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Manhood often feels like navigating through uncharted territory, but you don't have to walk alone. Join us as we guide a conversation about how to live intentionally so that we can join God in reclaiming the masculine restorative presence he designed us to live out. Laugh, cry, and wonder with us as we explore the ins and outs of manhood together.
Squirrels in the Floor - Restore
00:00
Hey you guys, welcome back to the podcast. It is good to be back here with you. I am with my good friend, Jesse French. Good to be with you, Chris. Hey Jesse. Good to be with you again today. And you guys, today we have a special guest with us. His name is Cody Buriff. Cody is on the restoration project team. He is the chief of resources and experiences, which is a really big important title because we do a lot of experiences and resources in restoration projects. So,
00:30
Most of the things that we have in RP have Cody's fingerprints all over them. So Cody, it is great to have you today. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Jesse. It's good to be with you guys. So be fun. Yeah, you know, and it's even funny, Cody, because I'm welcoming you to a podcast that you are helping to produce. And if you guys just listened, if you just listened to the intro, that was Cody's voice and that is Cody welcoming you into the.
01:00
bumper music at the beginning of every podcast. That is, that is Cody. So one of the cool things right now is that Cody is, is currently recording with us from not his home state of Indiana, but Cody, tell us where you are. I am in Puerto Rico. Okay. Not jealous at all. And, and Cody, what has taken you to Puerto Rico? Oh man. The very short version of that story is my wife came to me a year ago.
01:29
and said, hey, what if we moved to Puerto Rico for a year? And I said, that sounds cool. What if we did it for a couple months instead? Because the year is a little overwhelming. And really, we're here kind of seeking the Lord to hear his voice. We are trying on a different lifestyle, kind of on an adventure together with our family, showing our kids a different way to live, a different culture, and what that can look like.
01:58
And so it's been an adventure so far for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that the internet stays stable. If it sounds a little echoey, Cody's in his apartment kitchen in Puerto Rico. So glad technology can bring us together still, Cody. But so today we were wanting to talk a little bit more about what it means to be a restorative man. And that is part of what Restoration Project is all about, is helping guys on the journey towards becoming a restorative man.
02:28
And I wanted to start the conversation with you, Cody. And so not in Puerto Rico, I've not been to where you're living in Puerto Rico, but I have been to your house in Indiana and I have actually been to your garage. Okay. And in your garage are about 15 different projects that you have going on because you're a man of many talents and a man of many projects. And so I'd love for you to, you know, besides the experiences and resources that you
02:57
develop and create for a restoration project. Tell us more about what you do in your garage. Well, yeah, like you said, I do have a ton of projects and unfortunately by nature, most of them are unfinished projects. They're just ongoing. I love to start things. I'm not great at finishing them. But yeah, I mean, our house itself, I have worked on it on and then in the garage over the last couple of years, multiple projects. But some of those have been.
03:27
vehicles. So I've got two 1948 Willys vehicles. One's a Jeep, one's a truck. My the Jeep is mine and the truck is my wife's. So we have been working on those and getting them drivable and enjoyable. Yeah. Well, that's a liberal love. It's really fun to hear the updates from you around that. And every time I'm like, man, Cody's ingenuity and his creativity and willingness to just
03:54
troubleshoot and stay the course is off the charts. So I just love your willingness to stick your nose in there and figure it out. It's pretty impressive. Yes. Sometimes I just want to light it all on fire. So it's not all. Well, I think any man with a garage, you know, wants to light it on fire every once in a while. I don't. So I have a question for the two of you specifically about my garage. My garage ends up.
04:23
with a ton of unbroken down boxes. Does your family just take all the Amazon boxes and all of the like random things that come in boxes and recycling and just like throw it in the garage expecting you to break it down and put it in the recycling bin? Or is that just me? I'll let you go, Cody. I have a very specific answer to this, but you go first, Cody. I think if anybody's doing that in our house, it's actually probably me.
04:52
That's just what I was gonna say. I'm so glad. Me too. Oh, no. When you might meet that box, it's perfect or something. That's true. Oh, my gosh. I'm so glad. I am so glad that I am not married to you guys because that already happens in my house. Everyone just throws the boxes in there and I can't. Sometimes I come home, I park in the garage and I can't even get in the house because there's piles of boxes right in the middle, right in front of the stairs. So.
