
Wait, she checked your cervix and said it's not time?
Yeah.
I don't remember that.
And 30 seconds later, you said?
You were in the car.
Why was I in the car?
You were sleeping.
Oh, because I went to nap.
That's right.
Okay.
They thought that we were going to have like four hours.
So I think you were in the car for like an hour and a half.
I can't remember the times, but it was a lot shorter than what we were anticipating.
We thought that y'all were going to get a nap and baby was going to come around seven or eight.
We were all very excited for a nap.
Baby came at 534, not 8 a.m.
So she comes back in and she goes, Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
That's the baby's head.
She has so much hair.
I didn't realize that was her head.
Oh, Lord.
Excellent.
She was like, I tried to put my, you know, I tried to put my fingers in and she goes, they wouldn't go in because her head is already.
Because that's a baby.
That's a baby.
Like I was the baby.
The baby was.
And I was like, no, I feel her.
I very much feel her coming in.
Well-were.
Thank you.
Call your husband.
Call your doula.
They need to get in here.
Yeah, so like literally, we're trying to get ahold of them.
Zach didn't answer the first two times.
My dad's like, I'll go out there and get them.
And luckily, Zach answered.
And then you came.
And I think y'all thought that you had time.
And I was like, Carrie, text them that, like, I'm about to push.
There is.
There is time.
No time.
And we did two practice pushes and her head was practically all the way out.
The doctor was not in the room because they did not take it seriously.
That baby was.
How did that happen with your small cervix or your small pelvis?
You know, she came out in six pushes.
It was wild.
I wonder.
It's really weird.
You shouldn't have been able to have a vaginal birth.
16 minutes was all that it took.
16 minutes and six pushes was all that it took to get that baby out of my tiny, tiny, tiny.
So much that the doctor wasn't even in the room because our nurse kept calling and being like, it's time to push.
And they think it's going to take two, you know, two hours for first time moms.
And I remember looking at Ciarra and being like, the doctor kept saying, don't push, don't push.
I got to put my gloves on.
We got to set up.
Her shoes were untied.
She clearly was like on break doing something.
And Ciarra is like, someone catch the baby.
You can't.
I was like, I'm pushing whether she wants me to or not.
It's involuntary at this point in time.
And so there's a video.
I'm literally reaching down and grabbing my baby.
And the doctor's coming in with her gloves at the very last minute.
But that's how quickly things moved at the very end.
And I just needed that little bit of epidural to relax my body and get things moving.
And she shot out through that breast now.
It was not hard.
And this is why your sister was like, oh, now I see what you meant.
Because y'all sometimes it just takes your body being able to relax.
She was so tense and so exhausted that when her body finally got to have a little bit of a break, even though you were still feeling some things, it was a break compared to what it had been.
And they were able to have all of that, but it can be magic.
So it is a tool.
Epidural is a tool that can be really, really helpful.
C-section isn't the only tool.
There are other things we can do.
So that was really awesome that your sister got to see.
I mean, imagine if we had still ended in Caesarean, she would have just thought I was the devil.
So I'm so, I was just so happy.
If anybody deserved this, you did because you tried so freaking hard and every intervention came your way and we did it.
I had 49 hours of natural labor, a C-section, while if it would have been medically necessary, I would have been accepting of it, but it wouldn't have crushed me.
So doing the Epidural wall, when I went in there with a very closed mindset of, I mean, an open mindset, but really in my heart of hearts, I didn't want it.
I was very accepting that that was my journey.
And that's what happened because I got to have my vaginal birth.
And it shows that, in my case, those things were necessary.
And there is a time and place for those medical needs.
And I can say this because you're you, and I know that you're not going to get upset because some people will be like, you're blaming me and you know that I'm not.
But your birth with a provider that was different and didn't start grooming you for C-section early on probably would have been different, right?
I mean, do you feel like that?
No, I do.
I also feel like had I even not done a home birth at like a birthing center, I might have had a very different outcome.
Now, we'll never know.
You know, baby turned inside, but there was a lot of added stress being in that hospital.
That like things at home were moving great.
Everything was great.
I felt good.
There was minimal to no pain.
Things were, you know, I was happy and euphoric and the second I got to that hospital, it was a battle.
And when you're in labor, you don't have time to fight people.
You don't want to fight people.
And I felt like we were having to fight every single hour, whether it was the heart monitor, whether it was to tell the doctor to stop coming in, telling me I needed a C-section, when baby and I were completely fine and things were moving along the way that they needed to.