05:20
I don't know about you as you're listening, you know, wherever you are listening to this podcast, which one of you, are you the, are you the perpetrator or are you the victim? No, no, no, that's the wrong language. Cause it is a hundred percent the right language. We are in the right. Well, so Cody, there's, you know, not only do you have some vehicles that you are in the process of restoring, but you have
05:45
a whole other side kind of business that you are running around restoration. So tell us more about that. Yeah. So I actually kind of side business, hobby side business, like to dabble in some real estate. And so some of that is rental property, some of that is flips. And so really, at this point in time, I've probably flipped about 10 properties total. Wow. Depending on how you're calculating that.
06:15
Yeah, it's fun. There's something about taking something that was once cool, then got dilapidated and then making it cool again. Yeah. How did you get started functionally? Like we said, you're a handy guy, you've got a lot of practical skills, but did you just jump in head first? Did you have some guy who kind of mentored you? Like what did that first endeavor look like?
06:44
Yeah, the first time was I was still in college. Wow. And I had just gotten married and we were broke. And so we needed to find the cheapest possible way to live. And so my first flip was a live in flip. It was our, it was our first house and we bought it for $17,000. No bank would give us a loan on it because it didn't have any plumbing. Somebody had gone in and ripped out all the copper.
07:09
And so the ceiling, the plaster on the ceiling was falling down. Everything was just kind of a mess and a wreck. And so there wasn't a lot of value in it for most people. And so that was our first that was my first flip. And that frankly, I had no idea what I was doing. I learned a ton and I screwed up a lot of things learning. Wow. Wow. So now look at it like that part of the world. Gutsy move. And you're still married. Well done. I know. Kind of amazing.
07:38
She stuck with me. How did you even live there without plumbing? Well, that was the first thing I had to fix, obviously, was getting the plumbing done. Somebody had gone in at that time, it was pretty common for people to go in and in the city to rip out the copper and sell the copper to scrapyard for 50 bucks or whatever. So I learned how to do plumbing immediately after buying the place. Right. So yeah. The crash course. Right. Yes, very much.
08:07
Well, that's remarkable that you started with that. Tell us, Cody, a story of one of your restoration projects. Ha ha, like what I did there. With regard to one of the houses, what is one of the stories that kind of stands out to you as a significant moment? Oh man, there's been a lot of significant moments, different times.
08:32
So maybe I'll tell the story of the second house that we moved into. So once we were done with that house, we outgrew it. We bought another house just up the street from it. And it was similar situation. Copper had been ripped out, all that. And so fixed it, moved into it, continued to fix it. And one of the last projects I tackled was the upstairs bathroom. And going into the bathroom, we had been hearing noises in the ceiling downstairs.
09:01
My son had been sitting in mousetraps and whatever and come to figure out it was squirrels. And so there had been squirrels nesting in the bathroom floor. And so I went in and I was ripping out all the walls, we were completely gutting it all the way down to the studs. Wait, wait, wait, time out. I need to go back to something. So you were living in the house. How long were you living in the house and you were hearing these noises? Man, I don't know.
09:31
Several months at least. For what we were in. Cody, oh my God. Cardboard, remember? Cardboard boxes can stay in the garage. So squirrel noise is unreal. Well, we didn't know there were squirrels immediately. Right, this was- It doesn't matter what animal it was. There was an animal in your ceiling. Yeah, it freaked us out too. Okay. Okay, all right. So this is part of why I'm working on the bathroom is like figure this out and get rid of the squirrels. So gutted the whole bathroom and I'm, you know.
10:00
being loud banging around hammers and pry bars and everything. And then I go to rip up the floor because we're going to have to redo the whole floor and everything. And I'm ripping that up, get it all out. And I've been loud all day in there. And I think, okay, there's no way if there's a squirrel living in here, there's no way it's in here because I've just been, you know, banging like crazy. And then there's the squirrel's nest in the floor. And so I get a garbage bag and I got a glove on my hand and I'm grabbing squirrel nest and throwing it in the garbage bag and throwing it in the garbage bag.
10:30
Pick up a handful, throw it in the garbage bag. Pick up a handful and it moves. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. And I screamed like a little girl and jumped and like threw whatever was in my hand and ran out the door and like kind of closed the door and kind of peeked in. And sure enough, there's this like teenager squirrel that had been like, you know, almost out of the nest. And he's like hanging out on the wall. And I'm like...
11:00
freaking out like what am I supposed to do? How do I get the squirrel out of here? And uh, bottom line, I found a dog crate, like a travel dog crate and this long stick and I like kind of got it into the dog crate and closed the zip up the door and took it outside. Meanwhile, mom is like outside on the power lines barking at me the whole time. Mom squirrel. Yeah. Mom squirrel. Yes. It was. That was the freakiest time.
11:29
That was the freakiest time working on a property, I would say. Right. Oh, that's awesome. Wow. So, so far, we have learned that you moved your new wife into a dilapidated home without plumbing and then second, you lived in another home that had squirrels living with you for several months. So-
11:49
I commend you for saying yes to your wife to move to Puerto Rico. It's finally her turn, I think. Well, as we talk about restoration, and here is the great metaphor of what we're talking about. And you just said it a few minutes ago, that you would take something that was glorious, that became dilapidated, and you're returning it back into something that is really cool.
12:18
And I'd love for us to kind of chat a little bit about what the work of restoration means in the lives of men and how that actually is what we're hoping for as part of this restorative journey for guys as a part of restoration project. So tell us a little bit about why, Cody, you think this is important work? What does it involve? What does the journey look like for a man in this space?
12:49
If you don't step into it, I mean, that's the why is really what happens if you don't step into it and what happens is similar to a building. I mean, it gets run down and dilapidated and then really what gets passed on, you can bring it back to the humans, right? If you're not at work in the restoration of your own soul, you're just going to pass on all of that gunky stuff inside of you. The ways that your glory has been destroyed, you're going to pass on to your kids and your community.
13:19
as opposed to being able to offer them your real self, who you were made to be. And in that, being able to live that out, I mean, that's what God made us for. So you're saying, which I totally agree, like the implications of this are much wider than just our own lives. Like our...
13:41
Our willingness or unwillingness to step into this process does not just have effects on my own life as a man, but it has effects on all those around me. And so it is the why actually is yes, it is implications for me, but it also has incredible potential for those closest to me. Yeah, absolutely. And I'd add to it as well and just say like, this is what God wants. This is what God has for us and calls us to. This is the gospel.
14:10
This is what Jesus wants to do in us and through us to the world around us. If we're not stepping into that space, if we're not willing to go there, we're denying the Lord what he wants for us and what he wants for the people around us. Yeah. Cody, how hard is it to flip a house? It is hard. It's a lot of work. Yeah. There's a lot of stumbling around and messing things up.
14:38
to relearning and refiguring it out and doing it over again. It's not easy. Yeah. It's not as easy as I think you do wants to make it look. Yeah. I think, you know, we can take that sentence that you just gave us with regard to the house and apply it to the restoration of our own hearts and souls that it is not easy. It is messy. There's a lot of stumbling around. There's a lot of relearning things. There's a lot of trying things and recognizing that doesn't work. There's a lot of discovering of
15:07
oh, there's more broken than I originally thought. Oh, there's other things living here that don't belong here. And I need to get them out. And that is a hard and freaky process. So it is the, you know, to use the metaphor of the restoration of a building and coming back to, to make it inhabitable.
15:35
to make our lives inhabitable by ourselves and by those that we love, it does take some real intentional work. It takes a lot of mistakes, it takes a lot of effort, it takes a lot of planning, it takes a lot of time. And I think one of the things I wanna invite us all to, the three of us and listeners too, is like this is something that is, I love how you just said this is the gospel and it takes time.
16:05
Yeah, yeah, the other thing I might toss in there as well is, um, I think sometimes it takes eyes to see. And so for example, like when looking for a building, a house to restore, you know, or looking for a place to live, uh, what I notice is I'm going around looking at these, you know, a hundred year old houses that sometimes people have done really bad repairs to. Sometimes people have ripped out some of the molding, the really cool old moldings, you know.
16:34
the character of the house, they've neglected and let things fall apart. And so being able to walk in and actually take your eyes and kind of peel off the layer that just sees the mess and be able to see what's behind the mess and what could be and what once was, that's probably the most important piece of the whole thing is that initial ability to step into it, seeing what could be the hope.
17:03
And so with our own lives, I mean, frankly, if I'm being honest, like a lot of times I struggle to take the, you know, open my eyes and see what could be or what was meant to be for me. Cause I get bogged down in the disrepair and the things that are just, that have been neglected, the things that have been repaired improperly. And so I'm able to do that with other people fairly easily, but with my own self, it's, that can be really hard. Yeah.