Did I need medical intervention at the end?
Yeah, but had these things not happened, I probably wouldn't have needed it.
Yeah, that's a hard look back, you know?
And it wasn't your doctor that ended up being there when we had the baby, but, and this is so bad, but I remember going, I want her to come and check on you tomorrow.
I want her to do her rounds and I want you to give her a big middle finger and be like, where I had a baby out of my vagina.
Oh, don't worry, she came.
Oh, no.
And brought a bottle of wine and said, look, you did it.
I knew that you could do it.
I'm so happy that you got the birth that you wanted.
This second baby's going to fly right out.
You just needed the first one to get through.
And I'm like, had my baby not been LOP, she probably would have shot through the canal a whole lot earlier.
We just had not the best place.
The hardest part was that Sutton would not move from LOP.
I almost needed the epidural to relax my muscles because...
And that Pitocin is stronger than your waves were.
And so it helped corkscrew her down a little bit more.
They were a little more powerful.
Oh, I forgot, because the waves got further.
Yeah.
It was harder to make her do anything.
And the box no longer had the strength to be moving her.
And that's why the Pitocin was eventually needed, was it was no matter what position we were doing, she was not moving and the waves just were not strong enough.
So all in all, I got my vaginal birth and at the end of the day, while it wasn't 100% natural, I got to leave there having what I essentially wanted, which was vaginal.
But had I not had doulas, Lord knows I would have been in a C-section by noon on Saturday versus having my baby vaginal at 5:34 a.m.
going with this morning.
And Zach was a huge piece of that.
I mean, his unwavering support.
It was Zach, it was my dad, it was you.
I mean, you're not a counter pressure.
You had such a great team.
And I don't think people realize how important that is.
Because again, when you're in that position and you have these people telling you these things, one, you need a husband who's very involved to make sure you're not second guessing things, to be there to support you.
I mean, like we were dancing in the room and he was in the shower holding the water on me so I could bounce on the ball.
And he knew all the spots that I needed to have the counter pressure to make me feel comfortable while Ciarra was doing other things to keep me calm.
And then my dad would step in when Zach's hands were tired and my sister would step in when Ciarra was tired.
And it was like, had we not had all those people with hands on deck, I don't think it would have ended the way that it did.
Thank you so much for being willing to come on.
This is really vulnerable to say like, hey, I had a warning and I still didn't take it and I fought my way through and I kind of got what I wanted still, but like, don't do that.
Just thank you.
It's a wild thing and like, and it was always hard for me to talk about the epidural because I was so against it.
But after going through labor and going through what I went through, I now know one, I'm never gonna have a baby in the hospital unless, you know, with my fibroids, that causes kind of, you know, things that I have to look into, but it'll definitely be a burden center at the absolute most, if not a home birth.
But to any mama out there that's afraid, it's okay to get those medical interventions when it is necessary.
Like, I got to have my vaginal birth, it was amazing, my recovery was great, and, you know, but make sure you have doulas.
Like, that's the best.
Make sure you have doulas and don't go to certain practices they recommend against.
I love it.
Cory, this has been such a fun look back, even through the midst of a, you know, kind of a rough story.
I think for a lot of people, this would probably be a pretty traumatic experience, but because of the support that you had and the preparation that you did and just your overall you-ness, it was not for you.
And I'm so glad for that.
But thank you very much for coming on and being vulnerable with us and sharing this story.
I know this is going to be a really powerful story for other families who are in similar positions to look back on and read or listen to whatever it is, however you take in our podcast.
Oh, I was gonna say, please go have a bean burrito or bean and cheese taco with Zach tonight for us.
But also, like, I want people to understand me looking back on this experience is only a positive one because I had the guidance and the support.
Like, I don't know how to make that.
I have so many moms that want to do what I did, but they don't hire doulas.
They do these doctors.
I don't think people understand that if this is what you want, you have to have a doula that is there to support you and be kind of a guiding light.
Like, at the end of the day, you have to make decisions for you.
But to have this support and these people that are there, I texted y'all at least once a week, if not multiple times a week.
And I can look back on what could have been a super traumatic experience, and I still smile and it was a very positive experience for me because I had you guys.
And had I not, I think I would be one of those moms that had a traumatic birth and was having to kind of deal with that.
And I don't feel that way.
I know what I did wrong, and I know what I'll change for the future, but I don't look back having any trauma from what I experienced.
Oh, that gives me a chill, and I love it so much.
What a great night's story.
All right, we love y'all and we will talk to you soon.
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