17:32
Where I agree with you wholeheartedly, talk a little bit about it is difficult to do and to have that perspective in our own lives, but put maybe a little more meat on the bone of maybe some spaces that you would look or some intentional spaces. So like again, in the house metaphor, maybe you're looking at, you know, the drywall, it's a mess or the plumbing, right? You kind of have some eyes for some different areas to examine. But as we consider our own lives and our own hearts, are there spaces?
18:00
systems to use that metaphor that you kind of say, oh, this could be a place to look as I consider the restorative work that God wants to do. Yeah. I think one of the places that is helpful to look sometimes is, and I'm even dealing with this this week, is when I am getting angry or frustrated, or when I'm noticing that I'm hurting the people around me in some way, shape, or form.
18:29
I have a couple of options there. One, I can notice like something's not well, something's not right, something is messed up here. And I have the, you know, if I'm in a good spot, I can stop and be curious about it. If I'm not in a good spot, I might just get, you know, judgmental towards myself or kind of smack the guy in the mirror kind of thing, beat myself up. But looking there.
18:52
and letting myself be curious and take a deep dive, or better yet, having somebody else help me take that deep dive of what's going on under the surface? What am I, what am I actually, why am I angry? Am I feeling hurt by something? Am I feeling afraid of something, afraid of being hurt by something? And then really, then the question is like, well, how's that familiar? Like what?
19:17
How does that feel familiar? How has that been the case in my life? Why is that something that I'm afraid of or hurt by? And letting myself follow some of those threads deep into my story of things that I may have experienced when I was younger. I mean, that's a significant thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, your word curiosity is one that...
19:43
We use a lot a restoration project and it feels so central of just, just even that choice that you described when there is frustration or anger, anger to have the subtleness to say, Hey, I'm going to be curious about this rather than ignore it or stuff it or like just that ability to wonder around that. Man, that is that feels like such a mature and needed space. It takes a ton of work and yet such a needed starting point. So, so important.
20:13
And to go back to what you said earlier too, Cody, it just takes eyes to see that maybe the anger, I love how you said it, like what's behind the anger. The anger is more like evidence that something has been falling apart or some other misrepair has happened and have eyes to see that you're not actually, like God did not design you to be an angry man. That there is something behind that and the anger is covering up.
20:40
that you're actually working towards restoring what was more true about you than the anger. And that's important. I think that's really important. Yeah. Wow. Well, Cody, we could talk for hours and hours, I think, about a variety of things and we're going to definitely have you back on the podcast to share more of maybe more squirrel stories, maybe more vehicle stories. I don't know. Beard stories. Cody has a great beard.
21:08
for you guys can't see it, but his beard is. It's an epic. It is. Yes, it is. And also would love to hear a little bit more in a future episode, Cody, around what Puerto Rico has been for you as a man and what it has been like for you to bring your family there and kind of what God is doing in your life in that space. So we will. We're going to save that conversation for later. But for now, thanks for being a part of the show. I might just add one, since we've got him here, one of the things that we are excited about
21:38
restoration project is the collective, which is an online community of men designed to pursue what God has for us and to engage one another, to have some content to help in that. And Cody is really the mastermind behind that. And so since we've got you here, Cody, give us a little just preview around the collective, why we've built it, what it offers men. Just speak a little bit about that.
22:03
Yeah, I would say so the community is the free space where, you know, you can actually get this podcast. You can, you know, actually engage with a couple other people around that sort of space. The collective is, is the space beyond that. It's kind of the inner circle a little bit where we've got many courses and live events just for collective members. And so a lot of different things that are part of that, even right now we're building a restorative manhood pathway.
22:31
a huge mini course that we're putting together. And this is being built by a host of guys that are part of our restoration project community, trusted men, good men. And it's fun to have all of their input on all of that as well. And so there are so many pieces of that, that puzzle that I would love for you to be able to experience. And so, yeah, I, I don't think I could recommend jumping in and checking out the collective and, you know, enough. Awesome. Kind of love it. Yeah. Thanks for your work in that.
23:00
Thanks for the space that is graded there. It is something we're fired up and excited to invite men into. So thanks, man. Thanks for joining us today. This is fun. Excited to do it again. Thanks for having me guys. Yeah. Take care.